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#but everything is not terrible because the sun shone today. and i don't hate my friends but i wish they hated me.
thatsalotofdragons · 1 year
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need to kms and laugh while i do it
#FUCK i hate grief. i don't know man#talkin tag#HE WAS SO GOOD!!!! HE WAS SO GOOD AND I WISH HE WAS STILL HERE!!!! AND I HOPE THE GRIEF NEVER LEAVES MY HEART#I HOPE I GRIEVE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THE STARS. I HOPE I GRIEVE AT SUNRISE. AND SUNSET. AND MIDDAY AND MIDNIGHT#I HOPE THE GRIEF SITS AND SITS AND STAYS. I HOPE THE LOVE IS NOT WASTED#fuck. FUCK#everything is terrible and i hate all my friends and i wish i was gone and i wish none of this happened#but everything is not terrible because the sun shone today. and i don't hate my friends but i wish they hated me.#and i don't wish i was gone because i have so much love to give. and i have hopes and dreams and i have a younger self that was so lonely#and i need to help her. and i need to show her that she was wrong for hating life. and i need to show her that she can be loved deeply#and i don't wish none of this happened. because then i never would've met my best friend or my boyfriend. and i never would've started#writing or making art. and i never would've found the same joys. but oh fuck i wish it didn't hurt so much#i run from the grief and it doesn't chase me but sometimes i turn the wrong corner and i am overwhelmed by its intensity#he was so good. he was so good. he was the best. he had so so SO much joy. i wish#...#i wish. i wish#... i wish he had more time. i wish i had more time. i wish i had more agency more strength more more more#everything. i wish i was more. and then i could stop it. and i could stop my best friend hurting. and i could make sure everyone loved me#and i could pass all my exams. and save myself. and save my friends. and save my people. and save the world#but i am only a child. and i can't do any of those things#and i suppose that means my grief comes from a feeling of helplessness. and that will never go away#sigh.
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laytontheories · 2 years
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Lately I've been sitting at home, listening to music so you know what that means:
More songs that remind me of Professor Layton characters:
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Second post
Emiliana Perfetti
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Emiliana has striven for perfection her entire life. She has always been the best in school, she always follows the rules and she has a high ranking job.
But something unexpected happened that could cause her perfect reputation to crumble around her.
She has fallen in love with another girl.
She tries to deny her feelings but they just keep getting stronger.
It also fits that her nickname is Perfect Perfetti. She is literally Little Miss Perfect.
Jean Descole
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After all the suffering Bronev has caused, Descole plans to enact his revenge against him, while his henchmen cheer for him.
Still, deep down there is a part of him who still loves his father.
I'll never forget that you showed me to make art. And I know the love you showed me came from a pure and noble heart.
So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy. My whole life, you were a teacher and friend to me. Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy.
I too have a destiny. This death will be art. The people will speak of this day from near and afar. This event will be history. And I'll be great too. I don't want what you have. I wanna be you.
Clive Dove
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I am not even remotely sorry.
Jokes aside, I actually like this song and it does fit Clive very well.
Ernest Greeves
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When Ernest saw Katrielle for the first time he was literally enchanted.
The way the sun shone off her face, the deep stare she gave him, the fact that she believed in him when no one else did.
It's no wonder he fell in love at first sight.
The voice of the Azran
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This may be hard to explain but I'll do my best.
Ana: Aurora
I'll fake God. I'll fake God today: The Azran became so powerful that they saw themselves as Gods to the golems they created.
Hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay: The Golems rebelled and destroyed the Azran people. The few survivors could only watch.
Being this Godly can't be good for Ana's safety: The Azran becoming too powerful created a domino effect that caused Aurora much pain and suffering.
Oh Ana, oh Ana. I'll be with you still: The voice of the Azran live as a part of Aurora.
You are the angel that I couldn't kill: Since the Azran Legacy is a trap to release the golems, Aurora is technically an angel of death. And she cannot be killed.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your opinion) I started listening to a bunch of Phineas and Ferb songs to reminisce.
And that possibility affected the rest of the songs on this list.
Luke and Future Luke
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Little Luke and Big Luke sing a fun song about how they are best friends because they are the same person.
I'm sure Big Luke won't betray him at all.
The voices don't really fit, but let's say that Luke and Clive are both terrible singers.
Sammy Thunder
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My king.
After a tough breakup, Luke convinces Sammy to rejoin his old band.
After all, they need him. Sammy is the hot one who can play guitar.
Luke and Aurora
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I guess the rumours are true. There really is a Phineas and Ferb song for everything.
Aurora may not be a traditional Egyptian Mummy, but she sure is old.
And Luke is very happy to have her as a friend.
Flora and Augustus Reinhold
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There were many times that Flora hated her father. When he made a cruel imitation of her mother, when he kept her in the tower, when he left her all alone in the world.
But now she's older, Flora realises that he only wanted the best for her. Maybe he was a good dad after all.
Ernest Greeves
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What is Ernest?
S to the I to the M to the P
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Jesper Fahey Imagine
Jesper x female Reader
This is my first imagine ever. So pls don’t be to harsh😅
Also i m not a native English speaker so if I made horrible mistakes pls tell me nicely🙂
+ I m new to the grishaverse so there is a lot I just made up... again If I made horrible mistakes.. enlighten me 🥰
I wanna post this with he/him and they/them pronouns too. Just so nobody feels left out ✨
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The winter air was terrible cold against y/n`s ears. Instinctively, she buried her face further into her scarf. She hated this time of year, especially in ketterdam. Because of the docks and the sea, it was even colder here than in her former home. She came to Ketterdam years ago, but she still didn’t seem to have gotten used to the city. The city with its dark alleys and dangerous corners. She had been told to get a decent job. Never be Outside in the dark. And above all she should Stay Out of the criminal gangs and their streetfights. And yet here she was, running again in the direction of the Crow Club to meet dirtyhands in person.
After the heavy oak door closed behind her, she took a deep breath. The warm air felt wonderful on her skin. There wasn't too much going on in the club tonight. Which pleased her very much.
" well who do we have here? I was afraid that you wouldn't come because of the snowstorm out there. ”Jesper's voice sounded happily through the room. In his hand he was holding a drink that he halfway spilled on his way to her.
Y / N didn't want to admit it, but she was happy to see him. Most of all, she was pleased that he was already a Bit drunk, so she hoped he wouldn't notice how she blushed while he hugged her.
Together they went to a table in a quieter corner of the crow club. Kaz Brekker sat there with his crowcane in his hand and sighed as Y/N and Jesper approached. Shortly afterwards she noticed Inej emerging from the shadows. She quietly sat down next to Kaz, keeping a safe distance as always. Y / N wasn't sure if she was doing it to give Kaz more space or to better protect herself. Y/N sat down next to Nina who was sitting on the other side of the table and apparently had a lot of fun giving a already drunken Mattias more and more alcohol.
Jesper sat down next to Y/N with a loud noise and started talking about his win today. He had lost a lot of money in a few card games and then won the Same Money back again after a round of chess. Inej had to explain the rules to him beforehand and was shocked that he really didn't understand how the game worked. His only luck was that his opponent understood it even less and so he had defeated him after a few rounds despite his moderate knowledge of chess.
Y/N was happy to have this group. For her, it almost felt like she had a found family, a home. The others also appreciated her very much. Nina was glad that there was another Grisha in the group. She loved challenging Y/N to play pranks on the other crow members. Even if the others wouldn't admit it, everyone loved the jokes they made up. Only Kaz usually looked offended when the two kept his people from their serious work.
She had also built up a good relationship with Inej in the two years that she had been part of the crows. Both were rather calm and liked to spend time alone. But they loved to talk about novels and books together. Inej and her had already broken into the library of Ketterdam several times at night to be able to read there in peace. Y / N fondly remembers those evenings. Especially Brekker's red-hot face when he found out what they had done. He was incredibly angry and didn't even let them be on the next mission. Meanwhile, Jesper just stood there, amused. Although he was disappointed in both of them too. But more because they didn't ask him to come along. Inej had smirked at the time and said that he was probably jealous. And to this day Y/N kept thinking about it. She could hardly imagine that he wanted to tag along because of the books.
"Hey are you even listening to me"
Jesper moved his hand up and down in front of her face.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Y / N knew this wasn't the first time he'd caught her thinking about him. She reached for the glass that Nina had put in front of her nose a few minutes ago. Hopefully that would take his mind off the nervous expression on her face.
"I thought it would be incredible if I would open a bakery with the money. You know the Money i won earlier"
Y/N looked deeper into her glass. In fact, she hadn't noticed what he'd told her. "Hmm interesting. I uh... would not have thought you were the bakery type. "
"Why not?" Jesper started to grin in amusement. Now he was glad that she was just so embarrassed and looking down. She was indeed looking really cute, while trying to come up with a logical answer that hopefully wouldn't hurt his feelings.
“Well you've shot at least 5 people in the last two days. And uh ... "
Jesper had to laugh out loud. "Hey hey little one, I was just kidding. I was Joking... Something like that happens when you don't listen. ”There was a big grin on his face. It felt like it went from one ear to the other. His dark eyes began to glow. Y/N didn't even notice how long the two had been staring at each other. Jesper looked away with a jerk and began to stammer something to himself, “I actually wanted to ask you something. Are we both going to break into that one library tomorrow night? I heard about this one book. And well we could steal it together. "
Y/N just had to grin. Maybe Inej was right after all and Jesper wanted to spend time with her.
"Sure, why not ... but you know that this is illegal?"
"It's only illegal if we get caught"
The next evening they both met below the roofs of Ketterdam's university district. Jesper's hair was disheveled, probably because he had slept until a few minutes ago. The night before had stolen both of their strength. None of them could really remember much. Once again, Nina had endured the most alcohol, but probably only because she was the one who made the others drink. Inej had gone to bed relatively early and in the early morning twilight still heard the singing voices of Matthias and Jesper. Y / N could roughly remember participating in a drinking game. And somehow she thought she had seen a smiling Kaz, but that would be too improbable.
It wasn't quite as cold as the night before, but because of the tiredness Y / N was all the more cold that day. Jesper didn't seem to have any other way. He had wrapped himself deep in his coat and was wearing a much too long scarf around his neck that he had stepped on twice while running. It was unusual for the shooter to be so calm. Most of the time he would talk out loud about his achievements in playing cards or he would consider a daring mission to get rich. He was very talkative, only today he was speechless.
Getting to the library was very easy there was a secured part in the south wing. Valuable writings from Kerch were stored there. But the two were only looking for a novel that would be insignificant for most People. It didn't take long for the two of them to get into the building over the roof of an adjoining building and through its courtyard.
Y / N knew her way around the library halls; after all, she had often come and gone there at night. Jesper ran right behind her, afraid of losing her between the tall bookshelves. It didn't take long for Jesper to find the right book. It was about tales and horror stories that used to be told to children in front of the campfire. Jesper had overheard Inej talking about this book. She had shared how she loved these stories as a child. That seemed like the right book for the right reason
y / n to dare a night break-in. He had longed to spend time alone with her for a long time. He admired her for her courage and caring. Jesper had been alone for a long time. Far from everything that felt like family. But the Crows gave him a home. Kaz was the protector of the crows and Jesper was happy to have someone like him, but somehow the warmth in the crow club was missing. But the warmth was suddenly there when the young grisha girl ran into his arms two years ago. She has been on his mind ever since. How many times had he caught himself paying special attention to her on missions. Or the many times she was turned on by drunkards and he would have loved to draw his revolver. Even now he could only think of her smile.
She had spread her coat on the floor and was tapping the spot next to her. Jesper sat down next to her, grinning, and began to read.
The warm sun shone on Y / N's face. What a nice way to be awakened. Most of the time she woke up by hearing gunshots in the street or the loud talk of seafarers stumbling towards the port. It smelled of old books, dust and leather. Only now did she realize that she was not in her bed. She opened her eyes carefully, hoping not to wake up in a prison or a cargo ship. But her surroundings were not unknown to her, only she had never seen them in this light. Next to her lay Jesper who had embraced her with both arms. She had never seen him so calm before. His chest moved slowly up and down as he breathed. How beautiful he looked.
"You should hire someone to make a portrait of me, believe me that will last longer."
Jesper's eyes were still closed. Y / N's face turned red again. She had to stop looking at him like that.
"Good morning, how did you sleep between so much Important literature?" She tried to distract from the subject.
Jesper opened his eyes and looked at her. Only now did she realize how close they were. He still had his arms around her. Jesper also noticed now what kind of situation they were in. He opened his mouth to answer when Y / N suddenly perceived voices from outside. She put her finger to his lips and turned her head towards the window. There were three library guards in the courtyard. They had just noticed the open window through which Jesper and Y/N had entered the building the night before.
Without thinking further, both started running. If they hurried they could still get outside via the west entrance before the university square is full of students.
Luckily for them it was easy to run through the great hall into the foyer, Jesper tried hard not to pull out his revolver to get them out of the situation, but Y/n insisted that they could flee without getting noticed. But it was too late, the guards had already spotted them. Jesper took Y/N by the hand and the two ran laughing like two school girls through the corridors until they could escape over the balcony of the west wing.
They laughed and hugged. "Oh Jesper that was close"
"Yes, If i had not been there, you would have never made it out of there"
"If you hadn't been there I would have never fallen asleep in there"
"That's right, but then I would never have been able to do this either."
He leaned over to her and looked at her with an asking expression. For a moment he was afraid of having lost his self-confidence. He wondered if he had misinterpreted anything. All the times she looked at him with a blushing face and glowing eyes. Maybe he was just wrong ...
But He couldn't think clearly anymore because he had already been interrupted by Y / N's lips. At that moment they both forgot everything around them. The dirty city, the cold winter air and the screams of the guards who were still looking for them.
Fuck, I think that's how it feels at home.
Thx for reading this😅 if you liked it pls write a comment. Just so i know if i should continue writing or not✨ if somebody has a request for an imagine just comment it or text me in my direct messages 🥰💗
Mai 🦋
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blackthorn02 · 3 years
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Love for a traitor-Aizen Sōsuke🔥 (Bleach imagine)
Can contain some spoilers :)
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(Y/n) was warmly welcomed by everyone in the soul city and was invited to eat by Matsumoto andHhitsugaya to talk about her time in the human world. but the one person who was most important to her was nowhere to be seen, which somehow made her sad. so after the meeting (Y/n) decided to go to Aizen and check on him. it was already very dark and late when she made her way to commander Aizen. the moonlight shone her way and the stars glittered above her like crystals in the sunlight. When she arrived in front of Aizen's room, she knocked softly on the door. "Come in!" Sosuke Aizen had a deep, warm voice, which made her feel very safe. yes (Y/n) had missed him. every moment away from him ached terribly. she opened the door and entered. Aizen sat at a small table with his back to her and brushed sigils on a parchment in front of him. his hair was slightly disheveled and a blanket hung around his broad shoulders. The room was lit by a warm light that seemed to shine deep into the soul and when (Y/n) said nothing Aizen turned and looked at her in surprise. apparently he hadn't really counted on her. "(Y/n)! what a surprise. i didn't even know that you were back. otherwise i would have come to greet you of course!", beamed Aizen. (Y/n) looked into his happy and joyful face and smiled at him: "Oh, that doesn't matter. I'm sorry if I disturb you! So you're still excited about calligraphy as I see!" Aizen laughed and came up to her. he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She sank into his chest. Aizen was two heads taller than her and towered over her. she inhaled his scent and buried her face in his kimono. Aizen smiled lovingly at her and kissed her parting: "I missed you too, sweetheart." (Y/n) backed away a little from him and Aizen put his finger under her chin,raised her head so that their eyes met. god he could sink in her eyes. they hypnotized him and dragged him into strange worlds. Both looked at each other for a long time and tried to memorize every facial expression of their counterpart. They came closer and closer and finally they closed the last gap that separated them from each other with a long kiss full of lust and desire. all of the feelings that had been saved and suppressed in recent months fell away from them. Aizen pulled her onto the futon spread out in the room and hugged her, still kissing. he gently stroked her back and kissed her forehead over her nose to her clavicle. (Y/n) squirmed under him and pocked him softly against his cheek. Aizen grinned. she loved his grin. she stroked his brown, soft curls from his face and took off his glasses. then (Y/n) gently buried her hands in his velvety soft hair and massaged his scalp. Aizen leaned in to her touch. he enjoyed every second of her touch. he craved her touch. together they spent a sweet night.
(Y/n) wakes up when the sun shines softly on
her face. (Y/n) felt next to her, but the futon next to her was empty. "good morning sweetheart!", sang Aizen with his raspy morning voice that drove her totally crazy. he was just about to tie his kimono and put on his katana. (Y/n) giggled and got up to hug him from behind. she really missed such mornings. "You should hurry though. Your subordinates are already waiting for you. A commander shouldn't keep anyone waiting", joked (Y/n) and began to dress herself.
that was two days ago now. Because something happened today that brought her world to a standstill. Matsumoto came to (Y/n)‘s office totally excited and out of breath. her face twisted into a terrifying grimace, out of pain, fear and confusion. matsumoto looked at her: "Commander (Y/n). You should better sit down. Something terrible has happened. Commander Aizen has been murdered. We do not know yet who the perpetrator is. It could have been someone from the humans or someone from the Shinigami. I'm really sorry (Y/n)! " (Y/n) listened to her. she couldn't believe it, it felt like she was falling deep down. everything around her seemed to be running in slow motion and the voices of all those who were comforting her blurred into one another to an indefinable babble of voices. her heart ached as if it was torn apart in thousand pieces. he was dead. Aizen was dead. a commander was murdered-impossible. days passed and (Y/n) tried to get over it. She had to find the murderer. and yet she couldn't believe ichigo and her other friends had anything to do with it. in addition, the day of rukia's execution came ever closer.
unfortunately, that ominous day had come today. (Y/n) did not want to watch her friend be executed, but she had to be present as the commander, she was very relieved and happy when ichigo saved rukia, but this initial happiness did not last long. suddenly there seemed to be tremendous spiritual pressure on them all. but wait - (Y/n) knew this too well. but that couldn't be - Aizen was dead. Or wasn't he? suddenly Gin and Aizen appeared who grabbed rukia in a fraction of a second and took the Hogyoku that was hidden in her soul. apparently Aizen had only faked his death to take soul city in and was even ready to go over dead bodies. "Sosuke Aizen" (Y/n) roared and he seemed to have noticed her at last. however, his eyes were cold and no longer sparkled from the former warmth. "ahh (Y/n) -you don't seem to have coped well with my death. but believe me, this is all for a higher purpose! i will take the place of god and rule over everything. the time of the shinigami ends here and today!", shouted Aizen and laughed evil. (Y/n) couldn't believe what was happening in front of her eyes. "I trusted you, Sosuke! where you ever going to tell me, what your plan was? Did it ever occur to you that you are hurting me too?", trembled (Y/n).
"To achieve great things you have to make sacrifices, whether you are rushing or not! There are no heroes and no villains in this story, we are all in between. You know they are going to use the things you love against you! Come with me and rule at my side! fight with me for a new world in which we are together. ", exclaimend Aizen and looked at her expectantly. Was he being serious ?! there was nothing left of the Aizen she knew. "You said you would always be there for me- so how did this happen? You manipulated me, just like everyone else you called your friends, and used us for your purposes. There is no us-i think there never was. ", (Y/n) wispered angrily. Aizen looked at her incredulously and she could see the pain on his face. he approached her desperately: "I could never hurt you and I could not have manipulated you. You were the only one that I have never manipulated. I have never doubted my love for you and yet you do it. Come with me. I love you sincerely. everything i said and promised i was serious. come with me and be by my side! ". (Y/n) looked down and laughed desperately - he was serious: "You broke me and now you expect me to follow you on the battlefield ?! But you are walking a path were i can't follow you! You are not the Sosuke Aizen I knew - maybe you never were! "tears ran down her face and Aizen couldn't wait any longer, he had to go before the portal closed. he left his love behind. (Y/n) no longer trusted him, maybe even hated him. (Y/n)collapsed crying. Matsumoto ran to her and hugged her, "shshs! everything will be fine, no fear. but what are you going to do now?". (Y/n) wiped the tears from her face and pulled herself together. yes, what would she do now? Aizen was a traitor. highly dangerous and not afraid to go over dead bodies. "I loved him and now i am going to kill him. this is the only way to protect my friends!", muttered (y / n).
Thanks for reading🧡Feel free to reblog💕
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