#but i dont want it personally. but the way i think abt things Personally isnt always the same as the way i think abt it in General

[losergendered]

listen im antirq but i kind of feel like a lot of the antirq community is not interested in the root reasons that people join these communities or in any sort of understanding or rehabilitation. it kind of seems like yall just wanna mock people. screenshotting people talking about how they wanna “transition to be transraped/transkidnapped” and going “whoaaaa what the fuck 😨” literally just alienates people struggling with intrusive thoughts/selfharm urges. and it makes it more likely that people who experience these things are gonna align themselves with rqs because they think that everyone else finds them gross or weird. honestly (and no one jump down my throat or misinterpret what im saying ffs think) i find transharmful/transharmed to be one of the most *understandable* parts of the rq community. misguided and ultimately harmful, yes, but understandable.

because of my npd, low empathy, and intrusive thoughts, i do often think of myself as a neutrally bad person. in my head, im an immoral person cosplaying as well-adjusted, and while, for the most part, thats the personality disorder talking, its often hard for me to divorce that way of thinking from my actual Self, because, uh, i live in my head. so i can see how seeing something like transabuser or transshooter might be a way for someone to try and wrestle with that kind of internal struggle (granted, a way that’ll most likely make that struggle worse but i digress). and im sure i dont have to explain why someone wishing they had certain forms of trauma isnt a spectacle and is rather, in itself, indicative of mental health struggles that aren’t to be mocked.

it’s just frustrating to see people i largely agree with doing nothing but look down their nose at people. dangerous and bigoted communities are not owed overly tender pussyfooting or whatever but like also its crazy to screenshot 15 year olds just to tongue wag. harm reduction starts with understanding and parading around (mostly teenagers) who are coping poorly is literally just gonna push them further into whatever community theyre in. like ffs just ignore them. especially if youre an adult. thats why i never talk abt this discourse on here. it doesnt fucking help if youre just gonna be an overly righteous asshole.

last time i made a post like this i got a whole buncha rqs in my notes telling me to “stop talking down to them” and that they’ll “do what they want.” okay man. im not your dad. this post isnt even aimed at yall anyway

tldr making a spectacle out of and constantly performing bewilderment at rqs literally only makes the issue worse and alienates those who experience unconventional mental problems. ex. me. cool thanks

#ask to tag #anti radqueer #and let me make myself clear i am ANTI radqueer #just because i understand how someone thinks a certain way doesnt mean i support it or think that its ok. dont be purposefully obtuse #feel free to tell me im a jerk or condescending or to kms or whatever as i said before #that shit feeds my ego. kisses

[gecemi09]

can't believe there are ppl who don't like lost days wtf. not even the end scene, they just don't like jason's character and motivations in it. i mean, i always thought lost days jason>utrh jason so 🤷‍♀️

#“i didnt like making jason want to kill bruce its so generic” “ my brother in christ it is obvious as hell that jason only tries it because #also he clearly doesnt actually want bruce dead?? like he doesnt do it when he has the perfect chance #and he is obvsly lying to talia when he says “oh i want him to look at me as i kill him” like?? #am i the only one who thought that or??? #btw this isnt abt a specific person i just remembered someone on reddit saying that lost days jason made jason more #sympathetic in a fanservice way #i get what they mean by that but i rlly dont think thats whats up w lost days jason #bc whitewashing morally grey characters to make them appeal to a larger audience IS. a thing but i think youre missing the point here lol #anyway can't articulate why i ADORE lost days atm so #maybe ill make a seperate post on it one day but just know that i rlly like it(except the scene we dont talk about) #jason todd #lost days #red hood

[scamoosh]

this is gonna sound whiny but nonbinary ppl can immediately tell when u just see them as their agab jsyk👍 its just frustrating 2 b surrounded by other queer ppl and even in those communities without fail if i make any comment abt period cramps or having worked in childcare or shit like that theres an Immediate shift to like oh okay ur actually a Girl got it . like . there was anothr nonbinary person i used 2 kno who had zero problem using the right pronouns for me until they heard how high my voice was on a call once ☠️

#this isnt targeted its just a vent #idk its just annoying. like i can get away w painting my nails but i feel like thats bc #its trendy in niche communities now for cis boys to do it #and i hate feeling like my masculinity is constantly being stacked next to like . the pillars of cis man and cis woman #like . idk im probably not articulating this v well #like . especially as somebody who thinks of themselves as transmasc but doesnt want top surgery its annoying bc that alone #means i lose legitimacy 2 some of the queer ppl i try 2 talk 2 abt gender stuff with #and beyond that #the stupidass responses ive gotten to telling ppl i dont ever rlly plan on coming out to my family #like girl.... i cannot be the first person uve met who doesnt have a safe or comfortable environment to be transgender jn???? #and beyond that i dont think its that big a deal that i dont ever come out like . officially #the ppl i care abt know and they see me the way i want so thats enough for me #but in like . largely lgbt online spaces thats where it gets frustrating #like we r supposed 2 b beyond defining gender solely on stereotypes and tit size #tw transphobia #like not rlly but jic it makes anybody uncomfy #thank u that is all #SORRY FOR BEIN CRANKY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING 😵😵 love and light etc #its not like a huge deal either its just smth that gets frustrating specifically in spaces full of ppl that u have some expectations #of understanding from #sorry if this is like complete nonsense LOL

[stamplerfag]

im gonna answer the other ask later but TRANSFEM SCARY I WAS. ALSO THINKING HBBBGNN

#willy goes both ways abt such things bcus. one he is a misogynist and a homophobe or at least was on earth. obviously #and he still holds you know that. hypermasculine toxic mindset as of s1 based on the uhhh #“overly feminine namby pamby” whatever he says #(kicking myself for not having it memorized) #but i assume that he encountered more variable things in the forgotten realms that may have made him more normal abt. gender variance there #god okay i. hes not. he has an opinion of “you can be a freak if you want whatever. ill play pretend with you. ill tolerate it.” #i really like transmasc ron for similar reasons.. of.... especially when they meet in the cabin where hes cooking fish #and willys like “thats right get some bass in your voice boy !!” #like i know its just regular like. ron isnt masculine enough. but it reads very sarcastic.... #“get some bass in your voice” like . you wanna be a boy so bad okay. ill humor you. hahahah. man up then. #um but transfem scary i like a similar. thing. of.... tolerating her being a girl and playing along but always being. #kind of chiding about it. #im so worried were not on the same pagw #which is fine obviously but i get so shy abt when. someone offers me headcanons that i dont agree with and i have to be like #“hahaha yeah whatever you say” like i cant say anything back cus its Wrong to me. BUT. #god though yeah her. visibly being hard around him & its both deeply sort of gross but very flattering to him like. i can work with this... #i think of him as a. opportunist. hes not into cock & not into kids really. dwindling upwards of teen girls but eh. #so when a cute troubled teen girl is literally. offering herself up to you at your feet man its like. why would i say no !! ♡ #hes more into taking advantage of her than any of her personal details you know. like her as a person doesnt really. matter. who cares #shes available and stupid and looking to him for advice and validation. #sorry again i havent LISTENED TO ANY OF THIS. I CAN BE WRONG #didnt anthony make the joke abt willy not being brave enough to try pegging. maybe this is his chance #who said that. who. said that #you really want to manipulate a teen girl then you humble yourself and suck her cock and shes yours forever. #im crazy. im crazy #.dxt #scary

[bunnihearted]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[vaugarde]

books that changed my brain chemistry at age 9. tbh.

#the animal povs the magic povs the haunting nature of it the way both povs weave together perfectly in the end #despite feeling so different #i still think about the hummingbird :( #this book isnt really. that related to what im about to say. but i was thinking abt the part where night song and hawk man have their baby #and the prose when hawk man holds his daughter and feeling like his entire worldview was shifting and expanding beyond his comprehension #and it was all centered on his baby and his love for her and augh. i think that passage specifically affected me profoundly #and i dont even want kids. i think its why i like writing parent characters #i should reread this.... #echoed voice #wait i forgot to say the thing i wanted to say. i was gonna say that prose is seeping into how i write flamberge and valerie #bc flamberge is like. a terrible person dont get me wrong theyre not a good person. and valerie wouldnt have totally fixed them #but flamberge's entire world shifts when they have their daughter. like they didnt think they were capable of caring for someone that much #but knowing someone as kind as valerie- someone they put in the world and wouldnt exist without them- changes them #they end up loving like they never felt they could before and its like a big step for them for becoming a better person

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ever sit like a corpse in your own body? #im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we #deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to #give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway. #who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in #the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when #projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing #dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will #ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do #something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r #stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even #then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a #broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what? #lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything #done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i #think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with #thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno #whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is #hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse #but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday #unrelated

[goethitee]

i think im gonna quit my job. i rlly dont think i can do this anymore. it is just so exhausting my body is falling apart i am in so much pain all the time. & it is so thankless too. i mean, thats not always true. i have clients that love me & i truly care about them & their dogs, but theres just - so many assholes. & ik thats everywhere. i get it. but i put in so much work for what? & something that i actually said to my bsf the other day - i could deal with my body falling apart if the pay was good. but it isnt!! & there isnt truly anyway for it to get better!! it was never my dream job to begin with, but i could stick with it, but i really think it is time for me to leave now, before too long & theres even more pressure for me to stay. i just cant do it anymore.

#God. i dont even know how to go about quitting tho #like two weeks isnt enough notice because im booked out for months. i have my own clientele that need somebody to take care of them #& there currently isnt any one else to do so #& if i told my boss i was thinking abt leaving im pretty sure she would flip out & kick me out on the spot #she would hate me. but i just truly cant keep going like this #im too tired & in too much pain to do anything. & i dont even have any time to do anything. or money. #another thing is - maybe this wouldnt be now if my boss would let us turn ppl away #but instead i get dogs where im literally like risking my life or a limb #& again for what? so someones dog can get a bath? #also im turning into such a negative & nasty person. i try not to be but i really am. i dont want to be. i want to be how i used to. #i cant sit or lay down without being in pain #n e ways … just needed to get this out b4 i try to talk to the ppl in my life abt it & they freak out on me

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

#rat rambles #starve posting #maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person #and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer #but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him #and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption' #like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person #like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me #like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person #it just made him a more miserable person #and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development #and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity #I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out #but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that #shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened #its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff #mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it #which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards #which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion #this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control #and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt #its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation #and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation #and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope) #the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked #I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet #her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell #so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head #I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk

[slaythespire]

GUARDS!!!! hes posting abt it again

#anyway actually one of the worst parts of being broken up with in such a cruel way is that it feels like i wasted my one chance at having #someone in my life like that #and it wasnt even my fault! wow #who am i kidding its not even worth dating anyone again i dont think #nobody besides that one person has ever been interested in me anyway #sorry if i dont post abt my feelings i die #i just wish i was overrrrr itttt uuuuhg #actually its so fucked up that if his linkedin isnt lying he had a job for 2 years while we were dating that he just never told me abt once #i should have known i just wasnt an important part of his life no matter how many times he tried to say i was and that he loved me with all #the things he just didnt share with me #like getting his license and shit just nothing had to find out other ways #whateverrrrr whateverrrrrr #its always the ppl who cry abt how 'they arent treating you right' 'it hurts me that im hurting you and im sorry' who actually just want #ur feelings to be all about them

[dandyshucks]

i think im just gonna delete their reply and maybe block them dhdkdl it is entirely possible (and likely) they just have no idea this guy's incredibly racist because UNFORTUNATELY white ppl have taken this spirit from Algonquian culture and twisted it and now everyone only knows of it as a """cryptid""" unless they're like... active in indigenous spaces or spaces where ppl actively care about racism fhdkdl, but I just don't really feel like trying to carefully word things to educate a random 19 yr old this morning bc i have a headache and now my nervous system is all fucked up fjfkldl

#im not ... angry w them. potentially i am upset w them but more likely im just upset in general at the situation #i dont want to be angry at someone who simply just doesnt know #ignorance isnt always malicious fhfkdl often it is just ... not being aware bc u haven't been in the right spaces to become aware. #which is a whole other issue but moreso an issue w society rather than on an individual level. maybe. idk #my head hurts and i feel very nauseous but bottom line im not blaming this random basically-still-a-teenager for their blunder here #mostly im just worried now that ppl are gonna think from my last post that im like ''oh this stranger is an awful person'' #nah man. theyre freshly out of highschool i assume and probably have no fucking clue abt the racism of this white man of the month #this is... unfortunately just the way things go #i think sometimes im too patient and kind to ppl but fjdkdl I'd much rather be that than the opposite #anyways im gonna skedaddle outta here before i stick my foot in my mouth any more than i potentially already have djdkdl #this was just an unpleasant thing to open up tumblr to fjfkdl big ol sigh but alas and alack we must move on from it #vent //

[nomaishuttle]

i am just a small dog girlie and they are my best friends. i love them sm

#I LOVE LARGE DOGS AN EQUAL AMOUNT TO BE QUITE HONEST.. but i feel thats not super unpopular so i talk abt small dogs more #bc i need them 2 know I am with them when other ppl call them ugly or yappy or annoying #or aggressive i hate it when ppl label small dogs as aggressive when its like. Thats bc ppl dont train their dogs #and the dogs are very territorial andanxious and untrained #bc its 'funny'when a small dog is stressed out. eff etc my lecrure i do everytime i start thinkin bout dogs #but yss.. i fr just love dogs #ABD CATS I LOVE CATS TOO!!! i dont believe in the dichotomy i think theyre both good animals. and good for different ppl #abd its finr to have preferences but i hatee the whole like EWWWW CAT OWNER CAT MEAN SND EVIL!! and EWEW DOG OWNER DOG LOUD SND SNNOYING #like ok. whatever dude. what if we just loved our animals. and took care of them. yk. what if the world was made of pudding #and we all were like I personally wouldnt want to have a cat but i think its nice that you have one and that that makes you happy :] yk... #isnt there enough HATE and VIOLENCE in this world!!! #sry guys im waiting for my headphones to charge for my beddybye time so im just talkin. yk how it is #but yas. i love small dogs i love large dogs i get certain critiques for each.. and im glad that ppl are able to say I wouldnt be able to #live with or properly take care of this type of dog. i think thats a good thing #i just wish ppl wouldnt like. blame the dog. for being a dog #yk . idk.. they r our friends guys.. #ik irs like. Overly sensitive but seeing ppl call dogs stupid or ugly makes me so sad sometimes #bc like they fr cannot help it whatsoever. we literally bred them to look these ways #i think its fine to be like This dog is sort of silly looking bc i do that. some dogs just are very silly looking #but idk.. no need 2 be hateful. they r all gods creatures Grins.. #but anywaysbyas sry j rambled. i talk more abt small dogs even tho i love all dogs mainly bc ot THE HATERS! and also bc well famously my #favourite dog breed is the quintessential small dog. EL WAWA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[girl-bateman]

Reading my great aunts annotations and underlined words and finding her shopping-list bookmark stuck between the pages of books, I feel closer to her than I ever did and I wish we had talked more when she was alive but all I can hope for now is that she's happy that someone's reading her favourite books and thinking about her. I would be.

#i remember her to be kind of.. self involved isnt the right word but i could just get the sense that she wasent very interested #in things that didnt concern herself or art #and now that i think abt it neither am i and maybe thats the reason we never rly talked properly #and thats propbably also why she liked my mother bc my mother is the opposite of that and rly caters to that type of personality #she was an artist who lived alone most her life and tbh in alot of ways she represents what i want for myself in life #independence and creative freedom and exploration etc etc #my strongest memory of her is when she wished me a happy 16 birthday when i turned 18 #and thats totally something i would do too so i dont even blame her but just bc were very similar doesn't mean we would be compatible #we probably wouldnt but i would have still liked to know her better when she was alive #instead of piecing her together as a reconstruction from items left behind in the house she inherited to us #personal

[guideaus]

Idk how many people following me ever watched steven universe, but there's this character, rose quartz, who is like hailed in universe as like, The savior of the earth. the a million eps pass, yadda yadda, and it's eventually revealed she is actually pink diamond, a character that was one of the main antagonists, these space, dictator alien goddesses.

This was a plot twist sort of reveal and basically like some backwards redemption arc, but the fandom did NOT like that at all. The cartoon showed it like "actually, this character everyone thought the world of did do bad things and was flawed." playing into a theme in the show of it being ok to not be perfect, and anyways the fandom hated her for that. That said, the fandom is notorious for being stupid (or just young I guess??), but they all saw it as she's now the villain and evil. Anyways, that fandom 180° reaction shouldve been what happened w mustang

#personal #not them interpreting the character in a black and white way but just changing their mind abt him lol #but as i said its bc mustang is presented favorably #its seen as tragic that HE had to experience these things and he'll bring those who told him to to justice!! #(a critcism i also had abt trigun) #i think the su fandom just didnt get it w rq/pd bc theyre stupid tbh lol #idk if i can bring up bc shes not an anime man but maybe the backwards redemption arc was too much for them... in a cartoon #i think the military isnt as heavily scrutinized in fma but also thru ed #who doesnt want to align himself w them but refuses to sympathize w scar/is combativie w miles #so i dont think u can rlly say arakawa criticizes any of that enough

[lttleghost]

me: I do think it's especially not great that transmasc Jesse overshadows egg Jesse since transmasc Jesse is not as canon compatible-

some dumbasses: OH DO YOU THINK TRANS MEN CAN'T HAVE COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS WITH MASCULINITY? DO YOU NOT THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY HARMS TRANSMASCS? DO YOU JUST HATE TRANSMASC PPL?

me: not what I fucking said

#i care about the issue that underlies this outside of Jesse he is the obly thing i feel qualified to talk abt tho #like saying a headcanon isnt as compatible with canon shouldn't be a threat #the automatic assumption kills me #especially cause its often from people who are like... they just dont want anyone to see their tboy swag icon as anything but transmasc #as if ur like... hurting them for this instead of pointing out shitty trends in fandom #oh the reasons are that any headcanon that requires Jesse to already be transitioned #brings up questions abt some characters who woulve known him before and would DEFINITELY be transphobic #also without scene alterations or added things like where does Jesse reclaim manhood/masculinity in any significant way? #this might be me personally but like #i only see him seperating from it and it hurting him #WHERES THE TRANS JOY? #and also therfore how would it be an active part of his character instead of like... something you added on #AGAIN only for a direct reading of the text #cause while i propsed added scenes in my egg Jesse reading theyre not needed really #cause it parallels his existing struggles #but I cant see where without something added that has Jesse actually like.... reclaim masculinity #transmasc Jesse isnt just an accessory #again i do not think the headcanon should be erased b/c while the fandom has made me hate it it still has value #espec if you like change canon to adress the conflicts brought up #but like... its not gonna hurt you to admit egg Jesse is a more accurate reading #you dont have to even like it more but like... dont bend over backward to deny it #meat.txt #this is my girlfriend dont touch him

[a-passing-storm]

So about my fic that I posted (very scary). It’s a Matrix fic, and it’s got an aro character, and I am like... so very surprised that it is the first Matrix fic to have the “Aromantic” tag on AO3. Like, I was expecting 10. Or so. I know 10 still isn’t a lot, but I was expecting more than 0. I’m actually very surprised. 

#bc i am shameless i shall add that it's called A Simulacra of Sound if anyone is interested #but like truly i... i know there isnt a lot of aro fic but i 1) overestimated the size of the matrix fandom--tbh im glad its not that big-- #2) simply overestimated the frequency of aro fics being written #and yeah ikik if you want to see it you should write it. but i dont like reading my writing at all. #its not that i dont like it--i really like my writing--its just that i read it so many times that its meaningless #i dont get to be like 'omg cool wordplay' or 'ooh neat rhythm' or 'what a neat way to characterize that' im just like reading Sounds #its like listening to things backwards #matrix #aromantic #yeah #idk its weird bc i dont really want to write fic w/ an audience in mind bc its something i do for fun and i dont want to #fall back into the habit of writing for other people or what i think other people want to read #but man someone's gotta make more aro fanfic lol #also like ik a lot of aros hate the 'a robot it must be aro' thing but also like #if youre gonna think abt the sexuality of a program designed to like destroy humans #is it really more plausible that it wants some sweet sweet romance with the person it's trying to kill #like thats a part of why it is very surprising to me that no other aro matrix fics have been posted to ao3 #anyway im not that like... bummed abt it rn so much as just like 'wow thats wild' #ugh i should go write my very existential common app essay #dante dicit