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dabibebee · 5 months

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Hi there dear readers… this story will take place after the war between the heroes and the villains, let’s say the todoroki family forgave touya and he forgave them too that includes the families of the victims he killed so it’s time to get himself a bride and that bride is none other than you ;)

P.s: he’s still scarred like before, Eri rewinded him to the state before he got those awful burns on him… Also forgive my grammar and punctuations I’m not an English speaker lol. Anyhow enjoy my very first tumblr blog lol

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“You’re finally a normal human being touya, don’t let your past affect you, I’m sure you’ll find the perfect girl.” Said Fuyumi messaging touya’s shoulders “ actually I have someone I’d like to be with but I’m not sure she’ll accept me.” Said touya rubbing his neck “nonesense” said fuyumi pinching his cheeks then spent the rest of the day telling him about what he missed in the family.

As for you

You were taking care of your niece while thinking of what you’ve done weeks before the war started and you still find it embarrassing “come on y/n it’s not like he’s alive with all the burns he obtained on himself.” Said your best friend through the phone. “Tsk tsk, don’t say that I know he’s alive, gotta go.” You said hanging up the phone to recall what happened since the little rascal is sound asleep.

Flash back

You were walking through the crowds in the city in the cold winter night trying to find Christmas gifts for your family when you noticed a patched up guy sitting on the bench in the park and looking at the snowy sky above, he looked lonely and the people around him are kind of avoiding making any contact with the man because they’re aware of who he is. “He’s so cute in person.” You thought walking to the man. You ended up standing between his parted legs “even if you have a fire quirk, sitting here in the cold is bad for you mister dabi.” You said cupping his cheeks with your warm hands “what do you suggest? Doll.” Said dabi enjoying the comfortable contact of your hands on his healthy and unhealthy skin. “How about a delicious hot chocolate, my treat.” You said rubbing his staples. “ mmmm I’d rather get a kiss.” Said Dabi smirking at your flushed face “ a kiss it is.” You said before crashing your lips on his warm ones…. You guys kissed for a long while to the point of you falling into his lap without noticing at all and when the kiss broke you were both blushing hard. “Fuck I’m rock hard now.” Said dabi carrying you to the nearest dark alleyway. He quickly let go of you. “Turn around, hands on the wall.” Said dabi fiddling with his belt. You did as he told you then all of a sudden you heard him unbuckle his belt. “W-what are you doing?” You asked trying to turn around but he turned your face back to the wall. “Nothing that will ruin your life, don’t worry.” Said dabi pumping his fat dick then he lifted your short frilly skirt and placed his length inside your panties and not inside your pussy. “ oh God!” Said dabi thrusting at a slow pace. “Ahh.” You moaned and held the wall with all your might when he picked up the pace. “ you’re godsend to me doll.” Said Dabi removing your scarf so he could give your cream like neck some hickeys. You looked down and saw the massive cock between your legs and his heavy balls making contact with your butt cheeks… in no time a thick white rope of his essence coated your panties and dripped down your legs. “Ahhh that was hella good, thanks doll.” Said dabi pulling away from you then sheathed his member in his boxers and pulled up his pants then turned you around. “ I could’ve gotten you pregnant but you’ll have to wait some other time, here’s my contact information.” Said dabi giving you a piece of paper then kissed your cheek and walked away.

You opened the paper and saw his phone number so you hid it in your pocket and adjusted your sticky panties then walked back to your apartment. Blushing constantly when you remember the last thing he told you.

End of flashback

Since then you didn’t dare contact him because you know he’s so busy with the league and the PLF so you didn’t wanna add to his problems “ I gotta sleep or I’m doomed tomorrow.” You said pulling up the blanket to your body.

The next day you had to meet up with fuyumi to discuss some things related to the upcoming exams next week and she told you she’s bringing up her older brother with her, you’ve waited for thirty minutes at the college’s campus until a red car pulled up and parked not too far from you. It was fuyumi. She left the car with her big brother and you couldn’t believe yourself, the guy besides her was none other than the ex-villain you’ve fallen in love with. “Oh my God!” You said running towards fuyumi who was expecting a hug from you but you ran past her and hugged touya who hugged you back. “ I can’t believe you’re alive, I missed you so much.” You said pampering his scarred face with kisses. “Easy babygirl.” Said touya giving you an eskimo kiss. “Wow y/n is the perfect match for you touya.” Said fuyumi squealing like a happy kid who’s got the prize he wanted. “Don’t you guys have stuff to discuss?” Asked touya still has you in his arms. “ we do but that can wait for tomorrow.” You said receiving an approving look from fuyumi. “ you guys need to catch up with each other, I’ll go work on some projects.” Said fuyumi leaving you and touya alone. He was wearing a black leather pants with black boots and a light grey dress shirt that has the first few buttons unbuttoned with a darker grey trench coat. “You look hot.” Said touya loving the way you’re dressed. “ says the hottest man alive.” You said walking hand in hand with him to a nearby bench. You sat down and he sat down next to you. “Hey y/n.” Said touya looking a bit nervous. “ yes” You said hugging his arm. “ do you by any chance think of marriage?” Said touya finally blurting what he wanted to tell you the moment you met in that cold weather that day. “Of course I would want to get married but I don’t have a boyfriend.” You said looking around at all the couples in the campus. “ then would you like to go out with me.” Said touya pulling you into his lap. “ I’d love too.” You said wrapping your arms around his neck then kissed his lips passionately

“But why would you ask this all of a sudden?” You asked after the kiss broke. “ my mom wants to see her grandkids before she kicks the bucket so I’m trying to make her wish come true.” Said touya kissing your neck. “ fair enough.” You said cuddling with him more before your next class started.

The days have passed and today was your wedding day to the number one’s oldest son.

“Black hair suits you touya.” Said rei adjusting his bowtie. “ thanks mom.” Said touya giving her forehead a chaste kiss. “ you shouldn’t keep your bride waiting.” Said enji wiping his tears away. “ you’re right.” Said touya giving tissues to his dad. Even though everything is fine with the family, there are times were the tension is high between the two of them.

Time skip to the wedding night.

“ when am I expecting grandchildren from you two.” Said rei giving you a hug while the others congratulated you “by the end of this night she’ll be pregnant.” Said touya shamelessly as he fist bumped natsuo. “Awww I’m so happy for you two.” Said toga jumping up and down excitedly. “ yeah enjoy your night.” Said shigaraki playing with his Nintendo but without all the hands around his body. “ I wish you happiness lady y/n.” Said compress giving you a red rose. “ thank you.” You said taking it from him. “ now now its time to go.” Said Dabi taking you away from all of them.

In the suite that enji booked for you two… you went to the bedroom to take your makeup off and wear the sexy see through babydoll dress that fuyumi bought for you while touya took off all of the accessories he’s wearing and just sticking with his dress shirt and pants (hence he’s wearing the same as the fanart) since he’s awaiting for you he decided to smoke a bit…

“Psst psst.” You said getting his attention from the huge window he was looking at. “Oh my.” Said touya taking his pants off then chased after you around the suite with his hard cock. Once he had a grip of you he wasted no time in drilling his dick in your pussy all night… thus making you pregnant as he promised.

#dabi #dabi my hero academia #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x female reader #dabi smut

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makeste · 1 year

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[39 weeks later]

well all right then. I owe some explanations and some updates, so let's just get straight to that.

1. "what the hell, makeste. you can't just disappear for nine months and leave a sign on your blog that says "gone leavin'.'"

yeah I know. sorry guys.

so there are a lot of reasons for my long absence, but when you boil it all down, the essence is basically as follows: at its absolute max capacity, my ADHD brain is capable of keeping up with any two of the following: (1) work; (2) school; (3) tumblr. that's it. only two. no more and no less.

and for years this has not mattered at all because school was no longer in the picture! but as mentioned in my last two update posts, as of this past January, I had to start taking classes again for career advancement reasons, meaning my brain was quickly overloaded and something had to give. so yeah. I can assure you the past nine months have absolutely sucked and I am not AT ALL sure that it was worth it, but it is what it is.

I also want to add that I never intended to basically fall off the face of the earth anywhere near to this extent, let alone for this long. but in retrospect I probably should have seen it coming, seeing as this is not the first time it's happened, sob. and also in hindsight, towards the end of last year (during which I was already struggling to keep up with the weekly BnHA reactions) someone mentioned that it sounded like I was showing signs of being potentially close to burnout. turns out that observation was spot on lol.

so yeah. tl;dr, burnout + an obnoxiously busy real life schedule + a sprinkling of good old-fashioned ADHD "somehow I always underestimate how hard it is to restart something after taking a long break from it, and the longer I go without returning the worse it gets" brain shenanigans (more on that last part further down).

2. "MAKESTE. WHILE YOU WERE GONE, IN THE MANGA, THERE WAS A THING -- "

yes I have unfortunately been spoiled about The Thing.

3. "so wait, exactly how spoiled are you?? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE THING"

I will make a separate post to talk about The Thing! I expect that many people will want to talk about this, and tbh I've really been wanting to talk about it too! I'm telling you, when I say the past nine months have sucked, I mean they have truly SUCKED, you guys. school is so fucking boring and I miss rambling about fandom stuff so fucking much.

anyway but with that said, ~*~PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANY SPOILERS IN THIS POST~*~. I don't want to delete anybody's comments! but I will if necessary because I am a spoiler narc and I don't want to risk accidentally ruining stuff on the off chance that a non-spoiled person comes across this post. so yeah. however please do feel free to message me or comment in my other post (which I will link once it’s up; eta: here it is) if you do want to talk about The Thing.

4. "so aside from The Thing, are you otherwise caught up with the BnHA manga currently?"

so here's the hilarious part: no, I am not caught up. not even remotely. literally the last chapter of BnHA I read was chapter 339, which is the most recent chapter that I liveblogged, all the way back on December 31, 2021. I literally have not read a single new BnHA chapter in the year of our lord 2022 lol. :') basically for the same reasons I mentioned in my previous update post. tl;dr, reading/liveblogging a single new BnHA chapter is a minimum 4+ hour commitment for me, and by this point I have accrued a backlog of... oh sweet lord. 35 total chapters lol. so yeah. that's approximately 140 hours of catch-up that I need to do, which is paralyzing just to think about.

I do still plan on catching up, obviously! I'm just not sure how, lol. I may have some time to spare this weekend, so I might try to binge a few chapters and see how it goes. then I'll have to come up with some sort of sustainable posting schedule. I've been thinking about this for a while and I might try to do a Mon/Wed/Fri thing if I can swing it, but I don't want to commit to anything for sure yet until I see how those first few chapters go. fingers crossed, though.

anyway so I guess that's it. post is getting long. anything more will just be rambling.

sorry again, guys. how is everyone? what did I miss. aside from twitter dying and tumblr welcoming the refugees into our culture by inviting them to participate in the newly created fandom of a nonexistent 1970s mafia film.

#makeste reads bnha #real life update

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a-captions-blog · 6 months

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sending this in response to the ask about shorter descriptions—take this with a grain of salt as i am sighted, this is just what i've picked up from spending some time writing descriptions myself following guidelines from other web accessibility sources outside tumblr.

while i can't find any sources on "industry standard" descriptions being ten words or fewer specifically (i did see fifteen from one source, though,) i do see that alt text should generally be around 200 characters at the most, as alt text should be concise and give just enough detail to understand the image clearly while not including anything that isn't vital to that understanding. some screenreaders aren't compatible with alt text that goes over that limit.

however, a lot of what you do on this blog is outright transcriptions, which isn't quite the same. aside from that, what most people (including you) who write descriptions on here are writing are long descriptions, which are intended for describing images in more depth than alt text and aren't meant to be concise in the same way. i think part of the problem is that people on this website tend to use "image description" synonymously with "alt text," implying that alt text and long descriptions should work the same way and aren't made with distinct (though related) goals in mind.

on websites outside of tumblr, long descriptions are usually used for images containing lots of vital information like charts and graphs, in conjunction with a short description in alt text—the alt says something like "a chart showing (general data)," and the long description provides the specific information, sometimes linked on another page or put in a collapsible menu so that the user can choose to access it. on tumblr however, especially when you're not the original poster of something, i don't know what a good equivalent to this practice would be. you could always warn at the beginning of a description that it is meant to be a detailed/long description or a transcription of lots of text.

image description guidelines are also not the same as guidelines for describing audio or video. this isn't something i do as much as image description, so i don't have any specific knowledge about it, but i'd keep that in mind too.

i don't mean to come off as contrarian to that anon (because i think their criticism is justified and i'm open to correction if there's something about their perspective i'm missing,) or condescending towards you (as i'm sure you probably know some of this already, being a caption blog,) i just thought i'd provide some context i don't see often that might help you figure out what you want to do with your captions ^_^b (happy thumbs-up emoticon).

[Previous ask for context.] Hello! Thank you for your input. The difference in purpose between alt text and long descriptions makes sense to me, and I have some non-Tumblr experience with video transcriptions that I try to apply here as well. I do agree with the previous anon that my descriptions for art and such tend to be a bit verbose, so I can definitely work on trying to capture the general essence of the piece rather than every minute detail. I think I will go with the idea of putting a pre-description for longer captions that are as concise as possible and mention that the following description is lengthy. I will also add the ‘long description’ tag moving forward in case people want to block that pre-emptively. I am also open to further discussion on this if anyone (especially screen reader users) wants to comment :] (rectangular smiley)

#blog meta #captions meta #StopRockVideo #also that thumbs up emoticon is so cute i am definitely stealing that for personal use heh

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crystalmannequin · 4 months

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✧*̥˚💙✦rules | headcanons | verses✦💙*̥˚✧

starter call .・゜-: ✧ :-

this is an independent (low-activity) roleplay blog centered around the Warrior of Light from dissidia final fantasy, as well as his later appearances in final fantasy i, strangers of paradise and beyond. please make sure to read the rules before interacting.

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

general information about mun:

mun alias: thief, pronouns: any

i am very new to roleplaying on tumblr specifically, and this will be my first foray into such, as i usually rp on discord - if i miss anything in relation to usual tumblr roleplay culture or etiquette, please dont hesitate to let me know! i may sometimes need help or advice when it comes to these things, too. please be open with expectations.

i am also new to final fantasy in general, and may not have perfect knowledge about the games: as it stands, im most well-versed in the lore and story for dissidia, ffi, ffii and ffiv, although my knowledge might still have gaps. in essence, this is both an attempt to settle myself into roleplaying on tumblr as well as get a feel for the warrior of light as a character when i write him. in the end, i dont claim to be a professional at all; this is solely for my enjoyment and improvement.

i am a multi-paragraph roleplayer, although usually i tend to match whoever im roleplaying with; as well as that, my activity can be inconsistent and at times fluctuates, but i dont at all mind grabs at my attention. if i take too long to respond to something, feel free to send me a message or an ask to remind me.

im fine with most any manner of interaction, whether its messaging for plotting, prompts through asks, or etc. however, ill admit im not quite sure how to go about these things myself yet, so apologies if i end up being incredibly awkward! i seek to learn.

this is a sideblog, which means follows will be from my main blog, @viralvava - however, interactions will be kept to this blog (except regarding asks)

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

#ff rp #final fantasy rp #self promo #?#final fantasy roleplay #ff roleplay #𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 ? (ooc)

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ask-idv-shepherd · 1 year

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Shepherd S-Teir Essence

DISCLAIMER: So this is my first Essence idea I'm doing publicly for people to join in on, if they want. I'm not great with Essence lore, but designs I really really like doing. I'm going to put some ground rules for the essence below. For now though, here's a little bit of info on the lore.

"Today was supposed to be a joyous day for me, for us."

"For once I don't have to worry about lowly humans messing with our lives. That is why it rains when the foxes are to be married. To keep the bad away."

"But now? The rain is weeping, cold and in misery. I've lost so much, given them so many chances to prosper, but they all run away, calling me a foul beast..."

"Will you be the bride-to-be? Or are you here to strip me of my chances of happiness once more?"

S-Tier: Twofaced-Fox Groom - Pearce Whittaker The groom who is half man, half beast. Countless maiden's were fated to him, and yet all have washed away like the rain on his special day. He will get what he wants, even if a little sacrifice entails.

A-Tier: The Vixen Bride - Carmilla Blackwood @ask-idv-outcast The bride who came to be. Her world spins at the lack of understanding. Is this a reality? Or is this a twisted fantasy of possession and desperation? Pleading is endless. A-Tier: Hindered Ijiraq - (OPEN) The objector to this nightmarish event. Shapeshifting into what he must, Protecting the Vixen Bride is all that matters. To pry the claws off a fox, you must be in the exact situation, and take the rightful role back.

B-Tier: Deathly Officiant - (OPEN) The preacher who's gone cold. Nothing more than a long, skeletal remain of who they once were. Adorned with the antlers of an elk, they must ensure this wedding does not end in humanity's downfall. B-Tier: Wilting Willows - Ameillia Thomson @ask-idv-gas-specialist To toss the petals at a wedding is almost necessary, and yet here, everything is dead and lifeless. While there may be no joy in such a place, there is always a small glimmer of hope. All roles must be played, no matter how bitter it may be. B-Tier: Ouroboros Bearer - Eiji Narukami @idv-artists-trio-trio The rings bind lovers indefinitely. Vows are made, and promise till death. This is the eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation. Fighting through skin and bone, you must be there for your beloved always. B-Tier: The Urayuli Usher - Victor Grantz/Campbell @ask-victor-grantzcampbell A large beast who finds the to-be-brides lost in the woods. Those who have gone missing lie at the hands of a beast with high-pitched shrills. Yet here, they serve as peaceful creatures seeking to guide those destined to fate. B-Tier: Maid of Shallowness - (OPEN) Jealousy, Hatred, Pettiness. All things accumulated to malice. The maid who wished to be the best, to have a gorgeous wedding. The plot only thickens when trying numerical times to replace the bride. Even if bloodshed is the last resort. B-Tier: Best Man's Sorrows - (Damien Hardwick @idv-sinful-deities Pity, Regret, Ashamed. The things that make the Best Man feel sorry for countless brides and their frivolous ends. With little to no power, all they can do is weep enterally at what could transpire next. If only someone could stop this nightmare once and for all. ~~

RULES:

One person per blog, sorry homies with the multiple characters on one blog. U_U a. OCs and canon characters are allowed btw!!!

First come, first serve. That's the rules man. Once all the roles are filled, that'll be it so I can work on designs.

Skin Recommendation ideas would be cool! If you have any questions, you can message me here on Tumblr, or On Discord if you prefer! My User is JustMandika#2840.

Don't rush me on the skin making. I absolutely hate that and it might make me procrastinate longer.

~~ So yeah, that's it. If you want a character to be in this little essence idea I did, please lemme know in my inbox here for shepherd. I'll answer in due time, I promy ( Xv X) b

#idv shepherd #idv survivor oc #idv oc ask blog #idv oc #idv essence ideas #// I'm sobbing rn

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iniziare · 1 year

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Due to some recent developments, I've decided to make some changes— or rather, I want to return to how I used to function across my blogs. I used to run a tight ship and I miss it. People have always known me to treat my mains as, sort of unspoken exclusives, but I'm going to cement that in a bit more clearly as of today, moving forward into 2023 with it as I properly settle back into life on Tumblr. As a note, this does not require reciprocation, it is simply how I choose to go about this topic. And don't worry, I will update my general guidelines in a moment to reflect all this.

From hereon out, if I choose to list you as a main writing partner in a muse's page (and it is incredibly important to note that I will be even more exceedingly picky about it; it is not just tied to friendships behind the scenes): I am loyal to your portrayal and am, from that point forward, actively disinterested in writing with duplicates of your muse. This does not change much from my end, as I believe that I have always practiced this concept with the only exception being when two close friends pick up a muse simultaneously (and to my recollection, this has only occurred twice). So in essence, yes, I practice a sort of exclusivity from my end that, let me reiterate, does not require to be reciprocated. With this change, however, I want to note two main expectations that I will hold you to, and which you can, obviously, demand of me in return (and add your own):

Activity: Mika in specific will enjoy this one; you can expect certain activity from me, as life reasonably permits it (ie.: if I'm ill, let me sleep all day, come on). Let's call myself out here: I have been primarily gone from Tumblr for a period of almost three years, and regardless of the reasons behind it, I have sorely missed being here. I miss the days of 2016/2017 when this was an active part of my day and people had my attention throughout it. Since my life is finally settling, my passion for this place is returning and I actively await the moment when I can sit down and be here. And so with that— I feel confident to say that you can expect regular activity and replies from me as a writing partner. Don't let me take months, because you deserve more from me as a writing partner and I expect you to hold me to that if it were ever required.

Priority: As my main writing partner, you will always be prioritized, without exception. I hold myself to this very strictly (and always have), but it is also something that comes with incredible ease. For you become my main in the first place, it means that I must very thoroughly enjoy writing with you, so it is only normal that you get first dibs. And that when I open my drafts, I automatically navigate to your thread because I actively want to respond to it. This also means that when I come up with ideas or specific plots that involve your character (or even feral meta), I will always come to you.

These are two things that I expect to be reciprocated. I'm not demanding all of your time, I am not demanding you to tie yourself down to my portrayal in the way that I choose to do with yours, but I am demanding the same treatment of the above two points that I offer you, if we become main writing partners. It has to do with respect, and that is something that I have always held in very high regard.

(Again: don't forget the tags which will likely be even more important, who knows...)

#[ out of character. ] whatever. i don't really care. i'm just gonna sit this one out.#[ to shorten this for my guidelines will be interesting-- but i wanted to note this here. ]#[ with my return to tumblr-- comes my return of running a tight ship. that's what i did when i enjoyed my time here most. ]#[ my main writing partners simply mean a lot; i no longer wish to add friends to it just because they're my friends. ]#[ i want people there because they've earned their place to be there. in the same way that it should be in return. ]#[ i don't want to be your main unless i've earned it. and from thereon out; i have to keep earning it. ]#[ i will do my best to hold myself to that standard-- but if i ever falter; verbally smack me. because you deserve much more from me. ]#[ so yes. i will be culling my mains-- very very strictly. and i don't want people to take it personally. ]#[ if anything-- see it as follows: i /want you back on that list/. but i will hold myself and you to that. ]#[ which means we're plotting in the near future and we're going to write. ]#[ and when we are; you're going back on it. ]#[ this currently only applies to tifa; as she is going to be (in the foreseeable future) the only muse i'll be writing/focusing on. ]#[ so do ignore all of my other pages. ]#[ hi guys-- welcome to my blog. my name is sae and i'm going to start holding myself to the same standard that i used to do. ]#[ here we go; right into 2023. /salutes. ]

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dal22nd · 1 year

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no rlly, to my twin? soulmate? enemy?

hi baby!!! did ya miss me!!!

yeah, look... i bet ur ass watched the video below first out of curiosity (or not?) but hey!!! i'll try keep it brief and short like a sbar for u, bbg...

i just thought i'd kinda crossover with a tumblr blog, yanno... since we don't rlly aff anymore and so all i could do is fucking make a tumblr blog abruptly to compensate for how stupid i was last year for fucking up ur birthday when U literally make it in time every SINGLE time??? bro... i... am still dwelling over that...

but...

happy 22nd birthday, dalena!!! <3333 ur finally old, like actually old??? and knowing u, i bet ur extremely excited for the new events and challenges to find u, like i bet ur ass is about to explode in excitement like yeah!!! come at me, 22!!! u piece of shit!!! i'm gonna be rich at the age of 22!!@@@@@@!! ok, but in all seriousness, we're spending ur second birthday together!!! <: i'm so glad we made it so far, but i'm also dumbfounded yet pleasantly surprised at how it's ONLY been two years??? it feels like more, but looking back at the memories we made makes it feels like it's too less??? if that makes sense??? replaying our old videos and reminiscing our old photos made me realise how much more i'd love to stick by u and do more dumb yet cute things together??? i want to explore parts of the world with u with laughs and giggles like we always do, and even go on dates with our future boyfies together one day... like there's just so much to accomplish and left to do with u, and i'm so honoured and happy to have somebody to do everything with!!! i think i'm incredibly lucky to just have u come across my mind immediately when i think of wanting to do things, because i know so many people who lack that particular person in their lives,,, sure, it can be their significant other or a member of their family but truly, i believe that a friendship like ours is quite rare and special?? if i could flex something of mine, u would literally be the first thing (yeah, thing) without a doubt,,, <3

i've always shielded myself from judgement by feigning nonchalance most times (as u would know.. or gaslight..) and never really disclosed details about myself or inner feelings to anyone out there, which includes my family, but towards u???? i feel exposed at times to the point it makes me trip over me and my own deep thoughts; but i've always concluded that it's never actually a bad feeling, it's more so a foreign feeling... i would've never chose to do this alone, but it's because u!!! are the person who drew me out to be more true about myself!!! u hold the capability of doing so because you've grown up that way, u observe carefully and ask what's right and know what's right---you're intelligent, u read people and ur confident about urself, hence why ur able to do such magical things---like sure, i don't hold any power to stamp and validate the fact that this is the exact reason why u are the definition of perfection, etcetera, but i strongly think that's the essence to why i'm unknowingly happy to open up towards u, and i'm sure it's not just me who feels this way anyway?? i exaggerate it all the time, but i'm never too fancy with words irl nor am i as expressive irl, i just fucking cry like a mf pussy and call it a day since i'm poor at mustering and conveying my thoughts as whole when i'm put into the situation... idk if anything i said makes sense, but whenever i'm facing an opportunity to be more truthful towards u, that's the first thing i always want to mention (man.. ur gonna see how many times i'm repeating this shit after seeing smth else later..)

also, not to mention, ur so god damn giving??? is that a fucking word??? generous??? yeah??? humble??? u never fail to amaze me when ur acting upon smth, ur always taking a step ahead of others and never doing anything that makes u look petty whatsoever?? u take initiative and demonstrate what a good deed is, and sometimes i can't help but to feel little when u live up to doing something so generous and nice,,, i think abt how i should repay u and also how i can thank u except ur always going ???wtf u gay ass cockroach??? but really, i never stopped thinking this ever since i met u cus like... who tf buys a total stranger (who could literally be a fucking murderer in disguise) a hoodie, two albums and food at first encounter??? like i tell u now, if i can tell my child about my most shocked moments in life, that'd have to be one... i know u always make urself up to be not the kindest person, but to me ur literally top notch when it comes to consideration and kindness---like how ur always taking a step forward to take care of me in all situations, giving me a listening ear at all times, making sure i'm always safe, accompanying me to places, driving me back home, agreeing to any idea i have and being happy for anything i achieve---you're a bundle of positive energy anyone would love, it's just that the only problem is that no one truly deserves you unless they're fucking godly or smth... (inner thought: am i god?) see.. like ur so fucking nice to the point i occasionally think,,, are we rlly that similar or is she just fucking matching up w me to make it look like we're similar cus she's just that fucking nice??? LIKE GAWD.... i mean... i hope it's not that...

ok, jfc, i feel like i'm actually going to babble all day long so i need to pack my shit up and realise this day isn't going on for the rest of the year... to sum everything up tho, i really really really appreciate you, dalena!!! like so much, and i cherish u a whole lot more than anyone---i can't imagine how boring life would be without u now, and ur literally my ride to die atp... i apologise in advance for thinking of u so highly cus now i feel like u might be like GAWD... there's a fucking parasite on me... how do i cut ties... but yeah, now i need to fucking find a man that's as compatible to me like u are which is gonna be a whole fucking challenge, huh :)))) </3 but REALLY REALLY, i'm not the ***best*** friend nor am i as considerate as u, but i hope i' haven't been too fucking dumb and immature i'm bearable to have around on days u feel like u just want a friend to hang with, hehe... T_T <333 i love love love u, ma angel...

from... ur dad (aru)

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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On my way - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky was your penpal and now he's here.

Warnings: military AU, smut, long-distance relationship, pen pals, oral sex (f), dirty talk, p in v, unprotected sex, cumplay.

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This one is a part of my kinktober celebrations. My original intention for this October was to work exclusively around prompts that my wonderful friend @darkficsyouneveraskedfor created for her challenge and dedicate each story to a different friend. My new plan became then 31 days of different kinks, which expanded on a poly relationship with Stucky, as you might know by now. However, some of the stories I started were already truly loved by me, and so I kept on writing them. It worked well because as it turns out, I am fortunate enough to have more than 31 friends on Tumblr, so here is the story I wrote for @tuiccim. She’s a friend and an inspiration and I hope she’ll like this just as much as I hoped she would! Thanks to my lovely @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for reading this over for me!

Dear Angel,

Your letters are all that keep me going now. The recovery process has not been easy, but it makes me smile to think that each day in pain is one less day until I get to see your face for the first time.

You have bewitched me. I cannot explain the power you have over me, even from a distance. I can only hope you’ll still want me when we do meet, despite every scar and missing piece in my body and soul. Although I have a feeling you will soon fill these pieces and make me feel complete again, like you’ve done to my heart.

Forever yours,

James

My heart pounded against my chest as I read over his words over and over again, like it always did whenever I went to check the mail and saw there was a letter from him waiting for me. Signing up for that online pen pal program so I could write to lonely people in the military, away from their countries so they could serve for our lives, was the best choice I’d ever made in mine.

Lord knows I was lonely too. And getting to know James - or Bucky, how he was called by his friends - had been the absolute highlight of my year. Over the last ten months, we went from strangers to friends and then… something else entirely. It was weird getting to know someone over actual letters, but not a bad weird. Just… different.

It was like getting to know their soul first, what they were really like instead of falling for the mask of a person you always end up seeing when out on first dates. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward, that is perfectly understandable, but when you are already miles away (and not intending to fall in love) the need for masks quickly disappears. You’re left with the very essence of the stranger you’re trying to meet.

And his essence was just perfect for me. He was kind, funny, smart, incredibly protective of his friends - the people he considered his family. He was lonely, just like me, but that hadn’t made him cold. No, instead of closing in on himself, he’d become attentive and understanding.

Everything I’d ever wanted in a partner. And for some reason, it seemed like he felt the same way about me.

Just as my thoughts became consumed with him yet again - a new habit ever since we started exchanging letters - a knock resonated through my apartment, snapping me out of my own mind, and then a slight jolt of fear consumed me. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Hell, I barely knew anyone in this overwhelming, big city - it was part of the reason why I decided to start looking for a penpal in the first place.

The knock resonated again, forcing me to do something about it. It could be one of the neighbors, in need of something. Even if we’d never exchanged a single greeting ever since I moved in, I suppose that was possible.

Cursing my landlord for not giving me a way to check who awaited me outside, I tried asking, “Who is it?”, only to be met with silence. So taking a deep breath, I decided to open the door at once.

And I was met with a hard chest, under a dark red Henley that was covered by a brown leather jacket. I looked up, up, up, until I found the brightest, sweetest blue eyes I’d ever seen, in a face that could only have been sculpted by the Gods.

“Hey, Doll,” he smiled, clutching the handle of his satchel. “Mind if I come in?” There was only one person who had ever addressed me as doll, even if I’d never actually heard him call me that.

For a few seconds, I just stood there frozen, looking up at the man I couldn’t believe was in front of me, clutching the door in the hopes it would keep me up.

And then I was in his arms. He caught me easily, huge smile taking over his face as his bag was abandoned on the floor, and he twirled me around while I grasped every part of him I could reach.

“What on Earth are you doing here?” I just couldn’t process it. He was really here. This was really happening. We both giggled in delight as his hands roamed over my body, apparently as touch-starved for me as I was for him.

How did his touch electrify me when I had never even seen him before?

“I got leave, I didn’t have anywhere else to go and the only place I wanted to be was here.” His voice was so different from what I’d pictured. It was even better, rough but warm, I felt like it was making its way inside my bones and melting to fill the empty parts of me.

“You made the right call,” I assured him once he looked up at me from under his eyelashes, obviously nervous about my reaction to him suddenly deciding to inhabit my life.

He smiled in gratitude and I did too. The excitement was palpable, but then it was silent. The heavy sexual tension, the need to have him was simply too much.

“God, just kiss me already,” I begged, pulling him by the shirt so our lips could meet, and even though he was surprised, he smiled in the kiss when he returned it.

“Fuck, you want this too, doll?” He asked, walking us into the apartment and kicking the door closed, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “Please tell me that you do.”

I don’t know how he ever thought I could feel any differently. The need to have him was overwhelming, I could barely even speak. So I opted to nod eagerly, hoping he could see my enthusiasm in the way my fingers trembled as they reached for my own clothes and then his, leaving us naked for each other’s gazes to explore.

I’d been dreaming about this moment for so long, but now that it was here, I couldn’t believe it was really happening. I wanted to relish every second of it.

“Fuck, did you touch yourself while thinking about this?” He asked after he had deposited me in bed, making quick work of his shirt as I got out of my dress. “Because I did. I thought about you every damn night.”

The thought of him touching himself to the little that he knew of me, just as I’d done on this very same bed he was now climbing, made me hotter than nothing else.

“So many times,” I admitted. It wasn’t a lie. Even without knowing what he looked like, the memory of his words on the letters he had written me was enough to get me aroused - but not as much as the feeling of his calloused hands running over my body, playing me like a fiddle.

“I want to get you all dirty,” he warned, and my wanton moan was enough of a response to show him that I wasn’t against that plan at all. His body scooted further down the bed, hands pressing me open, exposing my slit to him, and I saw him lick his lips before he leaned over and licked me. “Oh, damn…” He whispered, making me even more breathless. “So sweet. Don’t think I can’t handle you, sugar.”

That pet name would be the death of me, I was certain of it.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his as he easily brought me to an earth-shattering release right onto his waiting tongue, lapping every single drop of my juices before nuzzling the lower part of his face against my cunt. Once he pulled away, he was the one dripping, and I licked my lips in need.

“I need to be inside of you now,” he warned. I’d never oppose that. The first time he tried pressing his member on me it slipped, rubbing against my clit, making me moan. He chuckled as he tried again, forcing the head of his member to breach my opening before he released it and let his hips do the work. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, voice low and raspy and perfect.

“Can’t believe I’m here with you.” I couldn’t believe it either. That’s why I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him as he held my hands on each side of my head and began to drill his cock into me, prompting moans of pleasure to escape my lips like never before.

His own eyes never left my face either so maybe that’s how he noticed that I was holding back, biting down on my lower lip in an effort to contain myself somewhat.

He let go of one of my hands to grab my cheeks, burying his fingers on them. “Scream,” he ordered, voice serious and inciting shivers down my spine. “I can’t believe I get to know your voice now, and it’s so fucking perfect. I want you to scream for me.”

Needless to say, once he let go it was all I could do.

But who could really blame me? I was overwhelmed with the way his hips seemed eager to press against mine, and how his hands ran all over my body as he murmured to himself, “You belong to me now.”

It wasn’t an order or a question. It was only really a statement, a truth I couldn’t deny as he brought me to a release that was blinding and paralyzing, right as his hips began to lose their rhythm.

“And I belong to you,” he whispered as he approached his own orgasm. “You’re the only thing I’ve got now, sugar. I’m gonna take damn good care of you.”

I could barely even think, but I had no doubt in my mind about it - just from the way he had fucked me tonight. My cunt still clenched around his cock, trying to milk his orgasm, and I knew I was close to getting what I wanted from the way his breath hitched.

It was like he couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t stop praising me as he got closer and closer to spilling inside of me. “Good girl,” he panted, hands leaving my hips to find a hold on the headboard of my bed. “Such a good girl for me.”

His words had me shaking underneath him, right when his grip tightened and his whole body tensed, his cum filling me up, warming me from the inside.

He pulled away almost immediately, and I would have whined if he hadn’t replaced his now soft cock with two of his digits, pushing his cum back into me and keeping me plugged up. I could barely stay still, body instinctively squirming away from him because of the sensitivity, but he didn’t let me get too far.

“You got nowhere to go, angel,” he chuckled, eyes still stuck on where he was touching me. “You’re all mine now. All mine.”

#my fics #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #smut #military au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes reader inserts #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes one-shot

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severetimetravelnerd · 2 years

Text

DROP THE ACT(FT.HONGJOONG) (PART 5)

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” -Oscar Wilde

You and Hongjoong couldn’t stand each other…right?

I only write on this blog on Tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Taglist: @kwonnansi ; @unabashedturkeytreeslime ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast ; @to-all-the-stories-i-love ; @bangtanxberm ; @bunnybubkook ; @nctflix

Appearances from the Wooyoung and Seonghwa, and also Sunwoo from The Boyz

Helloooooo~ I hope you enjoy Part 5! This is my favourite chapter, so do leave me notes and comments about what you thought :)))

My update schedule is not fixed, so please do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

RIVALS TO LOVERS AU, IDIOTS TO LOVERS AU, Not exactly Enemies, but kinda, FAKE DATING AU

Warnings: Cursing, talk of snobby families, kissing, mentions of alcoholism, arranged marriages, breakups, partial smut, blatant classism.

Word count: 3100

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut in later chapters

————————————–

You excused yourself early that night, only pausing to text Hongjoong as you drove home. Hongjoong himself only realised you were gone when Seonghwa was looking for you and he offered to call you. As he took out his phone, he saw your terse text.

- Hey

- I’m not feeling too good, so I’m going to head home

And immediately, he felt dread overcome him. It just felt...off.

His brain went into overdrive. Shit. Were you that upset about the kiss? Things did get weird only after the kiss. Granted, with the way your parents had been glaring at you, he did have to kiss you, but he’d be lying if he said most of it wasn’t just him wanting to kiss you. And he did. He did lie to you. Partly because he was afraid of your reaction, even if you did get caught up in the moment and kiss him back. Mostly because he was terrified of what it meant. He hated you. He hated you and your family with his entire soul. How could he want to kiss you?

No. It was just a temporary lapse in judgement. Call it the moment. Call it confusion. Call it whatever. But he most definitely did not want to kiss you. Even as his hands were aching to hold you again, that night, in bed, he told himself over and over again that he did not want to kiss you.

---

It was easy for you to avoid Hongjoong for the next few days, as there were no parties or galas. Of course, you could have texted him. Or he could have texted you. But neither of you did that. You threw yourself back into work. At least, you tried to.

A week after you last saw Hongjoong, you snapped your laptop shut after reading an email from the marketing team about your new cologne launch. It had a ‘woodsy’ scent. Fucking hell, of course, it had the one thing you associate with him. Okay, maybe not one thing. Maybe every perfume note that smelled like him sent you spiralling, which was inconvenient since you sold perfume for a living. You groaned and leaned back in your chair, marvelling at the situation you got yourself into when you jumped hearing someone knock on your door.

“Come in.”

The door swung open, and a very familiar head of short, wavy hair popped in. In seconds, your expression went from tired to complete and utter shock.

“Mirae?!”

She shut the door behind her and smiled nervously as she pulled you into a hug.

“Y/N!”

You stared at her, still in disbelief. You missed her. Of course you missed her. She was your best friend. Is your best friend. No matter how upset you were with her for disappearing for three years, you still loved her. But were you pissed as hell? Yes.

You raised an eyebrow as you stared at her.

She took a deep breath before coming to sit down in front of you.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

You turned and looked around.

“Oh, are you talking to me? I’m sorry, I thought you forgot how to talk.”

You gave her a pointed look. She gave you a sheepish one.

“Are you done being petty?”

“Nope. You’re going to hear about this for a really long time.”

“Fair enough.”

The two of you sat there in silence for a few minutes before she broke it.

“Can I at least explain why I disappeared?”

You nodded.

“Do you remember, around 4 years ago, I started dating this guy called Kim Hongjoong?”

You tensed immediately but simply nodded in agreement.

“Well, I never wanted to date him. My family…well, let’s just say that business wasn’t going well. My dad looked around and became fixated with Hongjoong. He was rich and was new to the business, so he didn’t know about my dad’s drinking problem. So, my dad forced me to date Hongjoong. He tried to force me to marry Hongjoong.”

Mirae paused for a second, clearly finding it difficult to talk about.

“I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Not that Hongjoong was a bad guy. He was great. I just…I didn’t love him. And I did not want to marry him. So I made plans to run away. You remember my cousin Kiara, right? Yeah, she let me stay with her. Just before I left, I told you he broke my heart and I told him you forced me to break up with him. I’m sorry. I was desperate. I texted you before boarding the flight and yeah…I disappeared.”

You stared at her wide-eyed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“…I don’t know. It was just hard to admit that my family is that fucked up.”

You quickly hugged her, feeling awful. You weren’t even able to help your best friend when she needed it. What kind of a friend were you?

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Mirae. I should have been there for you.”

“No! You were there for me. I was just having a tough time talking about it.”

“Is it safe for you to be back here?”

“Yeah. My mom covered for me. And they just got divorced the other day. So yeah,” she turned to give you the happiest smile you’d seen from her in a long time, “I’m staying with my mom.”

---

The two of you spent ages catching up and only when she left did it sink it. You had no reason to hate Hongjoong. You didn’t even have to feel guilty about it anymore. Just like that, so much tension left your body. You knew there was something there. There had to be. You knew it wasn’t just you. And maybe, maybe like you, Hongjoong was also conflicted. Maybe he didn’t know what to do, since he thought he hated you. God, you had to tell him. You absolutely had to tell him. You two could finally drop the act of hating each other and just…be you.

You drove to Hongjoong’s office, knowing full well he wouldn’t go home before 6.

You walked down the hallway of the empty office, the employees having gone home for the day, and with each passing step, you felt your heart lift with a kind of elation. It was freeing to stop pretending to hate him. And you knew. You knew deep down you had always liked him. You didn’t have to suppress it anymore.

You quickened your step.

Hongjoong had to feel something. He could also give up the ridiculous farce of hating you. He kissed you for god’s sake. He even stayed with you the night of the storm. He took you out on a picnic just so you could relax. There had to be something there. There absolutely had to be.

And that was when you saw the open door of his office.

You frowned. That wasn’t like Hongjoong. He had the most peculiar habit of locking every door he could find. Suddenly, you started to feel uneasy. Peeking through the door, you felt your skin crawl as your instinct was proven right.

Hongjoong was there, sitting on the couch in his office. But he wasn’t alone. There was a topless woman straddling him, with his hands wrapped around her waist as she unbuttoned his shirt. You wanted to claw your eyes out because of the sight of Hongjoong with another woman…you were desperately pinching yourself to take away from the pain in your chest. Yeah, you knew he met a lot of women, but to actually see it…it made you feel sick. And that’s when you heard them.

Hongjoong was trying to kiss her when she pulled away with a glare. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Jia, that’s not true.”

“Oh, so you mean to tell me you’re not dating Y/N?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then what is that all about?”

“It’s just another ploy by an ice-cold, money-hungry bitch who is terrified of parting with her money.”

There was silence for a minute before Jia burst out laughing.

You could feel your knees get weaker. That was what he thought of you? That was why he thought you were doing this? You dug your nails into your palms hard, drawing blood.

“I see you still think of her the same way.”

He leaned back lazily.

“Of course. She made Mirae break up with me just because I didn’t come from wealth, like her.”

“So... is this all just to prove something?”

“I mean, it is a massive fuck you to her family’s snobbery, so that’s a plus.”

You couldn’t breathe. All this while, Hongjoong thought that was why you hated him? And he still thought of you the same way? Even after getting to know you? Even after you thought he had worked past it? Even after pretending to care? Everything he was doing was just to prove a point? A ‘fuck you’? All the time you thought you shared something was just that?

And just like that, the way he called you princess made you sick.

You walked away as quietly as you could, eyes screwing shut when you heard the moans behind you. As you walked to your car, you felt this overwhelming weight.

You should have known. You really should have known.

Even as you sat there in your car, trying to calm down before driving, as you told yourself that he was an asshole and it didn’t matter, you knew you were lying. Hongjoong…mattered. And yes, seeing him with another woman hurt, but it was the fact that he thought you hated him because he didn’t come from wealth that killed you. All of a sudden, you were frantically rethinking every interaction with him and trying to see what you did that made him feel that way.

The princess thing, the picnic…it was all just a ‘fuck you’ to your family?

It was nothing new. They all left in the end anyway. Sunwoo? He left. Mirae? She left. Your parents? You laughed. You never even had them in the first place. Why would Hongjoong be any different? You shouldn’t have been surprised. Yet, you were. Because you thought he knew you. You thought you knew him. And most of all, you thought he would stay.

---

Your eyes were listless as you stood in your parent’s living room, sipping on water, deliberately ignoring the obnoxious conversations happening around you. You didn’t even bother looking up every time you heard pointed digs at your love life or pointed nudges about Sunwoo. In fact, if you had been okay, you would have noticed that your mother was unusually warm. But you didn’t.

Her insistence on you coming home for dinner, her warmth, everything…it all fell into place when you saw Sunwoo walk through the front door with a bag of food. He froze when he saw you. Dressed in his old grey hoodie and black puffy jacket from high school, he clearly was not expecting to walk into a family dinner. His wince when he felt your aunt’s nails on his arm gave away the fact that he was very much unhappy about being there. You heard your mom voice out confirmation for what you knew she had orchestrated.

“Oh, Sunwoo! Is that the cake your mom sent?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Sweetie, why don’t you join us for dinner?”

Your mother hugged him and looked up at him in a way that made it clear that it wasn’t a question he could say no to. He could only gulp and nod.

He almost immediately made his way to stand next to you, leaning back against the wall. He tilted his head towards you and smirked. In that moment, a flash of memories flooded you. All those parties where you and Sunwoo would stand like this, quietly whispering and warning each other about potential boring and judgmental adults. He leaned in and conspiratorially whispered,

“They got you too?”

And normally, you would have played along, but you were so tired. You were so done. You were so alone. You simply nodded.

The way Sunwoo turned to you immediately knowing something was wrong was almost frustrating. He knew you well. Too well.

---

An hour later, you were seated next to Sunwoo at the formally laid out dining table. It was always formally laid out. No one was ever there to mess it up. No one ever rushed with warm food and accidentally spilt some over in their enthusiasm. No one ever fought over who got more food. No one ever laughed over the table. It was always cold and isolated. And your family liked it. They liked that it was a house, not a home.

You were forcing yourself to eat the food on your plate, tuning out from the conversation around you when you heard Hongjoong’s name. No one had said anything too direct about him, so immediately, without even meaning to, you started paying attention. It was your father’s brother who started it. Of course.

“Thank god I didn’t have to go to that party by Aurora Mists. That bloody upstart Hongjoong. I don’t think I could have kept a straight face.”

Your gaze stayed down on your soup. No one would have known a thing about how you felt. Except for Sunwoo. He saw your grip on the spoon tighten, and he watched you carefully, knowing you were upset.

You heard another voice chime in. And another. And another. It was too much for you to take in. You could only make out what was said last.

“He makes such a fool of himself. And oh my god, his clothes. They’re so trashy.”

Your voice was quiet when you replied.

“I like his clothes.”

It was so quiet that none of them heard you. No one other than Sunwoo heard you. He reached out to hold your hand, just about managing to comfort you, when you heard your mother sniff.

“His background really shows in his lack of taste.”

You slammed your spoon down, relishing in the stunned silence that followed. Your voice was louder this time around.

“I like his clothes. I like his taste. What’s so wrong about it?”

Your father looked aghast.

“But Y/N, he…”

“What? He what?”

“He doesn’t come from a good background.”

“You mean he can actually earn money without bribing half the politicians in the city?”

You looked around again, daring them to say anything.

“Don’t ever talk about my boyfriend this way again.”

You stood up, the sound of the chair grazing the floor making your mother flinch. It was exhilarating, doing the very thing she rebuked you for all your life. And you walked out of the room.

---

You were standing on your balcony, grateful for the peace of your locked room. You could sneak out down the tree and get away from them. You just needed to stop shaking first.

Subconsciously, you registered the rustling from the tree, but you still jumped when a figure landed on your balcony. You turned towards them, moving away when the figure stepped into the light.

“Relax, it’s me.”

And you did. You did relax the moment you saw it was Sunwoo.

Trying to keep the mood light, you forced a smile.

“You couldn’t knock?”

And for the first time since he got back, you heard him sound angry.

“Don’t.”

“…Don’t what?”

“Don’t pull this bullshit where you act like you’re okay.”

You stared at him in silence, registering what he said. He moved towards the wall and sat down, waiting for you to occupy the spot next to him. You did. He stared at you, finally back to the old Sunwoo you knew, with no filter.

“What’s going on with you and Hongjoong?”

You couldn’t look at him when you answered.

“We were faking being in a relationship to avoid a merger with you.”

Whatever Sunwoo was expecting, it was not that. He blinked twice.

“What?”

“Your family wants to merge companies. I don’t want to. But I’m under family pressure to merge. Hongjoong…he has his reasons.”

Sunwoo just nodded, staying silent. You knew he was waiting for you to continue.

“I caught feelings. And I thought they were mutual. But he hates me. And he thinks I hate him like my family does.”

You turned to look at him, and his heart broke at how tired you looked.

“I can’t do this anymore Sunwoo. I’m so alone.”

His voice had the slightest tremble when he said,

“No. You’re not.”

You couldn’t hold back the biting laughter.

“But I am. I don’t have my family. I don’t have you. You left and you never fucking kept in touch. I don’t have Mirae. And I definitely don’t have Hongjoong, but I was stupid enough to think I did.”

Sunwoo stayed silent for a minute before he turned towards you.

“You know why I was trying for the merger? I couldn’t care less about it. I just thought it might give me a shot with you.”

You turned towards him, confused.

“You know why I was trying to be flirty and suave? Because I was desperately trying to impress you. You want to know why I didn’t keep in touch? Because I panicked.”

He was pale and looked nervous enough to throw up, but determined to continue. Your gaze flickered down to the vein straining against the skin on his neck. He was clearly upset.

“I panicked because I’ve fucking been in love with you ever since I was thirteen. So, no, I’d say you definitely have me.”

His eyes went down to your lips before turning away.

“My parents won’t push it if they see you with Hongjoong, so I’ll make sure they’re there at the next event you attend with him. You don’t have to put yourself through this anymore.”

Your mind was blank. You really couldn’t comprehend what just happened. But you did know Sunwoo was upset and out of reflex, you pulled him in for a hug.

“Sunwoo, I’m sorry, I”-

He hugged you tight, desperately trying to take in every bit of you.

“Y/N, it’s-it’s okay.” He took a shaky breath. “I know you don’t feel that way about me right now. Maybe you will someday. Maybe not. And I swear we can put this behind us. Things will go back to normal, no matter what you feel for me. But '', he looked up at you with feral eyes ``use me. You can use me to get over Hongjoong.” He brought your hands to his chest. “Use me however you want to get over Hongjoong.”

---------------------------------

Any unlawful and unauthorized sharing of these works will result in legal action.

(Reblogs are good :) )

#hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x y/n #ateez angst #ateez fluff #hongjoong series #ateez series #idiots to lovers #rivals to lovers #fake dating au #hongjoong scenarios #ateez scenarios #sunwoo angst

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artpastmidnight · 2 years

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my poor 1st generation iPad that i bought refurbished is on its last legs. i’m going to have to buy a new one, but i’m really playing around with the fact that i can engrave it if it’s from apple.

i want to add an art quote for it bc that’s what i use it for, but “is my human suffering sexy enough for you God? is it getting you off king” is so funny it is in my list of possible quotes.

other art quote options are:

“stop wasting time trying to ‘find yourself’ rather than actively ‘creating yourself’“ ━ therapist

“silence your mind. pick up a pencil, and draw.”

“when you have nothing to say, DRAW SOMETHING!”

“creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence” ━ Osho

“an artist can show things that other people are terrified of expressing” ━louise bourgeouis

“i make art to show my soul that i am listening”

“unused creativity is not benign. it metastasizes. it turns into grief, rage, judgement, sorrow, shame.” ━ brené brown, phd, lmsw

“create something today even if it sucks”

“art is you being free from all of the world’s heaviness.”

“the work of art is a scream of freedom”

“creativity is not a mood. creativity is not a gift. it’s the very nature of god inside you.” ━ dan maccollam

“art should be something that liberates your soul.” ━ keith haring

“when you overthink it, you lose the essence of it. JUST PAINT IT!”

“art has no rules”

“artists give people something they didn’t know they were missing” ━ daniel pink

“to live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” ━ joseph chilton pearce

“a work of art is the trace of a magnificent struggle.” ━ robert henri

“if a story is in you, it has got to come out.”

“stay loyal to your creativity because it’s a gift” ━ pharrell

“art reveals who we are and who we long to be.” ━ erwin mcmanus

“painting is self-discovery. every good artist paints what he is.”

“being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them.” ━ annette messager

“when it comes to art, it’s important not to hide the madness”━ atticus

“the act of creating something is always more important than the result!”

“art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” ━ cesar cruz

“art is the only way to run away without leaving home.” ━ twyla tharp

“you gotta make a lot of stuff before you can make stuff like yourself” ━ timothy goodman

“art never comes from happiness” ━ chuck palahniuk

“create the things you wish existed”

“PAINT FIRST. then think”

“two cakes theory” ━ tumblr

i chose shorter art quotes bc there’s only so many words that can fit in an iPad engraving, but if you want to see some other ones, you can search “#favorite quotes” on my blog.

if anyone wants to help me pay for this thing by commissioning me, please contact me :’)

let me know which quote you like!

#favorite quotes #art quotes

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ppersonna · 3 years

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anniversary ff!

hi everyone! i missed my yearly milestone by a month because i was too busy with life to make note of it. i joined tumblr end of march/early april 2020 when the lockdowns became real and i was struggling with feeling lonely and isolated. i remember MOTS:7 had come out and i didnt feel like i had anyone to talk to about it and decided to hop back on tumblr to meet people who loved bts.

and here we are, one year later and almost 10k of you later. i’m so lucky and blessed to have gotten to know you all and be able to connect with you all. thank you for reading my fics, for your comments, reblogs, DMs, asks, discord messages, etc. you mean the world to me and i love our community here.

i’d like to shout out the people i love to follow and love to see on my dash, but please rest assured this is by no means an exhaustive list. i’d love to follow as many of you as i can and i’m always following more people who i can connect with.

so, without further ado--

(ps thanks to @hongism for this sexy sexy banner)

to my solid groups of friends who i talk to every single day-

the tiger wives- @untaemedqueen @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia - you three have been the OGs since day one. i don’t think i’d still be on tumblr if i didnt have you three in my life. i certainly wouldn’t have half the fics i’ve posted without your insight, support, hype and superior editing and brainstorming skills. i love our friendship and i hope everyone has friends as lovely and dedicated as you all.

my ratties - @hongism @nomseok @ughseoks - truly i would be lost without our chaos. i love talking to you three every day/every hour/every minute of my life. you all have been by my side through so much and i hope i give you back everything you give to me. i am so so lucky to have fallen into this chaotic little group and i love our weird, sometimes too close, sometimes scary friendship. i love youuuuu :lainey:

to my loml- @kimtaehyunq - my sweet mags. you’ve been such a solid friend for me and i am SO blessed to know you. we have our ups and downs and i love that we can always circle back to the true essence of our friendship. thank you for your love, your advice, your support, the laughter and the jokes we have together. i am so thankful for you and love you 3000.

to my niah- @agustdef i truly dont know where i’d be without you. you mean SO much to me and i know we joke about me simping for you 24/7 but its true. you’re so passionate and strong and cool and i love being your friend. you make me laugh even when i feel like shit and you’re always ready to fight me or fight for me. i truly love our friendship and the way we interact. i love you very very much.

to some new friends and cherished friends- @kithtaehyung @papillonsgf @thejooncrew @cremeandsuga @salvejoon @chimoona @sombreboy @carly-bean-blog @imyourhobiii @jinned @minloop @joonsrack @joontopia @introtae @k-hongjoong @gyukult @staywithmoon @ressjeon @lovetrivia @jimidol @r-m @bangtantaegi @taemaknae @seokjinniekim @trustingofwinds @honeyj00ns @hesperantha @wwilloww @hauntedlilies @missgeniality @ttaechwita @propinqxity @underthejoon @lamourche @blueversailledreams @cutechim @jinterlude @kkulmoon @ttttaehyungie @j-sope @astrojoong @ssnakehandss @pjmsdior @luffles424 @rkivemagic

i love you all so very much. im so grateful to know you all and talk to you all on whatever basis we do. i hope i didn’t forget anyone but i love love love so many people and often cant keep track LOL. i love you guys. thank you for being with me here on this blog and for the love you consistently show me.

thank you for a year of joy in an otherwise dreary year. i love you!

#follow forever #lindy's anniversary #a ha ha

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autumnrose-40 · 3 years

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BOY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ari/Male Reader ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ari thought it was cute really. You could not keep a secret, he’s seen your glances, your looks. The cute young thing you were, he almost felt bad, he was at least ten years older then you, maybe more, but dam if he didn’t want you.

He’s caught you checking him out while he worked out, the way your eyes would take in all of him, but even more so his dick. Ari wasn’t a small man, but he’s caught you more then once checking out what he’s packing and he can’t help but preen, even if he wants to laugh at how cute you are when you try to act like you did no such thing.

You clearly want him, you clearly like what Ari has, he wonders if you have a size kink, you don’t eye up anyone else but him and he’s the biggest person on this mission. It’s slow right now, the mission in a lull.

It’s frankly a milk run, Ari is all but babysitting you sense it’s your first mission with him and Ari’s team. That works out nicely for Ari, he plans to have you tonight, if you’re willing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You blush bright red when Ari corners you in your room. Towering over you. He’s huge, you are short compared to him, but then plenty are. He’s a bear of a man, and he is a man, the very essence of one. You swallow thickly as he stands so close you feel his body heat. He’s come in from taking a swim and he’s only in wet swim trunks.

His chest bare, and fuck what a chest it was, so much hair, makes you wanna run your fingers through it or lick him, either way. And the sheer size of him, fuck it drove your crazy, he was just so big.

You swallow thickly when his arms cage you in against the wall behind you as you peer up at him, the way the moonlight was making his longer hair nearly glow, his beard looking extra soft, it’s all you can do not to climb him like a tree.

He was your boss....it wouldn’t be right....but fuck the way he’s looking at you, maybe he wants you too, his little smirk as he leans closer and noses at your jawline makes you shiver in want, “You want me kid?”

You whimper nodding, “Words little boy, when daddy ask you something you answer me with words.” he whispers roughly, lips brushing your ear.

You whine as you nod again, “Yes.....yes daddy.”

Fuck you didn’t even know you would like using that word, what was happening to you, when he starts kissing softly over your neck, you tilt our head giving him more room, “Good boy.” he whispers and fuck, your brain lights up.

He laughs softly, “You’re so hard honey, want me so bad huh?”

Your eyes flutter closed, “I do...so much.”

“Hmmmm, you like how big I am don’t you darling?”

You nearly cry when he says it, your secret, easily found out, fuck, you can’t even be upset over it beyond being embarrassed, you whimper finding words hard, your blush so bad, “Awww, little boy it’s ok, daddy’s flattered, you like how big my body is huh?”

You whimper and shiver as he keeps nibbling and licking over your neck, hands roaming your body now, “I do.” you whisper.

When he rolls his hips into you, you don’t miss it, of course you don’t, “You like how big my cock is too don’t you kid?”

Your eyes water, fuck, you wanted him so bad, he knew all your secrets it seemed but fuck you just want him, “I do, I do, I do.” you cry as you clutch at him.

“Shhhhh little boy, daddy loves that you have a size kink, I want you so badly and your little body.”

He finally leans back and you open your eyes to look up at him with a flushed face and watery eyes, “Need you.” you whisper roughly.

His big bear hands frame your face before he’s kissing you hungrily and all you can do is hang onto him as he devours you.

“You’re mine now, you understand?” he growls softly against your lips.

You nod, “I understand....please...”

That shark like grin is back again, “Good, I’ll take care of you boy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .

As some of you know my main blog for the time being is glitched away, so i’m using my backup blog, sadly that means all my stories on tumblr are gone, and they are only on my AO3 right now. I’m not sure if I’ll post fics much on here, but I thought I would reupload a few to get some of my shadow followers back.

. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#ari levinson #male reader #ari levinson x male reader #was a ask on my old blog

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wrienne · 3 years

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Official Post: Writing Comeback!

I was going to post this on Twitter but realized that it became way too much text to fit in a comfortable format there. Also, since this is the revitalization of my writing and Tumblr page, I thought I might as well fuse both of them together!

This will be a semi-long but official post regarding all my writing plans. For those of you who just want the TL;DR: I haven’t abandoned any of my Ao3 stories, in fact I’ve already planned for sequels for both AHPHand DL. I’m also working on minor revisions with TET and finally writing the sequel, The Essence Prince, which I plan on posting exclusively here on Tumblr! Tumblr will also be my all-in-one hub for all my writing and art and blogging!

Firstly, about Ao3!

None of my stories on Ao3 are abandoned! I have full intention of continuing and finishing all my stories. In fact, for I have a second season planned for AHPH and a sequel to DLas well! I know it's very ambitious considering how my tempo of writing has been the last two years, but my circumstances have changed drastically since then. Not to get too personal, but I’ve wasted so much precious time and effort on people who didn’t deserve it. Although it’s regrettable, I have learned incredibly much from this experience and I feel more focused and happy than ever before!

Regarding AHPH, I feel no need to stress the actual plot and story that I have developed for it, as I want it to be a pleasant, fun and comfortable read. I don’t wanna say anything about it, not even a tease as it might disturb the reader experience and the overall narrative I’m pursuing. But there is a bigger picture to the entire story and world, which will unravel slowly but surely toward Season Two. As such, you can expect AHPH to be a very long ride!

As for DL, I have hit somewhat of a creative block in terms of the story’s pacing. However, it is not meant for a long run, and I really want to focus on finishing it as soon as possible. You can expect more familiar faces to appear in the sequel, such as Namjoon as a Sherlock-esque mastermind/private detective and Hoseok as either a chief prosecutor/lawyer or criminal psychologist. The story will be about the case that Reader cracked during her time at the police academy and made her famous among her peers!

Secondly, we’ve got my refreshed and now active Tumblr!

All my writing, whether they’re meant for Wattpad, Ao3 or original fiction, will be posted on Tumblr first! So, if you wanna get a faster look at any of them or you want the convenience of one single place where you can read everything that I write or make, you can find everything here. I wanna use Tumblr as my one-in-all hub for all my creative endeavors, making easier for both me and readers to find all keep track of all my updates and stories! And, speaking of all my creative endeavors...

Thirdly, I have not yet abandoned my dream of making webtoons! I can’t say for sure when this dream can be realized, but I’ve got two stories in the making: The Emperor’s Bride and The Dragon’s Wish. Both are based in Korean culture, mythology and history. The Emperor’s Bride is set in a pseudo-alternative Korea where the almighty tyrant and mysteriously masked Emperor seeks his first bride in a trial of one hundred women, of which one is the main character – however, she’s only joined the competition to exact her vengeance on the Emperor. The Dragon’s Wish is based in contemporary Seoul where a failing acting student is struck by a falling star and finds her destiny intertwined with a dragon – or two. Some ideas for characters for The Dragon’s Wish are already posted on Twitter!

In general, I wanna do art and draw, so outside my webtoon endeavors, you can look forward to more than just writing from me in the future!

Fourthly, I have decided to finally get back to working on The Essence Series. It’s been a complicated project to return to out of personal reasons, and I’ve also developed vastly in terms of writing since I wrote The Essence Thief. As such, I’ve been going back and forth on revisioning The Essence Thief once more, or even rewrite it completely. This has caused me mentally to keep putting the sequel on hold, which I now realize has been a horrible idea. So now instead, I have decided to simply correct any minor errors that still remain in The Essence Thief and move on to The Essence Prince! And yes, name drop for the official title of the sequel! A new face will be introduced, as the last missing piece of the OT7, and the threat of King Kwang-Jin will be dealt with as secrets crawl back to surface! I will be posting the raw firsts draft/manuscript here on Tumblr as I write them! Feedback of all kind is what I will be needing, but also the pressure and expectations from readers in order to get me to write! The final result of The Essence Prince will be a published book and sequel to The Essence Thief, so I hope you’ll be looking forward to that!

Lastly, I will be using Tumblr as a blog as well. I want to post travel and college stuff and other things unrelated to my writing and art. In regard to my previous series on my WordPress, “Writing Wednesdays”, is something that I am also considering, but let me know what you think!

Always and forever, thank you for reading! If you reached this far, I want to tell you once more how happy and fortunate I feel having so much support for my writing. It means, literally, the world to me. Thank you.

#official post #wrienne

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katierosefun · 3 years

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i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.)

k-dramas:

beyond evil

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will.

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have.

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that.

the crowned clown

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic.

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related.

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this.

d.p.

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright.

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!)

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important.

squid game

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.)

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.)

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing?

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS)

star wars: visions

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists.

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars.

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)

#caroline recs #a few days late but here it is!

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mymelodyheart · 3 years

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Miles Between Us Chapter 7 ~All In A Day's Work~

WARNING: MILD SEXUAL CONTENT

Previously in A Wrinkle of Time

"You have my blessings. Conditions are, there should be once a week phone-calls. Video or facetime ones or whatever you call it. And when I'm on British soil ..."

Jamie suddenly straightened up on his seat. "We'll visit, or ye can come and stay with us."

Quentin shot up on his feet. "Very well then, welcome to the family, Fraser. Go and get your dinner ...you wouldn't want your wife ..." he coughed, his face turning red. "...I mean your girlfriend reheating what she's just lovingly made."

Jamie got up as well, ready to shut the laptop, relief and confusion at the sudden turn around washing over him in waves. What the fuck just happened? Too bewildered for words, "Of course," was all he could muster.

Quentin hesitated, as if in search of the right words, his throat working overtime. When he finally spoke, Jamie couldn't help but hear the emotion in the older man's voice. "If Claire's father was alive today, he would think his daughter has made a fine choice."

His jaw dropped involuntarily. "He would?"

If you wish to read this on AO3, here is the link.

If you wish to read this from the beginning:

AO3 link

Tumblr link

Claire sat at her desk in her newly built writing studio, contemplating what to do about Thomas Christie next. For the past couple of days, she'd attempted to reach the elusive blogger by all means of communication: phone calls, email, comments on his posts and private messages in his Instagram and blog account. But her efforts, to her frustration, were to no avail. She'd even asked around the village for information on his whereabouts, but each answer led to nowhere. Though he had a resident address, it's quite apparent he wasn’t in. She'd thought of asking Jamie for help but decided not to. It was her project, and she's determined she would accomplish it with her own research skills.

Sighing, she leaned back against her seat and stared at the ceiling. Her boss, John, was counting on her to convince Christie to publish with Dreamweaver Publishing, and so far, she had nothing to show. Looking out the window facing the open fields, her gaze settled on the tractor bumpily navigating a small ragged lane, the rumbling of the engine soundless. She smiled. True to his words, Jamie had more than adequately soundproofed her workspace, shutting out any distracting noise. But with no sign of life from Christie, her work had been brought to a standstill.

Ah, hell! Claire glanced at the time. It was already mid-morning, and she'd been sat there staring blankly at Christie's blog all morning. What to do, what to do? She switched tabs on her browser and looked at his Instagram account, and realised he'd just posted a photo circa a minute ago. She decided to strike while he was online and send a message. Go for it, Beauchamp! With huge calming breaths, she rolled her shoulders and began to type, her fingers flying over the keyboard.

Hello Mr Thomas Christie. My name is Claire Beauchamp from Dreamweaver Publishing Company, London. I have been trying to reach you for the last couple of days to offer you a proposal that may be of interest to you. Some time ago, we came across your blog, and after having read through the content, we've come to realise it has an enormous potential to become the ultimate guidebook to the Scottish Highlands in print. Your knowledge, passion, and enthusiasm for Scotland and your keen eye for photography have captured the public interest, our company and myself included. We'd love to assist you in reaching your highest potential and expanding an even broader following should you be interested in authoring a book. I will be in Broch Mordha for the next few days if you wish to speak to me in person, and I will be more than delighted to explain the details. Any feedback you can give me at this point would be highly appreciated. Best regards, Claire.

Thinking Christie would appreciate the option, she included her phone number and her professional email address and then clicked send. After going over her message, she randomly liked his posts and commented on a recent photo for good measure, hoping it would be enough to get his attention. Oh, please answer this time!

Satisfied for now she'd done everything she could, she decided to make a coffee. She was just about to get up when her phone rang, making her jump in the process. Oh, sweet Mother of God! She must be more on edge than she thought. Clearing her throat, she gingerly tapped the answer button on her screen.

"Hello?" she squeaked. Damn it! I sound weird.

"Miss Beauchamp?" a deep, heavily accented voice answered. "Thomas Christie here."

"Mr Christie! You called!"

"Please, call me Tom. I'm no' much for convention and formalities. May I call ye Claire? If that's alright."

"Of course," she smiled, regaining back some semblance of composure. She'd already prepared a presentation in her head, but looking back now, it sounded like a pitch from a realtor selling a million-pound property. She reminded herself, Thomas Christie was a nature buff and liked to live an uncomplicated life, if not minimally, when travelling around Scotland in his restored Westfalia Volkswagen Camper. If she'd learned anything from his posts, it was that he wouldn't be easily persuaded with a promise of fame and monetary gain. There's no option but to start improvising.

"I heard a pretty lass was looking for me," he drawled with a hint of amusement in his voice. "I was informed ye were asking around. At first, I thought ye might have been from the council trying to get hold of me because of my unpaid council taxes. If that had been the case, I would have made an exception and come and paid my dues after seeing the photo my mate has taken of ye. Shame it wasn't a better close-up."

"Photo?"

"Aye, photo. My mate took it when ye werenae looking and sent it to me. Ye are bonnie, I must admit."

"Oh!" Holy, is he flirting? Claire wouldn't be surprised. This man's charms had drawn quite a lot of female fans to his site, and it was apparent that he's attempting to weave it on her. He probably thrived in his devotees' admiration, making him aware of his own appeal. This kind of cocksure behaviour wasn't a novelty, so she ignored the teasing but attempted to maintain a fairly laidback attitude. "Well, as you can see, I'm not from the council. And if I were, I wouldn't be making a noise about it now, would I?"

He laughed out loud. "You're right. So, what can I do for ye, Claire?"

"Have you read my message?"

"I have," he said quietly. "But I want to hear from ye why ye think my blog would be good enough to be published."

"Well, as I said, your passion and enthusiasm for Scotland are very apparent in your writing. Your words are ... how shall I say it, so visceral. But I'm not going to lie, though. We would need to make a lot of adjustments before we could present it to the mass. A bit of tweaking here and there and ..."

"Tweaking? I thought ye liked my work as it is?"

"Oh, I do," she said hurriedly. "You misunderstood. We wouldn't want to take the essence out of your writing. It's just a process every book has to go through before it's published. Like polishing your sentences, making them smooth and clear, ensuring that they don't have unnecessary phrases and repetition. And of course, there's the design and typesetting ...oh, well, that's for much later on. It's all standard drill in the publishing process."

"I see ..."

When a long silence lapsed, she checked her phone screen to make sure they were still connected.

"Tom?"

"Aye, I'm still here." He took a huge deep breath. "And what's yer role in this, Claire?"

"I'm the editorial assistant for Dreamweaver, and I'm here to make this proposal and answer all your questions."

"Right ...Weel, ye see, this is my concern. I'm an avid book reader, and while I'm pleased with all the attention my online journal is getting, I highly doubt that my writing would make it among the best selling list, let alone would anyone, for that matter, be too giddy with excitement to buy it. So what's all the fuss?"

The ambiguity in his voice wasn't lost on her. He may be this self-assured, nature-loving, nonconformist bloke as he'd portrayed on his online travel journal. But clearly, some of that attitude needed to rub off on his self-belief for his art.

"Oh, but that's where you're mistaken," she reassured. "My boss, John Grey, is totally sold with the idea of your adventure stories around Scotland, and he thinks with the proper structural development, design and marketing, it would be a hit. Especially with your fans. The concept is refreshing, and it would be different from any travel guides out there. And besides, it would be an excellent boost for Scottish tourism."

He made some muffled noise and then cleared his throat. "What about ye?"

"What about me?"

"Are ye sold on the idea of my blog?"

Part of John's faith in this book's promising prospect clung to Tom's admirable physical qualities. But for her, that wasn't the main selling point.

She straightened up from her seat and leaned over her laptop. With a flick of her wrist, she brought her computer to life and right there on the screen was his Instagram account. She remembered John's words, Sell him the dream! But she didn't need reminding. Tom may not be the most proficient writer, but his contents were great, especially the picturesque panorama photos. She read a few snippets of his post and smiled.

"Tom ...this opportunity Dreamweaver is offering you would be great exposure for your travel journal. By publishing it in print, you'll be able to reach a broader audience. Your knowledge of this wonderful place is beyond incredible from flora to fauna, the lands' history, the weather phenomenon that can only be termed as typically Scottish ...the whole package is simply amazing. Your passion and enthusiasm for this place make me want to go on that adventure you so love …" She inhaled deeply, searching for the right words. "And I know deep in my guts your future readers would feel the same way. And that's what a great travel book should do, great adventure stories that inspire readers and challenge them to step outside the comfort zone ...even for a little while. This is the kind of book that could encourage people to explore, make them realise that escape from the daily drudgery doesn't mean expensive trips halfway around the world, and that adventure can be found in one's own backyard or a few miles trip down the road. I say you should share this with the world. And to answer your question ...yes, I'm totally sold."

She was out of breath by the time she finished, so she leaned back on her seat and crossed her fingers, hoping for a positive outcome. It was all now down to Tom. She didn't want to push, but the longer the silence between them went on, the more she felt like she was forcing him into a snap decision.

Ah, hell! "Look, Tom, there's no need to decide right now. You have my number. Why don't you think about it for now and call me up when you've made a decision. How about that?"

"I have a better idea. How about we discuss this further in person before I decide? Let's say ...over a dinner date?" he suggested in a low voice.

The word date resounded loudly in her ear. Oh, dear, God!

She needed to play this right without making it look like she was turning him down. Hoping for the best, she laughed nervously. "Of course, it only seems fair to meet first in person before you decide." She swallowed hard and squeezed her eye shut. "But I would hardly call it a date. We can meet at the Inn's pub in the village square and professionally discuss everything over lunch if that's alright. And just to be clear, I already have a boyfriend."

"Ah, damn!"

She flinched. "Oh, dear!"

He laughed. "Relaxed, Claire. I get it. Ye're taken, and I'm no' surprised. But ye cannae blame a lad for trying, could ye?"

"N-no, of course not ..."

"So business lunch it is then. I'm away for a few more days, so ye have to wait a bit more. I'll give ye a ring when I get back. How's that?"

Yess! She made an effort not to sound too relieved. "That's perfect, Tom! I'll see ye in a few days!"

"Great!" Then the line went dead.

She let out a massive sigh of relief. So damn close! Feeling elated at the outcome of their conversation, she shot to her feet and did a happy dance. She couldn't wait to call John and tell him everything. If she did her work well and laid out all the finer details of the publishing process and projected outcome, she knew Tom wouldn't be able to turn down the proposal. Invigorated, she immediately went back to work and began typing her outline. Ah, life is good!

..........

Jamie killed the chainsaw engine and pulled down his safety goggles when he caught sight of Jenny's car approaching. He had a bird's eye view of the driveway from the tree and could see everyone's coming and going. What the bloody hell is she doing here? She didn't usually come to job sites; nevertheless, he decided to come down since it was nearly lunch break. Wondering why her visit couldn't wait until work was done for the day, he gripped on to his harness and made a slow descent.

His sister got out of the car, stopping to greet some of the workers and subtly launching glares at him. Alertness immediately snapped in Jamie's shoulders as he realised something was up.

He dropped to the ground, his work boots landing on a combination of mulch and wood chips debris. As he laid down his chainsaw, he watched his sister approach and noticed the forced smile she had for the workers a few seconds ago, waning from her face. He braced himself as he waited for her to say something, unease slithering like a snake up his spine. This was definitely not a friendly visit.

"What's this I hear, ye havenae been attending therapy?" she hissed. "Have ye gone, daft?"

He glanced above Jenny's head to see if anyone was watching them before glowering down at her. "For fuck sake, Jen, ye're no' my ma," he said in a low voice. "Whatever's about to spew out of yer mouth, this is no' the time nor the place for this."

"Ach aye? Wait till ma hears about ye missing yer therapy!"

"Oh, what's this? We're back in primary school or what? Rushing off to ma to tell her everything. Why cannae ye give ma and me a break, eh?"

"The therapy is for yer own good!"

"I'm fine, Jen! I told ye that many times! What part of 'I'm fine' cannae ye understand?"

"Ye've been telling everyone that all yer life. Everything's fine ... I'm fine ... dinnae fash," she mimicked his voice, her face scrunching up. "Ye say that all the time even when, in actual fact, most of the time ye werenae. So why do ye suppose I dinnae believe ye?"

Jamie looked up at the sky and let out a massive breath. "Aye, there's truth to what ye say. But this time ...I swear, I've never felt better."

"Bloody hell! All this time, I thought ye've been attending therapy. I wouldnae have known if Geneva hadnae asked after ye."

"Weel, if ye'd asked, I would've told ye!"

"No, you wouldnae. And that's always been yer problem."

Christ, why can't she just shut up? He glanced up and noticed his men were looking towards them now. He tugged at the neck of his shirt and winded his head. "Jenny, stop! I cannae do this right now."

His sister stepped forward and was right at his face. "Ye think I'm telling ye off for fun? Weel, here's the news. Everyone wants the best for ye, but ye dinnae care, do ye? Ye're acting like one selfish prick!"

"Jenny ..." he warned, feeling hot and cold all at once.

"No, dinnae Jenny me ..."

"Jenny, shut up! I cannae ..."

"Ye could've at least had Geneva assessed ye. Is that too much to ask?"

Jamie shut his eyes. When he opened them again, he realised Jenny's voice had become distorted, and the grating sound of the stump grinder and helicopter whirring above his head grew more punctuated. Without a hint of warning, a bomb suddenly detonated inside Jamie, and his world began to move in slow motion. Seeing nothing but red, he was only vaguely aware that his angry bellow brought everyone in the vicinity to a standstill.

"What the fuck, Jamie!"

Jamie came to his senses when an arm landed across his chest. He realised Willie was standing between him and Jenny. He glanced at his sister, and her expression caused something inside of him to still. He looked down and saw his fists were two rocks, shaking as if prepared to do some severe damage. Oh, God!

"Jenny ...Willie ..." Jamie whispered. "I ...ah ..."

Hands curled up under her chin, Jenny's eyes were as big as saucers, and she looked terrified. Of me? His heart nosedived to his boots so swiftly, he wondered how he remained upright. The fury evaporated in an instant, and all that remained was shame. He'd felt that kind of guilt before but never with enough punch to knock the air out of his lungs. For crying out loud, this is my sister. What was I thinking?

"Jen ..." He attempted to reach out to his sister, but Willie's arm restrained him. Realising the cause of his older brother's concern, he forced his fists to unfold, aware of Willie watching closely. "I'm so sorry. Oh, Christ, I wasnae gonnae hurt ye," he rasped. "I could never lift a hand to ye. Ye must know that."

He swallowed a lump when Willie appeared reluctant to let him go. But Jenny patted their brother's arm, nodding to let them know she was alright. When Willie took a cautious step back, Jamie immediately gathered his sister into his arms and cradled her against his chest.

"Jen ...forgive me. I didnae mean to shout," he said thickly. "Ye ken I wouldnae physically hurt ye, aye? For Christ sake, ye're my sister, and I love ye. Ye looked so frightened. I couldnae bear the way ye looked at me ..."

"Jamie ...I wasnae scared of ye ..." Jenny whispered. "I was scared for ye."

He pulled slightly away and searched her face. "What do ye mean?"

"Even though ye've been to war, I ken ye dinnae like fighting and violence. Ye abhorred it. I was scared ye might do something ye might regret and make yer condition worse. I dinnae want that for ye."

Jamie stared down at her. "Jenny ..."

"Look, Jamie. It was my fault. I shouldnae have pushed knowing yer condition, and ye ken what my temper is like when it gets out of control. It's like ..."

"Like mine ..." Jamie finished off for her. Drawing her once more into his embrace, they stood like that for a while. Soothing, apologising and hushing each other.

Willie stared at them and shook his head in disbelief, mumbling a sequence of profanities. It wasn't the first time he'd seen their outburst with such intensity. But it was probably the first time Jamie had seemed out of control. Reassured that peace had been restored, for the time being, Willie spun around and left them alone. Exercising his authority at their workers, the older Fraser barked warnings that gossip coming from their workplace would not be tolerated and anyone found guilty would be subjected to an immediate suspension. And with that, he stomped off, leaving them all to stare at his disappearing form in shock.

..........

"There ye are," a deep voice mused.

Claire jumped, making her slam the fridge door and Adso bolt out of the kitchen. She took a deep breath before turning around.

"Jamie! You're home early. I was just about to prepare dinner."

"Willie didn't need me for the rest of the afternoon, so he sent me home early." His chest was bare and heaving and glistening with sweat. He must have taken off his top as he came in. "I ran all the way from work. I think I may have far too much energy," he explained, slowly approaching her. His hand reached out and placed it behind her neck, and drew her in for a slow wet kiss, knocking the air out of her lungs. His other hand slid under her sweatshirt and squeezed her breast. "Tell me, what am I suppose to do about it, Sassenach."

She pulled away from him and scrunched up her nose. "Jamie! You're dirty."

"And here I thought ye like me dirty." There was no amusement in his tone, and his bunched jaw told her he was on edge or maybe stressed?

"Why don't you take a shower while I make us something to eat, or better still, how about a bath to help you relax? I'll even bring you a beer," she suggested, feeling a tad concern as she eyed him questioningly.

"How about ye come and have a shower with me," he wheedled, tugging her closer.

She drew away and took a step back. "Jamie, I've just had one, and I'm all clean."

"No' a problem. I can get ye dirty in no time." Jamie hauled her into his arms as she tried to dodge. Squealing, she slapped his chest. Once more, his hands wandered, causing a tingling sensation to coast all over her body. "There we go, ye're as dirty as me now." Pressing himself against her, he inhaled her hair as his breath came faster, fingers twisting in the hem of her top. "Ye definitely need a shower now." he gritted.

Laughing, she peered up at his face, and what she saw made her do a double-take and swiped the smile off her lips in an instant. Oh, sweet Mother of God, he looks worse for wear. Something must have happened at work. Didn't he say Willie sent him home? Looking closely, she noticed he looked weighed down with need, and it wasn't just the sexual kind. It was something more and urgent. He'd had almost the same look the other night when he woke up from a fitful sleep, but she hadn't pushed to find out. His hands were all over her now, frantic and desperate like he was trying to grasp onto something to anchor himself, his breathing becoming more shallow and harsh, and his eyes beginning to glaze.

"Jamie stop! Stop right this second."

He immediately stilled and loosened his grip, shame marring his face. "Ach Christ, Sassenach, did I hurt ye? I did, didn't I? Tell me! Oh, dear God ..."

He was about to turn away, but with her hands, she forced his pained face to look at her, a moan barely subdued in his throat. She could already read what was going on through his head. No way would she stand by and let him take any blame, feel shame or guilt. Not this time. And not anymore. He'd made mistakes like everyone else and would continue to make them, but he needed to believe he was a good soul. This had to stop now. "Look at me, James Fraser," she demanded in a firm voice. "Look at me! Whatever is going through that damn mind of yours, don't you even bloody dare entertain it. Are you listening to me?"

"Sassenach ..."

"No, Jamie! I don't know what happened to you today, but let me tell you this ...shit happens all the time, alright? And sometimes we don't get to have any control over it. That's just the way it is. Tonight we're going to talk, even if it takes the whole bloomin' night. But first ..." Before she could change her mind, she stepped away from him and yanked off her top and pulled her leggings down. When she was fully naked, she took his hand and laid it on her bare breast. "Take whatever you need, Jamie."

He baulked. "Sassenach ...ye shouldnae want this in my state. It's wrong. I-I was too rough. I could have hurt ye." His voice sounded hollow and agonised.

"But you didn't."

He palmed her breast. "Christ, do I have a shred of decency left?"

"Do you love me?" she asked, undoing his jeans button. She saw he was already highly aroused and his skin covered in goosebump.

"With all of me," he groaned when she pulled down his zipper. "And ye ken that."

Determination licking through her veins, she stood on her tiptoes and spoke into his ear, her hand sliding inside his jeans to caress the ridge of his hardness. "If that's the case, what we're about to do is not wrong."

A voice raced through her consciousness, telling her this was the way forward. She knew he needed his control back before he would be able to speak to her. So she got down on her knees and pulled his pants down.

When he wrapped her hair in his fist and tilted her head back, she smiled. "Now, let's get dirty and exorcise those pesky brain chatter, shall we?" Before he could reply, she took him full in her mouth and worshipped him with her love, absorbing every frustrated growl that ripped from his throat and every emotion that poured out of him with every roll of his hips.

She pushed him to the edge and over until he found his release, and his loud cries echoed in the air. When he shattered around her, his body slumped onto the floor and into her arms.

Claire knew they had a long night ahead of them, so she cradled him, waiting patiently for his breathing to calm. Later after she bathed him, they would talk, but for now, she was contented just to hold him a little while longer, as she wondered how many of Jamie's demons she would have to slay tonight and if love would be enough to conquer his hell.

Dear Readers,

Thank you all for your feedback from the previous chapter. I know it was a bit deep and dark, but I really did want to do Jamie's condition justice, and I must admit, I probably got carried away putting so much emphasis into it. But that's just me, I guess.

And as for the latest instalment, I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think. I must admit it is moving a bit slow, but it's a necessary move to pull this story together as I cover loopholes and grounds. One day, you'll understand the logic behind it.😀 So have patience, my friends - all in good time. Stay safe for now and take care until next time. X

#melodyheart #wonderwall #milesbetweenus #ClaireBeauchamp/JamieFraser #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser #outlanderfanfic

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