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tiredstressedemotionalmess · 8 months

Note

top five concerts you've been to?

(just top concerts if you havent been to five)

GREAT QUESTION!! i have a lot to say abt all of these so sorry for my ramblings in advance but in no particular order we have:

1. MCR Boston2 - its hard for me to pick my favorite of my MCR shows but the setlist for this one juuuust pushes it over my first show i think. got to gear sooo many of my faves that night- SCARECROW and Deathwish and Summertime and Boy Division and Best Day Ever and Cancer!!!!! they played a lot of danger days song which obviously i fucking LOVED and idk something abt Famous Las Words really got to me that night. maybe its bc even tho our seats were kinda shitty that meant i could see basically the whole crowd as well as the stage and i just remember feeling so at home like "oh yeah. you all understand too huh?". i was also dressed as party poison that night so a lot of cool people came up to talk to me lmao

2. Set It Off at the Palladium for the Dopamine Tour - my most recent time seeing the boys AND MY FIRST TIME MEETING THEM!!!! they were all so sweet and they played an acoustic version of Bleak December which had me Felling Things. AND THEN THE SETLIST FOR THE SHOW ITSELF WAS INCREDIBLE AND THEY FUCKING PLAYED MISS MYSTERIOUS WHICH US LIKE MY FAVORITE SONG EVER OF ALL TIME AND ID RATHER DROWN WHICH IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVES AND FUCKING ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD WHICH WAS MY ANTHEM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL- and also Scene Queen opened and she was fucking spectacular and im really glad i lost my dad in the crowd before her set bc i lost my shit screaming along with her sings and he Did Not need to hear that 💀

3. Fall Out Boy at Darien Center - first time seeing fob the seats were so fucking good and i met so many cool people AND HEARD HEADFIRST SLIDE AND YOURE CRASHING AND 27 AND GET BUSY LIVIN AND- also i was at the park connected to the venue and i fucking left before the rest of my family to get some rest before the show. and literally as soon as i get to the fucking hotel my dad texts me a picture of PETE FUCKING WENTZ. IF I HAD JUST WAITED LIKE TEN MINUTES I COULDVE MET PETE WENTZ BUT NOOOO I WANTED TO REST SO J WOULDNT GET A HEADACHE IM STILL NOT OVER THIS MY DAD WHI DOESNT LIKE FOB SAW PETE WENTZ AFTER I HAD BEEN JOKING ABT JT ALL DAY GOD HATES ME BUT ITS FINE BC AT LEAST I GOT TO LOSE MY SHIT TO HEADFIRST SLIDE ONLY SONG EVER OF ALL TIME

4. Set It Off at Toad's Place for the Welcome to Elsewhere Tour - yes of course they're on here twice idc if theres other vands i could mention THEYRE THEM. this show was incredible, i managed to push my way almost to barricade by the end of the show AND i caught one of zach's guitar picks!! the openers were both killer too, but Cherie Amour in particular stood out to me so obviously i bought a CD after their set (which was SIGNED and i got to meet/take a photo with Trey and Brendan and they were both so nice it was awesome)

5. The Used & Pierce the Veil (i forget where this was and im too lazy to look it up rn 💀) - VICS VOICE LIVE HELLO????? HOW DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT IM IN LOVE WITH HIM RAAAAGH- and look even tho i love ptv im much more of a casual fan when it comes to them so it was nice bc i had fun during their set but still had so much energy left over for THE MOTHERFUCKING USED. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING WHEN BERT CAME ON STAGE MAN AND GE WAS HOLDING A TRANS FLAG WHEN HE WALKED OUT AND THAT ALONE NEARLY MADE ME CRY THEY WERE SO AMAZING IM VERY INCOHERENT ABT THIS SHOW BC I LOVE THEM SM IT WAS SO FUN AND I CANT WAIT TO (HOPEFULLY) SEE THEM AGAIN NEXT MONTH

#asks #ask game #SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I TRIED TO KEEP IT SHORT SO I LEFT A LOT OUT BUT MAN I LOVE CONCERTS #AND I WILL USE EVERY POSSIBLE EXCUSE TO YELL ABT THEM #HONORABLE MENTION IS MCR UNCASVILLE BC THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME SEEING THEM AND THOSE WERE THE BEST SEATS OUT OF ALL THREE TIMES #AND I BRUISED MY PALM WITH HOT HARD I KEPT HITTING/GRIPPING ONTO THE GAURDRAIL #the used #mcr #ptv #set it off #fob

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niteview · 3 years

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Send this to blogs anonymously and ask them to ship their moots with monsta x :)

okay hi!!! i know my mutuals that have gotten this ask have done this so im also just gonna (platonically) ship my moots if that's cool! just in case not everyone is comfy w/ being romantically paired w/ someone :'')

shownu: i think i have to agree w/ mädch on this one vic (@softhyungkyun) nd shownu are besties now!!! 🥰 theyre both v chill..(seemingly) unbothered a lot of the time (i wish that were me 😔)..they're slightly chaotic in their humour at times lol but u also cant not admire that abt them in a way?? it's part of their charm!!! i wholly think they'd make great friends :P

wonho: im gonna go w/ yoelin!!! (@choiseok1 ) there's smth kinda neat abt putting these two together bc yoelin was one of the first friends i made here & ive known wonho the longest in mx..i just think these two would make great friends??? yoelin has this rlly chill energy & i think it would compliment wonho nicely, they're both rlly sweet. iirc she also LOVES cats so she could meet yeoreum nd bom then <3 also idk if ive said ever this but she was one of my mutuals who was rlly there for me for those months w/o him; so i think he would be there for her like she was for me..she'd deserve it 🥺

minhyuk: okay i have two bc 1) u cant have too many friends & 2) he's mbbs bff ofc he'd have multiple answers :'')

i tried not to think abt biases at all here but alex (@korimi4 ) deserves a minhyuk in her life <3 someone who will be supportive but also rlly Fun to be around?? they both have a lot of creative outlets so i can see them making art together!!!! and as much as he can be a sunshine, he needs that love back too!!! so i know alex would give back just as much as he gives :]

i also have to say chelle!! (@2bosoos ) one of my most creative moots and one of the most creative ppl on the entire platform tbh so ofc i'd pick min, the most creative member of mx!! i think he'd LOVE to see her stuff be it her cool sets or listen to her big-brained-bebe theories the most!!! she's also rlly supportive of cc's here nd in her tags she's v energetic idk i think it would be a cool dynamic :'')

kihyun: okay maybe this is a bit of an..odd one maybe im completely wrong i think amy (@minhyukie ) & him could be friends?? imo he's the member that has the most of his shit together/lh & he always wants to help (he's the most active in the fc i think, he always has advice!) & miss amy always seems ready to help too!!! ive talked to mädch abt this lol but there have been times where she's asked for cc help & before i can type smth amys already there!!! i feel like ki isnt always patient lol but he can learn from her (that mx masterlist hello? that probably took FOREVER) & idk i think he can be someone to help her out for a change he'd be a rlly supportive friend :'')

hyungwon: maybe a lil unexpected but im gonna say rae!!! (@wonhoseokkie ) ik rae leads a busy life & wonnie is all abt taking his time ('it's okay to go slow' and all that), but theres a method to my madness here!!! i think he'd be a great listener, & he always seems to know what to say at all times; he's so thoughtful so i think he could offer her advice if she needed it. also i love it when rae comes into my inbox to rant or rave abt anything & everything so ik he'd listen to that too 😁💖

jooheon: okay mädch (@kyunsies ) paired me w/ joo & tbh this is just a ploy so that we can all be besties together <3 fkdjfjsj no but she & honey have this way of being friends (and great friends at that!) w/ a whole lot of different ppl nd personalities??? so i think they'd hit it off easily <3 also i feel like mädch & i never run out of things to talk abt i think it would be the same w/ him!!! :D theyre both loyal friends and i just know he'd always be supportive & quell any worries or doubts she may have abt things <3

changkyun: kyun was the most difficult to match idrk why..i think i'll say bee (@sohcean ) :o!!! hyungkyun are alike to me in that they always seem to know just what to say, & in their thoughtfulness, and bee is just that!!!!! they both write the most beautiful letters and while u know it's from the heart u also know that every word is painstakingly chosen..i think they'd bounce ideas off each other beautifully!!!! everything that kyun nd bee write are also v. comforting?? so i'd rlly hope they could be a comfort to each other !!!! :'')

@ any of u feel free to tell me why im wrong <3

#answered #anonymous #IM SORRY THIS IS LATE #also i feel like im not the best mutual to ask this bc 1) im horrible at keeping up w/ ppl #& 2) i simultaneously chronically overthink nd dont think things thru dkdjfkdks #like i also feel like i forgot everything i know abt mx when i got this fjjdjfkskd #but n e ways lmao i hope u all r having a great day nd that u've had a great weekend!!!!! :'')

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kinnsporsche · 4 years

Note

SHOW eastenders SHIP ballum CHARACTER callum

EASTENDERS

Favorite character:

callum highway baby

Least Favorite character:

ian beale die already

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

ben and callum

jay and lola

ash and iqra

kush and martin

chantelle and whitney

Character I find most attractive:

you really expect me to pick just one when ben, callum, whitney, chantelle, mick, ash, iqra, all the panesar brothers, and jay all exist???? i refuse

Character I would marry:

marriages dont tend to work out on this show damn, but whitney im love her

Character I would be best friends with:

callum highway

A random thought:

i want keanu to shoot callum so we get some gorgeous ben x callum angst and an angsty i love you and i want lexi to draw him pictures whilst he’s in the hospital ee get on this thanks

An unpopular opinion:

i really enjoyed ben’s “you make me want to be better” line, i know a lot of people disliked it but with it being a direct parallel to how he was talking to phil about how paul made him better and want to be better i really loved it

My canon OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!

Non-canon OTP:

chantelle and whitney deserve to be together let them kiss

Most badass character:

callum highway no doubt about it boyyyyyyyyyy

Pairing I am not a fan of:

mick and linda

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

linda. i used to really like her but especially with how she reacted with johnny first came out i grew to hate her so quickly, and i really don’t think they’re handling her alcoholism sl well

Favourite friendship:

jay, lola, ben, callum, and lexi!!!! give me more of this family right the fuck now!!!!!

BALLUM

when or if I started shipping it.

i was so vehemently against shipping it at first because i didn’t want to get sucked back into the ee-verse, but seeing gifs of ben when he came back convinced me. he’s a character i’ve always wanted to see on screen, he’s unapologetically gay and always makes gay jokes about it like me and so many other queer people do and i finally got him and had to let myself get sucked back into it and then shipping ben and callum was almost like a natural progession from there. their dynamic is so chefs kiss and i love them sm

my thoughts:

i have so many thoughts about them all the time lauren can attest to that we literally send each other paragraphs and paragraphs about them. the main thing about them that i love so much is their eye contact. it’s something thats so important and vital in their dynamic, they’re always looking at each other or looking for each other and even before they were a thing they were always making eye contact. it all comes right back to ben saying that he see’s callum but callum see’s him too and its something both of them haven’t had in so long?? nobody’s been able to just look at them and really SEE for so long and now they cant seem to ever look away from each other and they dont want to look away. the other thing thats so important in their dynamic is physical contact. they’re always touching each other like holding hands in the street or ben has his hand on callum’s thigh or callum is touching ben’s arm and shoulders because it’s such a reassuring gesture to both of them and they know they both need it. like, they both must be so touch starved?? ben has had physical touch, he’s super open about his sex life so we know that, but we know its canon that before callum he hadn’t just touched and been held in non-sexual ways since paul and callum has been pretending to be straight for 28 years and yeah he’s been touched too, but never in the way he really needed. when they meet in the park for the first time callum’s almost drawn to ben like a magnet and cant help but lean into him when he reaches out to touch him and the dam just BREAKS because he’s so starved of touch. and then when they get together its like constant touching because they both know that and its such a physical reassurance for the both of them and they’re not ashamed to admit that they both need it. ben isn’t tactile with many people, but he really is with people he cares about like lexi, jay, kathy, and now callum and i think that’s really important for their dynamic. anyway this got long and i could talk about this all day but i wont

What makes me happy about them:

we love representation baby!!!! and i love how devoted they are to each other, even if they show it in wildly different ways. callum is there for ben no matter what and chooses to defend him even when everybody else is against him, he sees all the good in ben where people would only ever see bad and chooses to stand by him through it all. and ben shows it so obviously whenever he tries to protect callum, like when he broke up with him because he thought he would ruin him and when he asked him if he wanted him to take care of leo. they both are so open and honest with each other and they really come into their own skin around each other. callum has become more confident and assured since they started dating and ben has become a lot softer and he isn’t afraid to be vulnerable now and everybody can see it. they both are two sides of the same coin and they bring out the best in each other!!

What makes me sad about them

oh don’t even get me started, ben is so fucking self-sacrificial. he pushed callum away to protect him even if it meant breaking his heart and callum pushed back and really challenged him even if it meant getting hurt more in the process. they both have had real difficult pasts and they’re so riddled with trauma and they could have so easily become closed off and cold but they didn’t, they both choose to love each other so deeply and fiercly

Things done in fanfic that annoys me

it’s not so much of an annoyance but people making them sound super slangy or cockney makes me squirm

Things I look for in fanfic

the characterisation baby!!!! @sunsetsover has the best ben and callum characterisations in fics everything she writes is so flawless.

My kinks:

i’ll never get over the fact that as soon as callum got back they stared at each other for a solid 30 seconds and then had desk sex in an unlocked office in the middle of the day on jay’s desk. also i would very much love to see one or both of them (particularly callum!!!!) get flustered over someone on the square noticing a hickey on their neck thank u very much

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

dont ask me this question the answer is nobody. they’ve set them up so deeply and their relationship is something thats so important and vital for each other that its hard for me to picture them with anybody else so seriously because of the established connection.

My happily ever after for them:

ben, lola, jay, callum, and lexi all move away from the square together and live somewhere else as a happy little familly because its what they deserve. literally any ending where they end up together alive and happy

CALLUM HIGHWAY

How I feel about this character:

i love him with my whole ass heart i would die for him!!! i really want him to get his own sl soon, particularly the ptsd sl.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

ben mitchell

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i love his friendship with lola and jay!!!!!

My unpopular opinion about this character:

let him be dark already, mans is dating a mitchell and actively keeping a murder a secret and the writers still expect me to believe that he’s a cookie-cutter butter wouldn’t melt guy?? no. give me more of the callum who beat the shit out of leo and knows how to defend himself. let him overhear someone on the square threatening ben or lexi and just decking them in the face.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

with the kidnapping sl i really want him to get shot, it would be an amazing parallel to ben getting shot in the vic and we’d get an angsty i love you from ben and some soft hospital scenes. BUT!!!!! i also want him to kick the shit out of keanu beforehand. he’s strong as fuck theres no way keanu would get the drop on him. maybe keanu threatens lexi or ben and callum threatens him and says if he even tries he won’t have to outsource his murder because he’ll kill him himself. i want ben, stuart, and jay to turn up and keanu’s got bruises and blood on him and callum’s just like “i wondered how long it would take for you to show up” just let him be the badass morally grey character that he’s growing into

My OTP:

ben and callum baby!!!!!!!

My OT3:

i don’t have an ot3 for them but i think the dynamic between ben x callum x tubbs could have been super interesting if they’d gone there

ask me things

#this got so long but i love them and i love talking about them!!!!#ballum #gemma tag #cylonbarnes

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boojersey · 5 years

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VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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comicteaparty · 5 years

Text

December 27th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 27th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST. The chat focused on Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood~! (http://www.inhibitcomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

there are many great scenes, but i am particularly fond of victor in the parking garage. specifically, i enjoy the unfolding of events once masha joins the party. i love the fact that victor freezes up and just flat out doesnt know what to do. not only does this fit with his character, but i actually think its refreshing for a protagonist with powers to still just be a regular person deep down who does not have the required training to deal with that sort of situation. not to mention i love seeing paulina's powers in action

spire

Agreed! The garage is one of my favorites too. I love how Paulina is breaking rules left and right- not just laws (lol) but all the concepts that have been established so far about how powers are supposed to work. I really want to figure out what's going on(edited)

RebelVampire

or is she breaking laws? as in the powers. obviously shes breaking the other sorts of laws like dont set ppls property on fire. but i will save theories on the powers for a bit later. i do enjoy that she throws a wrench already into what's established. tho i felt bad for victor that nobody is listening to him.

another scene ive been enjoying is the current flashback where victor is a bouncy child. mostly because i love how excited about everything victor is. like wanting explosions just cause its cool. and i think its just this real contrast that builds tension for the narrative since youre like "victor man what happened O_O"

spire

No one listened to him then and no one listens to him now. I would love it if someone took him seriously for once

I would also love it it someone let him REST

RebelVampire

yeah my heart really hurts for him. because ive been in that position of sitting there constantly trying to tell someone something and then being ignored.

although i really think ppl need to learn moderation in regards to their expectations for victor most of all

cause it seems like ppl either 1) expect nothing from victor and think hes a loser or 2) pull a nate and expect victor to auto be this extremely capable person despite not having trained for anything in years

Superjustinbros

*jumps in

Hello~!

RebelVampire

hey super!

Superjustinbros

Hey Rebel!

Pleased to be here~

spire

Hello~

Superjustinbros

And hello to you too, Spire!

RebelVampire

another scene that i enjoy was when julia, david, and victor snuck back in to the building to eavesdrop. on a technical level i liked the writing for it because it was a scene that moved the plot along but also served to show off the relationship dynamics that exist between those specific characters. so as a narrative construct everything in that scene felt like it had purpose to one end or the other.

Superjustinbros

I just want to say, the faces in this comic are incredible.

http://www.inhibitcomic.com/comics/2658763/chapter-5-pg-11/ Especially this one on the bottom right

And then they play bloody Laser Tag

RebelVampire

yeah the faces on the kid are really some fantastic exaggerations

Superjustinbros

Oh yes

RebelVampire

but suits them cause theyre kids

Superjustinbros

There's lots of fun to be had with giving characters over the top faces.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Victor has been shown to be a drastically different person than he was in his youth. What is the past incident that several characters bring up that apparently resulted in a trial and inevitably got Victor kicked out of Urquhart? What does it have to do with Masha, and do you think Julia was involved somehow considering she’s also at Earl Estate? Is it the reason Nate and Victor’s relationship soured as well? Do you believe the incident is what changed Victor so much, or is it several aspects of his life? Do you think any of this has something to do with why Victor has failed to improve at Earl Estate? Also, why do you believe Victor’s inhibitors are now failing him so badly? Lastly, do you believe his missions with Nate will have an effect on Victor’s personality? How so?

Superjustinbros

tfw it's already time to answer question 2

I'll stop posting these to the chat now

RebelVampire

well considering adult victor has some issue controlling his powers when hes emotional, im gonna assume something of that nature happened. potentially maybe to that bully who keeps picking on young masha. cause i feel like victor is gonna stand up to them or attempt to and get mad and then accidentally severely injure them or something. idk about julia being involved

tho looking back it looks like she has all her fingers as a child

Superjustinbros

That seems like a very good interpretation.

Considering he does shoot out electricity at impractical times, at least from what I've seen(edited)

RebelVampire

as for nate and victor's relationship souring, i think theres more at work than just this incident. i kind of get the impression that nate just kind of likes taking things out on victor even when everything has nothing to do with victor. but i think basically all this crap combined to shake victor's confidence and that's a large reason hes not improving. cause he just has no reason to be confident anymore.

spire

I think Vic's self worth has been raised into a precarious position thanks to being a gifted (in this case- super powered) child, and with how much his spark-outs are emphasized through the whole comic, something terrible must have happened with a spark and that lack of control was touted against him, which makes it near impossible to repair his self esteem

RebelVampire

yes definitely all that. cause i feel by and large that victor has just given up on himself. which tbf i dont blame him cause literally nobody is doing anything to help really. like theres not a truly positive influence. although to nate's credit i guess he's trying? just ya know, in a super bad way

spire

Lol yeah. That's a good way to put it

Nate is helping but in the worst way. Vic needs some genuine, earnest support

As for Julia, I suspect she gave herself frostbite? Noor is very strict about Julia forming ice around her limbs, and she must have been moved to Earl for a similar outburst of her own powers

RebelVampire

tbh i think julia has more control of her powers. from the impression i get anyway. i kind of think julia is just reckless and doesnt think her actions through. though i mean might of been an outburst too. i could really go either way. and maybe its both.

though frostbite is way more tame than what i was thinking happened XD

i was picturing more encasing an ice and then shattering said ice

frostbite sounds more reasonable and less horrific

spire

Omg

Julia just thought one day that it would be cool to be a snowman

She didn't consider the fact that she can't move. Once she becomes the snow man ️

RebelVampire

that sounds like something shed do. even now cause i dont feel shes anymore responsible than she was as a kid

which ya know narratively speaking is kind of a good contrast with victor in a way

spire

Yeah

RebelVampire

cause victor has no control of his powers but has a sort of reserved control of himself. whereas julia has control of her powers but is an explosion of bad decisions waiting to happen

spire

I love that about them. Despite Julia's recklessness I think it's good for Vic to not be sitting alone in his room 24/7

RebelVampire

idk i agree and disagree. its good for him to get out and socialize, but im not sure the ppl around him are well-suited to kind of give him teh space he needs.

tho tbf im not sure the estate is the healithiest place in general

it kind of feels like prison

QUESTION 3. Victor’s life changes a lot when he’s forced to join Nate’s team. Why do you think Nate is so vehement about having Victor as a temporary member on his team? Is he honestly just trying to help Victor, or is there is some other hidden reason? What did you think the way the retrievals were handled says about the world and its view on Variants? How might the first mission change Victor’s perspective on Variants and how they’re treated (if at all)? How will it affect how Victor deals with other team missions and/or the course of the story? Lastly, do you believe that Victor will be able to makes amends and bond with the team, or will he continue to be chastised and treated somewhat lesser?

spire

The way that variants are trained at places like Urq and Miller to almost solely police their own community is disturbing. Vic wants no part of it and it's perfectly understandable

Variants are monitored so closely through their whole lives. it's invasive.

RebelVampire

yeah. and i mean...theres a degree i want to be understanding. i would not want untrained variants just walking around causing accidents and such. cause theyve shown that their powers can be damaging not just to others but themselves and also all the property around them. so i can understand that variants kind of need a special thing going on for everyone's protection

but man do those places feel like prison

like when you cant even let someone's mom see their kid off

thats a bad sign

spire

In that kind of environment a variant is pressured to do whatever they can to appear trustworthy. Even if Nate is trying to help Vic out I think he's ultimately trying to make himself look better by helping Vic succeed

RebelVampire

that could be although i feel theres easier ways then making under the table secret deals. tho tbh i think theres a mix going on here. like i think nate does want to help victor and wants to see him succeed. but i also feel like nate isnt altruistic either. more like he wants to help victor cause he feels like victor is his one failure that he cant leave to continue to be a failure just for the sake of his own pride.

Superjustinbros

“I think he's ultimately trying to make himself look better by helping Vic succeed”

This thought caught my eyes

RebelVampire

although it could also be that nate sees something of himself reflected in victor. cause nate did freak out when masha wasnt just flat out listening to his captain's orders. and i kind of feel that reflects his own feelings of being unsure of himself

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

RebelVampire

but i kind of wonder if theres an issue of dormancy at play in all this? cause if nate feels like he's losing his powers and position soon, that could be a prime motivator in whatever he feels hes got to do

like hes running out of his chance to do that one super awesome thing that immortalizes him in history

spire

Ooooooooo that's a very interesting thought

Reminiscent of thinkin you need to be ultra successful by the time you're 30

I hadn't thought of nates motivation that way before :0

RebelVampire

yeah and this is kind of an extreme case of needing to be successful by 30. cause in this case its kind of true in a way. since im sure if youre a variant the powers are kind of part of who you are. but by 30 you lose that and essentially have to redefine who you are as a person. and i think thats more true with the way their system is set up since their glorified prisons are so life encompassing.

spire

Yeah. That's got to be terrifying, knowing your whole identity is going to disappear one day, one day SOON

RebelVampire

yes. or so were led to believe. cause tbf i got sinister vibes from that scene with the doctor checking young victor for dormancy. so maybe all we know is a lie and dormancy is not a natural process but something forced upon variants.

spire

OOOOOOOOHH

Terrifying if tru

Superjustinbros

Yeah that scene creeped me out a bit

and it just came out of nowhere

RebelVampire

cause i agree with young victor. why are you checking a kid for dormancy if you know the typical ages for dormancy

and i feel that line is there for a reason

spire

I wonder if he's still wondering that now, 9 years later?

And I hope he is

RebelVampire

maybe hell remember it

Superjustinbros

Exactly, Rebel. (about the dormacy part)(edited)

RebelVampire

cause to tie in the 2nd part of that question, i def think victor is on the path to see the injustice in how variants are treated

those facial expressions in the van were already on the extreme i feel sorry for these people side

QUESTION 4. Inadvertently, Victor becomes involved with a dangerous arsonist named Paulina. What do you think Paulina’s powers are? Is she a pyro as many believe, or is there something funky going on with her powers like Victor believes? Why do you believe Paulina attacked Miller, and why do you think she’s so desperately looking for Chalice? Where do you think Paulina even came from given she isn’t declaring any facility as her origin? Why, of all people, do you think Paulina went to Victor specifically for help? Given Victor gets Julia involved, how might the residents of Earl Estate affect Victor helping Paulina or not? In general, do you believe Victor will help Paulina or not, and how will this choice affect the rest of the story?

Superjustinbros

I'm going to say maybe she has multiple powers versus most of the other characters that only have one

spire

That's what I was thinking too

Superjustinbros

I mean she really is mysterious, since her profile is still //||?⁄⁄/⁄\ | on the site

RebelVampire

idk. i mean its certainly possible. but im also willing to think that she has one power that doesnt fit any of the predefined powers the world established. so like shes a new variant type. or that she knows how to use her pyro powers in a way that nobody thought possible

but multiple powers is still possible

im just more willing to error on the side of it still fitting in with established laws and we just dont get the full picture yet

Superjustinbros

maybe like dark/gravity powers, or some power that's otherwise considered taboo?

spire

I think ultimately Vic's going to be looking for some truth and working with Pauli will appear? To get him some answers

Superjustinbros

Considering het background is nothing like the others

And yeah, maybe that ends up happening

http://inhibit.smackjeeves.com/files/what.png I mean can anyone translate this(edited)

RebelVampire

no but its probably just for the purposes of making her mysterious

and wont change to not give new readers spoilers XD

spire

Yes I believe that's simply to keep it mysterious for new readers

Superjustinbros

Yeah

RebelVampire

i think victor will def help paulina, although im not sure i get the impression paulina is gonna inspire victor to look for truth persay. though if she gets him to chalice, i think chalice will make him question stuff.

Superjustinbros

Maybe, just maybe.(edited)

RebelVampire

i kind of get the impression that paulina didnt come from any facility but instead has been living and training outside the system. cause we dont really know the process by which the facilities collect variants in the first place. like obviously we see victor's mom bring victor. but like...was it the law? was it under threat hed be taken anyway? how did ppl know?(edited)

and without knowing these things i can think of a lot of reasons paulina just skirted by the system

Superjustinbros

Definitely could be something outside the system, since it's still a mystery

spire

I'm wondering if the only reason Pauli chased Vic down to Earl is because she has blackmail to make him help her find chalice. If she asked anyone else she's obvs get turned in to the police or taken home?? Wherever that is???

Well, I guess it's not really black mail. So I don't really know

RebelVampire

maybe paulina just picked him cause hes the only variant she knows now who didnt immediately try to arrest her

and tbf

victor is a good choice cause he would seem easy to intimidate into doing what you want him to do

spire

TRUE LMAO

RebelVampire

tho i couldnt fathom why she wants to find chalice. i mean the assumption is she wants their help. but maybe she super hates them and chalice is corrupt and bad. and that there is no good in this world. or something depressing like that.

Superjustinbros

lmao

Plus he's the protagonist

RebelVampire

paulina got super meta and said "hey victor you feel like a protagonist. you can probably help"

Superjustinbros

Protagonist Syndrome in a nutshell

RebelVampire

that makes me feel bad for victor. victor seems like the last person whod ever want to be a protagonist

just wants to sleep in his room instead

spire

Hashtag relatable tbh

Superjustinbros

Yes

RebelVampire

since we only have 4 mins left, are there any final thoughts to share?

Superjustinbros

I'd love to do the same lol

I want to say this has been a great read so far, it's got great characters, lots of emotion, and lots of charm.

(And lots of good expressions)

Good luck with the comic, Eve, it's really going strongly so far.

spire

I think inhibit really nails what it feels like to be pinned by the expectations put on you by all levels of society, but still allowing itself to breathe and be funny and so human

RebelVampire

i think inhibit is a great story with memorable personalities. but most of all it has a relateable protagonist whose inner demons can speak to most ppl, and watching his journey is definitely probably something that will inspire hope

unless victor dies

then no hope

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Eve Greenwood / evegwood, as well, for making Inhibit. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://www.inhibitcomic.com/

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Paypal Donation Link: https://www.paypal.me/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/evegwood

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, January 3rd, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups

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