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achilleasfury · 4 months

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Jiggy knows A-Yuan :( attachment

Tell me about this /sticks hands out my enclosure

OKAY SO!!

Honestly, i dont remember where the wen siblings were in canon when Jiggy was in Nightless city, but for fic sake, theyre there now. Wen Yao meets Wen qing, and while there is a lot of mutual suspicion they... get along? Theyre not best friends, but they help each other. Wen Qing shows Yaoyao how he can heal/help his own wounds and pain and also like. Basic biology stuff. That concept has already been there in a few wen yao fics i think?

Anyways i adore the headcanon that Wen yuan is Wen Xus son, so we r sticking with that!

Wen Yao is there for the birth! *waves hand around* he knows the mother (not sure yet if she'll be from the dafan wen or like. Just there.) And has been keeping her company through the last bits of her pregnancy, esp when WQ wasnt there to do it. Since he has thr experience from the brothel in hoth working with pregnant women but also birth? Something like that.

so when A-Yuans mother dies and WX is gone as well, when Wen Yao isnt working/actively doused in blood, he helps take care of A-Yuan and supervises the time WRH spends with his grandson.

So when WRHs state gets insanely bad, Wen yao is the one saying "maybe you should send a-yuan with Wen qing away so nothing happens to them,with all the fighting going on? :(" and WRH agrees!

During the last bit Wen yao doesnt see Wen qing nor a-yuan.

End of sunshot happens, jiggy gets acknowledged, whoop whoop.

[And here i mess with canon even more bc i cant actually remember when wgat event happens lol]

Something? Sets the Jins of earlier/Jin Zixun brings Jiggy with him when he visits the Wen Camp. He arrives shortly after when WN was used as target practice.

this is where the fic actually starts lol i put an exerpt here but this is very much a draft-draft so i'l probably fo "fuck these specific sentences" in like 3 weeks and rewrite it.

// not graphic character death (jin zixun)

He was breathing hard, and not breathing at all at the same time.

His eyes ran wild, trying to make sense of the scene before his eyes, trying to comprehend what was happening.

This, this should not be happening.

The child should not be here. it should be somewhere safe with relatives, all hidden away. It should not be here, face smeared with blood and dirt, holding onto Wen Qionlins dying body.

In his … was it terror? - panic? - distress? - he almost didn't register Wen Qing raising her voice at him, and his cousin - Jin Zixun - screaming something.

When he looked at the two of them, he was almost surprised to find his dagger buried in Jin Zixuns chest.

He was holding the dagger.

Stupid. Why did he do that?

“Yao-gege!”, the child, still clinging onto the, other, dying man, gasped, tears and snot dripping down his face. “You have to help him!

since jiggy does know the Wens pretty well in here, his reluctance to harm innocent/the ones he is attached to, i want to go into the direction of a big inner turmoil between familial piety and "they were the closest thing to an actually real and loving family i ever had"[excluding mama meng. Love her. Gorgoeus woman.]

Also, the even worse not-trust between jiggy and nmj, since well. Wens.

Also im trying to figure out how this situation could actually like. Give 3zun a nudge into healthier dynamics-ish?

Also nmj needs to see jiggy with ANOTHER baby in his arms and have a crisi about it. He deserves it.

Ideally ofc this all would lead to jgs dying early/jiggy being able to let go of him earlier, but, who knows! I sure dont.

I also want to give the lotus trio and jiggy a bit of a more relationship? Since wwx, his attachment to the wens and jiggy and his attachment to a-yuan will like. Kinda bind them tgt and i need yanli to 'take' jiggy in. Theyre great.

I feel like i forhot half of what i wanted to say but im in a anthropology lecture rn and its INTERESTING so ":D

#Mdzs #jin guangyao #a yuan #Wip #Herecticcryptid #Jiggy deserves a Big Sister Figure #Or a wife i guess #This is not gonna be focused on ships so who knows!#achillea writes

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haespoir · 6 years

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honestly, i’d like to start this post off by saying thank you!!! never would i have thought that i would ever reach over 100 followers,,, so the fact that i’ve hit 1000 followers seems so unreal to me,, so thank you guys! for supporting my writing and dealing with my nonsensical rambling!!

with that being said: in honour of reaching 1000 followers, i’ve decided to start a little series on my blog. i’ll be writing for five main groups: nct ( all units ), loona, twice, red velvet and the boyz. these are my favorite groups to write for though i’ve really only ever written publicly for nct.

i’ve complied a list of 60 aus ( most are from this masterlist and i’ve just chosen the ones that i like ) and 20 songs so just pick one and send me a request! note: most things will be written in bulletpoint and this post will serve as a masterlist for everything!

example requests:

“competitive au #1 w doyoung?”

“angst song #2 with sana?”

if a prompt is taken, it’ll be bolded with the name of the idol next to it! i’ll also include who requested it uwu basically, it’s a first come, first serve type thing! you can also request more than once!

ok with that being said,,, have fun!

songs

angst

01. [ younghoon | anon ] “love letter” jinsoul and kim lip

02. “push and pull” kard

03. “rumor” kard

04. “lady” exid

05. “see saw” gowon and chuu and kimlip

06. “walkin’ in time” the boyz

07. “hard to love” bol4

08. “destiny” lovelyz

09. “we were in love” t-ara and davichi

10. “dont recall” kard

fluff

01. “hi” lovelyz

02. [ donghyuck | anon ] “walk u home” nct dream

03. [ heejin | anon ] “what is love” twice

04. [ jaemin | anon ] “shine” pentagon

05. “imagine” bol4

06. “nevermind” jeong sewoon

07. “real man” the east light

08. [ doyoung ] “a girl like me” gugudan

09. [ yuta | @jenofanclub ] “heart attack” chuu

10. “the day of confessing my love” jo kwon

aus

roommate aus

01. friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted

02. my roommate fell nd broke their arm in the shower,,, what do i do

03. [ yeri | @najaeminclub ] new roommate cooks for the first time and almost burns the house down

04. overheard you singing in the shower you sound angelic

05. [ doyoung | anon ] your clothes ended up in my laundry and now im wearing your favorite tshirt

enemies to lovers au

01. you’re a jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order

02. [ jihoon | @lovejihoonie ] you saw me crying and you weren’t supposed to,, why are u trying to hug me

03. you come to the restaurant i work at and choose me as your server every time just to annoy me nd i can’t do anything or i’ll get fired

04. [ yuta ] look i know we haven’t said anything nice to each other for years and this is a bit sudden but can you hold my hand and pretend to be my partner for the next few minutes cause my ex is coming over and i can’t be on my own for this so lets just pretend we aren’t mortal enemies okay? omg, you’re saying nice things about me and your arms are around my waist and my heart is pounding in my chest and oh god no out of all the people i could crush on why you?

reincarnation aus

01. [ jaehyun | anon ] i meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time i’m meeting you when we’re the same age and i’m horrified that i might fuck this up

02. [ doyoung ] i skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and i know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back

03. [ yukhei | anon ] i don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog

04. [ taeyong | @najaemini ] we keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because i can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least i keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

height difference aus ( specify who is the tol nd who is the smol pls !! )

01. [ jacob | anon ] you were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’re both baristas and sometimes i have trouble reaching for things and i show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU

03. we’re in art class tgt and i just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding” we’re on the bus and im really not trying to take up your space im sorry i just have rlly rlly long legs

04. [ juyeon | @jenofanclub ] you’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious

05. you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die

competitive aus

01. [ jaemin ] we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust

02. i used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and im going all out for the next event

03. [ renjun | @najaeminclub ] a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if im going down you’re going down with me

04. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year i am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me i will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

05. [ donghyuck | anon ] we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you

06. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

college aus

01. [ momo | anon ] excuse me, I know we don’t have assigned seats in college, but I’ve been sitting in this one for eight weeks and it seems you’re in my spot

02. [ lucas | anon ] bless the spring semester stage combat class for practicing on the North Lawn, because watching my crush get sweaty and worked up while pretending to fight people really Does Things to me, okay

03. i was abroad last semester and forgot to fill out the housing form, but your old roommate dropped out so hi, hey, how’s it going, I guess we live together now

04. both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be

05. [ lucas | @najaemini ] we live in halls opposite each other and i keep seeing you changing through your window

witch aus

01. listen, i know im new at this and all, but you screeching at the top of your tiny frog lungs isn’t going to help anyone, is it????? don’t you dare croak at me in that tone

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’ve been friends for years, so are familiars are really good friends with each other too. nd recently, while we’ve been doing witchy stuff, i’ve noticed that our familiars are growing extremely close and being affectionate towards each other. that’s weird because like our familiars are supposed to represent our subconscious and that’s not how we feel about each other at all… right?

03. [ seulgi | anon ] i borrowed the broomstick you keep in your wardrobe, and while i was cleaning up some lint; it suddenly shOT UPWARDS AND SMASHED INTO THE CEILING WHILE I WAS STILL HOLDING IT AND IT WON’T STOP MOVING GET ME DOWN FROM HERE I SWEAR TO GOD.

ghost aus ( in which one person is a ghost )

01. the neighbours asked one time if I had any roommates and i said no and they just looked really confused because they can always hear me shouting or talking to someone. yea, my neighbours think I’m crazy now, so thanks for that.

02. we’ve been arguing for a solid hour about whether Amelia Earheart actually died when the plane supposedly crashed; i don’t care if you met her one time when you were in purgatory. that doesn’t make a difference!

03. my ghost is really temperamental so i sometimes just scream “FUCK OFF” at it really loudly. it quietens down after that.

04. i’ve become so used to all the weird shit that happens in my house that when i invited people over and you were just throwing books around in the hallway, i completely forgot that they aren’t used to it like i am and now they just ran out of the house screaming.

05. [ johnny | anon ] you’re a ghost and you scared me so much that i died and i literally rose out of the floor two minutes later as a ghost, now we’re stuck together for eternity and now i’m gonna beat your ghost ass.

06. CAN YOU NOT POSSESS DOLLS PLEASE IT’S NOT FUNNY AND IT”S JUST A DICK MOVE AND SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME EVERY TIME

you know them but you don’t know them aus

01. my friend can’t stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they’re hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there’s a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package

02. [ sana | @jenofanclub ] i’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and i flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and i definitely want to say yes

03. [ jaehyun | @jaehyunclub ] there’s an overnight IT person at school who always answers the phone when i call about a problem with my computer and i totally have a crush on their voice and their exasperation and ALSO the bakery down the street is always running out of my fave scones and the adorable person behind the counter can’t hide their amusement and i think it’s super rude but also super cute

04. [ lucas | @najaeminclub ] my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick

05. our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we’re both called to the principal’s office and whatever maybe i think you’re kind of cute but your kid’s a monster and ALSO someone keeps buying the last everything bagel at my favorite coffee shop 2 minutes before i get there in the morning and has heard about my plight and has started leaving me bragging notes about it

06. [ changmin | @lovejihoonie ] i hired a dog walking company and i’ve never met the person who comes to my apartment but they leave me really cute notes and they give my dog presents and i kind of love them because my dog does and ALSO one of the artists at this gallery opening is hella cute and i want them to paint me like one of their french girls

??? aus

01. [ jacob | @lovejihoonie ] im calling to cancel our date bc im actually in the er right now, sorry,,,, i mean,,, i guess u can come here,,,, bring me fries

02. we’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up

03. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park

04. [ sunwoo | anon ] you’re infamous for being an asshole nd i had to sit next you in class. turns out you’re kinda nice one-on-one.

05. i let you cheat with my answers on a test and then you got the highest grade possible nd now you owe me a HUGE favour.

06. i just got bowled over by your huge-as dog in the park nd now you’re profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off

07. [ kun | anon ] i kind of naturally spoil people and like taking care of them, you’re always getting sick in class / feeling down in class nd omg i think the teacher ships us???

08. [ yuta | @najaemini ] you always like to make me embarrassed by leaning in too close or hitting on me, but i’m used to it now nd one day i decided to retaliate

09. [ ten | anon ] ok so when we were little i accidentally mentioned that i had a crush on you but i always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this!!!

10. [ donghyuck | anon ] why are you so clingy people will think we’re dating- i know we are but you’re the one who wants it to be secret you moron!

11. [ taeyong | @najaeminclub ] i understand that you’re my bodyguard but that was a freaking FRISBEE not a nuclear bomb jesus christ- hey why are you still on top of me and why have i not noticed how beautiful you are?

12. you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me

13. [ irene | anon ] you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)

14. [ jungwoo | anon ] you have dimension-jumping powers and you’re mad that literally EVERY OTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF is dating ( insert idol ). then ur idol asks u out and is confused when u screams ‘FUCKING FINALLY, JACKASS!’

15. [ hyunjae | anon ] i suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me :/

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savemefrommyselfxv · 7 years

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Want to write but idk what to write.

Ahahah. Mm. Ok let's try to reply. - Ahahah. Mm. Ok let's try to reply. // Live in songs, live in heart, this is hard. But ahah why does "live in song" makes it sound like a goodbye adios HAHAH boo Hm see ok let us have me be truthful. I am baina baina, pendulum, much, between: 1) "And then once upon a time I was done. I wanted to truly pull cold chords." vs 2) "Homegirl. I don't want to lose this friendship." and then now its like idk ah, hahah I rmmbr one of my earliest early opensilvers I wrote about how I wanted to play the role of a lighthouse and a pantau and I wanna look out for you ish without being stifling. but then I also wonder if that's even my role to play and if it's my place to hold high expectations upon you and. See like when you said moral amphibian phase is back and clarke quay is a big hint to wtv like. Idek if I hm idk :( and ya la like see hahahah it's not my place to put disappointment upon anyone either and of course it's much a breeze for me to uphold instead the image of hey this boy is trying in his deen etc etc hahah but yeah. Truest true of companions would see us for the real us. So hm. (ahahah so ya lor actlly now that I do a quick scroll, much of my unpublished writes probs revolve around these themes) (I still do wanna know how your days go but yeah ahah idky I can't just drop u a text or wtv entah ego hahah) So ya ok lel but yeah I guess if we were "cool street friends" which means minusing all the fratata of fitrah flow, it's probs easier to accept you for you, and I wouldn't hold thaaaat high hopes for you but yeah while I'd still root for better, brave, righteous you who'd leave all vices and be protected and all, but yeah ahahah stupid eh why does it hurt to know you'd dabble in vices (ok la actlly idk if you do, so I try not to think abt it and I try to think of sunshine you and the seeker you and you with great ilm and advices and you with gusto and enthusiasm to crash good gatherings and you who'd help your mother and nenek and you. Happy bright you. But yeah ahah people are people and we each are whole because of our broken parts too but ala hahahah ah kk rambles)(maybe I should just publish my other previous writes that's probs more coherent) // But yeah ahahah but then I also rmmbr what you said about "oh if you think you're doing it for me then don't bother. It'll backfire and not worth it." // But then I also think about how you're one of the few who'd catch my more artistic poetic, life in symbols metaphors and multilayerings, and like ya hahahah you catch my thoughts and our frequency is decently good and ya la. Your mind is a wonderment and ya. The whole we vibe decently good thing. // So macam mana? Hahahah flow all ways but takut dried up but then again there's the whole "If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it." and Yeah ahah. I'm not here to play superhero, and yeah goes back to your "don't bother, backfire" thing And like I'd be tempted to just: "If I promise I'd go back to not pulling cold chords, and to invest more into being a friend/mirror/kindergarten/chillerdeepdiver who's there for you etc etc, at least for the next 3/4 months will you promise me to try your hardest to hustle hard, get it tgt in wtv ways, leave all moral amphibian and be the best you through baby steps and a journey?" But. Ya ah see I'm not here to play superhero and who am I la to impose wtv tho ykno of course I wish good for you :( and the whole "love for your brother what you love for yourself" and yeah. I once wrote how having companions journey through with us, is a great gift, through it all but hm. Idk idk idk. Ahahahaha ok la HAHA idk how to end this and ya basically idk I guess this friendship is too cool/precious to let it die but haiya haiya. HAHA Ah. :') + :'( oki. I liked Gene's class today tho. Ahah and then I also got a chance to hear ust Nuzhan share about qurban and sacrifice today and yay guess who is on part time security officer duty now .... Me :) HAHAGA aka night shift so yeah I guess I could squeeze in time to write either on trips back from work or night shift or off daysssssss ahah speaking of which how wassss the kidsexplorer thing AHA I didn't know you were into kids but yaaaaa twas one of those places that I would have applied at if I was looking for part time job or yeah the other one Id do would be like camp instructors ah. But yeah some friends weren't encouraging me to, cuz they were looking out for my solat etc which hm yeah I guess they have a valid point. so did you go for tafsir tuesday today? :) ahah. Aight ok until then here's to abrupt ends HAHAHAH drop me a text whenever ah or idk you could letter writes back but YA, HAHAHA I still think it's queer bcuz ruminating is for all to read whereas open silver is truly idk hahahah I guess only you read (but of course Allah As Shaheed) mmm but yeah. High key lowkey of such a friendship. Sirr. Unsirr. Hm. Ahah. Until then, mir'a (are we sure it's even the right word ahah) Ummmm and yeah ahahaha clarke quay. Hm hahahah. I rmmr I once referenced clark quay in one of my old writes. "Ask me How are you So that I could answer That lately I've been fumbling And losing grip of the 2 ropes And that the chilly nights So much so as Inspire me To want so bad Some companionship Upon sitting by the midnight river And drunkards backdrop And pretty lights of skyscrapers to speak of metaphor scars That recently have been peeling Today I figured I'd never actlly had a Chance and a one To talk me through that. Thorough and through to clean slates. /// 19 to 20 but swear, it's almost like I'm back to the square root Of 13." Aight. Until then. Ahah also(!!) the other time when I had the vivid dream there was this quote I'll just screenshot and post ah. It was intriguing but yeah. couldn't exactly figure. Until then until then. 3:12am type of incoherent rambles :"") (lmao my phone died and yada yada but ok here's to posting my writes) 26/7

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thedaysofmellu · 7 years

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GRAD GRATITUDE: WHYSOCIRIOUS 🙆🏼💖 - Wow. These past four years would definitely have not been made possible and bearable without all the lovely, precious, special and UNIQUE (hahaha) people that I've met in Soci. From entering Uni as a nooby Year 1 who didn't went to camp and didn't know anyone at all, to meeting MUSNUS by chance in Cultural Studies (OH THE DAMN AGONY, SCARRED FOR LYFE BY ADORNO) via a mutual Friend. Fast forward to the end of year 2 and going for Oweek, thereby miraculously finding zee awesome Amanda 💖 and Johnnyboi my soci-mates. Fast forward a little more and getting to know Kenny / Eunice / Kailin / Jiaxin, who made year 4 so much bearable and so dang fun 😭 Thank you everyone, for pulling through with me through all those horrible essays and tough seminars and almost impossible to accomplish group projects (eg human rights). Thank you all also, for being there when the going got tough and when we all were almost dying from our deadlines but y'all still found the energy and time to support me and each other. I think from the pics y'all can see how impt you guys are to me. You guys were the best thing I got from uni, and I'm really thankful :""") I hope even after graduating we will all still be in touch. But even if that doesn't work out, just know that I'll always cherish them memories of school tgt with y'all :") (at National University of Singapore)

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kyandice · 7 years

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CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well) Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it

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flipthispage · 7 years

Text

9 May 2017

I graduated from SP exactly a year ago and over the course of the year, many things happened, people came and left (as usual) but here’s to those who’ve played such a significant role in my life over the past year whether consciously or not but thank you simply for being you because you’ve helped me grow into someone I can honestly be proud of today. To:

My Roomie Thank you for the constant food deliveries because you’re scared I’ll forget to eat so I always wake up to breakfast on my table, & for the drinks that never fail to appear on Thursday mornings because you know I weak af & deffoz drank too much the night before. Thank you for the constant bitch-seshs that keep me sane during the school term because I’m honestly so done with school I swear I would drop out if I could (but then again so would you lmao).

Dino Club We rarely meet because we’re all in different schools/courses/countries with vv different school timetables we meet like once every few months (ok usually for birthdays) but thank you for being a constant source of support because I mean since we’re dying in Uni we might as well die tgt right? But thank you for always assuring me that I’m so much more than what I think I am, and deserve so much more than what I think I do. Thank you for always accepting me as I am & loving me exactly the way I am.

Rabz Kids Y’all always provide the best 356s in CQ & for that, thank you for being my unorthodox Uni friends but “we work hard & we play hard” & I swear we’re all gonna make it outta Uni alive. Thank you for being the bunch of friends that show me that Uni isn't just all about the grades & always reminding me to throw myself into the various school activities because that’s what Uni is all about - the holistic education & experience.

P.Oak I met y’all during hall FOC & tbh, I was v nervous & reluctant to come cos I’m an awkward turtle & was super scared I wouldn’t be able to click with y’all or make any friends but I’m so glad I grew some balls & came for camp (although I left halfway cos I fell sick & in the few days I was around, could barely participate cos I was sick af) but thank you for being so inclusive, & for being the most genuine friends I could ever find. Thank you for all the insane shit we decide to do like playing basketball & frisbee till 4am in the dark & overnight MJ sessions like we’ve no cares in the world. Thank you for the 2am talks we have that goes beyond the surface & y’all honestly give amazing advice although we’re all of different ages. Thank you for constantly saving my drunk ass, evacuating your room when I end up falling asleep cos I’m just tired af & for constantly making sure I eat well, sleep well & have friends to accompany me especially since my roomie is barely around. Thank you for the constant wake up calls so I have a minuscule chance of making it to class even if it means y’all having to climb 4 stories & wait for me to get outta bed which takes a full 10min.

NTU Pool & Snooker I was reluctant to continue playing pool when I came to Uni but Leonard convinced me to & I’m honestly thankful that I did. Thank you for being some of the most concerned and genuine seniors I could ever ask for - from cooking & delivering it to me because I’m a loser & cannot cook, to walking from extension to my hall (& let’s just say i will never do that) because I’m hungry but rushing an assignment & macs didn't want to deliver to me, & for all your timely texts that assure me that I don’t have to go through everything alone.

Leonard, you’ve been there from the very start of my tertiary education & the friendship we share is unorthodox many cannot comprehend but thank you for fighting for this friendship. Thank you for the many times you convinced me to keep playing pool even when I was discouraged at my inabilities and ended up crying during training because I couldn't clear a drill, & for making the walk across campus because I was having a mental breakdown from trying to deal with school.

Kristel, for the friendship we share that no one believes we only met 6 months ago. Thank you for studying hard & playing even harder with me throughout the semester, for being that assuring voice when I doubt myself, & constantly making sure that I do exactly what is best for me when I feel that I’m not doing enough for the people around me.

& to my most recent friend/acquaintance, J, you brought some much laughter and smiles into my life when we met, but you were also the reason behind my broken heart, sleepless nights and the many days I spent, crying, wondering why I simply wasn't good enough. But nevertheless, thank you for coming into my life (& up till now, I don’t know if you’ve any intention of staying) because you taught me what it meant to let someone in emotionally, something I haven't done since my breakup in 2015. You showed me what it meant to allow yourself to be loved and to be vulnerable all over again and although you broke my heart, it gave me the chance to prove to myself exactly how strong I am. I’m mending this broken heart of mine & yes, there are days that I miss having you in my life the way you were when we met but for now, I’m healing and growing. But I’ll keep the promise I made from the very first day we met - that I’ll always be there for you no matter what & it’s a promise I intend to keep even if we do lose contact & I never see you again, should you need someone 5, 10 years down the road, drop me a text/call and I’ll be there.

So a big big shoutout to all the MVPs (there are so many more but it’s getting late & I’m tired) but THANK YOU! & year 1 over and out. HELLO SUMMER!!

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