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hazbin-but-good · 23 days

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another hazbin hotel rewrite/redesign?

yup! and i'm so serious about it that i made a whole blog for it. i'm a white queer ex-cath tran doing this as an art and writing exercise, so feedback from other creatives + jewish and/or racialized folks is especially welcome.

i'm putting this post and only this post in the main tags for visibility. also, not gonna link my main, but i do make my own original stuff, and i encourage fans and haters alike to do the same.

anyway, here's a mostly good-faith 1.7k-word essay on the original. i think it's pretty funny and brings up some less talked-about points. correct me on the facts, disagree with my opinions, and ask clarifying questions, but don't come at me with any piss-poor reading comprehension.

the hellaverse is garbage, and here's why

cw: strong language, stronger opinions, intersectional feminist critical discourse analysis

1. vivienne medrano, the person

medrano was born as a well-off white-passing latina (salvadoran-american) in bougieass frederick, maryland. while attending new york's top art school, she got popular on deviantart-tumblr-twitter by being a prolific multifandom fujoshi furry who's more into ornamental character design than storytelling. upon graduation, she leveraged her fanbase and industry connections to make the hazbin and helluva boss pilots, get helluva made for youtube, and get hazbin made for amazon prime.

like every woman online, she gets harassed for no good reason, and as a certified autist, i will defend her right to be dumb, weird, annoying, and bad with words. however, there are legit reasons to criticize her:

racism, misogyny, homophobia, fatphobia, some antisemitism, past transphobia, past ableism

shitty boss, bad friend

cowardly, vindictive, manipulative, thoughtless behavior

skeevy friends

sucks at taking criticism

in short, i think she desperately needs a PR person and someone to clean up her digital footprint.

2. medrano's art

incurious

inauthentic

noncommittal

creatively stagnant

overindulgent, and the indulgence isn't even fun

shallow and childish framed as complex and mature

bland and boring framed as shocking and subversive

to be clear, i'm at peace with the existence of suckass art like this; i just think the money, attention, and praise it gets are unearned and should go to more interesting works, of which there are infinite.

medrano's had the time, money, and social cache to grow as an artist, learn from the best, and take creative risks, but she hasn't. if she truly has nothing more to offer, she should let her collaborators take the wheel, but she doesn't do that either. instead, she keeps getting more and more resources to make the same baby bullshit, and that pisses me off. she could be the nicest person ever, and this fundamental arrogance would still make her art blow.

stop with the pointless guilt: liking medrano's work does not make you stupid or evil. however, if you stay in the kiddie pool of culture, if you refuse to engage with a diversity of art, if the hellaverse is your point of reference for anything media-related, you can't expect to have your opinions on art, media, or culture taken seriously. you have not earned a seat at the table. you gotta hit the books first.

i cannot emphasize enough how much incredible stuff is out there if you're willing to look further than what social media and streaming services put right in front of you. if you come away from this blog having learned about just one new artist or piece of art, i'll be a happy camper.

3. the hellaverse

a. empty and confused

hazbin and helluva's content and marketing has no clear target audience. the subjects are inappropiate for teens, but the execution is too childish for adults, and lemme tell you what i don't mean by that, first.

not inherently inappropriate for teens:

sex and sexuality

violence, including when it intersects with the above

politics and religion

not inherently childish:

animation (any style)

comedy

episodic writing and/or loose continuity

young characters

fun, happiness, optimism, the power of friendship, cuteness, tenderness, sincerity, etc.

what i mean is that these shows are literally about adult characters who fuck, smoke, drink, do drugs, go clubbing, work full-time, manage their own finances, and deal with stuff like bureaucracy, sexual violence, domestic abuse, marriage, divorce, late adoption, and family estrangement.

however, none of these "adult" things are given enough specificity to create drama or comedy. it's all too stock, vague, flat, weirdly sanitized, and thus utterly banal—pure aesthetics on top of bad saturday morning cartoons. it's exactly what i'd expect from a sheltered disney kid who needs to log off and get into their local gay scene ASAP so their only contact with things like poverty, policing, addiction, and sex work stops being facile movies and TV.

if the shows were aware of this and played with it, that could be amazing, but they're not. they give you the mickey mouse version of the world with a straight face and then play looney tunes sound effects to try to make you laugh and sad_violin.mp3 to try to make you cry. now that's funny.

b. old and tired

let's make like americans and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. even within the confines of the USA, home of the hays code, the red scare, and reaganite propaganda, this neopuritan fascist state ruled by 1000 megachurches in a trenchcoat, the indie/underground animation scene has been doing crazier shit for decades. anti-war films in the 60's, bakshi movies in the 70's, the simpsons shorts and r-rated movies in the 80's, adult swim and MTV in the 90's, flash/newgrounds/youtube in the 00's, streaming in the 2010's—so what are we doing in the 2020's with this wet white rice drowned in expired ketchup? i feel crazy making this point because it's obvious if you've watched these things, but if you haven't, you're gonna be like "well, there's gotta be something new here". no! there isn't! in the words of jimmy "the scot" jordan, nothing, nothing, NOTHING!

c. ideological purgatory

actually, there is one thing in these shows i've never seen before: the presbysterianism. shout out some interesting or at least intentional presbysterian art in the comments, because the way these ideas are presented here is not compelling. it just makes the rainbow neoliberalism even more confusing and contradictory.

i guess the big presbysterian things are protestanism, calvinism, and, uh, big church government? presbysterians, get your shit together. get your brand down. catholics have BDSM and vampires, evangelicals have TV and corporatism; what do you have? celtic crosses? no wonder medrano has such uninspired ideas on divinity.

d. queer deficiency

when i look at a piece of art, i ask myself: "what does this give me that i can't get from the hunchback of notre dame (1996)?" if the answer is as limp as "uhh, gay people, i guess", i can probably look for my gay shit elsewhere and rewatch the hunchback of notre dame (1996) in the meantime.

but let's say that you have no standards. you've been waiting for ages for a show about gays by the gays for the gays, and by god you're gonna get it. this is it! here we go! time for some

generic twink obliteration

male sexuality as aggression and dominance displays

WLW (sex and chemistry not included)

a couple straight femdoms

and the stalest sex jokes known to man

...yeah, it's not very queer. and by "queer", i mean "questioning or subverting gender norms (including sexual roles) within a given cultural context regardless of creator identity and intent". i'm not a queer studies scholar so LMK if there's a more specific term for this, but whatever you call it, it's not in the hellaverse much.

there's not even any transness, literal or metaphorical, just ancient drag jokes. i guess the writers thought we would've been too controversial. so much for an indie animation studio that prides itself in the diversity of its staff both above and below the line, bakshi-style. i wonder how medrano, a bisexual woman, would've felt if told that a lesbian main couple in hazbin would be "too controversial".

4. spindlehorse and the vivziepop brand

spindlehorse toons underpays its overworked staff and keeps outsourcing more and more labor to even more overworked freelancers overseas to cut costs. a rainbow sweatshop is still a sweatshop, and just because these practices may be "industry standard" doesn't make them any more ethical.

the studio has also been repeatedly accused by current and former employees and contractors of creating a hostile and abusive workplace. AFAIK, it still has no dedicated HR person, and victims are too afraid of retaliation like blacklisting and online harassment to speak out.

this is exactly the stuff that unions exist to prevent. as i'm writing this, the IATSE (the parent union of TAG, which is the parent union of all US animation unions) is negotiating with entertainment industry executives for better working conditions, and if the execs fuck around like last year, it's strike time again. so watch this space, voice your support, and don't cross any picket lines.

i hope spindlehorse unionizes, but until then and for these reasons, i don't think you should give money to the company.

first of all, all content on amazon-owned platforms is ok to pirate, and all youtube ads are ok to block. everyone involved in making the episodes has (or should have) been paid upfront, so you're not taking the bread out of anyone's mouth.

next, let's look at the succulent offerings of the official vivziepop merch shop:

$10 pins and keychains

$15 sticker packs

$20 mugs and acrylic cutouts

$25 shirts

$30 metal cards (not even tarot)

$40 lounge pants

$50 mini backpacks

random $80 skateboard deck

forgive my latin americanness, but this is all stuff you can get made by a local metalsmith, print/sublimation shop, or just crafty people in your life. it's cheaper, customizable, and better for the environment to skip all the shipping and packaging. also, not painting your own skateboard is poser shit.

the hazbin website also has $15 pins, one $20 keychain, and $6 trading card packs. people are weird about trading cards, so if for some reason you wanna gamble for a mass-produced bit of cardboard, plastic, and tinfoil, at least bulk-order for all the vivziepoppers in your area so it's less of a huge waste. better yet, trace the designs and make infinite bootlegs.

at the end of the day, buying merch is not activism. your bulk order of trading cards will not save any wage slaves from getting evicted from their overpriced studio apartments. however, the shop links you to all the credited artists/designers, and more of your bucks will actually reach them if you buy their designs directly, then turn them into body pillows or life-sized bronze statues or whatever the fuck.

go through the credits of any episode of helluva or hazbin, and you'll find even more creatives you might wanna support. get jinkx monsoon's albums on CD. subscribe to actually good artist, animator, and composer gooseworx. lots of voice actors now have patreon, cameo, or self-hosted pages where you can write better lines for their characters and have them read it. these things may not look as shiny as Official Merch™, but we all need less plastic shit and more culture anyway.

#spindlehorse #vivziepop #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #spindlehorse critical #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin hotel redesign #helluva boss redesign #communism #degrowth

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postguiltypleasures · 6 months

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My Peak TV Journey *Deadloch*

I watched this show way back in July, and I did not take notes at the time. So, I am going to try and be short and get to what made this such a surprise and balm.

The show takes place in the eponymous small town in Tasmania, Australia. A lesbian couple, including former Sydney Detective turned local Constable Dulcie Collins has recently relocated there. They are not the only prominent lesbians in town, but that does not make the town of Deadlock free from homophobia or misogyny. Back when she was a Sydney detective, Dulcie cheated on her wife Cath York, (who’s professionally a veterinarian, amongst other roles), and the relocation is something of a penance for Dulcie. Since she is no longer a detective, and it’s such a small town that there is no detective on staff, when the first of several mutilated male corpses is found on the beach, a detective from Darwin named Eddie Reddcliffe is sent in to investigate. Eddie has no desire to be there and is frequently drunk while mourning for her partner in detecting, thus ensuring that Dulcie has to get involved in the investigation. .

Meanwhile the town is supposed to be hosting its annual “Feastival”, a food and arts festival that the town’s rich white lady, Margaret Carruthers started. There is a running joke about how Amanda Palmer is the last celebrity guest to cancel her appearance. I think she was chosen because of her “Map of Tasmania” song, but there may have been less friendly reasons for the choice. The Feastival cannot be the empowering celebration that its founder wanted because of the legacy of colonialism. There are key native townspeople involved in the mystery, including the two teenage girls, Miranda and Tammy, who find the first body. If I were less rushed I’d spend more time on them because they’re wonderful.

I wanted to write about the series for a reason other than that I try and write about every television series I watch. I wanted to write about it because the ways it handled debates about gender and power while also being humorous and frightening was so well done. I never really doubted that the killer would be a man (though I didn’t guess who) but the attempts to determine why men were being targeted, and what gender stereotype would lead to the killer’s reveal could have gone so wrong. They could have led to either extreme gender stereotyping or nihilism. It didn’t. I feel like I’ve run into both bad options plenty of times before. After watching Deadloch I read Terry Moore’s Serial, which could be an example of how this type of story can end up in the nihilistic mire. (See my other blog for more thoughts on that series.) The conclusion was exciting and fulfilling. I hope to see Dulcie and Eddie solve more crimes, even if they’re no longer in Deadloch itself.

#my peak tv journey #peak tv #what 'm watching #Deadloch #Dulcie Collins #cath york #Eddie Reddcliffe

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litrallytyrus · 5 years

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ooml au - chapter 16 😌✋🏻

on my way to good old new york and i thought hey! lemme pop out a lil chapter for u guys!! also i cannot stop using this emoji ✋🏻 i had to refrain myself in this chapter several times from going 😗✋🏻 or 😔✋🏻 or 😛✋🏻 .... so that’s where i’m at in life rn 🤩

tag list 🧸🌈🤩

@tyrusofficial @bambiandambi @journalsandjasminetea @a-bittersweet-gal @bigertyorkes @thekelseyleigh21 @mullettj @youve-cath-to-be-kitten-me @spirited-marvel @miracufan @fallout-of-my-chair @sheeple-steeple @cyrusisgayman @wordsofaphoenix @findingdragons @fatetheunpopularestaurant @tjsmittencyruskippen @maggiethemagical12 @tyrusquacks @northerndownpacito @purplefacey @tyrusisdociusmagocious @muffy-thatsit-thatsall @thecyruskippen @space-cyrus @alittletooliteralleah @lemonboitj @multifandxm353 @claremontdias @tyrusking @tyrusuwuss @luna-aesthetic-s @here-is-some-advice-byotch @lemonboykippen @accio-howlter @iwritefanfictionnottragediess @gay-disney-things @tjgoodkippen @basicbitch100-blog @annoyinglyobsessive @ambimuffin @whipashwhipash @parkeroffline @thebisexualweirdo @tyrus-is-my-virus @imbadatnamingthings522 @perpetualshipper @alone-in-the-sunlight @stressdewriter @jimoninthewoods

#andi mack #tyrus #ambi #tj kippen #tyrus fic #tyrus texting au #buffy driscoll #cyrus goodman #muffy #tyrus au #ooml au #out of my league au

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lastpasttheposts · 4 years

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Rules: answer these 20 questions and then tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better.

Thanks to @oneminutetoeleven for tagging me, although she probably knows most of this about me already

1. Name - Amy

2. Nickname(s) - I mean my name's pretty short already but I get Ames sometimes, my family calls me Mim

3. Zodiac sign - Pisces

4. Height - Oh idk like 5"9, 5"10, somewhere in between? I don't measure myself

5. Language(s) - English, I don't really count the A I got in GCSE French I can only say I would like *insert food or drink item here*

6. Nationality - British

7. Favourite Season(s) - Autumn and Spring

8. Favourite flower(s) - Daffodils! They're so pretty and they're a sign my birthday's coming

9. Favourite scent(s) - I love citrus scents, but also freshly baked bread and cakes, the sea, new book smell (or old books I'm not fussy), my girlfriend's spray deodorant (not to be weird on main, it just smells like her)

10. Favourite colour(s) - oh no I love them all, I love red and purple and light and dark blue and yellow and pink and just all okay, all

11. Favourite animal(s) - dogs and sloths

12. Favourite fictional character - Okay so it's between the dumbass bi that is Alex Claremont Diaz from Red, White and Royal Blue because mood, Emmett from Legally Blonde, Josh Lyman from the West Wing or Cath from Fangirl

13. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate? - I practically live on cups of tea, mainly decaffe cause my sleep schedule's a mess, but I do enjoy a good hot chocolate

14. Average sleep - ahaahahahahahaha somedays it's 10 hours sometimes it's 3

15. Cats or dogs? Dogs all the way

16. Number of blankets? MANY. I get so cold. I remember at one point having two duvets and 2 big blankets over me to sleep but normally I do just use one duvet and a big blanket, normally a hoodie too - I'm a cold person okay!!

17. Dream Trip - I have so many. I want to go to New York and see Broadway shows, I want to visit every Disneyland park and Disney Aulani Resort, I want multiple trips to London to see shows, I want to visit Ireland, to visit warm places with nice clean beaches and beautiful sunsets, I want to walk cobbled streets with small shops and see castles, I just want to travel

18. So apparently there's no question here so like, that's fun. I guess instead I'll just remind everyone that you are loved and you are amazing, you've got this! Whatever this may be

19. Follower count - gag 35 on my main, 157 on my sideblog

20. Random fact about myself - When I was a young kid I used to have to attend speech therapy sessions to help me talk and now you'd find it very difficult to get me to shut up, mainly because I am constantly singing musical theatre songs

I don't know 20 blogs so instead I'll tag @notjaneaustensemma @ineffable-mum-friend @elliebartlets @holleran-nora @megansalphabet @roseecity

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ronanlysnch · 4 years

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tagged by: @tyrellen thank you so much for helping with my boredom!

tagging: @dianaprincie @cath-avery @feliticysmoak @singt0me @sargebvcky & whoever else want to do this (:

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better

1. name: milena 2. nicknames: mi, mil, mia, mile, & some weird ones my parents use that i won’t be publicily talking about, there’s literally too many 3. zodiac sign: capricorn 4. height: 1,60 m 5. languages spoken: portuguese, english & some spanish 6. nationality: brazilian bb 7. favourite season: autumn 8. favourite flower: don’t have one 9. favourite scent: gasoline was the first thing that came into my head, but idk 10. favourite colour: blue, really been liking yellow, but realized i’m really drawn to green for some reason 11. favourite animal: really like dogs 12. favourite fictional characters: SO MANY, adam parrish, ronan lynch, michonne, carl & rick grimes, newt, remus lupin, dipper pines..... & it goes on 13. coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee (iced even better) 14. average sleep hours: around 7, really lazy days i can get to 10 15. dog or cat person: dogs, but i really don’t hold any grudges against cats, it’s just that i have always had dogs, so i’m more used to them, but cats are so CUTE 16. number of blankets you sleep with: two, i like feeling the weight over me idk 17. dream trip: new york, ireland/scotland, all over europe too tho 18. blog established: 2015 19. followers: 7979 20. random fact: downloaded tik tok, and i’ve been progressively getting more addicted

#tag game

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softscholasticism · 4 years

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i was tagged by @marchyslove :) thanks bud

name: addison

nickname: punky, NOT ADDIE

zodiac sign: sagittarius

height: 5'6

language: english

nationality: american and texan

favorite season: fall but depending on the day, summer

favorite flower: daisy or bluebonnet, im texan so its a given

favorite scent: eucalyptus, lavendar, peppermint, coffee, bread

favorite color: dark green or yellow!

favorite animal: horse or dogs:)

favorite fictional characters: oh boy theres a lot... tony stark, steve rogers, bucky, jack zimmermann, eric bittle, harry potter, draco malfoy, simon snow, baz, and cath & levi from fangirl

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?: im a college student so coffeecoffeecoffee

average hours of sleep: 6-7 hours (depending on homework load)

dog or cat person: DOG 100%

average number of blankets: 30lb weighted blanket, and 3 others so 4 total i guess

dream trip: i've really been wanting to climb mt. kilimanjaro lately, so that.

blog established: oof, like 2013/14? i started out as a marvel blog

follower count: 541:) very blessed for everyone no matter the number

random fact: i dont like pizza outside of new york and will not eat it if it is not from ny... oops

i tag: @tanevthehimbo @obsessiveshayme @zhenya-malkin @al-the-remix and anyone else who would like to:) SORRY IF UR ALREADY TAGGED...

#not hockey related

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the-witching-ash · 4 years

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Thank you for tagging me @papergirlpapertownn also, sorry I took so long to do this.

name: Ashlyn

nicknames: Ash

zodiac sign: Libra

height: 5'6 (maybe, not sure)

languages spoken: English

nationality: American

favorite season: Autumn

favorite flower: Lilies or Roses

favorite scent: Rain & Books

favorite color: Teal, Coral, or Black

favorite animal: Cats and Wolves

favorite fictional characters: too many. (Hopefully books count?)

Barry Allen, Ray Palmer, Sara Lance, Kara Danvers, Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes, Hermione Granger, litterally all the main cast of The Good Place, Cath Avery, Wren Avery, Levi Stewart, Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Grimm-Pitch the Third, Penelope Bunce, Lorelai Gilmore

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?: Iced Coffee, Hot Chocolate.

Average Sleep: 5-7 hours with waking up every few but then going back to sleep

Dog or Cat Person: Cat!

numbers of blankets you sleep with: Three. A sheet, a comforter, and an extra for warmth and to cuddle.

dream trip: The Top five cities I’d love to Vist are - New York, New Orleans, Rome, Venice or London

blog established: I think some time about two, threeish years ago? I had one, deleted that account, started over.

followers: 119!

random fact: I don’t like hot coffee but I have a mug from every musical I’ve scene.

Tagging: @raging-violets (both of you) @ocfairygodmother @twinmasks

#about me #ask game #papergirl tag

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manualapacidebib-blog · 5 years

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Ejemplos de citas en formato APA

Libro con autor: Dick, P. (2017). Blade Runner: ¿Sueñan los androides con ovejas eléctricas? Ciudad de México, México: Minotauro.

Libro con editor: Purich, D., & Allison, D. (Ed.). (2002) The enzyme reference: A comprehensive guide to enzyme nomenclature, reactions, and methods. Orlando, USA: Elsevier Science.

Capitulo de libro: Schlegel-Haueter, P., et al. (2002). Lactase. In Purich, D., & Allison, D. (Ed.), The Enzyme Reference. A comprehensive guide to Enzyme nomenclature, reactions, and methods (p. 508). USA, Orlando: Elsevier Science.

Libro online: Orwell, G. (1999). 1984. Recuperado de: https://portalacademico.cch.unam.mx/alumno/tlriid4/unidad1/circuloLectores/cienciaFiccion

Libro con DOI: CATH, T., CHILDRESS, A., & ELIMELECH, M. (2006). Forward osmosis: Principles, applications, and recent developments. Journal of Membrane Science, 281(1-2), 70–87. doi:10.1016/j.memsci.2006.05.048

Artículo científico: Instituto Nacional de Salud (2001) Developmental new oncological drugs. Biomedica (13) 5-7.

Artículo con DOI: Mota de Cabrera, C. (2006). El rol de la escritura dentro del currículo de la enseñanza y aprendizaje del inglés como segunda lengua (esl/efl): Una perspectiva histórica. Acción Pedagógica, 15(1), 56-63. Recuperado de http://www.saber. ula.ve/accionpe/

Articulo impreso sin DOI: Manrique Grisales, J. (14 de noviembre de 2010). La bestia que se tragó Armero. El Espectador, pp 16-17

Articulo online sin DOI: Bonet, E. (2 de febrero de 2011). Miles de personas oran en la plaza Tahrir de El Cairo. El Tiempo. Recuperado de http://www.eltiempo.com/

Periodico impreso: Newman, V. (13 de noviembre de 2010). La información: ¿en la urna de cristal?. Semana, (15), p. 10.

Periodico online: Coronell, d. (2011, 29 de enero). Una decisión contraevidente. Semana. Recuperado de http://www.semana.com/

Informe gubernamental: Ministerio de la Protección Social. (1994). Informe científico de casos de fiebra amarilla en el departamento del Meta. Recuperado de http://www.minproteccionsocial.gov.co/

Tesis y trabajos de grado: Manrique, D., & Aponte, L. (Junio de 2011). Evolución en el estudio y conceptualización de la consciencia. En H. Castillo (Presidencia), El psicoanálisis en Latinoamérica. Simposio llevado a cobo en el XXXIII Congreso Iberoamericano de Psicología, Medellín, Colombia.

Paginas en la World Wide Web: Argosy Medical Animation. (2007-2009). Visible body: Discover human anatomy. New York, EU.: Argosy Publishing. Recuperado de http://www.visiblebody.com

CD-ROM: Drucker, P. (2007). El lider del cambio (3 ed.) [CD - ROM]. Barcelona: Gestión y planificación intergral.

Enciclopedia en linea: Widlife Conservation. (1999-2000). Encyclopaedia Britannica [versión electrónica]. New York, EU: Encyclopaedia Britannica Inc., http://britannica.com

Pelicula o cinta cinematográfica: Sher, S., Shamberg, M., Devito, D. (productores) y LaGravenese, R. (director). (2007). Escritores de Libertad [Cinta cinematográfica]. EU.: Paramount Home Entertaiment.

Video: History Channel. (Productor). (2006). El Universo, segunda temporada [DVD]. De http://www.history.com/

Podcast: Van Nuys, D. (Productor). (19 de diciembre de 2007). Shrink rap radio [Audio en podcast]. Recuperado de htpp://www.shrinkradio.com/

Blog: Gil, G., et al. (19 de mayo de 2019). ¿Qué es el plagio y cómo podemos evitarlo? [Mensaje en un blog]. Recuperado de: https://manualapacidebib.tumblr.com/post/184995456569/qu%C3%A9-es-el-plagio-y-c%C3%B3mo-podemos-evitarlo

Grabación de música: Muse. (2018). 8. Get Up And Fight. En Simulation Theory. [CD]. Londres, Gran Bretaña: Warner Bros Records.

Fotografía: [Fotografía de Alfred Eisenstaedt]. (New York. 1945). Life Magazine. Donald W. Olsen Public Collection.

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queencatherynerhys · 6 years

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Tell Me You Love Me - TRR AU Part 3

A/N: I tried so hard to wait to post this, but I couldn’t. I love this chapter! I have been in a writing high these past couple of days! Let me just say how fun this was for me to write! It is the longest one that I have written so far, 4043 words! Crazy! I had fun with this emotional ride! I hope you do too! Thank you for all the love, encouragement and kind words!

Summary: Liam and Catheryne’s friendship have been strained by her revelation. Is there hope for them?

Song Inspiration: Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato (can you tell that I’m a fan of her?)

Tag List: @captainkingliam @decisso @devineinterventions2 @madaraismtheroyalweisme @drakewalkerwhipped @laniquelove @drakesfiance @hhiggs @hellospunkiebrewster @alicars @mrswalkerreynolds @mfackenthal @simplyaiden-blog @hopefulmoonobject @blackcatkita @cocomaxley

Previous Parts:

Ruin the Friendship – TRR AU Part 1

Delicate – TRR AU Part 2

Panic starts to rise in my chest. Why the hell am I on boat? Where in the hell am I? I can’t breathe. Strong winds hurtle my hair, slapping me in the face. Water enters the ship and the terror from my impending doom engulfs me. Waves upon waves crash against my craft. I hang on for dear life against the railing, but to no avail. I am thrown off violently crashing into the merciless ocean. I swim to the top for air only to be met by another violent wave submerging me underwater. I rise to the surface once more, locating my raft in the darkness. I catch a glimpse of the sail and I put all my energy into my strokes. The current is so strong. I’m almost there. The boat is within arm’s length. I’m almost there. I was about to grab hold when the current sweeps me underneath pulling me into its ruthless clutches. No, please, no. I scream with all the energy and breath I had left. I scream my pain and anguish. I am swept undersea, letting go of the tiny ember of hope I had held onto, I submit into my despair with open arms.

She jolts awake, breathing hard. Her head pounded, and she can feel the intense throbbing pain behind her eyes. She’s been in Hana and Maxwell’s apartment plenty of times that she knew where they kept their pain meds in their kitchen. She notices a note on the kitchen table with her name on it. She recognizes Hana’s elegant handwriting immediately. Hey Cath, Maxwell has headed into class and I left for work, but I made you some breakfast before leaving. You can find it in the fridge. You can also borrow some of my clothes just in case you want to take a shower and get out of your nasty ones. I’ll talk to you later. Love, Hana. Responsible to a fault, that girl, this is a trait of hers that she is grateful for. She took advantage of her offer and hopped in the shower. She took a long shower, staying under the stream water so long that her fingertips turned prune-y. She had hoped that the hot water would cleanse away all memory of the previous night. It didn’t.

She stepped into living room after getting dressed and checked the clock in the living room. It read 9:23am. He should be in class by now. She felt relieved knowing that she won’t have to face him…yet. I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to face him. She steps into the lively streets of New York City, slowly treading the path back to her apartment. She arrives at the flat she shared with Liam. The internal storm of misery and torment finally subside, leaving nothing but a scar tissue where her heart used to be in its carnage. She is numb, and she is actually thankful for that.

She makes her way to her room, passing Liam’s on the way. He left his door open. His usually very neat, making his bed every day before he left. Today was the exception, his room was a mess. Blankets and pillows strewn about as if he had a restless night. His uniform thrown on the floor messily, as if he woke up late. Her best friend was never the one to leave things disorganized. I wonder if he slept alright. Probably not. He found out his girlfriend was cheating on him, then I had to go and be a drama queen and tell him how I felt. Worst anniversary ever. Fucking whiskey! I should really learn to not mix anger with a bottle of Jack Daniels. She shakes her head to put a halt on her train of thoughts as she continues to make her way to her room.

She didn’t have classes today, so she had a few hours to herself before she had to get ready for a long shift. She decided to pour herself into her homework and finishing the papers for her finals to distract herself from Liam. It’s so difficult to do when she’s surrounded with pictures and memories of him. Every where she looks, there he is. He’s even on her nightstand. It was a picture of the 15-year-old version of them. She grabs the picture and gazes at it. She couldn’t stop herself from flashing back to that memory.

It was the first birthday she was celebrating after the death of her parents. Catheryne was two days younger than Liam, so it became a tradition to celebrate their birthdays together. For once in her life, she was sad that their birthdays were during the summer break. At least if she was in school she could be distracted with work, but there was no escape. She dreaded this day. She missed them. She missed their mini traditions; her mom was a great baker and always made her a cake, her dad would sing to his own version of the Happy Birthday Song with his guitar.

She had asked the Rhys’ to not throw a celebration for her birthday. For this birthday, all she wanted was some time alone. No friends to entertain, no fake smiles, no pity looks from everyone. “Liam, you can still throw yourself a birthday party. Don’t let me sour your special day.” She felt awful for ruining their tradition, but she just couldn’t do it this year. “Ryne, you are not souring anything. You’re my best friend and I can’t imagine not celebrating our birthdays together. So, whatever you wanna do, we will do.” She looked at him with grateful eyes.

She will never forget that birthday. She was awakened by the sounds of a strumming guitar. Liam walked into her room singing happy birthday. He didn’t have her father’s angelic voice, but it sufficed. What in the world is he doing? He finishes the song as she sits up on her bed. “Happy Birthday, Ryne.” Upon hearing her nickname, her eyes welled up. There were only two people in the world who called her by her nickname, her father and Liam. She misses her dad.

“Liam…” she was left with absolutely no words. “Is…Is this why you asked for my dad’s guitar two weeks ago?” asking him with her early morning voice. “Yeah, sorry I lied about my reason. I really wanted to surprise you. You don’t wanna know how many YouTube videos I had to watch to learn this simple song,” He says, sheepishly. She stared at him, awestruck at the effort he has put into this. “Oh, wait here, I have to get the second part to the surprise.” He ducks out of the room. There was a second part? How much work did he put into this? Her trance was interrupted when he walked in with a birthday cake in his hands. It was chocolate, just like her favorite, and it was topped with 15 lit candles. It didn’t look store bought so she asked, “Liam, did you make this?” She inquired her friend. “My mom guided me through it, but it was mostly me. Well then, make a wish.” She closed her eyes and thought of a wish, I wish to never forget this day or this feeling, and with that in mind she sends it to the universe with a blow of her candles.

“Liam, thank you, seriously, this means more to me than you could possibly know.” He grabbed her hands with his and replied, “You’re very welcome, Ryne, but the day is only getting started. Now, go get a shower and get dressed. I’ll be down by the beach when you’re done.” He squeezed her hand as he stands up to leave.

She met him down by their safe haven. She was so thankful that their little beach, the small place where she found peace, wasn’t a tourist spot. They had the freedom to run around, their parents never had to worry about them disappearing for hours when they go off on their explorations. She stood there admiring his tall physique, his blonde hair being ruffled by the summer breeze. She thinks to herself, He looks like a prince from a book when he stands there like that. I think if he desired it, he could be a Disney prince, he definitely met all the criteria. He had the biggest heart out of everyone I know. And not to mention he was incredibly handsome! She feels a stirring in her heart, something she’s never felt before, but she didn’t dwell on it. She walked up beside him and said, “So, what now?” He jumped when he heard her; he was so concentrated on the horizon that he didn’t register her presence at all. “Well, I have one more surprise for you, but we’re gonna have to travel there.” His eyes twinkled, just like it always did whenever they were about to embark on an adventure. “Liam, seriously you’ve done enough for today.” “I am not taking a no for an answer, Ryne, now follow me.”

They marched back up to the house. He instructed her to wait out front while he grabbed something. A few minutes later, he shows up with a bicycle in tow. “Is that Leo’s bike? Why is there a basket attached to it?” He holds up a picnic basket to answer her question. “Uhhh, why do we need to go somewhere to have a picnic when there’s a perfectly undisturbed beach right here where we can do the same thing?” He heartily laughs at her and replies, “Ryne, would you just trust me for once in your life and get in the back.” She shakes her head and hops on the bicycle’s pegs. Demanding, as always, somethings never change.

She wrapped her arms around him as he pedaled their way to an unknown location. After 6 miles, they finally get there. It was the memorial where her parents are buried. They weave their way to their tombstones. Liam sets up the picnic while Catheryne cleaned her parents stone and its surroundings, clearing it of twigs and leaves.

“Hi, Mom, Dad. It’s me, Catheryne,” she felt a little silly talking out loud, but she needed to be close to them. “It’s my birthday today. Liam is here with me. I just want to thank you for bringing me into this world. You’re the best parents a child can ask for. I miss you every day.” She allowed a tear to fall from her eyes as she knelt before her parents. Liam’s hand finds its way to rest on her shoulder. How can this simple gesture bring so much comfort? It’s as if his hand held her, preventing her from being blown away by the winds of her despair.

They sat on the picnic blanket, laughing and talking the day away. This isn’t how she imagined this day would go. She thought she would spend the whole day lying in bed, surrounded by her depression from the loss of her parents, but here she was with the only family she had left. Liam had given her the best birthday gift, and she couldn’t be more grateful for her best friend and his big heart.

They watched the sun set in the horizon. She basked in the last glimpse of the sunlight until it disappeared, signaling that the time has come to return home. He looked at her as she stood there, eyes closed, facing towards the sunset. She looks content and happy. I guess I did my part well. I’m glad to have given her this day. She deserves so much happiness after all that had happened with her family this year. He smiled with satisfaction. He hated to break that surreal moment, but he announced, “Hey, we should head back. It’s gonna get dark soon.” She opened her eyes, acknowledging him and nodding her reply. “Liam, thank you so much for this day. I…It…I’ll never forget it.” She felt embarrassed that she couldn’t find the right words that she was feeling. She admired him in the orange rays of the sunset. He looks like a dream in this lighting. The flutter in her heart and stomach came back. What is that? Stop being an idiot, Catheryne. Liam is probably looking at you like you’re stupid for looking at him with goofy eyes. Her best friend replied by giving her the softest kiss on her cheek. He lingered there for a moment. He pulled away, saying “It makes me happy to see you happy, Ryne, happy birthday.” With that, he walked away to get his bike leaving her all alone to her emotions. The flutter in her heart became an intense warm sensation emanating from her heart. The sudden realization of what her feelings had hit her like a bullet train, quick and sudden. I am in love with my best friend. I am in love with Liam Rhys.

Her loud alarm pulled her back to her reality. It was time to get ready for work. She places the picture back on her nightstand, facing down. She couldn’t bare to look at it anymore. Her birthday wish from that memory, was just that, a wish. Life clearly loved to remind her of her aching heart. She gets up from her bed to her vanity and put on her everyday make-up. She smiles at the mirror, hoping to cheer herself up, but even with effort her smile never reached her eyes. She sighs in defeat.

She grabs her shoulder bag and keys from the hook by her door and heads for work. She loves walking in the midst of the hustle and bustle of New York City. It is where she truly feels like she can disappear.

The mediocre dive bar she works at come into view. Before she entered, she inhales a deep breath steeling herself for the long night ahead. You can do this, Catheryne. Just take it one foot at a time. You can make it through this. She releases her breath and trudges forward, head hanging low. She walks back to the locker area, shoving her items in her locker. She lazily puts on her disgusting apron and puts her hair up in a bun. “Catheryne, stop standing there and gawking like an idiot and get out there!” Her asshole of a manager, Declan, barked at her. She pinches the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes as she uses her hand to lean forward against the lockers. You can do this. You can do this. Even as she repeats it in her mind, her resolve is slowly dissipating.

As if she didn’t have enough on her plate at that moment, life decides to pile on to her mess. “Hey, Ryne.” Hearing his voice made all the blood rush into her face. She balls her fist on her side, remembering the night before and all the anguish he . “I can’t do this with you tonight, Liam.” She whispers through gritted teeth before stepping out into the floor without looking at him. She is already frustrated with her boss. She can’t handle him, too.

She went about the motions of being a waitress. Her feet are screaming with pain from running back and forth to the kitchen and the room, handing and taking orders. Her emotional health is strained from the barrage of harassing customers. It was a busy night. It was a Friday after all. When she would get a break from the flow of customers she had to attend to, she would catch him looking at her from the corner of her eye, concern carved on his chiseled face. She was hanging on by a thread. She didn’t know how long she could keep up the feigned strength she conveyed to the world.

She is making her way back to the kitchen to pick up an order when a loud, rowdy customer stops her in her track. “Hey, doll, why don’t you and your purty self come here and let me tell you somethin,” This is the nature of her job, rude people mixed with alcohol is a concoction for disaster. She turns and makes her way to his table full of raucous men just like him. “Yes?” she replied politely, hiding her anger for his insulting demeanor. “I ain’t never seen someone as beautiful as you. I was wonderin’ if you’d like to come with me to my hotel after your done from here. I think I can blow your mind.” He is clearly drunk off his ass; his slurred country accent makes it difficult to understand him. She was fuming with rage at his insulting comment, but nonetheless she replies with a calm tone, “Thanks for the offer, but I must decline.” She turns to walk away when he slaps her right on the ass.

The tiny thread she held onto finally snapped. She whirls around, letting her anger fuel her. Before she even knew it, she slaps the rude man squarely across the face. Her hand stung from the impact, but it was nothing compared to the fury coursing through her veins. How dare he?! Disgusting, insulting, perverted bastard! The man stands up, hollering at her, “WHAT THE HELL?! I’LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT, YOU BITCH!” His hand recoils behind him, getting ready to take a shot at her

Liam watches her with careful eyes as she goes about this encounter. He has known her a long time, he can read her tells. He can read the anger that was hidden behind her smile and eyes. The way this man is treating her enrages him, but he tries to concentrate back to tending the bar. His work was halted when he sees Catheryne walking back to the man slapping him in the face, she was shaking with anger. What the hell just happened? His instinct to protect her guides him across the bar to where the conflict is unraveling. He steps in front of her, putting himself between them, his arm blocks the blow that he was about to throw at Catheryne. He retaliates by punching him hard on the stomach, and using momentum and rage, he punches the man in the face, knocking him out.

Declan comes out from the kitchen, witnessing the commotion that just happened. “What in the hell is happening? Liam! Catheryne! You insufferable morons! What the hell…” Liam stops him mid-sentence, “You know, Declan,” enunciating the syllables of his name, “you just may be one of the worst goddamned person in the planet. We quit!” He goes to the back to grab his and Catheryne’s belongings. He grabs her hand and pulls her, a little too violently, out of the bar back to their apartment.

When they arrive at their place, she finally speaks up, “What the hell did you do, Liam?” He is making his way to the cabinet where they kept the strong rum. He skips the glass and downs a gulp straight from the bottle. “Liam, what the fuck?! You shouldn’t have done that!” He couldn’t believe what she just said, and he stared at her with incredulous eyes. Is she really angry at me after I just protected her from that god-awful man?

Her body trembles from all the emotions racing within her. What just happened? I’ve never lost my senses like that before. Oh God, what is happening to me? Her feelings for Liam is ruining her. She watches as he sets down the bottle on the counter. She sees his white knuckles gripping the countertop. “What did you want me to do, Catheryne, hmm?” He speaks quietly, his tone almost felt like the calm before the storm. “I don’t know, Liam, but you shouldn’t have interfered. Now, we both have no jobs.” She responded, matching the tone of his voice.

“So, you’re saying I should’ve just let him hit you?! Is that it, Ryne?” his voice gradually rising in volume. “Well, I’m sorry that I couldn’t just stand there and watch him treat you like that. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a bad friend.” Friend, there is that word again. Such a simple word, but it cuts through me like a double-edged sword. She paces across the room, grabbing the rum and consumes a considerable amount of it. She stomps athwart in their living room. Her panic, rising to the surface. He continues his rant, “I’m sorry that I all I wanted was to protect you!”

“We’re not in high school anymore, Liam, ok,” she snaps at him. “I’m not the weak, little girl you had to protect from her bullies! I can stand on my own two feet!” Her hands flail around her as she speaks, and her tears get the best of her, staining her face.

The storm has arrived as they both explode. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Ryne?! I just want to take the past couple of days and pretend it never happened! Then, we could continue just as the two best friends living in the city of dreams, happy!” He screams at her.

She has taken aback by the timbre of his voice. Not once, in the 16 years, that they have known each other has he treated her this way. Happy, is that what he thought our relationship was? “Happy, really? Liam, have you been really that blind all throughout this years?! I have loved you since we were kids. I fell in love with you when we were 15! Happy, isn’t the word I would use to describe this relationship.” All her frustration and anger poured out of her, she couldn’t keep them in anymore. I am so tired. I am so tired of hurting. She meets his eyes across the room and she let go, “I was miserable, Liam. I am miserable! My heart broke every time I saw you with other girls, wishing I was them, wishing you looked at me like the way you do with them! The anger I would feel towards them for breaking your heart scared me! I don’t know who I am anymore. I lost myself because of you, because of my love for you. I am so tired, Liam. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of crying myself to sleep. Loving you is more painful than when I lost my parents. I don’t know what it is about you. I tried so hard, Liam. I really did. I tried to stop my feelings for you, but clearly it didn’t work.” She laughs bitterly. She was done. She was done waiting for the day he’ll love her, too.

She heads towards the door, leaving to stay at Hana’s for the weekend. He suddenly steps in front of her, blocking the way to the door. She tries to weave her away forward, but his broad physique compared to her petite frame always had her at a disadvantage. “I’m sorry, Ryne! I’m so sorry! How can I make this go away? Tell me, please! How can we go back to the way it was?” He pleads with her. “We can’t.” She simply stated. “No, I refuse to believe that!” He is trying so hard to hang on to his best friend, his confidant. He grabs her arms refusing to let her go. “There must be a way to fix this! There has to be! Tell me how I can fix this! Tell me how I can stop you from hurting.” She wiggles out of his hold, heading out the door. “CATHERYNE, PLEASE!” He is begging her to stay. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” She loses what sanity she has left and yells at him, pouring all of herself and her love for him into her words,

“I WANT YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME, TOO!” She turns around to look at him. She didn’t need to stay to hear his excuse or whatever retort he has planned. She could see the answer written all over his face, and she finally accepted defeat and walked away.

#playchoices #trr #trr au #king liam #liam x mc #tellmeyouloveme #romance #angst

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lacronicacoruna · 4 years

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20 Novelas románticas para dejarte llevar

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Cantidad de páginas: 448

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16.

Lindsey Kelk

Yo love NY

Angela decide mudarse a Nueva York casi en un acto desesperado, luego de descubrir la infidelidad de su novio. Pese a estar sumida en la depresión, allí conoce a Jenny, una amiga que la ayudará a remendar su camino. Cuando Angela lo consigue, comienza a salir de nuevo con chicos que le atraen y que le hacen darse cuenta de que no todo estaba perdido en el asunto romántico. Entonces, ya lo sobrado enganchada a Nueva York, Angela decide comenzar un blog para compartir sus experiencias con lectores que podrían carecer de su ayuda.

Cantidad de páginas: 352

Comprar

17.

Sophie Kinsella

Tengo tu número

Esta es una novelística muy divertida. No solo es romántica, sino además sumamente ingeniosa. En ella, conocemos a Poppy Wyatt, una chica que está comprometida y a punto de casarse con el simpatía de su vida; sin requisa, de modo inesperada, pierde el anillo de compromiso, lo cual la hace involucrarse en una serie de eventos desafortunados que dan como resultado que conozca a un desconocido que cambiará el rumbo de sus planes, su vida y su destino.

Cantidad de páginas: 427

Comprar

18.

Nicolas Barreau

París es siempre una buena idea

Una típica mujer trabajadora, dueña de una pequeña pero linda papelería, conoce a un profesor de humanidades norteamericano. Ambos se enamoran profundamente, con París como tablas de fondo.

Cantidad de páginas: 320

Comprar

19.

Lidia Fernández Galiana

En época de tulipanes

El día que cumple 18 primaveras, Juan decide preguntar a su mamá cuál es el ocultación de la buena relación que lleva con su padre, a pesar de estar divorciados, y con su coetáneo consorte (padrastro de Juan). Entonces, ella decide contarle la historia de su vida de vigésimo primaveras antes, antiguamente de que él naciera. Esta es una novelística que cuenta una historia de simpatía ambientada en una época importantísima de la historia española en la que los padres de Juan están involucrados, así como otros personajes importantes.

Cantidad de páginas: 426

Comprar

20.

Jenny Han

El verano en que me enamoré

Esta es una novelística de romance contemporáneo. Belly es una chica que ama sobrevenir el verano en la casa de playa de la amiga de su mamá, ya que está enamorada de uno de los hijos de ella. Aunque, cada verano, Belly intenta acercarse a su prospecto amoroso, no es sino hasta uno en particular que se atreve a hacerlo. De pronto, ella siente que se ha puesto guapa y que está dispuesta a revelar sus sentimientos. Sin requisa, no imaginó que las cosas cambiarían tan radicalmente ese verano. Esta historia tiene momentos emotivos, tiernos y lindos sobre lo que significan la amistad y el simpatía.

Cantidad de páginas: 272

Comprar

¿Qué es lo que te gusta del carácter de novelística romántica? ¿Alguno de estos libros es tu predilecto? ¿Cuál ha sido el compendio que te ha mantenido enganchada o asido hasta el final? Queremos saberlo en los comentarios.

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from La Crónica Coruña https://lacronicacoruna.com/20-novelas-romanticas-para-dejarte-llevar/

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lacronicacoruna1 · 4 years

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20 Novelas románticas para dejarte llevar

Compártelo en Facebook

Tuitéalo

Simona Ahrnstedt

Solo esta incertidumbre

Cantidad de páginas: 512

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Lisa Kleypas

Mi nombre es Liberty

Cantidad de páginas: 400

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Jojo Moyes

Yo antiguamente de ti

Cantidad de páginas: 496 páginas

Comprar

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

La primera suerte de la incertidumbre

Cantidad de páginas: 416

Comprar

Pamela Stupia

Pegaso rosado

Cantidad de páginas: 320

Comprar

Marian Keyes

Sushi para principiantes

Cantidad de páginas: 477

Comprar

V.C. Andrews

Saga Dollanganger

Cantidad de páginas: 480 páginas

Comprar

Samantha Young

Calle Dublín

Cantidad de páginas: 368

Comprar

Sylvain Reynard

El abismo de Gabriel

Cantidad de páginas: 214

Comprar

10.

Alice Kellen

Todo lo que nunca fuimos

Cantidad de páginas: 362

Comprar

11.

Elísabet Benavent

Toda la verdad de mis mentiras

Cantidad de páginas: 544

Comprar

12.

Cath Crowley

Esa sencilla palabra

Cantidad de páginas: 304

Comprar

13.

Linda Gillard

Contigo escucho las estrellas

Cantidad de páginas: 304

Comprar

14.

Daniel Glattauer

Contra el singladura del septentrión

Cantidad de páginas: 260

Comprar

15.

Nicholas Sparks

El celador

Cantidad de páginas: 448

Comprar

16.

Lindsey Kelk

Yo love NY

Cantidad de páginas: 352

Comprar

17.

Sophie Kinsella

Tengo tu número

Cantidad de páginas: 427

Comprar

18.

Nicolas Barreau

París es siempre una buena idea

Una típica mujer trabajadora, dueña de una pequeña pero linda papelería, conoce a un profesor de humanidades norteamericano. Ambos se enamoran profundamente, con París como tablas de fondo.

Cantidad de páginas: 320

Comprar

19.

Lidia Fernández Galiana

En época de tulipanes

Cantidad de páginas: 426

Comprar

20.

Jenny Han

El verano en que me enamoré

Cantidad de páginas: 272

Comprar

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from La Crónica Coruña https://lacronicacoruna.com/20-novelas-romanticas-para-dejarte-llevar/

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