#cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

Time to get serious 😤🫡

#I feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing #should’ve been done this #excited cause imma annotate as I go too ^^ #thinking of getting the audio book too #to really help focus I #we’ll see #law of assumption #neville goddard #loassumption #cloudii speaks

[neils-pen-to-paper]

🌻

The people who made DSMM stabbed me in the got dang back and it still hurts

#cloudii skye #victor speaks #dsmm

[goldiipond]

hi welcome to my blog! i'm skye and basicaly i do whatever i want <3

✧ 19 || he/she || mixed (white passing) || genderfluid arospec lesbian || autism+adhd (catastrophic)

talk tag: #skye's ramblings

art tag: #skye's doodles

art-only blog: @cloudii-skye

✧ interests

-i talk a lot, posting is often erratic and heavily opinionated, and usually centered around whatever my special interest/fixation is at the time. currently that interest is the promised neverland, please feel free to send me tpn-related asks at any time! please

-the mario rpgs (especially the paper mario series) have been very important to me for pretty much my entire life and i'm always willing to rant about them extensively. spm and pmtok are especially dear to me <3

-besides that i also love the owl house, undertale/deltarune, wandersong, and other stuff. play wandersong

-im very very autistic about character design i fucking love character design. OH YEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!

✧ finctional character

-i have too many comfort characters to list, so you'll have to go through my ccs tag and guess what’s wrong with me. sorry. currently my biggest comfort character is ray from the promised neverland <3

*if you have any questions about the intensity of this attachment please refer to my ray autism essay thank yoy

-i would blow up the world for don tpn you will never find a single person who loves him more. than me <3 talking abt don w me is always morally correct

-number one skye character of all time is olivia from paper mario the origami king shes mine. i stole her. every thursday we celebrate olivia bench thursday <3 unless i forget

✧ other stuff ??

- i'm mexican+native and i am also really really cool. i also speak spanish and would like to learn more languages in the future <3

-general dni criteria if i think you're weird i'll block you. proshippers/'fiction doesn't affect reality' club can leave <3

-please softblock to break mutuals!

-mutuals can ask for my discord! be my friend

✧ random olivia event

#skye's ramblings #hi i remade my intro post i wasnt vibing w the old one anymore. please like if u read it :]

[runawaybouqet]

A Little Introduction to The System!

oh my god finally, should've done this hours ago

Kai

"oooh!! is that a lizard??"

-ageless -any pronouns (including neos!) except she/her -The Host -Main one in control! There are no braincells in their head, like at all -Overthinks a lot and is a little too vocal on opinions

Jinx

"let's get this show on the road!!" -ageless -she/neon/meow/xe -Co-Host -There for my "friends time" moments -Gets too caught up in a conversation and can sometimes sound like they have one braincell -In control when I'm at school mostly

Waffle

"waffles, ice cream, anything sweet." -15 years old -she/they -Co-Hosts -she shows up alot and is mostly there when I'm positive venting -a little quiet but not out of anxiety! they just prefer staying silent when the time calls for it

Aoi

"maybe i'll be okay." -ageless -they/it -Co-Host -responsible for my paranoia and social trust issues -They don't mean any harm! It's just trying to look out for the whole system but can't do it so it's in a healthy way, y'know? -Mostly mute, there when I'm venting though, they get the words out, they don't speak them Cloudii

"i can see a rainbow.. it's very dull but that's okay." -16 years old -he/they -The main one filling in for Kai (the host!!) -Really soft, also present when I'm positive venting -Doesn't like it when people swear but won't speak up about that if they're around people who swear a lot -Also there when I'm rambling on about hyperfixations!! Zephorus

"what in heaven's precious gates..?" -19 years old -he/him -Co-Host -He's mostly there when I'm feeling confident but he also plays a part when I'm anxious or having a panic attack from trauma flashbacks -Trying really hard to protect me and the rest of the alters

Demi

"cha cha real smooth." -21 years old -she/her -Factive -Based on my friend, Demi! When I'm excited, it's mostly them!!

Br11

"i never got over it." -20 years old -she/they -Factive/Prosecutor -Based on my sister, associated with past trauma, paranoia and trust issues. -Very toxic/harmful towards Aoi and Kai

Jamie

"blue and yellow!!" -19 years old -she/her -ANP -There when I'm being an idiot/pos -As of right now, the most recent to appear!

Koharu "coffee and clouds are all i need to stay afloat!" -16 years old -he/she -ANP -Always happy! Loves helping out Cloudii when Kai's not in control but is mostly just sitting around, no thoughts head empty Stitchmaker

"the fuck do you want, mortal?" -ageless -all pronouns (he/him preferred/also goes by toy/toys and stitch/stitches!!) -Protector -Kinda like Aoi in how they're mute but they get the words out -Keeps most bad thoughts away

Journey

"no need for trouble." -ageless -he/they -Protector -Very quiet, has a very friendly dad-like demeanor, also keeps bad thoughts away -Very nervous about taking control

Esmeray

"intergalactic space travel!" -ageless -they/them -Protector -Keeps nightmares and invasive thoughts away -Will only speak when spoken to

Moon Flare

"just leave." -ageless -he/they/xe -Persecutor -Unintentionally causes harm to other alters, responsible for depressing/aliven't thoughts -Also mute

Citrus

"want some lemonade?" -8 years old -he/him -Little -Craves attention, always extremely childish and irresponsible -Talks too much but when he does, he's a total sweetheart

Daydream (Dreamy)

"the sky is pink and the grass is blue!" -8 years old -she/her -Little -Hyperactive and loves to talk to people/there when I'm feeling really talkative/also there when I'm at school a lot -Zephorus helps keep her calm when she gets too excited

Ghost

"i'm a ghost, every time you hit the phone." -ageless -they/them -ISH -Very shy, takes control when the entire system gets overwhelmed or anxious, keeps those thoughts at bay, sometimes this causes us to go on complete mental/physical lockdown. -My first alter, very familiar with all of my friends/They will talk to you guys but only occasionally.

Ted

"don't. delete. miis." -ageless -he/they -Very quiet, tries talking but always stutters a little/has random violent outbursts

Noah

"what's wrong, little mii?" -ageless -they/it/xe/data/byte -Narcissistic and very loud/Not in control often because of Aoi

Mikku

"love me you say!" -16 years old -she/mic/sing -Very friendly and likes meeting new people! Will probably get attached if she talks to you for too long

Kichi

"I would never lie about something like that!!" -15 years old -he/kit/mew/zip -Lies a lot, but does it so he can keep kitself safe. Mew is very anxious and gets defensive when confronted on zips lying.

Leones

"what do you take me for? some kind of demon?? oh wait-"

-19 years old

-he/him

-Headmate (Unsure)

-braincells? none.

-sly as fuck, always talking

-he’s trying his best leave him alone

Leona

"need a cup of tea, dear?"

-19 years old

-she/he

-Headmate (Unsure)

-also soft, very closeted about using he/him

-mom friend, need therapy? shes got u.

-she also seems to be zeph's twin sister???

yes indeed, Kichi, Mikku, Noah and Ted are all fictives!!

Overall Info:

A little account dedicated to reblogs, random text posts, art stuff, like 3 MCYT AUs and other stuff!! There's 25+ of us fuckers and we hope we can get along with u guys just fine!

Other Blogs:

@gxckoppet - gore art/horror blog

@kxigxcko - oc comic/updates blog

@wdyrbdb - wii deleted you au blog

@the-gecko-system - system blog

DNI LIST!!:

-NSFW accounts.

-Fetish accounts.

-AU shippers. (i mean shit like, shipping a DDLC character with a MHA character)

-Pro-shippers.

-DNF/SkepHalo stans.

-BBH/Quackity haters.

-Random men over the age of 40.

-r@cists, lgbtqphobes, n@zi supremacists

#-kai/gecko #-zephorus #-jinx #system alter #if u have any questions dont be afraid to ask! :D #there's a low chance questions regarding ghost will be answered but we'll make an attempt :]!!

[chewwytwee]

I was tagged by @cloudii-skye to do this thing UwU so here we go

name: My name is Olive

nickname: Whore, Bunny, Rouge, Meow, Poodle

gender: “Hmmmmm being a guy sucks how bout I don’t”

star sign: Cancer sun Virgo moon

current time: It is exactly 12:36 AM

song stuck in my head: I’m gonna sound like a snob but Beethoven Symphoby no. 5 “Allegro Con Brio”

last movie I watched: I re-watched wolf children I think? Either that or Coherence (super indie from 2013 but is literally mindblowing)

last thing I googled: "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat. in english” it was some placeholder text

do I get asks: I’ll get maybe one every two or three asks memes, but I love love love getting them because my favorite topic of conversation is myself

reason for your url: There’s this pic of a cherry tree that’s really important to me, it was my pfp for a while. I wanted the url cherry-tree but it was taken so I resorted to OwO speak

following: 263 blogs (although I’m pretty sure a lot of them are inactive :///)

other blogs: oh geez uhhhhhh lemme just @chewwy-bwossom (furry blog), @lastresortart (art blog), @vineyard-wanderer (cottagecore blog), @blackfractal (horrorcore blog), (2 other blogs that are just fodder and I don’t wanna share).

lucky number: I never really thought of this but probably like,,,,,, idk 19

dream job: Freelance jazz pianist, classical performance pianist, comedian, actor, literally a performer and that’s it honestly

dream trip: Japan Japan Japan Japan Japan ohmigod it’s so pretty thereeeeee and I wanna see it and experience their art and shit like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

favorite food: Good ass ramen. Any good ass soup in general will literally make me go fucking buck wild but something about ramen is,,,,,,, better

instruments: Piano, trumpet, a very small amount of saxaphone, a very small amount of french horn, barely drums

favorite song: as of right now Jacob Collier - In the bleak midwinter (and his song “Moon river” I can’t stop listening to them)

tagging: oh geez oh gosh tagging people hard uhmmmmm @elsterz @pixelatedghosts @goodnoodlexx (fukk you ;P) and like anyone else who wants to start a chain!! Cuz this was fun and I’m happy that Skye tagged me UwU

#IM BAD AT TAGGING PEOPLE ALDJFAKLDSCMALSKDFJALKCASD #ask game #long post

[elysiancloudii]

A frustrated loass rant begging for help lol

TLDR: I tried to manifest a pencil and failed.

First off: I know The Law is real. I know that the 4D creates and the 3D is merely a reflection of it. I get all that.

However. I also exist in the 3D. I’m happy and thrilled any and every version of me has what she wants, all I want is for every version of me to have what she wants.

So why is my 4D not reflecting in my 3D? “Stop looking at the 3D”, “The 3D is irrelevant”

I exist here in the 3D too. 3D me found the law. If it’s that irrelevant, then why do the thoughts that the 3D me decides to think create? Or do the thoughts I actively choose to think not matter? Is it only my subconscious thoughts then? If that was true why have I manage to manifest with writing what I wanted on paper in the past and some of my subconscious fears not manifested? Was that just luck?

I don’t understand what made it work in the past but not now. I know the Law now and didn’t then. How much effort am I suppose to put in? How much is too much? Not enough? Where’s the line?

It feels like a huge “haha gotcha” when I want something in the both the 4D & the 3D and people are like “well if you really had it in the 4D then it would have reflected in the 3D clearly your dominant thoughts aren’t right”, “just assume”,

I literally said out loud: ‘I have a yellow number 2 pencil. I own a yellow number 2 pencil. I manifested a yellow number 2 pencil. I assume I have a yellow number 2 pencil.’

Every time my mind wandered to it, I would say these affirmations. I would tell myself ‘I don’t need to go buy one. I don’t need to know how I got it. The only thing that matters is I have a number 2 pencil.’ Then I began affirming that my 4D reflects to my 3D quickly.

It’s been a month.

I’m glad that my 4D self has the pencil, but why does the 3D me not have it too? “Oh well see, you’re assuming you don’t have it so you don’t” fuck off Give me tangible, actual help please

What am I doing wrong? It’s not suppose to be hard to manifest, I’ve affirmed it isn’t. Am I not saturating enough? Oh, and trust me, I’ve affirmed it’s easy for me to saturate my mind. So what’s enough? How do you know a dominant thought is dominant, especially with anxiety? (Yes, I’ve also affirmed that my anxiety doesn’t affect my manifestation abilities)

I’ve tried letting go, not actively affirming, just thinking in my favor whenever it does cross my mind.

I dreamt of pencils. I saw my coworker’s pencil at work. So why after a month has my 3D not conformed?

It feels like a huge “gotcha”. I don’t feel like I’m checking the 3D (yes I’ve affirmed checking the 3D doesn’t matter) but I should have my manifestations in the 4D and 3D so wtf am I doing wrong? What are others doing right? (Yes, I’ve affirmed that I’m not doing anything wrong too)

Im affirming regardless, but the fear and anxiety of this being a huge joke and that I’m a naive fool feels like being punched in the gut

I’m suppose to be the creator of my reality but it’s hard to feel like the dominant force when you haven’t managed to get anything in the 4D to reflect to the 3D

No, it’s more than that. I’m suppose to be the operant power but I can’t consistently get things to reflect from the 4D to the 3D on command. It’s not giving operant power lmao

#feeling maximum amounts of grump about it #my meditation session v much did not go well lol #imma post on Reddit too I think #I hope I don’t get a whole bunch of #just think you have it and you will~ #kind of responses #NOT HELPFUL #loassumption #law of assumption #loass #loassblog #cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

My last meditation session didn’t go as well as I wanted, causing me to become frustrated, now I’m spiraling even though I know that’s the worst thing to do and I should just be affirming otherwise, but I’m really struggling with my jealously of seeing other people reach the void state and not having done it ☹️

#I don’t wanna feel jealous at all #I hate this feeling #because jealously of someone else is really just the feeling of lack in oneself #I*know* this #and I *know* I’m the creator of my reality so I don’t need to feel this way #and shouldn’t #but here I am ☹️ #void state #cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

My dreams have been next level recently

Had one where I was sitting with my husband and son, thinking about how I needed to remember to do my reality checks so I could remember to test if something was a dream or not, kept thinking about how happy I was to know about shifting and manifestation

Last night had a dream I was whispering my affirmations into my drink

Idk what to even say, I’m just delighted lol

#everything I want is right at my fingertips I can feel it #a breath away #I’m so giggly 😂 #I think the word is actually giddy? #the mind really is the only reality ❤️ #cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

Maaaaaan I need shifting buddies cause I freaking shifted AGAIN on accident

Shifted somewhere where I was back in high school again and I was admiring how clean the bathrooms were and that I should make sure to add “the bathrooms are kept spotless” to my other scripts

Then I thought to myself “wait, I need to do a check or im going to think this was a dream”

So I looked into the mirror and made sure nothing strange happened. I could see and touch my body, I looked into my eyes and nothing crazy or dream like happened

I freaking accidentally mini shifted AGAIN!

Now I need to do it on purpose 😆

#shifting #shifting realities #mini shift #shifting stories #cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

Made out like a bandit at the post holiday sales 🤩

#book haul #booklr #booksbooksbooks #song of achilles #babel by rf kuang #fire and blood #art of war #rise of the dragon #world of ice and fire #team black #cloudii speaks #library

[elysiancloudii]

Rant III

(I know I manifest my own reality but I’m throwing a tantrum rn lmao)

I really am the dumbest bitch ever cause WHY did I believe anything she said, why did I get attached so fast, what is wrong with me, whyyyy do I bleed my affection all over everything so readily?

I’m embarrassed and ashamed

I never want to fall for anyone ever again, not because I’m sour about this, but because I can’t be trusted to love securely

I’m the healthiest I’ve been mentally and physically and still I vomit love/affection like I’m filled to the brim, it’s not cute

I thought…I really thought what I felt was real…that we had an actual connection

I am terminally ill with the incurable dumb bitch disease

And it’s all my own fault. I had no business falling for her, kissing her. I’m not even upset with her anymore. Can you be mad at a predator for devouring a prey that offered itself so willingly?

I hate that I saw the red flags, knew I had no business getting attached, and did it anyway.

The fact that this happened and I have to work 3 12h shifts in a row is torture 😭 I want to crawl under my bed and not surface for a week.

I’m glad I blocked her. It’s the smartest thing I’ve done so far in this entire situation. I will be cordial but I never wanna speak to her again. Her voice will just rip the wound back open.

I can’t wait to go home and cry

#cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

RANT II

Women make me want to jump off a cliff 🙃

How am I so torn up over a girl that was never even mine?????

#cloudii speaks #bi problems

[elysiancloudii]

RANT

I need to get out of this state quickly. I’m going to stop dragging my feet, I’m going to sign up for travel nurse agencies, and get tf out of here.

This girl is a fragment of my soul, I know we are made of the same star stuff.

But she is woefully, painfully asleep and self destructive. We’re like mirrors of each other and it is endlessly painful. She saved me and has grown me more in the few months I’ve known her than I have in ten years.

In an extremely egotistical way, I never believed in “right person wrong time”. The Universe has a way of humbling you. And I am humbled.

I’ll leave, get away from her, and we can both live our lives pretending we aren’t drawn to each other the way we are.

I’ve never had someone under my skin the way she is, never had someone so goddamn compatible with me. And she isn’t mine and never will be.

#cloudii speaks #bisexual troubles

[elysiancloudii]

Pretty sure this girl was sent from the depths of hell to challenge every one of my blockages with vulnerability

#the stress she has caused has developed me more in the past month than I have in two years #it sounds like I’m complaining and she’s awful #I’m not and she’s beautiful and amazing #my own personal demon sent to RUIN me #but she’s hot so she get a pass lmao #cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

Spirit stays humbling me 😅

Okay okay I got the message thank you for the clarity 🤭😚🤲🏽♥️🧿

#cloudii speaks #spiritual path #the message is to not jump to conclusions and that this is my reality so act like it lmao

[elysiancloudii]

Day one of my period and I’m struggling a bit

I know I am worthy, even when I don’t feel worthy. Temporary emotions do not change what is absolute, what is final. I am worthy of love and tenderness. I am worthy of being treated gently. I know this and it is truth.

Rejection sensitivity is a hellava SOB tho.

I feel rejected, mocked, ridiculed. I feel like I’m spoken to harshly. I feel rejected by people I really thought were going to be my friends. By people who I thought were my friends. And it’s too early in our friendship to ask for reassurance.

I feel like my last interaction with them was some kind of nail in the coffin.

I feel like I keep getting interactions with people wrong. That I’m the common denominator. That *I* am fundamentally wrong.

I feel like I’m fundamentally wrong in some way that even other neurodivegents aren’t.

Adhd is a superpower sometimes but mostly it’s just crippling. And I feel like I might be crippled beyond repair. Every time I get close to thinking “okay, maybe I can let this person in” I’m proven wrong. I don’t know what to do.

I’ll try again, a new strategy. I try again and hope that I’m not proving the saying “insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result” correct.

I don’t mind adjusting, learning new skills. But I won’t kill who I am at my core. If I’m not meant to have friends or a significant other, I wish I could just be given that definitive answer.

I would be distraught, but at least I wouldn’t keep banging my head against a brick wall.

My cycle coupled with my rejection sensitivity is causing a lot of distress right now. I can recognize that. I will keep affirming what I desire. My feelings can’t stop what’s for me.

But I’m human and I’m in significant pain right now and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

#cloudii speaks #rambling