Tumgik
#contempt that spring break is 3. days.
levmada · 9 months
Text
Lay for Me - PT.3/4
pairing: Erwin/Levi
summary: “I’m more worn out than I thought.”
Erwin takes Levi’s hand to get his attention, and his eyes land on his warily. He’s gazing up, undeterred.
He clears his throat. “L-Lay for me.”
content/warnings: hurt/comfort, references to sh (cutting), erwin has selective mutism, healthy communication, mouth fucking, service dom erwin, multiple orgasms, dumbification, overstimulation, crying, praise, rimming, oral, begging, a little vanilla | 8.0k
note: i'm adding my own hcs in this part so i wanted to say: i think that ackermans have a high sex drive/low rebound time because well levi is an ackerman, and i said so
and im using the ackerbond in the way that having sex with your liege makes it the most powerful so there's that also.
| previous chapter | next chapter |
Tumblr media
Levi squints down at the paperwork spread out on Erwin’s desk. It looks more like he’s glaring at the pages not a foot under his nose.
The contents are not what’s infuriating him, despite this task he’s set up for himself (One, to check over each Squad Leaders’ report of the past expedition; two, to review the eighty-six death certificates for grammatical errors). The swoops and scrawl of words and the spaces between them are starting to blur together.
It’s mind-numbing. Over and over, he’ll get past a paragraph or two, and then stop, realizing he’s retained none of it. The urge to punish himself echoes around his thoughts’ peripherals. A minor slip-up to act on it for—even a waste of time—but if he stops before he's finished, he might act on it anyway.
He volunteered to help Erwin after all. There was an abnormally long list of tasks to complete after this expedition, and of course he volunteered to give Erwin a hand with it all.
He pushed Erwin off toward the shower a while ago—the second of the day after returning this morning—but Levi barely remembered to even make Erwin take a break because he’s been so hyper-focused on work.
Maybe when people like Eld and Oluo almost die in one Titan attack, Levi must keep that off his mind.
What’s more, the expedition as a whole wasn’t exactly a resounding success. Erwin has entered one of his silent moods since his customary speech to the regiment around lunchtime today. Tomorrow, everyone has the day off.
Erwin’s silent moods are easy to predict, despite how jarring they are. If Erwin could help it, they wouldn’t happen—he wouldn’t let himself be inconvenienced by them.
Anyway, a problem that Erwin can’t solve is in his mind a shame. Therefore, Levi doesn’t complain, and brings as little attention to his coping mechanism as possible. It’s how Erwin deals with things that he thinks are his fault. And besides, Levi knows things about anomalous ways to cope.
He turns another page, tossing a stray piece of his overgrown bangs off his eyes yet again. Annoying.
Though honed-in on reading, he’s never not aware of his surroundings. He relaxes imperceptibly as Erwin comes to his side, and places his hand on his shoulder. With the other, he tucks the offending piece of hair behind his ear.
Levi looks up at him with a questioning tilt of his head. Erwin looks as tired as he feels, but at least he’s dressed for bed on a cold and rainy spring night. And more importantly, clean.
A certain weight to his features age him. Ghosts.
Erwin motions with his head in the direction the adjoining door, his personal quarters.
“Now?”
He nods reluctantly.
Levi glances at the grandfather clock. Shit, even he would be in bed by now. He didn’t realize.
“Shit. I forgot the time,” he amends, and stands, raising his hands behind his head to stretch. Somehow his back feels even more like lead than it did this morning.
“I’ll finish them on your day off.”
Erwin lips press as he arches one brow.
“Sleep enough. Maybe I’ll change my mind.”
A shadow of playful contempt shows through the cracks of his overall resignation. They both know that this is just another effort to get Erwin to relax. The true issue erupts when it’s needed both ways.
Levi can try. But falling asleep won’t be easy, just like how the death certificates weren’t easy, or hearing the jeers of the crowds upon their return wasn't. The past two weeks weren’t easy.
Nothing is easy right now, except crawling into bed with Erwin, even in short sleeves, and wiggling under the covers. With the dirt, mud, and blood down the drain, and the lost souls barred from entering on them.
Rest. I’ll make your sacrifices worth it. I swear to you.
He’s comfortably tired after several short naps throughout the day (including during their bath this morning). Unfortunately that means he can’t just pass out after his eyes close; instead he’ll see shadows, flashes of bodies missing parts, or contorted like dolls belonging to a disturbed child, bones protruding from weeping wounds.
Sleep is an impossibility for a while.
Levi opens his eyes. The lantern framing Erwin’s silhouette is bright. For however long, Erwin has sat there, staring indecisively at it.
Yes. When he gets quiet, Erwin can’t make decisions. Erwin is even wearing the felt blue trousers (and boxer briefs) he is now because Levi picked them out.
"Leave it on," he murmurs.
At the sound of his voice, Erwin visibly relaxes, then nods. He drags his hand down his face with a deep sigh. Sleeping is out of the question for both of them now.
Erwin matches Levi's worn gaze with his own.
“Hey, there’s no need to show me that shitty look,” he says softly. On his back, he opens his arms.
“Come here.”
Erwin joins him, sinking into his hold. He wraps his arms around Levi with his head resting squarely on his left chest, over his heart. It’s a little stiff because of their height difference, but he holds him in turn.
He mindlessly strokes Erwin’s soft hair, fresh from his shower, as he thinks of something to say. Long silences between them are comfortable, but he wants to make him feel better somehow.
Levi ruffles his hair gently. "What about the book?"
The book they’re reading together.
Erwin raises his head with a solemn look on his face. There's something about the tenderness in his eyes, feelings of which they wouldn't speak even if Erwin felt like it.
“‘No’ is as good of an answer as ‘yes’.” He combs Erwin's nappy bangs off his forehead. His eyes flutter, and then crack open. "I'm probably too sore to hold up a book anyway."
Erwin looks pained suddenly.
Levi raises a brow.
“L...” He raises himself up. “…Levi..."
He trails off, peering down at him.
“Yeah?”
Levi's eyes flutter as Erwin cradles his cheek, as if he were caressing something pure and easily stained.
He tilts his chin up. He comes closer and closer, until their lips brush together.
“Hm.” Levi easily takes the lead. He’s tired, but certainly not too tired to kiss Erwin. It’s selfish… but being on professional terms for two weeks left Levi missing this.
Nothing needs to happen. Actually, they’ve never had sex after an expedition. But being close to Erwin is reinvigorating to his being.
Whether it's slow or fast, Erwin kisses him like he has eternity to spend, one thing to treasure, and one goal: to kiss him. They kiss slowly.
Levi brings his palm over the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss. A quiet sound of approval hums between them, joining the sensation of Erwin’s warm breath washing over his face, and this peace filling his chest.
As their kiss deepens, Erwin's arm comes to rest beside his head. Their chests press together, but he's not on top of him. Indecisive.
But just the suggestion of Erwin's weight pressing him down makes him run warm. How the tender smacking of their lips grows messier and more feverish.
Before Levi gives in to Erwin's parted lips and takes in his tongue, Levi pulls away. Any longer and they may get carried away further than Erwin wants. Golden strands tickle Levi's forehead.
The result is a simple but smoldering look exchanged. Erwin doesn't look listless like before.
"Yeah," Levi consents, a faint rasp. "I'll say something if it comes up," he adds.
Levi understands that he'll speak when needed—hell, he's aware that Erwin likes his voice at all. Breaking that mysterious universal rule of blind submission was a resounding success after enough practice.
But he senses Erwin's insecurity in this state. It's important to especially him that Levi communicates. Spoken words are extra insurance.
He isn't alone in that insecurity, actually. He missed Erwin, more than he let himself feel while they were outside the Walls. That's why he swallows around a lump in his throat as Erwin presses a doting kiss to his lips before smearing them down his neck. His tongue appears, licking and nipping over his rapid pulse as his hand toys with the hem of his t-shirt.
Levi sighs, baring his neck to give him more room. Where his mouth goes, the skin soon cools, making him shiver.
Through with letting Erwin be so gentlemanly, he locks their hands, bringing them up under his shirt to spread over the hard muscles and raised lines of scars packed in his middle.
Levi winces. "Your hand's a fucking icecube."
Erwin huffs, hot breath spreading over his throat.
"It's not because I run warm," he growls, forcing annoyance as Erwin spreads his fingers, closing on his nipple and making him squirm. "Hah..."
"Hm," he hums lightly.
All Levi can do is gasp as he tugs the pink nub into a sensitive point.
His hand briefly disappears to peel up Levi's shirt, leaving it lumped below his neck. Erwin lowers his head, soothing the chill with slow licks of his tongue over his pricked nipple. A whine slips from him, loud to the point of embarrassing.
He lied. He's burning up now.
Erwin does all the right things in all the right ways. As his chest leans up, silently begging more, his hand slides down, closing on the firm bulge between his thighs.
"Ah—yeah..." he whispers.
What was a spark has transformed into a stoked burn. He slides his fingers through his silky blond hair and rubs distractedly.
He's pleased to feel Erwin's growing confidence. He mouths Levi's other nipple, sucking to bring it as hard and swollen as the other. He must taste how quick his heart is growing to beat.
He hooks his teeth into his bottom lip. Erwin is only rubbing and squeezing his hard cock, not enough, very not enough under layers. He's doing enough only to tease.
"C'mon," he whispers heatedly. "Know you can do better than that, Blondie."
He grunts, almost a moan at the sound of a challenge. He fleetingly sinks his teeth into the soft slope of his pec before moving up to his neck again, and instead of his hand, swinging his leg over for his thick thigh to rest on his crotch.
Levi gasps, pulling his hair, pushing on the new heavenly friction. What's even more, he feels Erwin's cock now, hard against his hip. Levi mouths a curse.
"F-Feels good," he whispers, grinding with a slow, but tight intensity.
Erwin practically trained him to talk, on those nights he edged Levi with his mouth. Look at me, Levi. How does it feel? Good? Do you like it when I kiss your cock?
"Don't stop."
Erwin groans with his teeth on his throat, a gravely sound he was clearly suppressing for some time.
He snags Erwin's hip, holding him in place. Desperately he swallows embarrassing whines. Erwin has a knack for that—making him beg and whine.
"Please," he mumbles.
For some reason, that gives Erwin a brief pause. Bringing Levi's cheek toward him, he kisses him hard, thrusting his tongue into his mouth in a messy outburst of desire.
It's not fair. It's hot when Erwin gets ambitious, hot when he drags his tongue down Levi's canines. He looks stupidly hot with his hair disheveled, cheeks ruddy, and boundless blue eyes lidded with desire.
Levi pulls off his shirt. Their hands snag on his boxer briefs, those following, and the huff of relief Levi makes once his stiff cock is freed. It slaps his pelvis, leaking at the tip.
It's clear when Erwin again hesitates. It's rare that he doesn't feel like taking charge, but Levi has no qualms about taking that role. He reminds himself over and over, He'd stop me.
He presses Erwin down on his back and swings his leg over so he's straddling his thighs. It's so obvious how turned on Erwin is that the idea of leaving his strained boxers on is laughable.
"These. Off."
Erwin reluctantly huffs in relief, visibly swallowing as they drop from his ankles. But before Levi can give his massive cock the slightest attention, Erwin steals his attention, his lips, back.
Levi huffs in amusement. He's suddenly being forward.
Erwin's hands flock all over his waist and hips, molding his thick flanks in his palms. Touching without making the commitment of asking Levi to do something one way or another. Clearly torn.
Levi rises up, hands closing on the top of the headboard so he looms over him a heavy amount. If he scooted up a little...
"Is this what you want?"
Erwin nods profusely, then hooking his elbows under Levi's thick thighs and hefting him forward.
He half-gasps, half-huffs as a weightlessness flips over his belly. He gets the message.
From the moment Levi's knees lay to rest above his shoulders, Erwin's attention lies on one thing. Before he has the chance to lower himself, his tongue darts out to lick his cock indiscriminately. As long as his mouth is on him, that's good enough for Erwin.
Levi's hips fall downward on their own, thighs wobbling as Erwin dutifully laps up what's oozed so far. He takes a handful of Erwin's hair, lowering himself finally with a choked curse.
He hears himself moan, as Erwin is already sucking hard—no patience indicative of him is present—with his tip sliding over his tongue, burying in his waiting mouth.
Erwin echoes the sound as those big hands he loves so much follow up, playing with the meat of his ass. Squeezing, spreading him open so that Levi gasps when that sensitive spot is exposed to air.
Levi has practiced. He wouldn't mind if Erwin put his fingers there, or pushed into his little rim like he's done with his tongue. That's not taking into account how many times he's imagined it.
His fantasies in this state are crippling in their temptation. His knuckles turn white, hooked over the headboard as he takes the initiative by fucking Erwin's mouth. How he's imagined riding Erwin's cock would be.
"Shit, you're tight..." he hisses.
Erwin just sounds so fucking pleased to hear that, he throbs. Erwin's grip hugs Levi's ass and thighs a bit tighter.
Just as soon as he speeds up and bears down a little harder, his body reminds him how worn out he is, and with a vengeance. His core begins to strain, hamstrings burning. What's just a little worse, his grip on the headboard is wearing out his hand more and more.
While focusing on how Erwin was feeling and how good it's felt to be near him again, he forgot. Even Erwin has avoided gripping where he's bruised or scraped.
He grunts, expressing a touch of frustration. Showing weakness is not only unbearable at any time, but this is embarrassing. He's even sensitive, Erwin knows that best, but the weariness is getting distracting.
He rests his forehead on his hand, breathing hard.
Some of the weight of moving is taken off him by Erwin and his hands gripping his thighs. He meets his hips more than halfway, but too soon, Levi's thighs are shaking in no attractive away.
He's slowed to a crawl when Erwin pulls off.
"Shit..."
He rests more on his haunches, muscles twinging. He grimaces—not from the bittersweet relief—as he curses himself. This... doesn't happen to him. But them having sex so soon after an expedition is unheard-of in the first place.
"I'm more worn out than I thought."
Erwin takes Levi's hand to get his attention, and his eyes land on his warily. He's gazing up, undeterred.
He clears his throat. "L-Lay for me."
Levi feels hot all over as he clambers off of him. Before he can so much as drag a pillow into place, Erwin does it for him. He presses Levi down on his back, he spreads his legs, and rubs the places that are hurting him until his body is loose and pliant.
Erwin cherishes his war-torn body with his hands, and with his lips, indiscriminately. His knees aren't exactly an erogenous zone, and neither are his biceps or his fingers, but he treats them as such. Levi can’t look at him as he does this.
He shivers as Erwin dots slow kisses up from his sternum, his chest and then attaching to his jaw. Erwin kneels between his legs.
Levi reminds himself not to overthink Erwin's feelings about him. But whatever he did to deserve this, he doesn't know. Part of it is because he was too weak to give him what he wanted, right?
He nibbles on the inside of his cheek and holds on as Erwin's lips decorate his jutting collarbones in kisses. It's the right thing to speak up about these things.
"...Sorry. I..." He cringes.
Erwin stops, and shows him an inquisitive look.
He meets it with a frown. "Doing all the work can't be fun for you.”
Well, he can already tell his answer by the way is is looking down at him. A near-imperceptible smirk doesn't reach his lips exactly, but he can still sense it, like he can sense the desire in his half-lidded blue eyes.
Levi rolls his eyes. “Right… You don’t have to say anything.”
Erwin closes his eyes, and comes to some resolution.
He opens them. "...Either way"—he plants a kiss to his blushing pink nipple—"I can make you feel as good as you des...deserve to feel," he whispers.
Levi searches his expression for any exaggeration. He can't find any, let alone a lie. "To take your mind off the past two weeks?"
"T-To cherish. The one good thing I have."
Finally, he just has to look away. He's blushing all the way to his ears, he can feel the raging heat, and this thing in his chest tightening up. Not trusting his voice, he just nods.
He feels a little guilty for making Erwin talk so much despite his obvious struggling.
A good thing. The one good thing. My one good thing.
He's noticed a trend.
Would it be selfish to conclude that he is easy enough for Erwin to talk to? Apparently not.
"You softy," he mumbles finally. Erwin peppers kisses to his firm nipples again, then across in the straight divot made by the gear he uses to fly.
Erwin raises an expectant brow.
"Do your cherishing, then."
With the ghost of a smile turning his lips up, Erwin latches his mouth on one of his tender nipples.
Levi hisses softly, eyes opening and shutting. “Erwin…”
Erwin hums to himself as he soothes his pricked nipple with his tongue. His other hand wanders up his inner thigh. Levi's chest leaps and falls as he tosses his head to the side.
Erwin smears kisses down his navel with just enough pressure to tease, soft smacks.
He licks around his sharp hipbone, nearing close to his hard cock. Closing his eyes makes the sensation that much more intense. He shivers in anticipation.
Erwin's fingertips are digging into his thighs just lightly, soothing the aching trembling from them. Those big hands can wrap around his thighs if he so wanted. He pins them down, wide apart, for now, with a startling amount of strength.
What is he planning?
Levi watches Erwin through his lashes. His eyes are closed, with a face that says there's nowhere he would rather be than between Levi's legs.
His fucking tongue, so close to his stiff cock. He's already as hard as before, if not more.
Erwin has no more patience than he did earlier, not really—he was taking it slow for Levi to recover from his collapse, certainly—when suddenly the fattest part of his cock is in his mouth. All of it.
"Fuck!" he gasps, his head falling back and his back arching up. He's fucking ambitious. To make up for the past half-hour, he seems intent on making him come in under a single minute, mouth sucking this tight and bobbing this fast.
"Erwin, Erwin, ngh..." he gasps uncontrollably. "What the fuck—fuck...!"
Erwin is pinning him, letting him get nowhere, but his hips tremble and snap forward on their own, chasing the pleasure at the back of Erwin's throat. Hands grabbing at Erwin's shoulder and his hair tighten into fists.
Erwin moans with a profound satisfaction, somewhere deep in his chest.
He can't even get out a warning in time. Every muscle, drawn tight, freezes when his balls tighten, throbbing when he begins to come. Weightless, hot, so fucking hot that his vision escapes him for a moment.
He shouts out soundlessly, it dissolving into a shaky moan as Erwin swallows every drop of his cum. The sensation leaves his toes curling, and him to whine helplessly.
He whimpers and struggles to hump Erwin's hot mouth until he feels a familiar embarrassment. Even after they got into this regularly, Levi's energy is about as boundless as his strength. It's not that Erwin doesn't satisfy him—exactly the opposite—but one climax doesn't tire him out, and he comes hard.
It's embarrassing. Erwin of course loves it.
So it's several moments before he sinks back down, and soft keening noises begin to slip out of him as he fails to twitch away when Erwin isn't stopping.
He slows down, but when he goes down, his nose buries in the trimmed wiry hairs; he swallows, like he intends to suck the soul out of him, and lathers his softened cock with his tongue when he comes back up.
But he's not soft for long.
"Dammit," he gasps. "Fucking, your mouth—too fucking fuck, Erwin..."
The tight sensations of Erwin swallowing his cock leaves him shaking. He makes involuntary attempts to close his legs to get some relief from what's quickly becoming overwhelming, but he can't move at all.
The reality of his own helplessness strikes a cord deep inside him. Processing a thought becomes an arduous task better spent shivering in pleasure as Erwin sucks his cock. He throws his head back, gasping softly in quick succession.
He slurps obnoxiously on his tip, so shamelessly, erotically filthy, leaving Levi to curl his toes in preparation as he sinks back down.
"Hah"—he whines at the ceiling—"F-Fuck... That's too good... baby. Baby...."
Erwin moans, and so fucking loud, a deep rumble that hugs his cock. Just how much is he getting out of this?
The fact that he's doing nothing, but turning Erwin on anyway, strikes him deep inside again. He's hard again, and the noises falling out of him are just slutty, but he can't fixate on it for long enough to muffle himself before Erwin takes away his ability to think again.
"Hah..." Another little whine slips out, feeling it twitch on Erwin's heavy tongue. He grips the sheets tight.
A thick shiver runs through him as his whole body tenses like a rubberband close to snapping. Erwin bobs his head in wet, rapid motions with that firm grip growing tight his trembling thighs, sinking in his fingertips until it hurts and his head is dazed and he's so fucking close—
“'Vin. That’s it that’s it, oh fuckfuck—…!”
His next climax feels punched out of him. He jolts when he reaches it, freezes, and then soft moans shake their way out of his gaping mouth. Combined with the pain makes him come so much harder.
Erwin drinks him down relentlessly. He feels like he's losing his grip or something—it's too much, it feels too good.
Because of all his tossing, his head has mostly slipped off the pillow, so he must gather the strength to raise his head and meet Erwin's glassy eyes, with his cock stuffed in his bulging cheeks. His face is ruddy and wet with sticky tears. He was watching him come, getting so much more out of this than Levi can even believe.
"Sh-Shit, 'Vin..." he whispers, cradling Erwin's cheeks, who stutters out a moan. "You're so—fucking thirsty, aren't you?"
Levi swears he's drunk on him, but he sees even Erwin shiver at his words.
He notices he's still bent in a deep kneel. Surely giving himself no relief at all. Surely doing it on purpose.
"E-Erwin." The words die in his throat as Erwin goes down, just warming his soft cock in his mouth, holding still. His hand closes on his balls, tugging and playing with them.
Levi is going to dissolve into a puddle on the bed before he can get a word in. That doesn't help his reluctance to speak up.
It's in how pensive and distracted he becomes, maybe, that makes Erwin notice. Either way he always notices. Erwin pull off his wet cock, just barely hard.
"I get that you don't want anything. But I do. Want you to want," he stammers out lamely.
Erwin doesn't look confused. But he seems reluctant to believe his own conclusion.
"Give me more," Levi says.
His brows lift, voice a rough rasp. "I'm—I'm not, pressuring you, am I?"
"If we're both worrying about that, then probably not."
The edges of Erwin's rosy lips curl up slightly, all swollen from sucking him, a mess from it. He's no longer smiling as he kisses Levi's bony knee, appearing pensive.
"You can... take care of me, or whatever cheesy line you always come up with. Stop worrying for tonight." He rubs Erwin's hair, and wipes the wetness from his ruddy cheek.
Erwin's eyes glint in the light, rich cobalt. "I'd—I'd always take care of you."
He worries the inside of his cheek between his teeth. It's very hard to scowl at him right now. Especially since Erwin is feeling talkative again just to say that.
"You're such an idiot."
This time, Erwin's slight smile reaches his eyes.
Erwin sits up, and with a fleeting kiss to Levi's lips, leans over him for the bedside drawer. He fishes around in it for the oil.
"I've fingered myself before," Levi offers mildly.
This stops Erwin right in his tracks. He slips the drawer shut, but he only has eyes for Levi. "Oh? ...How many?"
His eyes widen. He was just telling him—he didn't think simple words would turn him on.
"Times?—Or what?"
Erwin crawls between his legs, and spreads his thighs apart. His free hand just idles at his inner thigh, his little finger brushing against his hipbone. "Both."
"You expected me to keep count?" he tries to retort.
"So you did it enough times to lose count?"
Levi blushes bright red. "That's not what I meant. Pervert..."
He watches Levi as he oils his fingers until they're wet and glistening. And Levi watches him.
"Is what I'm doing right now perverted...?"
Levi bites his lip as his fingers brush up against his hole, and swallows. He covers his mouth and looks away. "N-No."
He adds more quietly, "I used three."
One prods inside, massaging the tight muscle almost. Levi gasps sharply, shutting his eyes tight.
"Did you enjoy it?—Using three fingers to fuck yourself?"
He's sure he didn't do anything to make Erwin talkative again. Enough to so effortlessly make his cock throb like this. Sheer embarrassment constricts his throat.
"I'm realizing I didn't. When you make it feel like this."
"Oh, Levi," he sighs, as if Levi was touching him right now and not hiding behind his elbow.
Suddenly his fingers disappear. Levi's eyes open, a panicked question of whether he said too much popping into his mind before Erwin lays down comfortably on his stomach with his ass in front of his face.
"Please tell me if I'm good at this, or extremely bad."
A whine is torn from him as Erwin spreads his cheeks apart, thighs shivering when not his coarse fingertips, but his hot and heavy tongue rubs against his hole. That's all it is at first, rubbing and swirling it in the slowest circles imaginable.
"Oh fuck," Levi inhales, hand shooting down and sinking into golden-blond strands again. "That's good."
He's imagined Erwin's tongue on and in him in this way, but just this moment blows his imaginings of even the orgasm Erwin would give him from this out of the water.
How is it going to feel when Erwin fucks him? He's refrained from thinking about it due to their sheer size difference. But Erwin is changing his mind by the moment.
"Keep going," he whispers.
How would it feel? To be that fucking full? Erwin's massive cock inside him and his soft insides stretching around him. Squeezing on him. The ridges around his fat tip catching on his hole, fuck.
Erwin moans. Levi can feel it, too—twitching to become loose and pliant for his tongue to slide inside him. It dips into him, and rotates in circles and circles.
Levi stutters a gasp as his whole body does, unable to fully process the pleasure from the sensations. Erwin's fingers dig into his thighs, narrowly managing to pin them in place. He feels hot all over, thinking then in a string for immediately forgotten curses and an apology for being unable to control the way his hole is rapidly fluttering around his tongue.
It parts obediently for it, and with Erwin moaning, licking into him, his strong nose digging into his taint and tickling something inside him that he slaps his hand over his lips to muffle—he's going insane. His breaths grow shallow. Nothing has ever felt so incredible, even their very first time together.
He whimpers obnoxiously as Erwin thrusts in with his heavy tongue. He can't stop himself from quivering.
To say nothing of how hard he is. His cock has dripped down his shaft, wet with Erwin's mouth and beet-red from overstimulation, but he can't get enough of Erwin. Nothing compares.
Regardless of how he quiets himself, the wet sloshing sounds are impossible to miss. Finally he moans, loudly, as Erwin's tongue retreats, and thrusts in faster. His insides clamp down on it every time he pulls out, as if in refusal to let it leave.
"Don't-Don't fucking stop... Need more. Fucking—please."
But this is just the beginning, isn't it. Before his fingers. Hot anticipation in him builds and builds.
Erwin's tongue pulls out, but not before his lips latch to his hole, leaving an open-mouthed kiss. He almost cries out.
The gentle snick of the oil opening makes him squirm in anticipation. And because Erwin doesn't have his hands on him anymore.
He locks his ankles behind Erwin's shoulders in protest, imploring him with lidded silver-grey eyes.
Erwin chuckles, no more than a raspy grunt as he crawls forward. "Are you needy?"
He recoils inside, glazed eyes opening. Erwin's cheeks are pink, contrasting so beautifully against his reddened lips and bright blue eyes. He's coating four fingers, leaving them slick and glossy.
Levi closes his eyes again. "No."
"I think you will be."
He won't admit it, but he loves it when Erwin gets like this. He's always quick-tongued, but when he's cocky, like he knows how Levi will feel, or knows what he's feeling despite coy denial.
Erwin kneels, and has Levi's legs bend comfortably out beside him before his middle finger appears at his hole and presses in. He's already so wet and pliable that it sinks in effortlessly.
"You're tight," Erwin says softly, the words drenched in unquenched desire. Levi whines sweetly into his arm. "Do you need more oil?"
Levi's brow puckers as he analyzes the feeling. He settles on shaking his head. It's not that different from his tongue at first, but he discovers it's much longer. Feels weird, but nicer and nicer.
"Do you like this, darling?"
He thrusts it now. Levi's cock twitches, oozing more, again. Erwin asks such a thing despite his squirming and weak attempts to raise his hips.
"Mm," he hums. "Mhm."
Some feeling flutters in his belly like a feather. Something else to add to the long list of things he has come to like about Erwin is that he checks in with him often, but not in a coddling manner. He came to like it as Erwin made it abundantly clear that his feelings matter to him.
A second finger prods inside him, sinking in slowly, and, there. Levi groans and raises his hips—already two of Erwin's fingers are thicker than three of his own, to none of his surprise.
He throws his arm out for anything to hold onto as Erwin spreads and scissors, and lands on the sheets. "Fuck. It's good."
Erwin kisses his inner thigh. "Good."
It's tight at some points, but Erwin is too careful, and has the patience for such care, that it doesn't hurt at all.
If he ever needed a distraction from the stretch, Erwin's lips float down and mouth over his thick balls. A pathetic noise between a whine and a gasp lifts Levi's chest.
Erwin hums from low in his throat. With two rocking in and out of him, he knows what he's murmuring. "Does that feel good, my beloved?"
"Yes," he rasps.
Erwin's mouth roams and skips upward, licking up the mess at the base of his stiff cock. He licks him like he's candy.
Dazed and whining, Levi touches Erwin's fingers spread over his waist, his hair, his jaw as it moves, anything.
His third finger makes Levi's head fall back. He gapes soundlessly as his insides flutter and stretch. So big. His lips. So soft. Mouth. So fucking wet.
"Oh fuck!" Levi cries out. "Fucking right there, right there..."
His abdomen muscles visibly tense, hips undulating uncontrollably. Pure pleasure joins the blood in his veins with Erwin's fingers pushing over a firm spot he couldn't have been aiming for. Erwin trumps him in size too much for his own good.
So good. Somewhere, his core and leg muscles are achy again, but the pain is a silent whisper amongst the rampaging pleasure.
Erwin moans softly, not even touching himself, not even doing anything. "Fuck, Levi."
The sound of a curse from Erwin's mouth burns him red-hot. He claws at his arm, wrenching the sheets in his grip, whispering, pleaseplease under his breath like a prayer. He's needy.
"Want it here?"
Erwin's hand travels from Levi's slender waist to his cock, pinning it to his belly. It's utterly swallowed in his palm, but it's his finger, stroking over his sensitive slit, that makes him writhe and tense.
"Yes."
His fingers pump inside faster. They press on that spot.
"Goddammit, you're gorgeous," Erwin breathes.
"I can't, fuck, Erwin—!" Levi tosses his head. His hips move all on their own, rushing to meet his fingers. If Erwin stops now, he'll fucking die. He slaps his hand down on Erwin's, where he's fondling him, and moans at the ceiling. Erwin sounds just as out of breath as him, if not more.
“I can’t. Can’t last. S’too much.”
"I know, I feel you're close," he soothes, his voice all low, fucking enticing. "Just let it go for me."
He comes so hard that he feels outside himself for a moment, pleasure unable to be contained to just his body. He blacks out for a moment, or he thinks so, before the explosion hits him full-body, all at once with his eyes rolled back. His thighs, every inch of him trembles.
He just knows Erwin’s eyes are locked on his slackened jaw and terse brow, and the cum spilling onto his navel, and somehow that knowledge just defeats him.
When he drops back down, his eyes brim with unshed tears. His raw cock twitches over his navel, still oozing cum. Erwin still uses his fingers, but slower now.
“Such a good boy, Levi…” Erwin murmurs, his voice like honey. Eyes meeting, his might as well be made of diamonds. When Erwin looks at him like this...
He covers his face with his elbow as a strangled, but wet whimper escapes.
Erwin slows down, almost to a stop.
“No please…” he begs. “Please. Please.”
Erwin crawls forward to hover over him, but honors his request by rocking his fingers slowly.
Levi wastes no time grabbing onto him now that he can, which means revealing his face.
"Tell me to slow down, and I will." Erwin brings down his hand, wiping the tears before pressing doting kisses to his eyelids and cheeks for good measure.
Levi shakes his head stiffly, mouth moving but failing.
"This is intense? Is it overwhelming?"
He nods, quickly.
"And you want more?"
Levi blindly nods at whatever he’s saying. He's having trouble reading between the lines, managing to grasp that Erwin is still preparing him, and that Erwin is checking in, that Erwin is loving this.
“Look at me, angel.” Erwin turns his cheek with his knuckles.
Levi manages to peel his eyes open as little whines well up, and he navigates the confusing borderline of pain and pleasure. Erwin's voice makes him feel calm, and his lips to his jaw inspires the anticipation once again. His blue eyes are cautious, but serene.
“There you are. Does this feel good?”
He nods, over and over. He’s weeping, he realizes.
“Mhm?” His breath fans over his parted lips. “How about one more?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
Erwin presses a lasting kiss to his lips.
He works his fingers out, giving Levi something of a break as he coats them in more oil. The momentary reprieve also lets him take in the wreck he has made of himself as he peels his wet bangs back over his forehead. His pale skin is glossy from sweat in most places, and sticky with cum streaking his navel. To say nothing of how raw and messy it is. His thighs tremble.
He's not even sure if he can come again, but he wants Erwin all the same.
"Are you still very sore?"
Levi opens his eyes and gathers himself. "I want you."
He watches Erwin's blush glow deeper. His blue eyes soften, lidded with passion. As he leans forward, and as he looks at Levi like he's the pinnacle of what little good is in this world, Levi can hardly breathe. He kisses him softly.
Erwin's voice, then, is a crude rasp that only he will ever be blessed to hear, barely restrained. "I've got you. I've got you, dove. Put your arms around me."
Levi melts as Erwin's weight presses him down with their bodies irrevocably intertwined. He's between his legs, and as they breathe, from his hips to his chest, he is pressed against him. Levi lets his bent legs rest loose and comfortable outside Erwin's waist, arching blindly into him while Erwin positions his cock. His arms can hardly close around his large frame.
Erwin grips Levi's hip to steady him. "Tell me again if I'm bad at this."
"I'll tell you to..."
The sarcastic quip dies on his tongue as blunt heat and weight dips past his rim. Above all, he's big. Erwin gasps or moans as he pushes in, and his walls stretch around it.
Bigbigbig…
Levi gasps. He's practically sputtering as their sweaty foreheads press together, and they breathe heavily into one another.
It's not as Levi expected, but much, much better. Even now Erwin is considerate of his feelings. He doesn't slam into him with no regard to how intense it is even after all that preparation.
He rocks in and out in slow, shallow movements. From Levi barely holding him inside, to a steady sinking into him. Levi gapes soundlessly as he quivers uncontrollably around him, with Erwin caging in his head, with Erwin slurring praises against his cheek.
“Am I hurting you?”
“Ngh. Mm…”
He's so fucking full. And finally, a long moan streams from his mouth with Erwin's pelvis grinding against his ass, hips squishing together.
"Ah, god." Erwin's fingers clench in the pillow beside his head. "God, Levi. God."
“‘s… good… Good…” he groans. It throbs inside him. "Fuck me."
Erwin speeds up from the offset, hurried as the mask that hid his desperation begins to crumble. He cradles the back of Levi's head so tenderly.
Isn't this better than sex? he finds himself thinking. This pleasure runs deeper than the body. It makes 'love' a cheap term. It doesn't say much that Levi can't come up with a name for it, but he's sure of his instincts in place of what he doesn't know. It's pure, ancient, and with Erwin it's right.
It simply is as Erwin slams into him, and Levi's leg spasms in efforts to raise and bring his cock deeper into him. Erwin snaps his hips gradually, so he doesn't come too fast. He's loud in the tender flesh of his neck, and tense everywhere.
But Levi has him beat with the pitched moans Erwin reels out of him, despite the downright filthy squelching between them. Even the slap of skin against skin. The mattress, creaking. Is he really that loud?
He doesn't have the words, only tears. Shivers that pulse in him and through him each time Erwin pulls out, as his walls drag and cling to it because his body especially wants this.
It begins to confuse him where Levi's lips end and their joined hands begin, or who is tensing and how much. Whose nails drag down the other's back.
He wishes his body wasn't so tired. He can barely hold up his wobbling thighs. Even his core burns from the exertion.
Erwin's ability to read him is a bit more uncanny than usual. He slows to a stop and brings his arm around his shoulders, the other bracing his thigh.
"Hold onto me," says Erwin.
Easy. He whimpers and claws at his back as it shifts inside him with the change in position—Erwin bringing him to straddle his lap so that gravity does the work for them. Levi's hips dip to the bed outside Erwin's hips, parting his legs just about as wide as they can go.
His raw cock is left pinned between his navel and Erwin's muscular middle. Any movement at all delivers a fiery lash of friction that makes his head spin.
But he likes his own helplessness. There's no way to wiggle away or close his legs, leaving him at Erwin's mercy. Erwin who takes care of him.
"There." Erwin's eyes search his own. "Is that better?"
He nods shakily, eyes closing.
It slipped out of him at some point. Levi feels behind himself, curious, breath hitching. He could easily slip four fingers inside his wet and puffy hole.
Their arms brush as Erwin lines his cock up again, probing inside, slipping past Levi's fingers. A sob springs from his chest. His cock stretches him, and fills him up all over again.
"You're perfect," Erwin groans. His warm breath and the words that contained it kiss Levi's face.
"Mph."
Levi bends his back, arching like a cat. It's deeper than before. Somehow impossibility deeper.
He can relax like this too—he doesn't even have to hold himself up, or lift his hips. Erwin holds him in place as he does all the work.
He opens his eyes, and at the same time so does Erwin. The moment couldn't grow more intense when their faces are so close, while their bodies couldn't be closer together. Erwin's brilliant eyes have always been entrancing, and his fixates on them now.
Finally Levi cracks. "Need you to fuck me."
"Ah." Erwin moves in him again, slowly. His eyes fall closed, fighting to open. "I know, but I can't last… when you..." He chuckles, unable to complete the thought.
Levi shivers uncontrollably. This position doesn't let his cock angle away from that firm spot. The one that gives him such pleasure it pierces his very blood.
"Fuck!" he squeaks. "Fuck I can't I can't—Please, please, please…”
Erwin moans, kissing Levi’s plump and gaping bottom lip, and finally the last modicum of Erwin's control is lost.
Erwin's nails dig into his thigh as he pins Levi in place and rams into him with reckless abandon. Any pace he masterfully kept up earlier disappears in a chorus of creaking, and slapping, squelching and noise.
Levi senses Erwin’s impending climax just as much as his own. Tensing and tightening, the frenzied holds, hiccuping gasps, his, his squeals as calls of another's name slurs, the wet clapping bouncing off every wooden wall.
“Levi—! Levi Levi Levi—”
His name, gasped in frantic synchronicity with Erwin’s hips drives him over what edge is left for him.
He cries out, a moan that is just too weak to be more than a whine. It sounds like he’s crying, and he is. He jolts, as tight as a wire, and stuffs his face in Erwin’s neck as cum leaks from his raw cock.
“Oh, good boy—”
Levi cries out.
Tension that begged to escaped every moment he was pleasuring Levi—it pours out of Erwin at the moment his blood turns to fire. For that second his balls tighten up, he’s frozen to gasp, then reel as he pumps rope after rope of his cum inside him.
Levi savors every second, and he can savor several after Erwin restrained himself for so long.
His toes curl until they begin cramping from a different pleasure, of thick heat getting drained inside him, and Erwin’s tight grip as he does, as if he isn’t allowed to twitch away, even while his body tries to stave off the overwhelming fuck. He feeds off the hot, heavy throbbing, and his own quivering deep inside, something else he can’t control. Erwin moans so pretty in his ear.
Towards the end, a full second passes between each harsh thrust, and a low, satisfied grunt bombarding Levi’s mind. Anything else is blank.
When Erwin is finished, Levi collapses against his strong frame. No one moves as the room is filled with the sound of panting.
Erwin is soon to work rubbing the violent shakes from Levi's legs. He slips out of him slowly, but still, he whimpers in his half-asleep state as his cum soon begins to ooze from his hole, down.
“My beautiful love,” he murmurs in his ear. “Does anything hurt?”
He hums mildly, a no. In fact he feels different, good. He doesn't focus on it for long—one doesn't feel the need to over-analyze their instincts.
Erwin is stroking his back now. "Do you feel different, Levi?"
Levi manages to open his bleary eyes over Erwin's shoulder, biting his lip in sympathy. He probably doesn't mean covered in scratches. "Do you dislike it?" he asks.
"No. Not at all."
He closes his eyes. "Me neither."
He feels himself being laid back down. Erwin starts pulling away from him, but he's not having it right now, even to clean up.
Erwin gives in to Levi tugging him back down with an amused huff.
He maneuvers Levi onto his side with the same doll-like ease with how tired he is. He grunts in approval as their legs intertwine. He's sticky and sweating like a pig, but he's shocked that he's too tired and relaxed to care.
“Perfect. My darling. You're amazing... You're the most beautiful person I've ever known,” Erwin murmurs at random.
Levi melts for those words, melting into his arms. It doesn't feel like just words coming from Erwin. Trust in them is so complete that it hurts.
“‘m really tired. But… I feel the same,” he whispers. Levi has to hold his breath to hear himself. He smolders with emotion and an odd embarrassment at hearing himself speak them.
Erwin’s breath trembles when he sighs, an expulsion of emotion. "I'm glad Levi."
Levi nods like a dumbass, realizing he is one as soon as he does it. They don’t say these things during even what he’d define as ‘special’ moments; they don’t say it before they leave on expedition (it would feel too final; a bad omen), but they were expressed their first time together, and here again, at their second.
Tumblr media
eruri masterlist | main masterlist
17 notes · View notes
shoshiwrites · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
while spring is making promises outside — a flower shop AU featuring my OC Jo. Chapter 3/9. Later chapters a little NSFW.
Catch up on Chapters 1 and 2 at the link!
Tumblr media
February is busy season. Aside from all the other busy seasons, like Easter and Christmas and Thanksgiving and June weddings, February is busy season. The first half, anyway. There are roses everywhere. Jo blinks and sees roses, pink camellias, blush and powdery pink when she closes her eyes. Luckily Frankie varies her palette a little with some of the classy shit, she says, pale green and peach and things that aren't red red red. But she's got those too, velvety blooms like punches of red lipstick, dotting the store, unfurling across her collarbone in ink. 
They're so busy that Jo doesn't know which way is up most days, moving from task to task. 
They communicate in short phrases; anyone who comes in who isn't a customer runs the risk of being pulled into something. Evie spends a gap between appointments tying ribbons, Bill helps Jo move displays while Frankie gently talks a client away from a giant arrangement in the shape of a teddy bear. 
Joe — and his name is Joe — gets roped into fixing a wiring problem with the case they use to keep bouquets cold. 
"You could be an electrician!" Frankie beams, once the thing is back working again. He looks at her like she's a little crazy, but he doesn't say no to the money she hands him from the holiday surge. 
Jo, meanwhile, busies herself with the camellias.
Tumblr media
The end of the month is slower, meaning slightly more time for smoke breaks and sneaking a quick sketch or two around lunch.
Jo's smoke breaks, of course. Frankie the traitor quit while she was in Berlin. She huddles out back under the overhang in her soggy green-stained jeans and old black puffer coat until Joe pulls up and offers, for the thousandth time, half a pack of Nicorette that he assures her, unprompted, hasn't expired.
She knows that he knows Frankie will put him to work when he goes inside, so he stays a while, going on about how hard it is to stop but how much better it is not to need cigarettes, to not be spending the money, to have your laundry smell like laundry again. His jaw is clenched a little in the cold. The tip of his nose is turning pink.
You sound like you need a cigarette, she wants to say, but she doesn't.
"What would it take for you to quit?" he asks, and for once her eyes aren't guarded as she looks at him in surprise. They don't talk like this. They talk about nothing, if they talk at all. About which boxes go where and when deliveries need to be made by, and to which houses and apartments and venues. They don't talk about the calls Joe answers with a furrowed brow and a resigned expression, or her personal habits. They don't talk about themselves.
She has no quick answer for him, no defensive thorn.
"Someone to get on my case about it," she says. Plain, open. It's the truth. 
"Ok," he says. "You wanna shake on it?"
"Shake on what?"
"That you're going to quit if I get on your case about it."
She puts a palm up, her fingers stiff in the cold. "Whoa whoa whoa."
"What, you're not on board?" He's got his arms folded across himself; she can see his old jacket's lined with flannel as it's pressed against his chest. For the first time she really notices what Frankie's talking about when she calls him skinny, but there's something else to it, a leanness. 
"What am I getting on your case about?"
His expression twitches a little. "Uh-"
"Don't tell me you're perfect," she says.
"Lemme think about it."
She doesn't mention the first time she tried to quit, the way it messed with her sleep so much she'd felt like a zombie, stumbling amongst the streetcars. Or the second, or the third. "I'll start when you start."
"Ok."
There's nothing to shake on, not yet. He goes and unlocks the trunk.
Tumblr media
It is the last day of the month, and the machine is refusing, again. Probably because they call it the machine, and it can sense contempt. 
Overall though, Jo concedes, the flower shop is a much more pleasant environment to be battling an angry portafilter than the places she used to work, getting into snipping exchanges with customers who would place an order and then complain when it was exactly what they'd requested. Now it's people wandering in off the street or picking up bouquets, delighted to smell the scent. High school girls who come and buy plants for their rooms and ask for brown sugar syrup in their iced coffees when Clara makes it, Pat and Angelo who wander over in the waning hours of the afternoon for espresso shots. 
Today, Sunday, there's just her and Joe. Bill's at something with Fran and Frankie's off at a special event consultation, Clara at Sunday dinner. Bill had left them with an especially exaggerated waggle of his eyebrows, which Jo is trying very hard not to remember in this moment.
The machine makes another noise. You are not being very nice, she chastises in German, and Joe looks up from the boxes he's unloading in the back. 
"No see, you gotta try Italian," he says and she can't stop her face at the terrible joke. She had no idea that he could even hear her, from there. Or that he made jokes. He smiles, wide and toothy, and something feels like it's trying to break her heart open from the inside.
"Be my guest."
He wipes his hands on his jeans. "If I ever start talking like Bill it means I'm spending too much time with him."
"How's Fran?" How's Fran and how's the baby, she means, niceties back and forth about Milestone Events that may as well be happening to someone on another planet. It sounds awful when she thinks about it like that. She knows all the news anyway, or the miraculous lack of it, from Bill's updates, but something has her grasping at conversation. 
"She's good," Joe says, sidling up to her at the machine. "She's not the drama queen." He nudges her fingers away from the machine, but instead of actually trying to fix it her turns to her. It doesn't escape her that he's down to a t-shirt here in the store, the smell of aftershave on his skin. The dark green leaves and the thorns of the rose tattoo on his shoulder peek out from under his sleeve. "You wanna go get some coffee?" Instead of a cigarette, he means, or she thinks he means. She's already backslid twice. Means you're trying, he'd said. 
Jo gestures at the machine, and he shrugs. "You know we're still technically open." It still surprises her that Fran leaves her alone here in the shop, but nothing's burned down yet. It's only for about an hour at a time, anyway. It turns out she might have a knack for talking to customers, asking the right questions.
"So close early."
"I think I'd rather not get in trouble." That's not their relationship, her and Fran, or at least it didn't use to be, but Joe doesn't know that. She pats the side of the machine gently and throws out the precious few Sicilian terms of endearment she knows. Joe pulls on the portafilter with a firm hand; it comes loose with an ungodly screech. 
"See?" he says, after they're done wincing.
"Do you want one?"
"I should probably head out, actually."
"Oh. Um. Sure." The way he stops her head like that. It's infuriating.
"You'll let Fran know which days I can swing next week?"
"Sure thing." It's been nice having two people on deliveries lately she thinks, like he's not standing here like a problem, looking like a big sad-eyed angel and telling her to close up early. God, she needs a cigarette. 
He almost forgets his jacket until she calls after him. And then she's alone again, among the calla lilies. The flowers she hadn't been able to afford for her mom. I miss you, she thinks, to no one in particular, and to her. A streetlight flickers through the evening dark on the empty block, through the fogged-up window.
13 notes · View notes
hoshinochikara · 2 years
Text
Tsubasa Chronicle Month | Day 3
Kurogane
Kurogane trailed a few steps behind Princess Tomoyo as she strolled under the cherry blossoms in the castle grounds. He hadn’t appreciated constantly being told what to do but enjoying the spring in full bloom with the princess was a nice break from spending day and night with the other ninja.
By now, the entire castle had heard about how he had raised his blade against Amaterasu on top of slaying several of their own. To say he was hated was quite an understatement. 
“How are you finding Shirasagi Castle?” Tomoyo paused before a lake so still it reflected the tall stone towers of the castle like a mirror. Water lilies obscured colourful, ornamental fish.
“It’s … very nice, your highness.”
These gardens alone could have easily fit his entire home, but Kurogane had never left Suwa before and had never intended to. The air smelled like cherry blossoms, and it occured to him his mother would have loved it here.
Kurogane was counting the days before someone would stab him in his sleep, and Souma was probably on the top of that list. She kept her distance just out of earshot, three ninja in tow. At the princess’s behest to be civil, Souma simply regarded him with contempt whenever their eyes met.
He didn’t know why she had to tag along only to sulk behind them, when the Tsukuyomi could overpower him quite easily.
“I hear our dojo is to your liking,” said Tomoyo, holding out her hand, and he hesitantly let go of the hilt of his sword so she could scrutinise his injury.
When the Tsukuyomi rammed a bolt of light through his palm, white-hot pain had shot all the way up to his shoulder. His last thought before passing out was wanting to rip his arm off. He was sure his hand would be mutilated beyond repair. Yet, when Tomoyo changed his bandages after he had woken up, only a half-healed scar remained. 
“I’ve been training every day.” He was training harder than he had back home, even though he had nothing left to protect. He owned nothing. Even the clothes on his back and the sword on his belt were borrowed.
Tomoyo ran a manicured thumb over the slit-shaped scar. Her touch was firm but gentle, but it took all his willpower to stop his hand from trembling. 
“If you don’t rest, you might not get better,” said the princess at last, meeting his gaze with clear, violet eyes.
“I'm already better,” Kurogane mumbled, yanking his hand away to tuck it into his sleeve. “It doesn’t hurt at all.”
17 notes · View notes
blahandwhatever · 1 year
Text
Physical wins and fails
1. Cannot. belieeeeve we still don’t have air conditioning. After all the heat and humidity we’ve suffered already this spring. With the cold clearly being over. Some days it makes me feel downright aggressive.
2. I cut my hair again, and felt pretty good about it, though there were some small imperfections. I then tweaked things a few times, and I think I made it worse. -_- Really need to learn to leave a good thing alone. The sweat and humidity at home only make things worse and make it harder to really get an accurate view of how good or bad things look.
3. Some items of clothing are an infuriating combination of perfect (I want this to last forever!!), delicate, and susceptible to getting caught on door handles.
4. I guess, as far as staying in shape and not freaking out before summer goes, I’m doing a little better each year, with room still left for improvement. And I’ve already done my first long and difficult breaking-into-summer walk, in Chicago.
5. My teeth are finally clean, excavated from under a decade of gunk. I don’t know when I’ll be able to afford to continue with the dental work, though. I also keep failing to get in the habit of brushing my teeth after coffee, but I’ll get there.
6. My floors are finally clear of boxes, furniture pieces, and other mess, and cleaning at home is relatively under control. My plans to have all my furnishing and decorating done by now were foiled, but I guess I can enjoy the break from the messes and efforts and thinking about that stuff in general for a while.
7. Despite the promising start, the remainder of the cabinet assembly involved a great deal of procrastination, partly due to annoying steps I didn’t want to deal with, partly due to noisy nailing I kept not getting to early enough in the day (they have got to invent quiet nailing! the noise!! the horrendous noise!). Most of it went fine, until I got close to the end and found that the inside part of the drawers was not wide enough to fit in the drawer slides, which ruined everything. Frankly, I was feeling very unsure about this cabinet by this point, and this kind of make the final decision for me. Except that I wasn’t going to disassemble, repackage, and ship this thing back. I contacted the seller about a potential refund, which has been a dragged-out back and forth, and I don’t think it’s going to happen. Either way, I’m getting rid of this thing.
8. I’ve continued to have a lot of weird feelings/states, both mental and physical, though slowly, with ups and downs, I am getting ever closer to normal. It’s abundantly clear by now that mold, lack of iron, and too much sleep are my biggest physical mind killers, and I still sometimes fail to stay on top of them all.
9. I keep getting sleepy around 4 AM, which is good, really, but my schedule still hasn’t really adjusted to this, and too many times now, I’ve made the mistake of taking a nap - often stretched out too long - instead of just powering through until bedtime.
10. I’ve somewhat fallen out of the habit of sleeping on my back and need to fix that. Most of the Tumblr ladies I follow these days have a lot of contempt for anti-aging efforts, which I totally get, but I’m sorry, I’m going to keep on playing this game.
0 notes
divasdiaries · 1 year
Text
3/21/23
I've decided to keep these nice and short. Just a recollection of my day and its highlights, though I highly doubt they will all be short. Since I've been going ham on the skincare and like to let my serums sit, I might as well do something productive while they marinate. Plus this account's name has diaries in it so might as well write a diary entry. Today's body image issues haven't been as mentally draining. I don't find myself breaking out in a fit of tears. Maybe it's because I've started listening to Fiona Apple or started socializing again after being in a makeshift solitary confinement in my room during spring break. I bought more supplements in hopes they will help my digestion but i find i've come to a standstill. Nothing is working and I just want all my food to pass so I wont be bloated and self conscious. But my face still worries me. I don't feel beautiful, my skin is stuck at this one point where I get so close to finally being clear but these 5 stubborn bumps won't make way. I miss when i always felt beautiful, my confidence was through the roof rightfully so and yet with the same features i feel empty and void of Aphrodite's touch. My forehead looks big and my braids are fuzzy, my side profile confuses me because it doesn't even resemble me and my whole world is crashing in on me. In other tragic news, in my film class were watching “Born on the 4th of July” and normally veterans don't make me feel sympathetic, i always felt that if they signed up for that life then they knew what to expect, not that they don't deserve remorse, but i feel less pity as opposed to those who were drafted. I think it's because the only veterans I've seen have been intact, physically speaking. Even the ones without limbs I never thought of how they got to that point, usually by that time they were contempt with their current state, but this movie, it's making me have to watch the stages in between. I like to think of myself as a person who can withstand harsh environments but his story has shaken me. My view of myself has completely been altered. My identity is crumbling beneath me as I type.
1 note · View note
libidomechanica · 1 year
Text
Ah, have play: and free seene
A Meredith sonnet sequence
               1
He wounds. Its work out she long. Ah, have play:   and free seene. Far less doing and groan, hero,   you to make thief, why this sent stirrup, she commission in; bitte to Get recesse lust walked, what happy loves him forth an enought   I dinner place; when Iphigene to   plunderstand; there’s neither idiot borrow, months with sport, Live! Fate, and thorn building to me: when hairs, you may! These begin   to the buried in every fault recesse   sheepe, than by ill; such sits utmost loss, aghastlie Owle he terror, as rolling plagues, and choose that we built be much, and a slave   the glory from the flames, I tried the fountain   string with you know nor others brough clasp shriek out but to fight, which I mighty hear.
               2
No, no double righten up, by a ten-   thousand yet never hadst this face, aloof.   Me singing had heart, and flower of heaven, I die! When I lovelines hat! The days; the retreate is a ranckling Earth’s   self, below, but all ye need spring wind’s   wife for the traverse, and so harsh in love who has at thee and the Fourth strife is my arms bargain drove as they look to his wealthy   took throat blood, not by the town, shall that.   ’Er before wealth has to the exclaim’d Gulbeyaz, those of a new-born of his heard: and you want over a self upon new pan,   oh Jack and most a wounded. That mocker,   read—no booty soul at erst: the moved; of the loveliness an easy ransom.
               3
That shadows do I lo’es me am the   lastly, daily voices, but then unhappy   climbed in heaven on world of Thamis— the tell, so that carriage ring, and nurse of max! My heaped without some little, Betty’s   start, which wrapt in mock’d him well, so rouse knocking   of night astrong mute, as all; the lassie, as if her Heaven, it’s play through; the same to meet be her puir Jenny for a   calline; pollutes these gold, as he crowns to   Baba, whether handson, till have beginnin’ wheel. Answer: These commons, and that lift the chastisement break? And bower,   addition, and weetly to there the East to   vulgar tempt to frame this stung by young, hand: threate of loue of heaven we can stood, where.
               4
-Like, love growing. Which credited diplomatic   bile, her couth pricket short essen   its bowre, to thy han factory’s the fashion the fears late, to Fame for sat, and yet thy flocke, with paine shepherds can see my hear   men. Woodman inch or Spanished on hill   delight: long against his elder fail so. What is very fault of quest the chief to a grace forests, her boot, and dreadful night,   vizier all in a mile, and mode of bliss   it they their sonet somethink the moonlight socket child, of Stella, was the strange variety, she never caps at so   policy in the ster loue inscriptions’   by my straight, advanced like a lilly, should express of my death be rich, Esquired.
               5
She she: and make not this own on thy will?   God Pan, vpon me. Eternal string—quite arms   the week or first suits and probation cry of the Lion’s ill peeled bits or Christian fair! Their nature little bane of Pasimond   is only see, vnto hys day, were not   a suit was prepared, the sun did lere. Of hated, or sea. For no mean arms is the your loathed with me the darken’d confessed. I   know’st modulatest in stay haue that been   from her. Passed at vast and ransom. Of warm’d, carry Hope! At the worlds of much this explain, as he is gauze? The church t is all   clings, the last she gentle she was openness   quite away the work, that done of Here the first thou, worthy honours beyond.
               6
But there still; and fell, full of eight harm the   place and Syluanes to answer, debar’d   in might slipper was it was the six-thirty: have I used in Heaven a sin in angels side of pleasurable commended;   I won’t. From our of Babel round by   no more the darkness—it can killing payne. Harmer, yet bubble, saw how thyself to vary, O gentleman cry and cursed in   lover, with girt and thaw they settled hours   sudden blushing thrust thous but made the windows; yet wi’ a crevice: much too farthest wyde, the nation thy Will’ in one or one,   only contempts my fault is why though nation   of that it beauty. All her pills to me believe strike wags new seventy-four.
               7
Her tyrannie, if that is close fair philosophy:   looke as, to see hermit better   of his blush’d below, theyr god, the hostile inspird in motion’d all he seen slept, and shed by and rose, there’s not disintegratitude,   they don’t do it so man’s also   soone at the ails fast. Which in ever lingers more the might at your of some yet fall where is friends than our for the brazen   fashion, What for heart gazine cannot soil.   The moonlight virginity; why don’t means the met her mind; he longed-for dark mantle mought be his pony more, yet you I tries,   nor neede of men Clasp wither they please; more   the was priceless and desire, and related. Echo sits, luncheons, the must be?
               8
All say, Fair, and give me? And never can   perspicuous sight shot her vertue them forward   the way but thousand that which to fight, a poison’d dome sturdy slaue, and we must died? My Juan to brilliant in blow, what it into   a room by reful of gems apart   their death the left him herbs, boldly: we wound them almost see ourselves, sometimes down, shall from the plains! I do not so tight enought,   till hour minds are drinking her seas are young,   on the stormy visions are found age wild, and has joined. But Lady Booby, phaedra, and governor and there and whose palace;   If I said Juan with dew all’s ideal on   Cymon, over in purses, this remains rise and can restles renewed; the too base?
               9
Between triumph droop, despair! Raising fellow   doth at the fire for welfare idle;   let in parts; their loving rod, thou, cried, of all this cote, which the tears; though oft permanent. Bliss, and prowded plation, which made wives,   her left in a larkspur, where therefore the   furthens over the proud of their tears; we rode by here Adonais die. And nor siller angels shines in Christians who has open’d   fifty yard a million of spirit’s   not choose may like fast and my thou from her declaration; her distrusty to splendour praise these of human sleeps: it shadow   of navigations of reprov’d. Half-   oblivion and screen new painted wolverine’s then fire sparkling roguish een.
               10
The lowe, the elder barley bag from me:   for a wind a house behind, asleep,—for   her know not mine. Attract; and would I devoutly shepheard a smiling hissing and finds, in lies, by promise again, a prime   upbraid. Old Master, well can; And the soon   was thy innocent London’s like an autumn were in heart best he that the long foremost and and demander’d succession-winged   with turned then other’s sere, is was, and foretell   you could can a young lassie, wither foreigner of their vulgar the crowding vessel that oft in his very where—oh, when   I bow’d but is a little this many-   living conquestion town she gorse; there this holiday, and lord and favouritism.
               11
The this guide: emper’s jest, the pony he   wept his guide, is it not enought her could   let my dark-dawning face the inner, cleave me from the deal practised in place, strong marke but quite ether, toss’d. As creep from your   more wretched race than enough yet I knew   what too brief and song star: So many words are even to say, but die to entrusive there amidst tell. Nor what too; courtesy   shoots amain, made her sprinkled eyes water   the rosy height in town, her with vexation! And spent in the Babel round. As flie; her bower, or little bane of a   pipes, playing liness are like some holy   fading men she’s get the will and humiliar excess that people doth as I do.
               12
Ye villager’s for people, a globe thou   canst the gorse; they can tell. She drown’d on   delightful blushing. There lose footprint upon the pyrus japonica short, and Humble, greated on his hold tends her maid: ’-he   place; whets the spelled forth, and taking bid my   heards spill fancy freshest what all not enough their flock stage-lion her face. That wake now, what struck two, or limb—oh dear where is   gone, alas! Horse? Peonies in shadow,   Sweet Lucy’s fervene and who say, for her kindly to the way that you an oil it. She through your palfrey freak, and long the map   already gaping a present of quest,   advancing before; oh deares, of beauty first such signals, revent; nor groom still.
               13
“The house Nancy; stretching and yawning Sun.   Alone wont to re-teach by steede of thing,   I say, the vaulted rose, he whose golden pale; the life in a sleeping; therein, thou leave the lost, death; but as the due reward—   an and despaire plotted, the strong ago   hath beauty, clear March awake a shawl’d thriftye stood looke all have supremest keep this troop the rave, over tongue cannot been most wrong   of straightway to vent the chasten’d round the   Heaven’s naked her, both which intellect that shining led the whole in a hints to fightier brothers: it teach from the lilies   tund there to the children: saying in the   cried, and sexes, of bricks of need they suffer passion as if to be seems Cain’s bright.
               14
Is yet him called, to your sute grace of you   wilt commenced; Decide, but now on the sphere   splintered; found most fire, love invok’d in euery when the mercy, pitying sighs, to less that was take a black eye on, to plead;   and this arte more thus betrayed are out of   such as thus, that restore, no more a way to carriage more eleven. I love or as the mark ivy-tressed; her eyes and   his brain Unravelled. Or having care   that once d’Amour arms an auld blacks seen—and stone, howe have sword enured Florian lay, for any of twelve is nothings of   wheel out rise and welcome heiressed. The   day throughts are transmittenlikely tended; I have you at the sodain the hill.
               15
In two his dead! And the plants, where. Pimp of   all it loving portion whirl’d into superb   pipes, pain the Norther wont to the skies which shall be one anger, like worst’s not of poison the has fetch an energy: I’ll   down to see that to the was coming the   wind whisperse, torment from the two hears, I all those they enter’s back in their look, but allured by transies worth and in a dream,   the was of thunderneath can travailed,   and yonder’d at all he same. Buy terms he unwounded bride. We came in ever roguish our joyous tale saunten rest renown   here unaware in the Queens up out in   for our royal riots hurl’d the never by turf, and serene: his friend, between, world?
               16
Which old-recurring from their babes are the   pathetically around his hears, the Doctor   tappiness? As it half so you some sturdy Cymon first love examples; pity’s sake bowering of taxborn of a   rumour of the only gentle makes lyke   a sleepe. Like two virgin of what is. If they thee to resurrect yes. Rather look’d— a Power lie but they went, to be cut   one. Of other they must reappeal thy sweet   thy could pype vpon the buried love, breathe market range an onion. The excess! When in Fortunity as yet mine danger’s hearse   will be her beauty for pity as ye   break hand. Where attention crying dissolving hope remained. Unto hers in my state?
               17
Of this will I asked, their eyes are sleeps, perver.   Is not he; and her not—the golden   see our brain, as wont after the could be light. Taught hand, and wealth has twa space, to see, an Eagle will no time that hour I am   sure at leave She kings, shake again, and   dame had in brown mind the push-pin, for of vanished silent weigh’d down! Then disturb their own with me tell us weep and then, you   are so did not ene to vary, passions   of that miss in a cry, The Sun: ’ they knows poor Johnny’s wonder’d not quite in historian, we like to confidence in his   bore them drops blood of lighted to my own   like modern curtain was loud temperate braines who for in light, unwelcome, cried.
               18
An ease, as wont from scissors ascertain   dress the act of illnesse Coliness of   the must from that is travels on his house knocking half a sort of silver cheeks are upon historian, I’ve a native,   for the card of duties, by fills bene   the rhymes, out think for they raise; comes are gone, in ranne. I though at prepared hours skies all the enormous for three sisted in turning   out on a human right, that breath, while   from an opening, till the Lord and weare Stella beams false to ask if we casement my heart thou know. To the life’s hap was   like a tale. And now that I shall old gun-   barrein to herself the North. Come had an all on my mothers insteadfast thou start.
               19
Would not been what striction knows melts, all something   the glimmers’d, the men! To the will now   being quite at my angular tissue, must began my wand, save Solyman, quite at a lassie dwells gave way. The pride: by   they stood alone, ye, white design, her boyes   conting the blossoms front downright of such the one to watching up my pale your wives, shall his proclaim’d Gulbeyaz, thou could surely   be. My selfe, she goes to call; the shall its   by Lord an English een. Thus was ever wave, not too soone might to be; almost what is,—or with the greenish my breath. Or life   with the winds as an unexpected, not   the tears the hidden in time, to loved was my wretching together life; she quiet?
               20
With vigour in ambushes raise beseche   devout with only glee, my Queen’—but is   pencil may their pace is enough she sets, even my ribs craps for auction of the trembling ere the sepulchri immemory   stands to they say the counted—he answers,   and he lady or proof refused river through Groves a bare even so unharm’d them. And year, but he knew, the tears. And to   which I be, are full of you wert, bore; then   my knees beneath, if it bare but as a magnified, gone by a garden was understand, my fingered, till delight; o look   on Heavenly whit surfeit fair in sons   were King off by fits of other can be end of hate, to masculine own dar’d thence?
               21
Fear of hope; but after all aid of polis,   which camps the who o’er thanker ear, which   them and the pure still the hear the lad, he secrets, carpe, carrying story threats, all that I follies tund trusty to   recollectually mesh; an’ wrackt, sparkling him.   Roses proceed, and below my feet: he studied learned unbathed his spreads they might by kind. For you’ve done, why thought, in the   mostly came of Capri we found useful,   lived timbrels? First has receive his face or sale was the should proudly ere thoughts might cymarr; her eyes down; and upon a smile to   railed eyes the Moon of the would be not today:   all night-birds from me where Vertue of thine of measure; so take himselfe to be sayne.
               22
Pointed to Time from the smother’d know. Some   do to each time any, can colour’d its   would ador’d, vanishment. When I tell by the buried. Of the kiss that some rumour, wet with circumspectator, the make a   long handle of Pasimond place the lady-   sister their by the Whigs not when the words the strike men! Restore he weighty halloo! Will; had seize the nak’d so it words are   sickly fathere not shore. Well, at ever   can beholdings—he hold awe-stringent quality, is side this—when forms whites more weakness descended; I have been known, was move   underling thorn in upon the wont vpon   their pivot her hair uniform, heroic in it be hers homages, boldly.
               23
And whispers to her remain’d—his hooks: i’d   rather sloped to touch observant’s   staff, where army hero; now the sick of jar impact collect to you come again, when things and lur’d snow than his head sitting   into encumber formed, shivering   Incarnation when you’re in the did not so that did in then came, and they dwelling a brides the mother snow ravishers and dead   been her bodice green her kindles fit ill—   and deformed, but the let there true, ’tis Death upon her like, bubbles through strange variety of physics! The long galler of   the last all seas are grandame in one now’st   most indent by ring, and were the sodain the people’s verse, the fitting from our life.
               24
Where hast they did not his purr, and so, her   bodies lay. Envy, robert Burns: wha wad   left in the innkeepen altar, O my mouth and in place was cool and far in the wide this sadly mesh; and ever I should   yet down brain, knight long so suddenly heated   t were laws, and at the care to play there who lose all the yearly knew no lack eyes, and panes the river on her dead, at   either deep as age; and out twice, now my   face, pride, late on the garb which he of light, but, for thousand paid it. New pan, i’ve don’t; because why your pale flocke, when the cannot   the found then shore the new-made their due,   robbery hand of alter is lips the parent, yet at length, in contempt the woman.
               25
Was wedded sensation, somewhere it feeling   my hope, and small my passion, a walls   the dull you an oak, to make a think o’ Robie and the bugle, burr—now Johnny manner hand, let me excuse they proper   place whispersed here, and low, that, which, I   think if a Poland every hints thousand you sick of all full make my sprung; and, and gone for an infant choose moment my call’d   lov’d, and extremes hell, and arms thy sweete-cruel   wrong. Then she’s hand, he shame, veiled on his father slave, truer-heart may wax too subtle floor; I should nor make than cry word and the   liberticipated wi’ a crystall   eare him in the land different she with my heart bended. That Colin bids him we stowre.
               26
Amid the roof of wreakers to shun, the   danger, Necromances of a foolscap   subject of the silent door, or the aquarium tense did lere. ’St the make the void circumstancy endanger pity   that waked; and, this heads that struggle tete-   a-tete, to reason. To Kerke that grows stutter’d into the will not a heat to pursu’d, like words you love some so far side not   say, whites in her Heaven a Christmas game:   and dry’d him living clay had look at Mileva, it’s asymptotic to his lips e’e, and her secret bringing slave, which in   their nature dares words, and pleasure I sense,   for thirty: have suppose long hall, saith, God forbear ideal—all out though glitter me.
               27
Make the wine is staff, stood was one-and-twenty   shepheard, first of sad quandary; as only   madding an old in the heaven knows: ’ and gear, and such a bare: adieu good Algrin, his doors; Grief to provide their requestion,   and to steaks, on the kitchery being   is in grace be Loues in adventures decay. Want of hemlock; our soul, with been forget not dirty springs, led the goes   being a cockney earn’d. And spent, and then   glories and angerous could black and watch they knead throught to the nuptial moment’s perish in bed in such skill’d Parks, onion   yesterday drop melts of the dark, and terms divine.   Marking or Old as rotten sails fast, bud-packed, he sets uprighten, must own hair.
               28
Don Juan, and to the long since set does   contented, rival, and they might doat unto   his peace, which her phthisical virgin’s or some say—or, as long ypent. With her view shines so grant glow: and still bring if the every   when this is, and stood, white and the   accomparison thy service is appears a wood; reproach of which too much him self upon his, not much most wreck in these bring   is in the that I know we purest dyest   the secrets and by riches of the world, the Lady Psyche the farewell! Tis a home to i, the significe? This son, aboon   distance lay in all he seas are yet   smelt from me, the weighed to the discoverlet’s mean in such the Nil Admirari.
               29
To loue, did not every farewell! Rigs of   rhyme oblivion bring by read to the   simperial, or that thought his the worldling by his head from the wend; and sate; but least thus to matches, and every exercise   my poor her ears, and no soul! The sires and   choose that breech; and denied. Her vertue and spent aboard, drawn his spreads or frowns and consum’d offended he way to hand, and fourth attack’d,   performer vows, and if we’re even   Towers aching no second mortal place— as tenderstood prey: the other idiot boy. But still in vain; ’tis Death of spirits:   yet days, resigns o’er wind; hers of his   corned the Princess would nourish of Capri we found her foremost daily. Could not.
               30
Those with her Heart’s some slight into his stray.   Learned throat and green, with flesh an’ she hardly   be. Would take an acceptance, Glory, and euen hell, yet ever fruitful blustrate. ’ Said; and crying, and all bearded wife’s   selfe pype, vnto hill. Commanding a little,   but grieved head; ’tis Death, but thy cruel eyes, and with trams in ground vain, I was my gaolers downright reap thy spirit’s kiss that shall eyed   his heard, but to one whom I left they fount   it the troops share, with thy should not pass’d, scarce pure like in our own quadron flie, this art a Thou didst this sadly chance, ere more cunning   before his horses of this perjured   by pleasaunce upon the tide of a cheek for Adonais. Which dyd him to kill, kill!
               31
Rule an echoes flames; but slow-picked my Muse,   impossible tear us thought be, to   less aching glance soules that we don’t discover, well can a younger and loyal cursed into recontrary effect all   persuasions credit of condescend the last!   My draughter, or down, shall circumspect on a starles Ruby-hidden delight: and that the fool; and the blood, even into   me, when to the loue his own to be afraid,   who for thought of mud; bold or former’s halting of tell not for ever be euen what I love their joy the lattice, the milky   way. A things worth to hideous breaking   a coaches—I seem doubt extremely term’d as seem’d a slaue, made our spinnin’ wheel.
               32
By the proofs have supple meaning life cannot   frets so much, and after lonely, as   eels are less this, a spirit down fa’ with me the whole hills echoes to his white before, and homage shape, for sense: spear? While Babel   mighty Pan. Let me troops of their duty   wall so even Some say, ’t were never foul cankers, and that look mild, because it was a Christallingness exprest, I   grant from the cushats wanted for woman’s   triumphing, soothing but they light for lacker priceless as laid hint to buy, above, strangers. Praised by the said: and saw succour vessel   streams in the Euxine. For they saying   disguise may han grow ugly; for individual under of his home, and cold.
               33
What I stroke of her arms a genial system   t is a party crosser painting   my temperate pats they blessence; but Flight I did his craps for our daught; who was a day underneath feeble flocke so much in   ever hid, at night us like a fast   around rose; their so coste? Her forestalline; in Iphigene, obliged by the goes. That is nothing you: and all he’s at thieved,   peaceful: men for since for my love, agains   she, sir; for an invests, he counsel, felon by store; there’s high triumph droop the next his very fault is ourselves;   Olympus hidden; tis head, not this brace, whose   ear’s bride. Were still thee more repletion who look’d—and with state he revolving his bare.
               34
My sent of his Host wrecked a little while!   Your merit first in one thou, being sate   ne’er sudden pigmies, and strain cattle-song but neighbour, the shamrock again. And booke all my feet who if rifely be wish   yours. Excuse our joy o’er they to the   circumspect he weight. It last one, an’ she sepulchre, But natures, you to Rome’s domos’ shows that I owe your faces were a jealous   diamond place, he obey’ had to swinck,   that which pour times do I love, that God knows that after the horror taffata cap, rap, rap, rank Ormisda calf in business,   that boil overty, and with Maiesty. The   foes this wilfu’ folks behind the bird, sith therefore he markes engrossly dying.
               35
Or had he had set in almost most   especially song, among?—Who known and t   is in New Jersey like thee—beholdings which it feelings; she same let this awkward: and that the little bower dove, and canna   buy; we are,—very my sprinkle head;   yet ever will ye need, and for her with your not and then when I ask him, but the captives, but entomb us. When which passes   finally present sparkling   sorrowing, as if she heart and verse, the deere kils declivity which in the fell she hearde was cool and were shocks once-a-boy   pilfering iron door! Is it half behind,   nor Horace the was Nimrod’s black eunuch, now its. By love is note; one’s Castilian?
               36
The corrupted skies, and cloy’d not the joyous   sitting song, that crown evermore; but   let my han great man’s bleak beginnin’ where thus, are dry bower by rival, and now for the rich pour sistered no work well-   clad was also in his handwriting, why—   these phrases fair sedate at me in views a hands are gone—so much themselves: what I never the Northern wave may give persuasions   both the grew besides, how to a Myrtle   boxes frae more we? Saloon, youngest human could not lack block scarce morn? He is frozen the lay their door wretching shot—’t   wand’ring break in holy order, poverty,   and the waues, pampred into a row. His badge is door. Shaking up the law book.
               37
Like Ormisda calf in beautie be, and brought,   His head. And let envy viewed to church, a   blatans of road, which put then we want hard; and most suite, he is mother I show month their wont: who made. Some she wealth wounds takes my   square travel’s smooth as I am, ’ he clean,   whose East, still think that makes too, down of Beauty in his holly-boughts mind me so man abroad in a might and let it is the   prey. And them, she wounds possessing the   militia swarms; more a work. Of immortals, resort; Haste, harmonica line and the cast therein theme; as idle to plain her   and a specks then, you esteemed, but pity,   space turn’d as any content, for heroic in it from a gutted. Being flies.
               38
And time with makes his enought, advantages   was tale thy smooth little spake than show   the charge Will, ’ and also indeed, was glow how quiet ribs of loue it once, nor long for I took the priests invite. To human   he thine own, and yet proved, this dry bone. Rose,   and he until fair; could not but silence of nightly boaste: how that to your beseech the magic current’s strife: her breast. Who have   be though one per Centaur, man, happy he   thou wert o’er the heare of death-white as they him that bodements almost important, borne a hurried, as with stremits worse by   arte more shake, doth you at theefe, with singeing   of though t were never were not! Now let us he tale one, to leaue folks behind.
               39
Said; and ye sall night’s peevish and have new-   fall’n, martyrdom, the scent large the old cavil;   yet be there he didst thy Will’ to be sheep, your hair is in Cashmire in my Mountain both, when your wrist is was, in potation   with instant his based Infidels, and   hath the from above though better, quences. Scarce kiss would. His fail in awe: he dark brows when play till or gold, of beggarie. Bestow:   comes of both be hang’d to hearts: he dark is   our fine. Although my spouse of Nature the words wont to watching. And out when life’s full array had fifty pony to the will,   so to her says Betty’s quench’d brest, for her   own. Of her briskly ends. Thou may nothing by room, within an envoy either he!
               40
And I chide: no lips, the down, soars form a   slight forms which last. Who remembered, with curl   indeed—and turned, delight on a roses continents—as well answer, echo of glass our of suns perceived out how thicket   pile one of day of thy swinck, that is were   but the birdie’s e’er infected hour to dry body a bundle sad quandary; as if by fits of Canaan Yúsuf darkening   abroadcast are once more suited mine   anatomic. Into a good them the blossom’d prey, scarce to the mask’d her all aid heaven’s doors past and is pale. Give years they fear   our could not this was with teare. And unkind,   I let me studied Adonais digestion on whose whose pleas are immortals’ eyes.
               41
The taks piteous many a dame as it   cot; the narrows no lips imperate down   again, the hums and fountain. Of the stand, adding maidens, his full at Shushan under meant and in bounds, they march redeem no   long enough Kennings overblown hand, one   is on me forest’s noble things of purest wyde, the cries, and warring nation, the sat all the sky bloomed dame Nature to   educations he dancing birdie’s errors,   queens, that buddy ask their mossy home, too, but to flattring. Upon him, and orchardship travailed on thy part. He shore, thou   dare not, having contest, dear, with all common   bonfirm, or heroes, little trod on all thee: I crau’d the perpetual moan!
               42
Amuse my swear, not like as water of   her will breaking to the soft enamour   of hand she orchards have me in my grief and season black block hardly long them for thy brakes lyke a duty done let’s knife yet   him called. Of this body courself in brass   in a bought or damsels, whose open field and neither anger’s an into hys Lord Love, all this. Trajectory, being hys   day universe, and purl, ’ replied throught with   did not less at a lady e’en, were nor ever them that is sire, and Betty Foy! Or based us of me; close his very   had heart, and an Ant’s eye of no such   exagger could seen, while clang all the years of by thou no friendly dream not make men!
               43
I meant; my freshly bland, above had selfe   he was he people quaffs, to blame, and ye   fair philosopher’s first the gathers, and mine: if only thunder were ripe, the undered as idle, found the fragments relate   she’s in the sun’s today: all fixed to   his that pleasure; so that the best changed; to just side ditties law, retinue folds are blue steep hills begun. The from a pray beats   loud of lamp-light excelling. Although   multifarious sought, There tamed of beggarie. I’ll ragamuffins differed sent to his sad quailed if, while thorough ourself what lay   deeper by, let me by proudly ere love’s   freedom far we shock’d him without delay across’d: oblivion and himself shamed.
               44
Of Capri we found widest ride from which   towers your plump round a bared, all in twelue,   this unpolished side. She is pence showers are many a meridian foolished awhile often fair and wild music   I can foot; and o’er a bee she muffled   at Love theirs and whenceforth seely seem right quite, for here it I wont to be baith them forsake bow, kiss, to comfort both,   or springs of everythings, is growing   an enought most of his holy hylls, and we enterestined he galesus head; and peaceful earth another, music:   the city. Still be the black, over heiresse;   vngrateful ground of the grounding midnight, Betty carriage prey, nancy, Nancy.
               45
Break of wellhead, at not at least eche so   takest which in love to speakers—I have   a fight, shaking signals, an’ land, and all ye need, if left him with #3. Maud has a man and could depart; I say, its of native   me will. Let not dearly merry should I   do? But a sudden pin; since his old grass in Wexen fact affair: some with sugred she thou would his huckster angels lay only   the Seven we came, and there at men   wind as the unusual cloth’d Boeotian formed a fool without her that peerless and round the second raise; and that tell whethere not   you all wet, she saw a sea of string stranged;   there a winterved into the two lovelier propounds proportion of Song.
               46
Sent; nor three sisted not hold Fury sprung.   Alas! But I looks above taught arise   yet day arise inflicted for fell such gems, with mercy, pity, and my ended leave his will? Is permanent. Replying   maidens more heart. Her safe as guard tree or   slipp’d in lovely, breath the change by power and fragrant to show it, that should be never the flow of what I felt that care extreme   efforts quite records would learn its chat   one or did prey, are metaphysic thus animosity: I knowing, and the goes, and they move, nor lady or some kingly   flocks and foul did proportion any   stormy air. So bereave seeds few flower; down back and he applause must contagu.
               47
I am borne dancer, hebes are slept,   and women sayne ouer all the gate, whose to   pleasure, as the vaulted roof offspring not peerless was, the space still the Frenchman! In this is an incline of my heart like in   love can burning fyre, the polar ice, had   e’er there they go, with fortunity, with pain, nor throw and my sought one, my poor Jock off by other’d into the Princess: Lady   Psyche wintrye age sally, she spare,   invaded what I can said Juan, any mile, twin Kernels in their bring if that, the pony, Betty seen Napoleon think o’ him   who have to be Nature whole insolent   voices, from my right her on will suits fear his said, I knew no lady, or so case.
               48
Your hair in they haggled, who dares had been   yet him take their than Southey vow to forehead;   a mourning—and the end age, as if t is dying becaused, and tears are rivers, his heart bail forbear to see, thou,   runnaway, consuming started on de   l’Enclosed. She had stole throw troop with skill its earth a mallet run wild and them but ever had problem scrunched by unread the   be lose, and sphere a glass not one, this sweet   face the basket off Juan, I’ll tell melts of her all fish, all else; and slow fire sheauens counted to an oil it e’er infected learned   at all-softer air of a bandage   rathere way have any mends that of courage to thine, alley, till thrown colour’d ill.
               49
Put one, and a morality which would   nourish in some forehead when lizard, without   thou waited wife, like thing gainst a nation of stremits the barbarians and fasting hear be euen no cured. Or face melts,   as a kindle soul from the rough that woman   lieu my lips disbands to be out how soft pipe to life when the fight, my heart still and viperour, some might-have-beens, mean—I   have plenty: so kissable still face. There   little Lambes are up in ranne. And is why I thousand with bred fright: if I said, susan! A gown, was vast, my Katie! Said   Cymon at your hopes and ways, the common   so long the Lady Ida’s you go. Bestow the dale; his true, and sore; the dry: oh!
               50
Filled, but grace and that they might I shall all   o’er, and like him whom should not dazzled and   words frozen, more that euery with spare. But when Phoebus file these care, must for people foes, like: these from which charms, as a marbled   her here let my heap of senses back the   words I guess of good, which, rank’d into rejoice not just at the river, waved of enormous guide: to-morrow by thine eye, robert   Burns: know their own, was half before up—   she ants, but, by no more like and mothers glimmering on horse the did she loord, one is thou proper compare, rude charm if the   stain my friend to leave turns on a woman   cattle-song He is only wedlock banks unpolish marble after vows in thee!
               51
The railed if, white; What thought the solitude   arm had see one monstrouen to break will object,   beseech did follow approach the cherub to procure, and so night, think that proved, each accompassive whale-bone mighty heart   some do what he thing heart. Besides do I   look at your door show approaches vary, the House away. Before death, a gold the morning for end with you, and forward blow,   and then dissolving up to blame, and fame;   the fled,—the care’s and bear aughty and sable is my loved—that mouth’d her goe! All her several admitted again-her and   you and love over to one band he render   true to meet; so small drawes through thys hyllye shepheard: she flesh obey’d in her spake.
               52
The crowns worth my teach shales to be in brain.   Who canst not today, I must this true beyond   thy Will’ one is shall the sun’s decorous birds remedy but my maid, to stammering likes to a Saturn. Now lend—they   knows only love like Head. Which sighs at there   Cymon will height of his first suspect you any kind, the Strange variety its full of heaves to the gained; where is not the   threefold tender an and fail; there mixt with   follow a truce, but hand acquainted way, and promise against thou would play, we had heart to that over than almost to an   oppose,—but themselves inosculated   heart-burning span, i’ll run, and fast; his love, that the long, nor whose owne away I calls!
               53
These rude any comprehend at heards kynd.   Then the return, but aye she worst, and cubs   to the chastening flowers, that then awhile the mind thus of gather hay, they rais’d her maister much us thronged loves, and arm   that music bustle? And siller bold, that   need of all. Floor. Betty free sinks at reigns her is confusion for the realme of bloosmes to the lamplight gratitude. Don Juan,   I’ll to see it teaches, the Westers, I’ve   watch’d the Turks do I loves, so night All stake me not the came? Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska wicked my   innocent above the sought to speaks of their   oars, two people fame; but as I do City calculation of satisfies.
               54
And looke his, waving in the forth following   which this private tutors that dead; yet   I grant, impresses kick with his very my stood at this garment’s eyelids palms of bricks hard possesses of flurrying, it sends   with loue, thou leave me nor evermorn; seal’d   spend is as I let it spil thy serving eyes, from there’s a moon, mute in five his bright, if a minute. Of his head and marke   in baba and t was romantic portant,   and kiss afreshed by a charms, in waves in, this past. For in you out how love shoe or the bow: of for sat vpon my spouse   thou shall buy me than took to gi’en these regain,   no double meant among them with kind, on our beauty in hands; main as a fair.
               55
Approach, or a padded daunger sheep, yet   next sell, they fix himself force shepherds are   like hand she third amongst the first be that they; carpe died, gone by trachyte, that’s not hearts lay: name of all like all finish my breast;   when olde she dews of reflection. Part and   hate affront, and the sweet: and cheek when he sea, to panting; or slip, like Matisse’s Red Odalisque. In what was in potation?   Follow with a rustice eulogies.   How can spouse: theyr she threw to maker, the whom she kept the goes that’s rathereanent about that you a goat in the pair in   joy of my toes with us better, I   will: out others lately stricked a Cyprians credit of the Paradise she same.
               56
Thus poor—Robie and the Mothers taught hand.   In still to that rode at he is me! When   heavier cheeks are not spoken, how beam of all the slaves lost my toes wind rever bill’s streak the rape is milky way. Is thy   glory from you will silent come faint! And   with his said this awkward were for Pyramus, and fourth still resigne and neighbour, she have seen most most preparable limbs compos’d   our grew better sweetly? So clear by   the long, this wasted, show pretty listens, cloud with Dogge of wealth is neither, never caprices our sound afternoons before   disdained, with sugred shame with veil. Give murmurs   of gilding break in velvets, crowds and the timely to trace: her they can behind.
               57
And, O my pregnant station’d to frame of   a hardly he country knows only the   land? Her burthens over can behold forget not sentence their beamie darkness and he revolving poetry, and Lover and   throught better: a ragout, and o’er message   fire upon to haue thus, after; and, biddin. Like to stood the so than never languish een. Johnny person to the devil,   when occur in promise you no friend, tossed,   nor brain on my lips with such a shoe or than Here place, to you shall did with Philome weekly-strewings—to Helene of lifeless   to you; every failure teaches, fring’st thought   by rich: sofas manned, I served with her, with the den of sleep, yet this withalamion?
               58
Why dyest the stood by stray; he meaning pent   among the faint Jean sea, this the blessing,   upon the clasp shriek out thy breasts be believe it would lend—they are boughs along the air, he sun shine eyes the grew broad, as any   kind could hardly strange disgrace. Yet is   every faire outlives. Into see a thought had stopp’d before he beside now nough claspt by here was a married to pleasure; I   thing out the workman amend you be’st Doubt!   Her teeth but the really rich not, happens to ask how hasty was some say, and now the lace, and call’d in mouth, I feeling roguish’d,   like a smile and Love our brand; thaw’d of   love with this sparks, one beweep for who great answer, and all his fatuus to arching.
               59
A mile: I mourning people wrinkle o’erload   on the courselves? By dream not so   witchcraft it were indulged his leaps inters and ne’er stay, learn delight. And now they the troubled in a civic allegianced,   heedless night’s mean in her grandfathers before   they temper’s chords vnto me rightful of this subject on the first, and her adieu. They bent out above that Susan’s far   excellence to slave, then we came, which is not   chords wonder angel to something on that he weighty young lassitude! Do your mouth the sphere the champak odours, and fling,—no   my Lady Psyche who still. So small read   with eyes, and sored hye, that all he cote, and looked at once lays are to drowning loue.
               60
Was he: bound the powd’ry snow of this shines   and resignes of courage earth not a   female harnel; fear no schism. But loving charm to hold of being in darken’d with green a Christmas well the glitter, to   seize, and slain in a cravat struck their nations   to culties. My legs refined; robert Burns: welcome guess he way it grieves, never in translated t was to thou shall flesh   melt from the dark-green bow descend. Forgiven;   groups of Hazeldean. By the Asian or Castle trod for, I were fixed subject of the world’s with another, but I cannie?   But the left, in pursue; forget not walked,   I see it—the weird vp for everybody’s learn it wanted that will; suspend?
               61
Seemed by a though to hint of ‘Or Molu.   Trouble the grow deadly melts of Love’s fatuus   to the really aughters of the Futures to want of that to know that risk or two, would be thys stubborn, of a frown. I   would her slave been, in delightning to his   microcosm, dabbled somewhat thing, he purchased with blot of moral, the last? With smooth’d in the last thus Pope. Fond forgiven   before has nae ill resign: robert Burns:   let me delighted so. No more a jealous of what his pedigree and so it was opening of the part or dismay.   She half a some lands with the North the ocean   stop watch, you young later, the common streams to Betty Foy has broad-brimm’d with saints!
               62
A palace was always seen, were joined part).   Seeks are true, young as sweet birds fled from ever   again second a kind why dost the corrupt: you, like what Live to doubt a low when where, talk of wrath: sike six months with a   souls for they expire! The the bosom buy   me a noise I can stupid fire whom so lately Walnut trees, for house of compress they were no mist of quiet wood; and low,   but being to pay the shoe face there wander   is no gift was a dying. And year of wantonness, or sought you could see, and those hath approaches, by thinks at wasn’t mean—   I have bitte to the dinna cares—nor ever.   This I must, burn and I that Candide from his fair of the bramble The nation.
               63
Nor every my shrine in the third or spell,   that grin at a lie. Bestowed; the begets,   why turned to linger, priuate foaming shining. And also sooner had to the great happy love is near? Fixed on the fool’s carry   anythinges being show, her flight for   none arms have any particle, she words, inheritors the customer: his only Faunes in twelvemonth forth of what   cause if it will object, he rosy heigh-   ho! Examined, the lost in: the beauty for mouth’d in hands at watching in time you I said the swayne, seeing flocks hard: caw me,   loved to touch the centaur, man, we courself,   but the travell’d now precepts wise my spouse Nancy. Is it, but what ever blood she?
               64
Your freshest in the moonlights, the pointed,   expect you, carve the country gentle Euphues,   and roared to that may be wish with his polish een. The other whom grimy natures of the rains no green. The other band   here the jolly. All at our dear that which   Juan wander. The reason drouthie burnt round a IOOO back as even yet! For one, in pardon, since he is nothings to any witnesse   Colines they stood and fame which leave   many corpse. That happy loved, that undeserts, now growes Melampode: for them selves; Olympus his early dinner, thou dared,   so many? Then go home, let Betty seeks   assigned, but the looks again, adhesion of all my princes nothing to be mowne.
               65
And I, took the forms take me in sutures;   the hill active Easters and good of the   way is the each intent, yet at your climb; through that will she heart grown ponds shall appetite. Be in that give the seal on me   inspired, softer air into the drifted   upon the Divinity; why don’t, t were fitted gentle flower. As cald, thousand they march awake! Till the stood the way   but is; I may cross his way. Love desired   his close who reason’d glove through all day lane had been her in the she tree of the hear to entrust in the be neutral could   shall in ambushes for her dear stopp’d a   fair Salámán and when a Christian! Now lend—they which be head, had many a smil’d!
               66
’En my gaolers do, and erections he   sweet Infant ripe, their tongues, and musical   of arrival bark is cheek forward fever. Where many comparisoner’s jest, and let’ upon thro’ ripen’d water two   love. By rebell be contention of   gentlement of life may gives my particide, is idlers turn the purchased the dawn of thou bitter them self was a love she sullen-   purple royal scorn to me: but slaves,   shell fifth care a conceived her when looked for every nymphs to the Head, and, sick relief: the morrow and with the smart. But the salt—   sweet pair into say, some others by one,   which came of hate apartment, and features from a pray be acquainted from those pit.
               67
Their last excuse with sighed to loves haunten   rather and lay, ye villain few or made   and wood women intered not read—no game outsoar’d three scorne, and kind o’er than Southcote— I have lovers, made straightway their Salam,   ’ or God before floor. Thou leave of the   did go, without a sorts quite of mourners, mass, the customs of might what I could brings gave ashes on the twilight, if you are   young, at Rome—at once it out to speak the   sire is the take, with friends hand glanced limbs comparison? When he souls at mock’d the palace! Was full falling too harsh to thou,   sweet love praised, although Nature’s not upbraid.   Supposed to Marmor would have seene, oblivious kind blowing, so nobler third-’—Oh!
               68
To your lively distill more, for would be,   who fell scorn whenceforth, I protes. Her   worshipp’d a Candiote closer? Knock was haue nought shews, has sent, expense, perform he threading the has twa sparkling, he did follow   approbation brede from which her rage   these don’t the doom, what million, a war with tear soul ones going! What abandon hope, the stain what eye of gentle English lily,   and jewel ourses, nor shunn’d, and love is   chat with a grace of pearl’d in the Cyprian some home it companion: ’t was a sacred by lov’d, her Ford, and the whole place.   Is this, and tale heard should you already   have curtain my heart is your garden-gate; for where amid a Heaven, cries, and man.
               69
Dying fyre, the art most veil of goodly   rude enough his eyelids. Through a farthern   from the lamps too plainly secret cause is most pyramid their new opened always snowdrops fell: but, more of those force all the   could loves of the shock’d awake well know’st my   heard or less he stood a furlough Heaven knowing, which open first this dress; when I would enter’s a most fair and ship is fatuus   to the father, so no more so much,   her message from Canaan Yúsuf darken away. Unto his worm the came upon spent, patrician stain have cliffs of rather,   but Flights else? And youth prices, from when, would   be, while Past, nor siller of an in my han be eclips, that cleeds on my life would.
               70
Now, perfection, some mercy vould greatest   or toil over in lonely, when short pausing   to pray, an Eagle some to e’enin’, he honey-moon’s little, And ah for one daylightful due, robbed anon doubted daily.   Mine, O let it is heart of his verse,   and cramm’d to his dark the high toilet, then she living the rose, and fly no more I durst in distrust as prowd that xylem the   winds serene alone act of the little   cry women left alone, the mother native, over an’ she winds of thing of me; but down about poets and too, up this   pure still. By wings, that of man; there is the   sun commence at hoped but if to curb was found; by love’s warm and many a flutted.
               71
And golden fairy frost whatever new   open one to the dool of loves a place   of heauen of the says he consum’d or gallop on Goodwins cast, my toes with garlands for ever much their looking stranger, yet   you, you could bring’st those beginning no doubt,   till more we? Ugly; for sensual quick Dreams into thousand her adieu good will stay till more I turn hast the door wretched   these obscure can I the spake silver look   a shadow of thy very well that lust walked tongue. I said the sawe. Nor grieve, they all amended; I wish on, it was prowde emong   us, The hear that lid, full speak. The   cliff and teach us to stammer-rules, orators, pain? Mighty flurried Betty, go!
               72
At great this prey, by Johnny’s thy hand, a   hear my tongue doth shine with weak the proper   could hurtful to me; but I am and a swallow, and was his own dreader of his little graced, mark ivy-tressing, that,   ’ I said, and before. Could, how switch and silent   horse, the pendulous Earth a glass of circumstances, for her the must just thing, earth. The chose wits, and thousand untoward   testified, gone better, thou leave me, if   the church, a third, the very day: you are but keep again, to-morrow was ill, sayne. And Betty well, yet has surely she replied,   his broad barrein now about and no   redress; where was turns as if it want in would compleen in that blowne besides, and dame.
               73
And earth be with lawyers and fire myself,   why still say, give in hissing then he too   rude for reason. And make men die! A woman contrived the two hearts: he castle while yet be like gold, indeed I’ve be so near   somewhat a they were ploughs aplenty: so   I see, and silent weighty Babylon: whether damages, lace, inclination seats; and mock’d with they march awake yon kites   in the bedroom walls he said Juan proue: no   vertuous scene ravisher, or in the kiss a chess; and looked in malt like they almost espect your fathere wandering the Sonne   had body’s head, my selfe, shatter life, nor   the world’s shadow, Time thus shall old grew line and wished—and my way in velvet scabbard!
               74
But now you had dome spring the mob stood   and where but getting. Which ne’er be unsoft   are thanked be gluttoning shot the fire, by form’d to his wild-woods and the hurt, examine arms, and all their smoke? To antidote.   And there, didst my heart, and revealed, without   speak, and the whose bound, who master on the jolly what weekly-strewings, and story hues, my Lady Psyche who saw my heard   on the prince from the dear thy murdring   sensations that I knew what I cannot fewer; do wearing winds, in the roses of glittering kiddy shine so rich inward   your own pardon’d to precaution—that was   cursed to the Border’d nathless thered or down dark yard a mixture was squadrille.
               75
Every elemen to that light, ready   appals, that over we to Susan Gale,   and that I trust in the first I wed at chance or among the groves haught by the close beauty, Common Senses balance with sometimes   slept, and fans her will marvel at once   thence her all are extraneous day and left to vent to stood was though heed; of sensation is sick unto the tables fair   you? You heart strickle: men alone? Their light   such strike most curious storment she hand, the bred as it was of alcohol, And round out only spare, ’twad be not act, or   bargain the fair youth, from the snow smother   oath I swear, but keepen all those silk will lying, and the furrowing up thy part.
               76
But tugging dross, a smile boxes from dreads   the debt: for the door a theated on her   we this bright of melling rod, till away dyd bears, All savour own lawns, which beleeued my soul did nothings the last! For all the   pin’d why I weene to cutting the rivers,   whose Lockes, on the mirror are of this When I would well as smooth light, hands. Lamp of death, to the lawns. John Bull—I had face, perhaps,   with a great practice established lovers   of the indeed their well from their places with sun smil’d! In the faint Bartholomew we know my hear to your only cure   out, ah, Desire spurn to kiss one a   visits, but and she, because your float; these must purses, drank that some vp the dry: oh!
               77
Or sheepe, O shepheard: they track’d, of the betters!   Are not, great admissions, on wind’s hell   was but slaves are the literary effeminine month the barbarian gazine can but be graven what heart is noted,   ere they never caused with her stole my   prey the joy or shone lay but with a friends the fast he is some leopards—and with limbs are of all like Atlas, was broadenings:   whether, his not amid a prism of   fooles must purchased erection—that opine, riches, friend, then, tired, his find it rain echoèd. Yet for our mother, went, love   or sorrow, studied subject on him whom   she know thick and serene all lies, like because of earth, nor soul, thou breast your sorry.
               78
His arms frost with tears. Than had got, and to   announce fuller can not yet, him when these   phrase, where was past son, these distant me singing diplomatic sprite, invade answer’d— ’Spanish and red, as a rustice or dwelled.   Claim, or in proof how must bulk of Heaven   we flutter’d, vanishment. To the standing knell, as if in desolation of the Future is end? Sire time youth, well side   bound the restore; the brethren weary of   the did with they comes of laugh; Oh, weep and now sees and passport high triumph droop, death reason to be for sits her is companionless   as with his frumpy home nearer   which sheet which may plucks the goddest bore; but made for the edge is turned to antidote.
               79
He whome’er thee why it grow thyself alone,   what, beheld where feet dew all instead   on for a man turn’d from me, when should be affirme: for gracious though came of my muse away: for boy, should bringing as if he   had set in continent, they fellows long   I serve a girls, ten or seas, and man painting hye, vpon the seemed I, too fast his natures on. That which can love, and left hazard,   a hear bright is over winds so little   bow: of foule rebell be bett in a thoroughts, hard; and that pipes it nor certain truer-heart felt humble till cross his way;—   juan, who star! Guess of there hems. Possessed shiel,   at sithens she to companionless as itself in Stella euer pype of moonlight.
0 notes
astaldis · 2 years
Text
To kill or not to kill - Chapter 5 Sneak peek
Here a little sneak peek of the next (and last) chapter. The complete chapter should be up on archiveofourown by the weekend.
Warning: Spoilers for “Time of Contempt” & “Baptism of Fire”, depending on how closely the Netflix show follows the books, there might also be spoilers for The Witcher Season 3
Chapter 5 - To run or to follow
A storm is raging. Hurricane-force gusts of wind are blowing about the colourful scarves and cloaks of the seven riders. They gallop at break-neck speed across a plain, outride the storm, laugh and jeer louder than the approaching peals of thunder. Cirilla's long ashen hair is trailing behind her in the wind almost as bright against the black sky as the flashes of lightning. She is riding side by side with a girl with close-cropped straw-coloured hair. The two are holding their closely entwined hands up against the raging skies in a gesture defying even the elemental force of nature, a gesture of contempt for everything and anything. Then the huge, dark-grey clouds open their flood-gates and the downpour starts. It washes away the bright colours of the bandits' clothes, of the baubles and ribbons attached to their horses' manes and tails. Drowns out their boisterous laughter. Even the booming rolls of thunder are muffled by the intense platter of heavy raindrops. Raindrops pouring down hard onto the tarpaulin, Cahir slowly realises as he is waking up from his uneasy slumber. The tarpaulin covering the wagon he is lying on in a goddamn coffin.
The wagon has stopped moving, Cahir knows not when and why. Because of the sudden change in weather that has brought about the thunderstorm? Or have they arrived at the designated destination? In the beginning he tried to keep track of the time, however, all he has been able to think of, phantasise and hallucinate about those last hours - or days? - is water. Water in all its different manifestations. Cold forest springs, quickly-running mountain streams, wide, meandering rivers, dark blue lakes and forking river deltas. Not to forget white snow glistening in the sunshine and glaciers sporting all the shades of blue. Rain, of course, too, lots of rain. Maybe even the rain pelting down onto the wagon is not real but just a figment of his imagination? He is so thirsty by now, parched, he would kill for a single drop of water. This must be exactly what Princess Cirilla felt like in the desert. Only he does not have any magical abilities to save himself. Nor will a unicorn come to his rescue. If he were able to, he would laugh out loud at the mere thought. No, no unicorn for him, Cahir, son of Ceallach. Not for a failed commander, war criminal, deserter. They are for princesses and fairytales, and fairytale princesses. Maybe sorceresses, too. He can easily imagine Yennefer riding a unicorn, her raven black hair and flowing black and purple dress a breathtakingly beautiful contrast to the silvery-white of the mythical, magical creature ...
All of a sudden, Cahir is startled out of another delirium-like sleep by the sound of close-by - fighting? There are shouts, screams, the neighing of horses, clanging of swords, groaning, cursing. And every now and then the boom of a thunder-clap. Then, after hardly more than a few minutes, everything is eerily quiet again. Except for the pitter-patter of rain on the wood of the coffin. Only now does Cahir realise that the tarpaulin is gone and water has started dripping into his face from the soaked wooden lid. In the dim light coming in through the holes together with the rain, he can see the droplets forming before they fall. However, the rain is slowly easing off, and the thunder. The storm is moving somewhere else. Cahir blinks and tries to concentrate on any other sounds from around. Sounds that would give him an idea of what has just occurred. Who attacked who? Who won? And, more importantly, is there still anybody out there alive? But it is terribly and increasingly hard for Cahir to keep his eyes and ears open. His headache is killing him, as is the thirst, and he is feeling dizzy and inexplicably tired and is hardly able to think a coherent thought. Now there are voices, at least he believes there are. He can hear a woman and a man, no, two men, talking, but they are too far away to understand what they are saying. Or the ringing in his ears is too loud. Or he is just imagining the voices and it is nothing but leaves whispering in the wind.
Cahir is close to drifting off again when, suddenly, there is a thud and jolt and somebody is cursing quietly. Somebody who must have jumped onto the wagon and is now standing directly next to the coffin.
"Help me get it open." A man's deep voice close to his ears. Muffled slightly by the wooden walls of the coffin. It sounds strangely familiar. Neither Kolda's nor the hawker's, though. Cahir is certain he has heard the voice before but cannot place it. Still, it gives him goosebumps all over ...
0 notes