#couldn’t find good photos of his balloons otherwise I would have added them

[sun-e-chips]

In hindsight maybe you shouldn’t have separated from your friends during your birthday party

#maybe your new friend will help #wanted to try my hand at the back rooms #the backrooms #sb daycare attendant #sb moondrop #sb moon #couldn’t find good photos of his balloons otherwise I would have added them #moondrop #security breach meme #security breach #ball pit

[raindancer2004]

Blended Family

Word Count: 3,541 Demetri x OC - Part Seven Warnings: Fluff

Demetri has a day off and decides to spend the day with Ellie “Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know that I’m having a Daddy and Ellie day today” Nico nods “Like how Mummy and I have days where it’s just us?” “Exactly buddy. My next day off will be a Daddy and Nico day ok?” Demetri replies “Ok Daddy. Have fun” Nico replies with a smile “Be good for Daddy Ellie” Nico says softly as he kisses her cheek and she smiles back and babbles at him.

Demetri wraps Ellie up warm and takes her to the park, sitting on a swing with her on his lap, swinging back and forth gently, eliciting little giggles from her “Having fun princess?” He asks low in her ear, she turns to look at him and babbles at him smiling “Good, so I am” He replies smiling back at her, kissing her cheek. After an hour or so they return to the castle and make their way to his and Sophie’s room, grabbing a book from the bookcase he sits on the bed with Ellie on his lap and reads to her until she falls asleep in his arms “I love you Ellie” He says softly and places a kiss to the top her head.

A few days later Demetri spoke to Felix about his relationship with Sophie “How are things between you and Sophie now you’re engaged?” Felix asked “Things are great. I know I can’t give her the big white wedding but I can give her forever. I remember when I was human that marriage was important and it still is today and I wanted her to have rings to prove that I meant forever” Demetri replied “You old romantic you” Felix said and Demetri chuckled a little “I waited a very long time to find my mate…” “I still can’t believe you didn’t realise what she was to you when you met her on the plane” Felix interrupted him shaking his head smiling “I’m glad things happened the way they did because I have Nico and I wouldn’t be without him. In fact, I was looking forward to spending forever just he and I and then thanks to one afternoon in the park Sophie and Ellie entered my life again and everything changed and for the better. I have a beautiful family of my own to love and protect forever” He replied “I know you think of Ellie as yours and Sophie thinks of Nico as hers, but have you thought about having baby with Sophie?” Felix’s tone was a bit more serious now “I have thought about having a baby with Sophie and would love a third child but the time isn’t right to have that conversation with Sophie and Ellie is still so young and Nico is growing so fast I just want to enjoy them growing up for now…but never say never” He answered honestly “Who knew you’d make such a good dad?” Felix said smiling “Thanks…I think” Demetri replied.

Nico had overheard the conversation between his dad and Felix and got upset and ran to find his mum. He found her in the library curled up on the sofa reading, Jane having borrowed Ellie for the afternoon. Nico climbed onto the sofa beside Sophie and snuggled into her and she could tell something was wrong “Sweetie are you ok?” Nico shook his head “I don’t want to lose you mummy” He started crying and Sophie dropped the book and wrapped her arms around him “You aren’t going to lose to me, I promise. It was just a bad dream” She replied “It wasn’t a bad dream. I-I heard daddy talking to Uncle Felix…” “Ok…what did you overhear sweetie?” Concern clear in her voice “Felix asked daddy if he wanted to have a baby with you and daddy said that he would love to have a baby with you” Sophie then realised why Nico was so upset “I don’t want to lose you mummy, Ellie doesn’t want to lose you either. We love you so much” He added “Oh sweetie, I love you and Ellie very much and I’m not going anywhere. You and Ellie are still so young and I’m not ready to have another baby so I will talk to daddy and everything will be ok” Sophie placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed his forehead, wiping his tears away with her thumbs “Ok mummy” Sophie pulled him onto her lap and held him in her arms. She needed to talk to Demetri and they needed reassure Nico together that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Sophie spent the remainder of the afternoon with Nico in his and Ellie’s room, they coloured in some pictures in his new colouring-in books, Sophie noticed that Nico sat as close to her as possible “Having fun sweetie?” “I am mummy, are you?” Nico looked up at her smiling “I am” She leant over and kissed his head. Demetri entered the room holding Ellie “How are you two doing?” Demetri asked as he took a seat on Nico’s bed “We’re having mummy and Nico time” Nico replied before Sophie could answer, not looking up from his colouring book “Oh ok. I didn’t realise buddy. I will take Ellie across the hall into mine and mummy’s room. We’ll see you in a bit” Demetri replied looking at Sophie, an eyebrow raised “I’ll explain later” Sophie mouthed to Demetri, who nodded. “You still upset with daddy?” She asked him quietly “Maybe” Nico replied low “Ok. Remember what I said I’m not going anywhere. You are stuck with me forever” She said as she started to tickle him, Nico’s laughter filling the room “Y-you pr-promise?” He got out between giggles “I promise” She lifted him onto her lap and hugged him tight “I love you” “I love you too mummy.”

Later that night once Nico and Ellie were in bed Sophie had a talk with Demetri “We need to talk Dem” She said as she sat on the sofa “That doesn’t sound good” “It isn’t, I’m not going to lie” She replied and watched how his face suddenly showed a sad expression, his eyes showing that he was nervous about this conversation “What do you want to talk about? Have I done something wrong?” He asked unsure if he wanted to hear the answer ‘has she changed her mind about us, about being with me? What about Nico and Ellie?’ multiple questions running through his head “Yes, you have, although I know you didn’t mean to but…” “But what? What did I do?” He cut her off and reached out to hold her hands “Tell me…please” “Nico overheard your conversation with Felix this afternoon...” She paused to see if he could work out where the conversation was going, only he didn’t answer “The one you had about you and I having a baby together���” She continued, trailing off as she saw realisation wash over his face followed by shock “Santa Cazzo. Sophie, I-I didn’t…I didn’t mean now. I was thinking in the future, maybe…that is, if you want to have a baby with me” He replied “Nico doesn’t know that. He heard you say you wanted to have a baby with me and the first thing he thought of was that he was going to lose me, that Ellie was going to lose me” Demetri looked down at his and Sophie’s joined hands and felt his heart break for his son “He’s upset with you Dem, I mean he knows the woman who gave birth to him died after he was born.” “I’d never let anything happen to you mi amore. If you and I had a baby together in the future I would do whatever it took to ensure you survived” He pulled her onto his lap “I know you would, but if I’m honest I’m not ready to have another baby. We have two as it is and do you really think it’s fair to Ellie to have another sibling grow up faster than her?” She answered honestly “I’m not ready for another child yet either and all I said was that I’d love to have a baby with you but we need to talk about it” He replied “Dem, I love you so much and this is nothing against you but I’m happy with the two we have. I’m Nico’s mum as you are Ellie’s dad. Could you be happy with us not having another baby?” She asked looking into his eyes “Yes. We have two beautiful children and I love the little family we have created” He replied before kissing her “I love you Sophie” “I love you too Dem.” 

The following morning Demetri sits Nico down and explains to him that he would never do anything to harm Sophie as he loves her too much to risk losing her. Nico questions this by reminding him what he told Uncle Felix “You said you wanted to have a baby with mummy, but you know what happened last time.” Nico’s voice dropped, Demetri took Nico into his arms, holding him tight “Mummy and I spoke last night and we are happy that we have you and Ellie and have agreed that we are not going to have another baby. We are not going to lose mummy; I promise you that. I promised you that I would love and protect the three of you forever and I meant it” He kissed Nico’s head and held him close “I love you buddy” “I love you too Daddy.”

Sophie spoke to Demetri about celebrating Nico and Ellie’s first birthdays as it is a milestone for them both and it’s something humans do. “Are we celebrating Ellie’s birthday first then Nico’s as they are born ten weeks apart?” Demetri asked “I think we should do a little something for them both on their birthdays, especially since Nico looks older than Ellie” Sophie replied and he nodded.

Sophie organised a little get together for Ellie’s first birthday, Demetri inviting Felix, the twins, the Kings, their wives and a few the guards he and Sophie got along with. Nico watched his parents planning the party and was excited as he got to attend a birthday party for the first time “I love that you and mummy are human” He told Ellie with a smile “I get to do lots of human things that I would have missed out on otherwise” Ellie smiled and babbled at him. Demetri heard Nico and couldn’t help smiling, for he too was happy his mate and daughter were human.

Ellie’s first birthday arrived and Demetri had spent the night before decorating the family room with a selection of pink Birthday Banners; ‘1st Birthday’, ‘Birthday Girl.’ He collected the ‘Happy 1st Birthday’ helium balloons from one the guest rooms and placed them throughout the family room. He also placed some photos of Ellie throughout her first year around the room too, including some family photos.

Once the family room was decorated, Demetri made his way back to his room and set up the castle doll house he and Sophie got Ellie for her birthday, carefully placing a large sheet of wrapping paper over it. He then placed the stack of neatly wrapped presents around the castle. He knew Sophie would tell him he went overboard; but he didn’t care this was Ellie’s first birthday and he wanted to ensure she enjoyed her ‘special day.’ He planned to spoil Nico on his first birthday too. Finally, Demetri stuck a ‘Birthday Princess’ banner diagonally across the children’s bedroom door, then took a seat on the sofa in his room and waited for his family to wake.

Once they were awake Demetri, Sophie sat on the floor near the present pile, Nico sitting beside Demetri and Ellie on Sophie’s lap. Ellie loved the castle doll house, complete with little dolls “It’s just like our castle” Nico pointed out, Demetri smiled and nodded. Nico gave Ellie a ‘my first doll’ which had a hard head and hands but the rest of the doll was soft.

Later that afternoon everyone who was invited gathered in the family room for Ellie’s birthday party and handed her their gifts. The gifts included books, toys and clothes. Demetri and Sophie got her a small pink birthday cake with a princess bear on top and everyone sang to her. Ellie spent the afternoon smiling and babbling away, enjoying the attention and cuddles she was receiving. “You’re quite the proud papa” Felix said with a smile and placing a hand on his shoulder “How could I not be Fe, I have a beautiful family” Demetri replied with a smile of his own as his eyes locked on Sophie, Nico and Ellie enjoying themselves.

Unknown to Sophie both Demetri and Nico were trying to teach Ellie to talk, although not together. Demetri had read the parenting book that it’s good to encourage your baby to talk, so that is what he did, anytime he was alone with Ellie he would teach her to talk “Hey Princess, want to cuddle with Daddy?” She smiled up at him as he lifted her up into his arms and took a seat on Nico’s bed “You know who I am?” He asks her softly and she nods “Who am I?” Ellie just babbles back at him causing him to laugh “Not quite Princess. I’m daddy. Can you say daddy?” She thinks for a moment, Demetri watching her with curiosity “D-D” The only response he gets before she babbles back at him “I think we need more practice" He says smiling at her lovingly and she snuggles into him “D-D.”

Nico heard Demetri trying to teach Ellie to talk and decided he wanted Ellie to say his name instead of daddy first. “Come on Ellie, say Nico…Ni-co” He encourages her gently but gets no response “Ni-co” She thought for a moment “D-D” Nico shook his head “Try again for me Ellie. Ni-co” “N-N...D-D” Ellie replied smiling and he chuckled “Practice makes perfect Ellie.”

Felix and Alec overheard Nico and Demetri trying to teach Ellie to talk and decided to make a bet on what her first word be “I bet you €15 that Ellie says Nico first” Alec says to Felix “I bet you €15 she says Daddy first, or some variation of the word” Felix replies “Deal” Alec says and holds his hand to Felix. “You’ll both be losers if she says Mummy first” Jane laughed at them “Want in on the bet sister?” “Why not, I think she’ll say Mummy first” Jane replies. They didn’t have wait to long to find out who won the bet as Ellie spoke her first word a few days later.

Ellie woke up from a nap, sitting up in her crib and looking around the room and couldn’t see anyone, deciding she wanted some attention “Dad-dad-dad” She said over and over a few times. Demetri was sitting his room across the hall and thought he heard a soft voice calling out and got up to see to Ellie. As he entered the room, he saw her little face light up “Daddy” She called out and he froze by the door looking confused, she continued to call out to him “Daddy. Daddy” She started to get a little impatient and tried again “Daddy” He shook his head and smiled at her “That’s right my clever little girl” He quickly picked her up and held her against his chest “Daddy” She said as she snuggled into him, holding onto his jumper. Demetri felt his heart swell at hearing her call him daddy, it definitely made his list of top ten moments; all of them involved Sophie, Nico and Ellie “I love you so much Ellie” He placed a kiss to the top of her head and set off to the kitchen to see Sophie and Nico, feeling a little sorry for Sophie that she missed Ellie’s first word.

“Hey mi amore. This clever little girl just said her first word” He said beaming with pride “Well done sweetie” Sophie smiled at Ellie and kissed her temple “What did she say daddy?” Nico asked “Dad followed by daddy” Demetri replied “Ellie. I thought we had a deal. You were supposed to say Nico first” He feigned a hurt look, Ellie smiled at him whilst Demetri and Sophie chuckled “Most babies say daddy first” Sophie told them “Really mummy?” “Yes, some say mummy first but ‘dad.’ ‘dadda,’ or ‘daddy’ is easier for them to say” She replied “Sorry Sophie” Demetri said wrapping an arm around her “Don’t be. It’s a baby thing” She replied “I’m glad her first word was daddy. I know you are too” She added, leaning up to kiss his lips.  

“Pay up twinnies” Felix says holding out his hands, after Demetri tells them what Ellie’s first was “You three bet on my daughter’s first word?” Sophie asked them “Of course, especially after hearing those to encouraging her to talk” Alec replied, Demetri and Nico gave Sophie an innocent look “Like two peas in a guilty pod” She replied smiling.

Sophie organised a little get together for Nico’s first birthday as she did for Ellie, Demetri inviting Felix, the twins, the Kings, their wives and a few the guards he and Sophie got along with. Nico was excited for his own birthday party.

Nico’s first birthday arrived and Demetri had spent the night before decorating the family room with a selection of blue Birthday Banners; ‘1st Birthday’, ‘Birthday Boy.’ He collected the ‘Happy 1st Birthday’ helium balloons from one the guest rooms and placed them throughout the family room. Just as he did for Ellie, he also placed some photos of Nico throughout his first year around the room too, including some family photos. “You’re becoming quite the party planner / decorator D” Felix said as he entered the family room “Only the best for my children” He replied proudly.

Once the family room was decorated, Demetri made his way back to his room, collecting the blue and silver bike he and Sophie got Nico for his birthday from one the guest rooms. He carefully placed large sheets of wrapping paper over it. He then placed the stack of neatly wrapped presents around the bike. Despite Sophie telling him that he went a little overboard with presents for Ellie’s birthday, he did the same for Nico wanting to ensure he enjoyed his ‘special day.’ Finally, Demetri stuck a ‘Birthday Boy’ banner diagonally across the children’s bedroom door, then climbed into bed beside Sophie and waited for his family to wake.

Once they were awake Demetri, Sophie sat on the floor near the present pile, Nico sitting beside Demetri and Ellie on Sophie’s lap. Nico loved the bike, complete with stabilisers “Can you teach me how to ride it please?” Nico asked Demetri smiled “Of course, buddy. Mummy and I will teach you, but outside in the garden” Ellie gave Nico some dinosaur puzzles.

Later that afternoon everyone who was invited gathered in the family room for Nico’s birthday party and handed him their gifts. The gifts included books, games and clothes. Demetri and Sophie got him a small birthday cake with a dinosaur on top and everyone sang to him. Nico spent the afternoon smiling and playing some games with the Kings and their wives. “Proud papa does it again” Felix said with a smile as he watches Demetri, Sophie, Nico and Ellie enjoying themselves.

Ellie starts pulling herself up to stand next to the coffee table and shuffle walks around it, her little hands on the top supporting her. Nico watches her with fascination ‘clever little human’ he thought to himself, then an idea comes to mind. He climbs off the sofa and walks over to Ellie coming to stand behind her “Here, let me help you” He gently lifts her hands off the coffee table and holding on to them gently, her arms raised up a little, he walks behind her as she takes one step after another. They slowly make their way out into the corridor when Ellie sees Demetri and Sophie walking towards them “Daddy” She calls out with a smile and he looks away from Sophie to see Ellie walking with the help of Nico. He walks a little closer, coming to a stop and kneeling down with his arms held out to her “Walk to daddy” He encourages and when she is a few steps away Nico carefully lets go of her hands but stays behind her ready to catch her should she fall over. She wobbles for a moment before taking an unsteady step forward, then another and another before Demetri gently scoops her into his arms “My clever little girl” He peppers her little face with kisses and she giggles “D-Daddy” “She’s growing up so fast” Sophie says low and Nico laughs “Really mummy? I could walk and talk within a month” “Yes, but you’re a hybrid sweetie, it’s different for Ellie” She replies “Ok, so she’s growing up fast for a human?” “Yes buddy” Demetri replies smiling “I still think she’s small and pretty” Nico said looking at Ellie adoringly.

#demetri volturi #felix volturi #alec volturi #jane volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #heidi volturi #volturi #twilight

[shireness-says]

The Song Remains the Same

Summary: The more things change, the more they stay the same - including Emma’s teenage crush on Killian Jones. Will she finally work up the nerve to act on it at their ten year high school reunion? ~5.6K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

~~~~~

A/N: Here it is: my contribution to @csseptembersunshine! It’s been a lot of fun to write. Funny story: the inspiration for this comes from me watching the music episode of CNN’s 2000s documentary, and getting really annoyed that they didn’t touch on that pop-punk phase we all went through around 2008. Somehow it turned into this. I don’t know. The song title is actually taken from a Led Zeppelin song, though I didn’t know that when I originally chose it. Still trying to figure out where else I’ve heard that phrase.

Super thanks to @snidgetsafan for her last minute beta-ing, and to @awkwardnessandbaseball for her encouragement as I slogged through it.

Tagging the usual suspects and a few extras: @snowbellewells, @kmomof4, @teamhook, @profdanglaisstuff, @thisonesatellite, @captainsjedi, @let-it-raines, @optomisticgirl, @welllpthisishappening, @scientificapricot, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

Gymnasium 2 of Storybrooke High - the larger of their sports facilities, as any alumnus knows - hasn’t changed a bit in ten years.

Emma remembers the way it looked at the one homecoming dance she’d attended - blue and gold streamers everywhere, with a balloon arch behind the DJ and another against a sloppily-curtained wall for formal photos. The gym today is much the same - all that’s been added are the buffet and a collection of tables where people can eat. The same people who couldn’t be trusted with food in the gym ten years ago maybe shouldn’t be trusted to have gained that maturity now, but Emma’s not one to argue against hors d'oeuvres. It’s odd, in a way, that she’d expect it to change. This is Storybrooke, after all; they thrive on that vague air of nostalgia, and most of the town hasn’t been updated since the 80s. Hell, the local diner will abandon their 50s soda shoppe aesthetic when hell itself freezes over, and maybe not even then. But in the ten years since Emma’s left town, she’s changed in such foundational ways that it’s jarring to discover that it’s not the case everywhere.

There can be a comfort to the sameness, too. Emma has a kid, now, and there’s an appeal to raising him in a place where the whole town is your neighbor and neighbors look out for each other. Plus, the closest thing she has to family lives here. As much as Emma had wanted to get out and see the world when she was 18, there’s a point where you just want to come home. Home for Emma has been Ruth and David and Mary Margaret, and home for them has been Storybrooke. Maybe it’s about time Emma makes it her home too - if not for her own sake, then for Henry’s.

The nostalgia oozing from every inch of the gymnasium isn’t the reassuring kind of sameness, unfortunately, probably because Emma never felt comfortable here in the first place. Years in the system left Emma struggling to fit in and really find her place at school, emotionally and socially, even after the Nolans had taken her in for good. It had been hard enough to open herself up to Ruby and Mary Margaret and her adoptive family; anything more than that was a stretch too far, and Emma never really bonded with her classmates. All those streamer-festooned walls don’t hold any sentimental value for her, even if this was the school she graduated from. All things considered, it seems pretty stupid to be showing up to this ten-year reunion at all.

Mary Margaret had decorated the walls, though, had sent out invitations and implored Emma to attend. Mary Margaret, who had been Emma’s first real friend, and is still her best friend in the world. And even after all these years - especially after all these years - Emma can’t say no to that earnest pleading. 

So she’d left her three year old with Ruth for the night, wiggled into one of the more tasteful of her honeytrap dresses, and set out to her ten-year high school reunion. The last place she wants to be.

There’s already a good crowd here, mingling around as Lady Gaga blares in the background like no time has passed at all - which doesn’t help Emma’s nerves in the least. The people, not the music. The faces are still recognizable, even if ten years have passed and left their mark. Ashley and Sean are over by the buffet, apparently still together; if Emma remembers what she’s heard from Mary Margaret, they’ve got a couple of kids now. Kris and his wife are over talking to Victor, who hopefully hasn’t just come from the hospital. Aurora’s still got that unpleasant look on her face, though her boyfriend or husband or whatever else seems friendly enough. Hell, even Will Scarlet has somehow managed to clean up well in a dress shirt and tie, holding hands with a beautiful brunette with a ring as he points out something on the photo slideshow. Who’d have thought their resident troublemaker capable of such a domestic display. 

With the exception of Ruby, who Emma knows will be running late out of long-ingrained habit, it seems like the gang’s all here. As Emma scans the room, there’s only one obvious character missing from the bunch; somewhere around here should be blue eyes and dark hair and a smile that —

“Fancy meeting you here, Swan.”

— looks exactly as she remembers. It starts out as a smirk when Emma first whips around to face the man who’d whispered in her ear, but it softens into something more genuine as she laughs - almost like that’s the exact sound he’d been waiting for. Just like always.

As it turns out, that’s another thing that hasn’t changed in ten years: her hopeless crush on Killian Jones.

He’d been handsome, even in high school, with all that dark hair and his confident swagger. He’d earned that confidence too, as captain of the speech team and a champion swimmer. Somehow, even if it had made him cocky, he had still been kind, and it was that kindness that had attracted Emma in the first place - the way he’d always been happy to smile and help her in math class, even though he didn’t have to. Emma wasn’t used to that; it was its own kind of intoxicating.

He’s just as handsome now, and if that smile she’s so loved is any indication, just as kind. He’d joined the Navy after graduation, Emma knows, and it had obviously done him good, filling him out in all the right ways. The trim fitted suit is new too; probably a good thing too, as the cut of those pants would have driven Emma to distraction back in high school. Otherwise, he’s almost just the same as always; if it wasn’t for the prosthetic peeking out of his sleeve where a left hand should be, the Killian in front of her now could be mistaken for a blast from the past. 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Emma grins back at him. 

“I might say the same thing,” he quips. “After all, I live here now. You’re the one who had to drive in.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I absolutely am not,” Killian confirms with a laugh. “Just finished up my first year of teaching at good old Storybrooke High. American History. Go Knights.”

“Damn. Well, congrats, I bet you’re great.” Weirdly enough, Emma really can picture him as a history teacher. It was always his best subject, and she’d be willing to bet he’s one of the cool teachers all the kids love.

“I do my best,” he shrugs modestly. It’s a new look on the cocky, smooth-talking Killian Jones she used to know, and not a bad one. It makes him seem… adult. Like he’s got his ducks in a row now in a way neither of them were capable of when they were young. She almost misses his next question considering it. “I seem to remember David mentioning that you live in Boston these days?”

That snaps her back. “Yeah, Boston. I work in bail bonds there. Though lately…”

“You’re thinking about moving back?” he finishes. At Emma’s puzzled look, he continues. “Like I said, your brother mentioned it. He’s a bit of a gossip, I’ve rediscovered.”

Ah, of course. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

“Well, if you end up deciding to come home… let me know. I’d be happy to see your face around these streets again.” He even smiles like he means it. It’s a nice surprise again; Killian Jones is just full of those today. She’d thought that there would only be a handful of people who’d be happy to see her - David and Ruth, Mary Margaret, Ruby and Granny - but maybe there’s some others, too. For whatever reason, Killian seems to be counting himself among them.

“Thanks,” she finally replies, somewhat awkwardly. What are you supposed to say to such an unexpected, purely kind thing, after all?  It’s just the kind of thing the boy she remembered would have said - though she has to wonder if that’s a true memory, or something she inflated from her own childish crush and even more childish tendency to latch onto even the smallest kindness in the way only those starved for affection do. “I’ll make sure to do that. I’ll let you go mingle or whatever, but I’ll, uh… I’ll see you around?”

“Absolutely, Swan,” he winks. Or tries to, in the same way he’s apparently never learned how. “Save a dance for me?”

Dancing has never been her strong suit, but weirdly enough - or perhaps, not weirdly at all, considering who made the offer - Emma finds herself wanting that too, finds herself agreeing. “Sure,” she shrugs, making her best display of nonchalance even if her pulse has picked up at the very prospect. “I’ll catch you later.”

What harm could it do? After all, it’s just one dance.

———

It’s weird how time can change people, or at least change her perceptions of them, Emma notes. With some notable exceptions - Aurora Stephenson, now… whatever the hell her last name is, who will probably never grow out of her tendency to look down her nose at everyone and everything - most of the people she graduated with have turned into more adult versions of themselves, whether that means happier or more responsible or just more tired. It’s refreshing to see in a room otherwise so mired in the past, from the decor to the never-ending 2010-era playlist constantly piped overhead. Emma’s a little worried she’ll hear Fall Out Boy’s entire discography before the night is over - weird, considering she’d never have pegged Mary Margaret for a fan. 

But Scarlet turns out to be funny now that he’s dropped the class clown screwup act, and Ashley is actually sweet now that she’s allowed to be more than just a mouse under her stepmother’s thumb. Her older child is about Henry’s age, a little girl named Alexandra, and it’s a comfort that Emma never knew she was denying herself just to have someone else to talk to about all the trials and tribulations of toddlerhood with. She’s never been one of those mothers, but she’s never had anyone she could be one with, either. Mary Margaret and David have only recently announced that they’re expecting a baby, and Emma’s been somewhat isolated in Boston for a long time. But if she ends up returning to Storybrooke… it’d be nice, already knowing Henry has a playmate. Maybe they can set something up for before they return to Boston.

Still, as much as Emma’s enjoying herself - against her will, really - there reaches a point where she needs to get away from it all. By some miracle she’s never sure she’ll deserve, Henry calls to say goodnight just when she’s becoming too overwhelmed. There’s been a pair of picnic tables just outside of the gym for as long as Emma’s been here to see them - much longer, she’d bet, if she knows anything about Storybrooke - and it’s another thing that hasn’t changed in all this time, the tables appearing to have been replaced sometime in the past decade and then positioned in the exact same place as before. It’s the perfect place to take the call and collect her thoughts again - close enough to still hear the music faintly (Panic! at the Disco now, because none of them have actually grown out of their teenage taste in music apparently) without it overwhelming her senses.

Nothing’s the matter, of course - just some three year old affection. It doesn’t stop Emma from seizing the opportunity to take a moment for herself. It’s been a long time since she’s spent this much time with this many adults in a situation where she’s expected to actually interact; after almost four years of cartoons and make-believe and bedtime stories, it’s a little taxing. In a good way, she thinks, or at least not a bad one.

“Ah, there you are,” a familiar voice calls. Killian again. He’s everywhere tonight - the man himself before her eyes as he settles onto the bench beside her, back braced against the wooden tabletop, and memories of their time in school embedded in every wall.

“Did Mary Margaret send you?” Emma asks. It would be perfectly in character - Emma’s sister-in-law trying to make sure that she’s socializing properly.

Killian shakes his head though. “No, I just needed a bit of air. Victor’s trying to break out some of his old dance moves, which is just as scarring as ever, so I figured that was my cue to step out for a moment. Noticed you were missing too, figured that maybe you had the same idea.”

“Not exactly,” Emma laughs. “I mean, I can’t blame you for avoiding that nightmare. But no, I, uh… I had to take a call.” 

“Ah. Yeah, no, you definitely couldn’t manage that inside.”

Oddly enough, Emma feels the urge to open up to Killian, to tell him about Henry. It’s not something she does, typically; after so long searching for a family of her own, she still finds it hard sometimes to share Henry with others, even if it’s just bragging. She’d never keep him from making friends, of course - she’s not that kind of overprotective mother, and besides, his time at daycare has shown that the kid is unstoppably friendly - but in her own life, she keeps him to herself. Minimal talk with her coworkers. No mention at all to strangers, not even the vaguest reference.

But then again, Killian isn’t really a stranger, is he? Even after all this time, Emma’s instincts still say she can trust him. He’s never been anything but kind and generous. 

“I’ve, uh… I ‘ve got a son,” she offers, with a weak smile. “Henry. He’ll be four in August. Pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me, you know? He’s just… the best. So, yeah, I came out here because he called to say goodnight.”

“He seems like a lovely boy,” Killian replies, something fond tinging his tone. The familiarity of it alarms Emma, and makes her eyes widen. To his credit, Killian seems to notice it right away, his brows furrowing into a frown. “Oh, now that sounded a bit creepy, didn’t it?” he asks. “It’s much less concerning than anything you’re thinking, Swan, I promise. Mrs. Nolan has an endearing habit of showing off any and all new photos of the lad she gets her hands on when she comes into Granny’s in the morning. A proud grandmother, that one, not that I can blame her if your boy is even half as bright and curious and sweet as she claims.”

That… makes sense.  Even if it means Emma maybe needs to invest in muzzles for her entire family at the rate they’re blabbing her business around town. “Sorry if I looked like I was about to clock you,” she admits sheepishly. “It’s just… he’s everything. I worry.”

“I think that’s your prerogative as his mother,” Killian laughs good-naturedly. At least he’s not holding that little freak out against her.

Things fall into silence. Somehow, the quiet is more intimate than any conversation, almost cloyingly so. It keeps both of them from looking at each other, both turning towards the stars instead as P!nk blares distantly in the background. God, the last time Emma actually took a moment to look at the stars was probably in high school.

Killian, of course, is the one to break the quiet. He always was bolder than her. “Is the little lad with his father tonight, then?” He asks, almost too casually. Like he might care more about the answer than he wants to admit. Emma can’t imagine why.

“No,” she replies on a snort. “He wasn’t exactly interested in sticking around, for better or worse.”

“I’m sorry, love,” Killian murmurs. “It’s his loss.”

“It really is. Henry’s a great kid. It was hard at the time, though. I felt like I had found someone who really loved me and wanted me, but that obviously wasn’t the case. Should have known it was too good to be true.”

“You can’t possibly think this is your fault,” Killian prods, concern cooling his voice. 

Emma shrugs. “I mean, I know that it was up to him. I didn’t force him out the door or anything. But at the same time… I know I’m difficult to love.” She tries to keep her voice nonchalant, but isn’t entirely convinced that it worked. That’s the problem with admitting one of your deepest fears.

“That’s not true,” Killian chides back gently

“Yeah, well, it sure seems like it a lot of the time. I don’t have much evidence to the contrary.”

The silence this time is almost anticipatory, somehow. Emma finds herself practically holding her breath as she waits for what’s next.

“You know, I had the biggest crush on you back in school,” Killian finally says, almost absentmindedly, still gazing up at the sky instead of at Emma.

“You did not.” It’s not one of her better responses, but it’s her gut response all the same. There’s no way - absolutely no way that Killian Jones, the Killian Jones of Storybrooke High, had a thing for her back when they were both still teenagers. 

“Aye, I did,” he chuckles. She’d almost call it fond, if she didn’t know better. Fond is too big a stretch for someone you haven’t seen in ten years.

“I can’t imagine why.”

Killian stares at her blankly for a moment, like the words don’t process. “Oh, don’t say that.”

“Look, I was a mess in high school —”

“You were lovely, even then,” he interrupts. “Maybe that sounds a little cliche, but you were. To me, if no one else. There was so much drama and bullshit going on in high school, but somehow, in the middle of all that, you seemed like you couldn’t give less of a fuck about the whole thing. You were strong, and fierce, and… I guess I had a thing for that kind of attitude back then. Still do, really.”

Honestly, Emma doesn’t even know how to take that - any of that. Especially not that last bit. She’s just not equipped to process it. But at the same time… she owes it to herself to try. Both of them, really, and her past self to boot. He wasn’t the only one with a crush, after all. As much as it terrifies Emma to think that just maybe, after all this time, he might still think she’s lovely and fierce, it’s exhilarating at the same time. With that in mind, Emma takes a deep breath and forces herself to respond.

“Maybe you should have done something about that,” she replies with butterflies swarming in her stomach like she’s still a nervous high schooler. 

For what it’s worth, Killian looks a little stunned. “I’m sorry?”

“I kind of had a thing for you too,” Emma confides. “You were kind of a dreamboat, you know.”

“Were?”

“Oh, don’t get cocky on me,” she laughs. “But yeah. If you had asked… I probably would have said yes. Almost definitely, actually.” It’s hard to say that she’d change things, if given the chance; after all, the path that took her here gave her Henry. But she still can’t help but wonder what might have been. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t, then.” His voice is almost wistful, longing for something he’ll never grasp. “Out of curiosity, why didn’t you?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Not brave enough.” Emma waves a hand casually, like it wasn’t a big deal, despite remembering all the emotional turmoil of that same subject back in high school. “Plus, it seemed like you had a thing going with Tink half the time - which, trust me, I know sounds ridiculous now that she’s shown up to this with a girlfriend. Still.”

“Aye, that’d do it,” Killian laughs. “We’ve always been just close friends, though. For what it’s worth.”

“I know.”

The anticipatory silence is back, and this time, Emma knows what it’s waiting for. In any cheesy movie, this would be the moment they kissed, two former somethings reunited under the stars. She’s not ready for that, though - not with the pain of her last relationship’s abrupt dissolution still hanging over her head, just reinforcing all her concerns about abandonment. She’s already used up her bold quota for the day.

Quickly, she breezes past it to a new subject. “So what are you doing back here, anyways? I thought you were off to the Navy, gonna see the world.”

She regrets it as soon as she asks as Killian’s whole body suddenly seizes with tension. 

“I was,” he says carefully. “I did. I was going to. But for better or worse, the Navy doesn’t have much use for a man with one hand.”

“I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask, wasn’t it?”

Killian sighs. “No, it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean any harm by it, it’s still just a subject I’m a bit touchy about.”

“I’m sure,” Emma murmurs. It’s hard to toe the line between wanting to seem sympathetic and coming off as prying.

“Before you ask, it was a car accident. Not at all related to my service,” Killian explains, seemingly seeing the hesitance in her eyes. “Someone ran a red light, and that was that. So I took advantage of servicemember scholarships to go to school instead, and six years later, here I am. It’s hard to claim that it’s all worked out for the best, considering I’m missing a pretty crucial limb, but I’m happy with where I’m at.”

“I was just thinking earlier, I bet you’re a great teacher,” Emma contributes. “One of the fun ones, but who still knows what they’re talking about and holds the kids accountable.”

It turns out, Killian still scratches at his ear when he’s embarrassed, just the way he did in high school. The red flush is the same too. “I do try. And what about you? Bail bonds, you said?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not a dream job by any stretch, but they were hiring when my ex and I first moved to Boston, close enough for me to walk to work, and I’ve kind of just stayed. It’s something I’m good at, as it turns out - a little bit of research and a little undercover work and a lot of being willing to chase down people doing their best to get away from you. It’s a living. The money can be good, if sporadic,” she shrugs. “One of the biggest appeals of the deputy position here, though, besides coming home, is the steady paycheck. I don’t know. Moving is hard, but it’s very tempting.”

“Well, I’m sure you’d be a brilliant deputy,” Killian smiles. As Emma stares back, the anticipatory silence falls again, but this time, she’s almost ready for it. With a few more seconds, maybe she could make a move, and it wouldn’t truly hurt to shift an inch closer…

“Emma, there you are!” Mary Margaret’s voice calls, shattering the intimacy of the moment. “David’s about to do his speech, and you wouldn’t want to —” she cuts off abruptly when she sees Emma’s not alone. “Oh, hello, Killian! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all,” Killian smiles. Meanwhile, Emma wants to scream Yes! back at her friend. Timing has never been her strong suit. “Go ahead and get David all set up, we’ll be right behind you.”

As Mary Margaret scurries off again, Killian hoists himself to his feet before offering Emma a hand of assistance - one she’s only too happy to accept. God, his hand is just the perfect balance between soft and callused, the hands of a man who might not work with his hands (so to speak) every day, but might have a hobby where he gets to. She’ll have to ask. “Well, Swan? Shall we go see what our erstwhile class president has to say?”

“Lead on.” It’s probably best that they were interrupted, anyways. This is just one night, after all. 

———

Poor David - he’s never been much for public speaking. Emma will never understand why they needed a speech at this thing in the first place, let alone why Mary Margaret couldn’t have just made the remarks instead as the organizer of this whole thing. 

Still, somehow they make it through, even if David’s practically swimming in sweat by the time he exits the stage. That suit jacket is definitely going to need a trip to the cleaner. Emma manages to park herself close to the dessert table while the whole spectacle unfolds, sampling all the little bars and cookies and cupcakes while everyone else is distracted. She’ll have to thank David for that later.

She’s just reaching for a cookies and cream cupcake - she can’t quite remember who opened a bakery, but God bless them for it - when Killian appears by her side again.

“Might I steal you for a dance, Swan?” he asks. “I have it on good authority that they’re about to play a slow song.”

Emma laughs. “You bribed Mary Margaret, didn’t you?”

“Oh, shamelessly. So what do you say, Swan?” He offers his hand.

Maybe she should think about it more. Maybe it’s committing to something she’ll regret later. But for now, Emma takes his hand without hesitation. “Yeah. Let’s dance.”

There’s a little section of floor left open as if just for them, allowing Killian to lead her around to face him. Emma can’t help but chuckle as they come together, twining arms around necks and waists like any respectable high schooler faced with a slow song. And what a song it is: three beat time, Paramore. The soundtrack of her most fanciful imaginings way back when. Perfect.

“What are you giggling about?” he teases. If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost say there’s affection in his voice.

“Nothing. It’s kind of stupid.” Still, Killian watches until she continues, until she caves. “It’s just… I used to dream about this, you know? My own personal fantasy - and not like that, don’t even start with the eyebrows,” she warns. “But… even if I tried not to show it and even if I believed that love wasn’t in the cards for me, there was still a little bit of me that wanted. I’d imagine a moment, just like this. It’d be like a movie. We’d be dancing at prom or winter formal or something, and the whole world would melt away. I’m pretty sure I choreographed the camera movements in my head. And then, at the end… there’d be a moment. We’d kiss. And it would be my first kiss, and it’d be perfect.” Emma laughs just hearing herself. It’s almost disgustingly romantic, really. “Pretty silly, honestly.”

“I don’t know, Swan. I think it sounds nice.” He takes a moment to carefully twirl her underneath his arm, followed by a few moments of silence once they’ve floated back together again. “We still could, you know. Make that fantasy happen.”

Emma snorts a laugh, even as a huge part of her heart yearns, practically pulling towards his. “I’ve got a kid, Jones. Trust me, the first kiss boat has long since sailed.”

Killian smiles down at her with those calm, kind eyes she fell in love with a decade ago. There’s no denying that she’s still held in their thrall all these years later. “Maybe so. But we could still have our first kiss.”

The words hang in the air between them, full of hope. Still, Emma knows he won’t make a move unless she’s right there with him. “I’m not that girl anymore,” she tells him - warns him, against everything her heart is screaming. “I’ve changed a lot since high school.”

“I know.”

“And even with that… you’re sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure. We’ve both changed, but all I know is that you’ve become even more lovely and enchanting in that time, and I’d be honored to kiss you to the greatest hits of 2009 and 2010.”

“I think Mary Margaret included some stuff from before then too,” Emma replies, stalling for time.

“Ah, well, that’s almost a dealbreaker, but I suppose I’d be willing to kiss you to the greatest hits pre-2009 as well,” Killian teases. “If you want me to, that is.”

And that’s the question, isn’t it? It’s a thin, fragile line between wanting something so badly and being afraid to just reach out and take it, especially when you’re given the chance to do just that. 

“I’m afraid,” she finally admits. “I can’t tell you that I’m moving home. I don’t even know that. And what if I don’t? Is this just a fling from the old days? Some belated wish fulfillment? A one time thing?”

“I hope not,”  Killian replies calmly. “ I hope this is more than just two people giving into an old crush and never seeing each other again. I know that I wanted you then, and I wanted you for a long time after we went our separate ways, and I wanted you again when I spotted you from across the room tonight. Do I hope that you’ll decide to move back to Storybrooke? Yes. But only if it makes you happy. And if you decide that you’ll be happier in Boston, that you and your boy belong there… well, I suppose I’ll have to start looking for date night spots in the city, because I want more than just this one kiss, and I’m willing to fight for it. But that all depends on whether you want that too.” As her silence persists, Emma searching for her courage and her words, Killian’s face drops into a twist of uncertainty. It’s not a look Emma’s used to seeing on his face, and she doesn’t particularly like it. At all. “Would you like that?” he asks softly, the uncertainty even coloring his tone.

“Yes.” Emma only whispers it, but stares into his eyes intently all the while. Hopefully that can convince him of her sincerity, even if her words can’t. When she tries to speak up, it only comes out in a jumble anyways. “I… yeah. Yeah, I would.”

His answering smile seems to spread from the very center of him, blooming across his face slowly like the most delicate flower. Maybe a water lily; that seems fitting, somehow. “In that case…” His hand travels from where it had rested on her waist to cup her cheek instead. “May I?”

Emma barely takes the time to nod before she’s pressing up that last half inch in her heels to capture his lips within her own. 

The thing about imagining what a kiss might be like for so long is that you’ve run it so many times in your head at a certain point that the real thing is never going to live up to everything you imagined. What’s even better is that this kiss, this particular realization of all that longing? It doesn’t need to live up to anything, instead a perfect expression all its own. That little romantic voice still hiding deep inside Emma wants to call it a fairytale dream come true; the rest of her is more than happy to just savor the moment as it shifts from teasing, exploratory brushes of her lips against his to something deeper and more determined. Her arms wind fully around his neck and his more tightly around her waist, leaving them twined together as tongues begin to seek and probe and stroke. For a moment, it’s like they’re the only two people in the world - like some kind of teenaged dream, if she can ever be forgiven for such an awful, topical joke.

When they finally separate, it’s only by scant inches, bodies still pressed together and foreheads touching with only space left for their mouths to gasp for air.

“That was…” she starts, unsure frankly how to finish. There’s still not nearly enough oxygen reaching her brain to properly think, her body and all its functions far more interested in diving back in for more than any stupid thinking. Or talking. Or… anything, really.

Thankfully, Killian is there to pick up where her words fail. “Bloody earth-shattering.” Even if Emma can’t see his goofy grin with her eyes still closed, she can still hear it in his voice. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it definitely was.” Somewhere in the middle of their dance floor makeout, the song has changed to something more upbeat - a dance tune that Emma doesn’t recognize, but knows Mary Margaret would insist was absolutely definitely played at every school dance when they were in high school. She doesn’t really want this to end - doesn’t want it at all, in fact - but it’s probably about time they stopped standing in the middle of the floor. With great reluctance, she unwinds her arms from his neck and steps back, but makes sure to meet Killian’s gaze with a smirk. “So. You mentioned a date? Where are you taking me?”

Killian laughs before moving to dig in an inner jacket pocket, ultimately producing a flask. “Well, for the moment, what do you say to a drink? I think I see some glasses of punch over there just waiting to be spiked.”

“It’s a date.”

And if she has anything to say about it, the first of many.

#cs ff #captain swan #csseptembersunshine #my writing #The Song Remains the Same #high school reunions #mutual pining #and a blatant excuse for slow dancing to paramore

[falseroar]

Anniversaries Part 4: A Different Kind of Birthday

((Before we start, here’s a link to Part 3: “Just Like My Japanese Animes!” Did you know that while Can You Wake Up? may have started a year ago yesterday, parts 1-4 take place over so many hours, while parts 5-10 all take place in story on the next day? Which technically means it all happened on the 8th? Did I use that to fudge the anniversaries mentioned here a little?

Yes, I did.))

You woke up slowly the next morning, staring at the wall on the far side of the room for a full minute before you made sense of the unfamiliar bed, the sheets that you didn’t recognize, the decorations that were not your own.

Right, the beach house.

The blanket thrown over you sometime in the night slid off to the floor when you finally made the effort to sit up and yawn, catching as you did so an unfamiliar smell, even for this other house. It took a moment to track it to the clear vase sitting on the nightstand near your bed, and to the single rose it held.

At first glance, it appeared to be almost black, but the bright sunlight streaming in through the window caught the flower’s petals and revealed them to be a dark blue in the center before merging into a deep crimson on the outer layers. Its smell was just as rich and sweet as any other rose and filled your nose as you checked the vase and the nightstand, but there was no note to accompany it.

There were, however, several messages from one Doctor Schneeplestein on your phone, most of them accompanied by videos or photos taken yesterday while you could not see. You smiled and let the videos play in between darting into the bathroom (thankful that there was no waiting or awkward bumping into the others who shared this one with you) and making a somewhat decent effort to look human again after sleeping so hard last night. You laughed out loud more than once as you watched Wilford drag Dark into the ocean or the dancing that went on at Jack’s party the night before, but after a while you noticed just how quiet it was on this floor.

You could barely believe the time when you looked at the clock on your phone, and wondered how you managed to sleep this late in a house with this many loud personalities. After taking one last sniff of the rose and pocketing your phone, you left your room and made for the stairs, sure that the others would give you a hard time for sleeping in.

Except, as you walked down the hall, past silent bedrooms and bathrooms, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. Your steps seemed louder than normal on the stairs, and you already knew that the house was empty even before you reached the bottom.

Not this again, was your first thought. It was bad enough in Mark or the egos’ houses, but being alone in this place that still felt strange and unfamiliar after going on four days set all of your senses on edge.

And you couldn’t shake the feeling that you weren’t alone, despite the silence.

But then it hit you that today was the last day at the beach house. Of course, everyone would be outside, making the most of it.

You were so sure of the idea that you made straight for the back door, but had to pause in the main area of the house. Someone had rearranged the furniture after last night’s party, but what drew your attention was the single balloon in the center of the room. A card at the bottom of its string kept it from floating up to the ceiling, so it just bobbed in place.

Waiting.

From here, you could see your name on the card in bold letters, but you had to move closer and pick it up to read what was written just underneath it:

Surprise.

The moment you read the word, the room erupted into noise as a crowd of people definitely not there a second ago appeared in a burst of magic. Confetti fell from somewhere, and more balloons rained down around the room

“Surprise!”

Followed by first Mark, then Abe and Wilford, then pretty much everyone else pulling you into a hug, all trying to speak at once while three dogs added to the noise and excitement.

“What’s going on?” you asked, once you were finally given the chance to catch your breath and speak.

“It’s been one year, you silly goose!” Wilford said. “That means it’s your birthday!”

“What he means is,” Mark said, “One year ago from yesterday was the first day you left the mirror for good.”

“And one year ago today is when you met most of us egos,” Dr. Iplier added.

Jackieboy Man cleared his throat and gestured to himself and the other Septic egos.

“The important ones, anyways,” Ed Edgar said, ignoring the glares.

“It’s the day I found out my partner was still alive,” Abe said.

“And it’s the first time we ever even heard you talk,” Wade said, gesturing to himself and the rest of Mark’s friends.

“Yeah, and you probably still don’t remember the first time we met you, but we took a vote not to hold it against you,” Bob added.

“The Host reminds Y/N that, for the egos, their ‘birthday’ is the anniversary of their first video. When they are first introduced, and when the fans begin to get to know them. And when they first become a part of our family.”

“One highly dysfunctional, possibly emotionally scarring family,” Mark added before Tyler elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow.”

“It’s only fair to celebrate the day you joined us too,” Bim Trimmer said.

“And has nothing to do with, um, with forgetting your other birthdays at all.” Eric twisted his handkerchief. “Um. Since apparently you have more than one a year and we still missed both, no one’s really explained that…”

Dark decided now was a good time to distract Eric by pushing Henry toward him with his foot, at which point Eric promptly melted and forgot what he was talking about.

You blinked back tears as their words sank in, and nearly lost it when Wilford pulled you in for a side hug and declared, “We wouldn’t want you anywhere else. Happy birthday, Y/N!”

---

The day was far too short, and passed by far too fast.

Still, there was something soothing about returning to your room at the Iplier egos’ house and unpacking your bag in the quiet after everything was over. There were your own clothes of course, but there were also the gifts.

You smiled as you held a Cloak hoodie up.

“Dude! We’ve been over this,” Bob said when you opened Mark’s gift and found the Cloak clothing inside.

“Yeah, giving your own merch as a gift seems a little crappy,” Wade added.

“What? It’s really comfy!” Mark protested.

“Come on, man,” Jack chimed in, even as he slid his present for you underneath the table until later.

You laid out the PMA scarf on the dresser, thinking that while you might not ever need to wear it much around here, it would be nice to have the next time you went to Brighton. Beside it you put out the more normal gifts from the others, such as a video game or two, an enamel pin you had been looking at the other day, and a cap Chase had given you that looked very much like his own but with a loaf of bread in place of the usual logo. There was a page of sheet music from Jameson, with old-timey looking cartoons drawn in the margins and along the staves.

Like a magician pulling out colored scarves, you pulled out one, two, three, four Google shirts from your bag, all paler or darker variations on the usual colors. One of them was bright pink, just like the one you got a year ago.

“We have been told that slightly different variations on a familiar object can come across as comforting,” the blue Google said as you pulled them out of the box. “Otherwise known as the nostalgia factor.”

“What, does this make you an honorary Google now?” Ed Edgar asked, tilting his cowboy hat back as he looked into the box.

Google scowled. “Incorrect on every level as always, Edgar.”

You paused when you pulled the stuffed animal out of your bag. At least, you thought it was some kind of animal, but no one seemed to be able to agree on which one. Guesses so far had ranged from bear, dog, fox, to kangaroo, raven, and the default option for anything strange, platypus.

After time together in the house, several of you had taken the celebration into town, first finding some food and then walking around the streets until you wound up at an arcade where everyone had split up to try and win tickets.

At first, you thought the stuffed creature was an arcade prize when Wilford showed it to you, but there was nothing like it behind the counter. You seriously doubted there was anything like it anywhere.

“This little monster has a special secret just for you,” Wilford said, winking as he handed you the animal of indeterminate species. He grinned as you examined it and found the zipper on the back.

“…Wilford, this is a knife.”

“Because you never know when you’re going to need to administer a good stabbing.” He gave you a reassuring thump on the back and walked away, whistling.

You decided that secret could stay between you, Wilford, and “the little monster” and put the stuffed creature up on your dresser, where it could keep an eye on your entire room. You could only pity the fool who crossed the path of Sir or Lady Yet-to-be-Named.

As you rummaged through the pockets of your bag, you thought you had come across some unspent arcade tickets until you pulled out the stack of laminated cards. Each of them had the image of an Iplier ego just above a block of text.

“IOUs? Really?” Mark asked when he had first spotted them. “Did all of you do this?”

All four Google units shook their head, their expressions showing exactly what they thought of the idea, but the other Iplier egos grinned.

“One card equals unlimited time with the matching ego, no questions asked,” Bim Trimmer said, his tone suggesting that he was announcing a prize of some kind. “Because what better gift is there than quality time with us?”

Mark started to answer, but Bing spoke over him. “Suh, and check out the flip side! You can also use your card to get us to leave you alone for the day!”

Bing paused and, looking at the other egos, asked, “Your guys’ said that too, right? It wasn’t just mine?”

“…What’s it take to get one of these?” Mark muttered as he flipped the card over and read the back.

You straightened the stack of ego cards and found one among them that didn’t match. It was a small, dark card with bright silver writing that caught the light and seemed to glow as you read it.

One (1) get out of Little Y/N for a Day free card. Can be used at any time before or during the spell’s effect.

“This is a joke, right?” you had asked Marvin suspiciously after he handed you the card when the others weren’t paying attention.

“What? Of course, I would never abuse a spell I recently learned for my own amusement or as a gift for someone else,” the magician said, laughing at the idea. His eyes glinted behind his mask as he added in a lower voice, “You might want to keep that on you though, just in case.”

You considered the card for a moment before pulling the wallet out of your pocket and sliding it into an open space. The wallet was another gift, of course, as was the photograph inside.

Abe had waited until after the day in town, after everyone had returned to the house, until the one last trip to the beach. Out on the sand, where for once in his life his so-called undercover Hawaiian shirt almost blended in, Abe pulled you aside and said, “Here, Partner. From me.”

“Your wallet?” you asked.

“What? No! I’m never giving that up,” Abe said, offended at the very idea. “No, this is your wallet. There’s no badge, of course, but they’re still useful for keeping the important things around.”

You took the leather wallet and opened it to find a picture already inside. It was one of you and Abe, taken during a “case” that mainly seemed to involve staking out an ice cream parlor for reasons the detective had no time to explain then or ever since.

You smiled at it now as you had then, just before you had looked up at Abe and said, “I’ll take good care of it, partner.”

There were more photographs in the bag, which had been tucked away in their own pocket so as not to bend. You took your time going through them, picking which ones to add to the cork board on your wall here and which to take to your room at Mark’s house.

A picture of Mark, side eyeing a mannequin in one of the store windows. Jack with Ethan on his shoulders, both together still not tall enough to match the imposing statue in the center of town. The Host, splashing in the water with the other egos. Amy and Kathryn standing proud beside the clear winner of a sand castle building competition. You in one of your new Google shirts, a rare smile on the androids’ faces as they leaned into the shot. A surprise encounter with the Chef at the place where you stopped for lunch (seriously, did he work everywhere? But at least you got a free dessert, so that was nice), giving the camera a crooked smile as he leaned over Mark’s chair while Mark’s face was locked into more of a grimace, his eyes trying not to look at the dripping knife next to his shoulder

And then there were pictures you hadn’t personally taken. There was a wonderful picture of Wilford dragging Dark out into the ocean, which you knew you would cherish forever. You’d found a selfie on your phone taken by the Host, his eyes glowing gold as he tilted the camera to catch you sipping coffee in the background. The Septic egos lined up and dancing together like a boy band. Mark, Wade, Bob, Tyler, and Ethan apparently in a dance-off with said egos, with Jack as a heavily biased referee. A photo mixed in from Jack’s camera of Chase looking up at the tiny version of you perched on the brim of his cap (“Photoshop”, you and Jack had said to Mark before hastily hiding the rest of those pictures).

There was also a picture of you from last night, asleep on the couch with Chica, Henry, and Spencer all joining you for a nice nap.

The Host had asked at one point how Jack’s party went. The egos were more than happy to tell him plenty of stories (and while you hadn’t been able to see at the time, you were fairly sure more than a few of them were made up). Mark and Jackieboy took the opportunity to roast each other’s dance moves while Jack just said again how grateful he was for everything.

But you had to admit to the Host that you had fallen asleep early and missed some of it. “Someone even had to carry me up to my room after it was over. I wish I knew who it was so I could thank them.”

Because so far no one had admitted to being the one to carry you upstairs, and you certainly hadn’t mentioned the kiss to anyone. The closest you got was when Marvin said the idea had been thrown around to let you sleep on the couch all night and surprise you in the morning, which explained why no one else seemed to be around when you were taken to your room.

The Host was well aware that more than one person was suddenly listening, and there might be repercussions depending on what he said. He was also well aware of the standard response to give in situations like this, so he answered without hesitation:

“Kinkiplier.”

There was only one other gift, one that you had carried in rather than put in your bag. Dark hadn’t spoken to you once today, but you had no doubt in your mind who had given you the rose which now sat on your nightstand beneath the mirror on the wall.

A pretty flower didn’t even begin to make up for everything he had put you and everyone else through over the past year, but you’d kept it anyways. A more cynical part of you wondered how anything could possibly have survived under his care as you studied the way the colors mixed and blended together, until you paused, your thumb gently pressed against one of the petals. At the base of it, almost hidden among the deep reds and blues, was a shot of green. Examining the rose closer, you found more than one of the petals had traces of green in their folds, hiding from sight.

Strange. If you had to guess, you would have thought this was a red rose that had blue dye added to it at some point, or a white rose with both colors added. So how did that get there?

You inhaled, taking in the sweet scent of the rose one last time before replacing the vase on your nightstand. As you straightened up you caught sight of your reflection in the mirror and hesitated. It was the same mirror that always turned up in your room again and again no matter how many times you tried to get rid of it. By this point you had just taken to covering it up with a sheet or something whenever it bothered you.

One year. One year and a day ago you fell through a mirror and into this place, back into a life that still felt like it wasn’t completely your own. You thought of the District Attorney as you stared at your own reflection and managed a smile for them.

“Happy Birthday. Here’s to another year, together.”

You thought you saw a flicker of movement, something slightly off around the eyes, but when you blinked it was just your own reflection staring back at you. You sighed and, feeling a little silly, walked away to take care of one last thing before getting ready for bed. You failed to notice the swiftly fading imprint on the mirror’s surface.

The mark left by a hand, pressed against the other side of the glass.

That one last thing was a photograph, the only one that you had chosen to frame. You smiled at the image as you hung the frame on your wall and stepped back to make sure it was level.

It was a wide, panorama shot of everyone. You, Mark, Jack, Abe, all of the egos, all of your friends, even Dark being held in place by a borderline choke hold from Wilford, all gathered together on the beach and smiling at the camera. A rare picture of your family all in one place.

Your admittedly weird, dysfunctional, possibly emotionally scarring family, which you wouldn’t give up for the world.

((And that’s the end of Anniversaries! Thank you for reading, but also thank you all so much for the encouragement over the past year. I had absolutely no idea how this would go over when I first started, and I definitely hadn’t planned for it to go as long as it has.

I do have more than a couple of ideas floating around for where this goes from here. Got to counterbalance all of this fluff, right? Kidding, sort of, but it’s going to be a while before I can even start on that, so until then they can enjoy the moment.

Tagging: @silver-owl413  @skyewardlight @cherrybomb-jaguar @blackaquokat  @catgirlwarrior  @neverisadork @luna1350  @oh-so-creepy @purpstraw  @weirdfoxalley  @95fangirl  @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead  @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette  @geekymushroom @cactipresident  @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist ))

#markiplier #jacksepticeye #fanfic #wkm y/n #wkm district attorney #darkiplier #Wilford Warfstache #iplier egos #septic egos #wkm detective #disconnect #beach episode #y/n literally holds all the cards

[theadventuresofhelena]

Japan was a dream

Ugh. I was absolutely floored with how amazing Japan was. I expected to like Japan but not fall in love with it. Everything about it was amazing, it was a perfect first port. We arrived on January 24th and it was absolutely freezing cold, but we were determined to be outside to watch us pull in to our first real port (Hawaii didn’t count in my mind). My toes were frozen and my body was an icicle, but it was so wonderful. Everyone was so excited to finally be landing in a new country. At the port the workers had balloons and a marching band to welcome us, it was so cool to see and hear them play. We definitely felt like they were so excited for us to be here. My first day in Japan consisted of a Field Class for my Abnormal Psych class. We traveled by bus from Kobe to Kyoto where we went to a temple and had a class on meditation and got to speak to a monk (this relates to my class because of mindfulness). Immigration took forever so by the time I was able to get back on the ship I had to run to get my things, swallow down some sandwiches, and then run to the lounge where my class was meeting. We left about 10 minutes later and went to the bus, the drive from the cities didn’t take too long and it was really cool to see Japan by bus for the first day. Once we got to the temple grounds we had to walk a bit before getting to the actual building, but it was fun to see the little village it was in. We got to the building and had to take off our shoes and bags and then walked to a little room down the hall. When we got inside the room we were all silent because we had no idea what to expect and were unsure of what to do exactly. Eventually the monk slides open the door and pops his head in and says “Hey, hows it going?” And immediately we all start laughing because we had this stereotype of a monk and he broke it within the first second of walking in the room. He turned out to be a really cool guy and he actually travels to the US to speak on Zen Buddhism at universities which I thought was pretty cool! Anyways, I learned so much but I can’t say it all otherwise this post will be one million pages long, but we talked with him for a bit and then we meditated and I found out after about 7 minutes I’m pretty bad at it! But hey, it was fun and definitely something I wouldn’t mind trying more of in the future. After the meditation class we drank real Japanese Green Tea (which wasn’t that bad!) and some interesting rice-looking cookies (not quite sure what they were made out of). Then we talked with him some more and left to go to eat at a local restaurant. The restaurant meal was unreal. It was so freaking good. It had a little bit of everything on the plate (yes I took a photo, and you bet I’ll be adding it on here). There was shrimp, salmon, squid, tofu, a fish of unknown origin, veggies, green tea, rice, the whole nine yards! And those of you who know me know I am not a big fish person, but I’m in freakin Japan so I’m gonna eat it. And not gonna like ALL of it (minus the salmon) was AMAZING. The squid was probably my favorite out of all of them, it was SO good, I was shocked. I miss it honestly hahah it was freakin delicious. The salmon was alright, but the texture just didn’t seem right when comparing it to the AK salmon I’m use to being force-fed (just kidding ;)) but yeah, overall one of my favorite meals by far on this trip. That night, we got back to Kobe and decided not to go out and just go to bed to get ready for tomorrow. I had made plans with my friend Anna to travel with her and her friend Josh the next morning at 5am, but I couldn’t get a hold of her so I just placed a sticky note on her door to let her know that she can just wake me up when she gets up. So I went to bed, but got up at 6am just incase, but I couldn’t find Anna so I ended up finding my other friends Molly, Allison, and Allie to see what they were doing. They were going to Hiroshima that day and I was debating on going with them because I still couldn’t find or get a hold of Anna. I ended up deciding to go and that was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made. We only went there for the day, to see the museum and the one building that wasn’t destroyed when the bomb hit. But that museum was the most powerful museum I have ever been to. Every single one of us were fighting back tears, it is one of the most gruesome things I’ve seen. I questioned a lot about the decision Truman made when I began to see how horrible it was for the people living here (obviously a bomb is horrible anywhere, but when you see it’s effect in real life it is horrifying). The thing that really got me was a small tricycle that a three year old had been riding right before the bomb hit. The father buried his son in their backyard. There was a girl who had grown up healthy after the bomb struck, but later on in her life she developed leukemia and eventually died from it (some time in her teen years), there is a children’s park that is dedicated to her with thousands of paper cranes in containers that have the word “Peace” on them. I never thought about children dying in the bomb, only adults, and I think that is what really struck me. We left the museum with heavy hearts, but after recooperating slightly from that we went back to the train station to head over to Kobe. Now, on a lighter note, when I was in 7th grade I was in my social studies class watching this documentary series about a woman who travels around the world and gives insight on the people, food, culture etc. in different countries. And this particular day in class we were looking at Japan, more specifically Tokyo. And after I watched this episode my mind was immediately intrigued with Tokyo and I told myself I had to go there. Flash forward 8 years later, I find myself in the Kobe port terminal after already spending 2 days in Japan with friends, without yet being able to go to Tokyo. My entire mind was focused on getting to Tokyo, I could feel my body itching with anticipation of getting there. All my friends had plans to get there the next day but I knew that wouldn’t be enough time for me, so I asked my friend Allie if she would want to pack up tonight and catch a bullet train to Tokyo. She said yes and we ran to get our things. We caught a bullet train around 9:30pm which landed us in Tokyo at about midnight. We were struggling to find out how to get from the train station to the certain metro line we needed to get to so we could find our hostel, when a man came up and asked us if we needed help. We obviously said yes and he looked at where we needed to go and pointed us in the right direction, that normally doesn’t happen super often so I think our spirits lifted slightly because we were exhausted from traveling and we finally knew where we needed to go. Once on the metro we got off at the correct spot and then while getting out of the metro we were unsure again of which exit to walk out of. And again, another guy comes up to us and asks if we need help and we show him the address to our hostel and he points us in the right direction and we thank him and continue on. By the time we are coming up the stairs to the actual street, he was behind us (not in a creepy way) going the same way. He ended up catching up to us and told us that he could take us to our hostel because he lived close by. I had my maps up so I knew where we were and semi-knew where the hostel was located so I felt comfortable enough to let him show us the way. He ended up being so cute and funny because he legit gave us a tiny sight seeing tour while on the way to the hostel, we passed by a famous market and he took a picture of us there and then he showed us his favorite place to eat and what he orders, he showed us some places to drink at and other random things like amusement parks that were near by. He ended up adding both of us on Facebook and then we parted ways. Once we got to the hostel, we checked in, got into our room (which was shared with 30 other people-but it was actually wonderful, I’ll attach pics) and proceeded to pass out. We wake up the next day around 8am and decided to book another night at the hostel because we loved the location and the room and the price, once we got that out of the way we asked for a recommendation of where to get good Japanese food for breakfast. So off we went with our new little map, excited to eat because we were starving, but of course, when we got there, it was closed. It opened at 11am and it as only 9:30am, we didn’t want to eat American food so we looked at our surroundings and saw a Starbucks. We decided to get a small snack/drink and use their wifi to plan our day while we wait to get real food for our meal. So, I got my hot chocolate and we decided to walk through the market that Yudai (the guy who walked us to our hostel) showed us, see the temple that was at the end of it, go to the Sky Tree for views, and then head over to the Shibuya area for food. The market was a lot of fun, we tried hot sweet sake which wasn’t horrible but there was chunks of random things in there, and if they weren’t in the sake, both of us would have liked it better-but hey, we tried it! The temple was packed but it was really cool to see all the bright colors and people, and there were also some lanterns to the right of it that looked really cool. We walked to the Sky Tree afterwards which took some time but it was nice to walk around the streets for a while and just observe what people do here. Once we got to the Sky Tree I was taken back by how tall it was, and once we got to the top it was insane how huge Tokyo is. There was so much city all around us on every single side, it was crazy. I had no idea Tokyo was so huge! It was insane. (I’ll also add pics :)) And we could see Mt. Fuji from the top too because it was a pretty clear day, so that was pretty freakin neat as well :-) once we were done with the Sky Tree, we were hungry so we went to the nearest metro and made our way over to Shibuya to eat some highly anticipated ramen! When we got to the restaurant there was a wait, so we knew it had to be good. When we finally got into the restaurant we realized that it was once of those restaurants where there is the least amount of socialization possible, so you sit in a chair and there is small boards that come up to the right and left of the counter, allowing only one person to sit in each spot and in the front of the counter space there is a little blind that the workers pull down after taking your order (which you pick from a machine and the machine gives you a receipt so really the worker just takes your receipt). The ramen was freakin amazing, oh my god. I about died. There were only chopsticks and a small plastic spoon so it took me a while to eat it but it was sooo good, I cannot emphasize that enough lol After eating we went to check out the Shibuya crossing which is where 10 lanes of traffic is stopped and the crosswalks are open in all directions (including diagonally) for people to cross, it was pretty cool to see! I took a timelapse of it so I’ll add that onto here so you guys can see it as well :) That night we were meeting up with our friend Yuhwa so Allie and I went back to our hostel to get ready for the night and eat dinner. We ate at a place really close to our hostel that had these really long dumplings (our form of potstickers basically, just longer) and they were soo good!! We were still full from lunch so we split a plate of them and again, there were only chopsticks and no forks so I struggled quite a bit, but successfully ate them. After we ate we made our way back to the Shibuya area to go out for the night and meet up with Yuhwa and the people she was traveling with. While waiting to hear back on where we should meet them, Allie and I went to a little bar that was called the Hub or something like that, it ended up being kinda fun because it was jam packed with Japanese people and very few other westerners, but they were all super nice to us. I ended up trying this drink that was something like 20% alcohol in it, slightly terrified I took a sip and it ended up just tasting like Grapefruit juice! It was really yummy so Allie got one as well, and soon we met a guy who was living in Japan but from Seattle, he worked for Amazon and he was already fairly intoxicated and ended up buying us shots and we all cheers to Allie and I’s birthdays, after we took the shot Yuhwa finally got back to us and told her to meet us at this club called Atom, and off we went. It wasn’t too far from where we were so we walked, it was freezing and we didn’t bring coats because we weren’t sure if there would be a place to put them, but soon enough we were there. Cover charges is a thing in Tokyo which was unfortunate, but we paid and while we were waiting to get into the elevators to go up to the club we saw Yuhwa walking in with a bunch of people, so we ran over and they ended up paying for a locker so we waited for them to put their coats away. While waiting we met some Australians and one of them actually had taught English in Thailand, so that was really cool to talk with him about his experiences while teaching there! Finally we make it up to the club and we had so. much. fun. Yuhwa, Allie, and I were going ham with dancing, and we ended up jumping up on these little platforms where females only ( lol ) were allowed to dance, but Yuhwa was just the greatest and we all had such an amazing time dancing and the dj was amazing (and female!! #feminism) so all in all, twas a great night. Unfortunately, by the time we left it was around 3:30am and the metro was closed. So, we had the option of waiting and hour and a half for the metro to open or take a taxi back. Considering we had one million things we still wanted to do and see in Tokyo before we had to leave, we decided to take a cab back so we could get a little more sleep. We woke up around 9am to get ready for the day, we got to eat those really fluffy pancakes that are a thing in Japan, and they were SO filling. We only got two with one order so I was skeptical at first, but wowzers it filled me up so much. It was great. After we ate, we took the metro to the Shibuya area to meet up with Jocelyn, Kenzie, Kelley, and Molly. While Kenzie, Jocelyn, and Kelley went to a piercing/tattoo shop, Allie, Molly, and I went to a Shrine that was in a park area. While we began to walk through the path to get to the Shrine, there were huge lines of Japanese people along the side of the path. At first we were just really confused, but the lines never ended, as soon as one did there would be another starting 20 feet further down the path. As we got closer and closer, we realized that some sort of event had to be happening because inside the shrine there were chairs lined up and a very clear “stage” area as well as security and important looking people lol. As we walked through the square and took pictures and just observed, Molly suggested that we go through a little pathway on the left side of the Shrine. We all agreed because we were just extremely confused as to what was happening. As we make our way through we see a smaller line up of people to our right and in front of them by about 15 feet were 4 people dressed in suits, and this is when we kinda stopped to try to figure out what was happening, we asked 2 women who spoke English but they had no idea what was happening either. It was about 12:57pm and Molly asked if we wanted to wait a little bit to see if anything happens, and I figured if anything were to happen it would happen at 1pm, so we decided to wait. Soon enough, we see the guys in suits looking down a path to our right. I turn to look and I see this little black car come zooming towards us, they stop abruptly in-front of the guys in suits and everyone starts pulling out their phones and cameras (and all 3 of us are still thinking what the heck is going on here) so I pull out my phone to take a video as the crowd starts swarming to the car. The passenger door opens, and I hear Allie gasp and she turns back to us and say “It’s a Sumo wrestler!!!” and we move with the crowd to get slightly closer. He gets out and moves straight to turn a corner and we can no longer see him, but we all turn to each other and are stoked on life that we just saw a real Japanese sumo wrestler, we were seriously SO excited, we were laughing and exclaiming how cool that we got to see this dude. Turns out, a couple days later once we are back on the ship and on our way to Japan, Molly is checking wikipedia for world news (we only get a few free sites on our intranet system) and she finds an article that was talking about this sumo wrestler (here is the link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kisenosato_Yutaka#Promotion_to_yokozuna) so I guess this sumo wrestler is the first sumo wrestler since 1998 to reach yokozuna, I’m not quite sure what that means BUT we felt really freaking cool that we saw him in person for a good 10 seconds! Afterwards, we went to the National Park which also had a botanical garden in it, which was really cool. The park was nice, but everything was pretty dead because it’s January but it was still nice to walk through. It reminded me slightly of central park in nyc. Once we finished walking around we went to a cat cafe, which is a thing in Japan I guess. I had heard of it before i left and had sort of forgotten about it until everyone starting going to them. We passed by one earlier and decided to go after the Shrine and National Park. We spent 30 minutes there all having a blast, the cats were so cute and soft. But my mind kept thinking that something wasn’t quite right, and I was trying to figure it out and while we were on the metro to our hostel, Molly told me that most of the cats were sedated. Which first broke my heart, and second I was so upset at myself because I was ignorant and supported it by paying them to see the cats. The reason she knew is because their inner eyelids come across when sedated and she opened one of the “sleeping” cats eyes to see and she saw the eyelid. But obviously we can’t do anything about it now, but how the cats were acting confused me because they were all laid back and didn’t try to move when everyone would put their faces next to the cats faces to take a picture, and they were all fairly young cats which usually means they are pretty playful and active and there were only about 3 that were actually walking around and one of those three that was playing (I’m assuming they don’t sedate them all so it doesn’t get too boring when people come). So that was really sad for me, but I know I can’t do anything about it. After the cat cafe, we went back to the hostel to get ready for the night. We ended up going to the Golden Gai area to bar hop but we didn’t want to take a taxi home because it was about $60 total, so we got the last metro back to our area of town, around 12:30am. Molly, Allie, and I were pretty hungry so we ended up walking across the street to the McDonalds and ordering some chicken nuggets, the only problem was that you can only choose 5 chicken nuggets or 15. So, naturally, we all got 15 chicken nuggets and they had curly fries! So we got those as well. We sat in our hostel and just talked about our lives and got to know each other a little better, it ended up being one of my favorite nights because we just had such a great conversation and were laughing and cracking jokes while still being able to have deep conversations. It was wonderful :) The next day was our very last day in Japan, we packed up and checked out of our hostel and went straight to the metro to get to the train station to take our bullet train back to Kobe. On our way back, Allie and I purposefully sat on the right side of the train with the window because we wanted to see Mt. Fuji, and it was a beautiful sunny day and sure enough, about 45 minutes in we got our first glimpse at Mt. Fuji! It was so cool to see, I tried taking one million pictures but only got a few good ones because the train was going about 170 mph and random poles/buildings would get in the way of the pictures but yeah, that was really amazing to see! Soon we had made it to Kobe and we all got on the ship and dropped our things off and headed back to the terminal to get the free wifi for a few hours before we had to be back on the ship. I got to FaceTime my mom which was so great, and a few other people but then I had to head back to the ship. One of the best parts of SAS is everyone coming back and getting together and talking about what they did and how great of a time everyone had and all their different experiences. Japan honestly was such an amazing place, I didn’t expect to fall in love with, but i sure did and I can’t wait to come back to see so much more. The people were so amazing and the food was freakin great. My friends and I had dinner together and discussed all of our experiences before passing out because the amount of sleep we all got was a whole lot of none, and soon we were on our way to China :)

[mypostbreakupjournal]

13.03.18 / Day 3

Today I woke up in a better mood compared to yesterday.  This might’ve been a result of last night’s events, as it was great to let loose for a bit despite this week’s exams.  Enrique Iglesias was surprisingly good as a performer, and although I was slightly hesitant to attend the concert since there was someone whom I have pretty much an awkward relationship with, I’m still glad that I came.  It turns out our rapport wasn’t that awkward at all, and everyone even had drinks at a pub that I secretly chose.  

Well, I dragged everyone to Liquid Rock after the concert after hearing my friend say countless times that she wanted to drink in a place that was somewhat quiet so people can talk, and a place where her huge EI balloon would fit in.  It was a Monday night, and it’s not like a lot of places are open till late; so, instead of heading to the usual Szimpla, I thought I’d bring them there for two reasons: 1. to give my friend the ambience that she wanted, and 2. to test myself how I’d react to a place that literally reminds me of him.  I thought I’d be balling my eyes out once I excused myself to the toilet upstairs, but I was wrong.  I even stared at the wall that he used to take photos with his former fuck buddy, and not a drop came.  Thus, I was also able to prove to myself that the huge wall of insecurity is really no longer there (bam, hitting three birds with one stone!).  We stayed in the place a bit longer than expected since we really had a great time recalling our childhood (I guess that’s what going to Enrique’s concert does to kids who grew up with his music) and I’m elated that everyone had a good time.

On another note, I finally texted his parents and sister yesterday.  I was crying heavily while typing their messages, because I was recalling all of our good memories in my head.  They are simply amazing people and I was so blessed to have been part of that family even for just a short while.  I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me for any pain that I have caused them.  I truly did not mean to cause pain to anyone while battling my own.  At least I can say to myself that although I’m not perfect and that wall of insecurity was there, I can say that I truly loved their son/brother with all of my heart and soul and that I finally destroyed that wall for him, even if he himself perhaps does not think that way.  I’m elated that they even bothered to reply, varying their messages from thanking me, wishing me well, and hoping that everything would be fine.  I really wish them all the best that life could offer.

Consequently, he sent me messages a few hours later.  I thought he wouldn’t text me anymore, but he did.  I think this is his way of handling all the guilt that he has.  The first text was something that I expected: thanking me for sending a message to his parents.  The second one was something that I did not.  I can’t believe he asked me how our relationship went from one good Star Wars movie to a bad one, questioning what happened to us.  I wanted to tell him we were supposed to hang on to the relationship the same way that he hung on to the movies and the legion despite whether the new movie was good or bad.  I wanted to tell him that just like how no matter what anybody would say about the film, him still loving and defending it should be the same thing applied to us.  I wanted to tell him that just like the movies, our relationship wasn’t something that you let go of or stop loving because of the bad movies, or in our case, bumps on the road or what he called chasm.  I mean, a real relationship would never be smooth sailing, and life wouldn’t be that happy 100% of the time, or even 90%, right?  Such fantasies are only found in movies.  We, as humans, have to remain realistic and see the best in everything, despite what the facade may be showing us.  We should know what matters the most to us, and swallow our pride so we can somewhat live a happy life.  Not bump or chasm free, but a genuine one full of people who would never give up on us in this journey.

I wanted to ask him why he was sending me this; I wanted to ask what was the point.  I really didn’t understand why he was dwelling on this since he has already decided to take me out of the picture.  He even said it himself that he couldn’t see a future with me in it.  He already broke up with me.  So, why bother asking me this?  I wanted to ask him what I was supposed to say, what he wanted to hear.  But I didn’t.  Because I’m not that same insecure person or in his terms, “ungrateful brat” anymore, and I was now more concerned and hoping that he’s doing better.  Also, last night I felt that my reply should not contain any of those words, so I resolved to giving him an edited one: “Well, just like Star Wars, not all the movies are good nor bad, but all in all it was supposed to be amazing and something to look forward to.  Otherwise, the Legion wouldn’t be running.”  I threw in that legion comment to helpfully stick it, adding a “Sleep well.” since he wrote that he drank some medicine.  Even though I could do without caring for this man, I can’t fool myself and say that I don’t.  After all, I still love him.

What added to my confusion for the day was my mother texting me a page from her Bible reflection book, and the message for the day was a full page on praying for restoration of relationships.  She thought it was another sign, and my realistic side told her that God’s will will be done.  I told her that if He wants us to get back together, it should happen, but hopefully we would be stronger and complete individuals who would be ready and willing to go through any storm.  I told her that as I’ve always said, I hope he becomes complete in Christ and that God will make the necessary changes in him, and the same should apply to me.  If we are to reconcile and be united once again, I pray that it would be a renewed relationship (a new one solidified by God’s glory, not banking on the past with our individualistic selves) with Christ truly in the centre of our hearts, as this is the only way that we can weather any storm and have a long lasting life that is blessed with more than what we deserve.  However, should God’s plan be for us to stay apart, I wish that he would still make the necessary changes within us as individuals so we can move on and have better separate lives in the future.  

All of this reminds me of Proverbs 3: 5-6, wherein it is written to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”  Although this verse has always had a special place in my heart, I think this is the perfect time to rely on it so I can start healing.  I’m feeling so blessed that God has given me the strength to finally accept the break up, and that the pain is starting to fade away.  I’m looking forward to that day where I would remember this all as a chasm that I managed to rise out of.  I am not afraid of whatever the future may bring me, because I can always rely on Him.  I’m praying for restoration and healing, and for a wonderful week ahead.

#post breakup #proverbs

[midlifechic]

Hello. We haven’t had a ‘trying it on’ post for ages so today I thought I’d show you some of the things I’ve been ordering. It’s half term here and I’ve been doing my best to work from home and spend some time with the boys because I know these days are trickling through my fingers. In fact I only have 4 more February half terms left in my life.

So, join me in the chaos. In the pictures below, you can see from the landscape behind me that the kitchen looks as though it has been ravaged by wild bears. They emerge from their lairs on an hourly basis to hunt for food – often with cubs from other caves who have ambled over to spend the day with them.

I’ve given up asking them why they can’t clear away after themselves because, like bears, they respond with a hollow grunt. The easiest solution I’ve found is to wait for the nightly return of the Alpha bear and his resounding roar.

Item 1 – the Boden dungarees

So, moving on to midlife sanctuaries – I spent ages going through the Boden catalogue when it arrived because I really wanted to order a few things to try on. The problem I had was that I couldn’t find enough for a whole post. I was looking for a new story but most of their collection seems to be a repeat. But then I came across the dungarees… and thought I’d give them a try.

I haven’t had a pair of dungarees since I was 13. I remember being the first person in my village to have any (the advantages of having a brother who lived in London). They were my first real foray into fashion and as I wandered around doing my best to look nonchalant, even the girls who hung around the bus stop gave me a nod of respect.

So, I thought these were going to be one of those things that I tried for a laugh and then sent back. However my friends, I love them.

This is how I wore them for a day in the office on Wednesday, the heels smartened them up sufficiently. In the evening I had to rush out as soon as I got home to meet friends for a drink in the new pop up bar in our village (where we found the farmers struggling, unable to match our enthusiasm for the row of expensive gins). Anyway I just rolled them up a bit, changed the heels for boots and added one of my long Hush cardigans.

Dungarees

I know I’m late to the dungaree party but I’ve since tried them with lots of other tops such as high necked blouses and cashmere jumpers – and then with ballet flats and Mary Janes. Everything seems to work with them and adjust the look slightly.

They have of course given Mr MC and the boys no end of amusement. Despite their requests, the one thing I have refused to do is wear a red jumper underneath so that they can call me Mario.

They’re selling out quickly so you need to move fast if you want to try them. Code A6M7 will give you 20% off with free postage and free returns until midnight 18th February.

Dungarees

Item 2 – the Finery peg trousers

Continuing with my quest to update the clothes that I wear in the office on days when I don’t have to meet up with formal clients, I know I need to update my tailored crops. As trouser shapes continue to move towards the more generous, I wanted to give pegs a try.

Again they take me back – but to to the early 90s this time, when all trousers had a pegged waist. These are from Finery. The quality is, as always, amazing for the price. However their sizing seems to have gone small again. These are a size 12 and they were a bit tight when I sat down. With the pleats, this made them bunch around my waist like a balloon.

So, I’m going to exchange them for the size up because otherwise they’re perfect. Finery do seem to struggle with getting trouser sizing right – they’ve always come up small on me until last season when they seemed to have it right.

Item 3 – the Forever Sweatshirt

The other item that I am trying on here is the sweatshirt which is a thing of pared down beauty. It was released as part of Finery’s ‘Forever Pieces’ collection last year but in grey. I loved it but just didn’t need a grey sweatshirt. It is now available in this beautiful inky blue which is just a shade lighter than navy and more flattering to most skin tones.

The gold zip detail on the sleeves makes it slightly smarter, giving you a touch of athleisure that you could still wear for work. It is a fantastic quality heavy cotton so it will be great for summer evenings too.

Item 4 – the ‘V’ Vamp heels

Moving on to the shoes (and forgive my dry ankles and feet, it’s the first time they’ve seen the light of day for months). These are another success. The V shaped vamp is very Victoria Beckham and they give you another way to extend the life of your skinny jeans for a while.

They are new in but there is already limited stock in most sizes. They’re also available in khaki and black but all shades of pink are going to be huge this year and this dusty apricot shade is a little less saccharine.

I wonder if you can guess where they come from….

V Vamp shoes

Item 5 – the ribboned ballet flats

I had high hopes for these, I particularly need comfortable flats when I’m in London and spend the day running up and down the escalators at different tube stations to get to meetings. They’re extremely comfortable but I’m not keen on the high vamp. It made my feet look and feel too big so I’ll be sending these back. If you have tiny feet they’d be great, they’re lovely quality and the width of the grosgrain ribbon is better than the others I’ve seen.

Lace up ballet pumps

There was one more winning outfit in the boxes but I’m wearing it tonight for the opening of a new play so I’ll hopefully have some good photos to show you next week. In the meantime I just wanted to alert you to the new season launch from Hush.

The new collection from Hush

Hush are one of the only brands that I haven’t had chance to meet up with yet but I’m seeing them next week. However they released their new collection on Monday and so I’ve pulled together the pieces that I think are particularly strong.

Some context

We’ve already alluded to the strong throwback to the end of the last century that is visible in the world of art and high fashion. There’s a nostalgic yearning for those pre-Millennium days: post iron curtain and IRA, pre 9/11 when, for a while, there was burnishing hope. We had BritPop and BritArt, Tony Blair was newly elected and there was a mood of optimism everywhere.

Of course this nostalgia has been heightened by the shocking loss of so many of that era’s cultural icons in 2016. You can see it coming through in stylistic and graphic references everywhere.

I’m highlighting this cultural zeitgeist not in a nerdy fashion way but because in my view, it gives more context to the new range from Hush. The thing is that instead of the rock band graphics and grunge influences that are appearing elsewhere, Hush have referenced it in a wearable way.

Their t-shirts and graphic motifs will add a splash of youth to your wardrobe without you looking as though you’re having a midlife crisis and running off to join the band. These pieces may have jarred with you initially but they are the ones to consider.

The lightning bolt

With this you can salute Bowie and all that he stood for. I really like the grey and copper colourway, it would look great with a blazer and jeans. I know it’s early to be thinking of t-shirts but I suspect with the first shot of sunshine, this will sell out (it’s also available in black and white, or olive and white – which is already out of stock).

Lightning bolt tee

The same colourway has also been released in a sweatshirt but that has currently sold out too – hopefully it will be restocked soon.

Lightning bolt sweat top

If you prefer something more subtle, this is the way to go. Hush always cut a v-neck so well and the fact that they have used the fabric on the bias means that this will not cling but hang in a relaxed, flattering way.

Mini lightning bolt tee

It’s also available in white and gold which would be even more wearable.

Mini lightning bolt tee

The 80s graphic style

So, as you can imagine, 80s graphics major on an American vibe. You’ll have seen the Joanie loves Chachi sweatshirt which is a real Marmite item. It’s not for me but clearly a lot of people love it because it’s currently out of stock.

Joanie sweat

Slogans are big again this season and this tee will be great worn with the new pale blue wash jeans that will be everywhere this summer.

Aloha tee

Even this season’s stripe has 80s spacing – do you remember having hearts like this plastered all over your 6th form folders?

Heart stripe tee (also available in grey and white)

The heart is also available in a jumper

Heart stripe jumper

Or you can just opt for a simple metallic stripe

Striped v neck tee

Something to wear now

If you need something new to wear now, Hush have released the Stella jumper in two reversible options: soft grey with either navy or blush so with these, you have two jumpers for the price of one.

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Reversible Stella jumper

So, I know it’s freezing February and it’s hard to think of t-shirts but these are the pieces that I suspect will go before we’ve even seen the first swallows arrive. I’m sure I’ll have more to tell you about Hush once I’ve caught up with them and had a chance to really look at the clothes.

Midlife lately

We’ve had a lovely half term week and I’ve managed to have some simple times with the boys. Most days I’ve persuaded them to emerge from their lairs and do something with me for a while. I was particularly surprised when they both said they wanted to see Lego Batman at the cinema. As I sat there surrounded by dozens of little boys in their Batman costumes and their weary mums, I savoured every minute of it, knowing that it could well be the last time that they’ll want to see the school holiday blockbuster.

We’ve also spent time out in the woods with Gary. This week the first real signs of Spring have arrived and I thought you might like to see them. The snowdrops are in full bloom…

…the trees are laden with catkins…

…early primroses are peeping through…

…and the daffodils are on their way.

Of course as soon as you manage to detach teens from their media sources they quickly regress, even though their legs are now too long for the old rope swing…

…and, despite endless attempts, they couldn’t release the other one that has been tangled high in the branches of the trees by the Winter winds…

…but there are always rocks to clamber over.

And with that I’ll leave you. Happy weekend everyone, I hope you’ve enjoyed your half term if you’ve had one and that you’re sensing that hopeful feeling that comes with the first glimpse of Springtime. The woods are waking up, the warmer days will soon be here and before we know it, we’ll be basking in sunshine wearing those t-shirts!

Disclosure: ‘Trying it on – Boden, Finery, M&S…and Hush SS17’ is not a sponsored post.

Other SS17 posts you may have missed

Spotlight on Baukjen

Inès de La Fressange at Uniqlo

Finding the ultimate breton top

What I’ve been wearing

Winter jumpers and the new jean style

Reviewing Next SS17

Midlifechic’s 3rd birthday – what’s next?

The Midlife Series

What is midlife in the twenty-tens? 

Survey results – what you are experiencing

My story

      Trying it on – Boden, Finery, M&S…and Hush SS17 Hello. We haven't had a 'trying it on' post for ages so today I thought I'd show you some of the things I've been ordering.

#2017 #Boden #casual chic #new season #shoes #WIWT #working wardrobe #workwear chic