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#dear yoba i am tired
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does this count as fanart
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deepestnightcolor · 3 days
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Oml I love your writing, I just binged all the Sam fics! I saw you take requests for Harvey 👀 any chance for a “confidential check up?”
Hello, dear anon!~ Thank you so much for both the compliment and request. This was my first time writing a full-blown Harvey fic - and I hope I did suffice :D
Thanks for your request, and thank you so much for your time and love! <3
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ᴀ/ɴ: as I said, this is my first time writing a Harvey fic and I am still sick, so I hope it will suffice!!
PS: I hid two Easter eggs this time. >:)
PPS: maybe 2,5, one being a slight nod at @sashiavi >:))
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Harvey (SDV) x afab!reader
ᴡᴄ: 4194 words
ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: medical misconduct, unprotected sex, light nipple play, seductive reader, Harvey's a little insecure.
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☾ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ, ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴅʏ ☽
A secret that you'd never share? Simple and carnal, your secret was. Primitive, even. You had only made the appointment with Doctor Harvey to finally wrap the man around your finger.
You had tried it fair and square at first, you seriously had! Coming by whenever he had time, bringing him little gifts you were sure he'd like; trying to engage him in conversation.
However, Harvey always seemed so busy, so professional. Telling you to take care and stay healthy and giving you advice on how you achieve just that. Always looking out for you, always gentle in his words and behavior. And by Yoba, it made you want to break him even more.
Also, what better way was there to implement your plan than to catch the little lamb where it felt the safest and most confident? Of course, it was a little unfair, pretending you needed his help and skills to treat an injury, but then again you did. Just not in the way Harvey would expect. He had loads of chances to get the hint, but nothing had worked. Not even when you had fished out the shortest skirt possible out of your closet and wore it with a top that left barely anything to one's imagination, accidentally falling on your knees right in front of Harvey, showing off those lace panties of yours. No, that hadn't worked either. Harvey had let out a gasp that made you believe you had finally done something to him, just to rush to your side and ask if you were okay. If you needed help, if you were dizzy. Fuck did you want to cry out that you were dizzy for him, his touch. Instead, you gave him a sweet smile, fluttering your lashes at him as you told him no, you were fine. But thank you so much, Harvey!
You had scrambled to your feet and made your way back to the farm with your head hanging, and that was the point you decided it would probably need to be all or nothing.
“So, what brings you here today? Maru only noted that you requested to see me. I hope you didn't hurt yourself?” Harvey asked, scooting closer on his rolling chair. You were already propped up on the table, smiling sweetly at Harvey.
You had picked out an excellent outfit for the day, if you were allowed to say so. A blouse that was easy to open up and discard, and a skirt that seemed modest enough yet was nothing but of the mere purpose of covering up your lack of panties. And you were hurting. Terribly so, even. For him.
“Nono, Doc. I just, you know. I've been feeling some kind of way. Under the weather, you might say.” You leaned forward a bit now, running your fingers through your hair before twirling a strand around your finger. You were met with a pair of green-brown eyes, so full of consideration and empathy. It made you want to just sit on his face and make him spill all of his care onto your sweet pussy until you could feel it in every part of your body.
“I see! And how does that show? Do you have a headache? Do you feel more tired than usual?”
So sweet and caring, Doctor Harvey. Too cute to not bite.
You let out a sigh as if you were contemplating, biting around on your lower lip. “No, that's not it. I don't know how to describe it, it's…embarrassing.”
The doctor looked up at you again, putting away his notepad now. He gave you a sweet, genuine smile. A hand landed on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"There’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. This is a safe, confidential space; nothing will leave these walls.”
Go on, little lamb. Step right into the trap.
You leaned back a bit, pushing out your chest now. “Well, it's my chest. It's been so…so tender lately.”
A hum. That's all you got. A hum. Or so you thought. Because if you looked closely, you could see more. His moustache was twitching as his eyes flickered down to your breasts. Harvey was a professional, though. He quickly cleared his throat, nodding at you.
“Alright, I will glad- I would be happy- let's take a look, shall we?”
It took a lot from you to not break out in a grin; having the man break out in a stutter like that? It definitely was a step forward.
“Yes, please.” You needed to pretend to be innocent now - you didn't want to scare him away, after all.
Your fingers were quick to unbutton your shirt and your upper body was already bare before the doctor could even properly turn back to you. For a moment, his motions seemingly stuttered to a halt, his hands still clasped together from rubbing the disinfectant on them.
His moustache twitched again as he approached you, taking a seat on the chair again.
“Alright, my hands might be a little cold from the disinfectant, but I should be quick.”
Fuck, you hoped that he wouldn't be. You gave him a nod and what you hoped to be a shy smile, pushing your chest towards him a little.
And then, finally…Fucking finally you felt tender fingers on the soft skin of your breasts. It left you breathless for a moment, helpless as he traced the curves of your tits so expertly.
The moan falling from your lips really wasn't an accident, but Harvey, dear sweet Harvey, decided to let you off the hook. Ever the gentleman, wasn't he?
“Did that hurt?” He asked, his eyes flickering up to you, gently squeezing the flesh again. This time you looked straight into his eyes as you moaned, licking your lips. “No, it just…tingles,” you grinned, eyes following Harvey's dropping hands with dismay. 
“Well, I did not find any lumps or irritations that could explain the tenderness. Did any lifestyle changes happen? Or perhaps a new medication?” 
Pretending to be thinking, you swung your legs back and forth. One of your feet got in contact with his shin, slowly tracing upwards only to slide down again.
The man’s face was stoic, eyes trained on your face with a stern look. 
Yet again, the twitching of his moustache betrayed him.
The thought that you hadn't responded yet reeled you in a little: “No…Well. Maybe kind of? You know…I've been having, well. Thoughts about someone. Thoughts about them touching me, wanting me,” you began, your foot wandering to his knee.
“Could that be it?”
A blush had spread on his cheeks now, and Yoba did you love to see it. He picked up the notepad and quickly jotted something down, then nodded.
“I assume that could be it-”
“And what do I do about it, Doctor? It hurts, after all.”
Immediately, his attention is  back on you completely. “Hurts? Where?”
A vague pointing to your body made Harvey's hand reach out, touching your stomach. “Here?”
You shook your head, letting your foot wander down again. “Lower.”
His brows furrowed now and he let his hand slide towards your abdomen. “Here? Are they cramps?”
Again, you shook your head.
“Lower.”
He was hesitating now, looking up at you with an uncertainty you had never seen before, and it felt like another small victory.
“Could you…uh. Point me to where it hurts?”
Click - the trap was snapping shut.
It didn't need many words; you opened up your legs without an ounce of hesitation, revealing your cunt, all wet and ready for the doctor. “There.”
Harvey swallowed thickly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words. Words that wouldn't have him lose his license. It wasn't like he hadn't seen genitals before - much more than one would expect from a small town like this - and he had never been affected. So why was his throat dry now? Why was his heart pounding like this?
“It's getting like this whenever I see handsome men like you, what could that be?”
“It’s getting like…what?” by now he was thankful that he was able to get some words out with his head feeling as light as it did right now.
“I dunno…wet?”
His eyes went straight back to your pussy, staring at it. You were wet. And you looked delicious. But he was a doctor. A professional. He had done so much to be where he was right now!
“Oh! That…uh. That…it- well. It stems from attraction. It's so..so sexual intercourse can happen more easily, you see. All natural. There's no need to worry at all.”
He was pulling back, this damn professional. Even though you could see that you were getting to him. “But…isn't there a remedy?”
Harvey wanted to just sink into the ground. His head still felt light, and he could feel his pants tighten - he had been mesmerized by you ever since you had introduced yourself. And of course, he had noticed your attempts to catch his attention - he wasn't stupid, after all. Yet Harvey had promised himself. Promised himself to not get too involved anymore. And now you were here. Exposed, and seemingly ready for him. So close but- he had to be strong. Be a doctor.
“Well, for one…You could do some self-care. Masturbation is quite healthy for the human body and mind.”
Like hell he'd recommend you to have sex with someone else, not even someone like him could be so professional. You called him handsome after all, for crying out loud!
“Oh! And…how does that work?” 
Your patience was running thin now, but you felt like you were so close to having him where you wanted him, despite him being so oblivious. His face was motionless now as he stared at you, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He was obviously looking for words.
“I-”
“Come on, Doctor Harvey. You're supposed to help me, aren't you?” You cooed, interrupting the clouding thoughts before they could really rain on him.
“But- that is the thing. I am your Doctor-”
You didn't answer him right away, your hand wandering to your clit first, giving it a gentle flick.
“And what if you prescribed yourself to be my remedy? I think you're the only thing that can help me,” you moaned.
The groan coming from his direction certainly wasn't professional anymore. A hand, now warmer than before, settled on your thigh. “You said it hurts here?” 
Before you could look where his finger was pointing you could feel the pad of it trace through your wet folds. 
“Exactly,” you breathed, spreading your legs a little further. 
“I can't see much,” he murmured, his cock twitching painfully in his pants. “I'd need to clean you up first before I run some more tests...is that okay with you?”
The bobbing of your head was enough for Harvey to finally break down.
He leaned forward faster than he would have guessed from himself, his fingers spreading your folds, and by Yoba, you were wet. All the more reason to examine you closely, wasn’t it? Keeping you healthy wasn’t bad, after all. It was his job. And if that was what it took, he would oblige – for the sake of medicine, of course. Not because of his throbbing cock and the desperate need to taste you on his tongue; not because he was salivating from the thought alone.
His tongue slowly slipped out of his mouth, a sliver of hesitation lingering in the air. He could see your hole contract when you thought him close, he could see the shivers making the muscles of your thighs twitch whenever his hot breath hit the wetness of your cunt, and yet…wasn’t this wrong? Had he somehow taken advantage of you?
“Harvey, fuck, please?” A small rock of your hips followed your words. Urging him closer. He could smell you now, and holy life, did you smell good. Lured him right into taking a deep whiff, as if he didn’t know he would get drunk on you immediately. Yet he did know and he willingly took another deep inhale. The impatient whine above him caused his eyes to flicker up to your face. You looked down at him, your lower lip tugged between your sets of pearly whites. No words needed to be spoken, and yet Harvey still followed your order.
His tongue slowly slipped out of his mouth; eyes glued to your face. He wanted to see how you would react to that first contact, wanted to see if you felt as hot as he did right now. His pants were really straining against his aching erection, his zipper pressing against the shaft through his boxers. He was pretty sure those were wet too by now, with all the pre-cum he had been leaking. He finally pressed the muscle against your entrance, licking a flat, thick line upwards. And he took his time doing it; so much so that it had your toes curl and your thighs close in around his head. The brunet was quick to react, though, one hand holding your leg open, while the other busied itself with spreading open your pussy for his hungry tongue. His licking had become faster now, but precise enough to avoid your clit. He was, after all, only cleaning you up now, wasn’t he? Still, that didn’t mean that his hot tongue licking up whatever you gave him didn’t make you moan for him. How long had you been thinking about this? Having Harvey between your legs, in any which way he would have offered? Too long. And now he finally had his head buried between your thighs, licking and sucking you up like a starved man offered a meal after ages of going hungry. His tongue licked up and down, from one side to the other, but he still ignored your hardening clit with apparently the same professionalism he had ignored your advances before.
He gave your lips a light suck, then sunk his tongue deep inside of you. A groan left his glistening lips, eyes shut tight while he lapped at your walls eagerly, trying to get as much of you as possible into his mouth. “Harvey, oh fuck, right there,” you breathed, hand flying in his hair to hold onto the strands between your fingers tightly, giving a tug that was harder than you had intended it to be. But that only seemed to spur the male on more, his face burying deeper, tongue and lips working in unison now. And by Yoba, he had never tasted anything this good; so sweet, so…you; and you were addictive.
Your hips bucked upwards for him, if to grant him easier access or just because you couldn’t keep them down anymore, you didn’t know. You didn’t really care, either. Harvey’s moustache rubbed against you in a way that made your head spin, his lips sucking on you while he circled his tongue within you made your whole body tense. Even when pussy-drunk he seemed incredibly precise, knowing just where to brush past, when to suck and when to lick.
 You weren’t able to do much anymore, just hold onto his hair and wait for the sweet, sweet release to wash over you and in turn, Harvey’s tongue.
It was close; you could feel it in the ripple down your spine, in the way you clenched around him, you could feel it in the pit of your stomach, too. You were dangerously close to the edge, and one well-placed flick would push you over. You were ready for it; the string of moans that left your lips were dirty, raw, carrying all the words you couldn’t form anymore.
You awaited the feeling of your orgasm crashing over you, not to suddenly feel empty and cold after being engulfed in the warmth of his mouth. But Harvey was standing now, his face wet and his glasses fogged up from the heat that had reached the cool surface, and yet you knew that he was staring right at you. You opened your mouth, but you didn’t trust your vocal cords just yet, so all you did was letting out a confused hum, to which the brunet in front of you smiled.
“You are all clean now- I believe you are ready for further tests.”
Fuck, you were. More than that. By now, you really felt an ache in your body, and the only remedy was there, right in front of you, fumbling with the buttons of his pants. His hands were shaking, enough so for you to lean forward, popping the button open for him. The doctor let out an awkward laugh, moustache twitching from the embarrassed rumble that went through him. “Sorry,” he whispered but quickly switched gears when you pressed a kiss to his lips. The taste of you mixed with his spit made you whimper, the appetite for him only growing within you. You wanted to help him tug down his boxers as well, but instead of fabric, you were met with the soft skin that had been hidden beneath until now. Your throat went dry; you just had to pull away and look at him. He was big, tip coated in a layer of pre-cum, his shaft girthy.
“Harvey, please,” you stammered, leaning back on the table so he could lean over you more easily.
The brunet followed you like a well-behaved lamb, leaning in again to kiss you. You could feel the tip of his dick against your entrance, slowly pushing forward. The stretch the head of his penis caused made your eyes roll back, excitement for the rest of his girth stretching you bubbling inside of you.
Harvey, ever the gentleman, took it slow. Rutting inside of you, centimetre after centimetre, eyes fixed on your face for any signs of pain and discomfort. He brushed your hair to the side to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, telling you how good you felt, how wet you were for him, and holy Yoba, did he ever feel anything like this before?
You had to admit, at first, the stretch did hurt a little, but with both him being so tender with you, so gentle, the pain quickly turned into a cloud of lust and despair. You wanted him, and you weren’t afraid to show him anymore. “Harvey, oh, for fuck’s sake, fuck me.”
A twitch, and then a shove that made him bottom out inside of you. A groan from him bled into the moan that tore from you, but that didn’t make Harvey pause. Not anymore.
His thrusts were shaky, unsure at first. He was just so adorable, wasn’t he? His eyes searched yours as if to ask for approval, as if to make sure he was doing this right, and it made your heart swell within your chest.
“You are so good to me, Harv,” you whispered, shamelessly letting your moans slip for him. The brunet’s eyes lit up, and he pushed his hips forward faster, more eagerly now.
Smiling to yourself, you let your head lull back. Harvey’s dick felt so good within you, filling you out with clumsy thrusts that steadied the more confidence he felt. Your back arched in as the brunet found a rhythm that seemingly fitted both your tastes; fast strokes that reached deep within you. The little grunts that left his slightly swollen hips only added fuel to the fire, only made you want him more.
Your legs hooked around his soft hips as he fucked into you with quick thrusts, body working with him to get him to go harder, more ruthless. Lucky for you, Harvey was a quick learner. Dick now fucking into you harder, red tip still pounding as deep as he could go.
The man’s face was a mix of pleasure and astonishment as if he wasn’t able to believe this was really happening to him. You just felt so damn good around him, walls clinging to his hot cock, sucking him off with each thrust. If he had a say in it, he would have never left your sweet pussy again, keeping his dick buried inside of you, thrusting into you whenever he deemed fit.
The moans and whines of his name that filled the examination room made his vision blur; his balls incredibly tight all of a sudden.
“Harveeey,” you gasped out, your hand reaching for his in an attempt to hold onto something again, fingers gently brushing along his knuckles before intertwining. The brunet above you was panting now, his hips never stilling as he fucked into you. His eyes, however, weren’t focused on your face anymore; they had fallen onto your tits that were bouncing oh so nicely for him with each of his thrusts. He just couldn’t help himself; it was too tempting – his head dipped down, teeth catching one of your pretty pink nipples, nibbling on it just to suck it into his mouth moments later.
You could feel the feeling start to grow inside of you again, your orgasm approaching you, even though you didn’t want this to stop yet. You didn’t want this to end just now, now that he was filling you up so perfectly, cock sliding against your squishy walls with such ease; you didn’t want his balls slapping against your wet cunt to stop just yet, you wanted, no, needed, more.
As if hearing your thoughts, Harvey picked up his pace just a little more, his mouth switching to the other nipple to pay it the same amount of attention. The squelching sound of the wetness between your legs was to die for, just like the feeling of his orgasm hot in his veins.
You just felt so deliciously good, better than any neat whiskey ever could have, and it made him go crazy. He felt hot, he felt like he was just about close enough to heaven to feel it, but not quite there. The bucking of his hips grew more desperate as he chased his orgasm, going hard and deep inside of you while his mouth busied itself leaving hickeys on your bouncing tits. The insecurity from before had vanished, and the groans, the begs, the whines, the praise, all coming from you was enough to keep it away.
“Harvey, I am- fuck, I am so close-“
He would have answered, had he been able to. But he had basically gone mute, aside from the whimpers and groans, as well as high-pitched moans that dared to tumble from his tongue. Instead, he just nodded at you and did his best to pick up the pace some more. It was just so hard with you sucking around him so nicely, drooling all over his dick. So hard to focus when he could feel you shake beneath him, making his body ache for the final push.
The bite to your tit he gave you, combined with his deepest thrust yet was enough for you. You squeezed his hand tightly, your toes curling and your back arching in as finally allowed the release to flow over you. You cried out his name, your sweet, pretty cunt spasming around poor Harvey, who was, admittedly, both absolutely pussy-drunk and empty-minded.
His breathing now came in forceful, laboured pushes, and if he had ever heard a patient breathe like that, he would have sent them straight to bed and run endless tests on them. But this – this was nothing but the sheer hunger for one person.
He suddenly slammed forward once more, his back arching in as he moaned out your name loudly, penis twitching as he came inside of you, cum painting your walls white. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to not lose focus, his mouth hanging open as he fucked you through your orgasm. Your legs were quivering with each thrust that sent shocks up your spine from the overstimulation that slowly started to nag at you.
Panting, the brunet tried to keep himself from crashing down on top of you, a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. His eyes were still hazy as they took in your fucked-out expression. You looked ruined but also completely…satisfied.
Your hand was still shaky as you reached up to let it run down his flushed cheek, a smile on your lips. “That definitely helped, Harv,” you whispered, voice slightly more hoarse than it had been that morning.
Harvey cleared his throat, and after a moment or maybe two – maybe also three, he just felt so good inside of you – pulled out of you, shaky legs carrying him over to the sink where he wettened some paper towels to clean you up.
“I am glad I was able to help.”
Disappointment settled in your stomach. Was that it? Did he just go back to his professional self like the table beneath you wasn’t drenched in your wetness and his cum?
“But I need to run a few more tests. I think home visits would be best; I’d need different surfaces and times.”
Click. Two lambs had fallen for the trap
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Hi there! Uh, I was wondering... do you have any thoughts or headcanons about Camilla (SVE) with a Farmer who seems to have no interest in her or her charms at all? For example, The Farmer doesn't feel anything towards Camilla whilst she tries her best to get a reaction from them, sort of idea. I have been playing with my secret couple with Camilla, and I'm intrigued to see your idea with this prompt! I hope it makes sense.
Have a good day! I also like to give a bouquet of friendship flowers to your Farmer, Julian 💐
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Thank you so much, dear anon! 💕 Julian thanks you too and sends you a friendly bouquet in return as well! 💐 💐💐
So, about your question....
A long time ago (2 years ago lol) when I was just discovering SVE lore and reading on Reddit and Tumblr how many people wanted to finally get into Castle Village, I had a fleeting thought at the time, "Heh, that would be a comical situation if Farmer had the option of turning down Camilla's offer to go there, purely for the funny reaction." I never thought too much about this headcanon because who am I kidding, I want to go to Castle Village to see Camilla to have an affair with her or Isaac or Alesia let me in please aaaaaaaaaaaa!
Now that I think about it...
Imagine if Camilla gave the Farmer a whole challenges that left the poor Farmer tired, covered in mud, monster blood and Yoba who knows what else. All they want to do is eat and sleep. And then Camilla teleports them back to her place, triumphantly announcing that that was the whole ordeal and asks the Farmer: "Well, are you ready to visit the Castle Village?"
To which Farmer smiled tiredly and said: "No", not forgetting to show that main witch and the others present middle finger 🖕 and teleported home.
Camilla is definitely going to lose face for a minute, because Farmer became the first person to turn down the opportunity to visit the most important place of all adventurers and wizards, and also the first person to refuse Camilla's offer at all, a woman who definitely doesn't accept the word "no" and generally always does things her way.
It would definitely hit her ego. How could anyone dare not give in to her natural charms and not to do what she wanted?! Rude!
And from now on, the stubborn woman will be annoying and teasing Farmer at every turn, while acting secretly. After all, Farmer has no proof that Camilla is responsible for all the shenanigans, does she?
And in my personal opinion, she'll get Farmer's reaction. No matter how much Farmer tries, no matter how much patience your OC Farmer has, this cheeky witch has more patience and will keep playing the game until she wins. This situation, by the way, can quickly turn from comedy to drama, with Camilla possibly even.... fall in love with the farmer? The plot developments are many.
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roguetatertot · 5 years
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I’ve been playing Stardew Valley lately, and I’ve come to romance all bachelors and bachelorettes in the game. But I can’t decide who I want to marry!!!
My initial plan was to marry Leah, but now that I’ve seen all the candidates’ 10 heart events, I’m in a quandary. I need to break it down for my sanity.
The Bachelors:
Alex
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I avoided him at first, seeing as how he was into Haley. I’m not a fan of the jock attitude, and I’m fairly sure the dude’s never read a book in his life before, but I mean.....he’s pretty damn cute. But I feel like he’s still in high school, and me being in my thirties, I feel kinda creepy if I were to choose him.
Elliot
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The fact that his hair is prettier than mine was the first turn-off. He struck me as pompous at first, up until the Moonlight Jellies came and he conveyed his dismay over how humans treat the oceans poorly. I was like “OKAY there’s more to him than his hair.” The fact that he’s a writer actually turned me off, but his dedication to his craft is commendable. He’s studious, and hey, he can play piano! Not only that, but the dude actually fixed up a rowboat just to take me out on an ocean date! That’s more than any real man has ever done for me lol
Dr Harvey
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SWIPE LEFT ON THAT MUSTACHE. But swipe right on his sweet and caring nature. He’s got his shit together, being a doctor and having his aircraft hobbies. He’s a little dorky, and despite his fear of heights, he hitched up his pants and took me out on a hot air balloon ride (which is something I’ve always wanted to do IRL). But I just can’t get past his sprite!! I really don’t like the way it looks. I mean....LOOK AT IT.
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Sam
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I can’t say that I’m too into the Super Saiyan look. 15-year-old me would’ve loved the Vash-the-Stampede-esque hair, but 34-year-old me doesn’t exactly dig the skateboarding, “I’m in a band”, still-living-with-my-parents-and-kid-brother vibe. The dude had me sneak in through his window and hide in his bed when his mother came into the room for Yoba’s sake! I’m looking for a spouse, not a manchild!
Sebastian
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Oh dear, where do I begin with him. He is an enigma to me. I’m a little too old for his woe-is-me-the-world-sucks bullshit, but I’ll be damned if I don’t find him attractive. I think it’s because he reminds me of Cloud Strife....if Cloud Strife smoked and lived in his mother’s basement, sleeping in until noon. He was actually the last one I maxed out to ten hearts because he was always holed up in his bedroom on the computer all day! I was like GET A JOB.....but come to find out he was actually freelancing that whole time....haha
Shane
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Shane....oh Shane......sigh. He and I got off on the wrong foot immediately. It was his birthday, and I ran into him in the saloon, chugging away next to the fireplace. I had a can of Jojo soda in my inventory, so I gifted that to him, thinking HEY THIS DUDE LOOKS THIRSTY BY THE WAY HE’S GUZZLING THAT BEER. Boy was I wroooong. He hated me for giving him “trash” on his birthday. So after getting to know him, I had a soft spot in my heart for this suicidal alcoholic. But.....I’m not here to be anyone’s keeper, or to fix anyone. He’s getting his shit together slowly, sure, but I’m not so certain he’s husband material. HOWEVER. Look how freaking cute he is with his chicken, Charlie.
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The Bachelorettes:
Abigail
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She was the first person I asked to dance with at the Flower Dance festival, but of course she said no since I had no friendship built up with her. But as I got to know her, I really started to dislike her. Much like Alex and Sam, she strikes me as being in her early teens with her behavior and childish attitude towards her parents so that makes me want to stay far faaaar away from her as a marriage candidate. 
Emily
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I found it especially hilarious that during the Stardew Valley fair, she remarks that she always thought she’d make a good clown, because she sure looks like one to me. I don’t know what it is about her....maybe the pale skin and the red lips with blue hair....but she looks ridiculous to me. I like her carefree disposition, and the camping date we went on was adorable....yet I just can’t get past her design.
Haley
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Beneath that pretty girl vapid exterior lies.....a pretty girl vapid interior. While the photography date with her was cute, I just don’t find substance in her at all. I was hoping for more with her character development by the time we reached 10 stars. I was very disappointed. I do appreciate her passion for photography, though.
Leah
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Ah yes, my girl Leah. She has her shit together more than any other NPC I feel. Here was a woman who lived in a big city with her significant other, but decided to break up due to conflicting goals. She made her way to Stardew Valley, bought her own cottage, and pursued her dream of becoming an artist even though she has trouble paying her bills sometimes. She’s self-sufficient, mature, resourceful, and a go-getter. She is spouse material in my mind. I would totally date her IRL if I could. Plus, she’s a redhead which is an absolute turn-on for me.
Maru
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I have tried so hard to like Maru, but much like Abigail, she strikes me as being in her teens or early twenties or something. I feel like a creeper considering her as a marriage candidate. I love her zany ideas and her dedication, but she’s too childlike for my comfort.
Penny
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Another gorgeous redhead. I’m so conflicted with Ms Penny, because I want to whisk her away from her alcoholic mother and bad home life, and treat her like a queen on my farm, but I can’t shake the feeling that she would be marrying me for all the wrong reasons. There were a few bits of her dialogue here and there that struck me as desperate. Of course I don’t blame her and I think she would make a wonderful wife, but I feel like she should grow as an individual and make her own way in life before becoming anyone’s housewife. I’d hate to see her go from being her mother’s slave, to being tied down with more of the same domesticity. But I mean, if that’s what she truly wants, then who am I to stop her? 
.......YES I REALIZE SHE’S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. 
I feel like I’ve helped to narrow down my choice through this break down analysis: Bachelors: Harvey or Shane Bachelorettes: Leah or Penny
I find it funny that both Harvey and Leah seem the most put together and stable, while Shane and Penny are sympathy cases/”fixer-uppers.” I think it reflects my current real state of being 34 and tired of dealing with people’s bullshit, of wanting to find someone who’s capable and steady, while also wanting to be that way myself. Then there’s a part of me that I can’t ignore...the truth that I AM a sympathy case currently, but despite that, I also have a sense of wanting to help others as I’ve been helped in my life thus far. 
Who knew this silly little game could be this telling of my own nature? 
.....epiphany aside, I still NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE.
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