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dancing-with-the-madmen · 2 years

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The Art of Buggery, redux

Strap in, my very dears. We’re getting cheeky today. All of this has been a mere preamble to what I really want to talk about: the “you wear fine things well” almost-kiss and what follows after. I know it’s Word of God that Stede is unwittingly and unintentionally seducing Ed, and I've seen others talking about how confused Ed must be about all of Stede's mixed signals. I’m not convinced Stede is so guileless as all that. In fact, I think he’s thirsty af, and I have receipts.

So let's set the stage prior to the Moment. We’ve had a very full day for the boys, and watch them making good on their bargain to show one another their respective worlds. Ed takes Stede on a proper raid, and while they’re there, Stede avails himself of the captain’s dining service to teach Ed about the pageantry of dining. Then the French captain has to open his vile mouth and spit poison into Ed’s heart. Even after Ed’s initial fight-response reaction, the sting stays with him, sending him into an emotional flashback,

His mother shows him the scrap of silk she stole - tells him that it’s God’s will that some people should have fine things like this, and some (them) shouldn’t. But is it not by the grace of God that she didn’t get caught taking it? So she could bring it home and give it to Ed? Doesn’t that mean that God WANTS Ed to have nice things like this? Doesn’t that mean he’s just as good as those fancy people on the estate? Then Frenchie shows up. He’s got an invitation! To a fancy party for hoity-toity people! And Ed immediately lights up. He’s anxious to put all of Stede’s posh lessons to the test, but even more, he’s emotionally raw from the French captain’s insult and desperate to prove him wrong and fulfill the promise of his mother’s scrap of silk. This is Ed’s Cinderella moment. They pull the big guns out of Stede’s closet and dress Ed in purple velvet and satin like a Phoenician prince with enough thread-of-gold embroidery and sequins to ransom a small island nation, the frothiest of impeccable white Mechlin lace, flowers in his hair and bows in his beard.

And then it all goes to shit. Cinderfella’s metaphorical gown turns back to rags right in front of all of those fine people and they laugh him out of the party. Turns out he never belonged after all, doesn’t it? But wait! Here’s Abshir and Frenchie to unveil all the shameful secrets the hoi-polloi conceal beneath their finery and painted faces. And here’s Stede to work with them and hold his fellow fancy folk to account. Embezzlement and piracy are just two fancy words for stealing. Doesn’t that mean these hoity-toity people are no better than Ed? Maybe he’s even better in some ways? At least Ed isn’t fucking his sister.

But still the poison is under his skin, and he toys with his silk when back on the deck of the Revenge. Does he not belong with “those kind of people”? Does he not deserve fine things? And then there’s Stede. Telling him “I think you’re very sophisticated.” Telling him his tatty old scrap of silk is lovely, and “sometimes old things are the best,” gently pulling the silk from between his fingers, the tactile sensation as it slides across his fingertips soft and sweet as a lover's sigh. Closing the distance between them to tuck the silk over his strangely pounding heart. Telling him “You wear fine things well,” and giving him a smile so warm and sincere Ed feels himself melting into it. Maybe Stede is the fulfillment of the promise of his mother’s silk. Maybe Stede is the nice thing that he can have. He leans in.

Allow me a small digression as I unlock personal backstory for strangers on the internet. When I was a freshman in college, I went with some friends to a winter dance. As the music was truly awful, we spent most the night chatting amongst ourselves in a corner of the vestibule, but at one point, I broke away from the group to go get myself some punch at the table across the room. It was at this point that an unknown person grabbed my arm and dragged me beneath one of the arches that led to the dance floor. Reader, my brain froze. He stood before me and pointed up, which I robotically followed with my eyes. I noted that there was something hanging above our heads, but my frozen brain refused to decipher what it was. I looked back down, and he walked away. All of this took maybe 5 seconds, but it wasn’t until he was gone that my brain unfroze and I realized, “Oh. That was mistletoe.” Reader, I submit that this?

Is “Someone wants. To kiss? Me??? Does not compute. Unrealistic. Computer, end simulation” brain-freeze face. Raised eyebrows, and jaw slack in surprise, not leaning in, but more importantly, NOT leaning away. In the stress of an unfamiliar situation (someone expressing desire for him, when everyone, his whole life through, has made it clear that nothing could possibly compensate for his many and storied deficiencies), Stede’s traitor brain opts for the Freeze coping mechanism that it turns to so frequently and RUINS EVERYTHING.

And this?

5 seconds later, lips pressed together but not turned down, eyes soft and averted from where he’s going as though focused inward? That’s introspection face. This is his “Oh. That was mistletoe” moment.

And then he turns back! If he really was an “unwitting seducer,” oblivious to the vibe, why would he turn back? If it was the writer’s intention to convey that dynamic, it would more likely go something like: Stede blithely bumbles off to his cabin with a smile on his face, secure in the knowledge that, in spite of a rough patch, the night has turned out just fine, and he made his best bro Ed happy; focus shifts over his shoulder to Ed looking back at him from across the deck, longing painted plainly on his face. The fact that he looks back TOO implicitly signals that the pining is MUTUAL. This is Stede going “”Wait - that was a Moment! Maybe I can still…? No. It’s over. Fuuuuuuuu….”

Which leads us directly into the Art of F**kery. Arguably? The horniest episode, with its surfeit of blades and masts and tentacles and insert your metaphor for penises here (no, a little to the left). A few quick tableaus overlaid with Izzy’s aggrieved narration and then we get to the first extended scene: swordplay between Stede and Ed. And, yes, “Advanced trick of the trade,” and “Stab me” and “How does one get it out?” and Izzy’s gay panic freak out about what he assumes he overhears, and all that ripe, delicious innuendo, but I want to focus on one very small moment that comes before all that. Ed’s parry throws Stede off his balance, finding Stede bent over a cannon, and Ed swiftly pivots before swatting Stede on his ass with the flat of his blade to which Stede exclaims:

It’s a very deliberate choice of curse word in a show replete with fucks and shits, and liberally peppered with all manner of other invectives. Bugger is, by comparison, to a modern viewer's ears, a bit of a silly, old-fashioned kind of swear, which has lost much of its original weight of meaning, to the point where it would not be out of place in a children’s movie, out of the mouths of children (e.g. - “Bludgers. Nasty little buggers.” says Oliver Wood in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 2002). And, interestingly, it’s only employed three times in the whole of the first season of the show, twice in this episode, both times by Stede.

The first time, obviously, is during the sword fight as described above. I don’t think it’s a mistake that Ed swats Stede across the ass with his metaphorical penis and Stede’s mind jumps to “Bugger!” He missed his moment in the moonlight, dammit, and in the meantime, he and Ed have only been spending more time together and growing closer, and yet, still not as close as he so very desperately wants. Later, Frenchie is sent to collect Ed in advance of the fuckery. “So Captain figures that this will be the best view for you when they come aboard,” he says. And where is “this”? The nook where Stede’s bed is built into the wall. Stede thinks the best place for Ed to experience the fuckery is in his bed with the opaque draperies drawn. I mean to say, really. Abandon all subtlety ye who enter here.

Stede joins him after the preliminary scene on the deck, and this is where we get the second instance of “Bugger.”

He’s referring to Lucius who has just cut off his engorged member finger and spurted across the faces of the unsuspecting Dutch. And yes, Lucius is the most unapologetic and (bravely) openly gay member of the crew, so the terminology is apt, but still. Stede has sectioned himself off from the rest of the crew with Ed mere inches from his bed, and what term springs to his thirsty, thirsty lips? Bugger.

But what clinches the intentionality of the use of the word bugger for me is this asshole:

Stede’s word out of this scoundrel’s mouth, but now it has teeth. Now it’s unavoidably, unquestionably given the weight of its original meaning. And in doing so, it recontextualizes the times when Stede was using it earlier.

Just before Jack drops this bugger bomb into Stede’s psyche, he asks Stede what’s going on between him and Ed. Stede’s face is solemn, almost sullen; his brows are drawn, eyes downcast. Then Jack asks if they’re buggering one another, and Stede’s eyes FLY open. Remember, he’s not a delicate flower who fusses about cursing, and this is a word he’s used himself, so it’s not the shock of hearing naughty language. He knows and loves his crew, so doubtless he has at least some idea what goes on below decks, so I doubt this is shock about the implications of male relations. No, I think this is the surprised face of a man who has had his secrets laid bare. And by this guy? THIS guy? This loud, vulgar lout has somehow READ his MIND and just put his deepest desire out there so casually? HOW did he KNOW? Stede has been SO. CHILL!

And, tellingly, Stede doesn’t say no. He doesn’t get nervous or insist that “it’s not like that” or “we’re just friends” or any of the no homo safewords we’ve come to expect from countless queerbaiting shows in the past. What he says is “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” in a light, offhanded way, which is rich, white dude for “I am not going to talk about this with YOU.” And when Jack tries to bait him with implications about his sexual history with Ed, Stede says “Ed’s past is Ed’s business, and I respect that.” He clearly has no problem with Ed being intimate with other men.

His problem is believing Ed could ever want that with HIM.

Yes, they had that Moment in the moonlight, but Ed had quite a lot of champagne at the party, and was emotionally vulnerable, and Stede was just being SO SLUTTY and OBVIOUS, wasn’t he, and Ed pulled himself back anyway, didn’t he? And Ed has credibly threatened to kill Stede TWICE since then (pulling a gun on him when Stede was reluctant to run him through, and then the whole confession in the bathtub). And so what if he’s flirty with Stede? He’s just a flirty guy. I mean, the others didn’t see him at the party, so full of esprit, so charming, that even brother-fucker Antoinette said he could finger her dents any time like an absolute TROLLOP.

Consider the scary story Stede tells the crew the night before Ed shows them how to stage a fuckery. What does he find scary? What’s his greatest fear? A weird, old guy who no one likes, and no one wants to kiss.

(my sweet baby boy. Please stop telling on yourself. Also, can we please take a moment to appreciate the HARD side-eye Lucius is giving Ed here? Epic.)

So it’s not that Stede is an unwitting seducer, or even that he’s the king of mixed signals. It’s devastatingly low self esteem come to ruin the day once more. He wants Ed SO BADLY, that it’s spurting out of him in ways he can’t control, and is apparently obvious even to the most casual observer, But a gentleman doesn’t press his suit unwanted. And who could possibly want a weak, soft-bellied, yellow, craven, weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy like him?

#ofmd #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #I maybe identify a little too much with Stede...

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abihasablog · 2 years

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The Anne's Revenge, chapter 5

Fandom - OFMD.

Also on Ao3.

Characters - Gentlebeard

Chapters; 1, 2, 3, 4

Summary - The morning after Ed and Stede scene.

This chapter is explicitly NSFW.

Words - 4981

When Stede woke up the next morning, it was to a hot cup of tea and a plate of fruit and pastries on his bedside table. He frowned at it, wondering how the hell he managed to plate himself up breakfast while fast asleep.

He picked up his phone from where it was charging and looked at the time; 8:40am. Later than he would usually sleep in on a Saturday, he must have had a late one last night…

“Oh!” Stede jumped out of bed and rushed to the landing, listening downstairs for any sign of life.

Ed’s face appeared from the bottom of the stairs, and his heart skipped a beat.

“The point of breakfast in bed is you stay in bed to eat it, in case you didn’t know.” Ed grinned up at him cockily.

“Ed! You’re here!” Stede darted down the stairs and fell into Ed’s waiting arms, too fast for him to feel embarrassed. “I thought you’d have left by now!”

“I’m guessing from the hug that my being here is a good thing?" Ed asked. “You were a little out of it when you asked me to stay.”

“I did?” Stede cringed at his own eagerness. Last night after Ed dropped him home was a bit of a blur, caused entirely by his own tiredness and that strange, blissed out feeling that had taken over his body. Now that he thought about it, he could remember Ed walking him to his door, Ed offering to help him up the stairs as his legs were well on their way to being useless. The fumble of trying to get his clothes off and get his limbs into his pyjamas… and… oh.

“Oh my God,” Stede hid his face in his hands, absolutely mortified. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to - to force you to stay!”

“Ed, Ed, stay with me tonight?”

“Nah, you were a real Gentleman about it, mate.” Ed shrugged. “Besides, I wouldn’t have stayed if I didn’t want to.”

“Is that normal Stede talking? Or is it my worn out little treasure?” Ed had asked softly. “I don’t want to stay unless you really mean it.”

“It’s me talking, Ed. Please stay, I want you to.”

“Alright, love. Let’s get you tucked in.”

“Promise me you stayed because you wanted to, not just because I was… like that?”

“Stede, I stayed because we both wanted me to stay.” Ed pressed a kiss to his forehead, and Stede melted. “Right, you. Back upstairs into bed, get that breakfast down you, then we can talk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Stede smiled, feeling a little better. Ed wouldn’t lie to him about wanting to stay. He trotted up the stairs and hopped back into bed and watched as Ed slid in next to him, devoid of his leathers, wearing a pair of Stede’s pyjamas.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Ed raised an eyebrow. Stede looked him up and down with wide eyes, taking in the vision that was Ed in his clothes. How had he not noticed that downstairs? Ed followed his gaze, and blushed a little. Ed’s blush was incredible. Stede wanted it tattooed. “You told me to grab something from the wardrobe, so I did… is this okay? I can put my clothes back on.”

“No!” Stede shook his head frantically. “No, you - you look… sophisticated.”

“Sophisticated, eh? Doesn’t sound like me,” Ed grinned. “I think that’s ninety percent the pyjamas, mate.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Stede said, confident in his words. “I think you're very sophisticated."

Ed dipped his head and smiled up at him, leaning in and pressing the softest of kisses to Stede's lips.

"You’re just the sweetest thing," Ed whispered. Stede grinned into the kiss. "Hmm, stop distracting me. I want to see you eat the lovely breakfast I made you."

"It does look lovely!" Stede reluctantly pulled away to pull the plate onto his lap. He offered the plate up for Ed, who grinned and took a Danish for himself.

They ate in comfortable silence until the tray was empty, and Stede settled back against the pillows with a content sigh.

“So, yesterday…” Stede started, a little unsure. "I uh, I'm not sure what to say other than it was incredible."

"That's good to know," Ed chuckled. "I really enjoyed taking you apart like that, hearing you ask for permission so sweetly. You're a natural at this, you really are."

"Oh, well. That's kind of you to say." Stede disguised his blush behind a large sip of tea. "You're very, uhm - gifted."

"That's me," Ed grinned, looking like he knew exactly what his words were doing to him. Bastard.

"You must have had a lot of practice, working at the club." Stede said, a little awkwardly. The thought of Ed sceneing with anyone else made an uncomfortable feeling of jealousy sit in the pit of his stomach. "You and Izzy seem to be close."

"Hmm," Ed looked at him and Stede squirms a little. "Izzy and I are good mates yeah, but we haven't done a scene together since we first started out. Different styles, you know? I like the softer side of it all, if you hadn't guessed."

"I noticed," Stede offers a shy little smile. Then he braved the question that had been lurking in the back of his mind. "Do you… do you have any… regulars?"

An image flashed through Stede's brain, a better looking, more experienced man than him stretched out under Ed, being tended to in the same gentle way Ed had him. Ed kissing him and praising him, calling him sweetheart. Stede looked down at his hands.

"Stede," Ed's fingers trailed along his cheek and tucked a golden lock of hair behind his ear. "In my line of work there's the occasional scene with others, sure. But me personally? I haven't taken a sub in a long time."

"You haven't?" Stede asked quietly.

"Nope. I had no interest in it. It was a lot of the same, you know? But then I saw someone new in the club, dressed up all pretty and looking like a lost little lamb. I had to investigate, you know?"

Stede had grown progressively more pink as Ed carried on, shying back into the pillows.

"So I invited him to chat, told him a little about softer play, and the way he just lit up when I mentioned tickling just hit me right in the chest. It'd been so long since anyone had shown such enthusiasm." Ed traced his fingertip around the shell of his ear. "Then he asked me on a date of all things, and it turned out to be the most fun I've had in ages. He's also really fucking good looking."

"Ed," Stede hid his face in his hands - or tried to, before Ed caught them and kissed them.

"Do you wanna maybe get lunch together later, sweetpea?"

"Lunch? Like a lunch date?"

"Yeah, a lunch date." Ed grinned.

There were fireworks going off inside Stede's chest, that was the only explanation for how he felt. He couldn't make his mouth work to articulate how much he desperately wanted to go on a lunch date with Ed, and a dinner date, and spend every meal with him thereafter. So instead, he once again launched himself into Ed's arms and buried his face in his neck with a mad giggle.

"Taking that as a yes?" Ed said, voice muffled by Stede's hair. Stede nodded frantically, climbing into Ed's lap and wrapping his limbs around him.

Ed leant back against the headboard and cradled Stede in his arms, stroking his hands languidly across his back. Stede gasped as Ed bit softly at his bottom lip and felt the familiar heat of arousal build in his gut.

"Ed," he whispered. "May I touch you?"

"Hmm, gotta be more specific," Ed tilted his head to the side and gave Stede a cocky smile, all teeth and tongue. "Where d'you wanna touch me, sweetheart?"

"Your chest," Stede tugged loosely at the lapels of Ed's borrowed pyjamas. "And… your cock. If you don't mind."

"If I don't mind," Ed repeats with a grin. "Yes, love, touch my chest and my cock. Wanna feel your hands on me."

Stede licked his lips and made a show of undoing Ed's buttons slowly, revealing the strong, lightly dusted chest that he'd been too lust addled to fully appreciate last night. Stede ran his hands gently down his pecs and gave them a light squeeze, feeling his cock start to harden at Ed's breathy moan. He continued letting his hands drift downwards until they rested at his waistline, stroking teasing fingers along the pudge of his belly and grinning when Ed twitched.

"Oh, what's this?" Stede teased in an imitation of Ed's voice. "Ticklish?"

"Just know if you try it, there will be consequences," Ed said with a mock sternness that made Stede giggle.

"Consequences huh?" Stede wiggled his fingertips into the skin and watched in delight as Ed flopped back against the pillows and laughed freely, not trying even for flourish to push him away. Stede braved letting his hands fall to Ed's hips, though they remained for only a second. Stede laughed in delight as Ed's hands grabbed at his wrists with one hand and held them out the way. His other hand dug into Stede's side mercilessly. Ed laughed as Stede squealed and tried to launch himself off his lap.

"Consequences!" Ed reiterated with several pinches across his belly. Stede exploded into giggles and fell forward against Ed's chest.

"I'm sorry!" He squealed as Ed released his hands and instead grabbed his bottom and squeezed.

"I warned you, little menace," Ed grinned at him smugly. "Maybe I should have listened when you said you could be a brat."

"Maybe you should've!" Stede bucked and giggled as Ed's hands slid up to his hips.

"Sorry, sorry," Ed grinned, clearly not sorry at all. "I'll let you get back to touching me, shall I?"

"I'll endeavour to not tickle on purpose," Stede gave a nip to Ed's bottom lip.

He resumed his exploration of Ed's chest, his touch firmer as he took stock of every inch of skin available to him. He swallowed his nerves and took Ed's nipples in his fingers and squeezed every so slightly, and was rewarded for his courage with a deep moan.

"Fuck, that's good, sweetheart…" Ed arched into the touch, eyes falling closed. "Love having my tits played with, fuck."

"I'll remember that," Stede teased. He pulled away and shuffled back a little. "Lay down?"

Ed did as he was told, shrugging his shirt off as he did. Stede laid down against Ed's chest and kissed him. Stede could live and die a happy man if he could kiss Ed like this every day, soft and sweet, hands tangled in each other's hair. They kissed for minutes, completely lost in each other, before Stede blinked himself back to awareness and sat back up. Ed watched him go through lidded eyes. Stede raised himself up on his knees just enough to see Ed's half hard cock through his pyjamas, and tentatively ran a hand down the tented fabric. Ed hissed and clenched his thighs.

"Is this good?" Stede asked, a little worried he was doing it all wrong. "I've never done this before."

"Your instincts are impeccable, love, as usual - ohhhhh, fuck -" Ed gasped as Stede repeated the action, this time gripping him softly through the fabric. Stede's chest puffed with pride. Emboldened by the praise, he levelled Ed with his best doe eyes.

"May I take your cock out, sir?" Stede asked coyly, and Ed's eyes darkened.

"You absolute-" Ed grabbed him by the collar and tugged him down, both laughing giddily as Ed kissed him. "Who the hell's been filling your head with such filth, hmm?"

"Oh, just this biker looking sort of fellow," Stede grinned as Ed growled and kissed him again. "You haven't answered me!"

"Yeah, fuck, go on. Take my cock out."

Stede obeyed with a breathy little laugh, tugging Ed's trousers down and off so he lay completely naked.

Oh, he was glorious.

Stede tentatively took Ed in hand and stroked him.

"Is this alright?"

"Yeah, that's perfect love. Tell you what, spit in your hand and get it nice and wet. Yeah, that's it, fuck-"

Stede swallowed thickly at deep groans of pleasure Ed was making. His own cock stood half hard in his trousers, purely from touching Ed, from kissing him.

"Hold just a little tighter, that's it, just like that, oh fuck that's so good!" Ed's hands gripped at Stede's thighs as he threw his head back and groaned. "Fucking hell, not gonna last."

"Do you need my permission?" Stede asked just to hear Ed laugh.

"Brat," he grinned. "If you like, use your other hand and cup my balls a little. Nice and soft, there we go, oh fuck, Stede, sweetheart, fuck!"

Stede kept a steady rhythm, following Ed’s gasped instructions like he was born for it. Maybe he was.

Fuck, he hoped he was.

Ed grunted as he thrusted up into Stede's hand. "Fuck me, don't wanna hold out, gonna cum, fuck, fuck, ah, Stede!"

"Ed," Stede gasped, hand working over Ed's cock over and over until Ed tensed and spilled with a guttural moan.

"Don't stop yet," Ed choked out as he rode the waves of his orgasm. "Just a little more, ah! Fuck!"

He grabbed Stede's hand and rolled them, laughing giddily as Stede landed under him with an "ooph!"

"You beautiful man," Ed gazed down at him with wide eyes. "You're telling me that was the first time you've ever wanked someone off?"

"Yes?" Stede squirmed under Ed's gaze.

"Fucking hell, I haven't finished that quick in fucking ages," Ed groaned. "Right, fuck. Gimme a sec."

"Ed?" Stede asked quietly, a little lost on what was happening. Ed hummed and kissed him again.

"I’m here, sweetheart. Just need to catch my breath before we do anything else. You were magnificent."

Stede blushed. "Really, it was nothing."

"Don't you start being modest," Ed said. He pushed himself up to sit on Stede's hips, mindful not to touch his still very hard cock. "Positive feedback is a good thing, love. It lets us know what we're doing right. The way you teased me like that? Fuck that really got me going."

"Yeah?" Stede smiled a little despite himself. "I liked that you were telling me what to do. I like that every time you do it."

"Let's discuss that when we're both fully clothed, hmm?" Ed traced a hand down Stede's chest. "Did you like tickling me?"

Sted’s insides twisted at the word. It must have shown on his face, because Ed tutted and hushed his spluttering with a kiss, taking his face between his hands. "Talking about tickling makes you go all funny, huh?"

Stede nodded, willing the heat in his cheeks to go away.

"That's alright. Nod or shake your head, for me?"

Stede nodded. He had very much enjoyed tickling Ed, seeing him laugh so freely, teasing him and getting tickled in return. It was fun! Stede had no idea that sex could be anything but duty before he'd met Ed.

"Good boy," Ed praised him gently. "You've been so good to me this morning, would you like me to return the favour, hmm?"

"Uhh, yes, please," Stede's hands flew to his buttons and started to undo them with shaky hands. Ed caught them and Stede blinked in surprise.

"You don't sound so sure, sweetheart."

Stede swallowed thickly, feeling all of a sudden very exposed in a way that had nothing to do with his bare skin.

“Colour, Stede?”

"Yellow," he whispered, before he could think about it, and Ed slid off him immediately, though didn't let go of his hands. "Sorry, sorry-"

"Hey, we don't apologise for using our words." Ed pressed a kiss to his knuckles "Talk to me, sweetheart."

"I… I don’t know what’s wrong.” Stede admitted quietly. “I don’t really want to get off right now, I guess?”

“Well that’s okay!” Ed reassured him. “There doesn’t need to be a reason to slow down, or stop, other than that you want to. We can stop.”

“No, no I don’t want to stop, I just felt a little… exposed.” Stede’s eyes wracked over Ed’s very naked body. “Sorry. I know that’s stupid.”

“What did I just say about apologising for using our words?”

“... Don’t?”

“That’s the one. Your feelings are never, ever stupid. Can you say that for me, Stede?”

Stede flushed pink and tried to stifle his shy little smile. “My feelings are never, ever stupid.”

“There’s a good lad!” Ed’s easily given praise settled warmly in Stede’s chest, and he giggled a little, despite himself. “I’m thinking maybe we can slow down for a while, hmm?”

Stede thought about it for a moment. Then he nodded, feeling a little ashamed, but Ed only smiled and pulled him in for a tight cuddle.

“Saying no can be a bit daunting sometimes, I know. I’m so proud of you for using your words.”

Stede hummed against Ed's chest, snuggling into his warmth.

"Ed?"

"Yes, angel?"

"Could we maybe do something together this morning? Before lunch?" Stede's hands fisted in his trousers nervously. "Unless you want to go home and change, I completely understand!"

"I may make use of your shower and beg some of your clothes to borrow, but I'd like to stay." Ed traced his thumbs over Stede"s cheeks. "I like taking care of you."

"I like you," Stede said, slightly without thinking, and cringed at himself. Ed didn't laugh at him though, only drew him in for another kiss.

"I like you, too." He whispered. "What say you we get washed and into some comfy clothes, then maybe cuddle up on your insanely large sofa?"

"I would love that," Stede nodded, a dopey smile taking over his face. "Uhm… maybe a shower first."

"Oof, good shout. Mind if I get in on that?" Ed gestured to where the aftermath of Stede's first time ever giving a handjob sat drying on his belly.

"Of course you must! I'm afraid I only have one shower, though. I sacrificed the guest bathroom for more wardrobe space when I moved in…" Stede stood on slightly shaky legs. "You go first, I insist on it."

Ed stood, not at all bothered by his own nakedness. Stede was equally unbothered, and in fact felt as though Ed wearing clothes should be a criminal offence.

“I’ll be quick,” Ed pecked him on the cheek and slid out the room to the bathroom across the hallway.

Stede wondered about it briefly before remembering that ah, right. Ed had spent the night, of course he knew where things were. Stede busied himself stripping the bed of the dirty sheets and fetching fresh one’s from the hall cupboard as he heard the shower run. A nice Egyptian cotton, sinfully soft on the skin. He then set about picking an outfit for himself and one for Ed, too, trying his hardest to create an ensemble that Ed would appreciate. He was agonising over two pairs of socks when slightly damp arms wrapped around his waist and warm lips pressed against his neck. He shuddered and leant back into the touch.

“You look like you’re in the middle of a moral dilemma,” Ed observed the slight chaos that had been created in Stede’s walk-in wardrobe.

“Ah, yes. I’m trying to pick a pair of socks.” Stede hummed, holding the two potential pairs for Ed to look at. “For you, for today.”

“Hmm,” Ed lifted a hand away from Stede to feel each of them in turn. “Both feel super soft. Which one’s the longer pair? I don’t like socks that are too short, they feel weird under my boots.”

“Of course!” Stede didn’t have to check, knowing that the pair in his left hand were several inches longer on the leg. He put them on the pile of clothes he had assembled for Ed, and spun out of his hold. “These are for you, I hope you like them. I’d understand if not, and you are of course welcome to wear anything from here but I thought these trousers would go well with your boots and this shirt with your jacket.”

Ed smiled against his neck and nodded.

"Looks perfect, love. You go get yourself showered and I'll make myself all pretty."

"You're already pretty," Stede assured him with the utmost confidence.

When they were both clean and dressed, Ed led them to Stede's sofa and flopped down against the arm, sighing as he kicked his feet up on the seat.

"Comfy?" Stede teased. Ed smirked up at him. He threw an arm behind his head and stretched out like a cat, looking right at home in Stede’s flat. In Stede’s clothes. He held out his free hand and crooked his finger.

Stede perched on top of Ed's hips and gazed down at him softly, eyes trailing across his hardened features. The shirt he had chosen for him was one of his raunchier ones, an impulse purchase fuelled by Lucius's influence. He’d never worn it, but it looked like it was made for Ed. It had a deep neckline that showed off Ed's muscular chest, and rode up a little around his waist. Stede eyed the sliver of skin hungrily. Ed's hands roamed up his thighs and sat still at the juncture of his hips, playfully threatening.

"Steeeede," Ed grinned. "What are you up to?"

"Nooothing!" Stede matched his expression slyly.

"I was under the impression that we were going to have a nice relaxing morning together, but you have those eyes that cats get when they're about to be dicks."

"Do I?" Stede teased, flexing his fingers a little where they rested on his knees. "I'm just getting ready for a nice relaxing morning, as you say."

"Oh yeah?" Ed's hands tightened into a squeeze and Stede gasped. "Because I think you're about to be suitably bratty."

"Bratty? Me?" Stede touched a hand to his chest.

"Yes, you." Ed squeezed his thighs again and Stede couldn't help his peel of laughter, hands instinctively moving to grab at Ed's wrists. "A giggly little brat!"

"Ehehehed!" Stede was quick to retaliate, pushing his hands up into Ed's shirt and wriggling his fingers into his ribs. Ed gasped and writhed under him, not quite laughing, and even Stede's giggle addled brain he knew that was unacceptable. He changed tactics, leaning back and scratching across his lower belly. That did it.

Ed's laugh was beautiful. A gorgeous high pitched giggle that scrunched up his whole face. Stede drank it greedily, trying desperately to keep his eyes open and focused even as Ed doubled down on his attack. Ed’s hands were getting weaker as his laughter grew stronger, and Stede moved impressively fast to catch Ed"s hands in his own and pin them above his head. They stared at each other with the widest, beaming grins, both panting.

"I win!" Stede declared smugly. Ed gave a loud defeated sigh and sagged into the sofa cushions.

"Defeated at my own game.”

“Lucius tells me that as long as you look good you never lose,” Stede patted Ed’s cheek consolingly. “That makes you a winner to me.”

"That makes us both winners," Ed said. He tugged a little at Stede's grip on his wrists. "You gonna let me go, brat?"

Stede pretended to think about it.

"I suppose."

He released Ed's wrists and shuffled back to let him sit up. Ed tugged his shirt back down with a huff.

"You're really good at that," Ed said. Stede shrugged, shy.

"Maybe you're just too ticklish."

"Oh, is that right?"

"Ed!" Stede let out a giggly whine. “Stop trying to steal my victory!”

Ed relented with a grin.

"Alright, alright, I yield! For now." He held his hands up in defeat before extending them and tugging Stede down against his chest. Stede settled his cheek over Ed's heart and listened contently to its steady thrum. Ed twirled a strand of Stede's hair between two fingers softly.

"Do you want to watch a film?" Stede asked. Ed hummed softly.

"Go on, then. What's your favourite?"

"You know, now you've asked that I can't think of any films at all." Stede rested his chin on Ed's sternum to gaze up at him. "What's yours?"

"Anything with pirates."

"Pirates!" Stede's eyes widened - yes, alright. He was slightly enamoured by Ed. "I love pirates! Do you love pirates?"

"Reckon I do," Ed grinned, enthused by Stede's own enthusiasm. "Always wanted to be one when I was a boy."

"Me too!" Stede said wistfully. "Oh, I had dreams of buying a boat and sailing the seas, completely free from my old life."

"Why didn't you?"

"When Mary and I divorced I made sure she and the children had the lion's share of the money, as well as the house. It was an amicable split, we both wanted other things, but I felt it was only fair. She insisted I take enough to get me started knowing I would refuse any money from my family. It was enough to buy the bookshop and this flat and live modestly at first, but then the shop started doing really well, and then there just wasn't enough time for a sailor's life, I suppose." Stede shrugged, a little sadly. Ed seemed to think for a moment before he spoke.

"I have a boat."

Stede's spine popped with how fast he sat up.

"You have a boat?"

"Bit of a passion project, that one. An old sailing boat that was going cheap on the docks, I saved her and got her all cleaned up." Ed hooked a finger under Stede's chin. "I'll take you there, if you want."

"Ed…" Stede floundered a little bit, his brain having ceased operation. "You don't have to do that for me."

"Why not? I like you, I like my boat, so I'd very much like to get you on my boat. It's a win-win!"

"I can't…" Stede racked his brain for anything he might be able to offer Ed in return.

"Hey, Stede's brain, stop overthinking." Ed tapped a finger to Stede's forehead.

"How do you know me so well already?" Stede shook his head.

"I'm good at reading people, and I'm especially careful with anyone I'm going to scene with. I could tell as soon as we met that you're an overthinker."

"Oh, well, I suppose that's true."

"It happens, big brains like yours. Not enough room to store all those thoughts so they all happen at once." Ed grinned. "If you ever need me to help keep those thoughts at bay, you just tell me, right?"

"What will you do?" Stede asked quietly.

"I could tickle you until you can't remember your name," Ed said so casually, as if his words didn't make Stede's head turn to mush. "Or I could make you cum so hard you only remember my name. Or both."

"Both," Stede squeaked. "Both might kill me!"

"I don't know. You're quite a sturdy little thing," Ed said, genuine. Stede felt colour rise in his cheeks. "With such a pretty blush."

"Oh, stop it, you. You forget that I'm the one sitting on top, here!" Stede poked warningly at Ed's belly.

"And don't you look lovely?" Ed purred. "My lovely little brat."

"I thought I was being quite well behaved," Stede snuffed indignantly. "I could be much brattier, if you insist."

"I'd love to see it. Just provided you know that I love a challenge."

"Oh," Stede grinned slyly. "Bring it on, sir."

Not once in Stede's life had he ever had a better morning. Cuddles with Ed while Muppets Treasure Island playing on the tv, the two of them laughing and making their own silly commentary. When it came to lunch, Stede insisted he treat them. He practically skipped down the road with his arm linked with Ed's to a little cafe a few doors down from the shop.

They drank tea, ate scones, and talked about everything.

"What type of animal would you be, Ed?"

"Oof, good question. Something from the sea, maybe a giant squid?"

"Oh, good one! I'd be an otter. They hold hands when they sleep so they don't float away from their partner."

"Shit, no I changed my mind. I'm an otter too." Ed leant in to swipe a stray drop of marmalade from Stede's cheek. "I won't ever let you float away."

"Promise?" Stede asked shyly. Ed smiled.

"Pinky promise."

Then the time came for Ed to head out. He walked Stede home, and pressed him up against the side of his car to kiss him.

"Will you be at the club tonight?" Stede asked hopefully. Ed pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"Not tonight, sweetheart. Big event at the restaurant, all hands on deck. But I'll text you?"

"Yes, please do." Stede found himself mourning Ed's departure, already missing his touch, his voice. "When can I see you again?"

"Well, I have some work to do tomorrow at home." Ed crooked a finger under Stede's chin. "You could come over, keep me company?"

"Yes," Stede breathed. "I'd like that."

"Good boy," Ed's parting kiss was deep, passionate. "I'll pick you up at 10 tomorrow morning. Wear something comfortable for me, yeah?"

"I will," Stede promised. Ed smiled warmly at him, then gave him a gentle nudge towards his door, patting him on the backside as he did.

"Talk to you later, sweetpea." Ed promised as he slipped into his car.

Stede's hand rested on his backside, where Ed had touched him. He waved Ed off as he pulled away, laughing giddily as Ed blew him a kiss.

Tomorrow. He'd see him again tomorrow.

#ofmd tickling #ofmd #gentlebeard #ofmd fic

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raggedy-dxctor · 2 years

Note

I'm a fuckin slut for Izzy so thank you for taking it upon yourself to write some Izzy x reader content <333 Could I request something off the prompt list, like #15 from the fluff list, "Do you need a hug?" Maybe a little more angsty? Maybe where someone on the ship says something pretty harsh to Iz, and he kinda just blows it off with huff and runs off somewhere, and he's gone for a while, so the reader is sent to look for him, because the crew tells them that, "he likes you best anyway..." So when the reader finally finds him, he's in his room crying, and at first he tells them to fuck off or whatever, and tries to send them away, but the reader stays regardless, and comforts him, and he mf melts. SO LIKE IT JUST ENDS IN SWEET SWEET FLUFF (but maybe has a little angst in the middle??) Thank you love!

Your Izzy | Izzy Hands

pairing(s): izzy hands x gn!reader

warnings: very light angst and crying uzzy

"hey iz? you in here??" you call as you gently twist the knob pf the familiar door, the old wood creaking on its hinges as it revealed izzy's room. "f- fuck off y/n, don't you dare come any closer or i'll cut your tongue out" he threatens, his chest still heaving from tears as he attempts to cover up to slip on hos demeanour. but his tone isn't harsh or genuinely threatening, it's shaky and weak, he didn't mean his threats, he was just scared for someone to see him like this.

as he came into view, your heart wrenched. he was lying on his bed, his head tilted slughtly bsck against the bes frame as he stared out the window at the sea, which, for once, was a calm and beautiful sight.

"izzy, are you crying? look lucius didn't mean what he said, he shouldn't have said it, but he didn't-" your comforting words seemed to fall on deaf ears as he growled at you inching closer. "did i not tell you to fuck off?!" he pleads in an almost desperate tone as he rips his head away from the window, turning to the left and unexpectedly meeting your eyes, panic washing over him as you sat down on his bed next to him.

"izzy i- i'm here to help. i promise, i'm not going to tell anyone about finding you crying if that's what you're worried about" you soothed, placing a hand gently on his arm. for a moment he genuinely seems to consider letting his guard down as his eyes flick between you and your hand, before he decides against it and shoves you off, looking out the small window next to his bed again.

"what he said isn't true you know? you're a perfect first mate, ed really does value you, he's just... caught up in his feelings for stede at the moment" you reassured him once more, smiling as he glanced back at you again, this time longer as he scanned your face. "stupid fuckin' stede bonnet" he muttered, his head turning back towards to window, refusing to hold your gaze long enough for you to pick him apart.

"there's my izzy" you grin as you gently grab his chin and turn his head back towards you, your hand moving up to his cheek as you wiped the fresh tears away with your thumb. izzy just freezes, on complete overload as he reels from the shock and disbelief. one side of him is screaming to pull away and kick you out, but the other? the other is clinging to your touch, desperate for more, a kiss, a hug, a squeeze of the hand, anything!

so he gives in to the later and closes his eyes as he leans into your hand, placing his ontop of it and sighing slightly. "no this... this is your izzy" he thought as his eyes fluttered open to see you with a fond smile on your face, your finger gently stroking his cheek bone as he blushed slightly. he moved your hand down slightly and placed a gentle kiss on the palm of your hand.

as you begin to speak again he gently shushes you, shaking his head as he grabs your other hand, intertwining your fingers with his as you roll your eyes and both chuckle together. after a few moments, he timidly pats the space next to him on the other side of his bed and signals for you to join him for a bit, you smile and navigate the bed to replicate his position against the bedframe. he lies his hand, down palm up, on the small space between you and glances up to your eyes and then back down to his hand again. when you immediately reach down and knit your fingers together, squeezing his hand slightly, he literally melts right infront of you, turning to face you and holding your gaze with a soft smile.

"will you... can we stay like this? just for a bit?" he shyly asks, squeezing your hand again as he heart slams against his chest. he's met with instant relief as you chuckle and grin back. "of course we can, iz, i thought you'd never ask"

"do you need a hug?" "....it would be nice"

BONUS:

a few hours later, the crew sends frenchie to investigate where the two of you were and he just stumbles through the door to see your head lying on izzy's shoulder and his ontop of yours, your fingers intertwined with izzy's as you both peacefully slept. frenchie just gawks in disbelief and chuckles slightly, somehow missing izzy's tear stained face.

as he walks back out on deck shaking his head in disbelief with a smile on his face, the crew surrounds him pesters him for updates. he just shrugs innocently and smiles.

"they're just talking things out, y'know y/n's just helping him calm down" he replies, completely lying to their faces, but frenchie had recently become a pretty good liar and he wouldn't be revealing the secret of the new lovebirds anytime soon

#izzy hands #izzy hands x reader #our flag means death #our flag means death fanfiction #our flag means death x reader #izzy our flag means death #con o'neill

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kharti · 2 years

Text

[ In Over His Head #71 ]

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“Stede?”

Stede blinked, lifting his eyes to meet Ed’s. “Yes?”

Ed couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice as he said, “Y’ve been starin’. A lot.”

( Continue reading on AO3 or... )

“Stede?”

Stede blinked, lifting his eyes to meet Ed’s. “Yes?”

Ed couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice as he said, “Y’ve been starin’. A lot.”

Stede sputtered a couple excuses, then clasped his hands together and held them to his lips. He breathed in, held it, and out. “I am going to say something. But I want you to know that it is said with all the love in the world.”

The amusement faded a bit, replaced by concern. Ed did his best not to, but his mind formulated the words that Stede was about to say.

I hate your face without the beard.

You were more attractive before.

He just sat there and waited while Stede worked up the courage to break his heart.

Instead, Stede said in the softest voice, “You’re so pretty. Beautiful, even. I know that’s not what a man like you might want to hear, but it—it’s true, I’m sorry.”

That was why Ed tried not to think too much. He wasn’t very good at it, and this was proof of it, because he was so floored by the real words that he couldn’t even speak.

“I’m sorry,” Stede started to say, started to apologize, dropping his gaze and wringing his hands. “I knew it was stupid as soon as I—”

“No.” Ed’s voice cracked, as if his throat had frozen over and he had to break through the ice. “Don’t apologize.” He moved forward, crowding Stede against the wall, bracing his arms on either side of the man’s head so there was only the two of them and nothing else. “Say it again.”

Stede blinked a few times before he smiled and whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

Of all the things that had been said to him, good and bad and otherwise, nothing made him feel so intensely as Stede whispering that he was beautiful.

All his life, he had always craved beautiful things.

He had never, not once, thought he could be one.

Then Stede’s fingertips touched his cheeks, the skin still sensitive to touch after being buried for so long. “It takes my breath away to look at you,” he continued, his voice still just barely audible. “You were handsome before, of course. But that wasn’t you, was it? That was Blackbeard. This is… you.” He leaned in to brush their lips together in a ghost of a kiss. “I see you, Edward, and you’re beautiful.”

Ed followed his lips, forcing them back together in a proper kiss, pressing him into the wall to hold him up when he melted, as he usually did.

The sensation was so different now. He could feel all of Stede’s skin against his own, could feel the entirety of his lips, could feel everything. He did like the way his beard would leave little red marks on Stede’s sensitive, pale skin, but it was a fine trade to get to hear that velvety voice call him beautiful.

“Stede.” He pulled away to gaze into the man’s eyes, delighting in how plainly he could see the same desire he felt reflected in them. “Would you—”

“Whatever it is, yes,” Stede interrupted with a breathless laugh. “Oh, yes, please.”

Ed wasn’t sure if it was selfish to enjoy this facet of Stede, the open willingness, the full and total and unspoken consent. He also wasn’t sure if it was wrong to idly wonder where the line was drawn, what the limit was.

But he wasn’t interested in finding that out, at least not right then. They could have a discussion later.

For now, he was going to try something.

He grabbed Stede around the middle and hoisted him up, grinning at the surprised squeak it garnered from the man.

“Wrap yer legs around me,” he instructed, and when they were snug against his hips, he slid his hands down to hold Stede up by the curve of his thighs.

“This is different.” Stede’s eyes gazed directly into his own, now at the same level. “Is this how it feels to be tall?”

Ed chuckled, leaning in to kiss his neck. “Mm, I don’t think so. Bein’ tall isn’t normally so erotic.”

Stede’s head fell back to thunk against the wall. “N-No?”

“Nope.” Ed nibbled on the soft skin where his neck met his shoulder, then bit down, just enough to draw a wonderful moan out of him.

“Do you think—” Stede swallowed. “Like this, you could—”

Ed grinned, his lips curling against Stede’s skin. “That’s what I was hopin’ t’find out.”

He could feel the excited shiver that ran through Stede, their bodies so close that it felt like it was his own reaction.

But then reality set in. It was difficult to maneuver their pants out of the way, a struggle to keep balance as they tried, and ultimately his back and knees threatened to give out before they could get anywhere close to needing lubricant. Which was its own challenge, they just hadn’t gotten there yet.

Panting and a little sweaty from next to no action, they looked at one another and, with a wordless nod, came to an agreement.

Ed held onto Stede’s thighs and staggered across the room to drop him on the bed, falling down onto him, and they collapsed into a pile of wheezing laughter.

“Why’s it so fuckin’ hard,” Ed grumbled, pushing his hair out of his own face. “I just wanted t’fuck you against the wall.”

“Maybe another time, love.” Stede gave one last sighing laugh and shifted to look up at him. “That does bring me to… a topic I’d like to discuss.”

Ed arched his brow.

Stede sighed. He reached up and held Ed’s face in his hands, stroked his thumb over his cheeks. “I want you to take me.”

Ed blinked, furrowed his brow, tilted his head to the side. “Y’say that like I haven’t already.”

“You have, technically, yes, but—” The skin along his chest and neck flushed red. “I mean… take me. You seem to prefer me on top, which—which is fun, of course, but—”

“Oh.” Ed frowned, his eyes darting downward to look at where their groins were pressed together. “Well. ‘Bout that. I was told it might hurt t’take ye from above, since…”

Stede made a giggling sound and slipped one hand down to pat Ed's lower stomach. “Yes, love, you’re very big, I’m aware.”

Ed couldn’t be amused when he was filled with concern. “Years back, I tried it. Lettin’ a man take me. It fuckin’ hurt, Stede. ‘M’scared t’hurt you.”

“Well, isn’t that what all the prep and oil is for?” Stede gave the cheekiest little grin.

Ed searched his face, tried to find any reservation there, but found none. He dropped his head down to rest his forehead against Stede’s and smiled. “All right, but I’m not stickin’ it in ‘til yer beggin’, and still not ‘til after that.”

“Is that a promise or a threat?” Stede said in a quiet voice and winked.

Fucking winked.

That was Ed’s thing. He winked at Stede, and Stede was the one to blush. It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around.

But Stede had winked, and his heart skipped a beat.

“Both,” he finally replied before sliding down the bed and pressing his lips to the curve of Stede’s hip bone.

( next )

📚 view a list of all my current stories!

#our flag means death #ofmd #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ed x stede #in over his head - blackbonnet ficlets

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stardustacefics · 2 years

Text

Love Is For Peasants

Pairing: Stede/Ed

W/c: 900

“I brought marmalaaaade,” Stede sang as he ran up the stairs and sat next to Ed on the floor.

“Fuck yes,” Ed quietly cheered to himself.

Stede giggled as he placed the bread and marmalade between the two of them. “Have at it,” he said with a smile.

“I don’t understand what makes this stuff so much better than regular marmalade,” Ed said as he dipped a piece of bread into the jar. “But damn, it’s incredible.”

“It’s the finest marmalade in my hometown,” Stede said proudly. “Before I left, I bought… well, all of it,” he smirked. “As one should,” he said with a laugh. “I mean, why let it go to waste?”

“Oh, of course,” Ed said with an eyebrow raised, his mouth full of bread. “Can’t go wrong there.”

“Oh, you have a little-” Stede gestured towards his lips.

“Oh,” Ed said, wiping the corner of his lips with his thumb. “There?”

“Not quite, it’s just…” Stede reached forward and gently brushed his thumb against Ed’s lips. “…there.”

The two of them stared at each other, Stede’s thumb lingering on Ed’s lips. He could feel Ed’s breath against his fingers. He could see the reflection of the sunset sparkling in his eyes.

So, I reckon, what makes Ed happy is… you…

“Ed?” Stede whispered, sliding his hand to cup Ed’s cheek.

“Yes?” Ed whispered back.

“I… I’d really like to kiss you again.”

Ed’s hand slid up to meet the back of Stede’s, holding it gently. “Me too.”

They gazed at each other for some time, not sure which one of them was going to make the move. Small, awkward smiles grew on their faces, and they started to giggle. “We’re so stupid,” Ed laughed.

“We really are,” Stede laughed with him.

Ed looked at him affectionately, running his fingers though the curls at Stede’s nape. He leaned in and pressed a quick, gentle kiss to Stede’s lips. When their lips parted, he smiled at the way Stede’s eyes slowly opened, still relishing the kiss. As their eyes met, Stede gently slide his hand to the middle of Ed’s back and pulled him closer, kissing him once again. Their kisses were slow and gentle and hesitant, yet they both loved it, adored it. They loved learning together. They loved creating something together, right from the very beginning.

When their lips parted, they looked at each other and smiled softly. Ed was blushing, and it made Stede’s heart melt.

Ed rested his head on Stede’s shoulder and sighed. “I love this.”

Stede pressed a small, shy kiss to Ed’s lips. “Me too,” he whispered.

“You know,” Ed said. “I never knew that love could be so… easy. I mean, life is hard, but falling and being in love with you? That was the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“I feel the same,” Stede said with a smile. “I hadn’t realized it until we were apart but… yeah, yeah, I reckon you’re right.” Stede chuckled quietly. “I had never really thought of myself as a romantic person until we became close.”

“Me either,” Ed laughed. “I was just fucking Blackbeard, and now, well, it’s nice to be just Ed. Ed, who is in love with Stede.”

A light pink blush crept to the tips of Stede’s ears. “And I am in love with you,” he whispered. “Completely, unreservedly, utterly in love with you.” He brought his hand to Ed’s cheek and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “My Ed.”

Ed snuggled into the crook of Stede’s neck and looked up at him lovingly, his eyes shining. A few moments later, Ed got a more serious look in his eyes. “Oh, you’ve got something…” he pointed at Ed’s cheek.

“Oh, where? Here?”

“Riiight… here,” he said as he smeared a fingerful of marmalade across Stede’s cheek, leaving it slowly dripping down Stede’s chin.

“Ed!” Stede screeched, desperately trying to wipe the marmalade off his face. “Ed, these are my fine summer linins! I swear to god-”

“Oh relax,” Ed laughed as he sat up and pressed himself against Stede, nose-to-nose. “I wouldn’t dare do anything to your fine summer linins,” he said mockingly.

Stede rolled his eyes and scoffed, making Ed giggle even more. “Ed, I’m being completely serious.”

“Oh, so am I,” Ed said in a low, hushed voice, leaning in and licking some of the marmalade off Stede’s jaw. When he leaned back, he stared at the shocked expression on Stede’s face. “Was that too much?” he said hesitantly, biting his lower lip. “Did I take that too far?”

“No!” Stede exclaimed hurriedly. “No, not at all.” He paused for a moment, and then quickly leaned in and kissed Ed on the lips again. “I actually rather liked it,” he admitted, pressing his lips together into a thin line.

Ed looked back and forth between Stede’s eyes and the marmalade on his cheek, over and over again until he was certain. Then, he gently held the side of Stede’s neck and took another lick, enjoying the way that Stede softly sighed. After he slowly licked away all of the marmalade, he looked Stede right in the eyes and whispered, “It tastes even better like this.”

“Really?” Stede whispered breathlessly. “Well then, I’ll have to try it sometime… right?”

Ed pressed his lips together, failing to hide his smile, his eyes widening by the second. He nodded eagerly.

They looked at each other shyly for a few moments, their gazes wavering every so often, before Ed smirked and whispered, “And… did that suffice? To save your summer linins?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Stede retorted, shoving Ed as he cackled.

#fanfic #our flag means death #ed/stede #boyfriends #soft #lgbtq #fluffy #blackbonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby

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dancing-with-the-madmen · 2 years

Text

The Art of Buggery

And this?

Stede joins him after the preliminary scene on the deck, and this is where we get the second instance of “Bugger.”

But what clinches the intentionality of the use of the word bugger for me is this asshole:

His problem is believing Ed could ever want that with HIM.

(my sweet baby boy. Please stop telling on yourself. Also, can we please take a moment to appreciate the HARD side-eye Lucius is giving Ed here? Epic.)

#ofmd #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #I maybe identify a little too much with Stede...

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