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desipression · 2 years

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[Unspoken Mental Health Portion] House of Secrets: The Burari Deaths

First and foremost, RIP to the 11 members of the Burari family. So if you haven't watched "House of Secrets: the Burari Deaths" on Netflix, go watch it now. It is a very dark story and it is a graphic one. This is a murder-suicide case that hasn't been explored or spoken about too much in the desi community. To my belief, this is not a murder-suicide through malicious intent. I believe this was an accidental murder-suicide stemming from psychosis and delusions. I believe this crime could've been avoided if the correct mental health outlets were utilized. There hasn't been enough light shed on the Burari deaths pertaining to the mental health portion.

The Chundawat family had 11 members living under one household.

- Narayani Devi (80), mother of Bhuvnesh, Lalit and Pratibha - Pratibha Bhatia (57), widowed daughter of Narayani Devi - Bhuvnesh (50), elder son of Narayani Devi - Lalit (45), younger son of Narayani Devi - Savita (48), elder daughter-in-law of Narayani Devi, wife of Bhuvnesh - Tina (42), younger daughter-in-law of Narayani Devi, wife of Lalit - Priyanka (33), daughter of Pratibha - Nitu (25), elder daughter of Bhuvnesh - Monu (called "Menaka") (23), younger daughter of Bhuvnesh - Dhruv (called "Dushyant") (15), only son and youngest child of Bhuvnesh - Shivam (15), son and only child of Lalit. bullet list via: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burari_deaths

Morning of July 1, 2018, the family didn't open the store where the community bought milk. One of their daily customer's got concerned. Later discovered, 10 of the bodies were found hanging and the grandmother was strangled. This case gathered crowds around the house since incidents like this don't frequently happen. The entire community was shaken. There were many rumors about what happened but it wasn't until the investigation where dark secrets were exploited.

Clinical Hypnotherapist Anita Anand, said that this case was presented only as something bizarre. It was presented as numerology, crime, drama, etc. I think it wasn't presented as anything else because of the depths of mental health that hasn't been properly exposed to the Desi Community.

Lalith was the head of the family. In the Desi culture, it is usually the eldest man who is the breadwinner of the house and the person who gives the family rules to follow. In this case, Lalith the younger son was the head of the household. The reason Lalith took upon the role of the head of the family was because after Lalith's father passed away.. the family believed that the father was within Lalith.

Lalith had previous injuries that caused him brain damage and mental stress. His previous conditions were never managed or treated. In 1988, Lalith had a bike accident. He suffered from serious head injuries. He would fall asleep randomly. In 2004, Lalith was attacked. The attackers planned to kill him. He was locked inside a store and the store was set on fire. Lalith had PTSD from this incident and he wasn’t treated for it. The doctors encouraged him to see a psychiatrist but he didn’t. Direct quote from one of Lalith’s friends ``But people believe that only mad people go to a psychiatrist. But he was ill, he should’ve been treated” Mad is used here in the context of “mental illness”. Anita Anand exclaimed, “in psychological literature when a person has been through a fair amount of trauma, if you're not treated from the trauma, a certain level of psychosis sets in. Psychosis is the inability of the mind to deal in a rational way of what’s going on in your life. One of the direct results of psychosis is hearing voices.” Lalith lost his voice, and the psychologists believe that this was part of the psychosis. Lalith didn’t speak for 3.5 years. He would only communicate with people using a pen and paper.

There was a notebook found that had daily details of what to do and how to act addressed to the family.

"Don't read the evening prayers like a joke" "Stay away from people you have been forbidden to talk to" "Everytime you default, Lalith, Tina, and Shivam have to pay the price, but you always forget that" "It's a blessing that God is making you aware of your mistakes, starting December, there will be a year long punishment. This year will be your last."

When Lalith’s father passed away, the family would pray together. One day his voice came back during prayers and his family noticed. Later, there would be instances where Lalith would change his voice and mannerisms and act like his father. The family thought this was a spiritual calling. Lalith’s family believed it was the grandfather who was speaking to the family through Lalith. The regaining of Lalith’s voice was considered the miracle that gave the family complete submission of the belief that Lalith was the authoritative figure of the house. Whatever Lalith wrote in the book was blindly followed. The notebook gave the family good fortune so the family believed that Lalith really was the spiritual guide they needed. The psychologists believe that the trigger of Lalith’s psychosis was his niece Priyanka getting married. They believe he didn’t want her to leave the house because the family secrets would get out in the world.

This is where the notebook starts to change the things that are written. This mass-death was supposed to be a spiritual ceremony, not a mass-suicide. During the ceremony… Lalith wrote that his father was supposed to come and help them, speak to all of them, and bless them. The notebook said “everyone will help each other in untying”. Unfortunately that didn’t occur.

The reason I decided to share this story is because it is a serious case that can unfortunately happen again unless the stigma around mental health is undone and relieved. With the lack of mental health help in the Desi community, unfortunately it is actually causing weakness in the mind. Not having the help and support of the Desi community for mental health means that there is a deficiency of knowledge and emotional intellect. Shouldn’t we fix that? I want to hear your thoughts and ideas. Why is mental health such an under appreciated topic in the Desi community? How can we combat the mental health stigma in the Desi community? My opinion is that it has to start with our generation. We can’t change the way the elders have grown up, but we can change how mental health is viewed in our generation and in the future generations. Start with your own community, encourage your family and friends to go see that therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. You should go get the mental health help that you need. Condition the people who surround you that getting mental health treatment is OKAY. IT IS GOOD FOR US. We need to change the views of mental health in our Desi society.

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xiaojaan · 3 years

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#being the eldest daughter in desi household is constant loop of your mother telling deep family secrets #and you just sitting there like 👁👄👁 wtf do i do with this information now #i don't care! if my aunt's sister's daughter is adopting! i dont fucking care!#god i am so close to losing it in this house jkdfhjkslsl #into the void #ignore me im just dhcgkfjskjsdkjsdgjksfksgf

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nobodyv05 · 3 years

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someone send help im the eldest queer mentally ill daughter in a desi house who isnt allowed to have emotions

#eldest daughter syndrome #queer #Bisexual #desi #mentally ill #desi household #alone

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pocmuzings · 4 years

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hello hi , it is g , ur friendly local neighbourhood hindu indian ( as in south asian ) ! so a few people requested that i just make a guide-esque sorta thing on hindu indian characters ! im not really good at guides , so instead , these are just little things i’ve noticed or picked up on that could really potentially strengthen the next indian character u ( pretty please ! ) pick up !

disclaimer : i am writing this from my perspective and it is NOT definitive , nor do i speak on behalf of all hindu indians ! i am a 23-year-old bisexual cis female hindu indian , with one older gay brother, and a Train Wreck middle brother . my mother is from new delhi , and my father is from nairobi but has indian heritage ( not sure which part of india bc he’s an Engima ) . i have extended family in india and have visited india about 10-15 times throughout my entire life .

so firstly , im so glad u all are here and want to write more hindu indian characters ! please please do so ! i hope this helps , encourages u , and isnt too confusing !!

psa : i need everyone to know that this is a very basic ‘ guide ‘ and theres a lot it DOESNT touch on or address bc i didnt want to get too Extensive and Detailed and have people Turn off and not Read it . this is just written in the terms of hopefully helping build character / be relevant to characters a bit better that ive employed into writing my OWN hindu indian character creations ! but if u have any other questions pls reach out to me or any other indians in the rpc and im sure we’ll try our best to assist u !

FCS:

one thing i’d really like to say is that its great to see fcs like dev patel , deepika padukone and avan jogia picked up every now and then in rps , but there’s actually a LOT of other indian fcs you could be and should be using ! the main reason people don’t seem to know them is because they’re not ‘ hollywood ‘ stars per se ( it was a super big deal when pr*yanka broke out of bollywood and into bollywood but we don’t talk about her on this Blog ) . they’re usually bollywood stars and i don’t really see bollywood discussed that much in the rpc !

if you’re after MORE indian fcs , i have a tag of indian females here , and indian males here . the fcs on my blogs are also not ALL that exist . there are plenty of other blogs out there that post indian fcs , such as sonamhelps & bollymusings !!! there’s also some really great faceclaim directories out there that include a LOT of indians with resources !

unfortunately , i do not know of any trans indians or nonbinary indians but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist . indian cultures and beliefs are still quite Old School and not super progressive . india only just had it’s first wlw mainstream bollywood film released last year . lgbtqia+ issues are NOT really spoken about in india or within indian families at ALL , and if they are - they’re usually dismissed or reacted to Very Very Badly . ( again this isnt definitive and im sure and hopeful that some indians have had GREAT coming out stories and been accepted by their families but this has not been a common thing ive seen or witnessed from my cousins my age , indian friends , myself and my brother who are lgbtqia + )

FOOD :

we do eat with our hands and we eat like PROS with our hands . we can shovel it so easily and quickly . i don’t know how to describe it but you use the first three fingers of your hand to place the Food there , and then use your thumb to kinda scoop it off and into your mouth . this is NOT unhygienic because indians wash their hands very regularly and most of the time we aren’t actually touching our mouths to our hands !

indian food is MADE to be eaten with your hands for the most part . it is literally NOT practical to eat food with a knife and fork . here’s a really great article explaining things more in depth re: indian food and using our hands !

cows are seen as Very holy beings in hindu indian culture , and for that reason - there isn’t a lot of beef being eaten or consumed. sure , some indians DO eat beef but i don’t think its super common, but in my personal experience as a non-beef-eater this results in A LOT of me asking ‘ oh , sorry what sauce does that pasta come with ? ‘ ‘ oh those are beef sausages ? sorry i can’t eat them ‘ etc etc . beef is in a LOT of things , and this makes me very very careful and almost pedantic about what i do eat and ask about , food wise !

indian food is seen as stinky by a majority of white people . it has a very very strong smell as im sure u know , and opening ur lunch box as a little kid to a Curry or Dal ur mum has made u ? one way street to being bullied . i also remember a time a real estate agent continuously told my dad nobody was interested in buying our house bc it smelled too much like curry, despite my mum not having cooked curry in Weeks ( just say what u Really mean , bitch ! )

indian curry exists but so does dal / daal . this is curry-like dish that is usually made out of lentils . so if ur going to talk about indian food and u know curries and samosas . . pls also bring up dals . and sabji ! ( sabji is usually just boiled vegetables plopped together . a lot of potato usually )

desserts are what we call Indian Sweets . this is stuff that is usually very VERY sugary and a bit of an accustomed taste . theyre very colourful and LOOK beautiful but even i , for one , can not eat many indian sweets bc they are a Lot of Sweet and Sugar . examples of indian sweets that u can google : gulab jamun , burfi , rasgulla , jalebi etc . here’s a great link for more !

give me spiced food or give me death . literally . . put some cumin in . . put some garam masala . . put some chillies . . flavour ur Food for my Indian Taste Buds

FAMILY :

if you are the oldest son of an Indian Family . . congratulations . you are now the Head of the family and must carry every weight and burden alone . it is extremely isolating and taxing on you ( my dad is the oldest indian son , and also - so is my eldest brother , obvs ) . there is a LOT that is expected of you to do . you are expected to quite literally run the family and be the ‘ man of the house ‘ by yourself .

if you are a daughter . . . even BIGGER congratulations ! you are basically a maid to every male or guest who EVER comes over to your house . you must be a Hostess , you must be in the kitchen cooking , serving snacks, bringing tea , and then washing up and basically waiting on Hand and Foot . you will not be included into a lot of dialogue or engaged in a lot of conversation and TRUST ME ! THAT WILL GRIND UR GOD DAMN GEARS IN THE 21ST CENTURY !

if you are a boys’ boy ( aka straight and Sporty ) , then congrats ! you get it the easiest : you are the favourite of every social event . the uncles and cousins love talking to you and dude-ing it up with you , and the aunts fawn over you and think you’re the Best Thing since sliced bread . sit back , put your feet up , and expect to be treated like a God. you can do absolutely no wrong . ( my middle brother is this to a T and listen . . he’s been in and out of jail for physical violence and ab*se for over 5 years . and family still FROTH over him . my teeth are gritted to dust thinking of this again )

indian aunties are lethal . they gossip like teenage girls . they will find out everything . they will bitch behind your back . they can NOT be trusted .

everyone is ur uncle or aunt, sister or brother . literally everyone . ur cousin ? no. thats ur sister . ur dads friend ? no , thats ur uncle . you will call them as such . EVERYONE is family .

family is in general a VERY BIG THING in indian culture , too . ‘ what will it Look like to everyone else if we don’t all arrive together ? ‘ my dad usually asks dskjdfjn . it’s all about Looking Right and Standing As A United Front . that being said , indian family has undying and unwavering loyalty for one another , they just show it in a very Weird way .

FASHION:

female hindu indian formal clothes are usually really embroidered to hell and back and this makes them very scratchy , uncomfortable, and HEAVY . you aren’t running anywhere anytime soon in a full blown lehenga or saree

most ‘ modern ‘ hindu indian women do not wear full Indian Clothes all the time . some do , but usually it’s a lot of wearing a kurti tunic with jeans , or just normal everyday clothing . again , this is going to be different based on which parts of india your character is from , though !

usually , older women and married women wear traditiona hindul indian clothing quite often . i know my mum wore a sari AT HOME everyday when i was growing up, until i was like 13 and took her shopping with me to get something Else to wear .

bindi’s just stick right onto ur forehead but they do fall off a lot , especially when ur wearing makeup or sweating . again , you don’t need to wear a bindi everyday , unless thats ur preference . i usually only wear them for festivals . ( festivals means indian celebrations , not like . . coachella ((which u should not be wearing a bindi to , if ur not indian fyi )) )

male formal clothes are usually just literally anything Formal and buttoned up for the most part , and u can get away with that , or you can wear a really nice kurta

indians wear white at funerals , not black ( not sure if this should go in the fashion section but this entire thing is being organised into a Mess by now anyways ) . you CAN wear black to a funeral of course , but its common to wear white !

DATING ( tw’s for islamaphobia ):

modern day indian / desi fuck boys exist and my god they are Something Else . hasan minhaj did a really good piece about this and explaining them to a T ( starts at 1:43 )

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT WILL MENTION ISLAMAPHOBIA AND HOMOPHOBIA ! ) basically according to Older indians , , ur dating options in 2020 go like this ( if ur a cis female like me ) : hindu indian men are god tier , white men are Not Okay But I Guess So Bc We Have To Accept They’re Everywhere , females / being lgbtqia+ is not Taken Seriously , and muslims are literally not even close to being an option or Accepted . again this isn’t definitive but based on a lot of indian media i’ve consumed and seen how they portray muslims in general as well as Dating Options , as well as talking to other indians , both who are older / traditional and hold these ideals , whereas Younger gens generally do NOT hold these ideals / actively are Against these backwards ideals. i remember when i was in year 6 and had my first boyfriend . . he was a muslim and my dad FLIPPED the FUCK out . it’s not even that i was dating someone / young / his only daughter . . it was mainly because i was dating a muslim . again , this is a very OLD SCHOOL and traditional way of thinking and it is NOT CORRECT . pls don’t take this as a note to be islamaphobic if u write an indian character bc . . thats literally the opposite of what im trying to tell u here .

yeah arranged marriages are definitely still a thing for us , even now in 2020

YES if u are an unmarried / single indian ( ESPECIALLY if ur a woman ) about to enter ur 30s . . ur in DANGER and u are the black sheep and theres probably something Wrong With You bc why are u still single ?

TRADITIONS / BELIEFS / SUPERSTITIONS :

idk if its just me and my family but we are SUPER superstitious . if you say anything like ‘ he hasnt gotten sick in years !’ immediately , everyone knocks on wood or their head . if you were planning on leaving the house and sneeze ? thats bad luck , stand and wait for five minutes then u can leave . we have a strong belief in drishti , or alternatively : The Evil Eye , and making sure we don’t invite it into our lives . a lot of our prayers are about warding drishti away .

the evil eye is kinda Complicated but basically its an ill-wishing upon an unsuspecting person . if somebody is jealous of you or angered by you , they may wish upon you or cast upon you the Evil eye ( or even just glare at u whilst ur not looking and thats Big Bad ) .

a lot of older indians , like older people in general i guess , are not super progressive or Open . this isnt ALWAYS the case but older indians can be very very stubborn in their beliefs in what is Right and Wrong , Normal and Not Normal

theres a LOT of hindu indian festivals and events ! tbh too many for me to even keep up with . but without fail at least once a year ill say to ONE of my friends ‘ oh sorry i cant make it . i have an indian Thing on that day ‘ and its usually about a festival , so pls be aware that there are a LOT of indian festivals and if ur writing an indian character , its perfectly understandable and Relatable for them to say they can’t make it to a party or hang out with their friends that night , for that very reason !

the main / most popular ( ? ) festivities that i personally do celebrate every year without fail are :

diwali ( the festival of lights , celebrating goddess lakshmi roaming the earth . in my household this is usually turning on literally every single light and lighting candles and fireworks / sparklers and saying some prayers , and eating a formal dinner all together ! )

holi ( the festival of colours . celebrating victory and love . again personally for me , this was usually celebrated at the temple with all of us Kids running around throwing paint on each other ! )

rakhi / raksha bandhan ( a day of sisters celebrating their brothers . you tie a rakhi which is usually a bracelet / holy string around your brothers wrist , feed them some food , pray for their wellbeing and in return they gift you something . in my case, i usually get money from them ) .

navratri / durga puja ( 9 nights and 10 days of celebrations but tbh u don’t have to do all the days . or i mean . . i don’t . i fast one day from morning to night and then i slide on over to boogie and dance dandiya which is literally the MOST FUN dance ever bc its based off some Historical Fight and u go faster and faster and keep going until ur absolutely SPENT bc u dont wanna lose ur place in the circle )

there are SO MANY HINDU INDIAN GODS too . and so many prayers to all of them and to just general Life Wellness . chances are that ur character will know at least ONE aarti / gazal / prayer off by heart and have sung it at least 30 times in a monotone voice . the ones i know off by heart bc ive had to sing them 3000 times ? om jai jagdish hare , & the gayatri mantra

GENERAL LIL THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO CATEGORISE ( tw’s for skin whitening , colorism and classism ) :

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR SKIN WHITENING AND COLORISM ) lets hold indians accountable right now : we advertise SKIN LIGHTENING CREAM . i think they finally stopped that earlier this year / due to BLM ( i’m not entirely sure / could be wrong ) , but thats literally how bad it is , that we would openly advertise and encourage people to literally bleach their skin rather than look darker .

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR COLORISM AND CLASSISM ) colorism is a BIG thing in india and usually linked to class . generally speaking , the people who are Darker Skinned are usually people who work outside / labourers or homeless even , and are therefore seen as lower class / bottom class . the lighter skin you have , the more privileged and advantaged you are bc ur seen as working a Good job out of the sun and having a home . it’s incredibly classist as well as just generally Fucked Up . why am i telling u this ? mainly so u understand the importance of using a dark skinned indian fc vs a light skinned indian fc which i know is hard , bc a lot of darker skinned indians arent in hollywood / have resources , but its still something to Think About .

i have a long Ethnic name . literally my first name is 10+ letters , which i know doesnt seem that long Necessarily but its also a Super Ethnic name with e’s and and j and n . it Flows and Sounds very clearly different from a christian name . it is VERY important to me that my name be said Correctly because i’ve spent so much time having it said incorrectly or Westernised . i also know a lot of indians my age who ( like me ) have had to dramatically shorten their REAL first name ( which is usually also pretty long . not always , but it is Common ) , to fit their name into white people’s mouths better . please put some thought into ur indian characters name !

not all indians speak hindi ! hindi is one of MANY dialects within india . there is also tamil , urdu , bengali , punjabi , telugu and SO many more , so pls research which part of india ur character / their family is from bc hindi won’t always be the default language for them !

not every indian is hindu ! of course ur character doesnt have to be religious at all , bc if im being honest IM barely religious but my FAMILY is and this is smth u should think abt bc religion is a pretty big thing for indians . so even if ur character isnt hindu , they were probably raised with SOME religious beliefs . have a think about which religions they would have been brought up with ! there’s a very large percentage of practicing muslims , sikhs and buddhists too ! and even christianity !

WRITING WISE / CREATING AN INDIAN CHARACTER WISE :

the first step should be to consume indian media ! listen to indian music . watch bollywood movies ! theres SO MANY out there on everyone’s netflix . if u want some recs , let me know and i can try my best to find smth for u ! if u want smth thats Hollywood-indian . . . Hasan Minhaj is great to watch , especially his episodes on indian culture / politics , and Never Have I Ever on netflix was rlly good / relatable for me personally as an indian growing up in a western society !

i would really really love to see more indian rep in general , but i’d also like to discuss the Stereotypes that ive seen indians portrayed as in mainstream hollywood media :

indian women as soft spoken and subservient beings who are abused by their husbands and have no say in anything

heterosexuality within indian relationships and indian dating

indian men as sleazy

indians in general not being seen as Sexy or Sexual beings with any sex drive at all

Stumbling , Stuttering , Nerdy awkward messes of men who don’t know how to interact with anybody they find sexually appealing

an indian character that everybody ( usually white ) finds Uncomfortable and Weird and is seen as usually the Butt of the joke .

i think those mentioned above could be helpful in how to plan your next indian character and think about how to SUBVERT a trope theyre often portrayed as , or create an indian thats not stereotypical !

so what and who SHOULD you write ?

an indian character who is proudly and openly gay , or bi

a trans or nonbinary indian ( PLEASE ! )

an indian character with really super accepting parents and family

an aromantic indian

an indian who is focused on their career first and not their dating life

a fuckboy / fuckgirl ( honestly . . i’d love to see it )

a indian character who is a party animal

an outspoken indian female who takes no shit and is strong in every sense of the word

a confident , smooth talking indian businessman who is Sexy and Lusted After ( not in a gross christian grey way but just . i’d love to see indian characters seen as Sexy . not in a fetishy way , either , but just because it’d be a nice change in pace ! )

a character who IS traditional / religious but also very progressive and forward thinking in their beliefs

honestly just any character that isnt whats mentioned above

#guide #writing help #rph #rpc #islamaphobia tw #colorism tw #classism tw #idk if this is any good and i was very uncomfortable putting in the part abt how a lot of older indians feel abt muslims #but i mean . . lets just call it the fuck out bc its Gross Behaviour so lets call it out and work to change it #anyways every trigger is tagged super clearly in every point that talks abt it #i kept those parts Brief and as Direct and Honest as possible #pls let me know if u need me to tag anything #and lastly . . . pls write indian characters !!!!

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theenchantedgalleryofstories · 3 years

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For: @allaboardthereadingrailroad‘s Diversity Challenge. Sorry this is late! Pairing: Steve Rogers x Desi!Reader (hopefully thats right if not let me know and I will change it) Plot: Steve Rogers, the youngest adopted son of House Stark, is being sent to Dorne to marry the eldest daughter of House Martell to solidify an alliance between the two houses and bring down House Lannister.

Most photo came from Pinterest. Reader Face claim is Hamel Patel

@sapphirescrolls @bucky-the-thigh-slayer @whiskey-cokenfanfic @brooklyns-boys @shreddedparchment

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x poc!reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x desi!reader #allaboardthereadingrailroads's diversity challenge

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raindrop-on-a-spiderweb · 4 years

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Swing Me Round The Moon

@anon who asked me where the previous chapter of Salvatore and Patience's marriage was, I uploaded it to archiveofourown

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077973/chapters/60945490

And I've been meaning to upload this unpublished bonus chapter for a while, written for my friend Brook.

It's just a snapshot of Patience and Salvatore's marriage and some smut 😝

***

"He kissed your hand. He kissed your fucking hand."

Patience deposited her infant in a tub of soapy water in the sink. "It's Leonardo Borghese. He does that to everyone. He's a gentleman." She gave him a hurtful look. "You could stand to be more of a gentleman."

Salvatore was pacing around the cluttered living room, hair messy and a cigarette clutched between his fingers. His eyes were dark and wild. "I'll kill him. I'll kill that cocksucker. Touching my wife like that… I saw the way he looked at you. Fucking blond bastard, smug privileged little fuck. I bet he thinks he can have anything he wants--including you. I'll show him. I'll walk up behind him in an empty street and put a bullet in his skull. I will--"

"Look at you. A week out of jail and already planning on murdering somebody."

"Daddyyyy," whined her daughter from the doorway.

"Why don't you play with your children? They haven't seen you in a year. They're happy to have you back."

Salvatore scooped up his daughter and sat her on his lap, still shaking. The girl pulled at his sleeveless shirt, waving a doll in his face.

"It's not fair you been putting the twins in between us when we sleep," he growled. "I can't even hold you. I'm a man, you know. A man's got needs."

"Well, if you're not going to wear a condom then I'll just have to keep doing it! You spent a year in prison with your right hand, you can wait a little longer!" She slammed down the fork she was cleaning and glared at him.

He didn't seem to be listening to her. He and his daughter were watching a Disney cartoon on television, but his eyes seemed far away. She did not like the look in his eyes. She knew that look. It meant he was about to do something stupid, get into trouble again.

Patience shook her head as she went back to drying silverware. Sal knew better than to do that. He knew she would give him hell and high water if he did something like that again. She'd been on her own for a year and she had just got her husband back, she wasn't going to let prison have him again any time soon.

***

The kids were all read to and put to bed, so Patience dotted on face cream and slid under the covers to wait for her husband. One of the twins had his thumb in his mouth, the other was fast asleep. She curled up around them, waiting for Salvatore's heavy footsteps to clomp down the hall and his tall body to depress the bed beside her. Her eyes had only just began to drift shut when she heard the front door lock unsnap.

A jolt of fear rushed to her head as she ran out into the hallway. Salvatore had put on an overcoat and was loading a revolver. The barrel had just snapped shut and he was preparing to tuck it into his fly when Patience hit him head on.

"Salvatore Bruno Mallozzi, don't you dare! Don't you dare!" She blabbered, forcibly holding him back as he tried to elbow her off.

"He had it comin' for a long time," he spat. "This was the last straw. Last fuckin' straw. I know what he's gonna try to do to you when I go back to jail. Gotta take him out for you and the kids."

"You will be going back to jail for the rest of your life if you do this!"

His eyes were black as hell and burning with hatred as he yanked the door open. At wit's end, Patience resorted to the last trick up her sleeve--the one thing she knew she could rely on to get him to stop.

She took his face in between her hands and kissed him.

Patience felt the tension leave his body immediately. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands went to her waist, pulling her towards his hard body. Salvatore kissed her like a man drowning, sucking her tongue so hard it went numb, conquering her lips with harsh, hot kisses.

Still kissing, she felt for the wall, feeling her way down the hall until they reached the living room.

He was fumbling her silk nightdress, pulling it over her head. She was glad he had presence of mind to do that, at least. Sometimes he would be so worked up he would rip it off like an animal. Her eldest daughter kept wondering why her nightgowns always ended up torn and left in the trash.

His overcoat fell to the floor as he pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his lean, muscled chest. His calloused fingers thumbed over her soft skin, around her small pink nipples, and delving between the apex of her thighs.

He was a heady lover, and a forceful one. Some part of her liked that. She always went away fulfilled--in more ways than one. She morosely reminded herself to pick up another bassinet when she went to Woolworth's. Good grief, three children in this house under the age of three and one soon to be on the way.

They were both naked now, his erection pressing above her navel. He was a tall man, and strong despite his spindly appearance. He picked her up and effortlessly threw her onto the sofa. A squeaky toy squeaked under her back.

Patience was wet from his caresses earlier, and arched her back as he pushed himself between her legs. The tip of his cock pressed against her lower lips, hard and pulsing, then slammed in up to the hilt. It had been so long since she had a hot cock in her that her whole body went limp, the pleasure washing over her in a river as he started his rhythm.

"No--" she managed, sitting up to press her hand over his chest. Her face was flushed, brown hair messy. "The… the bedroom. The children could see us."

She stood up shakily, covering herself with her nightgown as they hustled into the bedroom between kisses. The bedside lamp lit them in a soft orange glow as they fell backwards--

One of the twins whined.

***

Both of them were stock still for a moment as their child turned over and pressed his face against the pillow. Their lips were still entwined, frozen.

Patience moved first, creeping out of the room and leading her husband by the hand. He collapsed on the sofa in a sudden paternal fit, his thick dark hair in a mess, as if he were a wholesome Desi Arnaz fretting about his home life. "All these fuckin kids," groused Salvatore.

"Whose fault is that?" Patience grumpily knew they would be conceiving their next tonight. Sometimes she wished she had never let him badger her into marriage. She slid her legs over his, settling into his lap. The head of his cock slid into her as she swiveled her hips, and he responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and slamming her forward.

It had been so long. She remembered when they had just married--she had already been pregnant, but that had not dampened his lust for her. They used to spend hours in bed together, his lips latched onto her swollen nipple and her gasping mouth. Her pregnant belly had fit so well against his lean one, and she felt a sudden leap of excitement as she thought of herself getting heavy with another one before she squashed it cynically, as she had with every positive feeling she'd ever felt towards him.

She rode him silently in the cluttered quiet of the room. The dull black glare of the television reflected them, two bodies hung over each other. Her hair curtained her face as he slammed up into her.

Her nipples were ripe as berries, her legs trembling and her body racing with pleasure as his cock dragged against her swollen pink walls. He pressed a rough finger on her clit as she rode him to climax, and the extra spurt of fire made her walls clench around his length.

The rush of semen into her ripe, waiting womb made her bite her husband's shoulder, hard. He just laughed and slid his hand behind her head. "You're still being the shy girl I knew when we met, huh?"

"I wasn't shy," she murmured, eyes half lidded with pleasure.

"Hell you weren't. I could tell you'd never been fucked before in your life, with your little coiffed flip and your tiny pursed lips. You wouldn't even meet my eyes. Once you got a taste of me, you couldn't stay away." He kissed her ear warmly. "And I can't stay away from you, either. Fuck, I'd take you over Marilyn Monroe, you know that, Patty?"

Her insides were beginning to relax as her orgasm faded away. She had enough strength to tiredly lift her head and try and whisper something in his ear--before the door knocked.

"Mama? Papa? It's getting kinda cold. Why is the door open."

Patience tilted her head back, the tips of her hair tickling the small of her back. She and Salvatore shared an exhausted, matching smile.

"Just close it, honey. Mama and Papa will come to bed in a minute."

#bonus chapter

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bookriot · 7 years

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Sarah Jessica Parker Chooses Indian-American Novel as First Imprint Title: Critical Linking

Sponsored by Blackstone Publishing, publisher of False Flag by John Altman.

The upcoming debut novel, tentatively-titled A Place for Us, is written by Fatima Farheen Mirza, a 26-year-old graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. The novel revolves around the fictional marriage of a woman named Hadia, the eldest daughter of an Indian-American Muslim family living in California. It’s a love marriage, as opposed to a traditionally arranged marriage, which surfaces intergenerational tensions between the American-born children of the family and their immigrant parents.

Sarah Jessica Parker chose a novel by an emerging Desi writer as the first title in her new partnership with Penguin Random House.

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…EW can exclusively announce that Check, Please! will be published in print by First Second Books. The first volume, which hits stores Fall 2018, will collect the first two “Years” of the comic, while the second will collect the latter two, and is set to be published in Fall 2019. Both books will feature extra content not included in the Kickstarter editions.

Congrats to Ngozi Ukazu for getting a two-volume publishing deal!

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Mr. Dawkins began as writer, earning a Master of Fine Arts degree before he committed his crime. And while his book, “The Graybar Hotel,” has received early praise from writers like Roddy Doyle and Atticus Lish, its release has also raised uncomfortable questions for the publisher as it tries to win over booksellers and critics to rally behind a work by an unknown debut writer — who is also a convicted murderer.

A man serving a life sentence for murder landed a major book deal.

#books #reading #critical linking

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ablanariwho · 6 years

Text

English Medium, Indian Middle Class And The Story Of A Blast Furnace - Part I

Vernacular medium schooling in post-independence India - a prison of self-doubt?

Photo Courtesy

I still remember the day I went to the most prestigious, English medium, a convent school in our township. My parents took me there for my admission test for the senior KG.

We had landed up there a bit later than the session. That was the reason there was no rush of aspiring parents with their kids on that day. I remember entering into a cool, little dark and quiet room. The nun-Principal was sitting behind a well-polished large teak wood table. She pushed a white sheet of paper towards me and told me something, almost in a whispering tone. I thought she asked me to write A to Z and I promptly started writing it in an upward-moving line. I had been prepared for it as the most expected question. That is why I presumed she said that. But she stopped me when I was almost reaching the last couple of alphabets. This time she said a little louder she wanted me to write the word “Cow’. Luckily I knew that. I wrote that too in my raw, child-like handwriting. I parroted out a rhyme or two and also named colours, numbers and stuff. I had learnt all that at the neighbourhood, home-run pre-kindergarten school. Nowadays people call it a playschool. One Mrs Bell ran it. She was the first teacher in my life. I have a faint memory of the frail, soft-spoken Anglo-Indian lady with blonde hair. She taught us the alphabet, numbers and many other things. I loved the shiny silver and gold stars she stuck on my workbook along with long-tailed tick marks. It would pump up my confidence a lot. The stars on my workbook were my most precious possessions those days.

Illustration by: Amit Shankhlya

After I finished writing the word 'Cow', the Principal took out some toffees from a glass jar kept on her table and gave me with a smile on her face. I was happy and thought I did my job well. I was not aware that my supposedly stellar performance at the test was not enough to get me admission to her school. I was over-aged for the Sr. KG class by a few months! She offered a seat in the lower grade. But my parents did not agree. They did not want me to lose one more year in starting school. I missed the bus and didn’t get the chance to join the league of “Macaulay’s children”. But the story initiated by Thomas Babington Macaulay way back in 1835, in the British raj, caught up with my life.

Thomas Babington Macaulay

Photo Courtesy

English medium schooling became the most crucial factor in education in post-independence India. It started defining the demographic profile and quality of life of the emerging Indian middle class, born in the ’60s. It became a highly sought after identity label.

The aftereffect of Macaulayism gave birth to a sort of educational racism and class divide in post-independence India. With any kind of racism come prejudice, discrimination and oppression. It inflicted people's outlook towards their own fellow countrymen with bias and scorn. People who could avail English-medium and especially convent education developed a superiority complex. Communication skills in the English language became the key to better career opportunities and status in society. People who lacked that due to vernacular medium schooling struggled in the same. It affected their confidence and their sense of self-esteem. All these started reflecting in people's behaviour with each other. They are yet to get over it.

My parents, the late '30s generation, failed to listen to the Wind of Change in modern India. It was taking giant steps into heavy industrialization. It propagated a new way of life. English medium schooling was the stepping stone to it.

My early education took a back seat in the order of priorities of the joint family. My mother was the eldest and the only daughter-in-law at that time. She had to stay at her in-law's house and take care of my ailing grandmother for one whole year. In these circumstances, my school admission got delayed. By the time my parents approached the English medium convent schools in the town, seeking admission for me in the ‘Senior KG’ grade, I was over-aged for it. The schools did not agree to take me straight into the first grade either. For that doing the Kindergarten part in a proper school, preferably in theirs was necessary. The gap year created a problem.

Timing became very important in that era. Unlike my parents’ childhood days in the pre-mid-20th century. Those days school admission worked like an “informal sector.” My parents didn’t need a birth certificate, an area zip code, kindergarten schooling or their parents’ interview along with hefty development fee like today to get admission into a local primary school. Someone from their neighbourhood or distant relatives happened to realize while passing by the bunch of noisy kids playing in the village pond or fields, that it was high time to put the brats in school. Often they would take the initiative too to help the parents admit their kids to a local school. No one checked their age. Whatever age the person who escorted the children for admission told the school authority was accepted and recorded. But in my time it didn't happen that way anymore in urban India or industrial townships.

Finally, the school I joined was a start-up, vernacular (Bengali) medium school. It lacked the so-called ‘class’ and legacy. Most of the students were from lower economic group families. I was so excited to go to a big school like a big girl. I was unaware of all this. I had no idea about the impending social stigma around non-English medium schooling. Neither my parents were aware of such a social nuisance. The bullying, shaming and social ostracising were the worst part of it.

It is a shame that studying in your mother tongue in independent India is the most embarrassing and debilitating thing to do.

The story of my schooling in vernacular medium marked the clash of times, generations and outlooks in the later part of 20th century India.

Please read on in part II of this post to find out - how Desi minds were, and still are, wrapped in the Union Jack.

Click here: English Medium, Indian Middle Class And The Story Of A Blast Furnace - Part II.

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#British colony #Thomas Babington Macaulay #Tata Steel #India #Union Jack #English Medium #convent education #missionary school #Influence of schooling #schooling #child psychology #personality development #confidence building

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