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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 3 years

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The Structure of the Vigil

Shout-out to @rouxipanda who wanted to hear more about my OCs! I'm going to twine it into a headcanon post concerning the structure of the Vigil, which I imagine General Almorra came up with as a sort of twist on the warband system.

Let's start with our Warmaster Forgal; I imagine he'd have joined the Vigil early on. He seems to have a friendship with Almorra and isn't afraid to butt in with his opinion in the middle of diplomatic encounters, so he's not just a random Warmaster, and he told Efut that the player is "the kid he should've had" which means he has a fairly close relationship with other high-level Vigil members as well.

But then my future Commander, then going by Soulstrider, comes along, a few months after the Vigil's founding in 1320/21, at that time a representative of the Krytan throne, to negotiate with General Almorra concerning this random charr's interest in building a military keep on human soil.

Those negotiations went well, and Soulstrider was assigned to oversee the construction of the Keep. (Meanwhile, some random charr explains the concept of a warband and what exactly happened to Almorra's, causing Soulstrider to become self-conscious about her name.) Anyway, a while after that she joined the Vigil, changed her chosen name to Solestrider out of respect for Almorra, and was assigned to Forgal. (Almorra told her she totally didn't have to do that, but she did anyway. And she started going by her given name Tiffany.)

So Forgal and Tiffany went and did all sorts of missions together and Tiffany got promoted and by the time 1325 rolls around, Forgal and Tiffany are both Warmasters and have comfortably been working as each other's partners for four years or so.

Around this time, Eveanin, sylvari guardian, awakens from her pod and goes through the basic sylvari quests until level thirty. At this point, I stole a line from human Crusader Hiroki (from level thirty) and put it in the mouth of sylvari Crusader Branthyn (from level thirty). The line was to a new Vigil character about who their mentor might be; she said "hope you don't get Forgal; he's a real bear. Get it? 'Cause he's a norn?"

A human character replies with "I hope not! I couldn't bear it!" My sylvari Eveanin, however, knows nothing about norn. After the quest, since she had time before meeting General Almorra and her new mentor in Lion's Arch she hopped right along to Hoelbrak to learn about norn. There she met Pharlt and his wife Creepylaugh, and became their friend through assisting them with their level thirty norn questline. Pharlt joined the Vigil and Creepylaugh joined the Priroy (and promptly is almost never relevant again).

Eveanin and Pharlt, then, head to Lion's Arch to meet with General Almorra and their respective mentors.

Now, since Eveanin and Pharlt are already friends, General Almorra thinks it would be a good idea to keep them together, so she should assign them to a pair of mentors who are already partners. Pharlt is assigned to Forgal (because they are both norn) and Eveanin is assigned to Tiffany.

Now we have a little happy multiracial warband here, which was the whole point, and I have a future Commander who didn't have two-and-one-instance questlines before being promoted to top rank, while also keeping the original Vigil progression more-or-less intact.

Now, Eveanin and Pharlt's progressions through the Vigil system isn't exactly like in-game; they do all the racial sympathy quests at level 50 that are available to them, so we get quaggan and skritt and grawl and hylek and ogres storylines. So Eveanin and Pharlt spend quite a bit more time as Crusaders than the player normally does, and they still don't get promoted to Warmaster until after the whole Claw Island debacle, instead of just before (since neither of them become the Commander.)

Then Forgal dies.

Now, we kind of had a pyramid structure/Fibonacci sequence going on; Forgal was there first, and then came Tiffany, and then came two students; if things had been normal, then after the two students became full Warmasters, all four of them would retain their little warband-like structure and then take on four more students, and then there would be eight of them, and they would take on eight students, and then there would be sixteen - and so on.

But also, in a normal situation where the top of the pyramid (Forgal) died, that would shatter the pyramid. Tiffany would have become the top of the pyramid, but Pharlt's role doesn't necessarily have a deep connection with her, and he also doesn't necessarily have a deep connection with Eveanin, so now he's by himself and he has to start a new pyramid.

It wasn't like that - he was fast friends with Eveanin and had a respect for Tiffany, but he would have always felt very slightly left out - especially when Trahearne showed up and Eveanin knew him, and Tiffany had complicated backstory involving him, and Pharlt was just like 'who now?'

But I think this is really how General Almorra might've planned the structure of the Vigil, kind of based on the warband system but adapted for the needs of a recruiting military and without the stigma of a gladium; there are single-person roles and you can always be lumped in with another group, and groups can be lumped together, and so on for harder missions. And of course actual whole warbands that join the Vigil together stay together; General Almorra is a charr and she understands that kind of bond and tries to capitalize on it as much as possible - which is why she stuck Pharlt and Eveanin together when she saw that they were already friends. If they'd joined separately they'd have been assigned mostly at random the way the player kinda was.

But the Vigil feels like a cohesive system with a core identity, and I imagine this system would be a good conduit to that; encourage pyramid/warband/family system so you stick with your group and feel loyalty to them and as a whole you are loyal to the cause of the Vigil, and pyramids splinter all the time because people die, and bigger pyramids you don't always have that connection with everybody else on the pyramid, so you get splintered-off smaller pyramids being put together with other small pyramids on missions that need that many people and at some point the groups kind of merge.

And at some point technically you don't even have a pyramid, it's just a bunch of friends on a team who fight together. And maybe from an outside perspective it looks like a normal military with different companies and platoons and all that stuff, only how they got like that is cool and fun and dynamic.

And when someone dies there's always blame and grief going around, and maybe you didn't have the best relationship with some of the others anyway, so the pyramid-splinter enables you to break away from potentially toxic relationships and start over with just the people you feel comfortable with.

But anyway, this is just a theory I thought up when I wanted Eveanin and Pharlt to stick together and to stick with my Commander, and then at some point down the line they all pick up students and the pyramid grows.

#Vigil #general almorra soulkeeper #tiffanycommander #pharlt #eveanin #forgal kernsson #crusader hiroki #crusader branthyn #sylvari level 30 quest #norn level 30 quest #creepylaugh #priory

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 4 years

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The Heartrending Mind, Part I

TL;DR: Eveanin, the youngest and weakest of the Commander’s sylvari allies, only agrees to be the fourth member of the team going into Mordremoth’s mind because it is better for her to turn there... than out here where Trahearne is vulnerable.

~oOoOo~

“Mordremoth didn’t even try to cover its tracks,” Marjory Delaqua informs the group after a cursory glance around. “Either this is a trap, or the dragon’s getting desperate.”

Tiffany Commander, her mouth pressed in a thin line, volunteers a comment. “I’m going to vote for trap. Mordremoth is painless.”

Wait, what? Commander hadn’t mentioned that before. Commander had always felt intense pain around any kind of dragon corruption.

Eveanin glances around again - the jungle dragon surrounds them on all sides. She can feel it breathing… in sync with her own. Or maybe she is in sync with it. I’m the weak link here. If anyone turns, it’ll be me. The matching of the breathing - all by itself - makes her jittery and nervous. I’m the youngest, the weakest, the one with the worst secret. The easiest to manipulate. “Can we get going?” she asks. “I want to get away from here already.”

“Seconded,” Canach says dryly.

Mordremoth wants us gone, as well,” Marjory points out. “We’ve got company.”

“News to me,” Canach snarks back, even as he draws his blade.

Eveanin steels herself against the feeling that she is fighting allies. Other sylvari, corrupted - her sisters and brothers. Other Mordrem - her cousins from other Blighting Trees. Her kin. They’re Mordremoth’s minions. They are the enemy. They captured me. They took Trahearne.

Blue magic swirls around her fingertips, and a furious flame springs up in a ring around the small group of rescuers. She seizes the five nearest Mordrem with a magical hook and draws them into the fire, into the weapons of her allies. Commander falls back from melee range, nocking an arrow.

Thorns, she’s vulnerable back there! A protective blue dome flashes into existence around the Commander, knocking back a charging Mordrem. Eveanin is a frontline fighter. She can’t handle Mordremoth’s subtlety. She doesn’t have the time to question her every impulse, not in the heat of battle. But I have to. I’m a liability otherwise - a constant menace.

“We’re clear,” Rytlock announces, when the Mordrem are gone.

“Looks like there’s only one way forward,” Braham observes, gesturing toward the tunnel leading further south… and down.

“Let’s move, then,” Commander says with a resigned sigh. “Stick close - we don’t know what’s down here.”

Armies cannot stop me.

The dragon is focused on the battle outside,” Canach points out. “We’ll never get a better chance.”

Yeah, except since when do we hear its stray thoughts? Eveanin wonders, following Commander down the path. Mordremoth intended for us to hear that. It wants us to think we have an advantage.

More Blighting Pods. Eveanin glances away and hurries past them, trying to ignore the way the pulsing light inside the pods lines up perfectly with the rhythm of her own breathing. She’d already tried and failed to change it, but each breath requires intense concentration to time right. And it just makes her anxious.

Ahead of her, Commander inhales sharply. “There he is,” she whispers, hurrying forward. “Great gods, what has Mordremoth done to him?”

Eveanin glances up and sees him, too - physically bound to the dragon, Trahearne looks haggard and weak. Blue magic flares around her fingertips in anger. She wants to murder something. Mordremoth has no right to do this - any of this - to Trahearne. To anyone. The Marshal shouldn’t have sent her with the others to escape. She shouldn’t have let him.

She glances away. Canach might want to pound the dragon into the dust for its crimes, Commander might want to defy Mordremoth to the Underworld and back, Caithe might just want to ensure freedom, even at the price of death… but Eveanin just wants to run far, far away. Or just surrender, give up, let the inevitable happen and let myself die. I don’t have to care. Eveanin shivers. Stop it. Every second that passes, surrender becomes more and more inviting.

“Commander?” comes Trahearne’s tired voice. “The Pact… is it…”

You’re an admirable fool, Trahearne. Asking after the Pact, and you in this condition?

“All but gone, Marshal,” Commander says quietly. “But once we get you out of here, we can regroup and finish the dragon once and for all.”

Trahearne shakes his head slowly. “It’s too late. I know - I am part of the jungle dragon now. It is everywhere.”

“Oh, Trahearne,” Commander whispers, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says, his voice slightly creaky. Commander, her own shoulders slumped, opens her mouth to protest, but Braham speaks first.

“So how do we kill it?” Braham asks, drawing attention back to the main point. “Burn every field and fell every forest?”

“No,” Trahearne replies with a sigh. “It can’t be defeated that way. It’ll just grow back. Its roots have spread too far, too deep.”

“Then… we destroy the root,” Commander says slowly, in that thinking-out-loud manner she does when figuring things out. “Mordremoth’s mind! Its strongest attacks come from its mind, from the Dream. That’s our target.”

Not only from the Dream. Scarlet and Aerin were Soundless, and they fell more easily than anyone. Eveanin glances around, wondering what else Mordremoth uses as a tool to broadcast its Call.

“Sound strategy, Commander,” Canach says approvingly. “Turn the tables and attack the dragon the same way it’s been attacking us? Brilliant.”

But we are barely strong enough to hold it off ourselves. How can we be strong enough to counterattack effectively? And then, a crushing, impending cloud descends on her mind, stifling all thought. A low rumble rolls through her, and every part of her being fixates on the sensation - it is all she can sense, all she can imagine - and her breathing in time to the discordant beat of Mordremoth’s thoughts.

Eveanin blinks, looks around frantically; dimly, she hears Canach scoffing at the dragon’s dislike of the idea, the strain of the pressure invisible under thick layers of sarcasm. Eveanin casts around desperately for some outside influence to focus on, to help separate her mind from Mordremoth’s.

“Yes…” Trahearne says, and his voice sounds distant and far-off, as if from down a long tunnel. “Strike at the dragon’s mind… through the Dream.” It’s not the Dream, it’s not - Eveanin clings to the thought, to Trahearne’s voice, to the terrifying plan ahead of them. “It can work. And my connection will provide the access you need.”

“The Rata Novans said each Elder Dragon has a weak spot. We just identified Mordremoth’s,” Commander says, sounding confident and sure. Why now? Why now, of all times, to be the stronger person, the one I’ll have to rely on?

“I’m ready,” Trahearne says after a moment. “If I concentrate, I can open a path into the Dream… into Mordremoth’s mind.” That’s where we’re going, not the Dream - we’re going into Mordremoth’s very mind. Trahearne knows. Oh, curse the day I let him send me away. Curse the day I carried that message to Commander. Trahearne goes on; “your minds will make the journey, but your bodies will remain here in the cavern.”

Rytlock growls. “I’ve seen enough metaphysical landscapes lately. I’ll stay behind to keep the Mordrem at bay.”

“I’ll stay too,” Marjory speaks up. “If something goes wrong… or Trahearne isn’t what he seems to be… I’ll be standing by.”

You absolute idiot! Eveanin wants to scream. Now is not the time to go sowing distrust and suspicion! You’re as bad as Mordremoth! Eveanin pauses. No, no call for that, either. ‘Blame will get us nowhere.’ Eveanin glances at Caithe, who hadn’t said a word since Faolain. What she thinks of this whole situation, Eveanin can’t guess.

“I’ll be more useful out here,” Pharlt speaks up, his voice tinged with sadness, as it had been since Creepylaugh’s death. “I don’t… I don’t trust myself in fighting Mordremoth mentally.”

“Alright,” Commander says slowly. She glances through the group of those who hadn’t spoken. “Canach, Braham - you’re with me. Eveanin?”

Eveanin pauses. She wants to say no. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to hold up inside Mordremoth’s mind itself. But if I stay, and I turn, that puts Trahearne in danger. Commander can deal with me if needs be… but those who are staying out might not even notice. She finally nods.

“I swear by the Pale Tree,” Caithe says firmly, “none of you are being taken by the dragon on my watch.” She turns and eyes the tunnel they had come through. “Taking on an Elder Dragon and all its hordes. Just like old times, eh, Rytlock?”

“Exactly like old times,” Rytlock grumbles. “Which means you stay where I can see you.”

Eveanin meets Caithe’s eye and gives a little nod. She doesn’t blame the older sylvari, nor distrust her. And a little trust goes a long way in helping against Mordremoth.

“Whoa - “ Rytlock says suddenly. “Three out of four going into Mordremoth’s mind can already hear its voice? Does anyone else - “

Rytlock’s words dwindle to nothing as the world around Eveanin dissolves into blackness and vines and jungle tendrils and Mordremoth’s voice.

You should not have come here. I am everywhere. I am all.

An answering thought - Only in your mind. And I will reduce your mind to ashes before I’m done! That’s Commander. She’d sounded quite ferocious - angry - vengeful.

You are not me. Eveanin herself feels small and tiny, but the words ring true. You may have your claws in my mind and your corruption in my body, but I still walk free.

Stupid dragon doesn’t even have the ability to see beyond its own domain. I don’t think it’s even capable of corrupting non-plants. That’s Braham, probably rolling his eyes and being all overconfident. And unaware of the fact that this is a conversation, not a private thought.

Your ability to be in control of everything seems greatly lacking when you alone of all dragons find it difficult to control your own minions. Canach’s scathing insults - accurate as always and elaborate to the core - are more along the lines of what Eveanin can identify with. Sharp wit and dry humor are probably Mordremoth’s worst enemies.

Bold words, Mordremoth replies at last, his thoughts full of intent - but empty ones.

The vines and tendrils around her writhe into an arena, a battleground, in a form more familiar to Eveanin’s senses than the empty void of pure mindspace. Eveanin glances around - her allies are all here, all still apparently themselves.

“Thanks to you, my legend ended in failure,” the familiar voice of Eir Stegalkin speaks up, scathingly, disappointedly angry. “Fallen, forgotten, and far from home.”

Eveanin opens her mouth to speak - Eir had always belittled herself and said her time had passed - but Braham beats her to it. “I’m done listening to these lies. You’re not my mother - you’re Mordremoth’s toy!”

Eir snaps her fingers.

“Watch out, she’s calling - “ Eveanin throws magic out in front of her to stop the dire wolf from knocking her over. She turns and sprints away, Garm hot on her heels. A domed barrier, pushing him back. Eveanin pauses, gathers herself, and turns on the wolf, blade in her hands. She doesn’t want to fight Garm - she’d fought beside him too often for that - but she forces herself to as she had for the Mordrem. It’s all fake.

“I can’t pin her down,” Commander calls. “She’s too quick!”

“Focus on Garm!” Braham calls back. “Believe me, if you down him, she’ll come running.”

And, just like that, the other three are at her side, kiting Garm away and staying out of Eir’s range, until he falls prone, injured and unmoving. Eir teleports - since when can Eir teleport? - to his side and kneels down.

Eveanin is shocked to see the wolf healing, flesh knitting together far more quickly than any magic she had ever seen before. Eveanin throws Eir back with magic. “Keep her away from Garm!” she says urgently. An arrow from Commander, charged with magic, forces Eir back even further, and Eveanin darts forward with her blade on fire, spreading it to the ground around them and Garm, in case Eir gets back to him.

Eir is finally incapacitated, standing in place in disoriented confusion.

“She looks normal - is this another trick?” Braham asks suspiciously.

“Look there,” Commander calls, pointing across the arena. “A rift opened. Maybe now we can break Mordremoth’s illusion. Let’s widen the rift.”

Canach and the Commander pull the sides of the glowing rift, forcing it open. A huge sucking starts up, like an unplugged drain, drawing Eir and Garm and all corrupted things to it, peeling a layer off the mindscape.

Where is it going? Where did the rift come from? Is that something Trahearne did? I knew ‘mind’ was too vague of a ‘weakness.’ There’s something else at play here.

“Commander, at the end there…” Braham says slowly. “She seemed like herself again.”

“That’s because we overcame Mordremoth’s illusion,” Commander explains. “And the real Eir would be proud of how you did it.”

Eveanin tries not to think resentful thoughts at the Commander. It will only interfere with the mission.

Suddenly, a new illusion appears - a towering vision of Canach, glaring sullenly at them.

“Who are you supposed to be?” real-Canach asks, sounding disgusted.

“Oh, I’m you,” Blighted Canach says, sounding delighted in a mocking sort of way. So this one might be corrupted, but it’s still Canach… that’s terrifying. “What you were meant to be, what you will be: Mordremoth’s loyal servant, and gladly so.” He’s as bad as Faolain! Eveanin sighs, as the corrupted sylvari goes on. “You are strong, but lack focus. So you seek a master. Mordremoth is that master.”

“Is this a joke?” Canach asks, but Eveanin can feel the fear radiating from him, the knowledge of the grain of truth inside the deception. “My will has always been my own. I seek no master and never have. I am no one’s servant.”

“Oh?” Blighted Canach sneers. “Countess Anise would disagree. Accept the truth: Mordremoth needs servants, and you were born to serve.”

Oh thorns, don’t give in to get away from Anise!

“No,” Canach says. “To redeem myself, I choose to serve. As I choose to kill you now!”

And then, Blighted Canach starts throwing bombs everywhere. Ten times as tough as the real Canach. Eveanin finds herself busy dodging them for some time, while Commander and Canach shout encouragement to each other. Finally, Commander finds another rift, and Blighted Canach disappears.

“I was strong enough to change what I was,” Canach says disdainfully. “I will be strong enough not to become… that. Thank you for trusting my strength, Commander. And for lending me yours.”

“You earned it,” Commander replies. “In my world, a willful comrade is always better than an obedient puppet.”

Eveanin glances around nervously. Braham, then Canach. Just me and Commander left, for Mordremoth to create a specialized attack. Eveanin knows what hers is. Mordremoth had been tormenting her with it since the crash. Now, she just wonders what form it will take.

That form turns out to be Trahearne.

“Heh, well,” Commander says with a strained smile, “if we had any doubt these were illusions before… what do you want?” she asks the shade.

But the corrupted vision ignores Commander and turns toward Eveanin instead. “See how she assumes I am targeted at her,” he says, sounding amused. Eveanin doesn’t reply. She can’t. Humiliation burns through her like a scalding acid. The fake goes on; “who would choose you? I needed a commander, not a student. I needed a friend, not an admirer. An encourager, not a parasite.”

Eveanin can’t look away, can’t think through the sluggish mire surrounding her thoughts to protest the dragon’s words. She isn’t sure she’d want to. What she can’t understand is why nobody else is intervening.

It continues. “But you have learned. You have grown; older and wiser. You helped bring Destiny’s Edge together and kill Zhaitan. You even more than proved your worth to Trahearne, helping him through the days after the crash, when his precious Commander had stayed behind on her little egg hunt. And yet he still did not see your true worth, and sent you away. Mordremoth has shown me your potential. Now, I choose you over the Commander.”

Eveanin exhales slowly - matched by the twisting vines at the edge of the arena - and shudders at the… intimacy the shared breath has. Chosen by Trahearne… at long last… a worthy replacement of the Commander… chosen by Trahearne. Eveanin blinks, her mind a foggy haze. You look different. Corrupted. Mordremoth is… Eveanin blinks again, unsure. Mordremoth was the one that revealed my worth to you in the first place.

“Mordremoth is not the enemy,” Trahearne tells her quietly, stepping over to her. “Do you trust me?”

Eveanin nods slowly, her eyes vacant and staring. Yes. Yes, I trust you, Trahearne. His voice - slightly different from normal - speaks directly into her mind. Now we have to fight Tiffany. She is not the Commander anymore. She can join us as a soldier or die.

But… but she isn’t the Commander anymore. She doesn’t matter. I have no quarrel with her. Eveanin doesn’t know why she is protesting. She just feels tired. She doesn’t want to fight any more.

You fight with your mind, here. Your magic is useless. But your mind is strong. The mindscape is different, now; just Eveanin and Trahearne, with the arena fading off a few feet away. The chaotic, loud voices of Tiffany and Canach and Braham are nearby, but she can’t see them. Stop… stop, it hurts. Stop fighting it. It’s wrong.

The voices get louder, but they are still muted, as if behind a door. She can’t understand what they are saying. You’re fighting the natural order. It’s wrong. It’s against nature. Stop, please, it isn’t working. Trahearne, help, they aren’t listening. Make them stop.

The rest of the arena fades away, and Trahearne vanishes - she is back in the void of the mindspace - but she can feel his mind - powerful and terrifying, and she is glad to obey his orders. He shows her how to reach through the darkness and find a voice; to tune in to what is being said.

Commander needs to be shut down. She’d dominated Trahearne and the Pact for too long.

Eveanin, snap out of it, don’t let Mordremoth win! Commander sounds frantic and panicked. Her voice is out of sync with the rhythm of the mind around her.

But Mordremoth has already won. You’re fighting an unwinnable battle. Mordremoth has shown Trahearne who the true Commander should be. You can still fight under him, but I am his second now.

Commander, Trahearne says, his tone mocking, but aligned with Mordremoth’s pattern perfectly. Not loud and incoherent like a drunken norn. You think I would keep you after your near desertion on that wild egg hunt of yours? Eveanin is loyal. Trahearne’s voice fuzzes out - Eveanin can’t hear him anymore - but he’s still on the same wavelength as Mordremoth. Fight Canach, he tells her, his voice discernible for a moment before going distant and incomprehensible again.

Eveanin reaches, and finds him, and is shocked by Canach’s vehemence. He stabs into her mind with a gut-wrenching, discordant yell. Your greatest vulnerability was wanting to follow the great Firstborn around like a blind puppy? You’re more pathetic than I thought.

Eveanin fires back, aren’t you the one who said you admired him for charging at Mordremoth head-on, when you could barely stand it?

Yes, exactly. I admired him for resisting the dragon, not falling blindly into its embrace like a weak-willed sheep!

Like a vent of fresh air, these words puncture the hazy cloud surrounding Eveanin’s mind, the first sparks of returning reason. Yes… but Mordremoth can’t be all bad. He told Trahearne how valuable I am.

I thought you were smarter than this, Canach snorts, disgusted. That’s not actually Trahearne, that’s a farce a blind dolyak could see through.

True enough; Trahearne joining Mordremoth does sound a bit preposterous… Mordremoth is an Elder Dragon… but isn’t this rather like a Wyld Hunt? Our created purpose is to -

Stop, stop, stop. For one, I don’t have a Wyld Hunt and never did, and for two, do you honestly expect me to hare off on some wild quest like Trahearne did, just because our illustrious Mother - or the Dream - or the Menders - told me to?

Well… I suppose not… but -

But nothing.

Eveanin’s thought-pattern shifts slightly, contrasting to Mordremoth’s for a moment as she realizes: but my Wyld Hunt is to kill Mordremoth.

Like a rushing wind blowing clouds out of the sky, Eveanin returns to reason, and the mindscape returns. She is locked in a battle with Canach, somehow, and Tiffany is fighting Trahearne, and Braham is rushing across the arena to another rift.

Eveanin blinks as she reorients herself. That’s not Trahearne, that’s a corrupted copy; Canach isn’t fighting against the rhythm of nature, he’s maintaining independence; Tiffany is still the Commander, and Eveanin is back to being the overlooked shy one.

She breaks from the battle with Canach as a wave of dizziness sweeps over her; a depressing cloud of inertia hangs over her thoughts, which are sluggish and detail-oriented. She puts a hand to her head as pain threatens to split it open, she feels Mordremoth stabbing lances of pain into her brain, drawing single thoughts into obsessive clarity and detail. Not even full thoughts, or really anything; just the obsessing over nothing that brings on a splitting headache.

And fear, anger, rage - all jumbled together. What if Canach doesn’t realize I’ve snapped out of it and what did you do, I could’ve gone on living forever in that fantasy and then… I just wanted to be accepted, chosen, appreciated.

You can be. Just give in.

“One rift wasn’t enough! There’s got to be another one!” Braham hollers.

Eveanin wavers on the edge, her mind relatively clear - but desire, the happily-ever-after she could have, warring with reality, with sense, with not wanting to live in a fantasy for the rest of her life.

A rift opens at her feet, and Trahearne’s voice - the real Trahearne - speaks urgently into her mind. Mordremoth doesn’t have long left to live. Keep fighting. Eveanin doesn’t know if Trahearne had intended to speak to her, or if those were just his current thoughts, but she sees life again. Mordremoth isn’t everything. Mordremoth is not the world, the all-consuming fabric of the world. This fight isn’t a small pocket rebellion that will be wiped out soon - it’s the victory, it’s the future.

It’s what Trahearne is fighting for, risking his own mind to send her into Mordremoth’s mind and free them all. Victory is inevitable. Giving in is just stupid.

So she reaches down to the rift and pulls, Canach with her, and she feels the last of the dragon’s influence drain away. The corrupted vision of Trahearne slides into the rift as well, and then it snaps closed.

“I’m good, I’m good,” Eveanin says quickly, as Commander and Braham look at her. “I… ouch.”

“I didn’t know you…” Commander stops. She looks slightly lost and confused. “You wanted to be Trahearne’s friend,” she says finally.

Eveanin glances away. “Yeah.” Jealousy, that’s what that had been. Commander is just too nice to say it.

“You know just because he didn’t choose you to be his second doesn’t mean he doesn’t value you as a friend.”

Eveanin shrugs. “Yeah, well… it’s clear to see he thinks the world of you.” Not that this doesn’t sting. The Commander will never see Trahearne as more than a friend. But… “Thanks for snapping me out of that, Canach,” she adds. “I… yeah.”

“Sylvari need to stick together when we have monsters trying to turn us into wooden puppets,” he reminds her.

Eveanin cracks a smile. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll do better next fight.”

#eveanin #trahearne #tiffanycommander #Eveanin is sylvari PC up to joining an Order #she knew Trahearne already before Claw Island #and then he chose Tiffany #good fuel for Mordremoth #Tiffany Commander had no idea though #or Trahearne #also Mordremoth is clueless about love #or it would've used her unrequited crush on Trahearne #also Part II of The Heartrending Mind is coming soon #there's only two parts #and yes the name is a play on 'Hearts and Minds' because why not #Eveanin was with Trahearne in the crash #they helped each other #ALSO EEE #I love writing sylvari turning #helps me visualize how the Call works #also Eveanin is smart #this is also called 'me poking holes in Anet's logic for fun'#and I totally headcanon that Mordremoth's weakness isn't its mind #it's Trahearne #so that's where the thing with the rifts came from #Eveanin is a sweet soul #she kind of resents Commander #but doesn't like want her dead or anything #also that one line of Marjory's #please lady show some sense at least #and Rytlock didn't finish his warning

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 4 years

Text

Forward Thinking

TL;DR: Commander contemplates the Scrying Pool and its uses in viewing her past.

“Commander, you alright?” Braham asks.

Tiffany Commander is staring into the Scrying Pool thoughtfully, but she isn’t in a vision. She sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine, Braham. Thanks for asking,” she adds, with a small smile.

“You seem…” Braham trails off for a moment.

“I’m thinking,” Commander replies simply. “So much has happened recently.”

“What did you see in the last vision?”

“Almorra’s death. It… I…” Commander sighs. “I knew it before, but it’s so much more real now. Bangar has to be stopped. Before he does something he’ll regret… and before he corrupts Ryland further.”

“I’m not sure about him, Commander,” Braham tells her.

Commander shakes her head. “I know. I don’t call him an ally, either. But he’s young, and I think his heart is still pure. But if Crecia tries to defend Bangar again, I might have a fit.”

“Bangar tried to kill you,” Braham reminds her. “Even she can’t stay on his side after that.”

“Yeah,” Commander agrees, and falls silent.

The two of them stare at the pool for a long time, before Braham leaves, and the Commander is left alone again.

See visions of the past… with a memento.

Commander does not know if this is a good idea. She’d only recently come out of the years-long funk that Trahearne’s death had started, but she is wiser for it. She knows it might be good for her to see him again, even in a memory. But how will it work, going into my own memory?

Commander does not lack a memento. She carries two on her at any given time - both of her weapons. Caladbolg, of course, and the Pact bow that Trahearne had given her after Zhaitan’s defeat. Her Pact rank pin might work, as well.

But again - is going into a memory of Trahearne… wise? She has by no means forgotten him, but leaving painful memories alone and living for the future, not the past… Trahearne would prefer her to focus on Bangar and Jormag. On mentoring Braham and Taimi.

It would be like a chance to say goodbye, at long last. Finally put this pain to rest. The vision with Caladbolg - so many years ago, now - hadn’t been timely. Commander had been angry, frustrated, resentful - at everything and everybody. She hadn’t been ready to say goodbye.

But now… now she is more than ready. But do I need to? The real transition was when she stopped fighting for the past - for Trahearne’s memory, for his legacy of someday we will kill the last of them, just because HE said it - and started truly fighting for the future, for only then will Tyria be safe. She fights now for Braham, and Taimi, and Rytlock and Crecia - for Jhavi and the Vigil, now leaderless - for Eveanin, still so young, for Canach, who needs to lighten up a little… she fights for the future. Instead of pursuing a desperate revenge fueled by hate and fear and loss, that barely made any sense because Mordremoth was already dead.

Do I need to say goodbye?

Commander doesn’t know. She wants to - oh, she wants to, longs to speak to him one last time, even in memory when he can’t reply, can’t ever know it. But as Commander looks into the pool, wondering if - if she did go in - would she ever come out again? Aurene might drag her out, but then she’d be just as much a mess as she was before, unable to lead in this troubling time.

Or maybe, she would come out again. But she’d go back, again and again. She’d be addicted to it, need it like medicine. Need to hear Trahearne’s words of hope again.

I… I might not be strong enough for that.

Commander grimaces, twining her hand through the fur on Beorn’s back. She’d only just recently become able to admit weakness to herself, instead of bottling it up and trying to ignore it, trying to pretend she was perfect and a strong Commander. But she’d learned - or maybe Aurene had taught her, or Taimi, shown her that pretending just makes it worse in the end. Good thing, too, or my recent injury would have stolen all my self-confidence and left me with shame in front of my allies. No… my friends.

Maybe she can be Trahearne to her friends. She can be hope and a future to them, and maybe teach them to move on if she dies, instead of getting caught in the mire of grief like she was.

Commander stands up, slowly. Maybe some other time. Later. When things calm down a little. She turns and walks away from the Scrying Pool, Beorn at her side, Caladbolg on her back, and her friends awaiting her direction. I’ve come so far.

Besides… maybe normal memory is better, anyway. She can travel to the places her memories actually happened, explore old places anew at her own pace. Normal memory is hers, after all, and she treasures it.

“Hey, uh, Commander?” Rytlock says as she passes him.

“Yeah?”

“I, uh… I know you were close to Almorra. It… couldn’t’ve been easy, seeing her die.”

“It wasn’t. But I’ll be fine. Thanks, Rytlock.”

“No problem, Commander. You know we’re here if you need it.”

“Getting all soft and emotional, Rytlock?” Commander teases.

“No! It’s just that… well, Logan would skin me if I didn’t look after his Hero of Shaemoor.”

“Nice to know you still care,” Commander grins. Well. It’s not Logan’s fault he’s not as awesome as Trahearne… but he still tries. He’s still a friend.

“Commander, there you are!” Eveanin calls, hurrying over. “I haven’t seen you since you came back wounded from that fight with Bangar! Are you okay? You look too cheerful. Is something wrong? Are you hiding something?”

Commander frowns. “Where did you learn to read me so well?”

“Experience. I’ve been your student for eight years, Commander, and you’ve eluded me enough times. I’ve got you now.”

“Ah, well, I truly am sorry, then. I’ve just changed again. But look on the bright side; Bangar murdered Almorra, so now we get to go kill him.”

“Wait, seriously?” Eveanin gapes. “Bangar killed her?”

“Bangar killed her. After trying to delegate to Ryland, who refused.”

“Well, good for him, then,” Eveanin snarls.

“Good for him,” Commander agrees.

#tiffanycommander #trahearne #scrying pool #visions of the past #fluff #feels #tyrias-library #ryland #bangar #rytlock #eveanin #Whisper in the Dark

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 4 years

Text

Wyld Conflict

I am absolutely retconning Ridhais into the personal story. And her relationship with the Commander is... something else.

(And, before I forget, Eveanin is pronounced [eh-VAY-uh-nin].

~oOoOo~

“Excellent,” Trahearne tells the Commander. “And as much as I hate to risk us both on the same mission, I must join you for this one.”

“Oh?” Commander asks curiously. “Why now, in particular?”

“We'll be dealing with ancient Orrian funeral rites and death magic,” Trahearne explains. “My expertise will be necessary to unravel all of the mysteries we'll encounter.”

“I'll be glad to have you with us, Marshal,” Commander replies, nodding. “And don’t worry about the risk,” she adds with a teasing smile. “I’ll protect you.”

“Actually, I think that’s my job,” Ridhais points out.

Commander blinks at her. “That won’t be necessary,” she informs the young sylvari.

“It’s my Wyld Hunt.”

“You’re even younger than Eveanin!”

“That doesn’t matter. It’s my duty to protect the bearer of Caladbolg.”

“It’s my duty to help Trahearne!”

“Versus my Wyld Hunt?” Ridhais challenges.

“You think it’s not a Wyld Hunt?!” Commander asks, aghast. “Half-sylvari over here, hello, my Wyld Hunt is to help Trahearne!”

“You can’t even fight Risen properly!”

“You know,” Trahearne remarks, with a hint of amusement in his voice, “I can protect myself quite well enough.”

Commander raises her eyebrows at him, then turns back to Ridhais. “I can fight Risen, actually, just not with a melee weapon.”

“Yes, you’re restricted in how you can help him! I have full range of weaponry I can use!”

“But do you know how to use them all? And helping Trahearne is a lot more than defending him!”

“You don’t know how to use all the weapons, either, Tiffany,” Ridhais replies.

“My name is Commander, and that means I protect and help him!”

“I am a Valiant of the Wyld Hunt, and that means I protect the bearer of Caldabolg to my own death if I have to!”

“And I protect and help Trahearne, regardless of whether he bears Caladbolg or not,” Commander snipes. “What, are you going to stop if he drops it?”

“No!” Ridhais yelps. “Bearing Caladbolg is more than holding it, or even just professing ownership! It’s a bond through the Dream!”

“Commander - “ Trahearne tries again, but she ignores him.

“Oh, great!” she tells Ridhais. “I have experience with those!”

“And besides,” Ridhais continues, nearly yelling by now, “it’s not like I’d just abandon him! It’s more than just a Wyld Hunt by this point!” She stops suddenly, her eyes wide.

“Oh?” Commander asks curiously. “What is it, then?”

“Nothing!” Ridhais snaps.

“I have a suggestion for a compromise,” Trahearne says, taking advantage of the lull in the argument. “How about you both come along, but neither of you protect me.”

“That’s just ridiculous,” Commander says flatly.

“Yeah, that doesn’t do anything,” Ridhais agrees.

“Well, it’s not like you can both protect me while staying behind,” Trahearne points out, affecting confusion.

“Trahearne!” Commander groans.

“Then you can both come along.”

“You can come along,” Commander tells Ridhais, “but I’ll protect Trahearne. You’re protecting him while you’re here all the time anyway.”

“Oh, and if I kill a single Risen you’ll get on me for protecting him, is that it?” Ridhais asks.

“No,” Commander says grudgingly.

“Alright, I’m good with that,” Ridhais agrees cheerily. “But just for the record, there isn’t really any protecting going on in the heart of Fort Trinity.”

“Now that’s settled, Commander,” Trahearne says hastily before they can start up the argument again, “can you go ready the troops for the mission?”

“Yes, sir!” Commander says with a salute.

As she leaves Caer Aval, however, she runs into Eveanin. “Hey, Commander, I was just thinking,” she says seriously, “I was going to go with the division to take down Zhaitan’s flagship, but I think I should go with you and protect Trahearne. I am a guardian, protecting people is - “

“Noo,” Commander groans, throwing her hands up in the air.

#tiffanycommander #trahearne #ridhais #knight of the thorn #the pact #eveanin #yes eveanin knows exactly what she was talking about #she also knows Ridhais' secret haha #commander doesn't have a clue #neither does Trahearne #for that matter

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 4 years

Text

The first time Tiffany met Trahearne, she did NOT want to see him.

Tiffany Solestrider, long-time Warmaster of the Vigil, her partner, Forgal, and their two trainees, Crusaders Eveanin and Pharlt, have just landed on Claw Island.

“The creature we found hadn’t been in Lion’s Arch long,” Tiffany reminds them. “We may still have time.”

“We have to find Watch Commander Talon and convince him to ready the defenses,” Forgal tells her. “He might not be… agreeable, but he’s the one in charge here.”

“Pharlt, that means no threatening him,” Eveanin says in a teasing tone.

Pharlt pays her no attention. Instead, he is looking at the fortress. “They’re serious about this place,” he observes.

“They built this fortress to last,” Forgal tells him. “Only a complete, full-bore invasion could break these walls.”

“And that’s exactly what’s coming, if the scout was any indication,” Tiffany says with a grimace. She doesn’t even know why she came here. That was one of Zhaitan’s scouts, and she and Zhaitan have a worse-than-normal relationship. For many, many reasons. She can already feel the beginnings of the discomfort that heralds the presence of Risen. They’re still far away… but they’ll come closer.

As the foursome head up to the fort, Tiffany hears some Lionguard talking. “I smell something odd,” one remarks to another. “Do you smell it?”

“Smell? No,” his companion replies. “But the back of my neck keeps itching for some reason.”

“I don’t like this. Something’s definitely wrong.”

“Look, there’s Talon,” Forgal says.

Tiffany can see two figures standing in the archway that leads to the courtyard. As they draw nearer, she can hear that they are engaged in conversation.

“I’ve researched the situation extensively. The Orrians will strike here, on Claw Island.”

Tiffany frowns in an unease that has nothing to do with the Risen. Or maybe everything to do with them.

“Trahearne!” the younger sylvari exclaims. Tiffany stiffens, her ears flicking backwards in mixed shock and stubbornness. Eveanin goes on, “It’s been a long time. You study Orr - have there been any signs of an attack on its way?”

Trahearne. No. She’d left those dreams behind long ago. She hadn’t known that Eveanin knew him - the Crusader and Forgal can handle this conversation. She takes a step back, but Trahearne had already noticed her.

And recognized her, of course he’d recognized her. He couldn’t not recognize her, with the markings on her face.

“Soulstrider?” he asks, and Tiffany notices Eveanin blink in confusion.

“The Risen are coming,” she says, her tones short and clipped. She can’t allow herself to begin dreaming again. Trahearne frowns slightly, and turns back to Eveanin, but his eyes keep flicking over to her. Tiffany tries to think about something else. It’ll be less… painful that way.

As Forgal and Talon join in the conversation, Tiffany finds her gaze drawn southward. The Risen are coming. She hadn’t faced Risen in five years - not close enough to do combat with them, in any case. But she only came today because she would face them in combat.

But I don’t know how. Oh, she knows plenty enough about wielding the greatsword she carries, had studied extensively how to quickly and efficiently ‘kill’ the Risen… but she had never actually done so. She can’t.

She had only come here because she had to, and she still thinks she will only be a liability here. Nappa had tried everything to figure out what her problem with Risen is, but even that necromancer had been unable to cure her. And now, with Trahearne here… she wishes more than ever that she hadn’t come. She could have gone to get backup from the Vigil, and not ever thought about her youthful desires to go to Orr.

“Tiffany,” Forgal calls, jerking her out of her thoughts. “You and Pharlt can go find Deputy Brakk, warn him of the attack. The rest of us will speak to Deputy Mira.” Tiffany nods, grateful that Forgal is splitting them up this way. He knows that she doesn’t want to be around Trahearne.

Word seems to spread fast. The Lionguard are already discussing the news of the Risen.

“Deputy Brakk,” she says upon seeing the asura. “There are Risen coming, and Talon isn’t listening. Are you ready to handle them?”

“Tell the Watch Commander Talon that the gunnery emplacements are ready,” Brakk replies. “The fortress here on Claw Island houses more 24-pounders than a ship of the line. We’ll be ready to fight the Orrians, don’t doubt that. Inform Deputy Mira - she’s in charge of the beach patrols.”

Tiffany glances toward the beaches, where Forgal, Eveanin and Trahearne are talking to another Lionguard. Everything seems normal, peaceful even, so far. She could almost imagine this being her life, she and her friends and Trahearne - except for the constant itching that is spreading over her body. The Risen are getting closer. She relentlessly quashes the momentary desire - no, soulful longing - for ‘peaceful’ to be her life.

The itching turns to pain - light pain, at first, before it gets fiercer. Mentally, she predicts when the Risen will come out of the water. She guesses that they’ll be coming for Trahearne first, and her predictions on when are nearly spot-on. Pharlt rushes down to join the fight, but Tiffany stays back, biting her lip as the pain of the Risen washes through her like a wave.

She stays away even when the Risen are defeated, and silently rejoins the group only when they enter the fortress, taking care to stay in Forgal’s shadow.

“Do you think the commander will listen to us now?” Trahearne is asking.

“I hope he does,” Forgal says with a grimace. He glances at Tiffany, his gaze asking if she is alright. She nods imperceptibly, trying not to look in Trahearne’s direction.

“What will we do if he does?” Pharlt asks. “They’ll just press on to Lion’s Arch. Will we retreat from there, too?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Forgal tells him.

“Even with all my research, we still know so little about defeating them,” Trahearne worries.

I really need to get out of here as soon as possible. Tiffany grimaces. Her father’s Wyld Hunt might as well be her own, with the way her chest aches with the desire to help Trahearne. How, she doesn’t know, even if she could. She glances at him, only to find the Firstborn looking at her with an inscrutable expression. Her eyes snap to staring blankly ahead again. She is not going to think about this. It’s safer that way.

“A paltry attack,” Talon sneers as they approach. “It barely ruffled our feathers. Is that all they brought?”

“There will be more,” Trahearne tells the charr. “Much more. Keep watching the sea.”

“You’re a scholar, not a general, Firstborn,” Talon snorts. “Why should we trust you?”

Tiffany’s hand twitches. Her ears flick back again. But she doesn’t move or say anything, much as she desperately wants to - not that she knows what she would say. Just something. Anything. No, no, no! I can’t do this. I need to not be here. And she has Risen, debilitating pain, and a whole battle to look forward to. With Trahearne. Who may or may not know that she literally can’t stand when around Risen.

Pain blossoms, every nerve ending screaming. Tiffany stiffens, and inhales sharply, biting her tongue to keep from crying out.

“The fortress is under attack!” Mira screams. Not that Tiffany hadn’t already known that. “Ready on the wall!” Mira continues. “Hostiles incoming!”

“There are too many!” Brakk hollers. “They’ve breached the wall! We’re being over - ”

Talon cuts over Brakk’s voice, shouting over an unnatural wind that had sprung up. “They’re catapulting abominations onto the western wall! Repel the invaders!”

“There’s something in the clouds!”

Tiffany glances up, only to see a shadow flitting through the dark clouds.

“We’ve held out against worse than this,” Talon snarls. “I defy the dragon to take our island! YOU HEAR ME, ZHAITAN? DEFY!”

Tiffany would liked to have said something sarcastic, but her eyes are on the Risen. Forgal, Eveanin, Pharlt, Trahearne and the Lionguard are fighting the Risen, but Tiffany doesn’t dare get closer to help them.

But the Dead Ship in the harbor… Tiffany can sink that with a trebuchet. She hurries over to one that isn’t surrounded by Risen. “Protect me,” she whispers to her bear, Beorn, who - lucky for him - does not have her inhibiting condition that keeps her away from Risen.

The pain is nearly unbearable, this close to the Risen on the wall, and her hands are shaking as she loads the trebuchet. On the beach below, she can see Eveanin and Trahearne fighting through the Risen to get to Deputy Mira and what remains of her squad. Snarling to herself, she fires the trebuchet. Wish I could fight Risen like that, she thinks sourly as she watches the missile sail toward the Dead Ship. It misses.

“G-great,” she snarls, falling to one knee. She glances at Beorn, who is keeping the Risen off her, at least, but not far enough away. Grasping the wooden frame of the trebuchet, she hauls herself upright again, but she leans heavily on it for support. Her muscles aren’t working right. She can’t possibly reload, aim, and fire the trebuchet.

“Soulstrider, are you injured?” comes Trahearne’s voice from behind her. “No,” she snaps. “I’m trying to sink this ship.” It’s true - she’s just in pain. There’s absolutely no physical reason for it. But she still can’t stand on her own. At least the pain doesn’t multiply when there’s more than one Risen.

Trahearne frowns at her for a long moment before he joins Beorn in fighting off the Risen, which helps immensely. When the Risen are far enough away that she can trust herself to stand, she goes about shakily reloading the trebuchet. And wishing with all her heart that it had been anybody else who’d come to see what was wrong with her. Forgal would have understood. Eveanin or Pharlt would have known what was going on. The Lionguard would have not cared and just started helping. Trahearne…

She can’t go to Orr, and wishing for it isn’t going to change a thing. If anything, this battle is only reinforcing that idea that she is completely stuck on the continent of Tyria. At the same time as doing its best to break her heart about it all over again.

Snarling vehemently, she fires the trebuchet again...

Right before a charging abomination rams right into the trebuchet, breaking it and throwing Tiffany back. Tiffany screams, the sudden agony of the presence of Risen unbearable. The pain of where she’d fallen on the pavement of the courtyard pales in comparison. She curls into a protective ball as the pain washes over her. She bites her lip to keep from screaming, but tears are coursing down her face.

There’s nothing to be done about it except killing the abomination, and she almost literally can’t move of her own free will. Her muscles are spasming and she has to lock her arms together to keep them relatively still, but she’s still shaking uncontrollably. It would have been better if there was anything to do about it - if she could even feel like she was doing anything about it - but the pain isn’t even centered on one spot. It just is.

“We did it!” she hears Mira yell. “It’s sinking! A small victory.”

Tiffany dimly realizes that she must have hit the ship. Well… I never thought I’d kill a Risen.

The pain vanishes abruptly, and she realizes that Trahearne and Beorn must have killed the abomination. There are still nearby Risen, but they aren’t as close as before, so the pain is less.

She tries to stand, but her limbs are still shaking uncontrollably from the aftershock of the pain. Beorn is already at her side, and Tiffany lifts a shaky hand to pet his nose. “You alright, boy?” she asks, her voice coming out in a raspy whisper.

“I think the more pressing concern is whether you are alright,” Trahearne tells her, offering his hand to help her up.

“I’m fine now,” she assures him, allowing him to pull her to her feet. “Thanks for the help. Is Claw Island safe?”

Trahearne only points back to the harbor, where there are now dozens of ships. “Oh, no…”

“Talon, this is no normal attack!” Mira exclaims to her commander. “The Lionguard cannot hold! We’re overwhelmed!”

“Claw Island has stood for nearly a hundred years. We’ve faced a dragon champion and survived! It cannot fall! We’ll fight them to the last soldier! To the last sword! We’ll never surr - “ He is cut off by a shell from a Dead Ship hitting him.

Tiffany growls. “That champion killed my mother,” she mutters, as she half-limps toward the charr. “Talon wasn’t there for that.”

“Medic!” Deputy Mira shouts. “We need a medic over here! Commander Talon, hold on. You’ll be alright.”

“Quiet, Mira,” Talon tells her. “Soldiers don’t need lies. Retreat to the city. Tell the commodore…” he is interrupted by a hacking cough, “…we did all we could…”

“By your will, Commander. I swear to you… this isn’t over,” Mira declares.

“Mira, the island is overwhelmed,” Forgal says as he hurries over with Eveanin and Pharlt. “We have to evacuate the Lionguard and ignite the watchtowers to warn the city.”

“No,” Mira counters. “You’ll never make it to the beacon with these Risen monstrosities chasing you. We’ll have to fight our way back. The Lionguard will make a stand in the courtyard while you go for the tower. Gods willing, the Risen will be too busy fighting us to stop you.”

“Your bravery is commendable, Deputy Mira,” Trahearne tells her, “but your soldiers cannot survive a protracted battle against this many undead.”

“It’s the duty of every Lionguard to lay down our lives to protect our city. If that’s what it takes, that’s exactly what we’ll do.”

“Only one person needs to light the watchtowers,” Forgal points out. “The rest of us can help you. Tiffany?”

“I’m on it,” Tiffany replies, turning to head toward the watchtower.

“We should stay together,” Trahearne says. “I’ll come with you.”

Tiffany feels like slamming her head against the wall. She does not need to deal with this right now. At least before they didn’t have time to talk. Now…

But there will be Risen on the way up, and Beorn can’t deal with them alone. She nods once and starts toward the stairs. Trahearne falls in beside her. Tiffany keeps staring straight ahead in silence.

“I’m sorry about your father,” Trahearne says quietly. “I understand if you blame me for his death, but I thought I should say so.”

“Blame you? No. I appreciate your concern, however.” Tiffany wishes Forgal were here to distract the sylvari, however well-intentioned he might be.

“You don’t - ? Then why - ?”

“Because I can’t fight Risen.”

“I have studied Orrian creatures for twenty-five years, but even I rarely engage in combat with them,” Trahearne tells her. “I find it quite terrifying.”

Tiffany doesn’t reply. Let him think she’s afraid of them if he likes.

Suddenly, she pauses. “Wait.” She peers upward toward the watchtower. There are no Risen. She glances down at the courtyard, where she can pick out her friends among the Lionguard. There are Risen closer than that. She can feel it. She glances up again. “Can Risen stealth?” she asks Trahearne.

He shakes his head. “No. Why do you - “

“Are there any more… magically potent Risen that can affect things from further away?”

“I don’t understand.”

Tiffany points up. “Can any Risen fly?”

“Only the champions,” Trahearne replies.

“By all Six Gods, there’s a champion here,” Tiffany snarls. Of course champions would have a wider range of effect. “Maybe more than one.”

“How can you - ?”

“I can feel them,” Tiffany shoots back, now mounting the steps by twos and praying she can make it to the top. Trahearne hurries after her.

Tiffany is shuddering by the time she reaches level ground, but at least she’s still capable of moving with any degree of reliability.

“Feel them how?” Trahearne asks her.

“They’re pain. I can’t get too close to them. I’ve never been able to figure out why.” Tiffany hurries to the control panel on the watchtower and jabs the button. “Let’s get out of here,” she says, as the three towers light up one by one. “Hopefully it doesn’t attack Lion’s Arch immediately.”

Trahearne glances at the sky, worry clear on his face. Tiffany hurries down the steps as quickly as she can. She stumbles suddenly as the pain mounts exponentially higher.

“Forgal!” She hollers, screeching more than shouting. “There’s a champion here! We need to evacuate, now!”

She comes to a halt, not trusting her legs to carry her safely down the last flight of stairs. “Retreat!” She hollers.

Trahearne catches up to her. “Are you alr - “

“No!” Tiffany snaps. She sinks down to sit on one of the steps before her legs can collapse. “I - just - get down there and get them off the island! Beorn can protect me,” she adds as she sees his hesitation. She bites her lip to keep from crying out as the pain increases. “I’ll be down in a moment. Go!”

Then, the champion flies right past them, and Tiffany faints.

“ - can’t form a defense and still get them all aboard,” Eveanin’s voice is saying as Tiffany wakes up.

“Hmm,” Forgal murmurs. “A heroic but nearly impossible task, against great odds and an unrelenting enemy.”

“Forgal,” Tiffany says slowly. The pain isn’t gone, but it’s more bearable. The champion must be on the other side of the island. “What are you planning?”

“Get the wounded to safety,” Forgal tells her - really all of them, but he’s addressing her. “Warn Lion’s Arch. One day, you’ll come back and retake this island - of that, I have no doubt.”

“Not me,” Tiffany whispers. “I can’t. You can’t just go die - not now! Not after - “

“Tiffany,” Forgal says, kneeling down beside her and speaking urgently. “I lost my mate and children to the dragons. I thought my legend was buried with them, that I had no one to walk in my footsteps and tell my tale. Now, that’s changed, my friend. Thank you for being my legacy. Tell my tale at the hearth fires, where the skaalds sing of heroes.”

“I should be the one to hold them off,” Tiffany tells him. “I’m useless anyway, I might as well do something - “

“No!” Forgal shakes his head vehemently. “You can’t hold them off - you’ve already fainted once today. They’d walk all over you and turn you into a Risen - I’m sorry, Tiffany, but you’d only buy us about ten seconds. You can do more good than that by staying alive. Go. I will not fail.”

Without waiting for a reply, Tiffany’s only friend turns and heads into the fortress. “But so can you,” Tiffany whispers, reaching after him. “No…”

“You may win the battle, dragon,” Forgal roars, “but you will never defeat our spirit! I am Forgal, son of Kern. My father was the last Dolyak Shaman! I am a Warmaster of the Vigil! You will never make me kneel!”

“Come on, Tiffany,” Eveanin says urgently, pulling Tiffany to her feet. “Even Forgal can only buy us so much time.”

Tiffany imagines Forgal fighting all those Risen. She allows Eveanin to lead her to the ship. What wouldn’t she give to be able to fight Risen like that. Even imagining doing so almost feels painful.

#tiffanycommander #eveanin #forgal #trahearne #pharlt #claw island #risen #also extra lore I added in about Claw Island being attacked already #that was like twenty-some years ago #also Trahearne and Tiffany akljf;alkdjfa;lkdjf #because they knew each other when Tiffany was like an infant #because her father is one of the two unnamed Firstborn #and his Wyld Hunt was to help Trahearne and then he died #because extra-lore that I haven't posted here yet but it's awesome #tyrias-library

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 2 years

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I'm slowly composing a story journal for a six-character PS run. Three characters are mine, three my dad's. (I haven't really written much about his characters except from my characters' PoVs.)

The trick is that my three are all writing their journal, and they need to have different voices and styles.

I started with Tiffany Teine, human mesmer, and wrote it in the first-person because just made the most sense.

But I can't write them all in the first-person or that would get confusing on PoV switches.

So! Three characters, three different kinds of PoV that reveal things about each character.

Tiffany Teine is a mesmer, and in my headcanon mesmers need to keep a grounded sense of self so they don't get lost between all their illusions and forget which one is real. So, she writes in first-person - "I did X." She's grounded inside her own head looking out at the world.

However, Ninuvinan tries to keep herself straight with other people; she's currently struggling with letting other people tell her what to think and believe, so she writes in the third person to help with that. Caithe said the Nightmare Court are evil and irredeemable; Ninuvinan, however, is a separate person and doesn't necessarily believe that.

Eveanin is a guardian, and she joined the Vigil; her whole theme is protection and loyalty and saving lives. She's looking at herself to see what she can do to better the world; what's her duty in this situation; how can she help. She writes in the second person, almost talking to herself to remind herself what all needs to happen but also what her limits her. What can YOU do to help? Don't worry about everyone else, what is YOUR duty? Don't try to do everything yourself; others will handle that, what can YOU do?

#tiffany teine #eveanin #ninuvinan #gw2 #human #sylvari #mesmer #magic #caithe

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 2 years

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11, 29, 45 for Tiffany and 25, 34, 37 for Eveanin from the Character Solidifying ask xD

Oh, thanks for all the questions! Let's see how long this gets lol.

Tiffany Commander

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

When she was younger, she saw herself as smart - and she is - but time has humbled her. No plan lasts after first contact, or whatever the saying is, and she's had the best-laid plans backfire in her face (e.g. Tonn, all of HoT, a good chunk of S3 and PoF, Aurene right left and center, etc.)

Pretty much she's lost all confidence in being smart or smarter than average or IQ points or whatever - she just does her best, and a lot of the time her best is better than somebody else's best, but most of the time it doesn't matter and all her plans can do is leave more salvageable piece afterward. But! She always does her best and hopes for the best, because sometimes it works out alright. (Looking at you, Dragonstorm.)

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Hoo boy. As of IBS, I'm not quite sure; I don't consider her to be a main character in IBS - she's the old mentor to the new hero (Braham) - and I think her biggest weakness there is that she has too much confidence in Braham. She doesn't realize how not-ready he is, and she doesn't step up enough to coach him through it, and she doesn't take the reins and say "let me handle this." Maybe she believes failure is the best way to learn, maybe she half-believed Jormag and thought this was a good, low-stakes way for Braham to learn, who knows.

Pre-IBS, though... let's start from the beginning, since this all strings together! PS she could pull her weight in the military arena, but (as described in my last post) she was greatly lacking in the personal relationships department. Let's say Trahearne was as good (or better) for her as she was to him; but emotionally she was rather needy during that time because those needs had gone unfulfilled for years.

S1 through HoT she got cocky; she overconfident and thought she could handle things she couldn't; Scarlet, Mordremoth, Glint's egg, etc. and the result of that was in S3, after things had begun crashing around her with increasing regularity (Trahearne was the worst, but by no means the last), she was eventually just trying to do everything herself, culminating in Kiel's line "one individual against a God of War? ...I'm sure it'll be alright", mostly because she felt emotionally betrayed by everyone (except Taimi) who left for their own things when she was so emotionally vulnerable.

PoF she had to learn to trust her allies again, S4 was mostly about reforging all the old ties of unity, reassuming the role (if not the official rank) of Commander - but she had to work for it. She had to figure out why she believed in this so much, separately from her blind devotion to Trahearne... basically this was a coming-of-age for her, in a sense. Joko helped provide a counter-force that basically asked her: what are you trying to do? Why? Don't you know it's bad for the world? And I think General Almorra and the Vigil helped her re-form more consciously around those ideals (which she'd believed before, but more because she needed something to believe in and less because they were good ideals).

And then, yeah, by IBS she'd learned the same lesson about trusting her allies so many times that she forgot to differentiate between "large organizations" and "one individual with the burden of prophecy" who needed her help and direction.

That one got longish lol.

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

Tiffany Commander greatly tries to be responsible, though she fails sometimes. She definitely tries to think first, and when she can't she scrambles, second-guesses, and doubts herself. For example, I've seen a lot of criticism about some of the lines in PoF where the Commander says "I don't want to kill you" - I feel like a lot of the Balthazar storyline was rather rushed, like the Commander was always re-acting to Balthazar and, despite some on-the-fly conversations with Taimi, never really sat down and had a proper think about it.

Once she has had a proper think about things, though, she can get very passionate. I wouldn't call her a visionary, but she has lots of great ideas!

Eveanin

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

I... honestly don't know. She has Sylvari Commander Syndrome, meaning she was thrown into war before she could really get settled into living yet. After HoT she took some downtime alongside Ridhais until S4-ish, so that's a few solid years of settling into life.

I don't know what she did in those years yet. I imagine they were incredibly formative for her, but you know, she might qualify as a meme character - she's based on my loyalty to Trahearne - and without Trahearne I'm not sure what she does. I might take the various pieces of myself that never made it into Commander's busy life and give those to her (creative writing XD), but I have yet to figure out which of those she gets and how she got them.

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

Oof, a bit of a hard one out of context, hey? (...those aren't examples, they're direct questions. A situation is not described). Oh well, I'll do my best!

I wouldn't say she feels any of these as a general mood or vibe.

Well - except for Canach. She sorta vibes with his dripping sarcasm, his constant quips in HoT helped her significantly. If I do much with her character in the future I think Canach'll be involved somehow. Not sure how yet though. But I can absolutely imagine these two potentially ganging up together with twin contemptuous, superior looks and crashing some bar. (In a sibling way, with her trying to mimic her older brother and perhaps failing spectacularly. Maybe this is what Canach was doing after The Head of the Snake lol.)

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

I'm... gonna say she has an amazing imagination. Mordremoth took advantage of that some in HoT, painting good mind pictures and convincing her they were real. (It was most effective inside Mordremoth's mind.) I wouldn't say she daydreams much or dwells on the past, and despite her quick foray into adventure and battle, she's never had a super ton of responsibility to weigh her down. She's definitely not a worrier; she's a hoper. I would describe her as a visionary, with hopes and plans for the future and all that.

~oOoOo~

So that's that! Thanks again for these asks, you made me have thoughts about Eveanin, and I need to have those more haha. Also thoughts about my Commander - as you can see, despite my claims that I haven't really developed past HoT/S3, I do have a general sense of my Commander the rest of the time thanks to canon story missions. (Eveanin gets cut off hard though, lol.)

Very, um, character solidifying XD.

Thanks again for the asks!!

#eveanin #tiffanycommander #trahearne #canach #mordremoth #hot #dragonstorm #ibs #braham #ridhais #taimi #balthazar #gw2

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 3 years

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Masterpost

Notice to those who didn't catch it: I'm changing my blog's primary content from GW2-only to more main personal blog. (Original post here.)

My main topics will be

#Miraculous ladybug (#mlb)

#children and #homeschooling

Guild Wars 2 (tagged #gw2)

The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings (#tolkien)

#christianity (also tagged #faith)

my fic writing (tagged with the name of fic + fandom + #writing)

random other stuff (added to this list as needed)

Masterlist of my high-quality original posts, sorted by topic and length (may make separate fandoms in separate posts at some point):

Multifandom character study (examining the theme of sacrifice in my blorbos) fandoms: the Hobbit, WoT, GW2, Cadfael Chronicles

Story Study: Luka Couffaine in S4E2 Truth (strong of character, of heart, of will)

Middle-Earth Content:

Content Review: The Hobbit (book and movies!)

Storyline Study: LotR (books only)

Character Study: Bilbo Baggins (press your comfort zones, y'all)

Guild Wars 2 Content:

Series posts:

Ascended Reborn: Knight of the Thorn (P1, P2, P3, P4) - WIP

Character Study: Braham (P1, P2, magic, P3, P4, S1 Recap)

"Commander of Death" (P1, P2)

The Heartrending Mind (P1)

The Chronicles of the Tiffany: Phillipe (P1, P2, P3, P4, P5, P6, P7, P8)

'Studies'

Character Study: Trahearne ('grey morality' or not?)

Character Study: Trahearne (his relatability as a character, focusing on loneliness)

Storyline Study: Personal Story (in light of some posts on Tolkien's works)

Storyline Study: S2 (the Shadow of the Dragon traumatized the Commander)

Storyline Study: S3 (why we didn't kill Jormag + Primordus before IBS had the chance to happen)

Storyline Study: S3 (One Path Ends-inclusive)

Storyline Study: Bangar and Almorra and also playing IBS as a Vigil main.

Character Study: Logan Thackeray (on love and inner demons)

Storyline Study: Order Mentor (but really all about Forgal)

Character Study: Caithe (and a part 2, through the eyes of sylvari PC)

Character Study: Sieran

Location Spotlight: Macha's Landing, LA

Storyline Study: S2 to IBS (high-level overview of GW2 and the Commander's trauma written just after Shadow in the Ice)

Character Study: Ryland (feat. Rytlock) - with planned sequels featuring Braham and the Commander

Character Study: Taimi (inspired by that moment she was arguing with Braham in Champions: Truce)

Character Study: Canach

Storyline Study: Sea of Sorrows (feat. Macha) - the thematic messaging of SoS

Headcanon:

Sylvari: Body Heat, Photosynthesis, and Energy (science! and headcanons!)

How norn life expectancy affects cultural trauma (feat. Forgal Kernsson)

Norn phases of life (norn lifespan affects great-great-grandchildren)

The origin of the name Soulkeeper (featuring Bangar as 'abusive boyfriend')

Shadow Signs (as storytelling aids for skaalds!)

Dreamscape (mindscapes versus sylvari pre-life visions/memories)

Hunting Trophies (headcanon based on norn tutorial!)

Headcanon Time: Ranger Pets feat. Tiffany Commander (plus her weapons and magic use!)

The Role of Story in Norn Culture (feat. Ancestor Battles)

Norn Headcanons (a collection of smaller headcanons about norn)

Snowflakes (what's the norn take on 'all snowflakes are unique?')

VotP: A Legend in the Making (a Forgal backstory thing... not a headcanon? more of a one-off fic?)

Guardian Magic feat. Braham

OC Stuff:

Notebook Asks: Tiffany about Taimi

Notebook Asks: Tiffany about Gorrik and Blish

Notebook Asks: Tiffany about Rox

Introducing: Vriré and also her OC Interview

Introducing: Tiffany Oksuré (Commander of the Ascended Reborn timeline)

Introducing: Ninuvinan (and Part 2 of my character study on Caithe)

Vibe Assocations: Eveanin and a further vibe check

The Structure of the Vigil (headcanons relevant to my Vigil OCs)

Introducing: Stringpole

Main Timelines:

The Chronicles of the Tiffany (the Commander is my main, Tiffany Commander). Exclusive tags: tiffanycommander, timeline one and the chronicles of the tiffany.

Building a Network (the Commander TBD). My main isn't in this timeline. This is the timeline where my dad and I play three different characters together (plus siblings). Exclusive tags: lord zedyin, ferrocy, ninuvinan, tiffany teine, ivmara siegebound, delormiz needsiege, and timeline two.

Dreams Versus Dragons (there are multiple ""Commanders""). My (technically unannounced) WIP. This is Vriré's native timeline. Exclusive tags: wip and timeline three.

LWRP Timeline (the Commander is Pharlt). My main is not the Commander because [LWRP] doesn't let us RP the Commander :P. Exclusive tags: timeline four.

Other Timelines:

Commander Adrien

If the Commander Stayed Mad At Braham

Violinist AU (Tiffany Sterling)

Tag Definitions:

commander poobah - 'universal Commander' thoughts

tell my tale - posts about the backstory I've been writing for Forgal's

#masterpost

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queer-as-used-by-tolkien · 2 years

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I'm also kinda curious about how you characterize Ridhais in your stories since iirc she plays a bigger role? You don't need to answer this if you don't want though, just curious 😃

Ooh, Ridhais! Thanks for the ask!

I haven't quite gotten to Ridhais yet, I just know she does play a bigger role - in my current main fic which is about to go into the Orrian campaign, I'm going to include Ridhais because canonically she was there. Since I'm going to get into sylvari lore/headcanonry that also centers around Caladbolg, which will be a significant part of the story, yeah I'll be drawing on her expertise some, although I'm not currently sure how else she'll contribute to the story.

However, in the story of my Commander - I've spoken about Eveanin before and mentioned that she and Ridhais both have crushes on Trahearne (who is blind to that and has eyes only for the Commander). So that's a thing, and I don't think that'll exactly change when I get there with my main fic? It'll definitely be offscreen though because I have no idea how to write romance or anything.

But the major way I'm planning on characterizing her is probably going to be a mix of the two things we know about her: she's ridiculously young (younger than the sylvari Commander, imagine that) and has a Wyld Hunt relevant to Caladbolg.

Ridhais post-HoT gave me distinct 'tired veteran' vibes, like - she's only three years old at that point, she didn't even have early-PS buildup like the Commander had - she's still young and you can tell, but she's learned a lot and she's older.

One thing that's always puzzled me about Ridhais is how she knew all the stuff about Caladbolg that she knew; did she learn it in her Dream? I feel like it's not common knowledge, but it's definitely portrayed a lot like 'her Wyld Hunt magically granted her this knowledge' - almost as if they were trying to give her a similar role to Trahearne, but forgetting that Trahearne paid in decades for the knowledge he has and that Wyld Hunt does not equate to knowledge just by itself.

I mean, Trahearne's not the sort to say 'you are too young, go home and get some experience' because a) he didn't say that to the Commander, probably because b) it's her Wyld Hunt and Trahearne of all people would not deny someone the ability to get close to their Wyld Hunt.

I really hate how they added Ridhais in to the PS by word-alone retcon (they didn't actually go back and even just add her model in the background of the instances) and so they didn't even think about what would have been impacted by that. For example, the cleansing of Orr. If I were Ridhais I would have wanted to be there - quite apart from hero-worshipping Trahearne and being his literal bodyguard, this is a significant milestone for Caladbolg and she should've been there? But canonically she hardcore was not there and Trahearne even says that he and the Commander are alone!

Now, for my Commander's timeline, she and Ridhais have a stiff rivalry with regards to protecting Trahearne, so all the times Commander was there and Ridhais was not can be waved away with "Commander won the argument that time," and Ridhais won all the off-screen arguments where Trahearne was leading armies and doing map metas (which he absolutely did, you cannot change my mind) while the Commander was doing missions Trahearne didn't accompany them on.

But that only works for my Commander, so what about everyone else? I need to understand Trahearne's view of Ridhais during the PS so that I know how he would approach her as a character, because I work with systems; Trahearne has this system of thought regarding Ridhais that he had in canon (or that I made up for headcanon) and that system of thought then interacts with his systems of thought for my other characters and with the interactions of other characters, and that creates dynamic stories. All my characters have systems like this that then must interact with the unpredictability of life and other people.

Now, in greater scale than that, my Commander isn't in the main fic - I have a multi-Commander story and none of them are my actual Commander - and events are going to play out wildly differently from canon, so at that point I can pretty much make a case for Ridhais being anywhere at any time, regardless of where she was in canon.

But it's just really frustrating when a million tiny details about the PS and about my understanding of Trahearne's overall mindset (taking into account people he knows, places he's been to, information he has, and his opinions on those) change without, apparently, Anet putting in any thought whatsoever to what would change.

I've said it before and I'll say it now: there is a lot of information that maybe couldn't make it into the game for one reason or another, but they should have put it in a blog post or a Guild Chat or a livestream of any sort, especially something as major as adding in a whole new character to a pre-existing storyline.

Anyway... this devolved into me being frustrated at the lack of information, which is par for the course while I'm inventing new headcanons lol.

Wasn't quite what you asked, but that's all my thoughts on Ridhais haha. It's not much, but then, I haven't actually written the thing yet. It'll get better then lol.

#ridhais #trahearne #tiffanycommander #PS #HoT #Caladbolg #gw2 #sylvari #Wyld Hunt

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