#except i actually like my major so

[clouvu]

Save me french yuri... Save me

#genshin impact #arledrone #sandrone #arlecchino #haha remember when we all thought that sandrone and arlecchino would both show up in fontaine and be gay together? #good times.... good times #jk i'm ready to end it all actually #I KNOW WE HAVE LIKE ONE LAST MAJOR FRENCH PATCH BEFORE NATLAN BUT IVE JUST ABOUT LOST ALL HOPE #the way that literally every wlw arle pairing got fed so well following arle's drip marketing EXCEPT for arledrn... hate it here so bad #anyways shipping aside HOW is it possible that the frenchiest of french harbingers with heavy ties to machinery #and like two major world quests tied to specifically to her lore and is even MENTIONED of being present in fontaine #also being one of the first harbingers ever mentioned dating back all the way to the description of chode's teaser trailer #just???? doesnt show up?????? #Sandy enjoyers are stronger than any us marine because my GOD are we struggling out here #anyways ignore the fact that I completely forgot to draw sandy's wind up key it was hard drawing through the tears #(actually it was cause i half-assed this doodle but we dont talk about that)

[aroacehanzawa]

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

#long answer is i have beef with the direction that the bsd manga has taken #it only superficially resembles the beloved mystery and character-driven detective agency story with atsushi as the main character #i'm dissatisfied with major developments like killing off fyodor and reviving him and pulling this #PSYCH his ability wasn't what you thought it was. with zero foreshadowing or buildup #because the manga has become full of marvel-movie type plot twists that serve little to no coherent narrative purpose except shock factor #it cheapens the story and it cheapens the development of characters and it cheapens the reader's experience #because we can't speculate and we can't draw connections and parallels and engage with the story on a deeper level #what connections there exist (for example between manga and anime) are shoehorned in after the popularity of the anime and #specific characters (e.g. fyodor who was shoehorned into untold origins in the anime) and mostly the characters who bring in money #i.e. fyodor and dazai and chuuya and their relationships especially soukoku. all this at the expense of characters like atsushi or #the majority of the female cast. who have been MIA for god knows how long and who were barely given frame each in the anime's finale #bsd treatment of its female characters has been subpar shounen level at best and now they're completely sidelined #as with most of the original cast and the original themes of the story. in fact i struggle to identify a coherent overarching theme #for the current arc. other than military action scifi movie go brrrr #compared to early arcs where each chapter had a meaningful message to say about the importance of living and what it means to stay alive and #keep going and why we are fighting to keep important people in our lives and to keep ourselves alive #and what it means to belong somewhere and what it means to be good or bad and how your place of belonging affects that #as a long term reader i just feel betrayed and disappointed. by how a story with complex and vibrant characters has become another #generic cashgrab shounen. and i mourn for the lost potential it had and everything the series has build up #only to have plot points abandoned at a whim. #so that's why i'm a hater now 👍 #i know a lot of my bsd mutuals are still big fans of bsd so i try not to be obnoxious about it and mainly keep it comedic #like i don't actually hate the manga. because it's so important to me. and i respect the creators of the manga and anime #but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔 #sorry if there are typos i wrote all this on mobile and can't edit the tags. i didn't wanna put any of this in the main post

[sn0wbat]

sparkle on, tiberius ✨

#my art #low stakes 🦇 #my old friend crimson-catalyst helped with the shoes!! basically drew the shoe sketch while i slept. please check out his art he's great #anyway not many vampires sparkle in my lore. like at all. it's a super rare trait even among the daywalkers. tiberius is a weird exception #most vampires just kinda burn. or crack. and otherwise can't deal with the sun very well #and most daywalker vampires - upon sun exposure - get these dark ashy marks on their skin instead #so most vampires don't even know sparkling like this is a thing that is possible #he sure is sparkling like a MARBLE STATUE ✨ (do they actually sparkle?? idk man it's probably just a figure of speech at this point) #happy birthday silly boy #anyway his birthday is feb 2nd and he'd be uhhh. 2144 years old today #a grecoroman idiot twink. i don't think he remembers his original name - his cause of undeath was drowning in the river of tiber though #being drunk on wine while accidentally becoming a vampire is never a good idea (major memory loss may happen) #so he's just been going by tiberius. for a while. like that's just his name now #for the record he is very gay. he doesn't call it that but he totally is #also i don't care for twilight sorry it's too romantic and mormon for my taste. but its vampire lore is funny and i'll borrow from anything #like the sparkles. maybe one vampire does sparkle. as a treat #hope you enjoyed my tag ramble. time to actually post

[nostalgia-tblr]

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND #also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss. #also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir #it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks. #not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter? #i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh. #BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT???? #with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality? #and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys? #except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes? #also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it #she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on #the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O #yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point #(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it) #the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it” #UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON. #maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*? #i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it #which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :( #journey into the mcu #the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)

[essektheylyss]

I will be honest, every time I'm reminded that people in grad school take notes on lectures and readings I have to stop and buffer for a moment to process it. Not because I think that they shouldn't, to be clear, like that is absolutely the responsible approach, I am just so fundamentally incapable of taking notes that I forget it's a thing that the majority of people do.

#literally I do not take notes on anything my brain absolutely will not. #not meetings not lectures not readings not dnd sessions #'how do you remember anything?' i just do. except when I don't. #this is actually a MAJOR inhibitor for me with worldbuilding actually. like I desperately need to get better at jotting things down #cuz goddamn I am terrible at it #in fairness I also remember things much better if I just hold onto them cuz writing them down is a kind of thought exorcism for me so #that probably also factors

[papermonkeyism]

sorry for being active

logical... i think I'm annoying you too much /especially with my bad English/, and if you don't want to answer, that'll be fine ^^` in any case, thanks for your attention! i'm probably overthinking this, but...

the last question was, what is Crippled (and the others for that matter) afraid of? I understand that all the hounds lived in a pretty terrible place, but what about simple, almost human things like darkness and loneliness? Surama seems quite fearless to me, despite her dislike of the dark, unlike her brother (okay, he's just quite active), and Iacar is reliving the past. of course, they worry about each other, I think, but... hey, admit it, who is afraid of thunderstorms? :)

sorrysorrysorry ^^`

English isn't my first language either (terveisiä Suomesta). It's just that I'm wary.

I do not currently live in a creative enough environment nor life situation where I can reasonably sacrifice several days out of my week into such a demanding creative work, alone, without burning out.

And every time I so much as casually mention Wurr online, there's usually at least one person who'll come and let me know how tragic it is that I've "decided" to "abandon" my "great story and characters". (Or, in one case, how irrelevant and pathetic I am as a failure of a person. Fuck that one, though.)

Like, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown because of health and livelihood issues back in last spring that I'm still occasionally dealing with (one's systolic blood pressure is definetely not supposed to stay over 190 for long), and I just don't want to be dealing with the people sending me obituaries for my comic on top of that right now.

Like, maybe, maybe, if I one day move closer to Tampere to have my Brainstorm Buddy in my reach regularly again. I miss having creative company.

But right now? I'm just tired.

#wurr #also. like. geesh I'm going to have to figure out some rewrites to parts of the comic's story if I want to ever make a satisfactory job #at finishing it #like nothing major but I started the comic over 16 years ago #i was basically a teen back then #and there are parts of writing that 'grew up on 90s cartoons'-teen me thought were just how stories were made #that I didn't question back then but have definetely very much grown out of as a 36 years old adult person #like... I'd need to un-foreshadow something I already foreshadowed but never felt actually interested in myself #(except you can't un-draw something you've already drawn so far back so I'd have to figure out some kind of twist to make that foreshadowing #feel earned and fitting even if I take away the thing being foreshadowed and make it into something else) #but right now I want to not spend my time angsting about the comic I haven't had the mental energy to work on for few years #and focus on things that make me happy and don't actively make me feel bad #i have a full time day job now anyway #I'm not drawing any kind of comic untill my life is on firm ground again #the meds and the income are helping but it'll take time to even out after the two years of joblessness and mental health strain

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)

#Doodles #I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really! #Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me #Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah #Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫ #Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft #I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!! #The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪ #Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year #There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written! #These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe #I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft #Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol #As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol #Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫ #Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors #Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general #That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :( #So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3 #And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah #Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh #Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample #around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!' #or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then #the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later #HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone #if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours #of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof #people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed #that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional #except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see #it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk #And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests #are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just #chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac #ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was #too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them #quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol.. #ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof #of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the #tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character #focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about #people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol... #This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough... #yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah.. #Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe #that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you #entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like #''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that #in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did #do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..

[razzle-zazzle]

Have chef eat creek in front of gristle (and branch) so he can see what "true" happiness looks like or have creek try and bargain with chef for her to let him go and in return he'll "help" the others stay positive so they don't turn gray and inedible

Ignoring that first part, what I currently have for the movie is thus:

Things happen as in canon, but with no bunker, Peppy leads the Trolls away from their former village after Chef's attack. Poppy leaves for Bergentown regardless, and some Trolls leave a trail of sorts so she can find everyone once she's saved her friends (it's unspoken but pretty much every Troll is certain that Poppy will obviously manage to save her friends! She's Poppy!!!).

Poppy makes it to Bergentown, meets Cloud Guy before entering the tunnels, and it's all hunky dory as she makes her way to the castle. In said castle, Chef has arrived and is already working her manipulation muscles. And surely, with Trolls in her deck, she's got this game in the bag!

Except. Well. Branch. I still need to work out all the little intervening details, but Branch is pretty obviously going to be an opposing force to the lady that ate his grandmother. So Gristle finds himself with two different people trying to catch his ear and direct his path, and has to figure out who to listen to.

Poppy makes it into the castle, but her timing is slightly off; her Hug Timer goes off before she gets anywhere near the cage Chef is keeping the Snack Pack in, so that cage ends up being taken by Bridget without Poppy ever seeing. As a result, she takes to exploring the castle in greater depth, running into Branch in the process.

While Branch and Poppy are having their little philosophical argument, Bridget is interacting with the Trolls she's suddenly found herself in charge of. It's hard not to, when they look so much like the Prince, and one thing leads to another as she semi-intentionally recruits the Snack Pack to help her out, which ends with Lady Glittersparkles. There's no Poppy here, so whether Bridget intentionally sets out looking for a date with the King or whether she's helping the Trolls with something else and happens upon King Gristle is undecided. I'm leaning towards the latter, though.

So Poppy's poking around the castle while Bridget and Gristle are going on their first date. I still need to figure out a lot of the intervening details, but the current plan is that she and Branch reconvene with the Snack Pack at just the right time and place for Chef to spring her trap. She singles Branch out and "disposes" of him, though indirectly—throwing him down a garbage chute or similar after trapping him in a jar or the like.

The lack of the bunker works in Chef's favor, it turns out, because she's able to find the trail that the Trolls left for Poppy. She and her sous chefs return to Bergentown with full fannypacks, and Poppy blames herself for everything. If only she hadn't thrown such a loud party, if only she had been faster in getting to Bergentown, if only she had found her friends sooner, if only her people didn't leave a trail for her sake (not her fault but she blames herself for it anyway), if if if. She goes gray, and the rest of the Trolls in the pot follow.

Meanwhile, Branch manages to narrowly escape the mortal peril Chef cast him to, through a bit of help from Bridget, who happened to be in the right place at the right time. Or he escapes on his own and crosses paths with Bridget after?? I'm leaning towards the former, though. But, because of Branch and Bridget crossing paths, Bridget doesn't make it in time to be the scullery maid entrusted with bringing the pot into the banquet hall; Chef assigns one of her sous chefs to do it instead. Or another scullery maid.

So Chef undoes the latches on the pot, ready to seize her victory and truly reestablish her political power in Bergentown...

Except all the Trolls within are gray. Inedible. The people are ready to riot, Chef is trying to find some way to salvage the situation, and King Gristle assumes responsibility as King. Chef moves to capitalize on this, to shift the blame off of herself—

Enter Bridget, Branch in hand. Branch goes off on Chef for the attempted regicide, and adds in the fact that she's untrustworthy by pointing out that she used to often flaunt the rules concerning when Trolls could be eaten—his grandmother wasn't eaten on Trollstice, after all. Chef retorts by bringing attention to the fact that Branch is a Troll, trying to discredit him herself.

I still need to work out how, exactly, Poppy gets involved in the scene, but the goal is as such: Branch sings for the first time since Rosiepuff's death, and a three-way harmony of sorts between him, Gristle, and Poppy ensues. Current top contender for the song in question is "Soap" by The Oh Hellos. Color returns to the Trolls, to Branch, and then the Snack Pack reveals that Bridget was Lady Glittersparkles and the rest of the finale plays out pretty much how it did in canon.

Well, there is one difference. Poppy's speech about happiness is more focused on pointing out the pride and fulfillment that Bergens can find in the things that they love, and though it boils down to a similar "you don't need to eat a Troll to be happy" it's just a tiny bit more nuanced than how the movie presented it; happiness comes in many forms and the happiness that comes from eating a Troll may be intense, but it's empty nonetheless.

#ask zaz #between au #dreamworks trolls #so basically. this whole plot *could* be pulled off w/o major involvement from creek #just have him like. constantly trying to assume control of the situation while with the snack pack #being a sour note in the harmony trying to act as a benefactor kind of #but like. i know how i want poppy and branch to interact‚ but idk *what* they're doing and why #except for like. poppy seeing a troll and trying to offer help and support. and then trying to leverage branch's role as prince in #her people's favor #so i *could* use creek to that end‚ esp since poppy parallels gristle and creek parallels chef #the issue is. how do i get him in there. how do i get him out of the cage without shoving him in gristle's mouth #OR. if i do put him in there. how do i handle his immediate attempt to benedict his way out of being eaten #okay wait i might have ideas...... #sorry i didn't really answer your question lmao #but i realized i haven't actually. explained the plot super well and it'd probably help #if my thought process was actually out there

[ruthlesslistener]

listen I am about as pro-abortion as anyone can be, but aborting a baby just because they have Down's Syndrome should be fucking illegal. If you're someone who actively wants and is trying for a child, then you should be mentally, financially, and emotionally willing to provide for that child for the rest of your life if something goes wrong- because that is what being a good parent takes, and many many things can go wrong. Down's Syndrome is not at all close to the worst thing that can happen to a baby, and people with it can grow up to be happy, healthy, content adults- they just need a little bit of extra help and a different approach to raising them. If you just want a 'normal' child so that you can boot them out of your house when they turn 18 and have them around to take care of you when you're older, then you don't actually want children, you want an investment. A doll, not a family member. Not a person.

#the only exception to this would be people who cannot financially provide the aid for a baby with downs syndrom #but even then the government should be giving you money for childcare anyways soooo #context for this: i am a genetics major in a genetics class studying nondisjunction (the thing that leads to down syndrome) #and boy oh boy are some of the opinions im experiencing while studying making me mad!!!! #just. idk i think the reason why i got diagnosed autistic so late was bc my mom did an incredible job accomidating me when little #bc she didn't care that i needed extra help all she cared about was that i was healthy and safe #bc i'm her child #i'm *family* #and that's what you do!! you fucking care for your family!! #(provided they aren't abusive) #this is why autism moms piss me off so much too bc they dont actually WANT children they want the popularized experience of children #they want it easy and they don't see their kids as people. they just learn that they need a little different or extra help #and then bitch about it for all eternally #maam your child isnt sick they dont need a cure they are a PERSON that is a HEALTHY HUMAN BEING WITHIN NORMAL VARIANCE VALUES #TREAT THEM LIKE ONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE

[kayzero]

in the spaces between not working on zwg and not finishing brother’s burden, i’ve been, uh…

thinking about something new.

#kay original #game development #kay rambles in the tags #Peccatum #Peccatum: Small Town Heroes #name is a work in progress. as most things are. #you can ask me about this project and the ocs i’ve half-imagined if you want to know more about them #but i’m not at the ‘‘ask me about my setting so i can figure stuff out’’ stage yet. #i do know that it’s an rpg. a LONG one too. and it’ll be mission-based kiiinda like FE3H? but not really? #9 party members. each of them have different elemental alignments and each represent a different Game Stat. #everyone has 1 Best stat—2 Great Stats—3 Good Stats—and 2 Poor Stats—and then the ninth stat is a fixed value #i know that two party members are trans. another two members—including the Box Art Protagonist—are disabled #along with the machine party member there is a Dragon who spends most of their time in bipedal form #there is a Fae who spends a large majority of the story hiding the fact that they are in truth a Fae #one of the party members was experimented on as a child and is now part Monster but they repressed the memory so they have no idea #i came up with a shared MP system that has actual story reasons for existing—and it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to code… #i want a relationship system a la Persona except EVERY party member gets a relationship and not just The Protagonist #every party member will have a relationship gauge with every other party member (i guess this is Fire Emblem?) #and then everyone will have a relationship with an NPC that’s unique and exclusive to them #and then they get four relationships with members of the town that you see frequently as you wander around #but it’s a Small Town remember. so the party has to share. there are four categories with three townspeople each so three party members will #have a relationship with each townsperson. but the relationships will be different because the characters aren’t carbon copies of each other #not. not romantic relationships. like friendships and rivalries and sex buddies and apprenticeships and. possibly also romance? mm. #i have to. learn how to code. idk if RPGMaker has a relationship system so i’ll have to figure something else out. maybe RP as a currency...

[curiosity-killed]

my sister’s new Pride tradition is apparently pressuring me to come out to our parents which is frustrating not only because it’s shitty behavior but

a) I did come out to our mom. Years ago. She told me I was going to die miserable and alone and no one would ever love me.

b) I came out to my sister the same night and she responded in the exact same way

and she both has completely overwritten this in her memory and continued to be sort of a shitty ✨ally✨ about it by being like “oh well asexuality is really hard to understand” and “if you told mom you were dating girls I think she’d be fine with it”

and like. I’m not a lesbian, I’m not bisexual, I’m not dating girls, I’m not dating guys, I am just, still, fucking ace.

#i'm tired of stewing about this but i'm also just really fucking sick of this rhetoric #like she tried to be like ''isn't part of pride being proud and out??'' #and i was like ''well being told you're going to die alone and she hopes you have major depression sucks a lot'' #and she tries to spin it as like ''it's really coming from a place of love'' #and i'm like then y'all should have responded with love instead of being giant shitty assholes #personal #aphobia #also my sister just has this delusion that i'm a poor closeted little kid #and like #i am and have been out to all the people who care about me EXCEPT our family for years #because again #i was very clearly told that my family would not accept this about me #so no m** you're not being a doting caring supportive big sister #you're pretending away the hurt that you actively participated in causing #which doesn't actually make it not have happened #UGH #i am grumpy tonight

[gay-artificer]

i always thought artificer was irredeemable - even with everything from this world being able to come back from the dead it still attempted genocide of the scavengers. and sure, i'm not saying that others can't like arti (in fact i do like them and their story) or write a redemption arc, they can have their fun that way. but i don't want to be guilted into thinking otherwise

I don't like to terms like 'irredeemable' on animals, even more sentient/intelligent (and fake) ones. Artificer is absolutely expressing unchecked hostility, but ultimately its still in the form of a creature reacting to its own trauma with aggression and, as a more intelligent being, with spite. Slugcats (and scavengers) are at their core not meant to be stand-ins for humans, and I think that there is a tendency for fandom (and humans with other 'smart animals') to correlate intelligence/sentience with at least somewhat of an obligation to conform to human morals. As a biologist who's a fan of wasps, I know how much people tend to project a need for human reasoning and morals onto creatures who literally could not comprehend it nor would want to. Hell, on an individual basis, even humans disagree on where things like that do and don't apply.

Do I think Artificer is good? Hell no, I said myself that I think they're something so violently consumed by their own grief and anger that on a literally spiritual level they have damaged themselves beyond reasonable repair. I think you need to be pretty uniquely fucked up and far gone to achieve that in such a level that it's literally scarred your own karma. I guess I think they are irredeemable in that sense, but mostly on a more meta level referring to their actual ability to recover vs. a moral one. The narrative of the story certainly condemns their actions pretty heavily in what is, effectively, a form of divine punishment- a complete and total inability to find peace in the form of proper ascension no matter what they do now. I feel that even if they threw away their grievances and just lived with Five Pebbles forever they would be unhappy and restless, just stuck with a permanent stain they wish they could ignore because it was an itch they scratched entirely through violence. But in that same sense I don't think the scavengers are uniquely, humanly evil for killing a slugpup for stealing just because they are also an intelligent creature with the capacity for culture and understanding. I believe the scavengers fully understood they were attacking the equivalent of a slugcat child, and they did not care. That did not matter to them, because they are just naturally very selfish unless they have reason to believe youre on their side already, and even then they aren't above violence due to personal grievance. They killed Artificer's pup because it violated a rule it couldn't have known was a rule, and its unfair that it died for it, but I don't think it makes the scavengers evil for it in the same way I don't fault a lion for attacking the weak or young of a herd, or a bee for stinging. I mean hell, even the scavengers themselves do it- They attack anything they perceive as threats, and will send squads to eliminate ones they think are particularly significant, even going out of their way to track them down. Sure, this is the a result of the creature already harming them- but Artificer was harmed. They were originally fleeing in their dreams. You could say it's different because Scavengers only target the one, but they already have a natural hostility to some slugcats and slugcats are generally independent (although its worth noting that slugpups pay for their parents' crimes by sharing reputation)- scavengers are not. They're all animals, they do what they perceive to be in their best interests, even if they perceive their best interest to be going out of their way to fight. The Ancients are the closest we have to a society with established morals in Rain World, and their favorite pastime was advanced genetic modification and disrupting ecosystems. It seems a little silly (to me) to be hung up on if any of these things are 'good' in that sense.

#i typed an awful lot here im sorry anon #but yeah as much as i think slugcats are intelligent i think slugcats are also beasts with largely the moral compass of one give or take #and their capacity for harm is defined solely by if the slugcat itself is bothered by the concept of harming rather than an understanding #that doing harm to things is bad #like slugpups with high sympathy dont like to eat bugs and wont kill them and i think thats about as much as you get from them #they understand that they can kill and that things die when killed and may choose not to do so out of sympathy for life #but not because they think actually killing it would be wrong #long post #tldr; artificer has major problems and i do think she sucks (positive) but i also dont thing shes like... morally bankrupt. I dont think #anything here has any morals at all except for the iterators #and even then five pebbled kills you for being annoying #but also this is getting into like philosophy above my level #either way whatever its fine artificer will be reborn as a vulture grub

[lemongogo]

ahyways hi . liteally hey .whats up

#ive liteally been doing nothing . except for a jigsaw puzzle n then my brain like exploded thtree times over until i finished it #watche a few mahito clips perchance .. #i acrually watched fhe first four eps of kny swordsmith season can u believe it #i ACTUALLY . sory .my very first kny hater moment . SHOCKKQ. JAWDROPP #i dont think it needs to be as long as it is . 4 eps in n i was like yawn.. THEY R DRAGGING ITT ONWNNNNN #probably my least favorite season or like .. installment .movie included #not the actual storyline i LLAUUVRRREE the kotetsu muichirou tanjirou genya mitsuri development #ESPP HANTENGU AND GYOKKOOOOO #but idk . so mny points in the episodes where u can tell they r kinda stalling for time to meet the requirement #like i wouldve been fine w a smaller season two had uzui cour taken the majority and then swordsmith take like . 6 or smth and then go into #the sun conquering finale from swordsmith #anwyays . ANWYAYAYSSSTTT #ive also been kind telling myself tht i want to #maybe potentially possibly apply for a con in a couple of months from now #but ONLY IFFF I CAN MAKE ENOUGG STUFF BY THEN . as a test . bc if i dont have like .. artworks 2 be converted in2 posters then nvm all of t #that #AWUUGG AUUGGG .but i rly want this so T__T mayve i can plan things out and it will feel easier #i guess ill just have to see if i have the time 2 even do it T__T #sry i just saw so many cool any/c posts i ws like I WANT TO DO THT SOOO BADD

[hershelwidget]

TWO MORE TO GO

Caleb and Darwin have arrived!

Finished these two in record time! I also had them in more dynamic poses to make up for how out of character the other two were (cough cough Beast)

Caleb possesses the Gup-C, while Darwin has the Gup-D! Much like the two before them, they borrow some design points from their main drivers, but it is a lot less obvious now.

Face closeups!

(oh whoops lmao i didn't think darwin would be so close- ah well)

Next up is Emma and Felix! They will be the last of these for a while... At this rate you'll at LEAST get snippets of Emma's design by the end of the month.. I am struggling very hard with Felix :(

#octonauts #octonauts au #octonauts gups #octonauts oc #hershel’s octonauts au #cw bright colors #cw eyestrain #the Curse is back #can we just talk about darwin for a second. i need to get this off my chest #before you say anything about how he looks high i need you to know that that is Canon actually. like genuinely #he smoked a blunt with Lars before he got killed and he was still under the effects of it by that point #so now in his current state he behaves like hes high a majority of the time (because he is) #and becomes fully lucid and aware and ‘sober’ basically only like once a week #this explains his behaviour in just about every rp we did :) except that one time he had to calm a player down #he was sober then and by god was the shift phenomenal #anyways. caleb and darwin’s lore is that they were literally married in life and for some reason caleb doesn’t Quite remember that #(the reason is he had some of of the soup before he was killed to be put in it and he got the Amnesia effect. some of it) #and now every chance darwin gets he tries to help caleb remember so they can get back to where they left off #funnily enough the other gup spirits have NO IDEA whats happening. Everyone is clueless EXCEPT darwin #also if you look closely caleb borrows from Octolings from splatoon AND. gloating narcissist from sky. and others too but yueheheu #caleb’s head is FLOATING by the way!! he has no neck!! #darwin’s arms can extract and retract!! dont ask me how those big things fit in there they just do ok #COUUFHSSS THATS ALL FOR NOOOW. LOOK FORWARD TO EMMA AND FELIXXX

[musical-chick-13]

Well...it's been a good run for...every ship left involving a woman in this poll. o7

#or more than one woman. you know what I mean. #(except for the one f/f versus f/f poll so we do at least have ONE guaranteed ship moving forward) #like. I know this is NOT a big deal (& I'll definitely forget about it once it's over) but I just...DO so tire of how guy-focused fandom is #then you try to complain about this and people accuse you of gender essentialist bullshit #which is ALSO exhausting #like I do genuinely like hanging out in my little niches with a handful of like-minded people but it does get...lonely I guess? sometimes? #you know that the things you create will be seen as inherently less valuable. you know that even in the Weird Interest™ Spaces you are #still seen as weird. you still don't fit in. the characters like you are discarded/ignored/disproportionately hated the way you are in real #life and it's rooted in a lot of the same ideas. like obviously I'd take THIS over misogynistic shit that actually happened to me but it #certainly doesn't make dealing with the reality of misogyny any EASIER #'I focus on men to escape irl misogyny/creator misogyny' I feel like actively ignoring women is also misogyny. actually. #whatever. nothing is new ever lmao. #In the Vents #at least The Major Evil has been defeated. I CAN at least sleep easy over that one.