#extra log

[thinkaboutmeff7au]

smoldering: the director’s office

yowza!! this is a bit of a long one; i want to stitch together some of the time between “born under punches” through the denouement of wutai war. this series will be called “smoldering”. wrote this a month or so ago--here’s to making paperwork interesting

***

(The VHS tape played in the living room with all three of his siblings watching in quiet rapture. It gave him some peace at the kitchen table with Jenova at the other side. “I saw your interview today,” she commented with a smile. “You did so well!”

“It was all on a teleprompter machine,” he replied. “I barely had to do anything.”

She tilted her head and watched him carefully. “Is something wrong, Sephiroth?”

His mind still churned, Genesis’s wild eyes haunting him. “I...er, after the interview, I had a fight with my mentor...”

“Who’s that again?”

“Genesis.”

“Okay, yes, I remember. What happened?”

“He swore at me, then he wanted to spar, so I did, but it was...” He paused and sighed. “It was intense...”

She shook her head. “Some people aren’t meant to be teachers like that. They only do it because they couldn’t reach fame themselves. He’s a 1st too, though, right?”

“Yes...we’re both 1sts now. So, we’ll...be working together.” He sat back in his chair and folded his arms. “He paged me to apologize, but...”

He trailed off. Jenova smiled gently. “Well, good that he apologized. I’m sure you can patch things up, and you’ll be good friends after everything.”

Her solution seemed so simple, and her tone made Sephiroth’s shoulders relax a little. “Right. I...hope you’re right.”

She winked at him. “I’ve been around a while, I know a few things,” she said.

“Mom! Can we have some popcorn?” Loz called from the living room.

“I want candy!” Kadaj insisted.

“No candy,” Jenova insisted. “But popcorn is okay.”

Sephiroth stood up. “I’ll get it, Mother,” he said, walking to the cabinet.

Jenova chuckled. “Thank you, dear.”)

***

The next day, Sephiroth started his morning by heading directly to the Director’s office. Before you get settled in, come see me in my office. We have some paperwork to take care of, Lazard had requested over the pager.

This time, Lazard was not alone. Tseng of the Turks stood at the door, nodding to Sephiroth as he came in. He stayed there as Sephiroth took a seat in front of Lazard at his desk.

“Morning,” Lazard said. “Since your promotion was on the field, we never sorted out the official paperwork. It’s best that we do this before you get settled in.”

The stack was thick. There were initial lines on every page. I’m going to be here all morning, Sephiroth thought with disdain.

“I suggest you read through everything, but I can give you a verbal summary.”

Sephiroth’s eyes flicked up to meet Lazard’s own, blue shielded behind glasses. “Please,” he said.

Lazard cleared his throat and folded his hands together on his desk.

“As a 1st-class SOLDIER, you will be tasked with leading initiatives and training subordinates. Tseng will act as your direct report to deliver orders directly from me. While you will have freedom within the company and will not be restricted in most of your activities, you will become property of Shinra.”

Sephiroth’s eyebrows narrowed.

“You will live where we tell you to and be stationed where we tell you to be. You may conduct your personal life as you wish, but bear in mind that when you are in uniform, you are representing Shinra. You may be called upon at any time to go on patrol or to serve.

“While most who make it this far intend to stay with the company, 1st-class in particular is a lifetime sentence. Given the mako composition already administered to you, you will be granted good health and a longer life, which you are indebted to by the company. You can choose to ‘retire’ as early as 65 years of age, however if Shinra requests your abilities, you can not refuse.”

Sephiroth sighed as a result of holding his breath. “So, there is no way to be discharged?”

Lazard shook his head. “Even a lateral move will not absolve you of this responsibility...especially one of your ability.” He took off his glasses, which revealed a shimmer in his eyes that Sephiroth had not noticed before. “Before this, I was also 1st-class SOLDIER, many moons ago now. If they wanted to, they could ask me to don the black and suspenders and go out on the field.”

“Have they?” Sephiroth asked, blinking.

“No,” Lazard chuckled. “I have done my best to keep that from happening in my position. However, if Mr. President so wished, he could make the demand. I would give him an earful, but I could not refuse.”

His voice dripped with contempt as he spoke the words “Mr. President”. It was a tone Sephiroth didn’t think was possible from him,  and he briefly shared a look with Tseng, still at the office door. Tseng pursed his lips, but said nothing.

“There are some other Shinra positions that carry similar caveats,” Lazard continued, “particularly those who possess company trade secrets. However, SOLDIER is special, because of your genetic modification and physical ability, combined with some level of inner company workings.

“Therefore, you will never be discharged. If a situation would warrant a ‘dishonorable’ discharge...you will be terminated. Your status will be ‘killed in action.’“

Sephiroth stared down at the contract, words no longer legible but distorted squiggles crawling on the paper. Is this why Jenova tried to dissuade me from joining SOLDIER? Because it is an irreversible, eventual death sentence?

(”...monster...just like the rest of us...”)

Genesis’s eyes flashed in his mind again. He knew the truth as well.

“I always start with this up front, because it is important.” Lazard sighed. “Many SOLDIER in 2nd and 3rd-class often get the wrong idea about the glamour of 1st-class. It can be a lonely job, and comes with a heavy price.”

Lazard’s face relaxed. “This all being said, I have been watching you come up, and I have no qualms regarding your sense of duty and responsibility. Unless you have a dramatic change of heart, I don’t think you will be getting into any trouble, as it were.”

Sephiroth smirked humorlessly. “I appreciate the compliment,” he said. “But it doesn’t matter, does it?” He bit his lip and shrugged. “I already accepted the promotion.”

Lazard said nothing, but his eyes confirmed it. This paperwork is a formality. I suppose if I really wanted out, I could refuse and be demoted. But, with the press conference already over, it would mean a scandal. Which may mean termination.

Of me.

At the same time...was there any other path for me?

To stand at the top, alone...

“If you turn to page 32, you will see your new yearly salary,” Lazard continued, gentler than before as he placed his glasses back on his face. “Given the circumstances you yourself addressed, you are in a unique position to negotiate for a higher salary if you so choose.”

The page had been tabbed with a yellow sticky note for easy access. Sephiroth turned to it and stared at the large number staring back at him. “In fact, I may preemptively bump it, provided the budget is available. Or a signing bonus could be in order?”

“This is...this is fine,” Sephiroth replied. With this money, I could buy Mother a new house out of the Sector 2 slums in a couple of years...!

“Well, I’ll still see what I can do,” Lazard replied. “Your benefits are completely covered by Shinra at no cost to you. You also have special access to Shinra owned condominium buildings, including the newest one near Sector 5. Angeal and Genesis own condos there, for example.”

That’s a luxury building, Sephiroth thought, still staring down at the compensation number on the sheet. I never gave much thought to where I would be living; I assumed I would continue to stay on base, or just go and live with Mother to help with the kids...

“The condos can be bought at half of market rate, either outright or through an interest-free payment plan, your choice. I will forward you our real estate agent’s contact information before the end of the day.

“You also are now allowed to carry your own weapon, and not a Shinra issued one. If you are interested in a sword, we have a blacksmith who is on site part of the week that can craft you a blade. Otherwise, there are a few options in Midgar if your tastes lie elsewhere.”

A new sword, Sephiroth thought, that will be a relief. He thought of Angeal’s heavy Buster Sword, and Genesis’s slender and elaborate Rapier. Though I am not sure what style to get. Perhaps something light and simple...

Lazard continued. “I would like you to take some time in the coming weeks shadowing your fellow 1sts in their duties. You can get a feel for where their strengths lie and what you would prefer to do while on base. You will be stationed here in Midgar for the foreseeable future.”

“I see,” he said.

Lazard smiled quizzically. “I thought you may be more enthusiastic about that. Keeping you with your colleagues, and close to family as well.”

“A-ah, I am...” Sephiroth said. Typically, his emotions often didn’t come across well, but with his heart heavy under circumstance, he could only muster a thin lipped turn of his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Eventually, I would like to see you be a de facto leader among the 1sts, hence the free reign you’ll be given here. It will be a different story once you are deployed.” He stared in space behind Sephiroth. “We will not be at war forever, after all. That is my hope...”

“How soon will that be?” Sephiroth asked.

It was the first time Lazard looked taken aback. But, even that was controlled. “Come again?”

“How long...until we are deployed again?”

Lazard’s expression neutralized. “Right. Unfortunately, I can’t say for sure. Within the year, I assume. Maybe as soon as a month. Could be tomorrow, though unlikely. Your performance should keep things at bay for a while.”

Sephiroth’s eyes flicked down to the mound of paperwork. He watched himself aimlessly flip back to the beginning. This is how it will be, now. This is the point I wanted to make it to. Now that I’m here, I don’t know how to feel...

I always wanted to be at the top, to be the best,

(to be the most useful)

(you’re different than all the others)

and even...to be admired.

(”You’re such a freak!” the boy spit at him. He punched him and grabbed him by his hair, shoving him against the lockers. “This isn’t a wig? Your hair is like this, silver like a fucking old man? Gross!”

Sephiroth’s nostrils flared, and he grabbed the boy by the waist, easily hurling him backward...)

I never got it growing up, not where it mattered. Fifteen years rotting away in an orphanage, then three in the slums.

But now...

(As he walked by the reception desk, a group of Shinra administrative professionals in crisp, white blouses and black pencil skirts all turned their heads. “E-Excuse me!” one piped up.

Sephiroth paused and looked back. He wasn’t even in uniform yet--only his black, company jacket, a t-shirt and jeans--but each of the women were tinted with pink. “Yes?” he asked.

“You’re, um, you’re Sephiroth Cetra, right? 1st-class, sir?”

“That’s right,”

“Wow!” she exclaimed, then quickly looked away. “Um, sorry! I just wanted...your hair is beautiful, by the way!”

She scurried back, clearly embarrassed. Sephiroth lifted his chin. “Thank you...”)

“Do you have any questions for me?” asked Lazard. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

Sephiroth didn’t hear him, mind far away. Now...

(Genesis clapped as Sephiroth destroyed the last target dummy. “Well done, well done,” he said, taking a drag off a cigarette. It looked like one, but the smell said otherwise. “Damn, you’re good.”

“Do you think so?” Sephiroth asked.

“Oh, yeah. You’ll be 1st in no time. It’s like Shinra pumped you out of the fuckin’ lab as the model SOLDIER.” Genesis coughed a little smoke and laughed at his own quip.

Gently out of breath, Sephiroth sheathed his sword and met his eyes. Genesis, in turn, held his gaze.

When he looked away, it felt like he had lingered too long...)

“Sephiroth?”

Things...are different. I have...friends now, maybe. But after what happened with Genesis...

(”You’re so...fucking perfect...”)

(”He doesn’t hate you, you know.”)

I hope Angeal is right. I hope Mother is right, too.

Sephiroth cleared his throat, willing himself back into the Director’s office. “Sorry?” he said. “No, I’m...fine. It’s fine.”

Lazard waited for more, but Sephiroth had no more to say. He took the pen laid carefully beside the contract and began to initial each page. Words flashed at him that did not process.

He reached the last page, and Lazard interrupted him. “This is your last chance,” he warned. “Once you sign that last page, you can’t go back.”

Was there any other choice? Sephiroth thought, but kept it to himself.

His hand did pause over the line,

but only for a moment.

In spiked script, he signed Sephiroth Cetra, and dated beside it.

“Very well,” Lazard said. He stood up and reached over to gather the paperwork. “You are officially 1st-class SOLDIER. Congratulations.”

Formality seemed to settle in the office. Sephiroth stood as well. “Thank you, Director.”

“I hope your career is as fruitful as its start.” Lazard stacked the paperwork, then stepped around and shook Sephiroth’s hand. “Barring the most unusual circumstance, we may not cross paths again like this.”

Lazard pulled him gently closer and stared sternly up at him. “I wish you the best of luck.”

Sephiroth stared back. He said he was 1st-class once as well...he knows how this is more than anyone.

(what sword did he use? How much blood has he seen? How many has he killed?)

“Thank you, sir,” Sephiroth said.

Lazard smiled. “You’re dismissed. Tseng will walk you out.”

Sephiroth let go of his hand, and turned to the back of the room. Tseng opened the director’s door, but resumed to a stance with his hands behind his back. As soon as Sephiroth walked through, he trailed behind.

“I will take you back to the 1st’s locker and break room,” Tseng said. “If you have any questions about the Director, I am afraid most of his personal information is classified.”

“I don’t have any questions,” Sephiroth replied, staring straight ahead. “I know all I need to.”

Tseng tilted his head as he called the elevator. “Very well.”

The elevator pinged, and they stepped through and rode it in silence.

#extra log #smoldering series

[majinbangus]

Always obsessed with how Farah lunges at him and how Price was READY to hold her back

#extra extra #i just needed to get that outta my system #back to our regularly scheduled soap after the break #as in when i log back on #captain john price #farah karim

[de-sterren-nacht]

#incoherent rambling #fate/extra ccc #jinako carigiri #wada arco #fate/extra ccc void log bloom echo

[frogseasons]

ryoko kui really said let me just leave absolutely integral character details. in the supplemental material.

#frog logs #dungeon meshi #THAT IZUTSUMI AND LYCION EXTRA?????????????? #the deal with kabru’s eyes?????? #theres more #i understand they weren’t necessary to the plot of dunmeshi but like. GIRL. #save me adventurers bible…. adventurers bible…. adventurers bible save me

[mrghostrat]

oh my god 🙈 don’t fuckin look at me.

i missed the bit at the bottom but obv Good Omens now. have also written for hannibal, sherlock (sorry), RTAH (way more sorry), mighty boosh (slightly less sorry), TAZ, and ofc where it all started: 08 warped tour era bandom.

tagged by @indigovigilance and @phoen1xr0se!!

show yourselves @thewolveswolf @bunnakit @foolishlovers

TEMPLATE

#edit: for everyone asking; you can leave an extra kudos by logging out and kudos as guest 👁️👁️ #this could be a fun ask game too #except i can’t tell you about my livejournal account because i had approx 52 and can’t remember any of them #ghost acribbles

[jvlianbashir]

i know that others have already commented on this but most of my high school interns are so helpless when it comes to technology that doesn't completely spoonfeed the experience that it is actually terrifying

#tbc our awareness of this means we now spend extra time on these skills but it is a shock at how many cant navigate basics on a desktop #let alone use a program like excel #ppl just assumed these kids would be 'digital natives' and be far ahead of us naturally #but the reality is they grew up on phones and tablets and apps that strongly handhold and control your experience #and computer skills - esp on desktop - are something you have to learn #and that includes learning where to go to try looking for an answer yourself first #not st #doctor's log

[anartisticdreamer0]

ya know on this island, parents have never really had to explain death to their kids. it’s always been an accepted thing that can happen, a fate that might befall any of them at any time, that at any point one of them or their siblings may die.

but now they have to. now it’s not just eggs that die. now they have to explain death. which now leads to different parents having to explain different perspectives of death. so far it’s mainly been phil and bbh, but that makes it even more interesting because they have probably the weirdest povs on death. phil literally explaining how he views death. we legit got lore out of him.

and that’s mainly just in reference to the older eggs, the newer eggs have had a completely different scenario happen to them. in which they’ve gotten told “oh these are your new parents, some of them have dead kids so they might not be receptive to you, but that’s fine they’ll learn”. which creates a whole new relationship with death. em and pepito having to live in bobby’s shadow. sunny knowing she had a sister but she’s not around anymore. and those past relationships affect the relationships those parents have with their “new” kids. not to mention how sunny never has really had death explained to her. the new eggs have not yet had death normalized, they are still scared of it.

that’s not helped by islanders themselves dying. chayanne said (paraphrased) “you’re not supposed to die like eggs” while talking to phil and i think that perfectly describes how the older eggs perceive death. they can die forever and never come back that’s why their parents protect them. their parents can’t and won’t die permanently, they will come back. but tubbo, and now bad have destroyed that mindset. because now parents can die permanently. and that’s what scares them. death overall scares the newer eggs, their parents dying scares the older eggs.

this isn’t even getting to how dapper, pomme, and tallulah have an even stronger connection to death and therefore likely have a slightly different view on it. sunny has had that entire everything with q!lenay’s corpse, don’t get me started on the kinds of tragic and fucked up all that is. or how pepito has 3 of pepito’s parents have dead kids. at the end of the day, these are kids. all of them. and i don’t think we talk about the inherent importance and interest that automatically holds enough. these kids are growing up on an island where if your parents don’t feed you cookies for a week you die. and so you just have to hope someone else does it for you to keep being alive. and some most of you only have one dependable parent, some of your parents have to worry about two of you, some of you can only depend on a babysitter.

then one of your parents dies. and then the babysitter, that everyone has depended on at least once, dies. . .

how safe then is your mom or dad? and if they die, who takes care of you? who makes sure you don’t die?

#tw death #cw death mention #this post heavily focuses on death #cw child death mention #qsmp eggs #qsmp #phil’s upcoming possession arc makes me EXTRA nervous #bc pomme and dapper have the french (just all of the french) #but sunny has struggled to find someone to take care of her. #and thats WITH everyone knowing her pa is dead #imagine: ‘phil’ is still around so nobody really hears chay and lullah out #‘phil just logged on he’s got you’ ‘there’s two of you’ especially with sunny and dapper now being parentless #that is IF the arc happens soon. i doubt it will. but IMAGINE. #phil is usually more of a slow cooker anyways #qsmp analysis

[thinkaboutmeff7au]

the vermilion scourge

hi! i started this one last year. it’s a little all over the place...but hey! Don’t Worry About It.

1990.

Reno twisted his wrists in the restraints. Tied at the wrists, at the ankles, at the neck, back to back with his fellow Turk partner, Rude. “Fuck man,” he hissed, staring down the barred door in front of him. “We fucked up. We’re screwed.”

“Shut up,” Rude grumbled. “I’m trying to think here...”

“Can’t fuckin’ believe it,” he murmured, out of earshot of the guards. He wasn’t sure if they’d be able to understand him anyway, but didn’t want to take the risk. “This was our first mission, first big mission, and we fucked it up.” Sweat beaded on Reno’s brow--out of fear or out of exertion, it was hard to tell. “The big man’s gonna kill us when we get back. If we get back.”

“Surprised they haven’t killed us already,” Rude said.

“They want our intel, yo. They’ve probably never caught a Turk before.”

“It’s your fault for rushing in.”

“It’s your fault for holding me back!”

A gun barrel clanged on the door, straightening them both up. “Keep it down in there!” a guard barked. It echoed in the concrete cell.

Reno growled, and tried shaking his wrists more to shake a lock pick tucked into his suit’s cuff. The restraints were plenty tight, however, and it ached to struggle. “Be honest,” he whispered. “Do you think we’re going to die in here?”

Rude did not reply. The lock pick fell into his clammy palm, and he found his fingertips shook as he took it.

“It’s fine,” he breathed, mostly to himself. “Someone will be here. Hopefully.” A bead of sweat fell over his eyelashes, and he had to blink it away. It blurred pink. I really need to get better hair dye next time, he thought as he fiddled to turn his pick to a serrated edge. You know. If there is a next time.

***

At the base camp, Tseng’s eyes darted through the sea of soldier uniform in search of the 1st-class black. There weren’t many here--only the two boys from Banora, Hewley and Rhapsodos. He had a healthy amount of respect for Hewley, as he was well-rounded and responsible, and good with his inferiors.

Rhapsodos, on the other hand...

Angeal Hewley was who he found first. “1st-class Hewley,” Tseng addressed.

Angeal turned with a pleasant look. “Yes, sir--oh, Tseng!” he greeted, then his brow creased. “What’s the matter? Did Gen get into something again?”

“No, but I do need him,” he replied. “Painful as it is for me to admit. We haven’t heard from our scouting group in an hour, and I think they will need a rescue.”

“I see,” he said. “A sting operation.” He nodded, then tilted his head. “Sorry, why do you want him again?”

Tseng sighed. “He’s good enough. And if he does get discovered...he won’t be caught.” He continued to scan the horizon. “No offense to your own ability.”

“None taken,” Angeal replied, folding his arms. “I just hope you’re not just sending him off to get killed.”

Tseng did not reply, only narrowing his slim eyebrows. “You’re on for backup with a group of 2nds if you can spare them.”

He left without confirmation, as his target was in sight.

Genesis Rhapsodos was alone, on a folding chair that looked over the horizon. In one hand was a cigarette, smoking gently, and in the other was a paperback book, place held with his thumb at the spine. His auburn red hair shone in the sun on its way to the western hills.

“1st-class Rhapsodos,” Tseng greeted, more curtly than he had addressed his colleague.

Genesis only flicked his eyes over. “Tseng of the Turks,” he replied, taking a drag off his cigarette. He blew the smoke over his book. “What do you want?”

“I’m deploying you.”

“Great.”

“You are going to infiltrate the southern Wutai base alone. Do not make yourself known. If you do, you must kill whomever spotted you.”

“Southern base?” Genesis continued to stare down at his book. “Didn’t you just send someone there?”

“Yes...” Tseng grimaced. “That is precisely why you’re going.”

Genesis smirked, eyes flicking forward. “So someone needs his powerful, so expertly trained secret service guys rescued?” He folded a corner of the page to mark his place, cigarette between his index and middle finger. “Someone who isn’t afraid to kill?”

“God, please just do this,” Tseng sighed through clenched teeth.

“What’s in it for me?” Genesis clapped the book shut and tossed it on the chair as he rose from his seat. “Or am I just an animal, just in it for the hunt and the bloodshed?”

“This is your job,” Tseng said, eyes piercing. A thousand different venomous comments--such as not that you need it, you spoiled brat and if I knew you would always be this obstinate, I would have splattered your brains in the president’s office--threatened to slip from his lips, but he kept them tightly behind his tongue. Courtesy was part of his job.

“So what, ‘do it or you’re fired?’“ Genesis snickered. “Yeah, yeah...”

He grabbed his sword with his left hand, lying next to his seat, tossed it in the air and caught it behind his back with his right. Then, in nearly the same instant, he thrust it outward, the tip grazing the metal piercing in Tseng’s ear.

Tseng did not flinch.

“I’m a good little Shinra pet, I’ll go do it,” he said. “I want a big bag of weed waiting for me when I get back though.” He closed one eye, admiring the slope of his red blade. “And a fleshlight.”

Tseng wrinkled his nose. “Kidding,” Genesis said, and sheathed his sword. He shook the cigarette he was still holding in Tseng’s face. “Not about the weed, though.”

He took one last drag, blowing the smoke over Tseng’s shoulder, before tossing it in the dirt and smearing it with the toe of his boot.

Tseng shook his head and watched him walk off, stopping to chat with Angeal briefly as well. Bastard, he thought. Unfortunately, he will get the job done. That’s why payroll sends him a check every week.

***

Here it is folks, here’s the time for the burnout to make a comeback. Guess who’s gonna be a hero?

Nah, that ain’t want this is about. This is a couple of Tseng’s new boys getting into trouble, and now the SOLDIER with the sharpest blade has to go bail them out. He still wants it to be a sting. A 1st-class can handle it, right? Sure they can. Most of ‘em got some kind of claim to fame.

It’s quiet out here, way too quiet for occupied territory, but just quiet enough for contentious territory. The jungles are to the east, the south is desert. It’s so fucking flat that I can see the spot that the Turks were trying to go for. No fucking wonder they got spotted--you have to get right up fucking in there to get any cover.

I stop my pace where I am and take a deep breath. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m out of weed right now, but I still want some. The nicotine from earlier is making my head clear, but the buzz is a little unpleasant. No matter. I’ll make this quick. There’s a barrier wall on the western side...if I can dash there, I can get the advantage. Hopefully the dust I kick up will draw their attention, and we can go from there.

I lean my weight on my back foot. Then, I bolt.

I should be wearing those nerd-ass goggles the cyclists wear. Instead, I try to shield my eyes with my arm as I sprint across the desert. The sand kicking up burns my forearm, and my vision darkens at the edges. Nah, “darkens” isn’t the right word, but they haven’t come up with a word for the blue glow mako makes in your eyes when it saturates your bloodstream.

A side effect of the machine they make us.

I manage to stop right before the wall instead of careening into it. The dust bowl follows in my wake, and I press my back against the wall to make myself as flat as possible. I wait until the mako subsides from my vision...my heart rate slows...the rush in my ears fades...

I can hear the guards talking. No waltzing in the front door.

I graze my hand along my belt. I’ve got a couple of guns in my back holster with silencers, just in case. This lets me see the nasty sand burn on my arm I got dashing over here. That’ll heal by the time I get back. Mako, baby.

Okay. I can jump the fence. It’s just over twice my height, so a jump and a climb up the wall should do it. I jump--

“Hey!”

Fuck! One of them went through the perimeter, and here I still fuckin’ was. I don’t bother the climb, but try to land as lightly as possible. As soon as I hit my toes, I run over, sword out, and cut the guy’s throat, covering his mouth. Blood spews out, and I let him fall to the ground with a small thud. There’s one guy, but I can hear footsteps.

Let’s be real here--if Tseng really wanted this to be stealth, there are better SOLDIER to do it, even in the lower ranks. So why me? Well...

I’m quick. I’m good with a sword. And the more red I’m coated in, the more manic I get. I feel like fucking Ash from Evil Dead 2. Groovy. No, what Tseng wanted

was no survivors.

The next guard comes around the corner, and before he can think, there’s a sword in his spine. More blood splatters on my face. I let the flush rise in my face and make me grin.

And thus comes the vermilion scourge.

***

The scuffle had reached the confines of the prison. Rude lifted his head. “Do you hear that?” he muttered.

Reno tilted his head. “Sorry, what?” he said, groaning a little as he twisted his wrists. “Can’t fucking hear you over my brainwaves sending Tseng my last will and testament.”

A breathless panting came from just outside the gate. “Run! Run! He’s coming!” a man said.

“Who?” said another.

But before there was an answer, there was a thud, a wail, a crunch, and another groan. More weight hitting concrete, a splatter. A shot against metal, and then another. Then, silence.

Reno and Rude stared up at the cell door, mouths gently agape.

Genesis kicked open the cell with a clatter. The door swung wide and slammed on the other side.

“Jesus Christ, dude,” Reno marveled, as soon as he could confirm that this blood-covered figure was a friend and not a foe.

Genesis shook his hand--his leather gloves were soaked in blood--then took off one glove and wiped under his nose and mouth with the back of his clean hand. When he put his glove back on and squeezed it, it dripped. He slicked his hair back, revealing his forehead, then strode over to the captive Turks.

“Party’s over,” he grunted. He bent over to the wrist restraints (Reno’s behind-the-back lock picking efforts had proven fruitless), and pulled the metal apart with both hands. “Let’s go.”

Reno rubbed his wrists as he stood up, staring at Genesis. “Un-fucking-real,” he breathed while Rude helped him out of his foot restraints. “That’s SOLDIER strength, huh? Pry open steel, just like that?”

“I’m not even the strongest,” Genesis said. “Ange is stronger than me, that’s why he has that huge fuck-you sword.” He reached into his pockets and fished out two wires with earpieces attached. “Got these for you. Tell the boss the job’s done and we’re on our way back.”

Rude nodded as he took his and slipped it in his ear, routing it around his collar effortlessly. He winced as static could be heard even from a distance, but it settled in. “Tseng, can you read?” he said.

Reno turned his attention to Genesis, who had his hands on his hips and was staring into space. “So, what’s the plan? Have we got guys tailing us or what?” he asked.

Genesis shook his head. “All taken care of,” he said, then sighed deeply as he absently reached into his pocket. “’My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey in my own salvation...”

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, but the one he pulled out was also covered in blood, enough to make his lip curl. “Fuck,” he cursed. He tossed the whole pack on the ground and crushed it with his heel. “Let’s go, c’mon, let’s go.”

Reno and Rude exchanged a look, and then followed Genesis out of the stronghold. Reno forced himself to keep his eyes forward, not to look at the ground, to ignore every wet footstep, the occasional squelch of skin and blood against cement,

the smell...

“Ugh,” Rude grunted. His grimace seemed to flatten the front of his face to hold everything back.

Reno held his nose, covering his mouth with the rest of his palm. Eyes forward. Genesis seemed unfazed. He did kill them, after all. Shit...

Wind roared across the desert as they exited. “Aw man, not even a transport back for us?” Reno complained. “You’re gonna make us hoof it?”

“Do you think I’m fuckin’ stupid?” Genesis replied, spinning around to them on one heel. “There’s nothing for miles, I would’ve been caught dead.”

“You could’ve had one sent in.”

“Reno,” Rude said. He pointed over the horizon, and sure enough, a Shinra truck was barrelling down the desert. “I called it in once we were clear.”

“Good,” Reno replied, crossing his arms. “At least someone here has some sense.”

Genesis’s eyes were toward the sun, dust settling and sticking to the drying blood all over his body. He said nothing.

***

It’s been an hour since Gen got back with those Turks. Covered in blood. He shed his uniform through the camp and disappeared to the shower. I haven’t seen him since...

...judging by the running water, I can expect he’s still in there.

I knock on the door. “Hey. It’s me.”

Silence. Well, not quite. I can hear hitched breathing.

“C’mon, Gen. You’re going to wrinkle up like a prune in there before long.”

Still nothing, no reply.

I don’t want to drag him out of there. But he needs somebody. I can only imagine the horror he induced. Bodies everywhere, blood on the floor. A terror, a scourge. Gen can be dangerous, and I think this time he didn’t hold anything back.

“...monster...”

I hear him mutter. “Gen, please. I’ll...help you out. I’ve got a clean uniform and towels out here for you--”

“Go away!”

All right. It’ll have to be this way. I strip off my boots, towel in one arm, and pull open the curtain.

He’s on his knees in the shower, cold water pouring over him. Even if I didn’t know his preference for cold showers, the hot water would have run out ages ago. He’s scrubbing at his arms, pink from irritation. His damp hair is slicked back, revealing the strain in his face.

He whines, growling in the back of his throat. “It won’t come off,” he says. “The blood, it won’t...it won’t...”

I gingerly twist the knob to turn off the water. Then, I drape the dry towel over his shoulders. He’s shivering, and when he looks up at me, his lips are tinged blue. “Why? Why?” he says. “I’m just...I’m not...I--”

“It’s okay.” It probably wasn’t. I’m sure him and Tseng will get reprimanded for the loss of life on the battlefield. But it’s Wutai, so who cares? “Let’s go.”

“I’m a monster,” he mutters, eyes unfocused, that deep blue that swims in mako. “I’m really a monster. They told me to kill and I did it. I saw red. Red. Red.”

I help him stand up and walk him out of the shower. “We’re just their pawns,” he continues on, shivering more violently now. “My soul hath corrupted by vengeance--”

“Shh,” I hush him. I take him over to the cot and find another towel to wrap him in.

“What redemption is left?” he says. “What’s left? What’s left? Nothing...just this beast who can pierce...h-heart after heart...blood and more blood...”

He’s rambling. I don’t know what I can do for him, not in the long term. Instead, I look for more blankets. There are some stored under the bed. I push him down and cover him.

“Angeal?” he says weakly.

I pause. “What is it?”

Now he looks tired. So tired. Tears still leak from his eyes. “What’s that thing...you tell all the 2nds?”

Huh? Oh...my little speech. “Embrace your dreams, and protect your honor as SOLDIER, you mean?”

He smirks. “Right,” he replies. He seems to be settling in a little bit... “Do you think I’ve got any left?”

I tilt my head. “Maybe,” I say. “More than none.”

He takes in a deep breath. “Better than nothing.”

Gen closes his eyes--his lips are normal again, and for good measure, I pile on a couple more blankets. What are you supposed to do for hypothermia? Not that he has it, but...

Ah, right.

I look around, then strip down to my boxers. Hopefully no one will call on me for the next couple hours. I lift all the blankets, and carefully slide under with him.

His body is still chilly, and he immediately spoons into me. He’ll wake up after this, and pretend that nothing happened. Maybe he’ll ask to end his tour early, but I doubt it. He’ll be fine, then he’ll get high again, and it’ll all come back. Day by day, it’ll subside.

That’s how it went the last time, in the labs.

And just like then, I’ll be here for him.

(A.)

#extra log #forgot i needed to put a timestamp but it's wutai war time pre-sephiroth

[sunshades]

Obviously a complicated subject to navigate but the theme of "a person's worth" in the canto is a very interesting adaptation of the book and I'm enjoying it very much.

Heathcliff's attitude towards and understanding of his own upbringing shapes how he acts with the second generation- it's a sort of experiment for him, as he sometimes likes describing it in scientific terms. Talking about the boys with Nelly he draws this distinction between Hareton and lil Linton, that Hareton is an incredibly smart child and very aware of his own situation and degradation- especially as he meets other people his age, namely the younger Cathy, for whom he quickly develops feelings for, and love becomes yet another thing he cannot be allowed to participate in.

While in game it's someone else who ends up saying these lines, what they're actually referring to + what they represent in the book is actually shown through Hindley, the degradation, relegation to servant and denial of education as well as the condemnation that to Hindley is the most cruel and most important: losing the worth "necessary" to be loved.

In the end book!Hindley's efforts go through in making Heathcliff a horrible person just like him, though neither his nor game!Hindley's plan ever manages to actually deprive Heathcliff of his sister's love (though they certainly work in making him believe that!), but book!Hindley's plans are further defied by Heathcliff becoming rich and educated, and book!Heathcliff's plans go off the rails even further as Hareton is not only smart, but also manages to become a legitimately good person- which is where I think it's very clear how game!Hindley is inspired by Heathcliff's book self. This line describes game!Hindley's behavior towards Heathcliff and Catherine just as much as it describes book!Heathcliff's towards Hareton and young Cathy.

But in the end the point is there's this awareness of being hurting and turning a person into something they're not, something worse.

I think it's also very important to note those first rate qualities he talks about are very heavily referencing Hareton's ability to learn. While Heathcliff doesn't talk about this when referring to himself by this point it's obvious his own learning abilities are something he's quite proud of, all through the book he's adapting and changing to what he's faced with (from his first appearance as a child, where he doesn't even speak the same language as the family, but learns soon after, to his final plan for his own burial) and by comparing himself to Hareton he's recognizing those same qualities in him. And I feel like with what we've seen of game!Heathcliff ever since the first chapter, and what we see of him in the different identities and mirror worlds, this is gonna be quite important in part 3- all the abuse has never deprived him of his ability to improve, to learn new things, to trust in new people, just as it's never deprived him of the love he no longer feels worthy of. So! Hope we'll get to see you realize that soon, Heathcliff!!!

#bell.txt #limbus company #canto vi spoilers #canto 6 spoilers #I WAS LIKE IM GONNA TYPE A SMALL THING REALLY FAST AND INTEAD I BURNED MY HAMBURGERS WHILE WRITING THIS #this is also part of why heathcliff? is not book!h and specifically he isnt part 2!h. #his revenge is turned completely inwards instead of being outwards which makes them completely different characters #heathcliff? is specifically a deviation of timeskip!h: i was planning on doing justice on myself; until i heard your voice #it is a version of him thats never heard cathys voice again- it is the version of him whos never realized he was loved #that voice changes him! it is the reminder that she (and her love! and a future happiness!) existed- and that i have lost her! #that is a very important point in all his further behavior: all that rage is because he KNOWS they couldve lived a life together if they #hadnt been separated by circumstances and injustice. he KNOWS that was injustice that was done to him. okay im done. THANK U FOR LISTENING #edit: added alt thumbsupemoji. made me remember the extra Cycle moment in cathy mentioning the cudgel #while heaths log mentions earnshaw presumably beating hindley w/his cane. i believe hindley also fights w/one in the rabbit fight doesnt he

[kingofthemoss]

day 005 - nero claudius

<- 004 | 006 ->

umu.

#nero claudius #nero fgo #red saber #fate extella #fate extra #extraverse #fate grand order #fgo #fanart #my art #captain's log. stardate: armageddon

[de-sterren-nacht]

#incoherent rambling #fate/extra ccc #elizabeth bathory #wada arco #fate/extra ccc void log bloom echo

[skeletonpunching]

Buddy Daddies extra materials: Kurusu Kazuki's Instagram archive (posts + stories)

I'm sure by now we're all aware of our good friend Kurusu Kazuki's Instagram account, where he posts endless food pics and chronicles the joys and struggles of parenting. I haven't been archiving/translating them so far, because Instagram makes posts easy enough to browse and auto-translate, but now that he's branched out into Instagram stories, I figured it would be best to have a convenient record.

As with the other extra materials (the diary entries and sticky notes), I'll be keeping all the Instagram content in a big central index post, which will be updated regularly (under the cut).

EDIT: There is now a part 2 for this post, which contains everything from ep 7 onwards. Please check that post for future updates.

This post contains the content associated with eps 1 to 6. (I split it out because this was getting so long and unwieldy that Tumblr glitched whenever I tried to edit it.)

@fantastic_sweeper0516 

Kazuki-papa here Papa to one child (in daycare) | Working hard to raise a child together with my partner. 👧 miri (4yrs) November 8

[Dates are mostly in my timezone, not Kazuki’s.]

January 1

It’s cooooold~~~ #happynewyear2023

January 3

There’s really no one around during New Year’s, huh

January 5

All set.

Heheheh. This is gonna be absolutely heavenly

January 6

Heading off to work~

January 7

Looks totally delish #mentaiko

#cooking

Done!

January 11

Another chilly day...

January 13

Can I do battle with these...?!

January 15

I’m making the world’s tastiest Hamburg steak~~ #japaneseblackbeef

January 16

Oh yeah, from yesterday. I cooked the greatest Hamburg steak...

January 18

Morning!

January 19

So tired...

January 20

Haven’t had this in ages, but it was good.

January 22

Apparently this is tastier.

January 23

If you’ve gotta banana, you’ll get by.

[writing: “Miri’s banana”]

January 24

They like it, and that’s the important thing...

January 29

WOW. Already so cheap, and there’s still a discount... #isthisheaven

January 31

Why are needle eyes so small~~~

February 1

What should I write in the daycare notebook...?

February 5

The low-malt beer life starts now.

February 7

Which do you prefer as a daycare outfit (for a girl): skirts or pants??

[results: 47% skirts, 53% pants]

February 10

The results from the other day. It was close... After surveying your opinions, I'll be buying more pants!

February 11

Mission complete.

When should I start preparing for my daughter to have a boyfriend or something?

For reference... 1. I think you'd better be ready by the time your daughter is in middle or high school...... 2. Kids these days start from elementary school, so... 3. Miri-chan is so cute, you should steel yourself now‼️‼️‼️ 4. Kids grow up quick these days, I figure you'd better be ready from age 4! 5. Probably when she's in upper elementary... 🤔💭 6. Miri-chan is a cutie, so... Looks like she might have a BF starting from the middle of elementary school 😅

Is that so.....?? 1. I hear it starts happening here and there in middle school 🐾 2. Miri-chan is totes adorbs so you gotta get used to it now🥺 she's probably super popular already... 3. Now. You should have started by now. 4. Lots of kids these days are mature for their age, so from daycare onwards... 🤔 5. Miri-chan could land a boyfriend anytime, so you'd better brace yourself now... 6. Age 9

For real??? 1. Right now! 2. Right now 3. It starts popping up once they get to upper elementary. Hang in there, Kazuki-papa! 4. I remember getting really into romance once I was in middle school. But in this day and age, even elementary schoolers would be totally into it... 5. They start dating in elementary school these days, don't they? And I guess the thinking about marriage starts in high school. 6. Around age 12? Sometime in middle school

February 12

After I made the bento, Rei and I ate the leftovers.

February 15

The fried chicken I put in the bento the other day. It got such rave reviews I made it again

Go to Part 2 (which contains everything else)

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies extra material #Kazuki i say this with all love but please log off and touch grass #not gonna lie i'm making this archive mostly because i was reminded of Sarazanmai trauma

[rpmemes-galore]

thank you, @staff, for somehow making the dashboard even worse. is this, like... a joke? like, are you guys actively going out of your way, snickering to each other in the boardroom, about how to make the worst possible changes just to see how far you can go? sure feels like it. 

#can you tell i'm not happy? #i logged back on for a minute to check something and this is what im greeted with #a messy horrible looking dash that's so overwhelming its making me panicky #my nuerodivergent brain can't process and handle everything going on. #i hate this so much #genuinely debating whether i even want to come back to this blog #and it has nothing to do with you guys or the content #but everything do with the fact that they keep changing things for the worse #and making everything so complicated and then i have to figure out how to use it all over again #and that's just extra stress my already overtaxed brain doesn't need #negativity tw #not a meme

[tiny-tf-faces]

#tinytf #idw transformers #idw arcee #arcee #extra smol #stocking up my queue so that i don't have to log on every day until tumblr either rolls back the update or makes it toggleable #the current layout makes me feel like i'm in a small tunnel very deep underground and the exit is blocked #ok maybe i'm exaggerating a bit but it's still uncomfortable and hard to use #i'm not about to abandon this blog though #just will be checking the notifications less frequently

[nitrozem]

Wha-Where's the party???

#sims shenanigans extras #oc: tony #I logged in and he was on the table for whatever reason??? #idk WHY he was in the hot tub out back when I left...