#final fantasy fancition

[cloudsmateria]

love crushed - cloud x reader

summary: cloud can't sleep with you on his mind, unable to accept his feelings. until eventually you both get caught unable to sleep. confessions occur, seggs happens perchance.

tw: seggs, quite rough seggs

He finally gave up. After hours of writhing in his hotel room, trying to convince himself over and over again, he knew he wasn’t winning. You had been circulating his mind, doing laps, your face crossing his vision every second. Continuously recalling your cut-up face today, panting, exhausted, the way his heart failed at the sight of you. You had no hesitation when it came to saving anyone, even at the expense of yourself. 

He groaned, dragging himself out of bed to get fresh air on the balcony. He dragged his hands down his face as he leaned against the railings, looking over Junon. He was being such a fucking girl about this, really. Just a simple crush and it was like he was 14 years old again, getting sweaty hands at the mere thought of you, and yet he still didn't want to accept it, what was right in front of him.

Cloud sighed deeply, resting his elbows against the railings and clasping his hands together. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn't be away from you. Even if you didn’t return his feelings, it wasn't going to stop him, no way in hell, he just needed you by his side, sitting in that bed he was already thinking about knocking on your door just to talk to you and see if you were still okay from that fight that happened hours ago. 

"I don't like her. I'm just not used to having new friends," he told himself, the wind ruffling his hair and his heart pounding at the thought of you, eventually shaking his head, that didn't feel right. He couldn't even deny it anymore. "...It's just a crush, I'll get over it."

The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.

Cloud was already heading to your room, his hand raised to knock on the door before he realised what he was doing. He cursed himself, dropping his arm back down to his side. This was fucking ridiculous, what was he doing? Cloud didn't even realise the way he was acting, but this was unlike him. Normally, he was cool and collected, always had been, but you, you turned his world upside down and he had no idea how to handle it. 

"Why am I doing this?" He thinks, softly leaning his head against the door. "She's probably sleeping, why are you disturbing her for this stupid shit?" He asked himself, turning around and walking down the hall towards the elevator. He pressed the button, waiting as he looked back at your door. And you stepped out, half asleep and still in your pajamas, it was so dark you didn't even see Cloud at the end of the hallway. 

You shuffled down the hallway. Your head was killing you, all those thoughts that had been swarming you for the past few hours, and now you had a headache. It was a horrible, horrible, night. You needed to go see Aerith to see if she had any healing spells, or Tifa to see if she had any medication, maybe you could go out and clear your head.

You bumped straight into Cloud's chest while you were rubbing your eyes.

"Y/n?"

"Cloud?"

"What are you doing up? Are you okay?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Not trying to sneak out on us are you?" You say, looking up at him, squinting. The hallway lights were bright and you couldn't see his expression properly.

"Just taking a walk."

"Oh my god, that's great. Can I join you?"

"Sure. Everything okay?"

"Yeah," you sigh, "I just couldn't sleep, I've got a lot of things on my mind."

"I know what that's like."

"You couldn't sleep either, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?" You ask, walking next to him as you both go downstairs.

"Not really." You smiled.

"You're never going to open up to me, are you? It's nice to get things off your chest, you know. I'm a great listener."

"You're also so nosy."

"Only for hot, mysterious guys." You giggle, poking him in the chest. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head and trying not to smile, but you notice his mouth twitching and the tips of his ears going red. "Where are we going, by the way?"

"Down on the beach, unless you want to go somewhere else?"

"No, it's fine. I love the beach."

"You'll freeze."

"I won't."

"You're still wearing your PJs."

"I don't need a lecture, Cloud."

"Well it's my problem if you get sick, isn't it?"

"That's cute. Assuming the responsibility of taking care of me."

"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"

"Touche."

You both walked in silence to the beach, the breeze was warm and the stars were shining bright in the sky. The waves were crashing on the shore, the smell of the ocean was filling the air, and Cloud was beside you.

"What's on your mind?" He asked. 

"Hit my head when we were fighting earlier, had a headache. And just thinking about some stupid shit that happened years ago, it's so annoying when you can't get things out of your head and you get a headache."

"I get it. I feel the same way. Sometimes it feels like a million things are happening and all at once."

"Exactly."

You were quiet for a moment, listening to the ocean and feeling the soft sand beneath your feet. He turned to face you while you were looking over the water, moonlight softly reflecting in your eyes, lighting up your face. Breathtaking. Although brutally reminded of earlier as his eyes dropped down to the cut on your cheek, the gash on your arm. 

"I’m sorry that I couldn't get to you quick enough earlier."

"It's fine, you don’t have to protect me. Just ended up with a concussion."

"Why do you always get yourself hurt for other people?" You laughed. 

"I couldn't let Tifa get hurt, could I? She deserves princess treatment. You would know, you have a crush on her, don't you?" 

"What?" Cloud choked.

"Knowing a girl that pretty since you were kids? Sounds like a great love story." You were genuinely curious, not wanting to be a homewrecker or get the wrong idea from him at any point. You could get the vibe that she liked him too, that they were flirting sometimes. 

"Tifa is my best friend, I've known her for years."

"You guys were arguing like a couple in Nice. Or is it a relationship?"

"We're childhood friends."

"That's not what I asked, Cloud."

"No, it’s not.”

"What about Aerith?"

"Aerith is like my sister."

"Do you have a crush on her then? Is that why you always get flustered around her?"

"Why does it matter? You've got a thing for Reno, don't you?" You burst out laughing, he couldn't help but smile watching you die for a minute straight, until you could feel abs coming through. But he genuinely wanted a straight answer. "Don't you?"

"No?" You snorted. 

"Leslie or Tseng?"

"Oh my God, Cloud. You're going to kill me." You laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"You kept calling them hot. The way you look at both of them too. "

"The way I look at him? Are you jealous?" You tease.

"Of course not." He said sternly.

"Why are you getting so defensive, Strife?" You smirk.

"I'm not."

"Sounds like jealousy to me."

"Why would I get jealous?"

"Are you sure you're not jealous, Cloudy? You're getting a bit worked up."

"Y/n..." He mutterest annoyedly.

"You're not denying it."

"What's there to deny? ...Oh, come on. I saw the way you looked at Reno."

"Reno's a pain in the ass. An attractive pain in the ass. But I don't like him." Thank God, he thinks. "What about you then? Aerith or Tifa?"

"No."

"No to both of them?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"Because they're gorgeous! Are you gay?!"

"No. I'm just... not attracted to them. That's all."

"Ok so... not gay, not attracted to Tifa or Aerith." You list. "You have to like someone."

"Who do you like thetn?" I’m not ready for an unrequited confession, you think. 

"I asked first."

"Are you 5?"

"We're literally sitting here talking about crushes and you're dodging the question. You’re the five-year-old."

"This is ridiculous."

"Who is it?"

"Are we really going to do this here?"

"Please."

"I like you." Cloud says, finally looking at you. You freeze, blinking a couple of times. His heart sinks to his stomach, knowing he should’ve expected rejection and feeling like a fucking idiot. 

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Say it again."

"I like you, Y/n. What? Have I ruined everything?"  One more butterfly and you would've flown away. 

"You don't." You say, trying to confirm it.

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

"If you're being serious I'm going to do something really stupid."

"Wha-" You grabbed the collar of his vest, pushing his face toward you, lips connecting.  His hands find your waist quickly, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. Your hands snake around his neck, running through his hair, his hand cupping your cheek, thumb stroking it. He pulls away, biting your bottom lip, picking your hips to wrap your legs around his waist, panting heavily and taken shocked.  

"You have no idea how long it took for me to come to terms with the fact I like you."

“I can’t believe it either.” You smile, kissing him again. “I bagged Cloud Strife.”

“And I bagged you.”

"Let’s get back to the hotel. It’s cold.”

“Almost like I said. And who’s going to be the one taking care of you?”

“It’s almost like I wanted you to warm me up.” You smiled. 

…

He quickly had you against the door the second you got in, kissing down your neck feverishly. It was the only thing he could do after you had been relentlessly going through his mind all week. He wanted nothing more than to feel every inch of you.

"Cloud," you moan, pulling at his vest and throwing it off of him.

"What?" He breathes, his hand reaching the back of your neck to pull you into another kiss.

"Do you know how hot you are?"

"Do you know how hot you are? Why the hell are you not naked yet?" He mumbles into your mouth, ripping your shirt off.

"Fuck." You gasp, as his lips travel down your chest, unclipping your bra. "Couldn't even wait to get onto the bed? Ah-!" His nimble fingers came to your breast, rolling the bud, his mouth sucking in your other nipple, tongue swirling around it. You grip onto his hair, your body burning, twitching. He lifts his head, his lips capturing yours again.

"You're beautiful."

"You're making me blush." You breathe, as his finger catches in your waistband, moving slowly.

“It looks good on you."

"Hurry up, please,"

"Begging already?"

"You've had me waiting long enough, I swear-" He presses his lips against yours again, silencing you.

"Patience."

"I can’t." You mutter as he pulls off your shorts and undergarments, bringing his face down, arms wrapped around your thighs to prop you up against the wall.

"Please, Cloud."

"God, I love it when you beg. You have no idea what it does to me." He groans, taking in what is in front of him. 

"Fucking do something about it." You say frustratedly, bucking your hips forward to prompt any kind of contact. 

"Didn't expect you to be such a brat." He nudges his nose against your clit, making your thighs squeeze, although forced back open by his arms.

"Cloud!"

He licks a long stripe down your pussy, his tongue slipping in. His tongue flicks, making you arch as you whisper his name over and over.

"Cloud, fuck, Cloud,"

"So pretty," he says, muffled.

"More, please."

He takes your clit into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it, his arms holding you up as you start to shake. His tongue works its way down, sliding in and out, nose pressed deeply into your sensitive bud. It didn't take you long to feel yourself build up to your finish.

"I'm close." You whimper, he feels your thighs tighten, letting your thighs squeeze his head and hang your legs over your shoulder. 

"Come on, baby."

You moan as your climax reaches, eyes rolling back, gripping his hair tightly. Your legs begin to twitch, his head lifting up.

"So perfect for me." He hums, standing up, held up by your ass as he brings your face up for a kiss. He brings you over to lie on his bed. He kisses down your body, making you whine.

"What about you?" You ask. 

"What about me?"

"Don't you want to finish?"

"You want me to fuck you?"

"God, yes."

"Are you sure you can handle it, princess?" He asks, undoing his trousers and removing the rest of his clothes. “How do you want it?”

"However you want."

"I asked how you wanted it, Y/n.”

"I'm indecisive, I just need you. Do whatever you want, please."

"You sure you're not going to regret that? I won't hold back." He says, kicking off his trousers. You can see the bulge through his boxers, making your heart stop for a minute. "Having second thoughts?"

"That's a lot for my first time."

"You're a virgin?"

"I don't exactly have time for boyfriends when I move all over the place."

"I'll be gentle then."

"I thought you said you weren't holding back." You sit up, watching him as he pulls it out, and kicks away his boxers too. Speechless.

"Only if you had a deathwish." He teases. 

"Can I suck it?"

"Only if you promise not to bite."

"No promises."

He smiles, stroking his cock a couple of times, standing over you. He lets your hand wrap around it, guiding you to his tip. You take him in your mouth, his hand tangling itself in your hair, gently guiding himself down your throat.

"You're so pretty." He groans. You swirl your tongue, making him buck his hips slightly, a moan escaping his lips. You hum, sending vibrations down his dick, his grip tightening in your hair.

"Faster," he pleads, thrusting into your mouth, your eyes watering as he goes deeper. "Fuck,"

He pulls out, you lick a long strip down the underside, sucking the tip. You can taste the precum as you go back to deepthroating him as far as you can manage until you feel his balls tighten.

"God, I could cum in your mouth right now."

You can feel him getting close, his grip starts to tighten. He pulls you away by your hair.

"I was going to let you finish me, but I want to hear you scream." He pushes you back down onto the bed, spreading your legs wide open. You can feel the heat radiating off of his dick, as it rests on your pelvis. "You still want this?"

"Yes, Cloud. Please, please."

"Needy thing." He says, leaning down to peck your lips. He swirls a finger around your clit, before pushing the tip against it, slowly running it up and down. He watches the way your face contorts in pleasure, as you grab the pillow underneath your head. He lines himself up, changing his mind at the last second with a grin, rubbing it up between your lips again. 

"Stop teasing me,"

"It's so fun to watch your squirm,"

"I'll finish myself off."

"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that if I'm holding you down?" He grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.

"I can't wait any longer, please."

"Since you're begging so nicely."

"God, finally." He leans over again, kissing you one more time before lining himself up. Slowly, pushing the tip in, and letting you adjust to the stretch as he stayed there for a minute. He groaned, it was already so tight, hot, wet.

"Fuck... So tight." He mutters, thrusting the tip in. "You okay?"

"Yeah." You twitch around him, and he feels it. He pushes in slowly, inch by inch. His cock filling you, the stretch getting wider, as he slides in completely, the inside of you full.

"Ah- Fuck."

"Want me to stop?" You shake your head. He bites down on his bottom lip. "God you feel so good." Slowly, he pulls out, the head catching on the edge, and pushes in again. The pace stays slow for a while, his hand holding your wrists above your head.

"Taking me so good." He moans, kissing your neck again. You whimper, any discomfort starting to melt away, pleasure taking over.

"Harder, Cloud."

He complies, snapping his hips into you, the pace slowly picking up. You cry out and his hand comes off your wrists to clamp around your mouth before you woke up everyone else, his thrusts turning into a fast and rough pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing through the room. His breath was hot on your neck, panting.

"You want it rough?" 

"God, please, yes." He pulls out suddenly, flipping you over onto your chest, your ass hanging in the air. 

His hand came to your hip, slamming back into you, grabbing a handful of hair and yanking it back, forcing your back to arch. His pace was brutal, his hand leaving your hip, coming to the small of your back, holding you in that position. The room filled with nothing but the sound of his balls hitting your clit, the obscene wet noise of his cock slipping in and out. You bury your face into the pillow, muffling the noises spilling out of your mouth.

"God, you take my cock so well. Such a good girl." He groans. His pace begins to stagger, his dick twitching inside you. "Can't believe I had to wait this long for you."

He pulls your head back, pressing his chest against your back. He kisses and sucks at the skin of your neck, his hips snapping against your ass, the sound of the headboard knocking against the wall. His hand comes back down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles, and it was overwhelming. You felt tears form in the corner of your eyes.

"I'm so close."

"Me too."

"Come on, y/n, cum on my cock." His hips snapped again, and you couldn't hold back anymore. The knot in your stomach released, your legs shaking.

"Fuck." He groans, his hips stuttering and his hand coming down to grip your ass, feeling the convulsions of your body around his dick. "I'm going to cum inside."

"Please."

"You want it?"

"Uh-huh."

He buries himself inside, a guttural groan escaping his throat, the heat of his cum filling you up, twitching, his thrusts slowing, riding out his orgasm. His arms wrapped around your body, keeping you pressed against his chest, as you both lay there, panting, trying to catch your breath.

"Fuck." He chuckles. "That was..."

"Wow."

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm seeing stars, I think. Or maybe I'm in love."

"You're definitely in love." He smiles, kissing your cheek. He thrusts deep into you one more time, his cock sensitive, the both of you moaning. "Round two?" He suggests.

"I'll die." He laughs and pulls out of you, you whimpering at the loss. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him.

"I'll get you a pill tomorrow morning, okay?"

"I have an important question."

He wraps his arms around your waist, his forehead pressed against yours. "Go on."

"How did you learn how to fuck so good?"

"I had a lot of pent-up energy."

"So I was just an easy outlet?"

"Maybe."

"I don't want to hear another word."

"I'm joking. It was pent up feelings, you idiot."

"Or maybe you're just a man whore?"

"No, definitely not. Just pent up feelings, like I said."

"For how long?"

"Like a year."

"That's a long time."

"I know."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought you didn't like me."

"Cloud."

“Mm.”

“You’re stupid.”

“I know. We could’ve fucked sooner.”

"Is that what you're really thinking about?"

"Not really. I'm thinking about how good your pussy feels around my cock."

"You're gross."

"You're gross, you made me cum inside you. They're going to give us an earful tomorrow, they definitely heard us." He mumbles, littering kisses up and down your neck again, wrapping his arms around you tighter. 

"Guess we better get some sleep then?"

“Anything you say, princess.”

-

this is my first time writing smut. not sure how to feel about it. maybe a little too fast paced but very fun to write, learnt a lot.

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[savage-rhi]

Immortal Shield Chapter 29: Devotions

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Tagging: @seradyn​

Caelan was soaked from head to toe, standing beside a thicket of trees on the brim between the woods and Keycatrich. Her mind was elsewhere, not able to take in the beauty of the new forest and green that surrounded the once desolate lands. Caelan winched from time to time. The wounds on her back throbbed from the weight of the rain falling upon her. She ignored the stinging twinge, her gaze focused on everything and nothing.

Mixed feelings brewed in her chest. It was strange to have Ardyn by her side after not seeing each other for so long. The fact he arrived to save her from the Einherjar before they could kill her was still a surprise in of itself. Ardyn had murmured while dressing her wounds that once he left Insomnia, and heard word of the group catching up to her position from locals, he didn’t have the luxury of waiting idly by while they took her down. He also admitted to being foolish diving headfirst into his apology; not forewarning her of the incoming attack. For someone that proclaimed he would kill her on sight if she interfered in his affairs, Caelan was beside herself regarding how Ardyn felt towards her.

It had been a week since the ambush. Caelan’s memories of the passing days were a blur and rather quiet. Ardyn barely muttered a sentence to her, but he made up for his silence in his actions. Caelan knew he had been doting on her. Changing her wound dressing’s when they became soiled, making sure she was comfortable in bed and no pressure was put upon her back, gently tugging off her shoes and shirt when it was excruciating to move her upper half, helping her to the bathroom when she needed to relieve herself, and cleaning her when it was too painful to enter the shower. He didn’t say anything, nor did Ardyn chide Caelan when she winced or grew frustrated. He was simply there at her beck and call, and she didn’t have to say a word. The deeds reminded Caelan of when she took care of Ardyn after he had been pierced through by the Behemoth. His services extended far beyond the regular care she had given him.

Caelan recalled Ardyn being contemplative and melancholy throughout the week, often looking out the window of the caravan he had rented out. As Caelan remained in the rain, finally allowing herself to bask in the fresh air after being cooped up for days while recovering, she wondered what had been running through his head all this time. Her muscles tensed. Having half a mind to confront Ardyn and even hurt him physically because of the emotional turmoil he bestowed upon her, the other part of herself didn’t have the heart. She was too drained to best anyone in combat much less give the Adagium himself a tongue lashing.

“Caelan,” A quiet sigh of relief caught her attention. She turned her head to see Ardyn standing a few feet away. There was concern etched on his features as he took a step forward. Caelan could see he was trying to gauge her reaction, not sure if he should come closer.

“I needed to step out,” Caelan murmured, giving a nod with her head that he could approach. She watched him, seeing he was being mindful to not rush at her, yet he seemed to struggle with restraint.

“You seem upset.” Caelan remarked.

“No,” Ardyn shook his head. He stopped in front of her, his head tilting to the side as he inquisitively looked her over. “I assure you I’m not. I was concerned. I couldn’t find you in the caravan.”

“I’m fine, really.” Caelan said, offering a few nods to reassure not Ardyn but herself that she would be despite the ambiguous feelings she was trying to sort through on her own.

Ardyn made a face, not buying it in the slightest. However, he knew he was in no position to ask Caelan further questions. She didn’t owe him anything, even if he had come to her aid and saved her from death. Not after he grossly tossed her aside.

“How long have you been standing here?” This much Ardyn would allow himself to ask of her.

“I can’t recall,” Caelan shrugged. She winced, feeling her back muscles tighten as her injuries made it clear they didn’t like the sudden motion. She saw Ardyn’s left hand reach out, seemingly to comfort her until he retreated. Once more, the uncertainty of where he stood appeared to have him second-guessing.

“You must be freezing,” Ardyn said and he shrugged off his long coat. He carefully put it over Caelan’s shoulders. His hands gently made adjustments so she was comfortable. He kept his eyes on the material and his fingers, not wanting to look her in the eye unless prompted.

“Before you protest, I’m quite alright in the rain,” Ardyn remarked as he continued his ministrations. “Having been frozen over many a time by a certain Astral, you get used to it.”

Caelan’s chuckle at the remark had Ardyn smiling as he stopped after patting down the shoulders. When he was done, he pulled away and gave her a once over while his arms crossed. Humming in thought.

“What is it?” Caelan asked.

“You’re missing something,” Ardyn replied then perked his eyebrows up. “Ah, that’s it!”

Ardyn removed his hat, tilting the black fedora to the side as he scraped away some debris off its crown then carefully placed it atop Caelan’s head. The hat sunk downward, her skull being a little small for the size. Ardyn couldn’t suppress a chortle. He watched her mouth form into a frown before Caelan tilted the brim up. Their eyes met one another as they simultaneously laughed.

Caelan didn’t know how long they were at it. Her sides were starting to strain until Ardyn gestured and complimented.

“You wear it well, my attire.” He said sincerely.

The comment made Caelan blush. Goosebumps littered her arms from the sway of his voice. She hated it. How even after everything he had put her through, Ardyn had that effect. He must’ve caught wind of her sudden hesitation, for she could see the worry he had resurfaced.

“I sense my gesture made you uncomfortable,” Ardyn stated. His brows furrowed. He shook his head at himself, sighing before he attempted to speak. “I want to assure you my intentions were--”

“Ardyn,” Caelan interrupted. She watched as he immediately went silent. There was no malice in his gaze towards the interjection. He simply stared, waiting for her to speak up.

“Don’t, please. I need to say something. I want you to listen. Whatever leaves me, I don’t care what happens after this. Can I have your word that you understand?” Caelan asked. She saw him bite his lip, seemingly conflicted at the request but alas he gave a nod.

“You have it.” Ardyn spoke softly, making the seriousness of his agreement to her terms known. He visibly tensed. The rainwater was seeping through his clothes now, exposing bits of his body here and there with the see-through material of his white overshirt. He didn’t like how stuck it felt to his skin, but he didn’t move to adjust for comfort. Ardyn saw that if he didn’t give Caelan his undivided attention at this moment he’d jeopardize any potential to set things right.

Caelan could feel whatever resolve she had at that moment begin to unravel. She shuddered underneath Ardyn’s jacket. The leftover warmth from his body had her second guessing everything she had prepared mentally for the past few hours she lingered in the storm. Her throat bobbed while she swallowed, observing how Ardyn’s gaze was fixated on her alone. He was like stone, and it didn’t matter how much the rain pooled on him; he didn’t budge.

“What you said and did to me back at the Cape was beneath anything I’d ever experienced from another person. It was on par with my dad. I had no right to hit you that night, not when you called me out for taking advantage of Julian's love in order to kill him. I sit with that every day. I’m delusional to think I'm absolved of guilt regarding him. I stood by and watched my dad slaughter innocents, and only took action when I was backed into a corner and had nowhere to run. I’m a fucking coward. You were right.”

Caelan paused for a moment, blinking a few times. She knew he couldn’t see her crying with how bad the downpour was, but she had a gut feeling Ardyn would stop her if he saw any hint of sadness leave her eyes.

“After I had time to settle my feelings when you left, I loathed you and I hated myself for giving a damn about your wellbeing. When you approached me at Galdin Quay and told me your proposition, I had no intention of getting attached. Your life for my freedom was of no consequence to my feelings. You were my ticket to redemption. I’d be a hero not only to Lucis but to the other kingdoms who suffered because of you. I’d be the warrior Julian always wanted, the son he wanted my brother to be. It was such an easy task, delivering you for slaughter, and yet I--” Another pause. She was finding it hard to keep composure.

“You got under my skin. After the Einherjar chased us away from Insomnia, my feelings for you just--happened. Overtime as we got to know one another. I think it was when we helped Kurt and Florens, and when they reunited I saw how you looked at me. There was this--hope in your eyes that had me sinking and feeling powerful all at once. Then you kissed my knuckles and I was done for. Subconsciously, I thought I could convince you to give life another try. You may not believe me, but I tried to stop it. I felt so horrible for even looking at you in that way when I knew you wanted to be reunited with Aera. She was an amazing woman, and I feel terrible knowing she was robbed of being with you because of fate. I feel horrid at the thought I was pining for her husband, even though she’s been dead. Gods I--I words can’t express it enough. If there was some way I could’ve brought her back to you, I’d gladly go through with it. There’s a part of me that wished Serpo succeeded with Oraculum when he took me.” Caelan observed Ardyn’s features change. He appeared tense, maybe even mad but he didn’t say a word.

“I know I’m not Aera, and I don’t want to be. I’m me, but a part of myself wished I could’ve been more like her so you’d see me. So--so you could live. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I tried to take away your choices. I’m sorry I tried to rob you of rest, and I’m sorry I didn’t want to see you reunited with Aera. Not in death.”

Ardyn was speechless. His hair was flattened by the rain embedding itself into the red strands. For the first time in years, he felt shaken. His breath was barely a whisper as his warm amber eyes held a cold gaze towards his Caelan. He felt uneasy. Emotions flooded through his body as he remained neutral.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Caelan said, shaking her head as the rain picked up.

"I--" Calean hesitated to speak further. The fact that Ardyn was silent and his piercing eyes saw through her made the situation more intimidating.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Caelan repeated. She couldn’t finish up any more thoughts. Her resolution had broke. Ardyn now owned the field, and Caelan knew she had no right to what he would say or do next.

"And yet it did." Ardyn coolly stated. There had been signs Caelan held affection towards him. Soft gestures and musings that he either was too stubborn to pick up on or was too enraptured in his own misery to seek out. Every act of kindness, every moment of respite Ardyn had with her, every lingering touch...it was overwhelming, and yet like pieces of an intricate puzzle, it suddenly came together revealing the overall picture of the situation.

For the thousands of years he had been alive, Ardyn had never felt more idiotic than now. He wondered how he could be so blinded to not pick up on the fact she loved him this whole time. Even when he had departed from her, Ardyn had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact someone loved him.

Someone. Loved. Him.

Not his Aera, but someone else. Someone from a different time. A time he was not meant to be a part of. Yet here he stood.

Ardyn wasn't one to get spooked. Always one step ahead of everybody, even the damned Gods. As the rain hit his flesh harder, feeling like small daggers dragging on his nerves, he felt terrified. For a brief moment, as he blinked, Caelan looked like Aera in his field of vision. He could see it so clearly: Somnus's blade piercing delicate flesh. Warm blood pooled into the porcelain grounds of the palace. Blond hair stained with deep reds and debris. He closed his eyes, a vain attempt to lock away the dread.

He wondered if it would all fall apart yet again.

"Ardyn, I'm sorry."

Caelan’s plea was enough to pull him out of his memories. He wasn't holding the corpse of his love. Nor was the unbridled rage he held towards his brother consuming him. Everything was silent. Not even the rain held noise as he stepped closer to Caelan. His hands cradled her face as he shook his head.

"No. No, you're not." He whispered. “And neither am I.”

His lips ghosted over Caelan’s before he took the plunge. Ardyn didn't hold back. His mouth moved dangerously across Caelan’s lips, showing off his true nature; all-consuming and unyielding. He kissed Caelan as if he hadn't breathed in thousands of years, desperate for air. Almost as if the rain itself was drowning them both and Ardyn could only rely on her for a chance to see the surface.

Hands tangled up in hair, fingertips digging into flesh, tongues acquainting themselves, the sensations were too much that it almost hurt.

Ardyn couldn't remember the last time he felt shocked wide awake. That he felt alive in ways that couldn't be expressed in words, only through touch. Caelan’s soft moans against his lips edged him onward, knowing there was no going back and he didn't give a damn about it. He couldn't save Aera, he doubted he could spare Caelan of her fate in the grand scheme of things, but if Caelan and he were to fall, at least they'd go down together. He'd make sure of that. He wouldn’t make the same mistake. He wouldn’t leave her behind like she was dirt upon his feet.

In between rasps and groans, Ardyn smiled against Caelan’s lips. His bottom lip trembled as he let out a sigh. He was in rapture. Caelan’s confessions replayed through his mind as he kissed her passionately. In a million years, Ardyn never thought he was capable of feeling this way again.

It was amazing, the power her mouth had over him. He knew from this point forward, that he had her back and she had his heart. Fate saw to it, that it be so. He pulled away, giving them both a chance to breathe. His knuckles gently glided across her cheek, moving a wet strand of hair away as he looked into Caelan’s eyes; a whirlwind of affection and caution in her pupils.

“Would it be too bold on my part to call you Cahl again?” Ardyn whispered, his breath ghosting over Caelan’s face. He felt guilty for asking, but couldn’t resist. He missed it so much, calling her that.

Caelan shook her head, grinning as her body quaked. So many emotions swirled through her now that they stopped kissing. So much so she was fully in tears. He didn’t have to say he loved her. It was enough that she felt it when he called her by the nickname he bestowed when they first began traveling.

“No, it wouldn’t be a problem.” She murmured. Relishing in the feel of his forehead touching hers, their noses brushing against the others before Ardyn initiated another peck. It was soft and quick unlike before.

“Can I get you out of the rain, Cahl?” He breathed.

Caelan nodded. Her stomach twisted in gentle knots as he took her hand and led the way back to the caravan. Even with his hat and coat on, Caelan watched in awe at how Ardyn lifted his spare arm up and attempted to add more shelter to her body.

The silence on the way back to the caravan transcended words. Ardyn carefully guided Caelan up the steps into the caravan, following behind her. He took her hand into his, leading her to the bedroom of the long trailer, and had her sit on the edge. He bent down on his knees in front of her, taking off her soaked shoes and socks, sitting them aside. He watched as Caelan removed his coat and hat, placing them opposite of her. His brows knitted into a concerned glare, noticing her shiver.

“Cahl,”

“Yeah?” Her eyes met his. She felt a warmth creep into her face seeing the hesitation that lingered in his golden irises.

“Would you be alright with me removing your pants?”

“What?” Her eyes widened.

“I mean,” Ardyn rubbed the back of his neck. He felt like a child all over again, trying to appease a crush and not embarrass them. “You’re soaked head to toe. Staying in your clothes will make recovery worse for you. You need to keep warm. I only want to help so you don’t exert yourself.”

Caelan blinked a few times, letting out a breath. They had moments ago professed their feelings towards one another. Surely something like this shouldn’t be a bother, right? Caelan thought to herself. When they had been just companions, things were straightforward. All of this was new territory. She found herself nodding to his request, and pulled the top part of her pants downward while Ardyn gently tugged the pant legs down and off of her body.

Caelan thought he would have lingered, seeing she was only in her underwear yet he rose up and gestured for her to scoot closer to the edge. Caelan kept her eyes on him while her cold hands shakingly raised up. Ardyn tugged the material off, discarding it next to his jacket and hat. Her gaze lowered while her heart hammered steadily in her chest. Though she was nearly naked, Ardyn’s eyes never strayed from her face. There was a care in his features that Caelan couldn’t sum up with words, only feel. Her eyes fluttered shut as Ardyn leaned down a little and forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead then pulled back.

Now on his feet, Ardyn gestured with his head for Caelan to travel up the mattress and lay down against the pillows. He watched her perform the action, giving a soft smile. His eyes fixated on his overshirt. He carefully unbuttoned starting from the bottom up, then rolled his shoulders to cast it off his body. His pants soon afterwards followed suit. He was silently thankful his boxers weren’t damp and he crawled into bed, scooting close to Caelan and laying down beside her. An arm wrapped around her waist, hand cupping close to her bottom so he could avoid touching the bandages. He could feel their legs already tangling up together for warmth.

A soft grunt left Ardyn when Caelan adjusted her body, her front meeting his chest. He smiled feeling her warm breaths against his neck and rewarded more kisses to her head. His nose nuzzled in between strands of her hair while Caelan pulled a blanket over themselves. There was a moment both of them nuzzled and burrowed against one another while the material fell upon them. Each taking in the others scent and texture of flesh.

Ardyn had missed this. Being so close to another human being in this manner. 2,000 years had been a long time to go without this form of contact. He wondered how he didn't give in to these feelings while he was chancellor. It was almost unbearable to comprehend not having.

They laid together for sometime sharing warmth. Ardyn absentmindedly carded his fingers through Caelan’s hair while her sleepy eyes watched the rise and fall of his chest. The rain picked up more outside along with the wind. The pattering rhythmic along the rooftop of the caravan. A peace settled between them both, only broken when Ardyn breathed out against her skin. He furrowed his brows, closing his eyes. A foreboding sensation began to root itself in his head.

“Somnus slayed Aera before my eyes.” Ardyn murmured. His fingers trembled against Caelan’s scalp as he continued his ministrations.

“He engaged me in combat after announcing to the people of Lucis that the Astrals deemed him worthy as king. He called me out as the usurper. I had no intentions to hurt him. My love for my brother caused me to hesitate several times while we fought. He stabbed me through, and to my horror, fully intended to kill me. Aera came between us at the killing blow. She took it. She took it all on my behalf.” Ardyn’s eyes shut tightly. The sight of Aera’s mangled form in his arms rapidly took precedence. He could feel her hand to his cheek, how her fingertips grew cold with each passing second before she faded in his grasp.

“Had I been decisive, had I not allowed my own feelings get in the way of the battle, I could’ve stopped her from getting hurt. I could’ve saved her.” It was only when Ardyn felt Caelan snuggle more into his chest with her cheek did he calm down. His voice remained morose while he spoke up softly again.

“What you did for me back there with the Einherjar,” Ardyn had difficulty saying the rest. His grasp around Caelan’s body tightened for emphasis, for he couldn't convey the rest.

“I was afraid Cahl, I was so afraid.” There was a tremor to his words as he pressed a firm kiss to Caelan’s forehead. His arms and hands carefully adjusted, pulling back so he could look upon her face. The adoration and sadness of her eyes had him nearly in tears as he easily swapped Aera and Caelan in the horrific experience.

“I have but one condition regarding us being together,” Ardyn said firmly, his features retained the fondness he had for Caelan.

“Name it.” Caelan murmured. Her heart increased steadily. The melancholy in his voice as he explained what happened to Aera had her in tears. She felt the pain of his loss. The heaviness of it on his shoulders, knowing deep down he was equally responsible as was Somnus.

“Don't ever stick out your neck for mine.” Ardyn glanced between Caelan’s lips and eyes. His bottom lip trembled. “I respect you as a warrior, yet If you must perish, don’t leave me like that. I can’t go through it again.”

Caelan smiled faintly, nodding as her eyes closed. Tears carded down her cheek as she sniffled and rested her gaze on his face, taking in the features she loved about him. His hair and how it framed his face. His patches of stubble here and there. His nose. His eyes. All of him.

“Do you still intend to meet a true death at Noctis’s hand?” Caelan asked. She couldn’t help but wonder given the severity of his request. She shook her head against the pillow, looking deeply in his eyes.

“I’ll still help you if you want to see him. I know you need answers. I can promise you many things, but I can’t promise I’ll sit back and watch him take you.”

“I have no intention to be permanently vanquished by a cruel fate,” Ardyn said sincerely. “If I have to kill the Gods again or slay another king, I’ll do it if it means I won’t leave you behind.”

“You promise?”

“I swear it.” Ardyn said firmly. His expression matching the tone of his vow. “I’ve wasted a lot of years being angry. I want the good, and I want to have it with you.”

“What if you die though?” Caelan teased, trying to lighten up the tension. She watched Ardyn chuckle, giving a grin as he let out a sigh.

“I’m immortal,” Ardyn shrugged, offering a lopsided smile. “Go to Angelgard and wait for me there. I’ll creep back. Knowing you, I’m sure you wouldn’t let me rest in peace. I can see you conjuring up a ouija board already to dial in and command I return.”

Caelan let out a tired laugh, shaking her head. “What if nothing happens to neither of us at Insomnia?”

“We’ll celebrate our success at survival and I’ll take you to Niflheim,” Ardyn’s smile grew. “We’ll travel together like we’ve been doing.”

“Would you still care about me when I’m brittle and bone and you’re forever middle aged and handsome?”

“Of course,” Ardyn mused, looking over Caelan’s form as he cupped her face. His thumb brushing against her cheek. “I want you for this lifetime. Even if you’re old and miserable and I rub it in your face every so often.”

“What if someone catches onto our age gap?”

“So?” Ardyn made a face and shrugged. “People can call me a cradle snatcher. I’m over 2,000 years old. I could care less for such opinions that have no merit.”

Caelan snorted, laughing hard against his chest as her head fell forward. Ardyn’s own chortles followed behind.

“You really thought this through.”

“That I did.” Ardyn laughed. “Once I hashed out my apology speech, I immediately went to conspiring how to convince you us being a couple would be worth it.”

“What about when I do die?” Caelan muttered. She knew Ardyn was far ahead, but she wondered just how far he pushed the envelope regarding them being together. There were so many variables going against them, and yet he managed to slay the doubt attached to them all thus far. She felt a chill travel down her spine, remembering she was close to death not long ago. The experience had Caelan re-evaluating much of her life.

“I’ll sleep,” Ardyn said simply. His voice drew her out of the darkness of her thoughts. “I’ll sleep for thousands of years until Eos and the stars become dust. I’ll dream about you, I’ll dream about Aera, and everyone I’ve cared for until we meet again.”

“You wouldn’t allow yourself to be happy with another?”

Ardyn nodded. A soft hum left him as he gathered his thoughts on her question. He smiled, thinking back to a thought provoking conversation he had not that long ago with a remarkable older woman. He finally understood it. Where Florens was coming from.

“Aera was my first love, and I want you to be my last.” Ardyn replied. He hoped the honesty in his voice was enough reassurance as any for Caelan regarding where he stood.

Caelan’s gentle features and smile began to falter. She averted her gaze, causing Ardyn to grimace as he worriedly carded his eyes over her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not worth all this.”

“Oh,” Ardyn furrowed his brows. He gathered Caelan up further into his embrace, minding where he touched her back but made it known with his actions he wasn’t going to tolerate such statements. Her bouts of giggles that trailed out of her mouth as he nuzzled and peppered her with months worth of kisses he wanted to give her had him euphoric.

“I don’t see it that way,” Ardyn breathed out, refraining from his antics while he pulled back from her throat. He kissed the side of Caelan’s cheek longingly and murmured against her flesh. “I love you.”

Caelan let his words fill her with absolution. She smiled big, so much so it hurt. Her pulse thumped erratically in her chest. If there were anyway she could carve out her heart and give it to him, she’d do so.

“You sound so certain.” Caelan murmured out loud, catching Ardyn’s smirk as he played with some strands of her hair, looking down upon her.

“And you’re not?” Ardyn raised a brow. “Do you love me?”

Caelan nodded. “I love you very much.”

“Prove it.” Ardyn teased. He eyes widened in surprise as Caelan dived for him. Her mouth pressing onto his with force. He barely registered her body had crawled atop of his. Instinctively, he adjusted his body to accommodate her, his arms wrapped around her waist, drawing her close as their lips tugged and pulled against the other tenderly. Gods, he was in bliss. He loved how she fit perfectly against him. Like they were made for one another. He tangled a hand in her hair, tugging downward as Caelan's hips ground against him involuntarily. His heart rate increased from the action as did his hands. He kneaded at her flesh, squeezing and pulling.

“Ardyn,”

“Hm?” He groaned against her lips upon feeling her moan his name, pulling back some. His hands carded through her hair, brushing it from Caelan’s eyes. “What’s the matter sweet girl?”

“I’m sorry,” Caelan muttered, letting out a pained sigh. Her hands rested on either side of his face upon the mattress. “You touched one of the wounds. It hurts.”

“Oh no, no, no,” Ardyn carefully scooped Caelan up, laying her back on her side beside him. He was careful to not bump her while she winced. “I should be more mindful.”

“No, you’re good.” Caelan protested, then made a face as he relaxed beside her. “I want to keep going.”

“As do I,” Ardyn admitted. He kissed her several times on the lips before pulling back. Eyes half hooded while he gazed into her. “We will have plenty of time for such occasions. Right now, you need to rest.”

“Fine,” Caelan let out a defeated but weak laugh. She wasn’t sure if it was his words that triggered her, but Caelan could feel the heavy pull of sleep wanting to take her eyes all of a sudden. Maybe their activity had been too much after all. “You’re not going anywhere, right?”

“No, no,” Ardyn murmured, shaking his head. He once more bundled Caelan up to his body, adjusting the blanket so they were back underneath it. “I’m right here. I’ll be here when you wake up too. You and I will figure things out. I assure you.”

Upon hearing his promise, Caelan allowed herself to fall under the spell of slumber. Ardyn sighed contently, once more returning to carding his fingers through her hair. A habit he knew he'd never grow tired of.

Ardyn wasn’t sure how long their happiness would last. Especially with what was coming in the future, but no matter the outcome, he was faithful to the truth he had told her at Vesperpool: he wanted Caelan with him. And he’d he sure to make it all count in the end.

“I love you,” Ardyn murmured against her, breathing in Caelan’s scent. “Please, don’t leave me anytime soon.”

#immortal shield #ardyn lucis caelum #ardyn izunia #ardyn #ffxv #final fantasy xv #original characters #fanfic #fancition #idgaf if its sappy as shit #im perfectly justified #i put these two fuckers through some serious shit over 300 and something pages long #they deserve it #thank you to everyone making me feel better about embracing the fluff rot