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bitchryver · 6 years

Note

controversial opinion you should give us your bi aelin headcanons

sorry this took so long to answer I’ve been on a hunt for receipts x

aelin ashryver is bisexual: a summary

-I’m indebted forever to @blackbeaktrash for pointing this out to me but uhhh remember that post about how Mulan Korra and the short one from the time traveling lesbian game all had one thing in common- the bisexual hair cut ? hello aelins fresh chop in HoF

- the assassin and the desert. every single line. is a wlw tragedy romance ripped straight from a mythology.

- let’s get some direct quotes from the gay awakening that was the assassin and the desert:

“Celaena tried not to look too interested, though the girl was one of the most stunning people she’d ever beheld.”

“And somehow, the thought of returning to Rifthold without Ansel was a tad unbearable.”

“Celaena couldn’t stop her lips from trembling as she asked, “Was it ever real?”

“Ansel opened one eye, staring at the far wall. “There were some moments when it was. The moment I sent you away, it was real.”

“ And I think she sent you away because she truly cared for you.

She hated her mouth for wobbling. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

-like Sam is nice rip but I refuse to believe he was aelins first love interest when ansel exists

- i understand where people are coming from when they talk about malide being canon if manon was a man but….i present example a- ansel and celaena the original gay love story to never happen and yet be laced with romantic chemistry

-anyway read the gayssassin and the desert

-aelin describing every woman she meets as beautiful and ethereal and then men are like…’he was tall. he had sword’

- yrene in tab: ‘wow I’d love to travel and be a healer so I could help people’

-aelin, emptying her pockets: you’re so pretty I love you here’s a sack full of cash is that enough? You’re so talented ily

-she loves swords & swords belong to the gays

-aelin calling cha0l ugly the first time she meets him…compared with yrene, a straight woman who’s immediately attracted to him…..Noah fence but….that was her gaydar trying to warn her :/

-aelins the only one who calls out these dumb ass white frat boys on their privilege and their upper class straight man bullshit!!shes having none of it !!!

-doriman in tog: “hey aelin? would you ever consider putting your life at risk and jeopardizing your safety to be with me?”

-aelin, right before she goes to have breakfast in bed with her beloved idol nehemia:

-while we’re on the subject, aelin taking literal WEEKS to notice if a mans attractive or not but describing every woman she meets as good looking within SECONDS even if she hates them

-Like LOOK

-I mean I cannot relate to the straight experience but I cannot imagine this is how a straight woman talks about women

-SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE LYSANDRA AND SHES ALL IN THERE TALKING ABOUT HER ‘SENSOUS MOUTH’ IN QOS i mean

-aelin: the woman was built like a mythical goddess…she radiated beauty and sensuality from every pore

-aelin : this is rowan he’s my husband and he’s built like a TANK

-It took aelin six months to realize he was hot compared to literally everybody else who wanted to jump him mere seconds after meeting him(with the exception of manon, a proud lesbian but anyway)

-girl cannot sit in a fucking chair properly!! always throwing herself sideways or dangling off of it or slouching in it or something

-spitting jewels out of her mouth? Performing foreplay in a room full of powerful men and borian? gay

-i don’t know about you gals but I always get a ring engraved to give to my personal (straight)friends when I ask them to spend the rest of their life with me…

-when Rowan’s like ‘aw man can’t wait to get back and go to bed with my wife’ and the next line is like ‘aelin and lysandra were lying together, asleep’

-aelin saw the absolute straight man manic pixie nonsense quail and dorito were throwing at her and was like ‘bummer uhhh fuck both of you?’ instead of wasting her life and energy on men who didn’t appreciate her that’s all bi energy babes!

-aelin and manon having a metaphorical dick measuring contest but with swords

-aelin polishing nesryns dagger and dreaming of buying her a new one

-aelin telling kale that nesryn can speak for herself !!! Shut up!!!

- nesryn: mind your own business brullo lmao #nosy as fuck

-aelin, who had a dagger at this woman’s back not even 12 hours earlier:

-Aedion: haha…so aelin only invited nesryn out to have drinks with us because she needed an extra pair of hands because I was injured….what a smart strategic move

-aelin: nesryn you look lonely do you want to come with us ? Tell me about yourself. What’s your family like? How do you get your hair so smooth? Do you want my social security number?

-aelin loved nehemia so much she dumped stale whitebread and got written off as a terrible character by the Discourse Police: Cha0l Division. that’s love.

-attempting to murder the man ur fuckin after he’s involved in the murder of your beloved gay friend? hm. not a straight aura but #prove #me #wrong

-aelin keeps all her nails long except her sword hands so she can keep the aesthetic and weapon functionality but also keep a gay functionality

- in tower of dawn whomst does aelin write to? out of every one of the royal family ? lesbian icon and love of my life Hasar. aelin sensed incredible chaotic gay wlw energy from ACROSS the sea and knew immediately where the real power was. gaydar in action

- aelin has impeccable taste in fashion and upholstery, unrivaled by any other person in tog

-listen I live with 2 straight people and I promise you. The only one who cares enough about proper home decor, mood lighting and pretty things that were very expensive- is the gay one: me

-all the men hate her all the women love her lmao that says it all

- chaotic disaster gay aelin ashryver. Hurricane wlw nightmare woman tearing through these streets

-made a post about it here already but aelins like ‘fuck I can’t like manon but her fucking sword is so cool jesus christ’ that’s gay

- when aelin finds out manon graciously allowed snorian to have sex with her: I do NOT approve but go ahead ruin ya life lol

-when aelin finds out manon left elide alone in oakweld: what the FUCK did you do to that precious beautiful angel were it not for the laws of this land-

-MANON ‘LESBIAN’ BLACKBEAK herself says aelin radiates a gay aura she’s disappointed when she meets her in eos because all the batshit chaotic neutral gay has been depleted from her due to over exposure to straight men

-manons entire arc re: aelin in eos was ‘i should rip her throat out but i get where this stupid gay is coming from so’

-aelin giving a woman she’s just met the necklace her abuser gave her on her 16th? power move. gay power move.

- i love her so much but she’s. so goddamn stupid. and that’s such a mood

- Getting My Whole Ass Out To Prove Were Platonic Friends …that’s a level of denial I can’t even cover

-don’t know if I said it earlier but when aelin asks Lys to join her and lys says oh are you proposing, aelin..doesn’t say no lmao she’s just like ‘tragically I find myself with a life partner’

-lysandra sleeping on aelins lap while aelin downs 2 bottles of wine and flirts with ansel, while all the men look on annoyed that aelin did all of their jobs for them- gay imagery

- listen if ansel ‘murdered my boyfriend of 5yrs saving the girl I knew for a month’ briarcliff approves of you then…you’re gay. you just are.

-aelin ’ill murder you if so much as make EYE CONTACT with any of my women’ ashryver

- I said it already but. There is no better way to indicate that you are living life as our lady sappho intended than having a plethora of boring straight men hate you.

-That’s one of the things you need to have before they let you be gay

-aelins the only character who’s like- you know what I’m missing from my life? Women. I should go out and meet more of those

-killing the man who murdered your beloved friend in the exact same way he tortured her killing the man who set it up and basking in his blood am I right ladies

-aelin acknowledging she’s pretty because she works at it ? Maybe the only ya fantasy character who cannonically exfoliates, moisturizes, and uses toner and serum??? And you except me to sit here and assume she’s straight ???? In this economy ?????

-and yeah I’m absolutely 100% projecting because i love her. maybe blonde emotional chaotic bisexual fashion icons should look after each other now and then.

what do I know i clearly missed the gay memo where we all hate her now or something lmaooo anyway

#answered #if kingdom of ash doesnt put hasar aelin and manon in a room and have them lovingly beat the shit out of each other #then we're throwing the whole throne of glass away #rowaelin and anselaena are both good btw but celaena absoutely should have got with ansel

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