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barnesbabee · 3 years

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collab || J.Y

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ 2 - ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴍ.ʟɪꜱᴛ

Summary: Two famous porn stars have a fun collab together.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x gn!reader

Words: Just enough

⚠ although there is no mention of gender, the reader wears makeup and lingerie, so if you are uncomfortable with that, don't read ⚠

As Yunho dried his hair with a small towel, he heard the familiar ding sound from his social media. He had just finished uploading the edited version of his live stream, so it wasn't unusual for him to be contacted by a bunch of people right after, however, he didn't expect to see you.

You weren't well known in the porn scenario, as you were fairly new and the competition was vast, but your 'Around The World' series had become a huge success and a major hit for its originality.

Yunho was quite a fan of the series, so when he saw your message, his fingers were crossed.

Y/N: Hello! My name is Y/N, I'm not sure if you know my work, but I am a porn star that is currently doing a series called 'Around The World' where I... well, fuck people all around the world. My next stop is South Korea and I have seen your work before and I think our style is very similar and I would love to do a collab with you! Feel free to check out my work on my page, I hope to hear from you soon! xoxo

The tall man squealed like a high schooler getting a text from his crush, he's always wanted a collab and now he was about to get one in one of the biggest series of the moment!

Yunhxxx: Hello Y/N! I am aware of your series and I am a fan! I would love to do the collab with you! I'll send you my number so we can talk about the details more comfortably :)

Part of your anxiousness died down at his response. Most porn stars were very polite and kind in front of the camera, and in business discussion, all for that quick buck, but you'd find, with your series, that a lot of them were just assholes with a huge ego. You had a good feeling about Yunho, but you didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed.

The arrangements didn't take long, as you were both excited for the collab to happen, making it very easy to communicate. Yunho was kind enough to offer his own home for you to sleep in, arguing that 'whoever fucks me gets to sleep in my house for free'.

Yunho spent the weekend preparing everything for your arrival on Monday morning: he cleaned his whole house, stocked his fridge and cabinets with all sorts of food, and sanitized every toy of his. By the time he received your 'I'm on my way!' text, his house was the cleanest it had ever been.

The man showered, put on his best cologne, and applied some dark eyeshadow under his eyes. As he stood in front of the closet in his briefs only, he wondered what he should go for. A sophisticated look? A sexy look? An outlaw-looking look? He wanted something to get you immediately attracted to him. Yunho wanted to make you feel good, not to make you act as if you felt good.

Ultimately he chose a black button-up and black suit pants. He decorated his long fingers (that he had come to learn was something many people liked about him) and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

Yunho was aware of his innocent appearance. He had had his cheeks squeezed one too many times, so he caught on quickly. However, the man loved to play with his looks. He loved to make people wonder what kind of person he was, with a cute face, yet an intimidating look.

Before he knew it, his doorbell rang. Yunho took one last look in the mirror, just to make sure everything was in its place and walked towards the door. The first hello wasn't awkward at all, as you'd already had a few zoom calls to discuss what would happen in your collab, just to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

Once you stepped in with your suitcase, you couldn't help but notice how neat, modern, and well decorated his house was. The walls were white with big windows, and the furniture was a mix of grey, light blue, and white. Yunho lead you to the guest room where you'd be staying, and it was a lot nicer than you expected. The bed was high and large, the duvet was grey with a bunch of fluffy white and red pillows decorating it. In front of the bed was a modern black vanity with lightbulbs around the squared mirror, and against the wall in front of the door was a black, sliding door wardrobe, with a large, orange, and red abstract painting of a couple. His house looked simple yet classy, with just the right amount of colour and decoration. You took a look at him, his dark look contrasting the house.

"You already got prepared?"

Yunho looked a little puzzled for a second, but then understood. "Oh! Oh no, you've just arrived, you must be tired! This is just... how I dress?" He said, feeling a little embarrassed.

You took a good look at his outfit.

"You always dress like that? Wow..."

Yunho's cheeks became a little red at the comment, and he stumbled over his words as he thanked you. He was used to receiving compliments when he had his clothes off, but with clothes on? Not so much... Before closing the door, Yunho told you to feel at home, and that when you were ready you could start setting everything up in the room he used to shoot.

The man had never felt that nervous, so when he finally closed the door, he immediately headed to his living room, and found the whiskey bottle he kept for emergencies. He poured a generous glass and sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as he waited for you.

You were pretty much used to the routine, and since you had a stopover in a neighboring country and spent the night there, the trip hadn't been too tiring. You sat on the very convenient vanity and re-did your makeup. You liked to match your look to your type of content, so you went for a dark look: dark purple lipstick, a heavy, black smokey eye, and loads of mascara. You made sure to apply a lot, so it would run down your face and give the viewers the fucked out look they loved to see.

The lingerie matched your makeup: black lace lingerie with some bling here and there, and a garter belt to accessorize. You grabbed your robe from your suitcase and exited the room.

"Yunho?" You called, peeking your head from behind the wall.

"Hm?"

His eyes widened when he looked up. You were completely different from the person he had met.

"I am ready if you are!"

He nodded and stood up, downing the rest of his 2nd whiskey cup in one go. Yunho took you upstairs and opened the door to his 'studio'.

In the center of the room was a carpet, and a big, empty space behind it.

"I usually move the bed or the couch over there, depending on what I want to do that day. I found that it was easier to move the furniture than the whole set up." He explained, pointing at the empty space.

Against the wall, opposite of you, there was a bed, much like the one on your bedroom, and a nice, black leather couch. Beside you there was a closet, where Yunho kept all his toys, accessories, and streaming outfits. Other than that it was just the usual setup: a desk with a computer, professional lights, and a camera.

Yunho walked over to the couch and moved it with ease to the empty space.

"So we've already decided?" You asked.

The man smirked as if simply entering the room turned him into a completely different person.

"I already have everything planned out for you dear, it would be rude to have my guests work."

You blushed slightly, and sat on the couch, waiting for the green light.

You watched as he opened the closet, displaying his wide collection. He picked a bunch of stuff that he set on top of a towel on the floor.

"Alright, that's about it."

You cocked your head to the side, in confusion.

"You're not getting dressed?"

Yunho reached for the choker he had brought and softly placed it around your neck, tying it just tight enough. He hooked his finger on the big metal ring on the front and tugged on it. You followed his silent command and knelt on the ground, in front of the couch.

"I'm already dressed, for the concept we're gonna try."

You were getting curious and excited. You stayed still as he started up the live stream. Yunho turned on the lights, set up the camera, and pressed 'Start Live Video'. The screen counted down from five, until the live started.

Yunho sat on the couch behind you, and placed his large hand on your head.

The man smirked as soon as the comments started raining.

There was a mixture of fuck yeah's and happy cheers as they recognized Yunho, and became excited for what was to come. The live was obviously happening on your account, although you would always split the tips with the person you worked with.

"Hello," Yunho started, and you let him take the lead "welcome to the 24th edition of Around The World, I am today's guest, and we have such a great show for you today, don't we?"

Yunho tugged on your hair, making you wince. You looked at the camera and nodded.

The 30 dollar donation ding sounded, announcing that someone had made a request.

'Make her sit on your thigh'

You let Yunho take the lead once more, hooking his finger on your choker's hoop and pulling you up, to sit on his thigh. You hummed as you rolled your hips, causing friction between your core and his thigh. Your hand ran along his torso, feeling the fabric of his shirt.

"He has too many clothes, don't you think?" You asked the camera, in a flirty tone.

There was a rain of comments agreeing with you, and you immediately got to work, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. His dick print was already very visible in his pants, and you could now understand why he wanted to wear that look.

You removed his shirt, slowly and teasingly, as the viewers praised Yunho's toned body.

The male hooked his finger on your underwear and snapped it against your skin. Your little whimper at the sudden pain made him smirk.

Yunho ran his hands along your body, making you shiver from the cold metal of his rings.

Tips and donations rained down with many requests, and so you went back on the floor and laid your head on Yunho's thigh, your face mere inches away from his hard-on. You perked your ass up and traced the shape of his cock with your finger.

"What do you think? Should we reward them?" Yunho asked, petting your head as he stared into the camera.

As expected, everyone gave you the green light to continue, so you slowly opened his fly, to find he had no underwear on. You freed him from his pants, gripping his length in your hand. You kept eye contact with the male, and although you were a professional, you were always nervous when you had to take dicks on the bigger side.

You spat on his tip, and played with his cock for a second, before slowly inserting it in your mouth. Yunho groaned and threw his head back, taking in the warmth of your mouth. His hand was tangled in your hear, gripping it and tugging on it from time to time.

"Shit, you're doing so good..."

Yunho was very vocal, to your (and the viewer's) pleasure.

The 50$ notification ding sounded, and a message played right after.

'bby I wanna see you jump on his cock'

Yunho smirked and gripped your hair, in a firm, yet not painful way. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, cleaning the remaining saliva.

"Hmm, you know what, so do I."

You stripped from your underwear, in a sensual way for the viewers (and Yunho) to enjoy.

Yunho slapped his thigh, and you climbed onto his lap, slowly but surely sinking down on his length. You gripped onto his shoulders for stability and groaned as every inch of his cock disappeared inside of you.

His hands gripped your ass, spreading your cheeks in a beautiful way for the camera to see. The male helped you, as you rode him, not only by holding your hips and guiding you, but also by snapping his hips up against yours. Filthy slapping sounds along with the mixture of your moans echoed in the room, and the donations were reaching their peak.

"F-fuck baby you're s-so good, you're doing so well."

You gripped his shoulders harder, as his praises drew you closer and closer to your edge.

"They're c-close! Should we l-let them cum?"

It was impressive how professional Yunho was. How he looked so immersed in you, so tired and fucked out, with his fringe sticking to his forehead and eyes burning into your soul, yet he didn't forget to interact with the viewers.

There were many people leaning towards yes, begging to hear the way you sounded as you came, and so he worked hard until you screamed his name and tightened around his cock. He let you rest and recompose for a second, but the way you clenched around him made it impossible for him to hold it in any longer.

"Shit, get on the ground."

You gladly complied, and got on your knees for him, immediately sticking out your tongue, as you could predict what would come after.

Yunho jerked himself off to your fucked out face, and soon a string of curses came out of his mouth, as he spilled all over your face. He smirked and wiped some of his cum off of your face with his thumb.

"Say ah, pretty baby."

You smiled and opened your mouth. He inserted his finger in your mouth and you happily licked it clean.

Yunho cupped your face with his hand, and smiled.

"You behaved so well, I might have to reward you again."

His head tilted to the side, pointing to the couch, and you followed. You sat down on the couch, and Yunho knelt in front of you. His arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you forward, so your hole would be of easy access to him.

The man teased you, as his tongue danced around your hole, not quite getting where you wanted him. You rolled your hips up, earning a slap to your inner thigh.

He looked up at you, with a hint of darkness in his eyes.

"Behave."

It didn't take long for you to get what you wanted, as he started tongue fucking you, with the help of his fingers. You gripped his hair, and your back arched as your high approached once more.

You came quickly, with his tongue still inside you, and he held your trembling legs and body, to keep you stable.

He didn't move for a second, giving you time to breathe and rest. After you had recomposed yourself, he helped you up, and the two of you shared a heated kiss, Yunho's hands never leaving your ass, that he definitely had a fixation with.

You finished the stream by thanking the viewers and donors and shut everything off. Once everything was done, you sighed and plopped onto the couch.

"Do you not want to shower?" Yunho questioned, as he saw the mess in your face and body.

You chuckled.

"Yes I do, very much, but I'm so fucked out..."

Yunho very kindly scooped you up.

"Well, I wouldn't want my guest to work too hard, I'll help you out."

#ateez #ateez smut #jeong yunho #yunho smut #jeong yunho smut #kpop #kpop smut #kinktober #ateez kinktober #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez gender neutral #ateez readder insert #ateez reactions #ateez reaction #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez yunho smut #yunho ateez smut

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ink-on-the-brink · 2 years

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Engie x Reader ~ Built Up Stress (Part 2)

Pt: 1

Summary: The stress of a normal day at Tuefort is already hard enough as it is. Lay a streak of lost battles, thrown blame, and a week ceasefire with no Medic on top and it's all down hill from there.

A/n: I was gonna post the next part for the Yandere dad series but the universe decided to hate me today and make all the fully edited parts disappear. I have no idea wtf happened, but they're gone. So I decided I might as well post the second part to this while I go back and re-edit them...fml

Ps: @doctorparma thought you might want to be notified when this next part came out, so here ^-^

(I was also gonna at optimisticbagelpaintermaker too but Tumblr would not let me ;-;)

You had had changed since that day. You got snappier, angrier. There was no safe place for you here anymore, no place where you could calm. It was all violence and blood and hatred everywhere you looked. The men never calmed, in fact they'd snapped as quickly as a twig in a Hurricane.

You knew they weren't always this bad, you knew these were just off days. That they'd calm and it'd be over soon. That you wouldn't have to worry about upsetting them as much when Medic came back.

At least that's what you repeated to yourself when you felt the urge to hit them upside the head for never leaving you the fuck alone.

You were growing to hate them all. You were growing to hate it here. You hated your job, you hated being stuck you hated their yelling and their fighting and the blood and you HATED THE FACT THAT YOU STILL HAD TO SEE HIM EVERY DAY-!...

You couldn't stand his face. The way he'd turn with the eyes of a kicked puppy as if you were the one that hurt him! You hated how entitled and arrogant and downright two-faced everyone was here! You-...

You'd thought that for once in a long time that...that you'd found someone. That-...

That your life was worth being a trainwreak if it meant having met him...

What were you supposed to do now?

Engie changed too. He rarely ever left his bedroom, a room he almost never visited before this incident. But the times that he was out he could be commonly caught staring at nothing.

He had been replaying the scenes of that day in his head over and over with each viewing sending him furthur into dispair. The worst part was that he had absolutely no clue why this hurt so bad. He had fought with the others plenty of times, hell he almost killed a few of them!...but just remembering the fear in your eyes when he yelled at you made him sick to his stomach. The thought of you caused many headaches and it-...

It hurt

It hurt to know that he was the one that caused this. It hurt to know that this was his fault.

He'd grown so used to solving problems like this for others. He'd practically memorized the routine that he had to walk the other men through when they fucked up and hurt someone. I mean how many times has he told others to just apologize and accept the consequences? How many times had he looked a broken man in the face and told them how some people need time, some people need space.

That sometimes sorry just isn't good enough...

But look at him now? Moping about, not taking your no for an answer. He couldn't take no for an answer. What kind of a man was he? Skipping out on his own advice when he knew that it was the best choice to listen to it. But just- he couldn't stand seeing you like this! Because of him! You were so cold now, so distant, so angry. He couldn't blame you, as much as his intrusive thoughts hated you for not accepting his apology-

No they- they didn't hate you, they couldn't have. No they hated him. He pushed it on you because he just couldn't bear seeing your eyes look at him with that façade of ignorance. How you'd stare at him like stranger! He hated it, he hated himself for it.

There was no one else to blame...

No matter how many times he apologized or in how many differnt ways he did you just ignored him. He never got past the first word before you'd walk away.

It was then that he truly knew how much he'd hurt you. What he'd done might have been an easy sorry for some other person, but with you it struck the worst cord.

All he could remember was the fear. How the familiarity in your eyes washed away, how you stared at him as if he were your worst nightmare!

He hurt you in the worst way. He'd hurt you in a place he didn't even relize was brusied.

And that bruise became an open wound, the contents of your hidden pain poured into the resentment you held on him, on all of them. You didn't want to forgive any of them. They all thought you were a coward, that you would just bend and twist for them like you normally would have. This time it wasn't going to happen. After all, they had done nothing but treat you like a doormat for the past couple of months and they only noticed now that you were refusing their apologies. Why would you accept their empty sorrys? If you did they would just go back to walking all over you like they normally did.

Like everyone you've ever met, like every place you've ever gone. You were never meant to be anything but a service others abused. Why would anyone treat you like a person when you let them do whatever they wanted with simple sorrys in return?

You were done. Done with the hollow aplogizes, done with doing everything just to keep others comfortable, no matter how much pain it put you through.

Most of all though? You were done letting people work their way into your heart. All they ever did was make it bleed.

When Medic finally came back he was confused for the first couple of days. The men were eerily quiet, Engie especially, and no one seemed to want to talk about it.

However Medic noticed the most change in you. The flicker of curiosity in your eyes when you watched some of his experiments had intensified and he definatly noticed how rough you had become with the others when they were hurt. You were cold now, ignoring their sounds of pain completely. You overworked yourself, fainting on numerous occasions and not eating nearly as much as you should. You always insisted that you were fine and that you wouldn't want to be a 'poor excuse for a nurse'.

Medic was never usually one to grow concerned for other people but he did for you. You were his assistant after all! You had helped him through a lot of tough times, mostly without your knowing and, dare he say it, he saw you as a trustworthy friend! He didn't want to see you suffering like this! So he decided he would go to the person he knew was closest to you: Engie. He knew that if anyone was going to help it would be him. So once you had busied yourself with cleaning the lab he took a silent leave towards the workshop. However he was surprised to not find his hard-hatted friend there. Hesitantly, and with growing worry, he made his way to Engies room, soon standing outside his bedroom door. Medic gave it three good knocks.

"Herr Engineer? I vish to speak viz jou" He heard what sounded almost like a snarl before a response.

"Whatya want doc?" Engies voice sounded tired and agitated, a tone the 'doctor' wasn't adverse to hearing from him, seeing as Medic often had to wake the man up from his sleep deprived comas. Though something about it felt stranger this time, maybe it was the fact that he didn't sound like he'd just woke up?

"I have seen a change in Y/n recently und I vas hoping jou could help me find out vhat's going on. Zey von't talk about it and neizer vill ze ozers. I'm concerned for zeir healz at zis point..." Medic explained the situation as best he could and was surprised to hear silence for a long while.

"...Eng-" the door opened and what Medic saw made him go a bit wide-eyed. Engie smelled of alcohol, his eyes looking like he'd been perpetually tipsy for days now. His shirt was stained and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days either. Come to think of it Engie had been keeping his head down for a while. Medic hadn't heard from the man nearly at all but he'd assumed it was because he'd taken up a new project! Not developed into...whatever this was. If Medic was being truly honest he looked terrible but he wasn't about to say that out lo-

"Mein gott jou look awful! vhat-" Medic stopped himself as he finally pieced the puzzle together.

He leaves for a week and the two people he thought would keep their heads the most end up being the two with the worst problem.

However he knew that you, or at least the normal you, wouldn't have been the one to start anything, especially with Engie. He felt his eyes narrow slightly at the thought of Engie betraying your trust

"Vhat did jou do?..." Medic spoke with an accusatory and pointed tone. Engie looked up to the 'doctor' but Medic was able to quickly notice that he was not himself.

He was a broken man.

"Somethin ah'm gonna regret for a long tahme..." Engies voice was almost inaudible, coming out as more of murmer than an attempt at talking. Medics expression softened and intensified at the same time. He was torn between trying to calmly address the situation because of Engies sincere regret and chopping him to pieces for admitting that he was the one who caused this. In the end he chose to restrain himself but made it clear he wasn't about to try and comfort him.

"Zen I vish to speak viz jou in a more private area..." Engie nodded and stepped aside so the doctor could enter the room. Medic took a few steps in and Engie closed the door behind him. Medic looked around and saw many empty beer bottles strewn across the room, empty plates stacked on eachother, many crumbled pieces of paper tossed into and next to a small trash bin and a bed that looked like it hadn't been made in days. As Medic took in the information around him he began to wonder if it was actually something you had done considering this was extremely depressing to look at, let alone live in. He turned back to Engie and was met with the glazed over eyes of his once most collected co-worker.

"I need to know vhat's going on" Medic requested an explanation from him and Engie, for the first time in nearly three weeks, addressed the situation. Though it was in a very roundabout way because he couldn't bare to admit what he'd done outright.

"Y'know how ah've been blamed for our lost battles for a whahle now?" Medic nodded.

"And y'know how ah don't usually get mad a lot? How ah just usually bottle it up and let it out in prahvate?" Medic nodded again as he recalled a time when he'd walked in on the machine maker stringing curses, kicking around loose peices of metal and using a hammer to destroy a newly built dispenser. It was a rather vivid memory, considering that once Engie had noticed someone had seen him he made him swear to not tell anyone else about it. Medic began to wonder where this was going.

"...y'know how Y/n likes ta come around my workshop sometimes?" Medic was beginning to see the picture.

"Ja, ja. Continue" Medic spoke with a rather cold tone, now even less convinced that whatever Engie had done was forgivable. Engie paused for a moment, as if replaying the day once again in his head. It was only after a repeat of Medics words that he was able to finally say it.

"Ah kinda snapped at 'em. They...um...ah called 'em a no good nurse and uh...well a coward. And it weren't no calm tellin off either. Ah was yellin rahght in their face, louder than Ah'd been in a long while. Ah was drunk and angry and- ah didn't even realize ah yelled at 'em 'til ah was done..." Medic went a bit wide-eyed, his thoughts immideatly going to the repeated times since he's been back that you'd called yourself a no good nurse.

Well, guess he knew why you'd started saying that...

As Medic though on Engies words he began to peice things together, his eye slightky twitching as he came to understand the severity of the situation

Medic was very aware of your extreme discomfort when being yelled at. It only took him one time getting that angry with you to relize how terrified it had made you. He hadn't even really been mad at you so much as he was upset with a mistake you happened to make. But the fear he'd seen stopped him in his tracks. It had been a look very few people ever relize the true meaning up in their lives. Medic, having previously been the person who'd stare with frozen fear, knew the look all too well. He could only begin to imagine how being yelled at by Engie of all people must have felt to you. You and Medic had only just started being co-workers when he'd yelled at you and even now you still got jumpy when he raised his voice. But for you to build trust with someone then for them to not only yell in your face, but insult and belittle you while doing it? Medic was furious.

"Jou did vhat" Medic spoke through gritted teeth. Quickly picking up on Medics anger Engie hid his face in his hands, too ashamed to even look the man in the eye.

"Ah didn't...Ah didn't mean to. Ah didn't even mean ta get mad with 'em! And Ah sure as hell didn't know it'd hurt 'em this bad! They're scared'a me doc! Scared! Of me! Ah ain't ever done nothin' lahke that before! Only people scared'a me are usually starin down a sentry or mah shotgun! Not lookin at me teary eyed and callin me sir!" Engie exploded, his eyes turning up to Medics mid speech with a look of confused fury on his face, though both of them knew that anger was only with himself. Medic continued to coldly eye him a moment before the tense hatred he felt melted away from him, leaving an almost understanding look on his face.

"Did jou apologize?" Medic was really hoping he had the guts to at least try.

"Ah tried! They told me ta go! Then Ah tried ten more tahmes and they just up and walked away when Ah started talkin! Ah haven't really talked to 'em since, ah'm pretty sure if ah did they would try and kill me- look Medic, ah made a really bad mistake, ah want ta make it better but ah just can't! They look at me lahke ah'm a stranger!...ah don't know how ta go about fixin this..." Engie finished with a tired, exasperated and desperate tone as he turned and sat on his bed, the feeling of the mattress not at all comforting anymore.

Medic knew how much the man had hurt you. He knew you had trusted Engie and that in a stupid, drunken, anger filled mistake the man had abused that trust. But dispite this he knew this needed to be fixed soon, for the betterment of the team and for the both of you. If you stayed down this path Medic knew you'd probably work yourself to death. And really, unless it's by creating a monstrosity unknown to man, a work related death would be a rather boring way to go.

You were in your bedroom which wasn't uncharacteristic for you anymore. However this time you weren't here of your own volition. You had made a promise to Medic that you'd at least try to listen to Engie. Or more so he forced you into your room and promised that if you let Engie talk to you then he'd get you off work for a week which, in a place like this and what you've been going through, you could really use. So you agreed. All you had to do was let him talk and once he was finished you could just tell him to leave. Easy enough.

Right?

I mean our walls had only been growing higher with each passing day. You didn't talk to anyone anymore, you didn't trust anyone anymore. You had always had trust issues, that's why you always kept yourself so tucked away. You didn't like growing too close to people and damn did the world just like to give you reasons why. But that would make it easier to ignore him at least.

You knew when you let someone close you give them too much power. Anything they say becomes truth, anything they do gets taken to heart, they become a backseat driver in your life, giving you thoughts about yourself and what you do.

And that only leads to heartbreak once they finally let out the truth...

So you pushed him away- you pushed everyone away! You refused to go through the pain of heartbreak again.

You had even thought he might have loved you back! That you weren't just caught in his charm but that your heart had grow a space for him because he wanted to be there!

Not anymore...

He...He looked at you strangely now. He always looked so tired, almost broken-

You shouldn't think about that...

But that still didn't stop that pang in your chests every time your eyes met, even though he had his goggles on. You had loved him at one point, you still wanted to love him! but his message just couldn't be more clear.

You should just leave him the hell alone...

Unknown to you, at this moment in time two men stood only a few feet from your door.

"Engineer I'm not going to ask again! Jou go in zere und jou fix zis!"

"What the hell am ah supposed ta do doc!? Ah've already tried ta apologize! They told me ta go! What else am ah supposed ta do!?"

"Look, I got zem to agree to talk to jou, do jou realize how much zat took? Zis is jour chance! So if jou don't knock on ze door zen I vill not hesitate to shove jou in zere!" Both Engie and Medic had a glare down for a moment before Engie inevitably gave in. He turned to your door and sucked up the last bits of his courage to get through this. Medic had dragged him out of his room so he didn't have time to grab his goggles or hardhat. He really wished he had those to cover his face now. He felt like he was going to have a breakdown!

With great hesitance he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The moment he did Medic left, giving him a nod as if to say 'good luck'

"What" your voice replied coldly from the other side of the door. He didn't speak for a moment as he tried to collect himself. He took another deep breath before responding.

"It's uh...it's me...Ah just wanna talk to ya a moment" He tried his best to choose his words as carefully as he could. You felt a slight pang in your chest once again, his voice alone made you want to just melt- no! You- you wouldn't fall for it again! This man, he was nothing but a- a- a liar! He made you think he cared! You just had to remember that.

You had to remember that he didn't care about you.

You hesitantly approached the door with caution in each step. You felt your throat tighten as you turned the door handle.

The moment you opened the door you regretted it...

He stared at you with those recently clouded emerald eyes that weren't hidden under his goggles anymore. You looked away the moment you saw them, pained by the memories they brought. Private memories of just the two of you being in the workshop, when he'd get comfortable enough to take them off. You were pretty sure no one else had ever seen him with them off, hell most of the times he slept with them on! But here he stood, having brought himself to your door with not only missing goggles, but no hardhat.

He would always hold the hardhat when hhe got nervous to hide his twitchy hands. He found it rather embarrassing the first time you'd pointed that out to him, but that never stopped him from doing it. Your eyes glanced to his hands before you even thought about it. You weren't surprised to see them messing with eachother, as if to mimic the feeling of the hat he would usually hold in situations as tense as this.

There wasn't a single movement for a moment and the silence was suffocating. But, after a few seconds of this painful silence, you stepped aside, the action making Engie to go a little wide-eyed.

He didn't think you were even going to open the door, let alone invite him in. But, not wanting to waste the opportunity, he stepped in, unsure whether or not this was a good idea.

Each step echoed around the eerily silent room as if the build up to what was to come. Once he was inside you slowly shut the door behind you, the click signifying no escape for either of you anymore. You both suddenly grew very aware of one thing.

This was either where everything gets fixed...

Or it's the breaking point...

Each word spoken must be chosen with extreme caution, each movement made with overthought care. The simplest wrong move could ruin everything.

You stood at the door, your body faced toward him but your head turned away. You weren't able to even do him the simple courtesy of looking in his general direction.

He stood in the middle of the room and could look nowhere but directly at you.

"Y/n..." He broke the thick fog of silence with your name. It earned only some of your attention

"Ah'm...Ah'm so sorry...Ah didn't mean for it to be-...lahke this..." You silently winced at his words but your cold look held strong. With folded arms you responded.

"Be like what sir...we're doing our jobs just fine..." You replied with a monotonous tone. His fists clenched slightly at the world sir, it buried into him.

"You know what ah'm talkin about..." He spoke through slightly gritted teeth, hating the new title you had given him. But any anger soon passed. He didn't want to let his anger pull at him anymore

"Look ah'm sorry, really ah am! Ah don't believe a single word ah said that day! Ah wanna take it all back, ah wanna make it better, ah wanna be near ya again!...ah don't wanna be sir no more..." The words traveled like knives to your heart, the pain in his voice breaking through to you. You could sense the look on his face without even glancing at him. You hated how he had so much control, you hated how much you still cared for him!

There was silence for awhile before, having lost all thoughts of keeping your cool and ignoring his words, you finally collected yourself enough to speak

"...do you know how much you hurt me?" At the sound of your voice he grew shocked. He hadn't heard that tone before. It was...vulnerable...you were opening back up to him! This could be fixed!

but then the words sunk in and his hope died like the forgotton embers of dead fire.

He couldn't think of anything to tell you that he hadn't already said. He only had two words he could even think to say to you.

"Ah'm sorry..." You winced once again at his words as a sickening feeling took you over. You didn't want to continue this conversation and neither did he. But it had to be done whether it was for the better or for the very worst.

You then felt a spike of anger. Those words those stupid, useless, ugly words. They had had held you in place as the world had beaten you down, they had been the nails that stuck you into walls, they had been the sedative that numbed you to the pain of others. You hated those words and how they consumed you.

You hated how you wanted to believe that they still meant anything.

"You think that an apology is going to make it all better don't you?" You spoke softly, though the sting of your growing frustration was easily audible.

He said nothing

"Do you realize how much you reminded me of every person I came here to run away from? Or just how many times I've heard people tell me that I- I'm useless! That I'm not able to help! That I'm a burden! That all I ever do is get in the way!" Your voice grew louder, the genuine and painful tone mixing with your only increasing anger.

He said nothing

"You don't you...you still think I'm a coward" Engie felt his jaw tighten at your words, his own anger bubbling to the surface a moment. He hated each word that left your mouth. He hated that you thought that.

He hated that he was the reason you thought that...

After receiving only more silence you continued, this time staring at your feet instead of the wall beside you, your pain slowlu disapating with his silence, leaving only resentment behind

"...nothing huh? Not another empty apology? No begging for my forgiveness? No pretending like you hadn't always thought of me like some 'no good nurse'? Where's the 'I never meant it' or the 'I swear I'll never do it again'? I've heard every last excuse in the fucking book! So go on! Lie to me Dell! Fucking lie! Make me feel better so you can hurt me more!" You yelled, the power behind your voice stronger than he's ever heard from you. And your words- god your words! They stabbed through his him like jagged knives! They burned and stung and felt as if they'd leave permanent scars on his body. They hurt like nothing else he's ever felt!

He couldn't have ever thought there was a hidden burden behind your eyes. That you carried around a painful past that clung to you like a vivid nightmare. He couldn't have thought that he'd be the one to hurt you the same way. That he would ever hurt you at all! And it hurt. It hurt to look at you, it hurt to know why what he'd done wasn't new to you. It hurt to know that you had been through this before, that you were dragged through excuses and apologies he used on you. It hurt and he didn't know why. He couldn't understand why all of this hurt so much!

It only became more painful when he noticed you begin to shake. He watched your breath hitched in quiet ways as you tried to hide your similarly broken state from his eyes. The adrenaline from your yelling had passed and you were left with the agony you were trying so desperately to push away

"What? Don't wanna talk anymore sir-"

"Don't-..." He took a step forward but immideatly stopped himself in his tracks, a small space left between the two of you. His voice started with a forceful and angered tone but was instantly silenced when he noticed. The was another moment of silence as he calmed himself before speaking again.

"Please don't call me that...Ah can't take you actin like ya don't know me anymore" He fell into a remorseful tone, his voice a whisper as it shook, the sound of held back tears found in it.

The frustration of every event that had happened was bubbling to the surface. You shut your eyes tight causing the tears that you had once hidden so well to fall. There was yet another long silence.

You weren't scared, which was strange as it was an emotion you usually felt in tense situations such as this one. You instead felt a rush of the emotions you had been trying so desperately to forget. The care, the love, the trust-...

Safe...you had felt so safe with him. You felt that he was truly the first person in your life that wouldn't ever hurt you. That he had cared. That the empty space you had lived your whole life with was something he would help you fix...

Even now. Even as you tried to push him away, even as he stepped closer, as he took actions you would normally flinch away from in immideate panic...you didn't move.

Because he still felt safe.

Tears flooded down your face as you kept your eyes tightly shut and your head turned away from him. Engie, still guided by nothing but his emotions, broke the tense air that seemed almost suffocating this close.

"Look at me..." His tone was soft and gentle, a sound that felt almost built to lull your senses into peace. Yet you didn't look at him, your head not daring to turn towards him.

You couldn't look...

"Y/n please just...just look at me..." He asked again but you continued to avoid him. You knew you would break at the sight of him. You couldn't break you- you couldn't. He'd only hurt you more the moment you did.

When you still didn't turn to look at him he felt his heart shatter further. He couldn't stand your averted eyes, that left him with only on the view of your falling tears, he couldn't bear to see you like this anymore.

He took slow steps forward until he stood infront of you. When you didn't make any attempt to move away from him he slowly brought his hands to either side of your face with the most hesitance he's ever had doing anything. It felt as if each small movement was a risk. A risk he had to take.

The moment you felt his hands touch your skin your eyes opened. You stared where the hands had fallen in your cheeks, the action being one you had so genuinely wanted not even a month ago. When he began to ever so slowly turn you to look at him you knew you couldn't fight it, not anymore.

Still your eyes didn't meet his. They traveled anywhere that wasn't his face as you cursed him for having so much control over you. His voice weakend your walls and his touch broke them down. You hated how weak he made you.

"Look me in the eyes. Please Y/n ah'm beggin ya just-...look at me. look at me like ah ain't a stranger no more. Ah wanna fix this...please..." His voice begged as his caring words sent even more tears down your face.

You wanted him to shut up. You wanted him to stop using that voice of his against your already precarious walls. You wanted to close yourself off, to push everything away, to push him away...

Yet you knew there was no way to hide from him.

"Stop..." You finally spoke, freezing his movements instantly. You took a moment to find your words before finally deciding to speak again

"Just stop I-...I don't want to hear you anymore. You can't just- do this to me. You can't-..." He grew confused by your choice of words, unaware that his own had come from a place he only subconsciously knew about.

"Can't do what?" He was cautious with his tone, not wanting to burn anymore of the bridge he'd already singed to near dust. A look of frustration passed your face for a moment. How could he be so blind as to what he was doing?! The gentle hand, the heartfelt words- how didn't he know that this care was what hurt you the most?

"You can't keep making me think you love me too..." You finally admitted, the words traveling through the air before echoing in Engies ears. He didn't register them at first but they soon became the only words he could think of. His eyes slightly widened and he felt at a loss of breath. In a cataclysmic chain reaction Engies mind completely rearranged once he truly understood your spoken words. They helped him come to the answers he'd been searching for. Why did you never cease to leave his mind? Why was you not being around so painful? Why did seeing you like this hurt him this much when getting into fights with others was so common place and nearly negligible?

It was because he loved you.

He became too stunned by the realization to speak, the epiphany bringing with it a whole new flood of emotions and a stronger desire to want you closer.

After the long silence you couldn't bear it anymore. You looked right onto his eyes as you tried to stop your tears, though you only managed to stop them from falling.

Though he succeeded in not getting the cold stare of a stranger. You instead looked directly into his soul.

"Why do you think it hurt me so bad? I-...I loved you...and I thought that you might have felt the same...I-I was going to tell you once Medic got back since we both would have had the day off but I-...I never got the chance..." The more you spoke of your hidden love for him the more he found his own heart picking up it's pace, the gentleness and genuine care in your words only intensifying the words that still echoed through his head. He gravitated towards you until your foreheads touched, your lips remained inches away from eachother with his hands still holding your face in the most gental way. You went wide-eyed, your tears coming to a stop due to the shock his actions caused.

"Ah...Ah never wanted ta hurt ya...it hurts too much seein ya lahke this" He softly whispered, his tone alone being enough to cause a sudden skip of your heart. He was unsure if he should continue, he really had no idea what he was doing. All he knew was that he had to make this better...

That he wanted to love you...

There was no way you could push him away anymore, not when you had dreamed about being this close. You felt a slight spark of fear with the realization, your mind still echoing with the thought that you couldn't ever trust anyone. You pushed that fear away, knowing that even if you wanted to, there was no way you'd be able to suppress the deep care you held for him. So with extreame hesitance you ended up closing the gap, landing your lips on his.

The kiss was gentle as you both were still scared of making any sudden movements. One of the hands he help on your face slowly trailed down until he had a grip on your waist. He pulled you closer, still afraid that you might push him away again.

Your hands made their way to his chest as you leaned further into his embrace, hoping that this was finally something real, that you had found someone who genuinely loved you. You were afraid that at any second he might hurt you again. That he might pull away and laugh at how easy you broke near him.

When you both pulled away you continued to hover near eachothers lips. In the sudden silence of the room the only sounds heard were the soft breaths brushing against eachothers skin. It took a moment to come back to reality and when you did you both were locked in place, staring into the endless worlds eachothers eyes had to offer. This was a moment neither of you wanted to break. You both wanted to live in this single moment for the rest of your lives. A strange thought, considering moments before you both could barely speak to one another.

"...Ah...Ah love you..." He finally spoke the three words that lifted weight from your heart. Finally, for the first time in a while, you smiled. He couldn't help but smile back, finding himself overjoyed now knowing that that you felt better.

"...I love you too" you whispered back. A sense of relief washed over him as he how knew that you weren't pulling away from him anytime soon.

1 Month Later

"Hey! Sugarcube!" Engie called down the hall. You turned your head and smiled once you noticed him. God how he loved your smile. You quickly ended your conversation with Medic and walked up to him.

"Whatcha need cowboy?" He melted at the nickname, his once proud smile visualizing that as it became rather goofy looking.

"C'mere. Ah wanna show ya somthin'" you gave him a nod and he led you to his workshop.

You two had been dating ever since that night. It was very hard the first few days as everything slowly went back to normal with the addition of your new relationship. You both had already talked out what happened and everything was getting better. He still felt extremely guilty though. As much as you tried to reassure him, he was still in a pit of regret. But it was getting better.

You thought so anyway.

The two of you walked into the workshop that you both knew like the backs of your hands. You followed him deep into the piles of machinery and it was only a moment later that he stopped. He gently picked up a box before turning towards you. In his hand he held a box about the size of a shoe box. It was simple looking but at the same time held beautiful engravings. Before you could analyze it further he began speaking.

"Ah...Ah know ah still owe ya a lot and ah ain't very good with showin how much Ah care, but ah figured maybe Ah could make it better with just one small thing at a tahme...so Ah made ya this..." He outstretched the box to you, a bit of nervousness now present. You continued to look at him as you carefully took the box from him.

"Dell, you don't owe me anything, you should be smart enough to know that. It was a mistake and I've already forgiven you for it" you explained for what had to be the hundredth time already, though you knew that he'd have to hear it more than that to fully convince him. He looked away from you once you were done talking.

"Yeah, yeah ah know....doesn't mean I still don't owe ya though..." You shit him a confused look.

"How else could you owe me?" He chuckled a moment before taking a step closer to you. He wrapped one hand around your waist and pulled you into a side embrace.

"I owe ya more with each passin day you spend lovin me" a small smile pulled at your lips at the pure cheesiness of his words. You turned your head to him with a bit of heat felt on your face.

"Well in that case you're gonna be in debt for a while" you spoke with a playful tone that caused another laugh to escape him.

"Whah don't ya just open it and see if this week's debts are paid then?" you both held playful smiles before you gave him a nod. You turned back to the box and looked it over for a moment. It was a small and made of metal with tiny engravings on it, all of them somehow relating to something about you, from your favourite animal to favorite music. You smiled at the thoughtfulness of it. Your fingers then traced to the lock on the box. As you pulled it down it made a satisfying 'click' to signify it was open. You slowly lifted the lid to be immediately met with a beautiful sound. Once the lid was completely lifted you clearly heard the song.

It was the song he had played on his guitar whenever you and him relaxed in here together.

That alone shocked you, but that wasn't even the end of it. On the inside were a couple of picture you slolwy looked over as tears began to build in your eyes.

They were pictures of you two from the day you first met and on, a memory held in each photo. You slowly turned back to him as you fought to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"It's...beautiful..." You spoke with complete sincerity. He quickly pulled you into a full embrace with the only thing keeping the distance between you and him being the box in your hands. He slowly leaned his head over until it rested on yours.

The soft melody of the music box continued to play in the background as you both slightly swayed to the wonderful sound. The gentle sway caused you to melt into the moment and close your eyes so you could soak it in better. Dell also fell victim to the entrancing sound. After a long moment of this calm swaying you spoke just above a whisper

"Dell..." Your voice broke through the sound.

"Yeah sweetheart?" He spoke with an entirely calmed voice. He found these moments to be the only peace he ever truely had in his life.

"What did I tell you about making me fall in love?" you held a begrudging smile on your face. He couldn't help but let his own smile grow.

"Well you ain't makin it any easier on me either..." He commented, getting a small laugh from you.

"Besides..." He pulled away a bit and opened his eyes causing you to do the same.

"We're the only ones keepin this place from burnin down! Might as well team up!" A playful smirk was once again found on his face and one quickly grew on yours accompanied by a shared laugh. After your laughing ended you spoke.

"Speaking of which, it's been a whole ten minutes! And they've-... been silent..." The smiles immediately fell from your faces at the realization. It was quiet...

Too quiet...

Then suddenly-

"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa" Scout ran right past the open workshop door and not far behind you and Engie hear-

"HUU HUUDA HUUUUU!" You both turn to each other with fear stricken faces. Then, at exactly the same time, you two came up with only two words to describe the situation

"Oh no"

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #reader x tf2 #tf2 engie #engie #engie x reader #tf2 engie x reader #tf2 oneshot

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