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creative-frequency · 6 years

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Ardyn x Fem!Reader: Sweet Disaster Ch. 1

Word count: 4901 Warnings: Eventual explicit content, Ardyn being a douche Notes: Romance, slight angst, broship banter. Includes game rewrite scenes, spoilers ahoy. This is me procrastinating multi-chap fics..... by writing another one. Thanks for the ideas @lucianhuntress! Thanks for the insight on the mentioned injury @alicemoonwonderland! Tagging: some who might be interested @valkyrieofardyn @poisonous-panda @tyncri @insomniacapples

Sweet Disaster -series Masterlist | Playlist for this story

As the first step of tackling the issue that is Noctis forging the covenant with the Titan, your party of five heads down the hot streets of Lestallum. Your destination is the outlook across the main road. From there you can see the Disc of Cauthess and its crystal formations that grow up into the sky. Your intentions are to devise a plan of approach there, even though, as Ignis has just said, “it doesn’t replace being on site, but it’s a good start”.

As you reach the location, you’re greeted by a tall, suspicious stranger. “What a coincidence,” he says with a wave of his hand.

You scan over his... attire in bafflement. Despite the heat that forced you to abandon your jacket, he is wearing at least three layers of clothing; complete with a long coat and several scarves. His hair is a dark auburn shade of red, locks floating airily around his head. The waves look so soft that you catch yourself thinking about how they would feel between your fingers. The stranger’s posture is relaxed, but not without a sense of nobility, which leaves you wondering about the contradictory signals his hobo-esque appearance sends.

Furthermore, the guys seem to know him.

“I’m not so sure it is,” Gladio rumbles with a disapproving look.

The stranger’s eyes stop at you as the last member of your group and he begins to pace forward. His scarf waves with the motion from the steps.

How on Eos can he wear those clothes in this heat?

He doesn’t look old enough to be your dad, but maybe he could be your uncle or something. Weird, hot uncle.

“Aren’t nursery rhymes curious things?” the stranger asks. You notice that his eyes are a peculiar shade of amber, which you haven’t seen before. He also has a bit of stubble.

You and Prompto look at Ignis in utter confusion in seek of advice on how to act, but the advisor’s narrow-eyed attention is fixated elsewhere.

The strange man continues speaking, pointing his words to Noctis, who looks defiantly back at him.

“Like this one: ‘From the deep, the Archaean calls...’”

His voice is pleasant, oily and the words sound like he is reciting a poem in front of an audience. There is certain easiness to the way he speaks and it makes you tilt your head in to listen.

“’...Yet on deaf ears, the gods’ tongue falls, The King made to kneel, in pain,’”– for some reason, he glances at you–“’he crawls.’”

You could swear his eyes were glinting.

“So how do we keep him on his feet?” Prom spurs forward to ask.

The stranger walks away from you to the ledge of the lookout, turning his back to you. “You only need to heed the call. Visit the Archaean and hear his plea.”

He makes it sound really simple.

Then he turns with a tight-lipped, wide grin on his face.

“I can take you.”

The motion is so ridiculously theatrical combined with the rhyme from the cosmogony he just recited, that you barely hold back your snort. Maybe he notices your amusement, but he pays no mind to it.

The guys and you huddle together to mull over what you just heard. “We in?” Gladio asks, looking at Noctis.

“I don’t know,” the prince says. Prompto shoots a suspicious look at the stranger and you follow his gaze to see a lingering, confident smirk. He can hear your every word as your groups weighs the situation.

“We take a ride...” Prompto says conspiringly.

“...But watch our backs,” Gladio ends.

Prompto nods in agreement.

“Fair enough,” Ignis says.

“Let’s do it,” Noct concludes.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” you add.

The stranger shrugs in amusement at your rhetorical question, and his smile only widens. He looks positively creepy and the expression makes you wonder what he could possibly have in mind. With a grin like that, he can’t be without an ulterior motive. Pure kindness from a perfect stranger sounds too good to be true.

“I’m not one to stand on ceremony, but such an occasion calls for an introduction. Please, call me ‘Ardyn’,” he introduces himself, satisfied with your group’s decision and begins to stride towards the parking lot. “Come with me to the car park. That’s where I left my automobile.”

Automobile? Seriously? You blink several times and bite your lips to hold back your laugh. Fortunately, Ardyn is too busy to notice you pulling faces.

The guys trade looks after Ardyn’s parading steps and you grin at Prompto, who quips a brow in question.

“She’s a dear old thing.”

You’re not sure whether Ardyn is joking in that tone of his, or just downright weird.

“Pales next to your Regalia, but she’s never let me down,” he continues as your group skittles after him. None of the guys can think of anything to reply, though it doesn’t seem that Ardyn is even expecting any commentary.

“So we take two vehicles – a convoy of sorts. Shall we?” he suggests.

You take a look at Ignis to see his reaction, which is only a passing furrowing of his brows. Ardyn leads you through the lookout terrace. His car is conveniently parked in the same row as the Regalia and the fact doesn’t escape Ignis’s notice. He is definitely suspicious of the stranger.

“All set?” Ardyn asks and before Noctis can answer to him, you cut in.

“Give us a moment, please?” you flash an innocent smile at Ardyn.

“Of course.” He doesn’t sound surprised at all, but the emotion is obvious on the faces of your traveling companions. You gesture the guys to the side.

“I should go with him. Try to figure out what he really wants,” you suggest, keeping your voice down so the mysterious new acquaintance can’t hear your group conspiring.

Ignis’s brows furrow and he peers at you in thought while humming. “I suppose that wouldn't–“

“What? Absolutely not!” Gladio huffs and crosses his arms over his broad chest.

Noctis and Prompto trade worried looks, but stay quiet.

“There’s no telling what that creep might try to do,” Gladio continues. He shoots a glare at the rest of the guys. It speaks volumes about his big brother instincts kicking in.

You shrug. “Not like I can’t defend myself, Gladio,” you say and take a glance at the auburn-haired man standing next to his automobile, as he referred to it just a moment ago. The silly word makes you smile. The car is a convertible model, a purple-ish shade of red with a white stripe going lengthwise over the paint. The vehicle has a very classical feeling to it and you’re amused by how it suits perfectly its owner.

Eccentric and kitsch.

Happy with yourself from coming up with a description for Ardyn’s style, your eyes glide from the car to the man again. The guys met the peculiar stranger earlier in Galdin Quay, but to you the acquaintance is new. There is a piqued curiosity in your look as your eyes meet his amber ones again. His lips instantly form an inviting smirk and you turn away after flashing him a one of your own.

Your interest is definitely piqued.

“What do you think Noct?” Ignis inquires. He doesn’t want to put you into danger, but the potential chance of finding out who the awfully helpful and suspicious man is, is too tempting to ignore.

Noctis sighs and looks at you. He shifts on his feet, slight worry etching his brows. “You think you can handle it?” he asks quietly and Gladio lets out a groan of frustration. He can’t believe Noctis is even considering.

You nod sternly and find the giddy feeling of excitement and curiosity spur inside you. This is going to be interesting.

“Haha, I don’t feel too good about this,” Prompto says with a nervous chuckle.

You spare another look at the strange man. He seems to be perfectly calm as he waits for your conversation to end. In fact, he looks like he has all the time in the world to wait, but maybe that’s just because he knows your entourage is in hurry.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be okay,” you assure and pull a smile to support the words. It does nothing to calm Gladio, but it suffices for the others.

“Alright then,” Noctis concludes, “Y/N will go with him. We’ll be right behind you so you’ll be safe.”

Ignis inhales and lets out a sigh. “Do be careful.”

“Yeah,” Prompto agrees.

“I don’t mind feeding him his teeth if he touches you,” Gladio grumbles and the sentiment makes you chuckle.

“Thanks Gladio,” you quip and grin, “but I’m sure I can do that myself should the need arise.”

Gladio scoffs and rolls his eyes, though he looks amused.

You return to Ardyn and he looks to each member of your group expectantly. His eyes linger on you, but his confident expression never wavers.

“All set,” Noctis informs.

“You wouldn’t mind the company of a lady for the ride, would you?” you ask cheerfully, all smiles on the outside. Your heartbeat is picking up its pace as the rush of adrenaline from pulling an act enters your veins. You can feel Gladio’s disapproving look at the back of your neck, but you resolutely ignore it.

Ardyn takes a curious look at you. “You might find the cab fare to be more than you bargained for,” he muses and hums as if he said something funny.

“It’s a long drive and I’m sure we could find something interesting to talk about.” Ardyn quirks his brow at your flirtatious tone. “Besides, it’s really crammed in the backseat of the Regalia.”

While the guys hold back their incredulous reactions, you smile sweetly to Ardyn as he thinks about your suggestion.

“I suppose it would be wrong of me to deny the chance of a comfortable ride from a lady. Very well,” he agrees. There is definitely interest in his eyes as he once more takes a look over you. This time you’re sure it’s more as to check you out than just out of platonic curiosity.

“Sounds good,” you purr and continue ignoring your friend’s expressions.

“With that decided, let us be off,” Ardyn confirms and turns to speak to Noctis, “Follow me and drive safely.”

The guys turn to leave and Ardyn opens the passenger seat door to you into his automobile. You have to bite your cheeks to hide the snicker that tries to escape your mouth.

“Here you go, my dear,” he says in a tone more soft than he had talked with before. You can almost hear Gladio gritting his teeth.

“Thank you,” you say and make sure you make eye contact with Ardyn before stepping into the car and sitting down on the deep purple leather seat. You notice a pom-pom on the antenna over the hood and chuckle.

A gentle and musky whiff hits your nostrils with the wave of air when Ardyn sits down on the driver’s seat.

He smells nice. I need to know what cologne he uses.

You look at him blatantly as he ignites the engine and the steady purr of the motor starts. The guys are already at the Regalia, waiting for Ardyn to lead the way.

“Shall we then?” Ardyn asks, turning to face you.

“Yes, please!” you say with a nod and a smile. Your pulse is faster than what is comfortable and you silently begin to question your own decision to hop into the purple car.

You don’t make it out of Lestallum before Ardyn talks again.

“I introduced myself earlier, but I’d very much like to know your name.” You let his soft, oily voice shamelessly coddle your sense of hearing. Everything that comes out of his mouth sounds so sincere, but in almost a sarcastic way – insincere sincerity? The way he talks makes you think of a cat stretching out sweetly. You smile inwardly at the thought.

“I’m Y/N. Pleasure to meet you, Ardyn,” you say politely, but keep up a friendly, conversing tone.

He repeats your name quietly, as if thinking that you surely have met before.

“What is it?” you ask and turn to glance behind to see the Regalia following at a safe distance. Noctis is driving. Poor Ignis.

“Oh, nothing. You have a beautiful name,” Ardyn replies coolly.

“Flatterer. I bet you say that to all the ladies,” you retort, but smile at the compliment.

He laughs at your wittiness. “I assure you, it has been a while since I had the chance to enjoy such pleasant company.”

A wave of uneasiness flushes through you, but you are not one to stand back from a chance to play. Besides, there is something attractive about how he is the definition of a creepy, slimy guy who acts like a real charmer. You kind of want to poke him to see how he responds in that oily voice of his.

“Mm. Is that so? I suppose we should make the most of it then,” you hum complacently. Ardyn glances to see the smirk decorating your features. Your heartbeat still hasn’t calmed down and you hope you can keep your bodily reactions under control.

You take a moment to inspect his profile while he is focused on the road. His hair is fluttering in the wind, wavy, auburn locks no longer framing the strong features that are actually quite handsome. Ardyn looks like he harbors no worry in the world – his posture is laid-back and his grip on the wheel relaxed.

Despite being strange, he is quite charming. Maybe I should ask for his number.

“Tell me about yourself,” Ardyn asks suddenly, well aware of the fact that you’re still scanning over him.

You take a moment to think about what to tell him. It’s obvious that he knows who you’re traveling with, though he hasn’t said a word to hint into that direction. Anyone who knows something about anything could add one plus one and figure out it’s the supposedly dead runaway prince of Lucis, who has business with the Archaean.

“I… was a field nurse,” you reply nonchalantly. You force your thoughts away from the destruction of your home. There will be a time and place to dwell on that, but it’s not right now.

“Interesting,” Ardyn hums, “So you’re the designated healer of the group?”

“Regrettably, yes.”

He lets out a joyous laugh and glances at you with the smirk lingering on his lips, before returning his attention to the road ahead. You’re already out of the long tunnel that leads to Lestallum.

“The guys can be a handful sometimes,” you explain.

“Yes well, the job of a healer is traditionally an ungrateful one,” Ardyn says mysteriously, “I do hope you get your due recognition.”

Is that concern, I hear?

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I make sure the guys know who keeps them alive,” you assure with a chuckle.

“Good,” Ardyn remarks with a hum.

Chatting with Ardyn is actually easy and you find yourself relaxing against the leather seat while trees and occasional buildings pass by as blurred images. He keeps carefully inquiring about you, but not touching the reason of your traveling with the four guys. This suits you just fine and you stay away from the topic as well.

When you think you have warmed the waters enough, you begin to toss questions about Ardyn himself – just out of curiosity, of course.

The answers you get are infuriatingly vague. As if he knows you’re trying to figure him out. Each of your questions are countered with a one directed at you of similar topic, so you end up sharing a lot more about yourself than actually gain the information you joined the ride for.

After an hour or so, you give up the direct approach and decide to continue your flirtations to warm him up to further inquiries.

So you talk about the weather, politics, history of Eos and brush the sensitive topic of the war – before Ardyn apologizes saying he didn’t mean to upset you. You’re still amused by his way of speaking. There’s something old fashioned in the way the words glide from his lips. You smile to yourself, thinking that Prompto would say he talks like a grandpa.

The only thing Ardyn really cares to talk concerning himself, is his travels. You have no idea how someone of his age has seen so much of the world, but he has. When you ask about it, he just offers his work as the obvious answer, but declines your further inquiries. You make a mental note to pry the information of his occupation out of him later.

The dark of the upcoming night begins to creep onto the sky as the sun begins its set. There are still hours left in the day, but Ardyn insist you stop at the next Coernix Station to rest for the night. You’re sure the guys won’t like the plan.

“What say we call it a day here?” Ardyn suggests when the Regalia pulls to a stop next to his automobile. You get out of the car, stretching your limbs.

“’What say’ we continue on to Cauthess?” Gladio snaps back as he leaves the car, slamming the door shut after him so hard that he earns a warning look from Noctis. It’s his father’s car after all.

“The Archaean’s not going anywhere,” Ardyn reminds him in that theatrical tone of his. You notice the clear difference to when he was talking alone with you. The revelation is something you need to come back to later on.

“Neither are we, under your stewardship,” Ignis sasses.

Nice one, Iggy. You toss a beam at him, chuckling lightly. Ardyn sees it out of the corner of his eye and a look of disappointment flashes through him before the usual confident smirk is back on his lips.

“So we make camp… with Ardyn?” Prompto summarizes. He doesn’t sound too happy and to be honest, you didn’t expect the journey to turn into an overnight party either. With or without Ardyn.

“Hell no,” Noctis agrees and crosses his arms defiantly.

You’re not sure what there is to be done any more if your guide refuses to continue and Gladio seems to reach the same conclusion as you.

“Might as well get the tent up,” he says with a deep sigh.

Ardyn tilts his head. “Oh, I’m afraid I’ve never really been one for the outdoors. I shall foot the bill, so let us stay at the caravan over yonder.”

The guys trade looks. You shrug when Noctis looks at you inquisitively. Maybe he is waiting for you to warn him that Ardyn is planning on murdering all of you when the night falls.

“Suits me,” you say and reach the Regalia to grab your bag. Ardyn is pleased by your show of faith and the others start gathering their overnight supplies as well. Ignis begins to ponder out loud what he should prepare for supper, while Gladio marches past you to the caravan and you can hear him mutter under his breath.

While Prompto is helping Ignis with the food supplies and Ardyn has gone inside the station to pay for the overnight rent, Noctis motions you to him.

“What did you find out?” he asks in a low tone, eyes peeking to each side to make sure Ardyn isn’t within hearing range.

You heave a displeased sigh. “He’s cleverer than he seems. We gotta be careful,” you say, “He really won’t tell me anything important.”

Noctis cocks an eyebrow at you. “So what did you talk about for the whole ride? The weather?”

Your cheeks feel warm. “This and that after I realized I can’t get anything out of him.” Your eyes escape the prince’s examining stare.

After the amazing supper that Ignis cooked is eaten, your entourage sits outside of the caravan, talking and joking around as per usual. Ardyn paces for a while, claiming it’s better to move around a bit because of the long ride in the car. He is telling even less about himself to the guys than he told you, when Ignis shoots him with sharp questions. Somehow Ardyn manages to weasel his way out of each one or twist the replies into so ambiguous mess of words that no one can really make any sense of them.

Ignis follows your footsteps in quickly giving up the cross-examination and moving on to more pleasant topics.

Oh and Ardyn can be charming when he so chooses. You and the guys are laughing at your shared stories and jokes, and even Gladio, who seems to still hold a grudge against Ardyn for appropriating you for the car ride, is booming with laughter despite the man’s presence.

At some point of the evening, Prompto takes out his camera to snap a few more shots. He calls you to pose dramatically, like he usually does, and you have good laugh about the next addition to the on-going series of “camp-side supermodels”. Prompto shows the photos he has taken during the day and Ardyn seems quite pleased and surprised when his image pops on the display.

“Well, well, if it isn’t yours truly,” he says in that ridiculous, theatrical tone of his that is very far from the voice he used when speaking alone with you.

“Um, if you’d rather not be in photos…” Prompto starts. He seems a bit awkward about the fact that he hasn’t told Ardyn he is being photographed.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all! Snap away – for His Highness’s collection.” The smug grin on Ardyn’s face is almost amusing.

Noctis turns his head. “Err, what?”

You lean back in the chair, exchanging meaningful looks with Ignis. So far Ardyn has not clearly mentioned that he indeed does know who Noctis is. Maybe he just didn’t want to make noise out of it in public, because you refuse to believe he doesn’t have everything about your journey figured out already. You make another mental note to ask about the matter later.

It’s getting late and Ignis is the first one to turn in, soon followed by Prompto and Noctis, even though you know they’re gonna stay up longer than the others and play King’s Knight on their phones.

Gladio yawns and stretches his arms in the air.

“Would you care to join me for a small stroll around the premises?” Ardyn asks from you and offers his hand.

“At this hour?” you question with a curious glance at the outstretched palm.

“I believe a little exercise lets one sleep better,” Ardyn explains with an innocent chuckle.

All the while you talk, Gladio’s look skips between a worried one towards you and a downright murderous towards Ardyn, who seems to be blissfully oblivious of it.

You place your hand on Ardyn’s palm. Excitement bursts your heart into pounding like a drum. His hand feels cool and the leather of his fingerless gloves is soft, but worn. You catch another whiff of his alluring scent.

“Don’t go far,” Gladio says in a warning tone more to Ardyn than you.

“Don’t worry,” you shoot him an assuring smile and resist the urge to wink. It’s best to not rile up the Shield any more than he already is. Besides, if he didn’t trust your ability to take care of yourself, he wouldn’t have let you go with Ardyn in the first place.

“We will stay within your sight at all times,” Ardyn assures to Gladio as you stand up from the plastic garden chair. You’re sure Gladio rolls his eyes at Ardyn’s words, but he lets out an almost approving grunt.

You begin to pace forward at a leisure pace. Ardyn let go of your hand as soon as you were on your feet and the brief touch left your skin tingling.

“The stars are so bright here,” you say quietly to make a conversation.

“Oh?” Ardyn looks up too, as if he only just realized the stars are visible, and then his amber gaze lowers down to you.

You shake your head under the curious look. “Insomnia has… had… so much light pollution that you couldn’t really see them,” you explain.

“You said this is your first time outside the city?” Ardyn questions, quickly steering the topic from an unpleasant one. You’re grateful for his thoughtfulness.

You turn your head to look at him walking next to you, and realize that he is really tall.

Suddenly there’s no surface under your sole. You step into something that feels like an endless pit and land awkwardly on your right ankle. There is a weird sensation of something shifting and you can barely even start thinking about what just happened, when a flashing pain makes you wail aloud. You stoop forward and end up on your knees and palms on the asphalt.

“Oh my! Are you alright?” Ardyn is already crouching next to you, caring hands on your shoulders and ready to help you up. “Looks like there was a hole in the road…”

You can hear Gladio’s quickly approaching steps. You move your legs and wince again. Your knees and palms sting, but the pain is secondary to the one burning your ankle. You can literally feel the blood rushing and pulsing inside it.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Gladio asks in a concerned tone. You know he is ready to pick you up if you just say the word, so you focus on clenching your jaw and cursing under your breath.

“I just tripped…”

After a good while and with Ardyn and Gladio’s help, you sit on your rear on the cool asphalt. This was not how you wanted your day to end.

Fulgurian’s hairy ass.

“I think it’s sprained,” you say finally after very carefully examining your ankle. It’s tender and hot to the touch and pulses of pain course through it constantly. Ardyn and Gladio follow your motions; waiting for any instructions on how to aid you.

“Can you walk?” Gladio asks. A little panic enters his voice and his hands hover over you, unsure of what to do to help.

“Yeah, it just hurts a little,” you assure. Or more like hell.

Ardyn shakes his head while tutting quietly. “My dear, let us help you back to the caravan.”

You ignore the glare Gladio throws at Ardyn and take hold of both of the men’s shoulders. They help you up to stand. You take a couple of calming, deep breaths and extremely carefully begin to put on weight on your right foot.

Okay, careful now…

The instantly following jolt of pain makes you yelp and you lift the leg again.

Nope.

“So you can’t walk,” Gladio gathers with a huff.

“I’m gonna need some ice for it,” you say while hopping forward with one leg. You have a tight grip on Ardyn’s sleeve on your right side and your arm on Gladio’s shoulder on your left side.

“I think there was an ice machine by the gas station,” Gladio says. You’re almost at the caravan and, oh boy, aren’t you glad that Ignis is already sleeping, so you don’t have to listen to his nagging.

The men help you sit down on one of the plastic chairs. You’re still not putting your feet down and the pain is getting worse by the minute. You must have stretched or torn the ligaments on the outside of your ankle.

Great. Just perfect.

Ardyn crouches in front of you, amber gaze finding your pained expression.

“You should take the shoe off before it swells, my dear,” he says calmly, “May I?”

You nod and brace yourself for the torment.

“I’ll go get the ice,” Gladio says and jogs off after throwing a cautious look at Ardyn, who is now holding your leg gently.

Ardyn opens your shoelaces as much as possible, and then slowly begins to work the shoe off your foot. You stare at his focused face. His brows are lightly furrowed and his lips pursed together, yet the look in his eyes is tender and somehow it makes your stomach flip. His motions are very careful and, to your surprise, you don’t feel any sharp stings of pain.

You release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, when Ardyn places the shoe on the ground.

“Thank you,” you mumble and when he looks up to you with sincere concern in his eyes, your cheeks feel warm.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help but feel a little responsible of your injury,” Ardyn says softly and straightens his back, but doesn’t stand up.

“What? Why?” you ask with raised brows.

Ardyn just looks at you with an inscrutable expression and lets out a wry chuckle.

“Here you go,” Gladio suddenly rumbles next to you and a bag of ice appears into your view.

It takes two seconds of you to rip your eyes off the smile that has appeared on Ardyn’s lips and you turn to accept the bag from Gladio. “Thanks…”

Despite holding the ice on it for a good while, your ankle soon becomes swollen and every little bit of movement hurts, making you grit your teeth in pain. A nice set of lilac bruises soon flower on your skin and you’re no longer wondering did you twist your ligaments or not.

Next Chapter

#ardyn x reader #ardyn izunia #ffxv fanfiction #ffxv #final fantasy xv #fanfiction #trash jesus #noctis lucis caelum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #prompto argentum #sweet disaster #my writings

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boozieelephant-blog · 7 years

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Drunk Elephants and the "C" Word

Alright everyone. We need to have a serious discussion today. There’s this word that I hear every now and again, and it seems to make everyone as as uncomfortable as the hobo at the bus who keeps staring at you, but you can never see his hands. I’m talking about the “C” word, my fellow Elephants. I know it seems vulgar, and in today’s society its use definitely falls in some grey area. But we need to have an honest conversation about it. Pour yourself a cold one, because it’s about to get real. I’m talking about…Communication. Please don’t cover your ears! It’s not that bad. I promise. And I’m not just talking about that semi-useless bachelor’s degree (I’m not still bitter…), but the actual act of it, which seems to be an entirely lost art. Animals use it on a daily basis to convey ideas and feelings, to resolve problems, to coexist, but they are limited to body language and specific noises. Humans are also animals, but we just so happen to have these nifty little things called a voice and a vocabulary, and we can use them to form words to express ourselves, just like our animal friends do, but better.

And yet, despite the fact that it’s something we’ve been able to do since the cavemen times, it seems like communication is avoided like the plague, or worse, your ex from 6 months ago. We have endless means to communicate with one-another. Seriously, we have the ability to communicate with people across the damn planet without ever meeting them. We legitimately can communicate with people in SPACE! It’s absolutely incredible what we, as humans can accomplish when we work together and… *gasp*… communicate with one-another.

Here’s the thing. Communication is literally the key to resolving most problems in any relationship. “Most” being the main proponent here. Some things can’t be solved with words. A swift kick to the jugular is more cathartic in some cases, but I digress. Sure, misunderstandings stem from a form of communication, but having a conversation to resolve the problem is much more helpful than lighting a match and throwing it on your soon-to-be-ex-whatever’s stuff and walking out the door.

If you and your “person” ( SO, friend, parent, boss, teammate, alien life form) have a problem, talk about it. Yes, it can get loud. And it will definitely get real. But how do people expect to solve a problem if they won’t explain why they are upset? Confrontation is certainly not everyone’s favorite thing. No one likes to be uncomfortable. This is understandable. But avoiding a situation and hoping it will get better is akin to seeing a growth on your body and letting it grow in hopes that it will just magically disappear, and unless you’re a wizard, Harry, you can’t just point a wand at it and make it go away.

Problems exist in every single relationship. I don’t care how beautifully Disney-esque your cousin’s relationship looks on instagram. Unless he/she has a secret fairy godmother to turn her rags to a ball-gown, their relationship has it’s problems, also. I’ve said it before. Each relationship is made up of people with their own backgrounds, experiences, and mind-sets. This comes with different views, beliefs, and habits. It’s OKAY to have problems. It is NOT okay to refuse to discuss them, then discard your “person” and their opinions like last week’s leftovers. It appears to me that we currently live in a world of people who have no problem sitting behind their electronic devices and bashing others for every little thing, but when it comes to discussing real issues with people who are important to them, they can’t be bothered. This, my friends, is an absolutely travesty.

I’m going to give you all a little activity, just for shits and giggles. If you find yourself in a situation in the near future where you are unhappy with a situation involving your person, try to work it out instead of blowing the relationship up, Expendables style. Sit down face-to-face and discuss why you are upset. If that makes you uncomfortable, or if you know that either of you tend to get defensive (guilty here), try writing a letter to one another expressing your concerns/angst. This gives you the opportunity to think about what you’re really upset about, and air it out in a way that doesn’t involve you throwing a book at your person because their facial expressions seem to betray their thoughts, and you recognize that “You’re a damned idiot” look all too well. Seriously think about what is upsetting you, really think it through, and then, here’s a completely novel idea… DISCUSS how to come to an agreement/resolution/solution… together. Whaaaaaaat? Who says stuff like this? Drunk Elephants, apparently.

There’s this crazy little activity that used to be super important when we were kids. Barney (the dinosaur, not Stinson) used to sing a song about it. Teamwork! That thing we are oh-so-freaking good at when playing beer-pong and flip cup! Yes, that exact same thing! Rooting for your teammate(s), coming up with strategies, that all-important football huddle. It’s all communication, my dearies. Utilize your abilities to problem-solve in important situations and relationships, and do so together, as a team. You’d be surprised with how much better you’ll feel than if you channeled all that energy into running away from that bridge you just burnt. And, for the added bonus, your relationship can actually become STRONGER! Teamwork makes the Dream work, y’all. Your recipe for communication is as follows: Mix one part your side of the story, with one part story from the other person, splash some listening skills and add in a few dashes of common sense, shake, and serve. Give it a try. You can thank me later.

Cheers, Elephants!

#booze #elephants #followyourdreams #followyournose #drink #adulting is hard #communication #drunk

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24movieworld · 7 years

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Interview with Kurando Mitsutake: I believe the current trend for the market is nostalgic marketing

Kurando Mitsutake is originally from Tokyo, Japan. He graduated with an MFA from California Institute of the Arts and is a member of the Directors Guild of Japan and Screen Actors Guild. Mitsutake made his feature film directorial debut with “Monsters Don’t Get to Cry” in 2004. In 2008, he produced, wrote, and directed his second feature film, “Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf”. The film screened at more than ten film festivals around the world and won multiple awards. “Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf” was distributed in over 15 countries including the United States. “Gun Woman” was Mitsutake’s third feature film and it was awarded the Special Jury Prize at the 24th Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival in Japan. It opened theatrically in Japan nationwide in July of 2014 and was distributed in the US in 2015. His latest film is called “Karate Kill” and will will be available from 8 Films in May. Mitsutake has also appeared as an actor in the American TV series “Ugly Betty” and “Heroes”.

You are actually from Japan but you are currently living and working in LA. How did that came about?

I went to two American art schools to study filmmaking, and afterwards I settled in the States. My current focus is shooting B-Japanese movies in Los Angeles.

Your first film, “Monsters Don’t Get to Cry”, is not known to the public. Can you tell us a bit about it?

I consider my first feature as “an honorable failure,” business wise. It was only distributed in Japan and Germany. No US distributor wanted to touch it, saying it was not Japanese enough. But I think my cast did an amazing job in the movie and I would love to still try and find a US distributor for it.

In “Samurai Avenger,” you also played the starring role. Can you tell us a bit about this double capacity?

After “Monsters Don’t Get To Cry,” I took the “not Japanese enough” advice from my first feature and I went on to make “Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf.” A sushi-western, I called it. It’s a movie about factual bizarre Samurai rituals in a retro-futuristic Wild West-esque world. I decided to play the main character because I was young and stupid. (Laughs.) That’s actually not entirely a joke. But on a more serious note, there were two reasons. I thought if I played the lead, I could save tons of time in rehearsals and production. It would be one less person I needed to direct. Also, I myself as an actor had the most credits of anyone I knew at that time. I had played a reoccurring role on NBC’s “Heroes” Season 2 and I was a guest star on ABC’s “Ugly Betty” Season 1, Episode 4.

Do you consider your films American or Japanese? How difficult is to shoot a film in the US? And how about the collaboration of American and Japanese crew?

I consider my films to be both American and Japanese, a hybrid. Shooting anything in the US is great. Before I became a director, I was a production coordinator and I went all over the US filming and I never had a bad experience. People are professional and hard working. Cities are very film-friendly. I think, when you work in the film industry, no matter what the nationalities are, you speak the same language, share the same sentiment. So I actually don’t see any differences in American and Japanese crews. I guess the only differences are the Union rules. (Laughs.)

Your films are low budgeted. What are the difficulties you stumble upon with the lack of money and how do you get over them?

If you compare my budget to a Hollywood studio budget, mine is like the budget for their donuts. But as a Japanese straight-to-video feature, my budget range is not terrible. Many Japanese genre directors are working with a $30,000 budget for 2 episode features. I do believe in what Orson Welles said, “The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.” But that is not to say, I can’t wait to work with American producers who can finance healthy multi-million dollar range budgets for my films.

Both “Gun Woman” and “Karate Kill” have a distinct 80’s VHS feel, like, for example, Canon’s films. Why did you choose to implement this kind of aesthetics?

I believe the current trend for the market is nostalgic marketing – “yesterday once more” type of deal. This trend is clearly visible in indie genre filmmaking for sure. Tarantino started it with “Kill Bill” and “Grindhouse” and Netflix achieved a new horizon of this trend with “Stranger Things.” I dig it and I’m all on board because it’s like me trying to recreate what I loved as a teenager.

Both films are quite violent. What is your take on violence in films? And what about sex and nudity?

I love B-movies. Like Canon’s films as you mentioned before. They were violent and exploitative but in a more innocent sort of way compared to what’s going on now in exploitative Internet sites. Today, anybody can watch anything on the Internet. For free, I might add. Real decapitations, to celebrities’ hacked cell phone selfie nude photos. So the level of exploitation with violence and nudity are not even comparable to the days before the Internet. So in a sense, I’m trying to re-introduce the sensibility of exploitation films of the past in my movies and that is my romanticism towards the good old days.

Your films seem to have revenge as their main concept. Why is that?

I love a good revenge theme because the concept is very universal. It’s an especially useful theme for me because my movies are a hybrid of two cultures to begin with – American and Japanese. Since my first 3 features were revenge flicks, I wanted to make “Karate Kill” a non-revenge movie. So I wrote it as a rescue movie, which is another universal theme for the action genre.

Asami ,who was already a cult idol in 2014, appears in both films. How did this collaboration came about? In general, how do you choose your actors?

Asami and I became friends back around 2011 or so. I knew of her work and I was a fan. Then we were invited to a fan convention in Germany together. So during this trip, I pitched my dream movie project to her and she said she was the only one actress who could play the main character and she wanted to do it. And that became our “Gun Woman.”

For “Karate Kill,” the lead Hayate was already cast by the executive producer. And I had freedom to cast other characters. So I asked Asami and several other great actors who I had pleasure of working with on “Gun Woman” to come join me for “Karate Kill.”

The action scenes in “Karate Kill” are quite impressive, particularly the ones in the end. Can you tell us a bit about the way you shot them and Hayate’s presence in them?

Thank you. Hayate is the real deal. We used no stunt doubles for him. For the record, he did all his stunts. He is a true karate master and parkour performer. Hayate worked with my action director Keiya Tabuchi very closely to coordinate his own fight scenes and the short parkour chase at the climax of the movie.

How did the concept of Capital Messiah came about in “Karate Kill”? In general, where do you draw inspiration from?

I wanted the Internet to be the bad guy for this movie. With reasons I stated earlier in this interview. To me, the Internet just made too many things viewable, things we really don’t need to see, like the real ultra violent stuff that before was only meant to be seen by rescue and law enforcement professionals. So I developed this Internet cult called “Capital Messiah” and I made them the fictional supplier of gory footage.

The film also features a very impressive poster. Can you tell us a bit about it?

Thank you. I love the poster too. It’s done by The Dude Design – Thomas Hodge, a UK artist. I was a huge fan of his ever since I saw his work for a movie called “Hobo with a Shotgun.” We were introduced to each other in Germany when Asami and I were doing the German tour of “Gun Woman” back in 2014 and we kept in touch. So it was really a natural idea for me to ask Thomas to do the poster for my latest. I’m really thankful for my Japanese producers for agreeing with my idea to bring Thomas on board.

Which are your favorite filmmakers and what kind of movies do you like to watch?

My mentor was Kihachi Okamoto, one of the greatest filmmakers from Japan. His best known work for the West is “The Sword of Doom.” I’m heavily influenced by his directing style. My filmmaking heroes are Sam Peckinpah, Walter Hill, Paul Schrader, Brian De Palma and Akira Kurosawa. And I love genre movies from the 70s and 80s.

What are your plans for the future?

I’ve yet to do a full-on horror movie and I’m dying to do one. Hopefully I can get a green light this year on one of the several pitches that I have out there and get started on my 5th feature.

Thank you so much for the interview!

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