#he didn't even have the time to respond

[brittlebutch]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

#N posts stuff #like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up #JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of #breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least #been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter #what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way #other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit #so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series #Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex #'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals #Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid #and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have) #ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue #that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex #because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay #so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG. #bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly #the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad #'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway. #the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to #like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry #and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated #on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty #so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes #not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway

[fisheito]

Resting body temperature headcanons based on pure speculation

#nu carnival #no i didn't put them at their proper heights they are all just existing randomly #yakumo is an icicle because i want him to be i need him to be #but does he technically go in the middle?? bc someone says “endothermic temperature regulation” #and yakumo will respond “who is that” #how can rei and Dante be similar resting temps but one is almost dead and the other has the energy to fight at the slightest provocation #i don't know #none of this is science #maybe Edmond got his baseline down after his desert training lol #something something muscles higher metabolism than fat something differing temperatures something #edmonds fat thighs are the only thing keeping him from heat stroke #kuya needs everything to be a crisp 17.6 degrees Celsius for optimal comfort #i don't even know why quincy is the king Master heat radiator 6000 #i have no evidence #just a feeling #this entire scale was sparked by the lingering idea that yakumo would enjoy using quincy as a personal heater #they started this #as soon as i finished this i started changing my mind on everyone #gOOD THING temperature isn't a forever one time value----- huh---!!!!! #garu reminds me of those tiny dogs u hold and they're just somehow so warm and their lil hearts beat so fast and you're just wondering #how yall keeping cool under all that fur??? i need to get u some watermelons to lie on #the clan's all here!

[writterings]

so tonight starts the first night of me living alone in a farmhouse for a full month. bthe closest town in 15 minutes away (and is also the town they filmed friday the 15th in) and i'm gonna have to both clean the house and take care of some animals. but! luckily my cousin only lives 15 minutes away (not in the town) so we can hang a lot and i can get her husband to teach me how to do work on cars and how to play guitar or smth :3

#im lowkey sad about leaving my brother at home esp since we're in the middle of watching a show together #but tbh he's been a straight up dick lately to me so fuck him lol #like i GET IT he wants to spend as much time as possible with his girlfriend I GET IT #but if you say we're gonna have a night to just smoke and watch as much of our show as we want #DONT COME HOME AT 11 PM AND THEN STOP AFTER 3 EPISODES JUST SO YOU CAN CALL YOUR GF AFTERWARDS #OR AT LEAST GIVE ME A HEADS UP BC I WILL UNDERSTAND!! AND DONT BE RUDE TO ME WHEN I TEXT YOU A MEME BC IM APPARENTLY INTERUPTTING TIME WITH #UR GF WHO YOUVE SEEN EVERYDAY THIS WEEK LIKE LITERALLY YOU DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO RESPOND TO ME IF IT WAS THAT MUCH OF AN ISSUE #anyways. yeah glad to get some space from him and also i'm gonna start making him pay more for his cut of weed. #also he said he didn't want to hang with me on my birthday so he's legit just being a dick #anyways #rant over #lonely farmhouse time :)

[notmoreflippingelves]

Obsessed with the dynamic (not romantic, not platonic, but a secret third thing--both and yet neither) between two characters who knew and cared about each deeply years ago when they were both younger and life was much less complicated.

But then, tragic, transformative circumstances separated them. Assuming that this separation was certainly permanent, because how could it not be?

And yet, somehow finding each other again years later, and sometimes they aren't sure whether the reunion that they once longed for with every fiber of their beings is a blessing, a curse, a joke, or a punishment.

Because they've both changed in the intervening years--largely because of the hellish circumstances that caused their separation. They've both changed completely and irrevocably, even if one of them has changed much more noticeably and dramatically than the other to the point of seeming a complete stranger. It is about leaning to see and appreciate all the things that have changed about the other and all the things that have not changed. It's about learning to reconcile beloved, often rose-tinted memories with the complex, yet-equally-compelling reality of the person those memories are about.

#it's the very particular sensation of loving someone who is both recognizably your beloved childhood partner-in-mischief #while also being someone so different (physically; mentally; and/or emotionally) that you can scarcely see their past self in them #and knowing the feeling is mutual #and also knowing that the only person who can truly understand the full extent of the change in you is each other #because their transformation is linked to your own #forged in and through the unique experiences that you shared and the way you were separated #it's the idealized adoration of youthful playmates/pseudo-siblings #transforming into a very different but no less powerful connection in adulthood #that's what really gets me #it's just #*chefs kiss* #estabalena #nahyupollo #jaydick #anyway this post is specifically about estabalena and jaydick #and to a lesser extent apollo/nahyuta #but it doesn't really matter if people tag and respond with other ships #even the narumitsus provided they recognize that not every post was made for them #it goes double for jaydick and estabalena tho since they each have two (2) shared formative and transformative experiences #that few (if any) others can possibly understand #for estabalena; it's the 41 years of suffering in the dark times and the crystal well magic flowing through ones veins #for jaydick; it's the experience of being "Robin' and feeling that the role and all it means was ripped from you too soon #and then it's the experience of dying and your family failing to welcome you back with open arms #because you didn't come back 'right' or quick enough #and that you 'chose' to stay away rather than circumstances forcing the issue #apollo/nahyuta also has the jaydick parallels in terms of bruce and dhurke #it's recognizing that your very human shared father figure failed you in many ways #even as he simultaneously saved you in others #he made you both the best version of yourself while also creating or enabling all of your worst tendencies #just

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Alistair: So I'm not going with you, I see. Any particular reason? Tabris: I'm not going to risk you getting hurt, Alistair. Alistair: And you think I want you going in there and sacrificing yourself? You think I want you to die!? But there's no use arguing with you, is there? We don't have time... and you are a stubborn, stubborn woman. Tabris: You would do something foolish. Alistair: Maybe… I guess we'll never know now, will we? I guess this is the last chance we'll get… before this is finished, one way or another. Be careful in there. Tabris: I love you, Alistair. Alistair:

Guess who made the ultimate sacrifice...?

Me. It was me.

I made the ultimate sacrifice.

The achievement wasn't worth it.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #warden tabris #i'm genuinely so heart broken #i just wanted to see what ending you get when you reject morrigan's ritual since i have very strong opinions on it as i've discussed before #and it's more in character for my tabris to reject it anyway so this was the first time i did it and just...... i am hurt #like... it's such a hopeless 'what was even the point? she didn't deserve this' feeling y'know? she didn't deserve this! #and neither did alistair... he already holds so much guilt over duncan and cailan making him stay out of battle in ostagar #and then rose makes him stay behind so she can face the archdemon and die ALONE... while also robbing him of the chance to stand beside her #the way i play dao is alistair is forever in my party like i literally take him *everywhere* he is with rose the entire journey #they are partners in this forever and always and they planned to face the archdemon together but that changed with riordan's news... #and this is the first time since they met in ostagar that he hasn't been in her party and i didn't expect it to hurt so much... #plus i keep alistair a warden so he's left alone in the aftermath of a blight that took everything from him #and i know the end card was retconned but it says that he was so hurt over the warden's death #that he said it wasn't the same anymore and he fucking *left* the order and fereldan and his whereabouts are unknown after he made #a small monument for duncan in his birthplace like.... again i know that was retconned since he obviously didn't leave the wardens but OOF #oh and don't even get me started on morrigan and how she responds to being rejected like i'm chewing on all my furniture right now #there is so much to dissect in that conversation and i'm too emotionally drained to handle it right now...

[kohakhearts]

me as a student: it must be so annoying for teachers to receive emails from former students, idk if i wanna bother them even if they said i could :/

me as a teacher: if you dont email that story you showed me after youve finished writing it just know that i KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE-

#taylor.txt #ok i have a former student whose email i desperately need to respond to...i told him to send me a reminder if i forgot to respond and he di #so djfgfjkdjkfd it's time. it's time #that being said i also just sent an email to one of MY high school teachers and theres this weird part of my brain thats like #what if he doesnt remember who i am. as if you could ever forget a kid who spent every other lunch hour crying in your classroom #i wanted to tell him about where i'm teaching now and like...i'm graduating uni! bc i used to send him yearly updates but never did this #year so yeah. my rational brain knows he'll appreciate it and be excited for me but it does kind of feel like a...damn it's kinda weird to #still be sending emails to your high school teachers 5 years out #but like aforementioned former student of mine i technically didn't even teach #he was in a club i ran in sept-nov 2022. and obviously i don't find it weird that he's still emailing me so yeah #teachers love this shit. believe me. when we say 'you can always email!!!' we mean it lmfao

[wherela]

one of those crying in the shower kind of days

#my 'best friend' stood me up today #and by stood me up i don't mean canceled last minute i mean didn't show up and only responded to my calls and texts after 45 min #why? she was hanging out with some guy (she met him last week. he's not a christian.) and lost track of time #she's also initiated no contact with me over the last few weeks #the explenation was she thought i was busy with my thesis. as if you can't check in on someone when they're busy #she also gosted me for 3 days (like a month ago??) cause she was asked to share at student group and i couldn't go CAUSE I WAS SICK #I'm just so tired of it at this point #but it's also made me realise i dont really have any close friends #i have lots of friends. sure. and i trust them too. but it's not the kind of close where i can write to them when I've got a problem #like maybe I'd tell them live if they asked me? but I wouldn't really write to them it would just be weird #and so who do I tell that I met S's parents yesterday and even though so many things have happened since then already thats the only one #I can think about???? or that he actually CALLED ME afterwards specifically to tell me what they thought of our church #or that his mom apparently asked him if our relationship was still weird and he said 'yes' and I've been overthinking it cause i thought we #were finally okay and normal and genuinely just friends? #or that his mom said my look is that i dress vintage and it made me SO HAPPY!! that's my look!!! that's how I'm recognisable!!! #the answer is nobody. i have no one to tell :( #mine #s #I'm sorry I guess I had to vent this prolly turned out really really long

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

I just read your mando episode 1 thoughts and I’m really glad you also didn’t like the Nevarro changes like I love Nevarro and I watched the episode and was like hm… Nevarro is… boring now…

Hello there, Anon! Finally getting around to this ask but it's been on my mind. It just really, really bothers me how flat and boring Nevarro is now. I liked the appeal of a grimy, hardscrabble planet that scraped by with work by the Bounty Hunters Guild, trade, and shadier, more illicit activities. It was a fun and fascinating look into the Outer Rim away from the likes of Tatooine, and now that's gone. Now Nevarro looks and sounds like a freaking Renn Faire trying to eat its cake as some cleaned up and respectacle independent trade center, and I feel like a joke watching it.

The entire season premiere was a mixed bag of decisions and the choices made with Nevarro really damped my already low expectations. Really hope the only way now is up.

#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks #I just have to know if the Imperial Remnant had such an iron grip on Nevarro years after the war #that it really took that long for Greef to start cleaning up town #when he said that the scum and villainy was finally washing away I DIDN'T THINK HE ALSO MEANT THE GUILD HE WORKED WITH #I guess it's just doing business but damn I didn't know he wanted so badly for the bounty hunters to get off his planet #I thought it was so cool that one of Din's support friends had that connection to the bounty hunting business #can't even have that tho can I #what happened with Freetown felt way more organic than whatever this was #then again I have no idea what the actual passage of time is on this show #mostly because I don't trust a single fucking thing coming out of jon dave favloni's mouth #when jon has to correct dave about whether or not luke is a fucking jedi on the record #like okay! fuck it! fuck you fuck me fuck everyone! whatever!

[lonesomedotmp3]

every once in a while I rerealise that my teenage self wasn't crazy/selfish/ungrateful and my parents really were just Like That

#like they've mellowed out NOW but my dad still got drunk on my twelfth birthday and used to get in terrifying moods #where he'd get physical wih my sister and once for no actual reason he shoved me to the floor #and my mum would get into random sulks and say she wishes she didn't have us and there would be constant loud explosive arguments #in our house at all times and I'd spend my days in constant stress and that's literally why I'm like this. #like ok i didn't make any of that up and I'm just supposed to forget abt it now they're better (not even GOOD. just better) #and i have! and then it turns out the only reason they've been chill is because #1) they think I'm going to kill myself and 2) I've been acting the way they wanted me to #the second i ask for anything from them that they disagree (like. don't call me every single hour because i haven't responded to a text u #sent three hours ago) it's back to the same bullshit. whatever #OH remember when my dad said i eat too much and started me on the path to my eating disorder. good times! #god remember when they yelled at my in public for my eating disorder. jesus #remembering parts of my childhood and they're all bad lol!

[oh-katsuki]

remind me to never ask ppl in college for favors ever again jessusssss...

#so i missed a week about two weeks ago bc i was knocked on my ass by an illness that literally... sent me to the emergency room for- #breathing treatments #and i emailed one of my professors asking for some info on like... what i missed and he simply never responded and then when he did he- #didn't answer my questions properly #so i asked my groupmates 'hello did i miss anything last week that i have to know about for when i come back?' #and they said 'no you didn't.. don't even worry' #and i was like COOL! DOPE! #come to find out today. my first day back in class #(we went on a field trip last week so we weren't in the classroom) #they text in the groupchat talking about a GROUP PROJECT??? TODAY??? #DUE TONIGHT OR WEDNESDAY???? #and so i ask 'uh hey... group project? since when?" #and they said 'oh yeah.. during the week you missed he assigned us groups and we have to make a still life collaboratively- #it's due either tonight or wednesday depending on what groups need more time' #like JESUS. that would have BEEN NICE TO KNOW????????? LIKE???? WAAAAYYYYYY EARLIER??? WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭 #and my prof didn't PUT THAT SHIT ON CANVAS EITHER

[hella1975]

WHY ARE YOU MESSAGING ME NOW OF ALL TIMES 🤺🤺 BACK 🤺 BACK I SAY 🤺🤺🤺

#not the childhood best friend popping up it’s as if he knows my mental health is fucked when I’m home #he said yes now is a great time to reach out actually #and he’s right too! i know damn well I’m gonna respond! #basically <- typed that word and burst out laughing bc idk how to even START explaining this mf to you guys #basicallyyyy me and him were in the same form at secondary so EVERY DAY we saw each other and in year 8 we dated #for a good while actually but tbh my mental health was FUCKED all caps FUCKED in year 8 like there was nothing special about it #it's just i reckon it was the first proper depressive episode i had and being so young i didnt know yet how to handle it #so i just spiralled and i did some really awful things and my home life really suffered for it and being me no one at school had a CLUE #so he was just like 'yes we are in love!' and i knew i didn't like him romantcially but i strung him along anyway #bc he genuinely was one of the few things keeping me above water at the time #which looking back i now know was a bad thing to do and i should have called it off sooner but like #his friendship was EVERYTHING to me at the time bc he was like really. adoring? he was really really infatuated with me #and at a time when i was convinced i was a monster it was just. i cannot explain how much he kept me sane #though he was obvs OBLIVIOUS to all that and when i finally got Mentally Healthy again i obvs broke up with him bc it was the right #thing to do and he was DEVASTATED like this man was vaguing about me on sc and refused to talk to me for MONTHS #but eventually we became friends again and at a time when i was changing friendship groups every YEAR if that he was just #a really consistant point in my life and i loved him a lot. BUT he always went for really batshit girlfriends and they always HATED me #no matter how nice i was to them and he'd always break up with them and crawl back to me and we argued like cat and dog like #he's the only friend ive ever had where we argued ALL THE TIME and he still liked me enough to come back #i genuinely thought the world of him despite everything we just have sooo much history #AND NOW HE'S MESSAGING ME???? god im not your strongest soldier

[fionnaskyborn]

current mood:

#it's about people who have gone through events that are uncannily similar but have dealt it both the events and the aftermath in #drastically different ways. one of them was surrounded by people who didn't look and sometimes didn't act the part but ultimately meant #only well and the other only had one person who cared about him near him and not even that person was in a good enough place to give him #that sort of empowerment‚ the strength to try and fight against impossible odds and an inescapable situation #and i've seen takes (don't remember where) that state that rai is ultimately so much stronger than v because he managed to free himself #from the shackles of his assigned fate whereas v 'failed' to do so but like... i believe that v is equally as strong for just... existing. #and maybe the world would've been better off if he had died as soon as he learned the truth but he lived because he wanted to see a better #world and believed that him being stripped of his identity was a small price to pay for a better world but what makes him even stronger in #my eyes is the fact that he KEPT LIVING even when he realized that there was no way to make things better from his position as much as he #wanted to and when he saw that everything was going to hell and that he was doomed to just... stay there and be trapped and be forced to #work for ideas that directly oppose his own #and DESPITE ALL OF IT‚ HE KEPT HIMSELF ALIVE (until nato called and said ''hey bibo if you don't respond to the allegations we will nuke #your house'' (referring to V's OH) and bibo just. did not answer. and threw v under the bus and let him die like he was nothing #like i need you to understand this man has the mental resolve of joy herself but you aren't ready for that talk #look point is i think that if they were to ever meet rai would initially not like v at all and couldn't exactly pinpoint why he doesn't #like him - he's polite‚ relatively kind‚ a bit sassy at times‚ and really quiet‚ which in a way mirrors his own mannerisms - so he has no #clue as to why he /doesn't like him at all/ (and of course rai being rai would be polite in turn but he'd never be earnestly amiable) #UNTIL one of them tries to start a conversation about more mundane topics like music or movies and as they exchange opinions rai realizes #that he really doesn't have to bother with the whole thing about resolve and determination to pursue your own goals and differences in #ideologies and that he can just talk to this guy as if he were one of his friends from nyc from back when life was relatively normal #(aka before big shell and when the memories of his past were artificially surpressed HMM PARALLELS YES) #in conclusion v is less anti-raiden and more the second coming of joy and also the two of them would (eventually) be friends and talk about #film and music. rai would absolutely DIG some of the 80's stuff v listens to. thank you for joining me on yet another episode of 'insanity #with fionna' #zeta gear tag #i wrote a lot here and i've made some good points so in the tag it goes

[castielsprostate]

you dont get to have an opinion, you didn't even come to my birthday party!!

#read this in tati's voice #this is about someone irl dw ALL OF YOU ARE WELCOME TO HAVE ANY OPINION BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP #lmao #for context: i posted an ig story about some prints i made and if people would get them. he responded with the no option #like bestie?? you haven't answered ANY polls in weeks. you DIDN'T WISH ME A HBD. you STOOD ME UP WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D COME OVER FOR GAME #NIGHT A FEW WEEKS AGO. cool that you wouldn't get it but fuck you dean fuck you #YOU COULDN'T EVEN SEND HAPPY BIRTHDAY #YOU COULDN'T EVEN SAY SORRY FOR YOUR FUCKING LOSS WHEN MY GMIL FUCKING DIED #go fuck yourself Dean #the irony in his name being dean >:/ #sjonnie.text #sad wank #anyway now it's time for my hour and a half car ride and i DONT WANT TO but yknow #i might get to go to the small beach though!!!!!!!!!! + side!!!!!

[coruscanti-arabi]

white people stop telling fans of color what is and isn't racism.

!Impossible Challenge!

!NOT CLICKBAIT!

#fandom racism #you're writing your own little fanfiction #me - directly quoting source material that can be found if you watch the show for more than two seconds #what does race have to do with it? what does my identity have to do with it? - a white person #you said the word literally aggressively #i didn't even notice you were brown - my name is written in arabic script clearly wasn't white european or american there #and all of this on one post #you sound stupid - a white person #where op and i had discussed the topic of racism on it with nuance and come to a conclusion #and suddenly several white people jumped in to belittle me gaslight me and insult me #and by suddenly i mean one was completely unprovoked didn't respond to any of their comments at all until they came after me #and another asked why racism and maul were discussed together since he's an alien and i said he was literally black coded #like what even #why is it such a debatable topic for you #because if it was misogyny being discussed these women wouldn't think twice to do what they did to me today #they weaponised their power as white people and when called out by me they weaponised being neurodivergent and being a woman #and then when a white ally (op) called one out for calling me aggressive multiple times #they didn't argue with her and deleted their comment to escape accountability and an actual apology #whiteness holds power that while we can be in close proximity to it #we will never be able to have the same power #because my statements are taken as a debate piece #whereas white ally statements are taken as solid #the double standard exists #as a micro aggression #and it's why allies need to amplify our voices #reiterate what we say if they have to like using the phrase just as x person said #because they won't listen to us but they will listen to other white people #this isn't star wars exclusive but it has been my experience in that specific fandom today #but it applies to every fandom and everyday life too

[genderfluid-druid]

.

#ok we're gonna try to finish this story in under 30 tags ok let's go #SO. 'hahaha yeah wow that's crazy that you know him! we did date yeah. (does not elaborate)' #but. okay confession time. i know this was a questionable choice. it was selfish. it fed the brain gremlin that craves validation #but i never blocked M on snapchat #so even though we never talked. i could see when he viewed my stories. and i won't lie. there is a smug part of me that enjoyed #letting him see me go on about my life. #i am a flawed bitch. so sue me. it was a manageable amount of contact that didn't send me into spirals #and he DID keep viewing them. #he even messaged me once! i don't know maybe a year ago. it was totally out of the blue. 'saw this book and thought of you' on a picture of #a nice edition of The Hobbit. i didn't respond. i had to have a petty moment for all the times during the Bad Era when i tried to message #him and he took too long (in my shitty estimation) to message back. so i left him on read. for like a year #okay you can see where this is going so I'll cut to the chase #'i ran into a friend of yours' is a perfectly reasonable conversation starter. it can be the whole conversation if it needs to be. #well. it wasn't #idk. my world state for the last six years has been 'M doesn't care for me and there is no world in which we ever have a civil chat again.' #well. that doesn't track with 'it's past my bedtime but i don't mind staying up to chat' and 'i would love to get an earful about podcasts' #and 'let's chat again' and 'it was really great to hear from you' #idk. i don't know what emotion i should feel. anger is gonna be the first one that makes it to the surface i think #got a good healthy dose of anger happening #grief. i do think there's some grief. mmhmm yep there it is #there are probably some positive emotions but those are the most strenuously repressed and i don't think I'm ready to let the collar off #i have made a lot of choices in the last six years to protect my mental health specifically because of how that relationship ended #so even just talking to him is. well for one thing it's playing a bit fast and loose with the health i have managed to build up #i feel good. my life has been good lately. my therapist moved me from monthly to once every three months. my social life is the most #thriving it's ever been #i am possibly in a place to unbox some things that were thrown in the attic as an emergency measure #i should talk to my therapist

[evankinard]

.

#1 am therapy session #he doesn't mean to but sometimes my dad reacts to things in a certain way that just make me want to immediately burst into tears #like i was saying goodnight to my mom and i asked her if he was still awake to say goodnight #and she thought he was so i did but he didn't respond so she goes '[dad's name] [my name] is saying goodnight' pretty loudly admittedly #and he went 'ugh i was asleep you woke me up!' #which fair i mean but i have very chronic rsd so it just grshckahwkalkd #man would i love to one day experience normal emotions #these aint even shrimp emotions these are plankton feelings #its a scary world out here for us buck kinnies #i dont cry a lot but i am at any point in time always on the verge of tears and isnt that what matters in the end :)