#he's hard to piss off. king shit /pos
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I posted 22,731 times in 2022
That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!
285 posts created (1%)
22,446 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@kydrakinetic
@draal-the-deadly
@theminecraftbee
@talesofarcadiaforever
@pacificwaternymph
I tagged 3,073 of my posts in 2022
#the arson human talks shit - 130 posts
#favourite - 126 posts
#ask game - 116 posts
#ask games - 116 posts
#thanks for the ask! - 74 posts
#gods and hunters - 47 posts
#writing tips - 43 posts
#tales of arcadia - 38 posts
#yes - 32 posts
#:) - 31 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#'don't let her see your power in the daylight' could be a reference to the trollhunter amulet and sword of daylight and how jim needs to hi
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Sometimes a family isn't a mom, dad, 2.5 children, and a white picket fence. Sometimes it's:
- A near 1000 year old punk wizard boy who needs a hug.
- A very sarcastic talking cat with poor eyesight.
- A plant goddess.
- An Akaridion warrior queen.
- Her little brother, who gives off pure aroace vibes and can build a mind reader in 2 hours.
- A short gremlin king with a very large conspiracy board.
- A dude who's a fan of hard rock, and has a warhammer.
- A very sassy blue child who needs 10 years of therapy.
- The troll history teacher that tried to kill the sassy blue child 10x over. He's also dating the sassy blue child's mother. Troll dad #2 of sassy blue child.
- The Mother Of The Sassy Blue child. Who for some reason didn't think that something was seriously up with her kid. (Plot Armour.)
- A guy who was there for comedy relief, but somehow got a bully redemption arc.
- Purple punk child who got posessed by former evil sorcerer lady once.
- Troll dad #1 of sassy blue child, he likes reading and burning books.
- A Troll covered in moss, he's the wingman and a former pacifist.
- Former evil sorcerer lady with a similar aesthetic to a Marvel Norse God, but actually had a point.
- Adoptive dad of punk wizard boy. Who says he doesn't care that much. But he cares A LOT.
279 notes - Posted January 5, 2022
#4
It's time for some Empires Propaganda...
Come watch Empires SMP Season 2! We have the following:
A little scrunkly goblin man who lives in caves and likes pickles and scams
A catwoman that actively commits crimes against humanity A totally normal human. Yep absolutely a human
A Princess in a pretty pink tutu that will fight entire monster armies (it's secret though hush)
The Sheriff who's definitely not a toy
The witch that got expelled from the academy for destroying reality as we know it
The Dungeon Master who keeps his dubious amounts of smooth stone inside a tomb
A 5ft 11ft god complex personified whose obsessions include dirty jokes, gold, and the word 'Lore'
A reality traveler who decides that trusting nobody and stealing clothes off of corpses is the best chance at survival
The self-appointed princess who decides to trust the little blue lights leading her into the dark cave is a smart idea to get a kingdom banner.
The hardwood seller, whose adoptive father is part rabbit and whose idea of father-son bonding is animal slaughter
Heterochromia but through nefarious skull means. And he's not straight
Pirate who asks nicely first before stealing any of your belongings
The one-night stand of a child who consistently has to deal with both of his 'daddy's' excessively worse-by-day dirty jokes
286 notes - Posted August 2, 2022
#3
"If your wondering why I use he/him pronouns for the allays, I just think of them as himbos"
Thanks, Pixl for this new mental image /pos
289 notes - Posted August 4, 2022
#2
Despite TOA being done, I am creating propaganda...
Come Watch Tales Of Arcadia! We Have The Following:
A magic amulet, which gives you really cool silver armour and a death sentence!
Cheeky Wizards x4
Murder board created by a small teen who has the ability to 'Tokyo Drift' a car
A literal hacker/Queen of an entire planet
Crispy
Jim Lake Jr, one of the best animated TV protags I've ever seen.
A hellfire of a movie
Magic Siblings :)
A dog who pisses explosions
MMMMMMMM GLORY
*enters Janus Order* *two aliens are playing techno music* *bones are everywhere* TEEN CENTER!!!!!
Getting possessed by eldritch wizards intent on destroying the world is completely normal.... IT'S FINE.
Strangely specific threats.
Really cool CGI animation.
"bUT A GnoMe IN A DOLLHOUSE??"
an insane amount of AUs
Haha what is this sadness? Why is everyone dying? *Play's STARSET's Unbecoming*
I suggest looking up the definition of 'Moppet'
The entirety of the word 'Buttsnack' being used so casually
"SHUT UP STEVE"
The Goblin Revolution
Jim Lake Jr, one second being the definition of a sweetheart. Two minutes later, "Hey Strickler. *spits in his mouth*"
The Breakfast Reckless Club
Steve's screams.
Troll Jim.
Toby being the bestest friend you could ever ask for
The murder of a highschool principal.
Assassins and Bounty Hunters galore.
See the full post
346 notes - Posted February 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
The defining traits of humanity are NOT sex, romance, and empathy.
The defining traits of humanity are our creativity, adaptability, and our boundless amounts of hubris.
As well as arson.
1,730 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Houseguest Rankings Update
So a lot has happened since last week, meaning my personal houseguest rankings are still changing. This time around I’m include the ranks, explanations, and comparison with my previous rankings from last week. I’m also not including evicted houseguests, so Paloma is out of the list.
1. Taylor (Prev 1) - I still feel obligated to put her up here because the hate hasn’t and probably never will stop, also she has shown herself to be even cooler and more strategic recently. Although she has a questionable taste in men, I can’t hate her for that and it’s doing her good sooooooo I think that’s a win.
2. Michael (Prev 4)- He moved up tremendously because he’s a veto king and he’s doing a great fucking job strategy wise. He wants to work with the underdogs which I love and his energy is just impeccable. If Taylor wasn’t being hated so much he would be my number one fr.
3. Indy (Prev 5)- She is iconic, and she is the moment. Calling out ignorance, promoting comfortable and sexy women, and she’s just.....genuinely funny? The only reason she isn’t higher is because she doesn’t do much gameplay but damn she calls out all the assholes in the house and I’m here for it.
4. Brittany (Prev 2)- I do still love Brittany don’t get me wrong, but her gameplay is a little messy. Her going to Pooch last week? Girl, that was such a big mistake. She runs around a lot with info and that’s pretty scary to do in this game. If she just shut up though she has a lot going for her bc she’s super strategic and smart.
5. Nicole (Prev 3)- I honestly don’t know why she was at #3 last week, but maybe the others were just pissing me off more atm? She’s still one of the better players imo and I like that she’s actually playing the damn game instead of letting personal feelings get in the way, but she is still aligned with ugly people and some of her views are super skewed bc of it.
6. Ameerah (Prev 12)- I moved her up a bunch because she is one of the main female forces in this game and she is playing super hard against the guys and I’m here for it. I knew my MD rep wouldn’t flop even if she is a total bitch, but homegirl is still on the shit list bc of the things she has said about Taylor and the people she aligns with.
7. Kyle (Prev 11)- I admittedly don’t mind this guy. I refuse to put him super high bc he is still a garbage trumpie and annoying tiktoker but so far his gameplay has been solid and I think he is aligning with the right people. If he is an asset to Taylor and Michael he’s good in my book idc.
8. Alyssa (Prev 6)- She’s still super irrelevant, so she only moved down bc others moved up. Also her whole crush on Kyle is annoying af.
9. Turner (Prev 7)- He’s still irrelevant and I never see this man talk game or really anything to anyone. All I know is that he needs to shower and that he’s aligned with poopy pooch.
10. Joseph (Prev 8)- He continues to kind of be a dick, so that’s why he’s down lower this time, but out of the people I can’t stand currently in the house he is by far not the worst. I do feel bad that Pooch is all over him and making him uncomfortable, but that doesn’t take away the fact that he literally doesn’t fucking know how to play the game. He’s stupid and his gameplay sucks.
11. Daniel (Prev 10)- He didn’t move that much, but he’s going lower because of many weird and sexual remarks he’s made. He’s still trash and he needs to go, but at least he is trying to do some gameplay (even though Nicole is carrying tf out of him let’s be real). If he keeps Taylor though ig he can have one point.
12. Jasmine (Prev 14)- Look she’s only up higher because Pooch and Terrance suck more. Is it good that she’s working with the girls and actually doing what’s best for her game? Sure. However, I can’t get over how excruciatingly annoying she is and how much of a spoiled pos she is either. This woman only twisted her ankle yet has the entire house slaving for her, wiping her ass, feeding her, bringing her ice, etc. Then this bitch isn’t even grateful about it and calls the people she doesn’t like (Taylor) bitches and whores even after they try to be nice to her. This woman needs to seriously be humbled and I think a prejury boot would do just that.
13. Pooch (Prev 13)- Looks like he didn’t move, because homeboy hasn’t changed anything since last week. He’s still sexist garbage, he still thinks everyone loves him, and he probably wins the award for the stupidest fucking gameplay I have ever seen in my entire life. This man doesn’t even deserve to be here so byeeeeee.
14. Terrance (Prev 9)- I had to move this guy down so far because he talks about Taylor like she’s a child that needs discipline (he even used that word I think). What the fuck is his obsession over a woman about half his age? He thinks bc he’s 50 something that he can talk about younger women like that? Get the fuck out of here jfc I knew he was another Derek F.
15. Monte (Prev 16)- The only reason Terrance is above you is because he at least knows that Taylor is valuable to his game, whether he likes her or not. YOU however can’t see that, so like an idiot you go around saying shit and running your mouth. Monte better be the next target or I might lose it because I can’t stand seeing this moron play anymore. Also I’m not over the tweets I saw. He is clearly a garbage person with garbage gameplay and I don’t know why he was even let into the house to begin with.
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BB23 FINALE SPECIAL EDITION! HAPPY FINALE DAY!
The BB23 Houseguests As Memorable Death Scenes from TV Shows/Movies:
Alyssa: The Titanic- Rose: honestly she knew that man for what? three days. And she was ready to marry him. And then she let his ass freeze to death. And it took her 84 years to see him again.
Azah: Spy Kids 3: Game Over- Demetra: Like damn if you didn’t love Demetra just to be pissed off that she was a virus and had to stay in the game as it was being destroyed and couldn’t even be with Junie like damn she was such a conflicting person but they didn’t have to do us that way 😭
Brent: John Tucker Must Die- John Tucker: this is more of a character assassination than an actual assassination but strong, fed up women coming together to humiliate and exact revenge on a POS man. Iconic.
Britini: The Maze Runner- Chuck’s death: Like yeah was he annoying at times and all over the place. Of course. But damn it hurt when he died. Like shit I didn’t think I was gonna miss Chuck but there I was crying that they killed him 😔😔
Christian: Scream- Stu: Honestly the way Stu shot himself and then cried like a bitch was very reminiscent of how Christian threw a fit the moment he knew his game was over.
Claire: The Walking Dead- 4x14 “Prey”: When Carol has to kill Lizzy because Lizzy had become a threat. The parallels I felt from watching Tiffany send Claire out OOF. JUST LOOK AT THE FLOWERS CLAIRE! LOOK AT THE FLOWERS!! 😭😭
Derek F: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2- Bellatrix Lestrange: it’s the fact that Bellatrix was called a bitch and then killed by a scornful woman. That’s exactly how DF’s BB deserves to end. NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!
Derek X: Marley & Me- …we knew it was coming…but it was so hard to watch 🥺
Frenchie: Game of Thrones- 4x02 “Purple Wedding”: When King Joffrey finally kicks the bucket like damn took y’all long enough never thought we’d ever get rid his ass (like I realize it was only two weeks but Frenchie felt like a goddamn life time)
Hannah: Avengers: Infinity War- Peter Parker: The devastation I felt. The fear in her eyes. She was just like Peter. He knew he was dying and he couldn’t stop it. MR STARK I DONT FEEL SO GOOD 😭
Kyland: The Lion King- Scar: His reign of terror comes to end and he gets thrown to the hyenas. Poetic really.
Sarah Beth: The Wizard of Oz- The Wicked Witch melting after Dorothy douses her in water. She’s melting! WHAT A WORLD WHAT A WORLD!
Travis: Spongebob Squarepants- 2x06 “Bubble Buddy”: that one fish they died because Bubble Buddy let him drown by high tide.
Tiffany: Avengers: Endgame- Tony Stark: I’m not even gonna explain why this is Tiffany YALL GET IT RIGHT?? LIKE THAT SHIT HURTED SO BAD 🥺
Whitney: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith- Padme: no because by the time she died she was annoying and I didn’t care. “Luke you’re breaking my heart 🥺🥺” stfu already jesus.
Xavier: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2- Voldemort: It’s literally just because they are both bald headed assholes. Avada Kedavra bitch!
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FIC SNIPPET: Dark Angel: Dathomir, Chapter II
It’s goin’ slow folks, but thought I’d drop a snip from the next chapter of Dark Angel: Dathomir.
Characters: Sergeant Kreel, Baroness Lylla Sa’thraxxx (OFC)
Series can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/762363
Kreel glanced her way, and nodded. “Affirmative.” He looked out on the barren red waste before them as he weighed a question. “Baroness,” he began quietly, “when you say this planet is a conduit for the Force… you mean the Dark Side, don’t you?”
She turned, surprise gaping her lips. "You know about the split in the Force, the Light and the Dark?"
Kreel nodded. "Grakka the Hutt collected Jedi artifacts--”
“Like the one you carry in that pouch on your belt,” Lylla interjected. She met Kreel’s stare. “I saw you palm it in the hangar when I startled you. What is it?”
“It’s a lightsaber, ma’am,” Kreel answered, touching the pouch once more.
She drew back in her saddle. “And you know how to use it?”
“Lord Vader showed me a few moves, yes.”
“Did he?” She cocked an eyebrow. The Might of the Empire deemed this Force-blind stormtrooper worthy enough to train with a lightsaber? Interesting. She gestured lightly. “Continue.”
“I read some things, about the Jedi, their interpretation of the Force, both the Light and the Dark. ‘Love all life, no matter what’. Even if that ‘life’ is murdering your family in front of you." Lylla noted the way his fist tightened around the reins. "Pretty words, and utter shavit. That's not how the universe works.” He tapped that fist on his armored thigh with every word. “Order. Strength. And the will to do what needs to be done. That's what keeps the peace, that's what brings security. Lord Vader understands that. If he uses the Dark Side of the Force to make it happen for this shit galaxy, I doesn’t bother me one bit."
Lylla settled back in her saddle, eyeing him intently. "Tell me your opinion of Lord Vader, Sergeant.” She cracked a smile when Kreel peered at her through his lenses. “I assure you, this conversation is confidential. The tac-net is muted. You are safe."
He stared at her a few more seconds, measuring her intent, before he conceded, "He is the greatest warrior I've ever known, Baroness. I don't just mean as Supreme Commander of the Imperial Forces. I mean on the ground, in the mess, fighting beside us. Your platoon deploys with Lord Vader, you know you're coming home alive that day. He fights like an AT-AT and fears nothing.”
"How does he treat his men?” she asked, genuinely curious. “The troops I mean.”
Kreel hesitated for a moment before he huffed a chuckle. "He positively dotes on us, ma'am. I mean, in his own way.”
She chuckled. "I understand. Perfectly."
“He’s got no respect for those pinky-lifting Prefsbelt boys in the officers’ corps, who call a battle from cushioned seats and bellies full of real food. Well, Piett maybe, but he’s a Rimworlder who’s seen some action, like me.” He cocked his helmet toward her. “Like you.” Lylla smirked. Kreel continued. “Lord Vader is demanding, but he expects excellence and inspires us to achieve it." He blew a sigh. “When the Garscon system went public in their support for Lord Vader as the Emperor’s legal heir, he granted every troop in the 501st a reenlistment bonus of five years pay. Tax free, right into the every troops’ account. And doubled our pensions and death benefits to the families. That’s almost a million credits per troop.” He snorted. “Pissed the officers’ corps off to no end, which made it even sweeter. Hell, we had nothing to do with the Garsconi Allegiance, but he did it anyway.”
“Really?” Vader had taken the tithe she’d manipulated from the King and Queen of Garscon and awarded it to the 501st? She huffed an incredulous breath. “And he says he’s not a politician.”
“Ma’am?”
“I needn’t tell you that his actions weren’t out of benevolence, do I? He was ensuring the 501st’s loyalty.”
Kreel shrugged. “It worked. Every troop in Vader’s Fist signed back up. We make it out of the corps alive, we’re set for life. We don’t, families don’t sell their kids to feed their other kids. A good life for us, and a good death too. Not like the fucking Republic did to their clones.”
“Do you think he’ll make a good Emperor, Sergeant Kreel?” Kreel slowly turned to meet Lylla’s cold stare. “Be truthful. Do not tell me what you think I want to hear.”
“As far as I’m concerned ma’am, he already is,” Kreel answered, lowly yet firmly. “Lord Vader isn’t just a man. He’s the symbol of the Empire and everything it stands for. And...with a woman like you at his side, I have no doubt that he will raise the Empire to even greater glory and prosperity.” He held her cowl-shrouded white stare before he jerked his attention forward. “I just hope I’m around to see that day come.”
But Lylla never broke hers on him. She allowed a few moments to pass before it was time to finally get this out in the open. “And what do you plan on doing with that bonus when you leave, Sergeant? Settle down? Make little Kreels?”
Kreel huffed. “Don’t plan on leaving the Corps on my feet, Baroness. No better death than dying in the name of the Empire. But by the Force-damned chance that I might…” He shook his head. “No. That ain’t me.”
“You sure about that? A powerful…” She took a long breath, “virile man like you leading a life of celibacy? Sounds downright Jedi.” A beat. “What a waste.”
She’d done something with her voice, woven it into a silken purr that seeped into his ear and curled around his neck like a loth kitt. Kreel slowly turned her way, right into the trap of her white eyes. Even under the shadow of her cowl, he saw her pupils blow wide under her black lashes, and the subtlest curve in her moist lips caused his breath to hitch. He couldn’t count how many nubile pleasure-slave bodies he had seen in his lifetime, all of which would cause any groin to twitch. But they paled in comparison to the sultry look this creature was giving him now.
Lylla canted her head. “May I ask you a question, Sergeant?”
“Of course, Baroness,” he said through a throat that had gone suddenly dry.
“Why don’t you ever take your helmet off?” She gave a lilting shrug. “I’ve seen all of SCAR’s faces, but never yours. Why is that?”
“I take it off to eat and sleep. And then only sometimes,” he answered quickly.
“I didn’t ask when you take it off. I asked why you don’t.”
That sniper-scope glare of hers told him she wasn’t about to let up. Kreel sighed. “Very well, Baroness. You know I’m from Chagar IX.”
“Of course.”
“And you know Chagar IX was a Republic penal colony for the Zapaach Sector before the Empire came?”
She dipped her head in acknowledgement. “I do.”
“Then you know that… prisoners interbred. A hundred different races for a hundred generations.” He straightened in his saddle. “I’m not entirely human, ma’am.”
Lylla arched a brow. “I see. You don’t want to call attention.”
“That doesn’t matter to me. My helmet is my face, my armor is my skin. I’m an Imperial stormtrooper, that’s it. Don’t need to be anyone or anything else.” He blew a breath. “Haven’t seen my own face in years.”
“Not even to shave?”
“I don’t grow hair, so don’t need to.”
Lylla barked a laugh. Kreel turned to see her slide her hand under her cowl to fetch a lock of her scarlet hair. When she pulled it out, it had grown past her shoulder. “Consider yourself lucky, Sergeant.” She laughed again, a giggle and a growl all rolled into one.
A bead of sweat dripped under his helmet. He’d never been good with intimacy-- it got you and them killed. But he knew flirting when he saw it. She’s testing you, he growled in his head. Don’t kriff this up.
She pinched a tiny frown as she examined the lock. “Hmm. Doesn’t usually grow this fast.”
“Must be this planet,” he grunted, shifting again in his saddle, looking off at the rusted cliffs to his right. “Like you said, it’s affecting us.” He cracked his neck with a jerk. “It’s affecting me.”.
"You are referring to your sexual attraction to me, which has only intensified since we landed," Lylla stated bluntly. Kreel snapped his head back to her and went completely stiff. Her smirk widened into a grin. “You’re not exactly subtle about it, Sergeant.”
Kreel felt like a Gundark just kicked him in the chest. “Baroness...” A rush of breath came from his vocoder as he looked away. His heart pounded in his ears.
“It’s the planet, like you said. I’m not offended.” But then, Lylla laughed again. And tossed a wave of her hand. “Besides, I am fully aware of how beautiful I am.” The grin faded as her eyes grew dark. “It’s what kept me alive for so long.”
“No. You’re different,” Kreel blurted quietly. “Saw a lot of pleasure slaves, both on Chagar IX and Nar Shaddaa. They were beautiful too. Never met one who made it past the age of twenty-five.” Lylla slit her eyes into an icy glare. He shook his head. “What I mean is… they weren’t smart like you. They never learned how to play the game to survive. They never got good at what they were. That’s how you come out alive. That’s why you survived the skin trade, and I survived the fighting pits.”
Lylla softened her hard stare on the Sergeant. “We have much in common, don’t we? We both got good. For you it was killing, for me it was kriffing.”
Lylla just laughed again, quietly and genuinely. But Kreel stiffened to attention in his saddle, facing stoically forward. “Baroness, you are my commander and will someday be my Empress. I beg your forgiveness.” He took a deep breath. “When you inform Lord Vader, I will accept my punishment.”
Lylla scoffed, striking a look of mild incredulity. “I told you Sergeant, this conversation is completely confidential. I won’t tell Lord Vader a thing.” But then all traces of girlish seduction hardened into a dangerous glare under her cowl. “Unless, of course, you give me reason to.”
She needn’t say more. That look told him everything. I am the Dragon. I am beyond anything you could ever dream to have. I am untouchable.
Drawing his huge shoulders back, Kreel reached into the pouch on his belt and pulled out his lightsaber. He turned the butt toward Lylla. “If I even look at you wrong from here on out,” he said, his voice low and severe, “You run this through my chest.” He held it out to her. “I will never betray you that way, Baroness Sa’thraxxx. I swear this to you.”
Lylla drew back in her saddle, eyes wide, lips dropped open. A truth webbed across her mind, one that until this moment was merely a dream for victory, an abstract prize that could still be years away. But here it was, now and very real, astride a beast and offering her his saber.
A warrior swearing fealty to a queen.
Moments passed before Lylla found her breath again and collected herself into a very practiced composure. “Well then, I’m glad we have an understanding.” She cleared her throat, irritated at its sudden dehydration. She grasped her canteen once again and brought it to her lips. Now it was her avoiding his gaze. “You may put that away now. I don’t even know how to turn it on.”
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Ending & Thoughts: The Witness
I was pretty excited for this drama. And you might think I’m crazy since a lot of people thought airing this drama is a waste of a slot. And I get it they could’ve aired bigger dramas. Chances are TVB only aired it so Him Law could get a Best Actor Nomination which they need to fill out the quota for it. Or else it’s gonna end up being saturated with supporting actors from Come Home Love again like last year. But the premise of it is interesting! Instead of a Prince Charming protecting the gorgeous female witness (like all witness protection type dramas). We get a down on the luck rookie cop protecting a straight forward OCD guy. It’s a cute twist to it and the start of bromance.
Plot
Ah Kei (Him Law) saves Ah Fan (Willie Wai) after he witnesses a murder. Ah Fan is placed in witness protection program but because of his strange personality that makes it hard to trust others he wouldn’t allow anyone but Ah Kei who saved his life to protect him. Ah Kei ends up living with Ah Fan to protect him. That’s how he gets entangled with Chris (Kelly Cheung) and end up falling in love. Ah Kei’s older sister Miss Ko (Pinky Cheung) gets involved by falling for Ah Fan. The main case of this drama is finding Ah Fans missing memories from years ago which is also connected with Ah Kei’s fathers death.
The drama is fun to watch. The acting was great from everyone. Kelly is still a bit stiff and has a slight accent but she was still super enjoyable to watch. But the storyline started to falter a bit. It got plagued with annoying side characters and the main leads themselves are dumbed down when the story started focusing more on the mystery behind the fathers death.
- Annoying character #1 belongs to Kam Chi Sing (King Lam). I know every drama there has to be a rival. But boy, he’s just so annoying. All he cared about was getting a promotion. And always arguing with Ah Kei cause he’s such a proud guy that he’s always undermining him. Always getting in the way for Ah Kei to solve cases and he would bring up Ah Kei’s dead father just to rile him up. I’m so glad that even his followers under him stopped listening to him. That was such a good moment for him to realize everyone is tired of his shit and moved on from him. He was despicable from beginning to end. There was no redemption from him. His smirk is downright cocky.
- Annoying character #2 goes to Ah Kei’s ex-girlfriend Yuki (Sammi Cheung). She’s always spending her time shopping which is how she always racks up her credit card debt. In which she decides to borrow money to pay it off. It causes loan sharks to chase after her & always needing Ah Kei’s help to solve it. Her character is infuriating. She lives with Ah Kei rent free, eats for free & has been with him for 10 years. Yet she goes and cheats on him. And when she gets caught she makes up a lie to get him to believe her. In the end when Ah Kei finds out the truth she blames him. WTH. She blames him for not caring about her enough & how she doesn’t defend her when her sister calls her out on things. Nevermind the fact that he’s always running around scraping for money to pay off your debt. Nevermind how he’s always treated you well despite your spending habits. It’s HIS FAULT that she ended up cheating. It’s disturbing that while she’s cheating she’s finding all these ways to hide it while still living with him. And when she witnessed something that could save Ah Fan from wrongly getting arrested she chooses to ignore it so she can continue her affair. Ugh. I hate cheaters especially ones that feign innocent and blames the other partner. Like own up to your wrong doings.
- Annoying character #3 is given to Yip Cheung Lok (Lau Kong). He’s always flip flopping on his emotions. Years ago he finds out his son Gordon (Tsui Wing) was involved with a kidnapping- murder case. He decides to protect him by sending him to America. And years later when he finds out his son has done more horrible things like committing more murders. At first he’s like “I’m gonna call the cops, you’re going to jail” and then the next minute he shuts his mouth to protect his son. He’s always apologizing and trying to “fix” things which just made things worse. Instead of leaving Chun Po (Helen Ma) alone he instead tricks her to live with them. This is the reason why she died cause she kept spouting details about what happened in the past to Gordon. When he realized all the wrong doings of his son. He does nothing to stop it. I get it he’s sick in bed. But he was able to leave and walk. His son isn’t watching him 24/7. He could have easily picked up the phone and call Ah Fan to warn him about Gordon. He didn’t even have to call the cops to get Gordon arrested. The bare minimum for him to do would be at least try to stop Gordon from taking over Ah Fans fathers company. But he did nothing. In the end he died because his own son attacked him & basically left him to die. Sad but fitting end for him considering he’s the one that let his son spiral this out of control. Gordon committing the first crime could be a mistake, but committing a second and third? That’s no longer a mistake but a choice.
The Love Triangle
Pretty annoying. Chris and Ah Kei has cute chemistry. And I really like how it developed they saw each other in a different light. I was disappointed that they dragged out the triangle though. Ah Kei bothered me with how he handled Yuki. I understand that you dated Yuki for 10 years so it’s hard for him to just abandon her. But really? Letting Yuki live with you while dating Chris? Anyone would be pissed. Chris has the right to get mad. Yuki & Ah Kei didn’t have a amicable breakup she cheated and threw a fit about how she’s right and he’s wrong. The next time they saw each other she slaps Ah Kei believing he assaulted her new boyfriend. Yuki girl. You dated Ah Kei for 10 years and you’d rather believe your new boy toy then the guy that stood by you all these years? This is an example of why Ah Kei doesn’t need to go that far to help Yuki. Ah Kei is so oblivious to how Yuki is trying to break apart his relationship with Chris. She sabotaged almost all their dates. I thought Yuki would redeem herself wholly once she realized how much Ah Kei loved Chris but instead she runs to find a Chris & demands her to leave him and stop stringing him along. Then they try to redeem Yuki by having her do the bare minimum to help Chris find Ah Kei. In the end they become good friends which I find unnecessary. I rather have it end with them bumping into each other & wishing each other well. Yuki has made one too many mistakes to earn the right to stay in their lives.
The Randomness
Apart from the annoying characters & love triangle. The character development of Ah Fan went downhill. Ah Fan goes through three amnesiac phases. And the first two involved him forgetting what happened during specific time periods. The third one, he forgets his sister and his friends including Ah Kei & Miss Ko. Now at first it was endearing of him trying to re-learn his past but then it turns awful when he gets used by Gordon. Which I don’t understand. Miss Ko lies to him about her being his fiancé & his sister went along with it. This gets him mad that they lied to him & he goes to live with Gordon. He wouldn’t even listen to their explanations. When Chris tells him that he never dated Gordon he refused to believe her & thought she was playing Gordon with Ah Kei. It was very hard to watch from here on. Seeing him turned into someone different. By that I meant he was no longer the smart thinker he once was. No matter what happens Chris is your sister. Your only blood relative left & yet he chooses to believe Gordon? Ignoring the fact he no longer cares or trusts Chris. He should at least sympathize the fact that this company that he chose to sign over to Gordon was the last of his fathers hardwork. Even if Ah Fan doesn’t want to be involved with the company, he could’ve passed it on to Chris his blood sister. And I’m just so confused and find it random. Before he lost his memories he doted and loved his sister, always wanting to protect her. He even moved out of their house to live with Ah Kei to protect his sister from getting hurt. They had a tight bond. Even if he loses his memories wouldn’t the familiar feeling stay? The way he tells Chris that he chooses to trust & picks Gordon over her was so heartbreaking. I refuse to believe Ah Fan would ever do that memory loss or not. Also Ah Fan is incredibly smart. He’s able to recognize smells, footsteps and even sound of voices. He’s also able to tell if someone is lying at times. You want me to believe all this time he stayed with Gordon he didn’t find anything suspicious with Gordon & his father? He lost his memory, not his brain. Gordon literally hasn’t even done anything ground breaking for Ah Fan to trust him so deeply. I was also convinced that Ah Fan was faking amnesia to get close to Gordon to build a case on him. But turns out he was just dumb & easily fooled. Even at the very end it caused him getting his memory back for him to finally realize Gordon is evil. Ah Fan went way out of character after the amnesia.
Final Thoughts
I don’t know how I feel about whether or not I’d re-watch. The beginning and middle was fun and hilarious. I think it would be better if you watch it solely for the comedic side that involved friendship, sibling bond & relationships. If you want to watch it for the crime aspect you’d be disappointed. As for this drama they dumbed down the heroes to drag on the cases to fit the 20 episode quota. They could’ve written more cases instead of dragging the three cases but I guess the writer got lazy. The writer chose to prolong it instead of writing a fresh case. The final case involving the mystery of the parents death was dragged on way too long. Ah Kei didn’t even realize Gordon killed them until the very end. He just believed Gordon is involved but not the mastermind. Also I’m shocked that Gordon would end up being such a hardcore villian. In the beginning he was just another spoiled rich boy. I always thought he made mistakes because he was pampered & wanted more money. The fact Gordon killed years ago and went on to kill more people & even offed his own father was something I didn’t expect happening. Especially since this is supposed to be considered a light comedic cop drama, I never thought it would go as far as family killing. I also hoped that there would be more bromance between Ah Kei & Ah Fan. I was sorely disappointed that their interactions afterwards just involved him pressuring Ah Fan to regain his memory instead of an actual friend bonding LOL. All in all it was a good watch. Willie Wai gave an impressive & eye catching portrayal. Honestly if we’re talking about TV King, Willie should win. He has always been a solid actor & his performance was great and he recieved a lot of praises. He didn’t come off as annoying with his OCD & strange personality. Despite his character going off the walls in the later episodes he still acted very well. Unfortunately the drama got sub par ratings so him winning is very unlikely. Also along with the fact TVB has no plans on promoting him. (He only got this role cause TVB literally ran out of older actors). But my vote goes to Willie to win nonetheless. I guess I’d probably re-watch the beginning again and just skip the unnecessary amnesia arc.
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Nick Crompton x Hot Dog Man smut
⚠️THIS STORY IS 100% A JOKE⚠️
TRIGGER WARNING: If you are retarded enough to find Jake Paul or any member of Team 10 entertaining and you ACTUALLY enjoy their content, I suggest you click off right the fuck now, we don't need any triggered 12 year olds, we are triggered enough ourselves.
This story contains mature content, and mentions of rape (for like one sentence). Please do not read this if you are under the age of 11 or have not yet learned about The Birds & The Bees. We also make numerous jokes about Nick Crompton's weight.
Now with that out of the way,
Let's get on with this shit show.
HDM= Hot Dog Man
Omniscient POV
The Team 10™ house was bustling with all the members vlogging and such. Nick Crompton sat in the office, reading an e-mail from a friend who wanted to visit. After he finished reading it, Nick got off his fat ass and waddled into the living room. There he found Jake Paul spread eagle on the couch, taking a break from his latest prank video (taxing work, honestly). Nick knew he had to ask him if the Snapchat king himself, the Hot Dog Man, could come visit. It was the Team 10™ house rules and if he broke any of them Jake would kick his fat ass out.
"He-Hey lad. Can I invite over, um, a-a friend?" Nick asked in his thicc British accent.
"What kind of 'friend', fat King George?" Jake chuckled.
Oh how Nick hated when Jake's greasy Ohio ass called him that. Fucking cunt.
"Well mate, he's a sensation on Snapchat. We could get a lot of views and advertisements if we collab with him while he visits."
Jake thought about it for a moment. "Well fine Britty Titty. He must collab with us or else you will be kicked out of Team 10™". God he's a fucking dickhead
Nick still put on a fake ass smile. "Thank you chap! This collab will be litty, trust me!".
Nick was filled with excitement. He couldn't wait for his first Grindr hookup, but he couldn't let Jake know. He already had a threesome with the Martinez Twins, and oh boy those pollas de españa were as thicc as Cristiano Ronaldo's thighs, and if Jake wasn't fucking yet another bitch in the other room at the time, all three of them would have been deported.
Nick had spent the last hour preparing his room for HDM's visit. He made sure to have xxx(tentacion)L condoms and mustard flavored lube in his drawer next to his bed. He already prepped his richard. The juicy Snapchat king would be arriving at 8 pm and him and Team 10™ would be collabing the next day; if Nick's ass could withstand it, that is.
Nick hoped the neighbors wouldn't call the cops on them during this collab, he wanted to make a good impression on HDM.
~~
(Time skip brought to you by the Martinez Twins thicc pollas.)
~~
Jake called Nick from the kitchen, saying that the door rung and it was for him. Oh god save me Queen Elizabeth. Nick eagerly jumped out of bed (after many attempts), quickly wiping the jizz on his hands against Jake's door handle when he walked by his room. Take that you Ohio. Fucking. CUNT.
Nick stomped down the stairs and made his way to the front door, and saw a young girl who was around 15 and probably didn't consent to what Jake Paul was going to do to her probably tight yet virgin pussy.
Probably.
But then he saw him.
He saw that thicc juicy meat encased in that tight ass bun.
The Hot Dog Man.
This part includes mature content. Proceed with caution
HDM calmly strode into the Team 10™ house and greeted the overweight Brit, casually brushing his hand against Nick's outer thigh when he walked by. He then walked over to Jake, who was already getting up on his new bitch.
"FUCKK OH BABY YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ALISSA. GIVE ME HEAD NOW UNDERAGE OHIO SEX SLAVE! THAT PUSSY SOOOOO TIGHT!"
Nick was embarrassed by Jake's extreme act of PDA (Me at school everyday tbh.) and turned over to HDM. "Don't worry, he always does this. His dick is really small (like the authors of this shit's will to live), and he cums in like 6 seconds."
HDM chuckled,
"Just like his vines."
After the two settled down from their fit of laughter, HDM started to become curious and asked, "Wait a minute, how do you know that? How do you know his dick is small and he cums in 6 seconds?" he paused, grasping Nick's greasy and supersized fish n chips. Nick was sHooK, and his fish went flying. Holy Cow! The Queen is raising my mEmBEr.
Nick gave HDM a Team 10™ house tour, and even showed him (yO iT'S) Tessa Brooks hardcore masturbating to RiceGum and Alissa Violet's "It's Every Night, Sis" (Let's be real, that was a bop). Ah, how he loved his second yet nightmare of a home.
~~
('Notha time skip brought to you by those crispy fish 'n' chips that Nick shoves down his gullet, and occasionally asshole)
~~
Nick could notice HDM getting impatient. His relish flaps were so dry and crispy. Oh no I have to get them moist and wet.
"I have the 'equipment' set for our 'collab'." Nick casually told him. HDM gave him a smirk that made Nick's piener-wiener even more hard than it already was. With this, Nick dragged HDM to his room.
"Don't worry Niqqi, i brought some extra equipment" HDM said, WHIPping out several ropes, multiple types of gags and WHIPs, and bondage harnesses.
"These may be a bit small for you big boy". He said, taking out the harness.
HDM then reached over to Nick's bedside drawer to look for some lube. He didn't want to hurt him because his ass was probably really tight with all that fat surrounding it.
But once HDM opened the drawer, he was met with a distasteful surprise.
HDM had gone from 💯 to OVER NEIN THOUSAAAAND
(I'm so sorry.)
"FUCKING MUSTARD? DADDY IS GOING TO FUCK YOU WITHOUT LUBE YOU FAT BRITISH FUCK!"
HDM didn't even care about the other Team 10™ members hearing him. He was fucking pissed at Nick.
Nick's face filled with dread. I don't want my pooper to die! But it was far too late.
"Get on that pool table you fucking Wale" HDM said, getting out a ball gag and a bondage harness.
Nick obeyed his new master. I must please his mEmBEr
"Now there Niqqi, daddy will only shove his Ball Park™ mEmBEr into your filthy crumpet asshole if you do as I say and don't cum too early."
Nick obeyed, stripping all his clothes, letting his fat greasy rolls free. He climbed up on the pool table, stomach and dick down, and made a slight crack on the side of the table.
"Now there Niqqi boy, do you have a cock ring lying around?"
Nick shOOk his head. "Ple-please don't WHIP me daddy. Th-there is a-a stale o-o-onion ring (OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, THEY HAVE LAYERS) that's t-triple fried i-in fish 'n' chip batter. It will keep that hard mEmBEr of yours nice and erect."
"Now you fat fuck, you aren't getting my mEmBEr this easy. One WHIP for you for being a naughty boy."
Nick tried to scream for his life, but HDM was one step ahead of him. He had already secured the ball gag in his big gullet. HDM also secured the bondage harness across the brits flaps and tied a thicc piece of rope that attached the harness to the pool table.
"Resist you fat fucking whore" HDM firmly said, getting his finest leather whip and whipping the brit's asscheeks. They jiggled. Nick's screech was muted by the gag.
~
Nick's screams were slowly becoming moans, and Nick awaited every single WHIPcrack against his bum. Obviously HDM could see him enjoying this, but it is all about his own pleasure first. After another ten minutes, HDM removed the gag from Nick's mouth and untied the rope.
"Flip on your greasy back you fucking teabag. It's daddy's turn to feel the pleasure."
Nick did as told, and allowed his fat flaps to bounce back on the table. HDM tied the rope back on , exposing Nick's hard mEmBEr. HDM climbed on top of Nick's literal pile of fat , almost like an animal. He turned around in an almost 69 position and had his own beefy and ketchupy cock dangling in front of Nick's literal black hole of a mouth.
"You succ it until I tell you to not. If you make daddy cum too early, daddy won't fuck you. If you reject daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you. If you gag in response to daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you."
Nick understood, and HDM slowly lowered his mEmBEr into his mouth, almost like a fisherman lowering his fishing pole into a murky ass lake full of fish with mercury poisoning. Nick savored HDM's mEmBEr, licking all around and taking more into his gullet. He even succed so far down, he could taste the stale onion ring at the base mixed with the salty pre-cum and loose pubic hair. Oh I LOVE onion rings.
But HDM wasn't satisfied. Yes, his member was being served to Nick like a bucket of Ohio Fried Chicken™, but he felt Nick wasn't trying hard enough for him. HDM slowly reached his hand to Nick's own stiff mEmBEr, and gave them a few violent and robust tugs. Nick gave a soft moan, and started to lick and succ faster and faster. He pulled his head up to get more and more of HDM's juicy as fuck mEmBEr, which was glazed like an artery-clogging doughnut in pre-cum, and HDM let go of his. He pushed more and more of his meat into Nick's fat fucking gullet, which Nick gladly sluurped up. I love pre-cum and onion rings.
HDM reached over to his bag, which was hung up against the side of the pool table, and grabbed a spiked collar and a huge penis gag, tying the mEmBEr gag to the spiked collar.
"If you resist, you will choke little Niqqi. Now before you take this mEmBEr in, what do you say little fat as fuck bitch?"
Nick hesitated.
"Mah-My coc-collar is po-poppin".
HDM violently strapped the Cock gag into Nick's mouth, and grabbed the mustard lube. He threw it on the floor in disgust. He then reached his hand up to stimulate his little meatball nipples until a stream of fresh ketchup flowed down his hard meaty body. He collected a glop onto his hand and rubbed his cartoon fingers, making them gooey and moist. He shoved his fingers, one by one, into Nick's tight asshole. Nick's flaps, yet strapped down to the table, gave a violent bounce after every thrust. Just like playtime at home.
Nick was very shocked about how long HDM could last. He had been savoring his mEmBEr like a lollipop for over 10 minutes, and HDM only heavily moaned a few times.
"Alright Niqqi, succ me until I almost cum. If daddy cums, daddy won't fuck you, remember? If Niqqi does a good job, daddy may fuck you."
Nick wanted that fucc. He began to consume the mEmBEr as if it were an extra large slurpee from that American fat convenience store 7-11. HDM started to moaaaan.
"SUCC ME HARDER YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK."
The obese Brit followed HDM's command and swallowed more of his foot-long™ of a mEmBEr down his gullet. Once HDM's hit the back of Nick's throat, he gagged. This made HDM more angry than he already was at the fact that Nick's fat ass only had mustard lube.
"DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING GAG, YOU WHORE?"
HDM started to vigorously thrust into
Nick's mouth, and every time Nick screamed in protest, HDM only went harder
I'm not going to be able to fucking speak tomorrow. Nick thought. This was all too much for him and he was having trouble breathing. Just as he let out another scream that was muffled by HDM's juicy mEmBEr, HDM shoved his mEmBEr all the way into Nick's mouth. He let out an extremely loud moan and busted a fat nUT into the back of Nick's throat. "Swallow all of it." HDM ordered. "Shouldn't be too hard; all you do is eat". Nick followed his command and swallowed all of HDM's thicc and creamy load, and loved the salty yet sweet taste it brought.
"mMM. Tastes so good, Daddy."
As Nick thought the two of them were done and tried to get up, he was met with a forceful push that sent him right back on his greasy back. "Oh we ain't fucking done yet. I still have to fuck your ass; I didn't prepare you for nothing." HDM said with a slight smirk on his face.
Nick gulped. "Y-yes daddy. Of c-c-course."
The sight alone of Nick Crompton's round face red and covered in his own spit made HDM become hard yet again. He even saw a bit of his fresh jizz along Nick's fat fucking lips. HDM got his hands which were pink from the cum and ketchup mixture, and flipped Nick's fat body over, and analyzed his asshole. He adjusted the onion ring on his hard and bulbous mEmBEr to make it even harder.
(Oh boy here it comes.)
Without hesitation, HDM violently thrusted his mEmBEr into Nick's entrance with a profusely loud moan. This caused the Brit to let out a cry of pain and pleasure. "Ooh you're so fucking tight, it almost didn't fit". Nick moaned in response as HDM kept viciously thrusting in and out of Nick's black hole.
~
For five minutes, Nick's ass had been on fire. He thought it would've been nice if HDM could've at least given him a warning before he went full throttle on him. But after those five minutes, oh boy was Nick having the time of his life. Every single move HDM made inside him made Nick scream in pleasure; which he could now do freely without the gag in his mouth.
After another five minutes, Nick felt this shock go through him that he had never felt before. This caused him to let out probably the loudest sound he had ever made in his life. "OOOOOH FUCK DADDY KEEP FUCKING ME LIKE THAT!!".
HDM then angrily slapped Nick's fat ass and shouted "DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING SPEAK?"
HDM then abruptly pulled out of Nick, which caused him to whine in protest. "I'm sorry daddy, it just felt so good". HDM sighed "Alright, but if you pull that shit I'm leaving this fucking place".
He then continued what he had started, and Nick could feel the wrinkles of HDM's mEmBEr brushing up against his anal walls. It took a few minutes for HDM to reach that special spot again. Once he did, Nick started screaming again. He had never felt this kind of pleasure before, not even when he had the threesome with the Martinez Twins.
~~
(Time skip brought to you by HDM's fat nUT)
~~
After around another 10 minutes of HDM pleasuring Nick Crompton with his juicy foot-long™ mEmBEr, HDM was getting close to expiring, and Nick could sense it.
"The Big thicc daddy is getting close to releasing the 2nd cum, isn't he."
HDM didn't have the energy to yell at Nick again, instead he was overcome by a wave of ecstasy.
"SAY MY NAME, NICK. SAY MY BLOODY FUCKING NAME"
"DA-DADDY, DADDDY DA-DADDY".
With one final thrust, HDM exploded deep inside of Nick's asshole, Nick cumming all over his stomach and the floor. Oops, I'll have to clean that up later. He pulled out and they both expired.
"Oh you are such a nasty fucking fat ass bitch"
"I know daddy"
The two lovers were fast asleep on each other, HDM's ketchup mixing with Nick's stomach grease. All of the sudden, Jake Paul and his bitch burst in, followed by all the members of Team 10™
"I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW YOU WEREN'T INTO PEOPLE. YOU ONLY LOVE FOOD YOU FUCKING FAT ASS LITTLE BRITISH CRUMPET CUNT",
Jake screamed.
"¿Qué pasa con nuestras pollas españolas?"
Emilio asked.
"¿No fuimos suficientes para ti, gordo culo?" Ivan sneered
"WHY DIDN'T YOU RECORD IT FOR ME TO MASTURBATE TO?", Tessa, who was the angriest of all, exclaimed.
"I SWEAR TO GOD WHY DID I MARRY YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Chance shouted.
~
All of the sudden, Nick wOkE up sporadically and sat up, waking HDM in the process. "What the actual fuck are you doing?" HDM asked, quite annoyed that he was woken up from his deep sleep. "Oh sorry, chap. I had a really bad dream that all the Team 10™ memebers walked in on us".
"Oh well, we might as get up, it's almost 9:00am".
Nick reached over to his bedside table and looked at his phone. Oh shit he's right. We have to be down by 10 or I'll be kicked out of Team 10™.
Nick took a breath before he would start his long journey of getting out of bed. Once he tried to get up, he felt the most excruciating pain he had ever felt before in his nether regions. HDM saw his grimace and chortled. "Did daddy do you too hard last night?". "YEA-oWw!" Nick abruptly stopped himself from what he was about to say. "Oww, my fucking throat hurts Jesus Christ". "Don't speak then." HDM said. Nick nodded in agreement.
After twice as many attempts it takes to get out of bed on a normal day, Nick waddled over to get some fresh clothes from his wardrobe. Once he got his way-too-tight clothing on, Nick stomped his way down the stairs to the living room yet again; not even worrying about what HDM was doing.
~
"YoOOOO Nick, I got a surprise for you!" Chance shouted at Nick with a eager smile on his face. Oh for fucks sake.
"Wöt is it mate? A bitch that's more tolerable than Tessa?" He banted back.
"hAha, no. It's much better than that."
"Then wöt is it mate, I have to go see the Ohio cu- I mean Jake so we can start our collab with Hot Dog Man."
"Okay, I know it's not food, but it's-!"
All of the sudden Chance pulled out a taser and put it right near Nick Crompton's face and turned it on. Nick shouted with utmost fear. "AH WHAT THE FUCK YOU OHIO CRACKER?!!"
Chance just screeched in response while the other Team 10™ members jumped into the living room; some with cameras, some with more tasers which frightened Nick even more.
"LMAO YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE!!" Anthony yelled putting the camera in Nick's face.
"Good job, Hubby. You got him real good." Tessa said to Chance with her annoying southern accent.
"Alright, Alright. Let's settle down now, we have to start filming our collab with Hot Dog Man." Jake addressed to the rambunctious 20-year-olds. For once he's actually said something I agree with.
~~
(Time skip brought to you by Jake Paul's quality content)
~~
After Chance and Emilio set up the equipment for the video, the rest of the Team 10™ members and HDM sat down outside to start filming the video. They would be filming a "Truth or Dare" and it would be going on Jake's channel, of course. Nick hoped the Team 10™ wouldn't get too rowdy, as the neighbors would call the cops on them again.
"This should be fun, shouldn't it?" HDM asked Nick, slapping a hand on his lower back; knowing it would cause Nick a great pain. He winced. "Y-yeah."
~
When Tessa was about to pull out her second dare, all the Team 10™ members all turned their heads to the loud knock that could be heard from the fence followed by a loud voice bellowing,
"HEY, YOU FUCKERS. DO YOU MIND SHUTTING THE FUCK UP FOR ONE GODDAMN DAY. SOME OF US HAVE NORMAL LIVES AND YOU GUYS ARE PISSING US THE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR CHILDISH SCREECHES!"
"Oh fuck off!" Nick replied back, and they all laughed and continued on with the video. HDM smiled at him.
The fucking end
I am sincerely sorry if you read this thing all the way through. Welp, that's all folks.
#badsmut#jake paul#logan paul#nick crompton#memes#hotdogman#hot dog man#food#team 10#tessa brooks#alissa violet#rice gum#leafyishere#sjw#gay#lgbt#bodypositivity#communism#capitalism#sad#depressed#trigger#safespace#feminism#martinez twins#boi#emoji movie#the long haul#not my rodrick#mood
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Tales of the Heart, Ch. 15 - Now I Got My A’s and Z’s
by essie-essex
for citywatchoverseer
City Watch Guard
“He taught himself how to read.”
There oh... uh... once was a cat named Ollie who lived in a co-cozy ho-hose... hoss... a house, a cozy house, with his Mama, Papa, Bro-Bruh-Brother, and... Sister. But Ollie was no oh-or-di-na-ry cat. He was very c-curious and... oh-often got into tr... tr... trou-ble.
Un... One cold w-win-ter eh... ehven... even... e-ven-ing, it beg-an to s-snow...
...and s-snow, and snow, and SNOW. Haha.
“Oh, boy!” said Ollie. “My f-first w-win-ter!”
Ollie le-leapt on-to the... the, uh... the w-win-dow-sill, his eye-eyes fo-fol-low-ing the stra-strange white dots as they flo-a... flo-floated to the ground. He put his paws up to the cold gla-glass, rai... rais... rais-ing himself up on his two hi-hind legs to get a bet-better look. Brother and Sister played ou-out-side, thro-throwing hand... fuls of white po-po-pow-powder at each other, their ch... cheeek... cheeks and noses red and ro-round. Ollie's tail swis... swis-sh... swished with, oh boy, ex... exit... exit-me-excitement as he watched them.
“How I would love to play in the snow,” Ollie said, his eyes filled with de-des-desire. “I would buh... buh... bur... burr-ow under it oo... uh-until I found the per-fect spot, warm and dark.”
The cat til-tilt-tilted his head back, pee-king at the door. Papa sat in his big chair reading a book, and Ollie could hear Mama in the kit-kitchen.
Surely, they would not not-notice...
Ollie ju-jumped to the gro-ground and cro... croch... croached... no, crouched, he crouched low, ti-tip-tip-toe-ing his way to the front door where the ch-child-ren would be re... ret-returning at any mo-ment, and when they open-opened the door, he would spr... sprin... sprint out into the snow and bur-bury himself in it before they could catch him.
He heard fa-faint la... lau... log... log-ha... lag... la... laugh-laughter as the ch-children ne-nea-neared the door and his ears per... perk... perked as he heard moo... muh... muffleh... muffle... muffled sto-stomp-ing.
“Ready... Ready...” he said to himself. He dar-dared not move. It was almost time.
The door click-clicked as one of the children turned the dork-door-doorknob, the door crack-ing open a mom-moment later. Ollie star-star-ted to change-charge but stopped sud-den-ly as the cold breeze cau... caused his skin to shiv-shiver. The children enter-ed the house, brus-brushing white powder from their coats.
“The door will close soon,” Ollie said. “This is my last chance!”
He took a deep breath, cr-crouched low, and chan-charged outside.
I let my arm drop, still holdin' the open book between my fingers, and sigh.
When I got this book from the library, the lady told me that this was for kids, but Ollie the Cat's First Winter by T.J. Brownstone ain't no easy reader. I can feel myself gettin' tired, and my head kinda hurts.
I probably shouldn't be readin' durin' my shift, but it can get real borin' just standin' here waitin' for somethin' to happen. It's kinda rainy today, so the market ain't too crowded, so that means no fights over the last fresh fish to break up, no youngsters stealin' sweets to chase after, and no pretty ladies to holler at. Nope, nothin' to do but just stare at the sky... or read if you know how.
I hear laughter from in front of me and spot two boys in worn clothes whisperin' to each other. I guess the rain didn't keep everyone away. They stop, the larger one takin' a few steps towards me.
“Hey, aren't you reading Ollie the Cat?” The boy looks up at me with tight lips and somethin' that ain't just innocent curiosity hidden behind his eyes.
“Yeah, what about it?” I say, pullin' my shoulders back. “Shouldn't you kids be at home anyways?”
“It's a free city,” the boy says. “We're just walking home from school.”
“Yeah, well, keep walkin'. I gotta job to do,” I tell him.
“You didn't look like you were doing your job. You looked like you were reading an Ollie the Cat book.” The little brat smirks.
“Well, you kids just don't know any better. Now, scram.”
The boy snorts, his mouth tight and his face red. He looks back at the other, who has the same expression on his face, like he thinks somethin's funny.
“That's a kids' book,” the boy says. “Like for babies. I read all the Ollie the Cat books when I was nine.” He turns to look at his friend behind him, who giggles.
“Yeah,” says the smaller boy. “Me too. Isn't that the one where Ollie goes outside in the winter and freezes--”
“Hey!” I scream. “Don't give it away! I ain't read the whole thing yet!”
The boys jump at the sound of my voice, but pretty soon they ain't scared no more and start laughin'.
“Wow, City Watch Guards really are dumb!” The taller boy says. His little friend giggles along with him, but I'm about done with their shit.
I draw my sword and lunge towards 'em, like I'm about to attack.
“Yeah, keep laughin' when you're in damn pieces on the ground!”
The boys scream, scurryin' away like rats, and I watch until they're out of sight, takin' a deep breath to calm myself.
“It's okay, Murray,” I say. “They're just a bunch of spoiled kids.”
That's right. They're a bunch of spoiled schoolboys. Not everyone had the money to go to school when they was kids.
I grew up during the Morley Insurrection, when spyin' on your neighbor, makin' sure they wasn't helpin' the Morlish (or the “Morleyans” as we was s'posed to call 'em, just to piss 'em off), or that, stars forbid, they was Minnows themselves, was much more important than goin' to school or doin' any kinda work that wasn't helpin' the Empire win against the rebels.
There was plenty of jobs with the war on, and the factory fatcats was glad to get their hands on any children, so they could work 'em hard. An eighteen-hour workday, each and every day, is what I remember from my childhood. But there was bread to eat and bunks to sleep in. Sure, they was dirty, but they was indoors. I sent my pay home to my parents so they could take care of my sisters and brothers who was too young to work.
So, no, I didn't have no time to read like the little brats these days, but that don't make 'em better than me. Hell, I'm better than them, since I learned how to read all on my own. That's right, all by myself. No one helped me learn my letters.
Now that I know how to read, though, there's plenty around to practice with. It's crazy how many signs they got posted 'round the city, and there's even more than usual in the marketplace with words like “FRESH FISH” “HOMEMADE SOAP” “GARDEN VEGETABLES” “RARE FRUITS” and “BAKERY”. I tried to read them all when I first started learnin' my letters, but now those signs are so easy to read, I can understand 'em all in just a second or two.
I've learned a lot from readin' posters on the walls and such, too. Like the recruitment ads for the City Watch say guards are s'posed to make a whole four coins a day, and Officers make six coins. I ain't never seen more than three coins in a day, and lately they've been givin' me just two. I told this to the others so maybe we could get together and ask for our real pay, but they just told me to quit bein' so smart.
“You read it on a poster?” Jackson was the first one to speak when I told the boys about our pay.
“Yeah, we're s'posed to be gettin' four whole coins a day,” I 'member foldin' my arms and leanin' against my bunk, thinkin' I was somethin'. Like I was gonna start some kinda movement, leadin' all the guards in the Watch through the streets holdin' up signs. But that attitude didn't last for long.
“I think he's just makin' that up,” another one of the guards said from across the room. “You can't even read anyways.”
“I learned,” I said. “Well, I'm learnin', but the poster really does say that. There's one right next door. Just come with me, and--”
“You tryin' to get us fired, Murray? Quit bein' so smart.” Jackson turned toward the door. “Now, I'm gonna go steal me some food, and then I know a certain lady who's waitin' for these two coins in my pouch. You all comin'?”
The others followed Jackson, leavin' me alone. Just a year ago, I never would'a passed up a night with a girl, but sometimes a man just wants somethin' more.
I'd thought that by learnin' to read that maybe I'd feel better about myself or the world or somethin' like that, but I don't know. Now instead of others makin' fun of me for bein' dumb, my own fellow guards make fun of me for bein' too smart.
But now that I can read faster, I'm startin' to get why there's people that actually like to read. Some books are really interestin'.
My shift ends, and I head back to the bunks while the others go for a drink.
I wish that boy from earlier today hadn't told me what would happen to Ollie the Cat. So, he freezes to death? I take the book out of my bag, flippin' through it and lookin' at the pictures. On one page, I can see Ollie racin' out the front door into the snow. I turn the page and see a picture of a sad little cat, all curled up in a ball, with icicles hangin' from its fur.
Poor Ollie.
But the book's not over. There's more. I turn the page and gasp. Papa carries Ollie into the house. He's alive!
I turn the page again. Now he's in front of the fireplace, and on the next page, he's smilin' and warm, and on the next—wait.
I slam the book shut.
No, I gotta read it. I can't just look at the pictures.
Cold and wet, Ollie had no energ-energy to run from Papa and, in-stead, curl-ed... curled up in his arms, shiv-shivering v-vio-vio-lent-ly. He cried when Papa tried to put him down, hanging on tight to his clothes with his sharp claws. Fin-finally, Papa man-aged... managed to set Ollie on the floor, where Sister and Brother waited for him with two flu-ffy to-wels. They dried him off as well as they could, and handed him to Mama, who w-wrap-ped... wrapped him in a soft blan... blanket.
“Let's put you some-place nice and warm,” she said, cudd-ling him in her arms. Papa picked up a box and took a woo... wood-en stick from it. Ollie watched the stick, which nor-normally, would have looked very fun to play with, but he was far too cold to play. With a quick g-g-gues... gest... gesture, Papa stuck it against the box, making o-rang... o-range light come from it.
“How strange,” Ollie said, tilt-ing his head to the side. Thog...though Papa had now cau-caught his at-ten-ti-on, he was still much too cold to do anything but watch laz-lazily from Mama's arms.
Papa put the stick into a hole be-hind a grat-grating. Ollie had never not-not-noticed that hole before. It looked like a great place to hide. But Ollie was too cold to think of hid-ing there now.
Wips-wisps of smoke and then orange waves grew from the bo-ttom of the hole, con-sum-ing the large chunks of wood in its in-ter-i-or. Ollie watched the flames. They were like nothing he had ever seen before. Mama took him closer and set him down, and Papa replac-ed... replaced the grat-ing, ob-scur-ing the dan-king... dancing fig-ur-es... figures. Ollie was dis-a-ppoin-ted. He wanted to watch them dance, but he was too cold to arg-argue. He lay in front of the fireplace, feeling the warm-th flow from it. Oh, how good that warmth would feel ag-ainst his skin. How good it would be to bury himself in warm orange waves.
Ollie stood, get-ting closer to the fireplace, but Mama st-stopped him.
“No, no, Ollie. That is fire. It is hot. You cannot get too close, or you will get burn-ed... burned.”
But Ollie did not un-der-stand. What was hot? Like a hot sum-mer's day? He could almost puh-purr, think-ing of the past summer when he lay out under the sun, while Mama stood near-by fan-fanning herself with her hand.
“W-hew, it's so hot today,” Ollie re-mem-ber-ed... remembered her saying. “It feels like I'm burn-ing up out here.”
So, hot was not bad at all! Mama mig-might not like it, but Ollie lov-loved when it was hot.
Hearin' voices outside, I look up from the text and close the book. The boys are back, drunk and loud as usual. I have a bad feelin' about this story, but I'll have to finish it later.
But I'm so worried about Ollie that I can't even sleep.
That mornin', the boys and I reach the marketplace and then go our separate ways, heading to our posts. Up ahead is Lee, who does the shift before me. He's singin' a song. I can't make it out at first, but as I get closer I hear the familiar tune of the A's and Z's song.
“A, B, C, D, E, N, G/ haych, I, J, K, elementally,” he sings.
I can't help but laugh.
“It's not 'elementally'. It's 'L, M, N, O, P,'” I almost say, but I don't wanna come off as a smart-ass.
It's funny how easy it is for me to sing that song now. When I first tried to learn it, I couldn't understand it. It was just a bunch'a sounds. How could anyone memorize it?
I 'member first hearin' it bein' sung by a bunch'a little kids goin' to school. They walked behind their teacher in a straight line, and she sang right along with them. It was the weirdest song I'd ever heard. It didn't have no words in it – at least not until, “Now I know my A's and Z's/Tell me what you think of me.”
Now, I was at least smart enough to know that A's and Z's meant letters. So that's what all that gibberish was. The kids was learnin' their letters!
Every mornin', I tried to listen to the whole song, but I never caught the whole thing, and I still didn't know what any of it meant. Finally, one day I just went up and asked.
I 'member the teacher saw me comin' and slowed down before she put her arm out to shield the children.
“Hello, Ma'am,” I said, rememberin' to be polite, of course.
“Good day,” the teacher said. She eyed me real cautious, like she was scared I was gonna attack her or somethin'. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“No, I mean, yeah. I was, uh--” I took a deep breath. “I just wanna know what that song is you're singin'.”
“What song are we singing?” The teacher's eyes got wide, and she looked at me like there was somethin' funny. “It's the A's and Z's song. We're reciting the alphabet.”
“So, that's letters, right?” I asked.
“That's, uh, that's correct, yes.” The teacher nodded. “Um, is there anything else?” she asked, after I didn't say nothin' for a moment.
“Could I learn it, too?”
The teacher opened her mouth and closed it again.
“I – sure. I mean, I could.” She stopped to think for a moment. “We could use an escort on our way to the school. I much prefer walking my students there to letting them go by themselves, but I would feel much safer with an actual guard to protect us.”
I knew I wasn't supposed to just leave my post, but I only had to walk them to school and then I'd be right back. Plus, there was other guards nearby.
“Sure,” I agreed. “And you'll teach me the song?”
“You can learn right along with us,” she said. She took a piece of paper from a bag hanging on her shoulder.
“Oh, I can't read,” I said, lookin' at all the funny symbols on the paper.
“Well, each one of those is a letter. So, here's A, B, C...” she pointed to each as she said it. “Let's get going. Children? A's and Z's, but let's sing it very slowly so... Sorry, I didn't get your name.”
“Murray,” I told her.
“And I'm Helena Delaney,” she said, smilin' kinda quick and then turnin' to the kids. “Okay, let's sing slowly so that Murray can read along with us.”
The moment I heard her say those words, I couldn't help but think how strange it sounded. “...so that Murray can read along with us.” Me. Readin'. How crazy was that? But I guess it was also kind of excitin'.
The school kids' voices interrupt my thoughts, and I wave Lee off and take his place.
“Murray! Hi, Murray! Good morning, Murray!” the kids all say as the line approaches with their teacher, Miss Delaney, at the front.
“Good morning, Murray,” she says, smiling.
“Mornin' Miss Delaney. Mornin' kids,” I say, givin' them all a big wave.
“Shall we carry on?” says Miss Delaney, and they head off, the A's and Z's song startin' automatically as I line up behind them.
“So, Murray, how is the reading going?” Miss Delaney asks.
We've arrived at the school, and all the kids are gettin' ready for the day and sittin' at their desks. I notice the familiar A's and Z's chart at the front of the classroom. I can recognize all the letters real easy now, and to think I used to not know what any of it meant.
“It's goin' pretty fine,” I answer. “I'm readin' a book about this cat. His name's Ollie.”
“Oh, Ollie the Cat. A bit too advanced for my children, but I'm still very familiar with those books. Which one are you reading?”
I lift up my helmet to rub the back of my head.
“It's the one where it's snowin' and Ollie goes outside.”
“Oh, that one.” Miss Delaney frowns and shakes her head. “Those books are always so tragic for an animal lover like me, but that one was especially sad.”
“Don't tell me!” I nearly yell, holding my hands up. “I haven't finished it yet.”
“Okay, okay!” Miss Delaney chuckles, putting her hands out. “Calm down, I won't spoil it for you.”
“Thanks,” I say, relaxing my arms. “Well, I gotta go back to my post. I'll see you tomorrow.” I turn to the kids. “Bye, kids!”
“Bye, Murray!” They all say, and I turn to leave while Miss Delaney starts class.
Time to get back to Ollie.
The flames wigg-led wiggle-wiggled and pop-popped, dancing in a way that made them almost ir-re-sis-ti-ble... irre-sistible to a cat like Ollie. He watched the emb-ers float into the air and disappear as he w-hipp-ed... w-hipped his tail back and for-th, his eyes con-cen-tra-ting in-ten-se-ly on the tan-ta-li-zing fire.
But how would he get past the grating? He would have to move it, but sure-ly Mama or Papa would stop him before he could get past.
He sc-scanned the room, noticing-noting that the children had gone to bed and Mama and Papa sat do-doz-dozing off on the nearby sofa. So, he stood, war-i-ly stepping forward, his eyes locked on the nearly-sleeping couple. Creep-ing toward the bar-bar-ri-er s-se-pa-ra-ting him and the fire, he put his claws through the grating and yank-yanked it right down. It fell to the floor with a loud cla-clank that nearly made him dart in the other di-rec-tion, but he clamed-calmed himself and jumped on the grating, ready to make the final po-pounce.
“Ollie! No!”
The sound had wo-ken Mama and Papa, and they stoo-d, making their way to him. Ollie pa-nic-ked... panicked. He didn't have much time. The warmth from the fire toa-toast-toasted his skin like a hot summer's day, but he wanted those fla-mes flames for himself. He pounced, ready to trap the w-rig-gling w-riggling fire under his paws, as Mama sc-rea-m-ed... sc-reamed from behind him.
But soon he was the one sc-rea-ming.
“Hot! Hot! Hot!” he scree-ched... screeched. The fire was too hot. He bat-ted at the flames co-ver-ing his body, trying to keep them away, but it was no use as the fire cha-char-red... charred his bea-u-tiful fur, turn-ing it to the color of ash. Ollie screamed and screamed and screamed until his black-en-ed... blackened body went still, his life having fl-fled his us-use-useless co-corpse.
The End.
I can't believe it.
“Hey, Murray, you comin'?”
What in the Void just happened?
It's the end of my shift, and my buddies are all ready to go, but I clutch the book in my hand, my heart banged up and all but broken.
“No, you all go on. I'm gonna take a walk,” I say and push past 'em without sayin' another word.
You know, I figured things wouldn't turn out good for Ollie, but still the endin's left me kinda down. I got just as much into that book as someone would get into a story bein' told 'round the fire--
The fire.
Emotion hits me and leaves me with a bad feelin' in my stomach. Why'd that cat have to be so damn stupid?
I curse Ollie and T. J. Brownstone and the damn librarian that gave me the book and the goddamn library that kept the book on its shelves like it wasn't nothin' but another kid's story, just like the rest.
“Murray, what are you doing here?”
I walk into the classroom, and seein' the look on Miss Delaney's face, I let the tears fall.
“Is something wrong?” Miss Delaney asks. Her eyes get real wide, and she looks from side to side, but I'm too busy blubberin' to notice.
“Ollie died,” I sob, sniffling between words. “He... just jumped into the fireplace... and burned up.”
I look up at Miss Delaney, who, for just a moment, smirks before putting on a sympathetic face.
“It ain't funny,” I cry. “Why are you laughin'? Don't laugh!”
“Oh, Murray,” Miss Delaney approaches, putting her hand on my arm. “You didn't know?”
“Didn't know what?” I swallow, trying to keep my sobs at bay.
“Murray... Ollie dies in every book.”
The tears stop, and I stare at her through blurry eyes.
“W-What?”
“The cat dies in every book.” Miss Delaney replies. “That's the theme of the series. It's supposed to teach you not to be so curious that you get yourself into trouble.”
“I... wait a—What?”
Miss Delaney smiles a bit and then giggles, taking a handkerchief from her pocket.
“You poor thing!” she says, dryin' my eyes. I take the cloth from her, rubbin' it all over my face, wet with wasted tears.
“It's the same cat in every book? But how does he come back to life?” I hold up my finger. “Wait, wait, I know this. Cats got nine lives, right? So, as long as he doesn't die a whole nine times, he's okay.”
“Not quite,” Miss Delaney chuckles. “I think the trick here is that Ollie isn't a real cat. He's just a book character.”
“Well, that ain't realistic.” I sigh. “I could write a better story than that.”
“Maybe,” says Miss Delaney. She raises an eyebrow. “Are you looking to be a writer now?”
I laugh, feelin' my eyes dry up. Look at me, cryin' over a book.
“Oh no, nothin' like that. I just wanna read a better story. Somethin' happier.”
“Well, the library's still open. Maybe I can help you find some books you'd like to read.”
I nod, thinkin' of the possibilities—plus maybe Miss Delaney has a better taste in books than the librarian.
“Yeah, that'd be nice. Just no sad endin's,” I say. “And no cats.”
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Rowvember day 14-Story
Definition
1.An account of imaginary or real people and events told for entertainment.
2.an account of past events in someone's life or in the development of something
Summary: Set in the beginning days of SR1, Shea’s (Boss/Playa) canonisation has reached the ears of the Red Light District’s streetfighting circle, and they’re not happy. Alan Carlisle recounts a brief meeting with the Carnales enforcer, Victor Rodriguez
Words 1, 794
Shea frowned and wrung out the cricks in her neck as she stomped along the pavement, the steel toe boots thudding with every step, her hands travelled to her face, feeling tenderness around her left eye, and knew there would be a bruise tomorrow. She beat down most of the Saints during her Canonisation, but that last guy? That twat Johnny Gat? She had to bring her A game against him, he fought like he hated her.
But of course, it would turn out he did, having the audacity to criticise her reasons for signing up, so what if she wanted revenge on The Carnales for the other night? Was that so bad? It’s not like she had friends among Third Street, nor was she likely to, she didn’t need them, didn’t need any of them, not when she had The Circle. She was an arse-no-asshole he said, and he was right, she was, she told him he was right before she slammed an elbow into his face.
He still infuriated her just thinking of his fucking face.
She continued her heavy walk as she descended the steps, ending underneath one of the many many adult shops in this part of town, opening the door to the chatter and the buzz beyond, of streetfighters and bikers alike drinking and deep in conversation, though not as deep in conversation that their eyes flicked to her as she walked in. She paused, staring them all out until they looked away and then she made her way over to the bar, where her two favourite men in her life stood waiting for her.
“Luke! Alan! You two look cosy.” she mused, smiling at their stoic expressions. It was Alan that looked the most pissed, his scarred, wrinkled face holding blue eyes that were pure steel.
“You got some nerve coming back here lass.” he said, and Shea’s heart sank.
“Alan-” she began.
“-The Circle don’t do gangs.”
“What? So you gonna chuck me out?” she asked, pulling herself into a bar stool, and Luke leaned back, the movement drew her attention, and he avoided her eye. Great. She’d get no support from him, and she sighed and returned her attention to Alan, who threw the rag in his hands down, slamming the glass on top of the bar.
“You fucking knew the rules when we took you in.”
“Yeah, and what happened to ‘family forever’, was that just lip service?”
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Luke blurted out, and Shea looked at him.
“Oh, I wondered when you were gonna chirp in.”
“Getting involved in this shit isn’t going to go well lass, trust me, I know the players in the game. You’re outmatched.”
“Then you clearly don’t fucking know me as well as you thought.” she snapped, her body burning hot, temper already too close to the surface right now.
“Sorry, not sorry but in a fight between you and the tanks like Green and Rodriguez, I’m gonna put my money on them, they’re stronger than you.” Luke said, and Shea rolled her eyes.
“I’m 5’4, you really think I rely on just strength? Come on Luke, you should know better than anyone what I can do.”
“We’re just worried.”
“Maybe you should be more concerned about the fact there’s three gangs in Stilwater that this Circle has done fuck all about-”
“-which you didn’t care about until it happened to you-”
“-Who’s gonna have my back other than me?!”
“That’s insulting.” Alan cut in and she rounded on him, eyes wide.
“You want to chuck me out!” she said, raising her voice, and Alan raised his over hers.
“Because you ain’t bringing your gang shit here!”
“I’m not! I just want a fucking drink!” she shouted over him again, and Alan snarled and pushed off from the bar.
“You think I haven’t lived through all this before?! You think these scars are for show?! You go out there and get in a knife fight with Victor Rodriguez and then come talk to me.”
“Why would I do that? That seems like a fucking stupid thing to seek out.”
Alan put his face in his hands and dragged them over his face before he faced her again.
“I didn’t seek out the fight with Victor, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Right. Like I was the other night.” Shea cut across him, “Only I’m gonna do something about it. Julius is a good man.”
“Of course, it’s not like he’s brought a fourth fucking gang into an already combustible mix, because that makes sense.”
“What so you wanna rely on the police?”
“No.”
“Then shut the fuck up.”
“Do you want to hear my story, or are you just going to be a smartass?”
“I’m always a smartass, but fucking go ahead.”
“Fine.” Alan snapped, running a hand through his greying hair, “buckle up kid, I’m taking you back to 1981.”
“Please don’t, I don’t think I wanna go back to wearing nappies.” Shea quipped, she was barely one in 1981, and Alan looked like he sure as hell didn’t want to be reminded how old he was.
“Just listen, you little shit.”
***
Great, the Carnales and the Vice kings were fighting again. Sunnyvale just wasn’t safe these days. Alan stopped in his tracks as people ran away from the chaos towards him, barging into his shoulder in the panic to get away, and Alan ran his hand through his permed hair, black as night, and joined the current. Not wanting to be anywhere near this.
It was then that Red Hollywoods came speeding round the corner, and Alan had barely enough time to register Alejandro Lopez in the passenger seat before he raised is gun and fired into the crowd.
People were mowed down around him and Alan found his mind racing, the faces of those injured all around him, and fear and anger just consumed him, he saw red looking at the Carnales leader. And before he knew it, he was stalking towards him. He’d be fine, he was a fighter after all.
He ran forwards, zig zagging so Alejandro couldn’t get a lock on him, before he launched himself at the car, grabbing Alejandro by the scruff of his neck and dragging him bodily from the car, giving him a straight right hook across the face before throwing him down onto the road.
He briefly saw the defiance in Alejandro’s face before an arm as thick as a tree stump wrapped around his neck and pulled him back, and he twisted before a searing pain travelled up his side, and he glanced down, saw a knife stuck in his side, followed the hand and arm holding it and recognised the tattoos. Rodriguez. Of course Alejandro wouldn’t be here without his dragon.
He was allowed to fall onto the road, and Alejandro and Victor exchanged words before Alejandro got to his feet and pegged it away, and then Victor’s fist smashed into the side of his head, and Alan’s world span. Then another blow, and another blow, then another, and all Alan could do was grip at the handle in his side, hands slick with his own blood failing to find purchase as Victor decided to try and beat him to death.
When the blood on his hands dried somewhat and became stickier, his fingers wrapped around the handle of the knife and pulled. He screamed, gritting his teeth to curb the shout and kicked out hard at Victor’s knee, hard enough to force the leg to bend how it was never supposed to, and Victor howled, his hands moving to hold the offending leg as he sought to bear the pain, and Alan used that opportunity to scramble to his feet, knife at the ready before he lunged, swiping the Carnales enforcer across the face with the blade.
It was then, as Victor glared through the blood running down his face that Alan knew he should have just ran, he should’ve just counted his lucky stars he wasn’t wounded in the drive by and just got away. He had to let his anger get the best of him didn’t he? Victor pulled another knife from his vest and grinned before lunging on his bad leg.
Even one legged he was quick for his sidz, and Alan clutched at his side and dodged as best he could, getting caught across his eye himself, and he staggered back, blinking back blood.
Victor lunged again and Alan dodged, twisting his side painfully before he kicked out, catching Victor under his chin, staggering him, and Alan seized his change, charging forward to stab Victor in the neck.
And Alan wasn’t stupid, he used the opportunity to run, his life was oozing out through his fingers but sheer terror gripped him, and he ran faster, the hospital wasn’t far away, he could make it. As long as he didn’t pass out first.
***
“Now all that tells me is don’t give them a chance to retaliate.” Shea replied. “Get on them and keep on them until they’re dead and you’re not.” she shrugged, and Alan leaned on the bar and glared.
“I get it. I thought I was as invincible as you back then-”
“-Oh I don’t think I’m invincible Alan.” Shea interrupted, again, “on the contrary I’m quite aware of how mortal I am, I just know it and don’t care.” she said, which was a lie. In reality she just simply didn’t want to die, so she did what she could to not die. Being raised Catholic and being told you’re going to hell for the smallest thing made a young Shea very scared of her last day on Earth. But wasn’t that where the rush came from? To face your deepest, darkest fear, and triumph against the odds? If she was taught that anywhere, it was from Alan himself.
“You’re fucking impossible.”
“And you say that like it’s a bad thing.” Shea replied, waggling her eyebrows.”Drink please.” she added, and Alan placed his hands on his hips.
“Alright Father Hackett, chill the fuck out.” he replied, again with that steel in his eyes. As she stared back, she saw worry, fear creep into his eyes and a small part of her did feel bad, he was against the gang war and gangs, always had been from the sounds of it, and for all intents and purposes she had just cast all that away and joined up to be in the thick of it.
“I’m sorry Alan, it’s just gotta be done.” she said, and he turned back, his eyes postively shining with tears, and again Shea’s inside shifted in guilt.
“Aye lass, but it didn’t have to be you.”
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It's the Bane Sin Bin