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mumbo-killingmachine-jumbo · 2 years

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scene : you set sail alone, there is no crew / no one on the deck who can help you

characters : seablings! except instead of empires undertones it’s angsty Church of Jeremyism X Life undertones :]

music : ship in a bottle - fin , talk to you - Ricky Montgomery

what happens : Lizzie sets up Seelie The Dealie. Jimmy helps her. Neither of them realize what this means until later. ( didn’t realize it wasn’t lapslock until later? gee i guess renchanting duo is lapslock n seablings is Actual Grammar in my brain )

wordcount : 959

Lizzie sees the ways the others look at her. The other players ( contestants ) look at her with pity in their eyes. Pity is good. Pity can be used. The others think she’s new, inexperienced. Which she is, to some extent. New to the people. Not new to the game. So far, nobody looks at her with the void seeping through their eyes. Apathy hasn’t set in yet. This is good. ( She doesn’t think she could handle another Red Funeral. )

You see, what most people on this server don’t know is that this isn’t Lizzie’s first death game. Sure, Jimmy and Scott and Joel know, but she can handle them herself. It’s the people she doesn’t know, ( the hermits ) that scare her. They say that you should know your enemy, and that rings especially true on this server. And what better way to get to know people than a business?

Which is where Lizzie finds herself now. Enchanting will be useful on such a pvp-oriented server. And if she uses the last wisps of her quickly fading magic to make sure no one gets any enchantment too dangerous, well, nobody will notice. Nobody important, anyway. And if the diamond ores are hard to find and harder to mine, if building the shop takes longer than it used to, if she’s dedicating her energy to a potentially fruitless gamble, there’s no one to be concerned about her anyway. As far as Lizzie’s concerned, anyone coming to her little corner of the map can go away. Unless it’s for business, of course. ( Of course! )

Which is why Jimmy visits her. He’s trying his best to be sneaky and hide behind a tree, and is failing spectacularly in his attempt. After a couple minutes of tolerating it, Lizzie decides to put him out of his misery.

“ I know you’re in there, Timmy. “

The trees rustle. Jimmy’s figure shrinks into itself, trying to be discreet as possible, which is laughable. Jimmy was never discreet. Not then, and not now. Probably not ever. ( For a second he looks like he’s wearing a toga, flowers in his hair, friendship bracelet on his wrist. Lizzie blinks. The toga’s gone. )

“ No, Timmy’s not here. I don’t even know anyone called Timmy. “ he squeaks out.

Lizzie raises an eyebrow and lets her silence do the talking. Jimmy comes out after a few moments. He’s never had any patience. Lizzie gives him a fond smile, before remembering that she’s supposed to be angry at him.

“ What are you doing here, Timmy? Hanging around in the forest stalking me can’t be good for you. I haven’t seen you around all day, what’ve you been doing? “ she questions.

Jimmy smiles sheepishly, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Lizzie frowns. If he’s worried, it must be serious. Jimmy’s always been a little…air-headed. ( Scott’s words, not hers. )

“Um. Good question! You know the shop you’ve just opened? Yeah. Yeah, that one. I’ve got a little…business inquiry, Liz. “ Jimmy stutters out.

Lizzie’s demeanour changes immediately. She smiles, more patiently this time, at Jimmy. Her wings flap gently against non-existent air. She lifts a hand up to fix her buns. Her magic awakens to a state that almost makes it look like she’s glowing. ( Jimmy remembers sitting in the pews with his friends. Wonderful news, she and Scott had said. They were both wrong. It was the worst news he’d ever heard in his life. Lives. )

“ Why didn’t you say so, Timmy? “ she asked. And suddenly there’s a hand clutching at his wrist, dragging him up the hill to Seelie the Dealie.

The interior is of Lizzie’s store is warm and cozy. The floor and walls are made of birch with spruce accents. Shelves across the shop are lined with knickknacks. The enchanting table sits on a rug in the centre, along with a chest full of lapis. Candles are lit all around it. ( Somehow, Jimmy still feels like shivering. )

She beckons Jimmy to enchant his weapons, armour. There’s a sign behind her : ‘ Full Enchanting Pass 10 Diamonds Only! ‘. If he accepts, the enchantments will be mediocre at best, he knows. She’ll take the chance to discreetly size him up, he knows. To an outsider, she smells like rose water. To those who know, she reeks of the fae. ( She didn’t always reek of them, he knows that. Knows there must have been a time when Lizzie was fully human. But if he reaches back, tries to remember, he’ll find haze and smoke. He knows that, too. )

“ I didn't come to use the enchanter actually. Well, it would be useful, too but…the point is, I’ve got a business proposition, actually?” he doesn’t mean to make it come out as a question, but it does. Ah well. No going back now.

Her face turns stony, and all friendliness seeps from her voice. The scent of roses is cloyingly overwhelming now.

“ Get on with it. “

“ Well, um, I was wondering! Could I maybe, perhaps? Join your shop? As like an employee or something? “ His voice is shaking. Why is it shaking? Does Lizzie intimidate him that much? ( Devs, yes. Lizzie scares him. Lizzie scares him. )

Something pops in Lizzie’s mind. It does sound nice, to have an ally. Admittedly, an alliance with Jimmy, but she’ll take what she can get. Someone to do her dirty work for her, assuming she has dirty work that needs to be done. She lets the pause linger for longer than is necessary, just to watch Jimmy squirm, of course.

“ Welcome aboard, Jimmy! Your first job is to get the heck out of here and advertise the store. Net some more customers for us, yeah?”

Lizzie reaches out and shakes his hand, sealing the deal.

#laee writes #cravingsunlightau #cs!lizzie #cs!jimmy #hehe jeremyism #ldshadowlady #solidaritygaming #jimmy solidarity #should I tag x life?#ehhhh #not really the focus #just mentioned #hehehehe #flexing my angst muscle

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daisy-mooon · 3 years

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Empires SMP memes must be wild...

No, not the memes on Tumblr. I mean, the memes of the citizens that live in the Empires.

Mezalea: Pretend they can't see their friends, who can diss/compliment people the best, concrete factories are gay churches, everyone's nickname is Jeremy, Jeremyism

Ocean Empire: axoltols, SECRET TUNNEEELLLLLLL, who can have pinker hair than Queen Lizzie, Jeremyism is the fastest growing religion, 'yes we build roofs of live coral keep scrolling', more axolotls

Cod Empire: Salmon Suck, CodRulzLol, axolotls cute but rare, elves want us fish fear us, will not hesitate to yeet your wheat, beatbox distracks, and they were in an ALLIANCE (oh my god they were in an alliance) give our king a gun, oh look a random music of horrifying music it's the greatest song in the world :)

Rivendale: feeling submissive perhaps breedable, gay gay homosexual gay, the reindeer ate Santa and became god (Aeor), give our king a gun, and they were in an ALLIANCE (oh my god they were in an alliance), so many owls it's Hogwarts

Lost Empire: be gay do crime, our king is a demon fucker TM, "at least I wasn't turned down by a demon at the King of Mezalea and Ocean Queens Wedding bitch", hand flops, we are kidnappers and pretty bad ones but hey it works 7% of the time, dinosaurs :)

UnderGrove: mushrooms mushrooms mushrooms, oh no it's not Queen Shelby it's our local neighbourhood Wolf Spirit, swimming is for sluts, be ace punch a face, hiss hiss bark snarl, I found my inner wolf and I'm going to eat the corruption out of spite

Overgrown: SECRET TUNEELLLLLL, y'all don't have flowers? Weak, Y'all need shoes? Weak, y'all don't have a baby town? Weak. We can't be bothered to get rid of corruption so we'll just set something on fire and call it a day uwu

Smallhold: THE DUCK WALKED UP TO THE LEMONADE STAND AND HE-, crops crops crops, you need all kinds of crops or you die lmao, who wants to fight me at three in the morning, fighting demons for fun is sexy and cool y'all are just weak

Mythland: blood sheep, BUBBLES MY BELOVED, our king isn't corrupted yes he is no he isn't what's going on, I would start a war with you over stolen wheat and an enchanted book bish, we eat corruption for breakfast :)

Grimlands: hehehehe redstone deepslate, SALMON RULE, we will gladly listen to your diss tracks, let's kill Scott mwhahaha, we will harass cod people for free and that's your problem, "nuuu u can't blow up random things" "hehe tnt go boom boom", we also eat corruption for breakfast :)

Crystal Cliffs: let's teach pilligars magic this is fun and won't backfire on us in anyway, sound proof wizard hats, all cats are called gandalf sorry I don't make the rules, shiny ace rocks my beloved, STOP EATING CORRUPTION FOR BREAKFAST >:|

Pixandria: copper daddy uwu, let's milk the demons boob eye, pilligars are dumb y'all are just cowards, highest effort pranks in existence, hey let's just make a storm in a desert for fun real quick lmao, candles are not fun to eat we know from experience

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dumkeidumb · 3 years

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i said and i qoute "might fuck around and make c!joel background lore" (on my twitter)

joel used to live in a swamp, he doesn't know why.

anyways joel meet witches in the swamp, at first sight they look aggressive, but overtime the witches doesn't care about joel's presence because he doesn't really bother them. maybe once he was injured and the "mean" witches helped him with the injury.

in a nutshell

witches: *looks at joel menacingly*

joel: haha hehe *acts like a child*

witches: *clutch fists* dammit

one of the witches told him a story, jack in a beanstalk and shrek. (i know, weird witch) so like, he connected he was like shrek, the witches doesn't understand, but that's how they normally feel around joel anyways.

smallishbeans, he actually don't know how he came up with that, the witches suggest that he comes up with a different name to refer himself, then tell his real name to the real friends, yknow? when someone evil know your name, is like bad and cursed and stuff like that. he believes the witches, because like, who is he gonna believe if not them?

once ate shampoo, but he actually doesn't know what shampoo is. basically he was drinking liquid, the witches at first was like "he's getting hydrated" than look at the liquid again and it's NOT for drinking. the witches momentarily think hes going to die.

(inspired: x life incorrect qoutes :D)

the witches are actually responsible with him. they act like his parents / adults bcs this kids parents are clearly not here. they tried to leave joel with a village but he somehow comes back to the swamp, also he has a house in the swamp, a small one. but he sometimes sleepovers at one of the witches house because he doesn't want to be alone.

the witches sometimes try to teach him stuff about magic but he refuse to learn. but he knows about enchantments only enchantments.

when he comes to a village, he tells them about the witches (of course without their real names), but the villagers said that witches are bad and evil, joel is confused and doesn't prompt anymore statements.

he is actually fine with the coven, because their witches and he reminds him of the witches in the swamp, sure they hate jeremyism, but they'll warm up eventually, like the witches in the swamp (also bcs lizzie is in the coven)

when a normal and nice villager came up to him, he would instantly fall for them. he grown to close with the witches, so he sees villagers and his mind goes "safe and comfort"

(reference: culturecraft episode one)

angst time

the witches don't want him anymore, it's what they told him. they left him. alone. so alone. he doesn't like being alone.

so he went on, wanting to not be alone, but he won't get comfortable to the villagers, no no, that's stupid, but his mind says differently.

he swore if he saw a witch again, he will at all cost kill them, for the hurt they caused on him.

(reference: culturecraft episode three)

that mason villager, that spends time in his base, even though it's evident that he doesn't like them. but they still haven't left, yet. it was already foolish that he let them stayed, but it was more stupid and foolish of him to get comfortable and fall for said mason villager.

he even said it to their face, jokingly or not. the mason villager only looked at him weirdly and walked away, typical. so it didn't hurt that they were gone the next day, they probably think he was weird or something. but he still dig a grave, even there's no body, and said his condolences. he still went on with his day.

i went ham idc

#smallishbeans #character lore #x life #mention only tho #sorry x lifers #culturecraft #mcyt #mcyt shitpost #it's your local shitposter #mcytblr

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