#here have brain vomit

[three--rings]

Okay so I know we're in this big anti-sex cultural moment.

And I know my own personal standards on this issue are way out there. I am a sex first relationship later person. It's just how I roll. So I'm biased.

But I have to say, everyone talks like it's definitely for sure that it was a bad idea for Ed and Stede to have sex when they did.

And honestly, like, I'm not even arguing with that. It was a very understandable time for them to have sex. There should have been some more talking either before or AFTER about how they were both feeling. But it wasn't ideal perhaps.

Still I want to be clear: I don't think them having sex is the fucking problem here.

Ed is overwhelmed and unsure of where he fits right now. He's been through a lot of trauma recently (and caused a lot of course.) So it's understandable why he'd feel unprepared to add sex with Stede on top of it all.

However, they both do very much want to have sex with each other. And when two people are in love and really attracted to each other and really want to have sex, even if they have other reasons why they are holding back from it...well, eventually they're going to have sex. Sooner or later, but probably sooner.

Time in this show is very difficult to gauge, especially this season. So some time has passed between the moonlight scene and the beginning of ep 6. Ed had his leathers back, he's not wearing the bell, things have changed and progressed. It's not the next day. Probably.

We don't get to know how much time it's been or what has been said in between. Ed seems basically in the same place mentally. If not a worse one. Progress is not being made.

It's easy to criticize Stede for initiating a rather aggressive pounce on Ed in the wake of his trauma. But he's clearly not thinking. That's his issue, separate from the question of whether Ed is ready, so I'm not going to get into it. But he does pause, and he looks to Ed for permission, which Ed gives before enthusiastically and passionately joining in.

They both just went through a scary time. They both are seeking comfort in each other. It means sooner comes rather than later in the inevitable 'they're GOING to fuck' race. I know that sentence is a trashfire but let's move on.

Ed is happy in the morning. He's a little nervous, with the breakfast, but he feels good about dumping his leathers. He's come to a decision. Even after he starts to get nervous after Stede talks about their career, he's mostly fine when they go eat. Relaxed, happy about what happened.

And then all the fame stuff starts and he's fine at first. He talks to Jackie and is fine about it until Jackie is like yeah but you have a problem with your man. He talks to Izzy.

Now he's REALLY done a 180. He doesn't see his desired life and Stede's desired life matching up. Stede apparently doesn't understand Ed and where he's at if he thinks they're going to be pirates together now.

This is the problem. This is what upsets Ed. he spirals for hours. He's running scenarios and coming to negative conclusions. He's not valuable or loveable if he's not Blackbeard. Stede doesn't want him if he doesn't fit into that life. He needs to move on. He is panicked and freaking out.

Then he talks to Stede, after already making the decision to leave and go fishing. Like, let's be clear, he doesn't decide that during their fight. He's decided and signed on. He's just saying goodbye.

It's only then that he brings up the sex. He does throw blame at Stede for it a bit, which I think is mostly fair. But he also isn't accounting for Stede's state of mind at the time. They were both off tilt. But he digs into that, and to me, I think he's using the sex as an excuse.

He didn't have a problem with the sex itself. He was happy in the morning and after. Smiling, smug, cute, loved up, having heart to hearts about mermaids and letters.

It was all the life/identity stuff that crashed in that shifted him. But he doesn't know how to talk about that. He doesn't know how to explain it or be vulnerable about his worst fears and self-worth issues.

So he goes on offense and says hey, actually, this is your fault. He picks the issue he has words for, the only one they've actually talked at all about.

Stede is NOT wrong when he identifies Ed as panicking and wanting to run. Stede is recognizing the behavior from himself.

Just like it's not about Ed wanting to fish, it's not about them going too fast. It's about them not communicating about their deepest needs and desires and fears.

They can have sex or not have sex, if they're not communicating it won't work. They could continue fucking like rabbits and have long talks in between sessions and get really really far. Or do what they've been doing which is NOT having sex and also not communicating which can go on forever and they won't get closer to happy.

I feel like fandom has latched on to this one thing as The Problem, because it's all Ed SAID was a problem. But we have lots of evidence otherwise.

I mean, even the conversation...Ed says it's too fast, Stede is like...okay well we can do whatever. He doesn't get defensive even though he's hurt. But that's not good enough, because that's not actually the problem. But at that point Ed really starts running away.

And they start getting more heated, both being sloppy at expressing themselves. (Stede is unfortunately pretty freaking drunk.)

I think they are both very avoidant personalities when it comes to this kind of thing, this kind of deeply personal conflict. Their anxieties keep them from being honest. And so the sex combined with Stede's killing of a man, and newfound fame, that all became a crisis that forced them to confront these issues. I think ultimately probably for the best, instead of not addressing them.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #my meta #I still have barely slept since the episodes dropped #I don't even know if this makes any sense #will I put it in drafts? nah #here have brain vomit

[becauseplot]

Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!

Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)

But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.

Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.

Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.

Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.

*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful &lt;3

Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.

#qsmp #qsmp spiderbit wedding #spiderbit #guapoduo #qsmp cellbit #q!cellbit #spiderbit wedding #yeah i know that everyone's talking about the debates right now but ive been busy all week and im behind on vods #so here have a spiderbit wedding word-vomit post and ill talk about the debates later (maybe) #im reading this back to myself after posting and boy i sure do love italics huh lmao #edit: tiny amendment to this post (bc my brain wont shut up) but i should note that ofc jaiden is also part of roier's little family- #-but i didn't include her in the footnotes bc this post was already getting long and tbh the different kinds of families- #-on the island deserves its own post but i dont have any Big thoughts on the matter apart from it's vvvvv nice to see <3 #dont mind me im just rambling

[dawnbreakersgaze]

☆ "𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓶𝓮, 𝓞 𝓡𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼,

𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓶𝓮, 𝓞 𝓛𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓽𝓼, 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓴 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓮𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓼" ☆

#i just love how he delivers this specific line in this poem so much- like i almost cry every time #he sounds so close to tears himself it guts me #and i love how soft he looks during this moment when theyre counting stars together and shes calling him and monster lol #and he sounds concerned but he still looks at her with so much love and adoration even though she kind of called him awful on accident #idk i just have a lot of Xavier feelings today despite all the Raf and Zayne things going on in my brain #and I wanted to vomit them somewhere so here we are #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #Xavier #xavier love and deepspace #xavvy baby #kay's edits

[goldkirk]

I'm taking a survey--I'd love to talk about thoughts for Shutterbug Series and the magic Tim series on here, but I also don't want to spoil the story or future events for people.

Do you feel okay with me just talking about whatever I want even if it's spoilers or even if I don't end up writing it?

Or would it really make it hard for you if I was on here posting potential spoilers at random?

Would you be okay with it IF I had a separate tag for just-thoughts-and-ramblings like "shutterbug braindump" that you could blacklist?

#polls #shutterbug series #coraline au #i didn't have this concern back when i was writing latchkey because it was just so fast and not a lot of people had found and read it yet #and certainly not many followed me on here #but now I know a good number of people do and I don't want to just subject people to my brain dump writing vomits without consent haha #my audience has evolved from what it previously was #i want to make sure i evolve my habits/boundaries with that if necessary too #2024 #gold thoughts #i'm going to try to create a new tag to see if i'm still capable of creating new tagging habits i won't forget forever #it's an experiment

[elecman108]

If there is anything that makes me wanna say "I called it" on, it's the characterization of the Daycare Attendant (Sun specifically) in Help Wanted 2. My version of Sun's personality is almost exactly like the Sun in HW2, and I made him after playing Security Breach (the only difference being he cusses and that Moon is more chill).

I deadass looked at this cheerful weirdo we barely got to see in that game and went "he is both the only adult serving cunt and the most friendly guy to ONLY children out there". And now that's CANON. He is the exact opposite of that one meme image that has "fuck them kids" on it. Sun says "fuck them adults" lmao.

#the disappointment speaks #a day in the life of the disappointment #screaming into the void #love my brain doing this to me #if I had a nickel for every time I called something by accident before it occured (game related) #I'd have 2 nickels. one for Banjo in smash and one for Sun's personality. #if we include irl itd be 3 bc I once told a resident that she's win big at bingo and won 7 out of 11 rounds that day #btw I'll never live that bingo moment down. We manifest bingo winnings to rival the gods here. #but yeah I didnt think I could compare me calling Sun's personality and Banjo in Smash Ultimate ever but here we are! #its like sans and the queen dying. unrelated yet somehow forever linked by correlation. #oh wait I gotta do normal tags too #fnaf #fnaf help wanted 2 #help wanted 2 #okay enjoy my word vomit people going through the hw2 tags on tumblr. ily

[togo--mimori]

Hey here's some brainstorming on where I'm planning on certain characters being in the Royal Court Au because I need to get it out of my system and some people might be interested

Kaisers Kingdom (unnamed)

Kuon was the chef isagi bribed into Poisoning Noa, lemon was implicated in the crime and despite him being an unknown participant In the crime, he was put to death along with Kuon for treson

Bachira is a jester alongside Isagi who specializes in acrobatics and juggling tricks. He helped Isagi get up the ranks and they're roommates When kaiser isn't forcing isagi to spend the night. They have several acts together and often get called together to any party the king attends to entertain!

Ness was Kaisers jester when he was just a prince, closest thing Kaiser had to a friend when before Isagi "ripped him away" from Ness. Ness often acts as a sort of attendant to Kaiser though. Bringing him what he requests and such. Hes also very good at falling off of a horse in such a funny way and it's one of the only things that can make kaiser burst out laughing. It hurts his bones, but ness takes it as a win.

Shidou is kaisers head knight. Not exactly someone who's noble on any front but he's strong and no one will cross him at all. He's also a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. In the midst of war he ran into-

Sae was challenged to a duel from the rivaling nations shidou, and lost (not by much. He was also caught off guard and ended up enjoying himself quite a bit) because he lost, he was whisked away to shidous kingdom because of a bet he foolishly agreed on. He didn't really care, he liked the guy and got to get away from his weird brother.

(I am also torn between making hiori the palace doctor who helps isagi kill the king or making him a member of the band that plays at isagis and bachiras preformances)

Barous kingdom (also unnamed)

Barou is the king, never wears a shirt and more often than not participates in battles himself. Really pissed at isagi because he's always sent as the envoy to rile up his troops. Dreams of blasting isagis head off in a catapult back to Kaiser

Rin is barous warlord? Strategist? The dude who plans the fights. Really pissed at isagi and kaiser because he finds them responsible for his brother leaving. Wears all black and a big ass cape to brood and plan war stuff. Dreams of blasting isagi off live in a catapult

Nanase is a jester, just a delightful funny guy who's the only one to ever make rin laugh. It was once and completely by accident. He dearly wishes to replicate it. Barou likes him because despite all he gets up to, he doesn't make a mess with his jests. Very earnest and loves what he does.

Nagi is a low ranking noble and his family is close business partners with Reos, they're not often seen apart and theres rumors that reo does most of Nagis paperwork. They travel between both nations a lot for merchant buisness.

And that's what I've got! If anyone has any ideas or questions shoot me an ask!

#someone wanted to read more so heres a word vomit of the world in my brain! #i dont want to clog the characters tags so i wont tag them all #i legitimately have no ideas for kunigami or chigiri if anyone does please help me LMAO #blue lock #bllk #bllk royal court au

[8rujaa]

it’s been a few months since my dog passed and i still cry about it everyday

#it feels silly to be so broken over a dog… she meant so much to me #i’ve been extra emotional because i’ve been having really good days and all i can think of is how i wish she were here #being at the park without her makes me so sad #i went a whole year without being able to give her the attention she needs bc i myself was so unhealthy. she deserved more than a broken mom #brain vomit #tw pet loss

[chickenparm]

weekly reminder that i'm not dead, just workin' on myself!

#chickenparm deep lore #word vomit in tags incoming #things have been Not Great for the past few months but we're getting better! #i been going to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist #and working on getting my brain in a better place so i can function at the level i want to #i'm almost there i can TASTE it #anyway thank you guys for being patient while i haven't been writing a damn thing #and also all the silco people that haven't ran from me yet when the genshin plague struck me #and if you're just here cause you like me well then i like you too buddy #but yeah #sit tight for the follower milestone requests to be filled #and also my 30-idea long to do list for tartaglia fics #and whatever the fuck is gonna happen to lyney once i have him in my grasp

[hayaku14]

kaishin au where kaito unwillingly received immortality from pandora. kaito is torn and broken upon the burden of eternal life. shinichi promises to stay with him forever. to do so, he drinks aptx 4869 every 10 years.

years go by and soon everyone in their life passes. kaito and shinichi learned how to create the poison from haibara before she left the world as well. but though it works in consistently turning back time for shinichi, it is still a deadly poison. accumulated, it slowly weakens him.

as shinichi's body slowly deteriorates, the poison chipping away at his life, kaito spirals. once again, torn and broken, kaito is desperate. feeling this to be their last years together, he decides to find a way to stay with shinichi forever.

a way to reverse his immortality.

a way to die together.

#kaishin #dcmk #detective conan #kudou shinichi #kuroba kaito #dc prattles #dont look at me idk why but this angst came out of fucking nowhere too #this came into my brain and i had to vomit it all here or else it'll plague my mind and die there #i actually wrote that they have half a century left but ig it's better to leave it vague #i think at one point they would have to fake their deaths #but shinichi's body couldnt possibly handle changing back and forth if he's past his 50s right? #what im trying to say is that make this au extra angsty by making them fake their deaths in their late 20s or early 30s #this is haibara's advice as someone who knows shinichi's biology the most and how the poison works #they could probably tell their close friends and family though (making it less angsty cause i remembered i am GODS WEAKEST SOLDIER) #lowkey shinichi at the point where kaito decides to look for a way to immortality is already either bed ridden #on a wheelchair #or at least cant run anymore and is easily tired #(THIS AU IS JUST AN ELABORATE SICK FIC AND MY ADDICTION TO TIRED SHINICHI SHOWING) #changed aptx 4689 to 4869! im sorry i wrote this at 2 am lmao

[tempenensis]

Yuuji was our first exposure to the idea of "incarnation". From the majority of the responses to him that "incarnation" is assumed to kill the host. However, the most recent chapters, as well as the throughline of Mahito's powers (body vs soul), appear to slowly be refuting the idea that a possession kills the host.

Would you be able to offer some insight or clarification about this phenomenon? More specifically, do you think that sorcerer society would consider Megumi to be "dead"? Jujutsu sorcerer's aren't big on hopes or long shots, and we have the saying that it's better to live as a human than to die as a curse, so it's unclear to me whether the currently active students/other sorcerers would try to bring Megumi back, or whether they think it's not an option because it's so unlikely?

Hi, there!

Yeah, for the longest time, we didn't have much info about how the whole incarnation works; until Choso and his brothers' case provided more insight. As mentioned in one of the QAs on his profile page from the fanbook, the Kusouzu brothers can take over the vessel because their vessels have low resistance to curse; to the point that their "shape" follows the brother's form and there's almost no trace of original form from the original vessel (except for the little mouth in Kechizu's face). The Kusouzu brothers are the first of actual textbook case example of a normal cursed object incarnation. And this case more or less follows Mahito's view - that the shape of flesh follows the shape of the soul.

In the recent arc we see a lot of cases of incarnation as a lot of ancient sorcerers coming back; Kashimo, Ishigoori, Uro, just to name a few, are all examples of "typical" incarnation. On the other hand, Yuuji, Hana, and Megumi and Tsumiki to a length are "atypical" incarnations - as they have a certain level of resistance towards the cursed object that let them to retain their original appearance. Yuuji (and possibly Hana) can even suppress the incarnated curse so they don't take over the body.

So considering the clues we get up to now, I think "dead" is not the exact word I can use. I would choose the word "suppress" more, Sukuna's soul is suppressing Megumi's soul and he is winning the vessel from the original soul. However, Sukuna definitely still feels Megumi's soul fighting back; hence he is trying a lot of things to further suppress the soul until he can take over the flesh 100%, including the bath, or fighting Yorozu who had incarnated in Tsumiki's body.

I think the most interesting case is Kenjaku. His case is definitely not in the line of "incarnating" but similarly, he takes over a vessel. In his case, he takes over an empty vessel, jumping from corpse to corpse, so no soul fights him back. However, it's still interesting that what his soul does is opposite of normal incarnation; rather than the soul shaping the flesh, in Kenjaku's case, his soul follows the shape of the body, which is why he can use the vessel's curse technique. I think Sukuna also able to do this to some extent; which is why he can use Fushiguro's curse technique.

(if Sukuna's cutting technique is confirmed to not be his original technique, then we'll be sure that Kenjaku and Sukuna actually shares similar technique of stealing other's curse techniques)

#le-ask #jujutsu kaisen #jjk manga spoilers #jjk meta #ryoumen sukuna #kenjaku #brain vomit #i have a lot of thoughts im sorry i dumped those here lol

[adhd-merlin]

unpopular opinion: arthur (as much as i like him as a character) was useless in terms of prophecy and liberation of the magic people. not just bc he never ended up lifting the magic ban but bc literally anyone sitting on the throne could have done that. i see no reason why it had to be arthur specifically. but the show liked to pretend like he was the only way to achieve a positive future bc the opprressed community cant simply help themselves that would be silly ig? no no they need to patiently wait that maybe one day their oppressor (whos literally continuing his fathers genocide even if less zealously) has a change of heart and they wont be hunted down like animals anymore. never mind the countless people that will have to die in the mean time. merlin can kill a bajillion people on screen and thats fine and for the greater good but if someone tries to kill One guy sitting on a fancy chair with a fancy hat suddenly thats too extreme. half the time it felt like the show was pointing to merlin as a poster child of how to act when oppressed. the fact that morgana growing bitter about uthers reign is framed as inherently bad and what directly lead to her becoming evil tm is particularly infuriating to me. the choice to create this very ya dystopian setting and then cast the oppressors as part of the main cast and the final solution is just very weird to me. i think it wouldve been objectively for the best if the magic community had overthrown arthur (or uther really but thats not really contested.. unless youre the bbc. this show is so british (derogatory))

in that vein: mordred has never done anything wrong in his entire life and that includes killing arthur

one more for the "arthur was a loser" folder

[ok but about the rest!! I have many thoughts about it. merlin as a member of an Oppressed Minority. his betrayal of his own kin. I'm putting it all under a cut bc you guys don't need to see me rambling about this and the disir again]

you make a good point — the way in which a story is framed, even the moment we choose as a "beginning", determines what characters we'll feel sympathy for, even when the facts at our disposal are the same.

I don't think the writers were trying to create any kind of deep social commentary btw. just so we're clear. merlin is the hero of the story and his mission is to keep arthur safe. we've got to root for them both.

to have a king with a hatred (fear) of magic gives us a convenient antagonist within the court. merlin having to defend the men that would have him killed for his magic is a great source of dramatic tension. it sort of follows that the people he has to fight against to defend the king/prince are other magic users, or magical threats. (it also keeps things interesting because there would be no challenge for merlin otherwise).

there isn't much of a point in exploring the motives and backstories of other characters with magic (with the exception of morgana, perhaps). They are only briefly touched upon — so these characters remain vaguely antagonistic for the most part. Neutrally aligned at best (see mordred).

We are shown that the druids are (mostly) aware of the prophecy that marks merlin/emrys as the saviour of their kind.

what I find fascinating are merlin's interactions with magic people who are either not aware of this prophecy (gilli) or have no faith in it (kara, possibly?) Because we're never given the chance or the time to see things from their perspective. To see merlin through their eyes.

When gilli says:

"It is time that someone struck a blow for the likes of you and me. And if you're too weak, then I will." (!!!)

It makes him sound like some kind of extremist, but really, when you think about it. isn't his anger kind of justified? I'm not condoning his violence, I'm just saying — it's understandable. uther has killed so many innocent people. literally drowned innocent children. and merlin's like "violence isn't the answer!" — and I can see his point!! but I can see gilli's just as well. and I find it so interesting that he's still addressing merlin as a brother ("the likes of you and me"), even when expressing disappointment in his actions and calling him weak. because they are the same. he's saying "you're deluded, and cozying up to the enemy won't save you"

this episode also contains what is (probably) my favourite dragon call. when merlin summons kilgharrah in other episodes, he's usually in the middle of some Urgent Situation. matters of life or death. there is nothing urgent here, really. yeah, it is arguably a matter of life or death, but nothing merlin couldn’t have stopped on his own. he really just called on kilgharrah to have a heart to heart with a friend — a member of his class.

("You are a creature of magic, and only a creature of magic could hope to understand.")

this episode is about merlin looking for kinship and still feeling isolated from his magic brethren. there's something tragic about the way the prophecy makes him unable to connect to some of the people who would be best placed to understand him.

and gilli plants a small seed of doubt in merlin's mind. "You've been pretending for so long now that you've actually forgotten who you are" (!!)

but kilgharrah reassures merlin that there's a golden age coming. so merlin does what he has to do — he saves uther once again. before gilli leaves, merlin reassures him that one day they will be free.

he tells mordred the same:

"It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again."

and then, when he has the unique opportunity to use his influence on arthur to sway his opinion in the right direction. he fails.

he condemns himself, and the people he spoke to of freedom, to keep living in fear and in hiding — and what's even more upsetting, he does so while talking of a "just and fair kingdom"!

("You must protect the world you spent your life building, a just and fair kingdom for all." What an interesting choice of words. camelot isn't just and fair to all — as merlin knows well. he's lying to arthur, and possibly to himself.)

imagine being gilli or mordred and hearing him say that "there can be no place for magic in camelot." (!) What a slap in the face.

I've read meta suggesting that the disir were testing merlin just as much as arthur (or even more so than him). I'm inclined to believe it — I want to believe it. If anything because it makes the story all the more interesting and tragic. (I know what some are going to say — if mordred's destiny was to kill arthur, it would've happened anyway. but remember what else kilgharrah said — the future is never clear. there are many paths).

I understand why merlin did what he did, I really do. but for a moment, the fair and just kingdom he spoke of was within reach, and he failed to grasp it.

so was gilli wrong after all?

[and kara. I feel quite sympathetic towards her. we know arthur. she can't see him from our (merlin's) perspective. for her, he might as well be uther. magic people are still persecuted under camelot's law. she has spent her life on the run, she has seen people she loved be killed. and from our (arthur's) perspective, she looks like some kind of fanatic. but in reality. put yourself in her shoes. when arthur offers her a chance to save herself by "repenting" for her crime, she says she has nothing to repent for. "it is not a crime to fight for your freedom". that's the belief she's willing to die for. did she deserve to die for it?

(I also think there's an interesting parallel in merlin failing his kin in the disir, and arthur failing mordred in ep 5x11 by condemning kara to death. something about pinning all your hopes on someone who's going to fail you, and doom you both. idk idk.)]

sorry anon. you were saying

#merlin meta #more like brain vomit really #there is nothing particularly insightful in here #do you have an episode or a scene that makes you lose it #for me its that scene in the disir probably #I just [insert stick figure violence meme] when I think about it #many thoughts about merlin and the druids and those who knew him as 'emrys' #you have people like alator and finna - with an almost fanatic level of faith #but surely there must have been skeptics #druids who were like “what is he even doing. he's been in camelot for years” #“are we sure he's the right one” #it's just... from an outsider & skeptic perspective. merlin is a race traitor #defending uther and arthur like that #merlin iscariot #betrayal is such an interesting concept #but yeah I love it when he talks of freedom to his fellow oppressed sorcerers #bc it's easy to forget how much he suffers because of camelot's stance on magic #even merlin is so busy looking after arthur that he doesn't seem to have much time to dwell on his own oppression. if that makes sense #and meeting other sorcerers. it brings it back to the forefront #these are the people he's fighting for. brothers and sisters. #asks

[minamotoz]

the boy meets world writers creating the most heartbreaking narrative about growing up queer and closeted in 90's you've ever seen (it is entirely through subtext and poorly aged, sorta problematic jokes)

#boy meets world #im sorry im in my shory brainrot era again #i know i literally Never post abt BMW but i cannot stop thinking about this genuinely #i rewatched 4x12 aka the gayest episode and my brain is about to Explode #'its only natural' 'sure......natural' UR JOKING??????????????? #theyre so miserable bc of their own comphet yet they just. accept the fact that 'its always been this way and it'll always be this way' #they both long for normalcy and acceptance and they think that being straight is the only way to achieve that HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR M #like. cory chasing the white picket fence nuclear family fantasy with topanga and shawn chasing what cory and topanga have #bc theyre the most stable parts of his life #and so much of corys interest in girls is entirely reliant on keeping up with shawn #he starts crushing on girls bc shawn does. he starts dating girls bc shawn does. he wants to have sex w topanga bc he thinks shawns done it #FUCKING 'i always thought topanga was the one person i could live without but shes gone and uoure here and im alive so it must be you' #ARE UOU KIDDING ME #*couldnt #im sorry im judt word vomitting i just feel. Insane #this show and this ship make me go a bit cookoo bananas

[faehrys]

nah because people who watched the meet up vlog and then left the fandom after are stronger than me cause that video changed the trajectory of my life it will be ingrained in not just my brain but my whole body that video is in my veins have you ever seen a man happier than georgenotfound moving in with his two best friends after suffering for three years? no there is nothing better than that video it is a gift from the universe it’s a sign that happy endings exist and it’s all worth it every dark thing you went through there will be happy days and everything will be alright and george lives in florida now and wakes up with a smile every day no you guys are stronger than me

#i have a really big headache and this is just brain vomit #here you can have it

[bp-zb1fics]

Citing the source of my current conniption, pls take care of your mental health and don’t read the tags

#WTF #WHO R U #WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME #WHY #WTF WTF WTF #HOW DARE U #WHAT KIND OF HATE CRIME IS THIS #WHAT IS THIS VIOLENCE #SERIOUSLY WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS #CRYING SCREAMING VOMITING #IM LITERALLY HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN #WTF IS THIS #YOU NEED TO STOP #JAIL #CALL THE POLICE #THIS MAN HAS COMMITED A CRIME #MY BRAIN IS BROKEN #IM NAUSEOUS #IM LITERALLY SICK #I HATE IT HERE #SOMEONE TELL ME WHY #proper tags now to share the suffering #zhang hao #boys planet zhang hao #zb1 zhang hao #boys planet #zb1 #zerobaseone #boys planet edit #also no I have no bias I just have very violent feelings to express

[takethistoyourstardust]

Mage Ranks the JD2023E Map… Locked Out of Heaven

IT’S BLORBO TIME BITCHES. Um, I mean, we’re getting a bit dramatic now in our story line, as we meet Jack Rose, the flamboyant superstar son of our main villain!

MAP: Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars DIFFICULTY: Medium EFFORT: Moderate JD+ NEEDED?: No SEASON: Base game/Enter the dancerverses playlist

Category Seven Autism Event inbound under the cut! Seriously, though, this one is long, ramble-y, and overall just a big excuse for me to infodump the fuck out of this map. It might not make a lot of sense, but putting it all down made me happy, so I hope it makes you happy to read it :)!

--

I don’t need to tell you this song is good, right? It’s Bruno fuckin’ Mars, of COURSE it’s good! This song was actually pre-Uptown Funk, and it’s honestly one of his best songs from that time. I actually hated a lot of early Bruno Mars stuff (Grenade my beloathed), but now he’s probably one of my favorite vocalists. So yeah, I don’t need to tell you the song fucks! You already know that!

However, it’s the way that this song is used that fascinates me. The original context of the song is just “wanting to spend the night at someone’s house because they’re real good in the sack”, and the JD team saw that and went “But What If It’s About Parental Neglect” and ran with it. During the second verse, Night Swan’s face keeps taking over the background, that’s supposed to just be reflections of Jack dancing. And during that final chorus, after the first gold move where Jack is on his knees, and Night Swan Tower reveals itself, the jumbotrons that had Jack’s face on it are replaced by the tower’s visage, as the chorus sings “I’ve been locked out of heaven/for too long/for too long” and it fades back to his room, right where we started. Hell, even before that, he’s pointing to the audience during the lines “Can I just stay here?/Spend the rest of my days here?”, telling us in pretty fucking clear terms that his passion isn’t what he’s supposed to do, but what he wants to do - perform. He’s been locked out of heaven for too long, he’s been kept away from the love a mother should express for her child. And now he’s trying to find that happiness in his performance.

Speaking of, the routine! It’s fucking great! I think it’s ranked pretty fairly in terms of difficulty and effort, but if I can be honest, I found this routine shockingly easy. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, but after the technical nightmare that was Rather Be, and the (slight spoilers) upcoming technical nightmare that is Majesty, I would consider LOoH as almost a breather level. Almost, I say, if it wasn’t for the FIFTEEN SPINS you have to land. Seriously, between the one leg spin-hop, the full circle he makes during the chorus, and even the spin you have to do before the final Gold Move, there’s a reason a lot of people were joking that this song should’ve been called “Spinned Out of Heaven”. But maybe it’s the theater kid in me (it’s probably the theater kid in me), I didn’t find the spins all that difficult or demanding. And both the Gold Moves in this routine are fairly easy, with one being the jump you have to do at the start of the final chorus, and the other being the final move in the entire song, the hand raise that you started with. If I had to complain about one thing, I would say that I wish they had you “holding” the microphone in your right hand more. It’s easy for me to imagine holding the mic while doing certain moves, the bridge of the song being the most obvious, but most of the time it’s “in” your left hand when the game only tracks your right hand. It’s just a bit of a dissonance in my head, where it goes “wait, but i AM holding something in the right hand, why are you saying there’s something in my left?!”. But at that point, that’s just a nitpick.

The whole choreography tells us so much about Jack as a dancer. He’s flamboyant, he’s a showman, he lives for the dramatics. He knows how to work a crowd! His stage presence is amazing.

Speaking of! Jack Rose! The blorbo that has ruined my fucking life!!!

Quick note before I get into this... I’m not crazy when I say his name, Jack Rose, probably comes from the two main characters from Titanic, Jack and Rose, right?! No one else has pointed this out, not even the wiki, and I feel like I’m going fucking crazy. Like I know “Jack” is a very common guy’s name and “Rose” ties into the face his main color is red, but together? That’s a Titanic reference, baby! I’m not the only one who saw that, right?????

Anyways! Look at this man in his red suit, his stupid (affectionate) feather boa shoulder piece, his lipstick matching his hair, his gold glove, his stupid little microphone!!! All of this combined makes for one hell of a memorable character, at least for me. I love love love love LOVE monochrome character palettes, I love the mix of reds and blacks, I love it when random strappy things are on a character, I love a little pop of fur...

... wait a god damn second. Those are all the elements my ultimate blorbo of all time has!!!

(pictured: my ultimate blorbo of all time, aka my warrior of light in final fantasy xiv, ahrora, in her current outfit. note the reds, blacks, strappy things, and pop of fur. no matter what, she’s always gonna be my absolute favorite just because she’s my oc i poured so much into. don’t worry rora, you’re not getting replaced, you never could be <3) (it doesn’t help that her main class is quite literally dancer ALDFSKJAS;DFLKJASLD)

Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch, but I do adore red-coded characters, and honestly with the feathers it’s reminding me of one of my top 5 favorite characters of all time, Yamato Kazakiri from Animal Sentai Zyuohger, mostly because they’re both red and both give off Bird Vibes and not much else. But Yamato could sometimes serve this type of cunt. But now we’re getting twenty miles off from the topic so let’s get back the fuck on track.

Okay I’m sorry this is so much longer and more disjointed than the other reviews but this map makes me scream cry and throw up.

The map starts with Jack as a kid, dancing alone in his room. His mother, Night Swan, looks on, and motions in a way that says she’s disapproving of her son’s actions.

How it’s supposed to come off: Night Swan disapproves because Jack is supposed to be training to be the leader of her army, and shouldn’t have time for frivolous shit like “his own happiness”.

How it comes off to a lot of people: Night Swan disapproves because Jack is expressing his interest in a traditionally “feminine” hobby.

I’m not sure how many people related to that second interpretation, but I did see a LOT of people say that’s how they felt when they saw this cutscene for the first time. Personally, my interpretation was more like the first one; Jack wasn’t being absolutely perfect, and she thinks that if he’s not, he shouldn’t even bother. Of course, a bit of parental neglect never stopped anyone! It just traumatizes and yassifies you!

Honest to god, when I first saw this transition from his child self to his adult self, it made me gasp a bit, Even after his mother has expressed disapproval, he’s still going forward with being a performer. Sure, he is the main leader of her assimilated army, but he just wants to perform in front of people! And he loves it! And the audience loves him too!

But at the end of the day, the one person who he just wants to get some form of approval from won’t give it to him. He’s not good enough.

No, not good. She doesn’t care much for good.

He’s not perfect enough.

God, the love of performance and heartbreak over still not getting any love from his mother after all this time is portrayed so well by his dancer. Makes me feel extremely insane.

I think a question that’s fair to ask is “well if she wants Jack to follow all her orders, why not assimilate him, too?”. And I think the answer is twofold. One, she needs someone who’s able to make snap decisions outside of her own brain to lead her army successfully. If you’re left to your own devices, you may end up making a huge mistake you didn’t foresee. And secondly, no matter how much parental neglect she’s shown Jack, on some level she can’t bring herself to assimilate him because he is her son. She doesn’t care about his happiness, but she doesn’t want to lose someone who may potentially be the final tie to her life before Night Swan, since the dad seems to be M.I.A. And her disapproval of Jack being a performer might stem from her own insecurities of being a failed ballerina; she’s already gone through the pain and humiliation of trying to be a performer and failing, and she doesn’t want Jack to go through the same. Of course, there might be an element of jealousy there too. He IS a successful performer. He’s performing in front of an arena of people, for god’s sake! She’s seeing him live out a dream she couldn’t have, and wants to shut that down for him.

Many thoughts, head full, blorbo living in there.

Of course, by the end of the map, the Just Dancers make it through to where he’s staying...

But for now, that’s where our story must stop.

--

GENERAL RATING: THUMBS UP!!!!!!!!

SPECIFIC RATING: 10/10

Holy shit this is my favorite map in the whole game. I don’t give a shit. The choreography is fun and easy for a theater kid like me to grasp while still being genuinely challenging in a fair sense, the story of the map is told so well in less than five minutes, Jack Rose is just an iconic coach, everything about him just rattles my fucking brain like a cup of dice. Does he know how much I care about him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to top it all off, he gets a song that already fucked hard and gets it recontextualized to be about an emotionally distant, neglectful mother, and how he just wants that closeness with somebody, anybody, and that he just wants to perform!

He just wants someone close to him to care about it, too!

... Is that really too much to ask?

--

THANK YOU for reading, especially if you actually DID read my absolute fucking brain rot on a page and didn’t just scroll down to the end. No shame if you did, I would do the same LMFAO. Next time, we’re looking at the penultimate song in the playlist, Majesty! There’s no obligation to follow me (especially not after the absolute thesis i just wrote), but if you wanna see my rankings of all the other JD2023 maps, please stick around! I promise they won’t be as long/disjointed/nonsensical as this one ended up being! Have a good day!

~ Mage <3

#just dance #just dance 2023 #jd2023 #jack rose #jack rose just dance #mage's rankings of just dance 2023 maps #danceverses rankings #i need a just dance tag #SORRY FOR THE WORD VOMIT IN ADVANCE. THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY GOD DAMN SENSE. #the Mage rambles #i have a lot of thoughts about this man and i cannot succinctly word it to save my life #so you will have to be subjected to a glorified stream of thought #a lil behind the scenes here but i write these rankings late at night #it's almost 3 am on sunday and my brain is fucking BUZZING like crazy #also! cameo appearance from my most beloved oc ever! say hello to her or i will blow you up! #ANYWAYS THANKS FOR READING. I AM GONNA SCREAM MORE NOW <3

[allgremlinart]

@sapphic-wu-san idk why but this reminded me of this plot bunny I had for a fic that has the potential to be both ridiculous and gut wrenching.

Wherein Batmite (the bat stan supreme) just gets so frustrated with Bruce's loneliness that he 5th dimension magics him a perfect partner. Gives them a body, a mind, goals and dreams and everything perfectly suited to slot right into Bruce's life. Makes them so that it would be so easy for Bruce to fall in love with them, because they're perfect for him, and maybe he does start to fall for them but it was never going to work because he knows.

He knows that it doesnt make sense. For him to find someone like this. For them to accept all of him so easily, for them to fit into his life so smoothly. So he finds out because of course he does and Batmite shuffles off to the 5th dimension with another failed scheme under his belt and Bruce is in turmoil. Because he was so close.

If he could have just pretended. If he could have just ignored his gut he could have had a partner. Someone to lean on. But he couldn't. And he wonders, is there something wrong with me, that I can't just accept good things? Is there something wrong with me that the only person who would have stayed was someone who didn't exist?

#north im so sorry u do not deserve this brain vomit #but too bad ur my brain vomit victim tonight #also re: your 'single Bruce endgame' post #tbh I agree cus u made points and yes his platonic love I would argue is the most important thing about him narrative and character wise #but I AM a bit like Batmite here in that I wish he could have one person who he could like. lean on. and share things with. #the kids dont count with this I'm talking abt an equal. I think he deserves that. I think Alfred usuallu fills this place (platonically) tho #but he is very dead rn so im 😔