#hits him with a stick GO TO THERAPY. YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU. SPUR OF THE MOMENT ROMANCE IS NOT A HEALTHY SOLUTION TO YOUR SELF WORTH ISSUES

[crocodilenjoyer]

if sanji would just communicate, fully and truthfully, with his crew and allow himself to be loved as their friend and a member of their family and not by what he can do for them or the roles he’s supposed to be playing, i feel like he’d get hauled off and almost murdered by strange women less often

#sanji #op lb #riko.txt #hits him with a stick GO TO THERAPY. YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU. SPUR OF THE MOMENT ROMANCE IS NOT A HEALTHY SOLUTION TO YOUR SELF WORTH ISSUES #NOR IS IT SAFE OR SUSTAINABLE

[wonder-womans-ex]

Curtain Call

Act One, Scene Eight 

“I’m home!” Sirius calls, unlocking the door. 

It takes a few seconds, but then, “In here!” comes James’s voice from the living room. 

(‘Living room’ is probably a bit of a stretch, really, because ‘living room’ implies that there are also other rooms, and the fact of the matter is that they have two bedrooms and then a kitchen with a couch and a TV in one half and a table in the other.) (James is, evidently, in the designated couch half of the kitchen.) (Sirius had originally suggested calling it the ‘lounge,’ and it is a sad sign of how determined James is to grow up at least partially that this suggestion did not become a reality.)

Bending down to unlace his combat boots, he shrugs his backpack off and leaves it there on top of James’s checkered Vans and a pair of black sneakers he doesn’t recognize but probably belongs to him. 

He walks past the fridge, glances at the schedule held up by the J and S magnets they got from Peter when they moved into the apartment, and makes a mental note that he has his first rehearsal for Oliver tonight. 

“What’cha watching?” he begins, noticing the flicker of the TV screen, and then stops dead. 

There are a few moments of silence before Sirius grabs one of Elvendork’s catnip mice off the floor and chucks it at his younger brother. “You fucker!”

Regulus sits up from where his head had previously been resting on James’s lap. “Hello to you, too, Sirius.”

“You came to visit! And you didn’t tell me!” 

“In my defense, I didn’t even know I was coming until, like, ten this morning. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.” 

“Hey, they didn’t tell me, either. Just showed up at the door an hour or two ago, knocking like their life depended on it. I thought it was the police coming to tell me you’d been arrested. Or found dead in a ditch.”

“Shut up, James,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes. “Of course they didn’t tell you—I’m his brother.”

“Well, I’m the love of his life.” 

Regulus buries their face in James’s shoulder. “Why did I tell you that?” he groans, and Sirius glances between the two of them, blinking. 

“Wait. Are you two—”

“No,” they say in unison, which clears up absolutely nothing.

“...I think I’m missing something.” 

“You’re definitely missing something.”

(Yes, but what?)

He watches nervously as a significant look passes between them. It’s a conversation, really, but instead of words everything is communicated with eyebrow raises (mostly Regulus) and exaggerated winks (all James). 

Finally, Regulus lets out a huff of breath. “All right,” they say. “Fine!” 

James protests when Regulus climbs off the couch—not at the climbing off the couch part, but because he takes the blanket with him. The two stick their tongues out at each other, and Sirius feels his heart swell. He loves them both so fucking much, and he’s never been so glad that Reg managed to get out of that house, too. He’s not sure what he’d do without his little brother. 

The walk in silence towards Sirius’s bedroom, and Regulus immediately jumps onto the bed once the door is opened. They bounce slightly when their body hits the springy mattress, and they flop over onto their back to stare at the ceiling. 

“I came out to James,” he says, not bothering with pleasantries or preamble. Regulus never has been one for that—straight and to the point is the only way they really know how to do anything. 

“You dated James.” Tact, Sirius, he reprimands himself immediately inside his head. Just because your brother is a conversation heathen you don’t necessarily have to stoop to their levels. 

“Yes, I know I dated James. But… I’m not gay.” 

“Okay.” Sirius pauses, waiting to see if Regulus is going to elaborate further. They don’t, so he prompts, “Do you know what you are?”

“Yeah.” 

(So they’re doing this the hard way, are they? All right—Sirius can work with that.)

“I’m not gay,” Regulus says again. “I’m not pan or bi or any of those things. I’m… I’m asexual. And aromantic.” 

Sirius blinks. He takes this in. He nods. 

He says something that, in fifteen years, he will look back on and want to dunk his head in very cold water for. “But… James.”

“James.” Regulus nods, sighing heavily. “James is different. I don’t know how to explain it—I don’t love him anymore. But… I did. I used to. And I haven’t felt like that about anyone else, well, ever. Yeah.”

Before Sirius can say anything, Regulus starts talking again. “It’s like—what was it you used to say? In high school? ‘Having a crush on James Potter doesn’t make you gay. It makes you human.’ I loved James, but that doesn’t make me allo. Make sense?”

“Yeah. Wait, actually, one thing—so, James is the only person you’re ever loved? Romantically?” 

“Uh huh.”

“And you told him this?”

Regulus brings his hands up, covering his face. “I know. It was a mistake, okay? I should have known it would only inflate his ego even more. I feel like an idiot.”

“Yeah, because you are an idiot.” Sirius reaches over, swatting them on the shoulder. “But at least you’re not as big of an idiot as the guy who knowingly and willingly flirted with his ex today.”

“What?!” 

“Mm hmm. But that’s a story for another time.” Smirking, Sirius glances over his shoulder before beginning to walk backwards out of the room. 

“You fucker!” 

Reg chases him all the (admittedly very short) way back to where James is sprawled on the couch, clearly making good use of his friends’ absence. Finally, Sirius can see what’s playing on the TV—it’s Ocean’s Eleven, and it’s already at least a good half hour in. He and Regulus look at each other, identical smirks etched onto their faces. Together, they jump, and James yelps. 

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” Regulus tells him jokingly, and there comes a muffled groan from where James’s face is smashed into the pillows. 

Sirius makes sure that James can actually breathe before he starts to make himself comfortable. He’s perched on the small of James’s back; Regulus is settled in the gap between James’s feet. 

“Is this really,” James laments, “how you want to treat your best friend?”

“Yes,” Sirius says, and smothers a laugh. 

“And you, Reggie—have you no respect for the love of your life?”

Regulus pretends to think for a moment, then, “No,” they say. 

The muscles in James’s back tense suddenly, but Sirius doesn’t think much of it. He should, really, because barely an instant later, James heaves himself over, tipping both Black brothers onto the floor. 

“Ouch,” Sirius says, pouting. “My ass hurts.”

Regulus has an unbelievably shit-eating grin on their face. “Loser.” 

“I thought you were on my side!”

“I’m on no one’s side but my own.” 

This is a mistake, and Regulus knows it. His eyes widen when James and Sirius look at each other, nodding, and lunge forward. There is only one weakness to Regulus Arcturus Black, and the two of them know it better than anyone else in the world. 

Because Regulus may be coolly confident with a sharp sense of humour, but they are also extremely ticklish. Their shrieks and laughs are interrupted by the occasional ‘No!’ or ‘Mercy!,’ but it does nothing to quench Sirius and James’s combined ruthlessness. They are unstoppable, and Regulus can do nothing to beat them. 

George Clooney is shouting about something onscreen, but the three young men tussling pay him no mind. The movie plays on, forgotten, and Sirius lets himself forget—just for a moment—that Remus or heartbreak or that fucking writing class exist at all. 

***

“So,” James says through a mouthful of chow mein, “How was the class?”

“It was good.”

Regulus raises an eyebrow. “‘Good?’ You sound like a kid coming home from school to overly inquisitive parents.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d know all about that.” 

“Fuck off, they didn’t talk to you, either.”’

“Touché.” 

“Go on, Sirius,” James breaks in. “How was it?”

“It was better than last week, at least. Worse, too, I guess, but then it was better.”

“...Elaborate.”

He’s glad for the excuse to. He needs to talk to someone, and therapy’s an obvious no because he doesn’t have the money and also he has a bad track record of scaring therapists away on the first session, so James and Regulus are kind of the only options. (He’s not kidding anyone. He’s been dying to tell the two of them, specifically, for like forever, but Regulus hasn’t visited in ages.) “Well, I found out why Remus broke up with me. And then I met up with his friends at Frankie’s, and apparently they’re my friends now, too, which is cool, because at the moment my only friends are, well, you guys. Oh, and I helped set Marlene up with a girl.” 

There is a pause as both Regulus and James look at him, taking in this information. “Okay,” James says. “Do I want you to tell me more?”

Sirius pokes at his rice with one chopstick. “I dunno.”

“I—um—you mentioned you made some new friends?” continues James. Regulus stifles a laugh, and Sirius has to admit that the phrase ‘make some new friends’ sounds more fitting for a conversation with a grade three than a university student. “What are they like?” 

“Well, there’s Dorcas—the one who’s into Marlene—and she’s, like, the most extroverted extrovert to ever extrovert. Then there’s Frank, who doesn’t talk much, and Mary, who talks even less, but Mary’s got dyed hair so she’s all right, I guess. Alice is pretty cool, too, and then there’s Lily, who’s pretty but terrifying. Oh, and Fabian, who seems to be allergic to not being a nice person, and Caradoc, who I’m almost positive is related to Angelia Jolie because his cheekbones are just that sharp. And Remus, of course, but I’m sure I’ve told you guys enough about him to last a lifetime.” 

When he’s met by only silence, he scrambles for something to say. “They all strike me as the kind of people who would wear ‘gay rights’ t-shirts unironically, which is sort of my only prerequisite when it comes to friendship. Our resident emo not included, of course, because I would never want to force them into anything that isn’t some sort of My Chemical Romance merchandise.”

Regulus looks down at the shirt he’s currently wearing—it’s got the American Beauty/American Psycho album cover on the front—and then back up at Sirius. “Actually, this is Fall Out Boy.”

“Same difference.”

“How dare you.” 

Laughing, James spears another piece of broccoli and gestures with it between the two of them. “Reg, you can’t exactly blame him for his ignorance around your obsolete music tastes.”

“Says the guy who listens to the fucking Monkees—” 

“Fuck off! The Monkees were an icon; a legend—”

“The Monkees are trash.” 

“You’re trash!”

“Whoa, there,” Sirius breaks in. “I dodged a bullet when my only two friends in the world had a friendly breakup instead of an unfriendly one, and the last thing I want is to find out that that bullet is actually a boomerang.” 

Regulus groans. “Okay, first of all, we’ve always spent like fifty percent of our time arguing about music, even while we were dating—which you’d know if you hadn’t started avoiding the two of us like the plague the instant we got together.”

“Shots fired,” James says under his breath, but he’s immediately silenced by a glare from Regulus. 

“Secondly—and more importantly—if you ever make another analogy remotely like that one, I will hurt you. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Sirius assures them, but he’s struggling to hold back laughter. 

There’s a pause, and then Regulus crosses his arms, pouting. “What?” 

“Nothing.”

“You’re laughing.”

“Because you’re funny.”

“I’m not funny!”

“You’re cute.”

“I am not cute!”

“Yes, you are!”

Regulus turns on James once more. “James, am I cute?” Clearly, they think better of this, because they quickly add, “Wait, no, don’t answer that.”

“See, you’re cute! And you know it!”

“I give up!”

Sirius sits back in his chair. “You’ve lost, Reg. Admit it. And then get me a fortune cookie.”

“All right. Fine. I’ve lost. But I hope your fortune cookie tells you you’re going to get struck by lightning tomorrow.”

“Sweet; maybe I’ll get cool powers.”

“It doesn’t work like that, moron.”  

“Whatever you say.” 

For a moment, he thinks he’ll have to get the fortune cookies himself, because Reg isn’t going to, but then his little brother stands up and reaches into the brown paper bag on the counter. “Here,” they say, tossing the cookie at Sirius’s head. 

“Hey!” 

James gets a cookie, too, but his is placed on the table in front of him, not at all a threat to his health, well-being, and quite possibly his life. Sirius points this out, labeling it ‘favouritism,’ but Regulus only takes a bite of his cookie and calls him dramatic. 

“You first,” James says, nodding at Regulus, causing Sirius to gasp in betrayal. The other two pay him no mind, however, and Regulus clears his throat. 

“You will,” they say, “come into fair fortune or good will in the near future.” 

Almost immediately, James starts clapping. It’s tradition—after a fortune cookie reading comes the raucous applause. For them, it’s half the fun of ordering Chinese food. 

“All right, my turn.” James squints at the slip of paper in his hands. He holds it up to the light, and then, “Something will happen soon that will change how you look at the world.”

This time, Sirius and Regulus know to wait before they applaud. James always adds something funny after his fortunes, and they’re curious to see what it is he’ll come up with this time. 

“What,” he says, after a brief moment of thought, “will my glasses prescription change or something?”

Sirius looks at Regulus, and they both laugh as they clap. It’s cheesy, entirely too predictable, and basically the most James thing possible. Neither of them knows what really caused them to want to befriend James all those years ago in—oh fuck, it was grade four, wasn’t it?—but it sure as hell wasn’t his sense of humour. 

“Sirius?” It’s said like a question, and Sirius is quick to answer. “On it, Reg,” he says, and breaks his cookie in half with both hands. (Well, he says ‘half;’ it’s really more like a quarter and then the other three.)

He reads out his lucky numbers first, without even looking at the fortune itself—that’s his tradition; he’s the only one of the three of them who does it. “Three, thirteen, seventeen, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, forty.” 

“Isn’t that, like, the fifth time in a row you’ve gotten thirteen?” Regulus says. “That’s gotta mean something.”

“Shut up,” Sirius tells them, and finally he lets his eyes find the tiny lettering that is his fortune. 

Without letting himself hear the words in his head first, he reads them out loud. “You have forgiven easily in the past; it is time to do so again.”

There’s a silence. What is this? It’s not a fortune; it’s a statement. Advice, maybe, but even that’s stretching it a little.

“Well.” James says, and claps, Regulus following quickly after, but Sirius can tell it’s strained. They’re all obviously thinking about the same thing—Remus. 

Somewhere in his head, he knows that this doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s a fortune cookie, after all—what does it know? But… maybe it does mean something. He’s not sure which he’s hoping for. 

Seemingly just for something to say, James asks, “Don’t you have rehearsal tonight?”

Sirius is, in a way, glad for the excuse to stand up. “Yeah,” he says, “at seven-thirty—which is twenty minutes from now—so I should probably get going.”

“Probably,” agrees Regulus, as they begin to clear the table. “Need a ride?”

“Nah, I can take the bus,” Sirius begins, and then stops. “Wait, why are you offering? You don’t have a car.”

“Um—”

“Reg, is there something you aren’t telling me?” 

“...Maybe?”

“You have a car?”

“I mean, technically it’s a rental, so no, but—”

“Whatever.” Sirius doesn’t need to hear any more. “Yes, please, take me to rehearsal.”

James makes a noise of protest. “What, and leave me here alone?” 

“Yes, James; you can survive on your own. You’re an adult.”

“I don’t feel like one.”

“Or act like one,” Sirius adds under his breath, which earns him a definitive not helping look from Regulus. 

“You’ll be fine as long as you don’t burn the house down. Goodbye.”

Sirius grabs his script and his blue hoodie with the picture of a rubber duck on it from his bedroom, and when he walks back through the kitchen to the front door, Regulus looks him up and down once and hands him his backpack. 

The only sound that accompanies their walk down the hall and subsequent elevator ride is the faint jingling of the key ring in Regulus’s hand. It’s not until they’re in the car and pulling out of the parking lot that Regulus says, “And you’re all right with this?”

“All right with what?”

“Me being… you know.”

“A total asshole? No. Aroace? Yeah, of course. I’m your brother. I’m here for you, Reg.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

(Sirius ignores the ‘I guess.’) “Is James cool about it? Because if he isn’t, I’ll kick his ass.”

“No, he’s fine. He’s great. He made a couple jokes about himself having raised my expectations so much I could never be with anyone else, but that’s just James.” 

“That’s just James,” Sirius repeats. “And you know that you can always talk to me, right? If anyone tries to mess with your head?”

“Yeah. Now, enough about me. Let’s talk about the guy who ‘knowingly and willingly flirted with his ex’ earlier.”

Damn. He’s hoped Regulus had forgotten about that. 

For a moment, Sirius is trapped between the want to stubbornly refuse and the need to actually talk about his feelings. He settles on the latter, but not until they’re close enough to the rec centre where rehearsals are held that he knows he can hop out of the car and walk the rest of the way if need be. “He’s just… he’s everything, you know?

“And I know that he doesn’t want to get back together, and I know that we really shouldn’t even if he did. But he’s Remus. And I’m constantly flip-flopping back and forth between wanting to be his friend because we’ll never be anything more than that, and…”

“And what?”

“Being so in love with him it hurts.”

Regulus glances away from the road ahead for a split second, eyes flickering over Sirius's face, their expression unreadable. “Sounds like a you problem,” they say finally. 

“Reg?”

“Yeah?”

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.” 

“I just—my eyes basically turn to hearts whenever I look at him, but it also hurts, you know? Because he broke up with me, obviously, but also because today I found out that the reason he broke up with me was that he kissed someone else, so obviously that’s kind of shitty, and I don’t know how to feel about any of this because he’s basically the nicest person in the world, and can one mistake really change who a person is? But he also hasn’t tried to make up or anything, and we’re apparently pretending we’ve never met, and did I mention he’s got a fucking tattoo of the Sirius constellation that he never told me about, and… this is my stop.”

Regulus pulls over, wincing a little as the tire grates against the curb, and then turns to meet Sirius’s gaze. “So, it sounds like you’re not in a great place right now,” he says. “And I get that. You know this goes both ways, right? You can always talk to me, too.”

“I know. Love you.” He grabs his backpack, making sure it’s got everything he needs in it—phone, script, highlighter and pencil for notes and directions, bottle of red Gatorade—and closes the door. 

The window rolls down slightly, and Sirius watches his own reflection disappear with it and be replaced by his brother’s faint smile. “Love you, too,” Regulus says, and then he is gone.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #james potter #regulus black #cw food #james and sirius are bros #he/they regulus black #regulus black is an emo I don't make the rules #university au #muggle au #post-breakup #actor!sirius #I don't know how I feel about this chapter

[onestowatch]

Boy Willows Drops Dreamy Music Video for "Fila" [Q&A]

Boy Willows, aka Landon Fleischman, makes music that offers a deep amalgamation of incandescent alt-pop, jubilant jazz, and psychedelic-tinged folk. Impeccably paired with sensory lyricism and passionate vocals, he delivers a hypnotic and singular resonance.

The LA-via-Maryland artist recently shared his new single "Fila" with Dylan Minnette of Wallows. On "Fila," Boy Willows stretches out to embrace relatable themes of vulnerability and healing both inwardly and outwardly without feeling overbearingly serious. "Fila" serves as a therapy session between two friends as they cope with being alone in different ways. Nestled in a warm and gentle soundscape, the sonic components are woven with nostalgia, charm, and a bit of whimsy. We caught up with Willows for a quick Q&A about the track and the equally nostalgic and whimsical music video directed by Boy Willows, shot by Seannie Bryan (Madeline Kenney, Skullcrusher) and edited by Jordan Pories.

Ones to Watch: This song, although short and sweet, seems to have a lot of complexity to it. It sounds like throughout the single, the main characters are grappling with feelings of loneliness and figuring out how to cope. What is this song about to you, and how did this song come to be?

Boy Willows: I think both verses deal with the thoughts that bubble up when you feel useless, small, or alone, but what I love about the song is there's a twinge of hope. My goal with Fila was to spur myself into believing that I could create my own reality of acceptance and momentum. I had been feeling isolated a while before the pandemic hit - on the perimeter looking in on other people's social circles or relationships or success. My hope was that by acknowledging these truths in a song, I could start to take up my own space, make my own club of acceptance per se.

What was the creative process like for the single? What made you want to go for this very ethereal sound, and were you inspired by anything in particular?

I worked on this super grand, minute-long glitchy harmony thing and pitched it down an octave (oooo). It was so soothing and slow and big, I started producing around it, and I felt like I was in a dream where I could say anything I wanted, no matter how heavy or light.

What are your thoughts on girls that wear Fila?

Haha, in short, they're cool. This song is truly a peek into all the thoughts that were swirling around my brain, making me feel alone - and one of those thoughts was about aging. I wish this wasn't the truth, but I was feeling fear about getting older. I wrote that line about Filas and didn't think much of it or even really understand why I wrote it until a couple nights ago. It's definitely a light-hearted observation about youth culture, but I think I wanted to poke fun at it cuz I felt like I wasn't a part of it for the first time - and that frightened me. It's insane that even that line was born out of the fear of being left out, but I'm pretty sure that's the true true.

I loved not only the sonic atmosphere you created, but also the story of you told through the lyrics. Do you have a favorite verse from this track or one that speaks to you? What is your approach when it comes to songwriting?

I just love how much the endings of each verse stick out - "I just feel like I don't deserve this life." It's a line you could interpret so many different ways, and each way would be true. When I'm working on a song, it starts with the music. I picture where it takes me, how fast I'm moving, if I feel cool or angry or defeated, and if I'm lucky, a phrase will fall out of my mouth that feels true, even if it doesn't make sense at first.

I think the music video does a great job of visualizing the lightheartedness of "Fila." What was the creative process like, and what was it like working with your team on the video?

There's this fucking incredible animated video called Satiemania from 1978 made by this Croatian animator, Zdenko Gašparović. In it, there's a delectable section where it's just different shoes walking in an impossibly groovy way. I wanted that tone of animation mixed with the camaraderie and fuckit-energy of The Pharcyde's "Drop" music video. I brought those ideas to my genius creative friend/ shaman, Jordan Pories, and we got to work, exploring the world of the song, trying to amplify and showcase everything in a dreamy, slow way. Seannie Bryan is a recent friend of mine and a killer DP. She captured the dreamy light perfectly. We rolled up to the spot at 6am. It was 90 degrees, and we knocked it out in an hour and a half, only stopping once because I was going to throw up from spinning.

Dylan Minette's voice perfectly compliments the laid back yet introspective vibe of the song, and it looked like y'all had a lot of fun doing the music video. What was working with him like, and how did he get involved with this single?

He and I go way back. We used to be in rival boy scout gangs. No, I do lighting for Wallows, and we met through that. One day on the tour bus, I was showing him some new tunes, one of which was "Fila." It was 35 seconds, and he said it needed to be longer, so I said, "hop on in." He added his verse, and we were OFF TO THE RACES. He's got a really strong creative compass and just knows what he likes. We finished the song in a couple days - fucking painless, dare I say, very enjoyable bordering on a lot of fun.

Tell me about Desert Mike. I feel like although rattlesnakes do deserve some love and I agree that the war between them and human beings is senseless, I'm not exactly in a rush to give them a pat on the head...Ok, but for real, tell me about this clip at the end. Is it an easter egg for a future single? In your last single, "i love it when you talk," you intercut the clips of you with film footage from the 80s and 90s. Is Desert Mike a Boy Willows creation or a relic from the past?

SHEESH, am I paying you?? because if not, then I SHOULD. The Boy Willows canon is a long, meandering labyrinth of characters that doesn't conform to traditional standards of "time" or "being funny" or "good. Desert Mike exists in all Boy Willows worlds, though, this much I can say. In the ILIWYT video, Desert Mike easily could have made a feature, and now I want to know who you've been talking to...your ability to connect the dots is...suspicious.

Has the pandemic effected you or inspired you as an artist? If so, how?

Really hot take comin at ya, I think the pandemic is not good. Bad even! I lost my job, so financially, I've been very inspired to survive haha. This isn't the sexiest answer, but the truth for me is, I put everything into my music but am also looking for a job - sometimes balancing those two things is really fucking hard. Instead of feeling inspired to write about my difficulties, I just want to solve them. So I'm really looking forward to landing a part-time gig as a call representative for Spirit Airlines, so I can get back to making my music.

Once the world comes to a state of a new normal, what's the first thing you want to do?

I'd love to travel somewhere new with my friends. A friend of mine is living in New Zealand working on an alpaca farm. You bet your ass I'm flying there at the first chance.

Alternate fun idea: Get a table at a restaurant, deep in the back, as far inside as possible. Order one appetizer every 30 minutes and stay there for a minimum of nine hours, just being so loungey and just snacking hard, mozzarella sticks flying every which way, napping in marinara sauce.

When shows and concerts are back, who do you want to see, and who do you want to tour or play with?

When touring comes back, I would LOVE to tour with Jadu Heart, Far Caspian, Sure Sure, to name a few. I just want to crowd surf for a month straight honestly. Give a ton of sweaty hugs. I want to see Toro y Moi, Thumpasaurus, Squirrel Flower.

Who have you been listening to throughout the pandemic? Are there any Ones To Watch?

A lot of Tribe Called Quest for long drives. I'll put "Check The Rhime" on repeat. I just discovered this dude named Shuttle his song "Boy" is fucking groooovy. I'm an OG KT Tunstall stan too - I've been bumping her 2013 album "Invisible Empire" like a mad man. Kevin Morby for the campy vibes, Rufus for the stank, Lomelda for the love, Van Morrison because if I get married, my first dance will be to "Crazy Love," and I like to daydream about that when I drive. Last but most important, The Prince of Egypt soundtrack.

Oh also, I've been listening to a lot of Anna Burch, Far Caspian, Bea1991, a compilation of geese wearing hats, Mei, Shuttle and this new artist you HAVE to listen to - he's a little out there but give him a try, Drake.

#Boy Willows #Fila #Dylan Minette

[podcake]

Podcast Teatime: The Question Session

A very welcome February day to you all! This is my first Q&A of the new year and I thought no one was better to pick for this beloved series than the creator of The Bright Sessions podcast, Lauren Shippen. 

I’ve been itching to know what this starlet in the podcasting scene has to say about her work on the show, her muses, and what she might have in store for us in the future. 

(The following is a direct copy-and-paste from the email)

Hi PodCake! 

Thanks for reaching out! Here are my answers: 

Question One: What drove you to make the series have therapy as a central plot point? Is it more of a framing device for the overall narrative or is there a more specific reason?

It definitely started as a very convenient framing device. Everyone knows what therapy is, and has an idea of what happens there, so there wasn’t a complicated premise or world that the audience needs to buy into. It also gave me the excuse to keep things confined to two people in one room - those kinds of scenes can be hard to keep active, but with therapy as an activity in of itself, the audience doesn’t get bored (hopefully). 

But ultimately, I wanted to write something that would allow characters to really discuss their feelings and delve into their own emotional lives. People rarely do this in their actual lives, but therapy provides this space. 

Question Two: Is there an ultimate plan you have for your overall story or do you simply make things up as you go along? 

It’s a little bit of both. My writing is always very focused on character, rather than plot, so I usually think about where I want to take the characters and build the plot around that. There are some exceptions to this (which I won’t identify here because: spoilers), but I’m rarely thinking about the big plot machinations first. 

As I start to map out a season, I have a target that I’m trying to hit, whether it’s a reveal about a character, a big change in the dynamic of the group, etc. I then start to write the season with that target in mind, but how I get there is discovered along the way. This has meant that some things have changed pretty drastically from when I started out, but it has also led to some really exciting, organic discoveries about the characters themselves. 

Question Three: Your show has a very interesting cast of characters. Is there a specific character you have the funnest time writing for? Whose the hardest character to put on paper?

I think this shows in his scripts, but I love writing Caleb. That’s why his scripts are usually at least 5 pages longer than everyone else’s. I like getting my brain into that teenage boy voice and I love the contradictions that Caleb contains - he’s smart, but so often oblivious; he’s very caring, but he also has an anger problem; he wants to talk about his feelings, but he can be so bad at communicating. 

I’m also really enjoying writing both Mark and Wadsworth this season. Mark is such a cheery, charismatic person who has been through so much trauma - balancing who he is by nature with what has happened to him is a fun challenge. Wadsworth is just…she’s awesome, and so unbelievably arrogant, but has reason to be, and that’s a lot of fun to write. 

Chloe is definitely the hardest to write. She’s constantly having at least two conversations: the one that’s happening out loud and the one she’s participating in in her head with everyone’s thoughts. Chloe is always at least one step ahead of everyone she’s talking to, so balancing each of those conversations and thinking about how what she’s hearing is affecting her own emotional state can be really difficult. 

Question Four: I tend to use The Bright Sessions as a great example of expressive and effective acting in audio drama and I’m curious as to where you found so many wonderful actors. Did you already know them all or did you seek them out yourself?

I am lucky enough to live in Los Angeles, where I am surrounded by incredible actors that the big shots haven’t discovered yet. Most of the cast are from an acting class I’ve been taking at The BGB Studio for three years. Julia (Dr. Bright), Briggon (Caleb), Charlie (Damien), Andrew (Mark), Phillip (Frank), and Alanna (Rose) all go to that studio and that’s where I met them. 

Anna (Chloe) and I met in a UCB class three years ago, and she introduced me to Ian and Alex M., who play Agent Green and Wadsworth respectively. Briggon, appropriately, introduced me to Alex G., who plays Adam. And then we have Reyn, who plays Charlie Decker, and who I know from ars Paradoxica, which our sound producer, Mischa Stanton, created. So it really is a family affair.

Question Five: The Bright Sessions has been achieving a lot of success in the podcast community over the few years it’s been out. Did you expect it? What do you attribute this success to? 

I definitely did not expect it. I certainly hoped that people would listen, and had lofty goals to have tens of thousands of subscribers, but when we started out I assumed that was a pipe dream. I - and I think this applies to everyone else involved as well - have been delightfully surprised by its success at every turn. In just the 15 months we’ve been doing this, we’ve had so many people listen and send us messages and draw fanart and be enthusiastic, and we are incredibly grateful. 

I wish I could tell you that we followed a very specific set of steps to have a successful podcast, but I honestly have no idea how we’ve gotten to where we are. Obviously, I’m proud of the show - I wouldn’t make it if I thought it wasn’t good - and I think people should listen, but I’m still surprised by how it’s taken off. I spent a lot of time in the early days on Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, etc., just trying to get people to listen and I think putting in those hours really helped. And then I think it’s just been a lot of dumb luck of the right people finding us. 

Being featured in different publications and on iTunes has really helped people find us and those features came up more or less organically - thankfully, there are people out there who actively seek out audio drama and then write about what they like. But mostly, I think the show has done well because we’re telling stories about characters a lot of people can relate to. I’ve certainly made an attempt to write something that is engaging and compelling, but having the actors that we have to bring these characters to life is, I think, our biggest asset. 

Question Six:  What drove you to make this into an audio drama? Do you have any inspirations you’d like to credit?

The reason for making The Bright Sessions an audio drama was two fold. First, there was the practical reason: making an audio drama is far less expensive than making something for film. I needed to be able to do every step myself - the writing, the recording, the post-production - on a tight budget. Audio drama was the solution. 

Second, the creative reason: I like the freedom of interpretation that audio drama provides. I’ve been in fandom spaces for a long time and, though I’ve never been a creator of fan works myself, I’ve always loved consuming them. The wonderful thing about audio dramas is the variety of listener interpretations they spur. Listening to an audio drama is like reading a book - you can fully immerse yourself and imagine the world and the characters however you like. Creating something that encouraged that kind of imagination really appealed to me. There were many creative reasons for sticking to audio, but this was the one I was most excited about.

While there aren’t any direct inspirations for the content of The Bright Sessions, Welcome to Night Vale and BBC Radio’s Cabin Pressure were the two pieces of audio fiction that I listened to before writing The Bright Sessions. WTNV is simple - mostly just one man talking into a microphone, with music. Cabin Pressure is elaborate - multiple scenes with different soundscapes and effects each episode, recorded in front of a live audience, big name actors. I didn’t have the dough for a BBC-like production and I think Night Vale only works as a mostly one-man show because of the magical combination of Cecil Baldwin, Cranor & Fink’s writing, and Disparition’s music. 

That formula is impossible to replicate. When thinking about how I wanted to tell a story through audio, these shows were my two reference points and helped me find the middle ground in which The Bright Sessions exists. 

BONUS: Has creating The Bright Sessions been a major impact in your life? How have things changed for you?

Oh boy, has it ever. The Bright Sessions has become my life. It started as a side project - a way for me to try my hand at writing and do some acting with a couple of friends. It has now turned into a full-time job (or, more accurately, three full-time jobs). On a practical, macro-career level, doing this podcast has completely changed the way I approach my professional life. Whereas before I was mainly an actor, I’m now a “writer/creator”. 

People like the thing I make and they write about it and invite me to come places and talk about it and that could not be more different from the life of general obscurity I lived as an actor. I’m by no means famous or even known outside of podcast circles, but I do feel that I am beginning to experience a level of recognition that is exciting and weird and genuinely a bit confusing. Also on the practical side, the success of the show has opened a lot of doors to me in entertainment that were previously closed. You’ll have to stay tuned on where that leads, because I certainly can’t predict at the moment.

On a personal level, The Bright Sessions has given me so, so much. It’s given me the opportunity to work with people I deeply admire and grow something with them. I cannot ever express how rewarding that is. Beyond the friendships that doing the show has strengthened, and the amazing work I’ve been able to observe in these actors, the show has, funnily enough, been very good for my mental health. Creating the character of Sam was like giving my own anxiety a voice. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend acting out panic attacks for everyone who struggles with anxiety (those scenes are hard) but for me, it has been extremely cathartic. 

Sam and I are very different people in what we want out of life, but our anxieties are the same. It is such a relief to be able to write a scene in which Sam explains why going outside or talking to people or feeling a certain way is terrifying. I now have something to point to and say, “this is who I am, this is how it feels sometimes to just go to the grocery store, these are my fears” and, while that is a vulnerable and frightening thing to lay bare, it has been oddly healing. 

And then to get messages from people saying, “I relate to Sam so much, thank you for her, I feel less alone now” is truly moving for me. It makes me feel less alone and I am unbelievably grateful for that. 

And, mixing the practical and the personal, doing The Bright Sessions finally made me get my act together and actually start going to therapy last year. I thought it was time for me to practice what I preach.

Such elegance. Such confidence. Such charisma towards her field! I want to thank Miss Shippen for doing this Q&A with me and to you all for reading this.

I say you make your appointment pronto and take a listen to The Bright Sessions for yourself. This has been PodCake, end recording.

#the bright sessions #podcast #lauren shippen #looking at the BRIGHT side today #ha ha #q&a #podcast teatime

[medproish]

A military veteran who received a penis transplant also undergoes physical therapy to regain his strength. Andrew Mangum for The New York Times

BALTIMORE — In a 14-hour operation, a young military veteran whose genitals were blown off by a bomb received an extraordinary transplant: a penis, scrotum and portion of the abdominal wall, taken from a deceased organ donor.

The surgery, performed last month at Johns Hopkins Hospital, was the most complex and extensive penis transplant to date, and the first performed on a combat veteran maimed by a blast.

Two other successful penis transplants have been performed — in South Africa in 2014 and at the Massachusetts General Hospital in 2016 — but they involved only the organ itself, not the scrotum or surrounding flesh. This latest operation transplanted a single piece of tissue that measured 10 inches by 11 inches and weighed four or five pounds.

This is an evolving branch of medicine spurred in large part by the wounds of war — particularly the blast injuries from improvised explosive devices, or I.E.D.s. The medical teams in Baltimore and Boston have spent years preparing for the surgery, practicing on cadavers and refining their techniques.

The patient at Johns Hopkins is just one of many soldiers whose lives were shattered in a split second when they stepped on hidden bombs in Iraq or Afghanistan. He lost both legs above the knee, but the genital damage was even more devastating to him.

“That injury, I felt like it banished me from a relationship,” he said in an interview last week. “Like, that’s it, you’re done, you’re by yourself for the rest of your life. I struggled with even viewing myself as a man for a long time.”

But now, four weeks after the surgery, he said, “I feel whole again.”

He asked that his name not be published, because of the stigma associated with genital injuries. Except for his immediate family and a few close friends, he has told no one about the nature of his wounds, he said.

Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, the chairman of plastic and reconstructive surgery at Johns Hopkins, said the goal of this type of transplant is “to restore a person’s sense of identity and manhood.”

The patient chose not to be identified because of the stigma associated with genital injury. Andrew Mangum for The New York Times

For most men, that means regaining the ability to urinate while standing up and to have sex. Dr. Lee thinks transplantation can make both possible, though healing and nerve regeneration will take time. Urination is expected first, within a few months. Nerves grow from the recipient into the transplant at the rate of about an inch a month.

“We’re hopeful we can restore sexual function in terms of spontaneous erection and orgasm,” Dr. Lee said.

Although the scrotum was transplanted, the donor’s testes had been removed for ethical reasons: Keeping them might enable the recipient to father children that belonged genetically to the organ donor, something not considered acceptable by medical guidelines.

Because the recipient’s own reproductive tissue was destroyed, he will not be able to have biological children. He takes testosterone to compensate for the loss of his testes, and is being treated with another drug, Cialis, to encourage erectile function.

How many men might need this type of transplant is not known. Data from the Defense Department show that more than 1,300 men sustained so-called genitourinary injuries in Iraq and Afghanistan, and that 31 percent of those injuries involved the penis.

About 20 percent of the penile injuries were considered severe — but how many might warrant a transplant is not clear. Women in the military have also suffered genitourinary and reproductive injuries, but they are less common.

Teams at Johns Hopkins and at the Massachusetts General Hospital are both evaluating more candidates for the surgery — some hurt in the military, others affected by accidents or illness. But it can take a long time to find a matching donor — the Johns Hopkins patient waited more than a year on the transplant list — so no rush of operations is expected.

The Department of Defense has funded some of the research, but Johns Hopkins is paying for the first operation, which Dr. Lee estimated would cost from $300,000 to $400,000. The surgeons — nine plastic and reconstructive surgeons, and two urologists — worked for free.

Dr. Lee said he hoped for grants from the Pentagon to help pay for future operations, and also for insurance coverage, which is not available now for this type of transplant.

Johns Hopkins Medicine

After the explosion that injured the soldier, he remained conscious, he remembered, but knew he was sinking into shock. He passed out on the medevac helicopter. His next memory was waking up in the United States, relieved to be alive.

Soon, the gravity of the damage hit. A military doctor told him it was permanent and irreparable.

“That was crushing, but when he walked away I thought, he hasn’t been a doctor long enough, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” the patient said. “You got all this technology, how can you tell me this is permanent? There’s got to be something.”

He felt isolated, even in the hospital among other wounded soldiers.

“There were times you’d be hanging out and guys would be talking about getting hurt, and that’s one of the first things when they get blown up, to check down there, and they would say things like, ‘If I lost mine I’d just kill myself,’” he said. “And I’m sitting there. They didn’t know, and I know they didn��t mean any offense, but it kind of hits you in the gut.”

He struggled with thoughts of suicide, he said: “When I would actually think about killing myself, I would think, ‘Am I really just gonna kill myself over a penis?’”

He learned to walk with prosthetic legs, left the hospital and lived on his own in an apartment. But he had trouble connecting with other people, and even when he no longer needed OxyContin for physical pain he kept taking it to numb his emotions.

He managed to wean himself off it. He saw a therapist. He earned a college degree and began making plans to attend medical school.

But relationships or even dating felt out of the question. If he got close to someone, he would have to disclose his wounds, and the thought filled him with anxiety.

“It is a lonely injury,” he said.

In 2012, he began consulting Dr. Richard J. Redett, the director of pediatric plastic and reconstructive surgery at Johns Hopkins, about a procedure to create a penis from his own tissue, possibly the skin on the inside of the forearm.

That operation makes urination possible, but requires an implant to achieve an erection. The procedure was appealing, but Dr. Redett also mentioned a future possibility that seemed much more promising: a transplant.

Hospitalized since the operation a month ago, the patient may be ready to go home in the next week or so. Andrew Mangum for The New York Times

“Basically, if you do a transplant, you’re going to have the real thing again,” the patient said.

He decided to wait.

He passed an exhaustive screening process. Certain nerves and blood vessels have to be intact, along with the urethra, the tube that carries urine out of the body.

Candidates also have to qualify psychologically — to be able to understand the risks and benefits and stick to their anti-rejection medicine, as well as have a family or other support network.

Families of organ donors are asked specifically for permission to use the penis, and past requests have been made for research purposes. Carisa M. Cooney, a clinical research manager in plastic and reconstructive surgery at Johns Hopkins, said that when families hear that the goal is to help wounded veterans, many consent.

In this case, the donor’s family sent the soldier a message via New England Donor Services: “We are all very proud that our loved one was able to help a young man that served this country. We are so thankful to say that our loved one would be proud and honored to know he provided such a special gift to you. As a family, we are very supportive of all the men and women who serve our country and grateful for the job you did for this nation. Please know that this is truly a heartfelt statement, as we have several veterans in the family. We hope you can return to better health very soon and we continue to wish you a speedy recovery.”

The donor was from another state, and three surgeons from Johns Hopkins — Dr. Redett, Dr. Damon Cooney and Dr. Gerald Brandacher — flew there by private jet to operate on him, an exacting procedure to remove precisely the tissue that would be needed.

They had to coordinate with teams from other institutions who were collecting other organs, and at times there were 25 people in the operating room, Dr. Brandacher said. Part of his role was to remove nine vertebrae from the donor, to provide stem cells that the Johns Hopkins team would infuse into the recipient to help prevent rejection and minimize the amount of anti-rejection medicine needed.

The patient said that before the surgery, he wondered if he would accept the new body parts, mentally and emotionally.

“What tripped me out at first is sometimes I would get a thought like, ‘Am I going to be able to see it as my own?’” he said. “That thought would creep in. But once I had it done, that’s the only way I see it. It’s mine.”

Looking ahead, he sketched out his hopes.

“Definitely, to do well in school, to go to medical school and follow my career as a doctor, find my niche in the field and just excel at it. Maybe settle down and maybe eventually find someone, and get into a relationship, maybe. Just that normal stuff.”

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

The post 'Whole Again': A Vet Maimed by an IED Receives a Transplanted Penis appeared first on trend views word.

#IFTTT #WordPress