#honestly I should just quit now

[happy-lemon]

WAKE UP

Eliana: Why are you dressed like Marvin Gaye?

CJ: You were listening to Diana Ross again, weren't you?

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CJ: I look pretty fly though, right?

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Eliana: Makes me wish you were still alive. Then again, I wish that all the time.

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CJ: What's troubling your mind.

Eliana: I'm lonely.

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CJ: Any guy would be lucky to have you.

Eliana: But none of them are you.

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CJ: You can't let that hold you back, El. I don't want you to be alone on my account.

Eliana: I just can't imagine loving anyone the way I love you.

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CJ: That's the thing, babe...you can't. Every love is different.

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CJ: It's okay if you want to find a new man. Just promise me you'll find someone who loves Soraia, too. Someone who takes better care of you than I did.

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Eliana: Don't say that. I should have taken better care of you.

CJ: My faults were not your fault. Just promise.

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Eliana: I promise.

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CJ: It's time to wake up.

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Makoa: Hey, Eliana. It's time to wake up...your rideshare is here.

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #eliana machado #cj fontaine #makoa wells #honestly I should just quit now #i'll never make a better post than this one

[princeyam]

finally posting my piece for @sheikzine ⭐️ i drew sheik from retro studios canceled sheik game!

#the legend of zelda #zelda #loz #sheik #ocarina of time #retro studios #sheik zine #honestly i was starting to type out a long sappy post about my experience with the zine but ill save that for the donation post #btw we are so sorry that its been so long and we havent posted it ajchjshdjsndjjddm #we literally donated the money in jan #there were a few factors that just prevented us from completing the donation post... but it should be up in a few days #were aiming for sheik day! since were already late might as well do it on his day #anyway about the actual drawing #ngl there are some things i wouldve done differently now #but im still quite happy with it!! #kellen and i both did canceled sheik pieces so you should check his out too #ALSO... if yall are still reading #im going to be opening comms soon! #i literally did up a comm sheet today #finally after so many years im opening comms... i hope youll support me!

[coquelicoq]

after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.

#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA #i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol #but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be #and sent him this text #and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason #i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process #but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol) #and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it #which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this #but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me #sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time! #and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends #it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay #baby steps! working on it! #i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know #so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things #but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this

[vvelegrin]

i'm really enjoying pathologic 2, actually. i mean, i didn't think i wouldn't enjoy it as much as i was worried it would just, i don't know, muddy the water. and maybe it will, but i'm not really bothered by that anymore. that said, i do think patho 2 took a fairly unsubtle game and increased its unsubtlety by about tenfold.

well. calling og pathologic 'unsubtle' doesn't feel quite right, but i'm not sure what word would feel right. maybe it's 'distinct in its sensibilities'. I think og patho felt more obtuse, whereas patho 2 is like. here. take it. do you get it. here is the information. do you see the themes. i am announcing them to you in such a way that you know that i am saying something thematic. i'm not far enough into the main story of 2 to be able to say that there's less reading between the lines, but it feels very much so far like there's less reading between the lines. whereas the original had a somewhat different... i don't know, affect? it felt like a hostile workplace where everyone recited shakespeare about even the mundane. in patho 2 nothing feels mundane in the first place, everything feels loaded in a way that og patho was but didn't feel, if that makes sense.

but i think that's okay. at the very least, it feels very much like leaning into the 'theater' aspect of it, which is enjoyable. pathologic 2 feels to me more like... bonus content? not to be Stuck Up For Pathologic HD but i enjoyed the feeling of grinding my face against a cinderblock, having to tease out information and conclusions. it felt like a game that you had to figure out, but you actually weren't really doing any ground-level figuring out of much; you're not a doctor, your character is, so the puzzle of Solving the Plague belongs to The Story, whereas the question of What the FUCK is This Town's Deal is your job. it's a very linear game in most respects, but all three playthroughs come through as a thematic package deal.

i so far get the impression that pathologic 2 can be played on its own and be enjoyed in its own right! however it exists to me as like. director's commentary. i'm really liking the playing with different character relationships and alternate things, the expanding of steppe language and the kin, love my worm guys, but i like it because of how it enriches my eternal mind rotation of og pathologic. sorry guys i played the original pathologic and it broke me and remade me in its image. sorry.

#sorry to be the quintessential 'guy who played pathologic and now doesn't stop thinking about pathologic' #i'm having a lot of fun trying all of the different things in marble nest though #i do worry in general that the inclusion of sprinting and fast travel will really fuck up my flow #the walking feels SO much slower now so while i was content to plod along in the original i feel like there's not a middle ground #so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good #though at the very least it does seem like it will take some of the weight off of the 'route planning' aspect of the original #which was. honestly a load bearing part of... gestures vaguely #and i understand why people don't like it! i think that's a very reasonable thing to not like #having a game on a time limit that requires you to walk slowly across the map multiple times #i don't know what brainworms it activated in me but i quite enjoy it #on paper i should not like this game but here we are #that's not true. i play a lot of Bad To Play games for the story. #but 'guy who has no sense of time' playing 'time limit: the game' is... well i'm not arguing at the results #so that's my main Thing that i 'dislike' but even that word is too strong #i don't dislike it as much as i am keenly aware that i will have to play the game differently and i Don't Like Change lmao #that said these are preliminary impressions as i'm only about 4-5ish hours into the main game #pathologic

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

charming and good: dr prism and solaris, both being ex-zoraxis operatives who don't feel safe enough to turn to the agency, working together post the events of 3 to pursue their crafts without death or capture looming above their necks

charming and evil: solaris- through prism- learns that anna is alive, and immediately drops everything she is doing to find her and tear her limb from limb for being the catalyst to the destruction of her death engine

#ieytd #just realized i've never tagged anna until now. underrepresented girlie #anna ulanova #commander solaris #roxana prism #honestly i'm not confident that solaris is unaffiliated with zoraxis nowadays. if only because it seems strange from a storytelling- #-perspective to label her as one of zoraxis' dangerous forces behind zor and the fabricator before immediately having her quit #BUT. i do think the thought of her just like. fucking off to go do... solaris things is really hilarious #and i think she should get a bloody violent rage arc #i think anna's potential relationship- or lack thereof- with solaris is a VERY undertapped concept #literally were it not for the intel she supplied the handler would probably be dead. the death engine would have succeeded. #zoraxis knew anna provided SOME intel to the agency. but i wonder if they knew what. i wonder if they figured it out after DE- #-or if they assume the infiltration was a quirk of the phoenix's lucky streak. #i think if solaris knew... dear lord. i think she would lose her mind. and she's ALIVE?? solaris nearly BLEW UP. her life's work GONE. #i love anna but i can't really deny the facts. she kind of set the rest of solaris' life up for rage and misery. #she can get a little butchered about it. it's only fair.

[mitamicah]

I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore

#I really want to quit the event for trans day of visibility #I just don't see what I can give to the conversation #and I haven't for a while now #there is already a person that does all the posters #when I did the budget it was all wrong #half the ideas I've come up with has been having big holes #and honestly I don't think that comfortable in the group #I feel like I am back at school or university being put in a group for a project that I cannot pull out of because it will affect my grade #or the rest of the group's performance #but there's no grades #there is a performance of sort being the event #and that could still be great #but I don't feel like I have the spoons or the experience for this #I am just smiling (barely) and nodding along #yet a part of me are also scared of dropping out now #there is not a lot of time left #and so it wouldn't be fair on the other people to ditch this last minute #but would it be more fair to let me just tag along not doing anything of value? #and I should probably decide soon since we are getting closer #it is this big dark cloud over my thought rn #I am trying to concentrate on my drawing challenge yet I don't have any joy in it #because all my thoughts go to this event #I don't know what to do #I really don't want to do this #but I did say yes #and I hate tapping out and be seen as untrustworthy as well #micahs thoughts

[navree]

europeans wanna be oppressed so fuckin bad

#personal #this is soooooooooo funny i'm sorry #yes the REAL issue in all of this is that ned Appropriated Italian Heritage #shut the fuck up are you insane #(also the way to try and frame this as if this is just like those weirdos who do their 'i'm 1/16th cherokee horsehshit. chef's kiss) #like if you ARE italian you should have bigger fucking concerns on your mind than ned from the try guys #mussolina is running your country now focus on that and not about how you've been hate crimed #because an american mutt said that he's got italian percentage in his dna #'quit claiming european heritage' well when europeans take back the centuries they spent shoving their heritage under the sun #then we can talk #this is literally both hilarious and honestly pathetic i have never seen anyone want to be angry abt smth harder in my LIFE

[six-demon-bag]

finally found a bed the dog likes more than the floor! so different from our last dog who liked giant piles of fluffy things

#he favored the thin rug over the fluffy things #finally found a thin dog bed and put a piece of fleece over it and now he is happy #like it was very challenging to find a simple enough bed for this anti-diva #sixdemon nonsense #also i feel like I should have seen more gifs from Lila Lila on here?? #maybe it’s not such a popular movie to gif #or maybe tumblr search messed up #that’s probably likely regardless #or maybe it’s the way everyone seems to favor the little grids for this one idk #idk shit honestly i was just surprised it had like the same amount as zookeeper #he’s just such a baby face again some more like always #tbf it is a little unusual for him to do a romcom so maybe that’s part of it #all of the sets are quite lovely and I appreciate them #the tag was just surprisingly sparse in general #though tbf I didn’t get much blorbo energy from him in this one

[aeolianblues]

one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.

#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking #'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting #the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered' #No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100 #why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down? #Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago #Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon #I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness. #We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival #as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence #but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃 #The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate #anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it #and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it

[hauntedwoman]

gonna have to retake french next semester lol my mom is gonna kill meeeeeeeeee hehe

#it's so ridiculous that at my old school i only needed two semesters of foreign language and i wouldve been done by now !!!! #but since i was depressed and couldnt live on campus my mom made me transfer schools when we moved and now im suffering !!! #and she said if i fail im not going back next semester but how does that help me. seriously how does that help me achieve anything. #i'm just so tired and i wish my brain actually worked and i wish that i wasn't such a mess #honestly i hate blaming everything on covid but online classes literally RUINED my work ethic #and now im struggling so hard i just want to quit and lie down maybe i should just drop out

[thedandelionthief]

Current mood is just failing at life in general

#okay I wrote this as a haha funny joke but also I feel awful right now #I don’t understand my classes I don’t understand people I don’t understand emotions and I’m expected to deal with all this stuff every day #I’m not good at anything important. and the few things I am decent in theres so many people better than me to fill the role #I’m even dead weight on my scholastic bowl team. all i do is drag down any team im on. I should honestly just quit at this point #even the things I could be good at my anxiety holds me back from. but I’m not noticeably anxious enough for people to care #so I just seem like I fuck everything up on purpose #I love life #vent

[aeide-thea]

poäng appreciation post 💛

#i forget if i said but Baby Sister and i stopped off at ikea on the way back from picking her up at the bus stop on monday #and finally replaced the ruined-by-a-succession-of-cats-(in-ways-both-unsightly-and-gross) Accent Chair in the living room #with a poäng rocker (bc the shape is a little more interesting and less instantly recognizable than the regular chair) in birch (my beloved #also they make fancy tufted cushions for it now! wish they came in more colors but it's a real improvement on sad options past #and anyway it's like. now you can actually sit here in the morning and look out the window at the extremely beautiful view #and the chair actually supports you??? like i could see down the road trying to work out some kind of custom cushioning that's thicker #but the shape of the frame is so ergonomic for me that it's genuinely quite comfortable regardless. bentwood exocorset… #anyway. not a very original post but i just DO really love ikea #like yes it's a mixed bag but also honestly if you're buying particle board— #(i was going to say 'and expecting it to hold up' but. honestly i think it's just. if you're buying particle board period) #—that might be on you. #(like. if you're being pressed in from all sides by budget constraints and immediate need and no accessible better-made used alternatives— #obviously you do what you have to. but it's like buying pleather—you know‚ or should‚ that the material is going to disintegrate.) #but the things ikea makes with decent materials are remarkably well-designed and affordable for what they are‚ has been my sense? #you just gotta shop carefully but like. that's true literally everywhere. #anyway. in conclusion i love my new buddy with its clean lines. …do people name chairs ever. #i've never before had the urge but this one feels like a little assembly-line friend that deserves its own identity. like a star wars clone #(lol what if i gave it a little nametag somewhere hidden. secret identity talisman 4 chairpal.) #(& yes i promise i'm as aware of the‚ uh‚ itself-ness of this tag spiral as you are. :) ) #domesticities

[dykefever]

guess who . is a bit lactose intolerant :-(

#i’ve been ignoring it… and well i decided to test it out and the results are unfortunately in ! #the main difference this makes in my life is that i will now drink oat milk in my coffee and have less cheese … heartbreaking #ridi is scoffing and laughing at me at that cheese line … #but also this hasn’t solved all my digestive problems idk maybe doing it long term will but personally i am #under the impression that my ed just fucked me n i’m not sure how to fix it anymore #because to be honestly no one food is a dramatic trigger even dairy it’s like. quite a bit of dairy in one day effects me significantly #otherwise it’s whatever anyway none of u need to know this ? sorry xxx #if any of u guys say i should try cutting out gluten too i’ll have 2 die i know :-/ #laura says some things

[baejax-the-great]

Some people are not meant to succeed at things and if i think back to all my scientific grant application responses, I think I remember some PI out there very bluntly and confidently telling me I was one of them

#actually the problem I'm having now was very similar to my scientific problems #which was that nobody cared enough about peripheral nerves to fund research about them #AND they didn't know enough about peripheral nerves to accurately assess my grant #'why not just study this agonist this is a waste of time' #well sir motoneurons don't have receptors for that particular agonist so the study would be quite boring #still lolling at the person who marked Northwestern as a subpar research institute #like honestly I should have been allowed to DQ their score ONLY based on that #someone should have seen that and gone oh this person is a nutcase let's strip them of their position #but no #my future was determined by these goons

[beatcroc]

always so funny to re-realize that my fixations evidently don't work like most people's. i'll see posts like 'that point in ur life ur between hyperfixations and u feel like ur just floating aimlessly' or ppl talking about like 'aw man i think my hyperfixation on x is fading' and i'll be like you can do that? that can happen? bc for me these things don't have an expiration date they always just keep going until they're replaced by something else. the only time i ever 'lost interest' in a fixation in a neutral way it literally took more than two years and it wasn't a gradual fade so much as a specific and sudden 'ok i want to do something else now'.

#that was annieblog btw. and then like a week after i quit i started fixating on my own oc's #which lasted about 3 years and then that only FINALLY just got replaced by pizza. #you have no IDEA how bad sth has to get me to throw me out of the oc groove. there were various smaller interests through that time but #pt is the one. one of those ones im gonna be on for years again. #i like to think when it's finally passed it'll be one of those ones where im like 'damn that guy was cool i should draw him again' #like how i do for bad batter and bec noir every couple years. prematurely putting fp in those leagues now. #bweeeaaahh #honestly feels so good to get back to doing fanart again #like dont get me wrong i love my ocverse to death and i will gladly spend 3 hours explaning all my complicated lore and mechanics #but fandom stuff is just. a different vibe yknow #i rly enjoy working with the restrictions of something having a canon that i don't dictate and seeing how far i can go within that #also i dont gotta be the center of my own shit here. way easier to find community and bounce ideas around w other people

[figuerockfaeth]

had a little bit of a freak out #moment and rearranged my entire room

#the thought process being #i hate it here so much and i can’t control that until school is over #but what i CAN control #is laboriously moving around every single piece of furniture in my room #honestly i’m a little pissed i feel like i finally unlocked what the vibe of the room should be #and now i’m moving out in two months :/ #the ‘moment’ in question was spread out over two days and so many hours of sweat #and an hour round trip drive to work to get my tool bag instead of spending money on a new drill battery charger for the 1 drill i had hlme #and it’s still not done #it’s done being reorganized it’s just not all put away quite yet. it just looks like my room is messy again #even though the process was clean > move furniture > put stuff away #but the last step is being delayed…… there’s stuff in my floor #also did i do laundry during all of this? the chore i need to do most desperately? certainly not