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#honestly nothings better than waking up to someone reposting a bunch of my reposts onto their own blog
dergunsfanblog · 1 year
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Dude I saw your tags on one of the OP posts I reblogged and I’m begging you to fully cave in and watch it
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HMMMMMMMMNNNNNN ok you convinced me, ill apply my 3 episode rule to it. I really wanna watch another good sports anime x3
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bgn846 · 4 years
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Satum Novum Chapter 1:High Seas FFXV Gladnis
This is a repost of an older work from AO3.  Hope you all enjoy. :)
Summary: Noctis gets kidnapped and Ignis is lost at sea after he tries to thwart the plot. Now as he struggles to save himself and locate the missing prince, he stumbles upon the last person he ever expected to find.   Gladiolus Amicitia, the shield that decided to become a fisherman instead.   Will he make it in time to rescue Noctis or has he failed his one and only friend?
Chapter 1:
The idea of death had crossed his mind several times.  The odds of being rescued were extremely rare and his body couldn’t hold out much longer.  Ignis wasn’t sure what was worse, the idea of traitors in the royal ranks or his princes questionable safety.  Not that it mattered he was going to die soon and no one would ever know what had really happened.
Treading water was an interesting thing.  A human could do this action for a couple days at most, but that was under certain circumstances.  Ignis had been in the water now for about eighteen hours.  Things flittered through his mind in uncoordinated bundles.  He had been grateful at first that the water temperature had been warm.  It saved him from catching hypothermia right away, though he was shivering now as he’d been in for far too long.  
However, his traitorous brain would then tell him this was merely prolonging his death.  Dying slowly was agonizing.  He knew he would run out of energy and sink beneath the waves to eventually drown.  With no water and nothing to drink he was pushing it already.
The items on his person that were waterproof, his watch and phone weren’t much use.  His phone had run out of battery and was out of range anyway.  His watch only served to remind him of the countdown to his demise.
Continuing to stay upright he focused on breathing.  Why was he even bothering, he was a dead man playing with time.  Then he saw it, a ship in the distance.   Despite the fact that Ignis knew they couldn’t see him, he still screamed at the top of his lungs.  Waiting for the ship to steer his direction was excruciating.   What if they went the other way?  He would watch his one and only chance at savior sail away that would be heartbreaking.   
Several times it appeared the ship was turning away and he nearly cried.  Then against all odds it got closer and closer.  He waved his hands and yelled hoping someone would see or hear him.  The moment when a tall dark haired man waved back and pointed to him was overwhelming.  The rush of relief at being spotted made Ignis temporarily stop moving.  Sinking beneath the surface he struggled to get his head above water once more.  His body was reaching its limits.
The dark haired man was shouting directions to his crew as they navigated the craft closer to Ignis.  It was a fairly good sized fishing charter boat, big enough that there was no way to board without a ladder.      
He kept sinking beneath the surface due to the shock of being rescued.   Someone shouted something, a warning, and then a life ring was thrown out for him.  Swimming to the floating ring was a challenge.  Ignis swallowed sea water as he attempted to stay afloat.  Finally he was able to grasp it and he could mercifully rest his legs and arms.
As the dark hair man pulled him closer, Ignis noticed another crew member with a new rope.  It had a harness attached.  Once he was next to the hull, the second rope was lowered with instructions for looping his arms and upper body into the harness.  He complied and then he began to feel himself being lifted.  Focusing on holding on tight he closed his eyes.  Part of his brain was unable to come to terms with the fact that he was being rescued.  It was so surreal, in a panic he opened his eyes to check it was still happening.
That’s when he saw his rescuer up close.  The tall dark haired man was holding onto his arm and hauling him over the railing.  He had long hair that was pulled back away from his face, and he was talking to him.  Ignis could barely process anything, he was dimly aware of hands removing the harness and being laid down.
“Hey buddy stay with me.” A voice urged.  “What’s your name?” The man tried again.
“I—Ignis.” He managed to croak.  His voice was raw from yelling and lack of water to drink.
“How long were you out here?” The man asked.
“More than a day.” Ignis rasped.  “He desperately wanted something to drink, but wasn’t sure he’d pass out before he was able to ask.    
“Shit!” The man exclaimed. “Prompto go fetch me water now!  Hey stay with me for a little bit longer.  You need to drink something and then I’ll take you below deck and get you dried off.”
This Prompto returned with the water, but that meant he had to sit up.  His body was done moving and was on strike.   His rescuer figured this out pretty fast and helped lever Ignis up into sitting position.  Making a move to take the bottle almost worked, Ignis was tired and uncoordinated so he faltered.  The dark haired man gave up after a second and brought the bottle to Ignis’ lips.
Normally this type of action would have not been tolerated by Ignis but he needed water.  It may have been a blessing he wasn’t holding it.  The man slowly tipped the water back and Ignis knew he would have tried to gulp the whole thing down in heartbeat.
“I’m not feeling so great.” Ignis mumbled.  “I’m cold.”
“Working on that next buddy, I’m going to carry you so don’t freak out.”
The next few minutes were odd indeed.  Ignis’ world tilted as this man picked him up off the deck.  Then a blur of dark and light spaces proceeded to pass him by.  Finally they stopped and he was being put down on the floor again.
“Prompto!  Kiddo where are you?  I need those towels.”  The man yelled.
The blond haired youth named Prompto appeared with an armful of towels.  He quickly came into the room and waited for more instruction.
“Hey Ignis.” The man spoke.  “I need to get you out of your wet clothes and dried off.  Are you okay with me doing that?”
Ignis managed a nod and tried fumbling with the buttons of his own shirt.   His fingers were numb, astrals this was bad.  The stranger got his buttons undone fast and tugged Ignis up into sitting position to remove the shirt.
“Prompto help me, make sure he stays upright.”
Ignis felt the blond haired man grasp his shoulders and hold him firmly.  It helped tremendously otherwise he would have fallen to the side ages ago.  His shirt was taken off and then his undershirt was pulled over his head.
Next came his shoes and trousers. Ignis chose to ignore the last shred of his dignity being stripped away, as his boxers were taken off.  He knew it was necessary and honestly it felt so much better to not have any wet clothing sticking to his skin.
The stranger spared him complete humiliation by quickly throwing a towel over his midsection once he was fully disrobed.
“You’ve got hair drying duty I’ll get his legs.” The man said as he handed a towel to Prompto.
Ignis zoned out, despite being out of the water and getting dry he was still shivering violently.  “Do --do you have a blanket?” He asked hoping they would wrap him up soon.
“I’ve got a bunk right here with a pile of blankets on it just for you.  Give me a sec.”
As promised a moment later the dark haired man bodily lifted him again and placed him in a bunk a few feet away.   Ignis sighed loudly in contentedness as the covers were pulled up around his body.  He might survive this ordeal yet.
“Try and relax, you’re safe, you can rest.” The stranger urged.
That was all Ignis needed to hear and he passed out.
--
“Uh Gladio – come take a look at this.” Prompto announced as he held Ignis’ clothes while they both stood in the common area.
“What is it Blondie?  Upset because he dresses better than you?”
“Hey! I like my style.” Prompto huffed. “Stop distracting me, this could be important.  Take a look at the label in his shirt; it says it came from the ‘crown tailors’.  Does that mean the crown?” He stressed.
Gladio trudged over finally and took a peek.  Sure enough the label inside read as Prompto had described it.  “Have you heard any chatter over the radio about any boating accidents?”
“Nothing, which is really weird right?” The younger man pondered.  “Unless it was on a secret mission and the boat sank and Ignis is the only survivor.”
Staring at the blond Gladio sighed heavily.  “You and your imagination.  If there had been other people don’t you think Ignis would have said something about looking for other survivors?”
“Not if he is sworn to secrecy and the mission failed.”
Rubbing his face with his hands Gladio chose to walk away and rummage through the food stores.  “I’m going to go sit with him in case he wakes up again.  I’m worried he didn’t drink enough water before he passed out.   You gonna keep my boat float?”
“Okay you have trained me really well on that part; I promise I won’t let anything too terrible happen.” Prompto swore as he crossed his heart with his fingers.
Pursing his lips together Gladio shook his head.  “I’m not sure whether to be happy that you know your limitations or worried that you know your limitations.”
“Oh go I’ll be fine.  I know where you are and I can use the P.A.  if I need to.”
“Fine.” Gladio huffed as he grabbed some apples and water.  Smiling at Prompto he turned and left the common area. His blond friend was an odd ball for sure.  Poor guy had been chased down by a bunch of local thugs one night, and he’d sought solace on Gladio’s fishing boat.   Why on Eos he’d been trailing around the run down port of east Niflheim was beyond him.
Gladio had finished his business and put out to sea without even realizing the plucky kid had gotten stuck in his bait hold.  He remembered getting the fright of his life when he went to check the bait stocks.   All he saw was a shock of blond hair and a skinny arm reaching out to grab him.
That was almost two years ago and no matter how hard he tried the guy wouldn’t leave.  Not that he minded so much, it was nice to have company when he was in between fishing seasons and down a full crew.
Approaching his cabin he pushed the door open slowly and walked in.  Ignis was still unconscious but thankfully he’d stopped shivering.  He’d only left him for about ten minutes and he looked so much better already.  Gladio figured he’d wait another hour and then try and wake Ignis up to drink something.  For now he setup his hammock and grabbed a book.  
--
Panic gripped the advisor as he awoke.  Where was he? What had happened to Noct?  The gentle shaking of his shoulders stopped when he finally opened his eyes.  It was immediately evident that his face had betrayed his fears.
“Whoa Ignis don’t freak out, you’re still safe.  I picked you up in the open sea about two hours ago.  Remember?” His rescuer asked.
The memories of his hellish adventure came flooding back.  The royal vessel and the traitors that had so cruelly shoved him overboard, he could only pray that Noct was unharmed.  He needed to find his prince before it was too late.  “I need to go.” He uttered quickly.
“I figured you’d say something like when you woke up. I’ve already charted a course back to the main land.”
“Where?”
“A fairly decent sized port near Altissia.  I can radio ahead if you need to deliver a message of any kind.”
“No!” Ignis hissed that was the last thing he needed.  He had no idea how many other kingsglaive had been turned.  
The stranger held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. “Don’t stress, I won’t do anything until you’re ready.”
The response calmed Ignis somewhat.  At least he didn’t have to fight with this man over things of that nature.  “What do I call you?” Ignis asked suddenly when he realized he had no name for his savior.
“The names Gladiolus Amicitia, but you can call me Gladio.” He smiled.  
Ignis blinked stupidly at Gladio.  Blaming his exhaustion for being unable to think clearly he tried to find out more information.  “Who’s your father?” He asked weakly.
Gladio narrowed his eyes.  “I’ll play fifty questions with you but you need to drink some water first.”
Oh.
The thought of water was so pleasant it nearly distracted him completely.   Working an arm out from the covers he reached out to take the bottle.   Gladio carefully helped him sit up so he could drink.   After the bottle was drained Ignis became aware of his state of undress.  He opened his mouth to speak again but Gladio cut him off.
“I’ve got some spare clothes for you if you’re able?”
Nodding quickly earned him a lap of comfortable looking garments.  Gladio remained by his side as he pulled the worn but very soft t-shirt over his head.  It was good that Gladio was nearby, as he almost toppled sideways out of the bed, when the shirt was over his head.   He could add lack of balance to his list of problems.
Laying back down Ignis took the sweatpants and managed to don them while staying under the covers.  He sighed heavily after the task was complete.  “Thank you.” He mumbled, sleep was threatening to take him again.
“Let me cut you up an apple before you pass out again.” Gladio added as he patted Ignis’ shoulder.
Watching as the dark haired man pulled a chair over to sit beside him, Ignis worked to remain awake.   He focused on Gladio cutting the apple and watched his fingers work the blade around the fruit.
“Here.” He offered as he held out a small slice.
Ignis accepted and munched slowly, astrals he was hungry.   Accepting each slice gratefully he was starting to relax slightly.
“So my father is Clarus Amicitia, the King’s shield.  However, I have a feeling you already knew that.”
“Did my phone make it?” Ignis asked suddenly.
“Huh? A yeah it did actually.  Prompto’s charging it now.  Fancy with technology these days eh, making water resistant phones and all.”
“I must get to shore quickly.” Ignis reiterated.
“Don’t worry I’m working on it trust me.”
“When was the last time you saw your father?” Ignis asked as he bounced back to the topic at hand.
Gladio rubbed at the back of neck.  “I dunno exactly but it’s been a while.   After my mom died, when I was young, I went to live with an Aunt.  My younger sister and I spent our youth visiting dad on the weekends.  That got to be hard with his work schedule so we stopped going after a while.”
“I’m sorry to hear it.” Ignis offered.
“I have good memories, which helps, but it was still sad not being with him all the time.”
“May I ask why you haven’t taken up the family profession?”
Gladio scoffed.  “I’ve trained for it, believe me.”
Ignis knew this was true simply based off of Gladio’s actions to date.  He’d been picked up twice already by the man, and he could see his muscled physique plain as day. “What happened then?”
“I didn’t want to get sucked into a life that wasn’t my own.  I grew up never seeing my dad and it was because of his job.  I didn’t want to do that to my sister.”
“But aren’t you out on this boat a lot?” Ignis asked unable to stop himself.
“Yeah – you got a point there, but I do spend the off season at home with Iris, my sister, and she tags along sometimes.  Titan’s ass, listen to me rattle on about shit you don’t care about.  Sorry.” Gladio admitted.  
“I don’t mind, it’s nice to hear actually.” Ignis had been curious about Clarus’ home life or lack thereof.  He’d known the man had children but he’d never met them.  Sighing he decided he might have to divulge more information about his situation.  He had a feeling he might need the services of a runaway shield.
“So what about you? How’d you end up floating in the middle of the sea?” Gladio asked with a concerned look.  “You don’t have to answer that yet, I really should let you rest.  You look wicked tired.”
It was true Ignis was struggling to stay awake, but he did feel it might be beneficial to share some of his story.  “It’s alright, you deserve to know more.” He added right before he yawned widely.
“You need to sleep, it can wait.”
“Mmm sleep does sound wonderful, but I must tell you some part of my story in case it proves useful.” Ignis could see the look of confusion cross Gladio’s face.  “My full name is Ignis Scientia and I’m the royal advisor to his highness Prince Noctis.”
Gladio appeared dumbstruck.  “I would hear my father mention someone by the name of Scientia when I was younger.  The prince’s future advisor and babysitter, if I recall.”
Ignis smiled at that remark.  “Ah yes I do still hear that occasionally.”  The thought of caring for his prince did reignite his worry.  “I was accompanying the prince on a special fishing trip when I discovered there were traitors in our midst.  I was unable to act fast enough and they literally shoved me overboard in the dead of night.”
“Damn!  That’s shitty.  The astrals must want you to save him since you got rescued.   Honestly, I wasn’t even meant to be where I was when I found you.  I’d gotten off course and was about to correct it when I saw you waving.”
That information caught Ignis off guard.  He wasn’t expecting to be told of his near doom.  “Oh – that is – uh.” The advisor couldn’t figure out what to say.  Being reminded that he had nearly died was doing funny things to his brain.  The feeling of tears pricking at his eyes surprised him.  Taking a deep breath Ignis worked to calm down.  He’d been saved and that’s what mattered.
“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.  Try not to focus on the ‘what if’s’ you’re safe now.”  Gladio announced kindly.
“Can I ask that you keep this information quiet for now?  I’m not sure who I can trust.”  Ignis asked seriously.
“Sure thing, you’re lucky my dad likes you otherwise we might have a problem.”
“Huh?” Now it was Ignis’ turn to be confused.  “I thought you didn’t talk much anymore?”
“Yeah well you’ve been in service to the crown for a long time, and I do remember my dad talking about you.  Nothing personal just that he thought you were a good influence on the prince.  I’ll have to take your word that you’re not one of the traitors.”
“I would die for highness; I can assure you I’m one of the good guys.”
“Well you almost did die for your prince already, so hopefully you won’t have to do it again.” Gladio added.  “Now rest, I’ve chewed your ear off for far too long.”
Ignis hummed his approval and closed his eyes.  He could feel the blanket being pulled up to cover his shoulders.  Shoving his thoughts aside he tumbled into sleep once more. 
--
“What do you mean he’s disappeared?” Noct yelled. “People don’t disappear on a fucking boat!”
“Highness watch your language.” Drautos hissed.
“I will do no such thing, my friend is missing and we need to figure out what happened!”
“You must consider the possibility that he slipped and fell overboard last night.”  Lazarus offered with a sneer.  “It’s hard to see at night and the seas were choppy.”
“Ignis is smart he wouldn’t have fallen overboard.  We need to turn around and backtrack; we need to find him before he drowns!” Noct added frantically.    
“I’ve put out a distress call just in case there are any other boats in the area.  They will keep an eye out.” Drautos added with little sympathy.
“No this is unacceptable.  We are turning around now!  That’s an order!” Noct huffed crossing his arms and frowning.
Drautos looked irritated and he looked to Lazarus with a glare.  “Of course highness.  Lazarus go tell the captain to get this boat turned around.”
Lazarus left quickly and then it happened.  Noct watched in horror as Drautos suddenly morphed into a full suite of magical armor.   The ensuing battle was far from fair.  Sure, he could use his magic to defend himself but it wasn’t working real well.  Fighting on a boat was hazardous.  One wrong move and the boat would sink essentially dooming them all.  The turning point had been when Drautos had threatened just that.
He had forced the battle down to the cabins below and was ready to open a hole in the bottom of the vessel.  Noct was livid he’d been duped by the very captain of the guard.  A small hope flickered in him that Lazarus had made a distress call.   That idea was squashed when he saw the glaive coming to join them.
“Put it on him.” Drautos ordered.
Before Noct could ask, Lazarus was standing beside him holding a metal collar.    “I’m not wearing that fucking thing!” he sputtered.
“You don’t have a choice.  Put it on or I’ll sink the boat.” Drautos growled.
After an intense stare down Noct finally took the offending item from Lazarus and fastened it on his neck.  The device blocked his use of magic.
“If you try and remove it, it will electrocute you.”
The prince wished it was full of explosives instead.  He would have considered trying to remove it with them all on the boat.   He would at least be taking down two traitors.  His advisor was most likely dead and things were looking grim.  “Why?” he asked curtly.
“Nothing personal highness, I want money plain and simple.  Lazarus, lock him in his cabin would you.” Drautos ordered.
Once inside his room Noct sat down and tried not to cry.  This was so bad.   He needed to figure out how to send a distress call.  Reaching for his phone revealed no signal.  He’d need to get to the bridge above to use the radio.  Without his magic that was going to be a hard task.
The Eos was a boring place these days.   There had been no major wars in the last three hundred years, and no one died from the scourge anymore.  The history books were full of tales of the black death but the malady had been banished half a millennia ago. Even the daemons that roamed the lands were gone.  Monsters still lurked here and there but they were manageable.
Some ancient Lucis Caelum had come back to life and saved them all.   Or at least that’s how the story was told.  No one knew exactly what had happened, merely that the current Lucis Caelums were tasked with protecting the crystal that gave life to their Eos.  He used its very magic to fight with and it felt brilliant.  What a waste to have such power and not use it for domination.  
However, the soldier wasn’t stupid and he knew a rebellion of that nature would never work.  The Eos liked being at peace.  The idea had come to him to operate on a slightly smaller scale.   Every large city across the Eos had a darker side.
Organized crime.
Once he’d completed this mission and gotten his ransom money he was going to relocate to Niflheim and open up shop as it were.  He had power, and he would have money to go with it soon.  He’d instructed Lazarus to plot a course to angelgard.   The time had come to make his move.
>Next Chapter 2 or read on AO3
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pllsetskyonice · 7 years
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@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
2,900 words
“What are you talking about?”
“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”
In which Yuri gets drunk and Tweets some things he probably shouldn't have.
AO3 link
So @94mercy made this post that headcanoned that Yuri gets drunk one night and talks about the size of Otabek’s dick on social media, and I immediately knew I had to write it. Otherwise known as me just wanting to join in with all the hung!Otabek content that’s been coming out of this fandom in recent weeks. 
(Also tagging @daddybek because that’s where this all started back in February)
They’ve been dating for a few months when it happens.
Yuri goes round to Mila’s for a few drinks after practice one day, and they steadily make their way through a bottle of vodka, laughing and talking about their respective partners. The music is loud and Yuri feels all loose and giggly as he reaches for his phone, taking selfies and documenting their escapades on Snapchat. He’s never been this drunk before, so drunk he’s not even sure what order his memories from the last few hours go in, so drunk that he can barely stand, so drunk that the room is spinning.
He sits down and opens Twitter, starting to type. He doesn’t even think about what he’s Tweeting, just starts a thread and keeps on going until he gets it all off his chest. Mila is grabbing at his hands and pulling him up so they can dance together again, and Yuri’s phone lies on the couch, forgotten.
So he doesn’t see what he’s done until morning.
-
It’s the sound of his phone vibrating loudly on the bedside table that wakes him up. He’s in Mila’s spare bedroom, a small sized room with what feels like the most uncomfortable bed he’s ever slept on, but it evidently didn’t bother him at whatever time he collapsed onto last night. At least he made it into bed, he supposes. That’s an achievement, even if he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes.
He grabs at his phone, squinting at the screen. It reads 6 AM, and is somehow fully charged, even though he has doesn’t remember plugging it in last night. It’s far too early. Yuri wants nothing more at this particular moment in time than to roll over and go back to sleep to avoid dealing with this hangover from hell, but it’s Otabek that’s calling him, so he supposes that he’d better answer.
“Hello?” he says, his voice sounding all croaky as he unplugs his phone and rolls back onto his back. There’s light streaming in through a gap in the curtains, and Yuri would get up and close them properly, but they’re too far away to deal with right now. Instead, he opts for the easier option: pulling his blankets over his head.
“Yuri, what the fuck?” Otabek asks on the other end of the line. Even in this still half drunk, hungover state, Yuri can tell that this is Not Good. “What were you thinking?”
“What are you talking about?” Yuri replies. He wonders if it’s about his and Mila’s Snapchat stories, but from what he can remember there’s nothing too outrageous on them, just some really bad singing in questionable English to pop songs neither of them like.
“Your Twitter? Your thread that spends about ten tweets waxing poetry about the size of my dick? Everyone’s talking about it, the fans are going crazy, I had Victor ringing me up half an hour ago to ask if it was true and if I really had deflowered Russia’s Fairy like that, and I just – what the hell were you thinking, Yuri?”
Yuri fumbles with his phone, opening Twitter with his phone call with Otabek still active in the background. He doesn’t even need to go onto his profile to see it, it’s all over his timeline. “Oh, shit,” he swears as he scrolls through the Tweets. “I don’t even remember posting any of this. I was so drunk, Beka. So drunk. I’m sorry.”
-
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
Alright buckle in its gonna be a bumpy ride let me tell you a thing or two about the size of @otabekaltin’s dick
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I hope you’re ready bc I sure as hell wasn’t the first time I saw it – tho in fairness he did warn me about it beforehand
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
But I’m gonna be honest here and say I had to take a moment when we did somethinh sexual for the first time bc girl, I couldn’t’ cope
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
Shall we talk about the time he fucked me for the first time?
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
YES WHAT A WONDERUFL IDEA KETS CARRY ON TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY BOYF’S DICK FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTS
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
After all of the prep (srsly ive never seen so much lube lmao) he finally entered me (is that even the right word idk I’m so drunk rn)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I’ve never felt so full in my whole life it was SO GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND (although hands off he’s mine)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
honestly tho I swear the sex gets better every time? He REALLY know what he’s doing with that thing let me tell you
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I did once ask if he needed a licence for it, he didn’t take it well lmao. Anyway, tl;dr: @otabekaltin’s dick is a godsend and
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5h ago
I am forever grateful that I’ve got to experience such a masterpiece so many different times in so many different positions
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 5h ago
Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin
Holy mother of god is this true? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS TRUE
Yuri Angels @yuriangels10 · 5h ago
Replying to @yuriplisetsky, @otabekaltin, @c_giacometti
AHAHAHA WE’VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR AGES WE CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
-
“Yeah, I figured, from the numerous spelling mistakes and yours and Mila’s Snapchat stories from last night,” Otabek says, sighing. “But that doesn’t make this okay, Yuri.”
“I know,” Yuri says miserably as he continues to scroll through the shit storm that’s taken over his Twitter. “Do you want me to delete the tweets?”
“I’m not sure what good that’ll do at this stage,” Otabek says. “They’ve already been screenshotted and reposted too Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook so many times that deleting the original tweets doesn’t mean that people will stop talking about it.”
“True,” Yuri agrees. He hasn’t checked Tumblr yet but he already feels like the Yuri Plisetsky tag will be trending on there, full of screenshots taken from Twitter and detailed posts discussing it all. Instagram will be full of people screaming in the comments, and Facebook will have people criticising his decision to share this all on the internet for everyone to see. No doubt someone has already put together a compilation video on YouTube of closeups of Otabek’s crotch with Yuri’s tweets edited onto it. “I can’t apologise enough for all of this. I’m so sorry.”
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russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago
@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Jenna @xxknifeshoesxx · 4h ago
Replying to @plsetsky
I can’t believe that this is confirmed, what the hell
skate away @quadloop · 4h ago
Replying to @plsetsky, @xxknifeshoesxx
Is it just me that rlly wants to know just how big Otabek is now?
russian fairy @plsetsky · 4h ago
Nah (I mean it might be bordering the slightly creepy territory but still, SOMEONE FETCH THE GUY A TAPE MEASURE)
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“I know,” Otabek says. “I’m not happy that this has happened, but it has, so we’ll deal with it – oh no, Victor’s just messaged in the group chat.”
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Victor: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES
Victor: [multiple screenshots of Twitter threads]
Yuri: …
Yuri: why the hell should we have to explain ourselves to you two??!
Victor: BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN THE SKATING WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT THE SIZE OF OTABEK’S DICK AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT AND WHY DID YOU POST THIS ALL ONTO TWITTER?
Yuri: jesus
Yuri: stop yelling
Yuri: I was drunk and said some things on twitter, it’s not a big deal
Victor: It very clearly is!
Victor: Yakov is going to have your head off over this, I’m surprised he hasn’t called you yet
Victor: If you thought he was mad at you after Welcome To The Madness, then you’ve really got another thing coming
Yuri: I can handle yakov thank you
Otabek: I’d make a joke about how if you can handle my dick you can handle anything but somehow I don’t think that would be appreciated
Yuri: oh my god beka
Victor: You’re right, it wouldn’t be appreciated
Yuuri: Maybe
Yuuri: Maybe it doesn’t matter because they’re both consenting adults and what goes on behind closed door isn’t anyone’s business but theirs?
Victor: Yuuri I love you but that’s not the point
Victor: They’re going to get people going on about this for months, in interviews, in articles, online… it’ll come back to haunt you in five years’ time at a party when someone’s flicking through their camera roll and finds the tweets and is like, “oh wow who remembers when?”
Yuri: alright I get it my tweets are a ghost that’ll come back to haunt me
Yuri: can we all please calm down I really don’t want to deal with this rn
Victor: Is that because you’re hungover? Well you should’ve thought about that before you got drunk and posted a bunch of stupid tweets to twitter!
Yuri: *true, not stupid
Yuri: and stfu victor
Yuri: no one cares what you have to say
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Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago
I’M YELLING pic.twitter.com/t35v5f
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 3h ago
Someone should get yuri drunk more often this is GOLD
Mila Babicheva @mila_b · 20m ago
Replying to @phichit_chu
I honestly don’t know if I should be apologising or not
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 20m ago
Noooo! Definitely not lmao I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE SECRETS
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registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this banana bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/235g5y
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this cucumber bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43qg5
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this aubergine bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/4gaf35
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this leek bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/98rga3
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this can of dry shampoo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/257g23
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 9m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this chair leg bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/5gsgj1
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this table leg bigger than otabek’s dic? pls respond pic.twitter.com/43tg83
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this branch bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/6grg24
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 8m ago
@yuriplisetsky is this tree bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/7gr32t
Yurabek For Life @yurabek4life · 6m ago
Replying to @slicetheice
@yuriplisetsky is this dildo bigger than otabek’s dick? pls respond pic.twitter.com/24gw46
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago
u ruined it
registered yuri angel no 4525 @slicetheice · 6m ago
gtfo my thread
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There’s a knock on the bedroom door and Mila enters, a glass of water in one hand and her phone in the other. Her hair is messy and she obviously didn’t get around to taking off her makeup last night, as her eyeliner and mascara is smudged around her eyes and what’s left of her foundation is decidedly patchy.
“Hey,” she says quietly, walking forward and placing the glass on the bedside table. “Thought you could probably do with a glass of water.”
“Thanks,” Yuri mumbles, reaching for the glass and taking a few small sips. Though his phone call with Otabek has now ended, they’re continuing to text as they both keep an eye on what’s happening on social media. Victor keeps texting him too, and Yakov keeps calling him, but Yuri is ignoring those. He doesn’t need a lecture right now.
Mila shuffles on her feet, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly, looking down at the carpet rather than at Yuri. “I never should’ve got you that drunk last night.”
“You do realise I don’t really give a shit, right?” Yuri replies. Mila’s head snaps up and she stares at him, brow furrowed.
“What?” she asks, confused.
“I don’t care, Mila,” Yuri says. “Maybe in a perfect world I wouldn’t have posted those tweets and sent the figure skating fandom into a meltdown, and maybe people at Google questioning wouldn’t be wondering why there’s been a sudden increase in people Googling what the average penis size in Kazakhstan is, but it’s not the end of the world. Otabek wasn’t best pleased at first but I think he’s getting over it now. If anything, it’s just given everyone another reason to be jealous of the fact that I’m dating him.”
Mila scoffs, a smile spreading across her face. “You’re something else, Plisetsky,” she says. “Are you going to tell me, then?”
“Tell you what?” Yuri asks, feigning ignorance as he continues to scroll through Twitter. He’s trending, but he’s not exactly sure how he’s supposed to feel about that given the circumstances.
“How big he is, of course!”
“Fuck no. Get out my room.”
“Technically speaking –”
“Did I fucking stutter?”
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17 missed calls from Yakov
Yakov: What on earth is going on
Yakov: I hope you have a reasonable explanation for all of this
Yakov: I am concerned about that boy’s influence on you
Yakov: Please answer your phone calls
Yakov: Answer the phone when I call you!
Yakov: ANSWER THE PHONE!!
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Otabek Altin retweeted
russian fairy @plsetsky · 5h ago
@yuriplisetsky is a size queen
Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 1m ago
Replying to @plsetsky
Hell yes he is. ;) #yurisizequeen
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 30s ago
Replying to @plsetsky, @otabekaltin
#yurisizequeen CONFIRMED
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Worldwide Trends · Change
#yurisizequeen
@yuriplisetsky and @otabekaltin are Tweeting about this
General Election
UK General Election ends in hung parliament
The King and The Skater III
@phichit_chu is Tweeting about this
#mysearchhistory
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve Googled?
Kazakhstan’s Hero
Otabek Altin is now being celebrated for entirely different reasons than the ones you’re thinking of
#thebigmeat
1,257 Tweets
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Yuri Plisetsky
@yuriplisetsky
Gold medallist Russian figure skater. Otabek Altin’s boyfriend. Size queen.
St Petersburg
Joined March 2014
Born March 1
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Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 10m ago
@yuriplisetsky YOU UPDATED YOUR BIO AND I’M YELLING
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago
Replying to @phichit_chu
I was just showing who I am
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 8m ago
This whole thing is making my day #yurisizequeen @otabekaltin so how well does he take it?
Otabek Altin @otabekaltin · 8m ago
Now that would be telling ;)
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 7m ago
Is that code for “I’ve never had anyone take it so well before”?
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 5m ago
Why must I be exposed in this way
Phichit Chulanont @phichit_chu · 4m ago
You exposed yourself
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 2m ago
…true
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Yuri: I’m never drinking with you again.
Mila: Yeah, whatever you say
Mila: I will get you drunk again and get you to spill your secrets all over Twitter
Yuri: NEVER
Yuri: NOT HAPPENING
Mila: Sure, keep telling yourself that
Mila: So, you want to have a few drinks next Friday?
Yuri: …
Yuri: Fine. I’m in.
-
Yuri’s been back at his apartment for a few hours, doing nothing more than curling up on the couch and watching Netflix and contemplating if he can stomach food yet when the doorbell rings. He stares at the door for a few moments, confused, because he no one’s told him they’re coming around. Maybe he left something at Mila’s and she’s decided to drop it off when running errands or something. Sighing, he pauses Netflix, drags himself off the couch and shuffles to the door, his blanket wrapped round his shoulders like a cape.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Yuri demands when he opens the door and sees Otabek of all people standing there. “You decided to just hop on the next plane to St Petersburg or something?”
“Um, yeah,” Otabek mumbles, brushing a hand through his hair as a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. With his other hand, he holds up a bag from the local convenience store. “I also got food. Wanted to make sure you were actually going to eat something today.”
Through the thin white plastic of the bag, Yuri spots a familiar label. “You got me Pringles.” They’re one of his favourite foods that he’s not really supposed to eat when he’s training, but they’re also what he really wants right now.
Otabek grins. “I did.”
“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” Yuri asks, making a grab for the bag. Looking like a kid at Christmas, he takes the lid off the Pringles and tears at the paper/foil one, before taking several crisps out of the tube and putting them all into his mouth at once.
“Well, you’ve told the world about how much you love my dick, but apart from that, no, I don’t think so.”
“Oh my god, shut up,” Yuri says through a mouthful of crisps, rolling his eyes. “Come on, get in here.”
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Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 13m ago
Look who flew all the way from Almaty just to be here! ♥♥ pic.twitter.com/36uhghefh5
Otabek Altin @otabekatlin · 12m ago
Replying to Yuri Plisetsky
It’s good to be back. ♥♥
Christophe Giacometti @c_giacometti · 10m ago
I bet it is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yuri Plisetsky @yuriplisetsky · 10m ago
Oh yes ;)
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