#i AM uncomfortable with people automatically using ''love'' as a blanket word to describe my emotions and the emotions of those around me

[that-disabled-princess]

I remember seeing a post about how being aromantic is akin to being allergic to corn, and like... yeah. Being romance-repulsed, loveless, and aplatonic in addition to being aromantic is like being allergic to olives and corn. And also their common substitutes. Olive oil and cornstarch are used in everything. There is no escape.

You tell someone you can't have a food because olive oil was used, and it's "oh, but surely you aren't allergic to olive oil! That's not a real thing."

You can't have a food because there's cornstarch in it and it's, "oh, but it's such a small amount of corn, surely you'll be fine. I know you can't have corn, but a tiny amount of cornstarch?"

You tell someone that, actually, you are also allergic to a common substitute, and it's "so you just can't eat at all? that's so sad!" or "then what CAN you eat? it's so sad you have such a dislike for food."

"Surely, you aren't actually repulsed by romance! That's so sad! And also, you made that up!"

"I know you're aromantic, but you can't actually be uncomfortable with people using the word 'love' as a blanket for emotions, can you?"

"So you don't feel love for your friends AT ALL? You just don't feel AT ALL? How sad!"

It's exhausting.

#i'm so sick of being told my very self is depressing #like fuck off tIfFaNy *i don't care* #i am living my best life #like yes tiffany i AM repulsed by romance and uncomfortable with overly romantic things #i AM uncomfortable with people automatically using ''love'' as a blanket word to describe my emotions and the emotions of those around me #saw a post that was like ''your friends love you more than you know and love you just as much as you love them'' and now i'm venting #sigh #also i don't like the word ''friend'' being used for me unless... well i don't actually know the ''unless'' #all i know is there are a couple people i'm really close to who i'm comfortable with using the word ''friend'' with #and most others are friendly acquaintances /pos #aromantic #loveless aro #amatonormativity #romance repulsed #aplatonic

[fireflysummers]

Momentary Resurrection

An Attic AU One-Shot

In honor of the borths of @phantomrose96​ and @sandflakedraws​!

TW: mentions of kidnapping, suicidal ideation, mentions of past violence

ABOT Attic AU Masterpost

He thinks he is losing words.

The thought is scarier than the thought of losing his memory—because most of that has already been shot to hell, after being forced to unwillingly share his mortal vessel. It’s like tiptoeing a gaping chasm in the darkness. He can feel rather than see the lack of something, where his memories ought to be. The feeling of vast space sucking at him was terrifying, at first, but now he has simply learned how not to fall into it.

(Except on bad nights, when he awakes from the throes of a nightmare, uncertain where his dreams have bled into lost memories.)

No, losing words is so much worse, because without words he is less than helpless.

He’s useless.

Thinking about it makes Reigen’s throat burn, the phantom pains running up and down the lacerated scars of his neck.

Mogami had tried to tear the words out of him by force. To shred them in his throat before they could alert his other captive to his presence.

Reigen hated to think that it had worked.

He remembers his first time begging.

That’s inaccurate. He can’t recall what he had begged for, or how he’d approached the topic, or why he’d picked that specific individual. All he can remember is the gnawing hunger that had finally forced his hand…and the look of disgust on the stranger’s face as he’d taken in Reigen’s disheveled appearance.

And he can remember the emptiness, where the words used to be.

There had been no attempted explanation then, no charismatic sparkle to put the stranger at ease and a little more free with his pocket change. Nothing but shame.

It was then that he realized that Reigen Arataka had died in that attic, along with the words that had been ripped out of him.

The one nice thing about living under a bridge, was that nobody expected him to speak. To anybody aware of his existence, Reigen was expected to do nothing but rot away in darkness, but at least he’d been allowed to do so quietly.

The nice thing about the Kageyamas is that they expect him not to do that. But this new existence, this second chance at life, leaves him aching for what used to be.

There are times that he feels himself instinctively reaching out for the words, to fill in an uncomfortable silence or attempt to explain something in detail. On good days, they come—albeit unwillingly—rusty and tasting like blood. On bad days…well. On bad days he has worse things to worry about, than the sinking, plunging feeling that comes when the words fail him.

Like mourning, he thinks, like grieving for somebody who’s died.

Somebody knocks on the door.

There is an oily-looking man waiting on the other side of the knock—greasy hair, purple suit, and smile just a little too wide to be genuine. It grows wider still when Hisao opens the door.

“Can I help you?” Hisao asks, eyes narrowing as he takes in this stranger.

“Not at all, my dear fellow,” the stranger replies, hands flying up and around, “In fact, I am here to help you!”

“We’re not interested in buying anything,” Hisao responds automatically, beginning to close the door. But the oily man is too close, has a foot wedged firmly in its path. The smile doesn’t waver.

“Just hear me out!” the man pleads, as though he’s given Hisao any kind of choice.

“What’s going on?” Akane joins her husband at the door, taking note of her husband’s posture and the stranger who has made it his business to invade their home.

“Salesman again,” Hisao tells her, voice forced to be calm, “He was just leaving.”

“I swear to you both, I am no salesman!” The man looks scandalized, perhaps the most genuine emotion he’s displayed so far. “I am a psychic—an esper. And I come offering aid to your family in this time of need.”

“We don’t need your help,” Akane says, cold wariness setting in, “Leave.”

For a moment it looks like the man is going to do as he’s told. Both Kageyama parents hope for a second that he will, that that will be the end of things, but there’s that gleam in his eye…something nasty is on its way.

“I see, I see,” the man says, somehow taking a half-step back without relinquishing any of his foothold. “Perhaps you would not like to hear the plans your boy’s shishou still has for him.”

The reaction to his words is almost immediate, the color draining from the faces of the two Kageyama parents. The oily man smiles and shrugs, as though he is prepared to leave.

“Ah, but, perhaps you already knew,” the man says, “Or you no longer care. You think you’re safe, when you are not. After all, evil spirits tend to linger around, like a bad fart.”

“Indeed. You and evil spirits have that much in common.”

The stranger and the Kageyamas both start at the voice, coming from behind them.

Reigen stands with arms folded, head held high, and eyes pinned on the stranger at the door. For once, his eyes are sharp, calculating, as though doing mental arithmetic with this strange weasel of a man in mind. And then Reigen grins, his face transforming into something self-assured and confident.

He strides forward, the Kageyamas parting to let him through, and the stranger actually taking a step back as Reigen comes near.

“A psychic, you say?” Reigen says, tone light, one hand stroking his chin thoughtfully. “What a relief, we certainly could use your assistance.”

“As you can tell, this entire household is horribly haunted. I’ve tried time and again to tell these good people, but they do not quite believe me. I am only a minor psychic myself, and can’t quite…describe, the dangerous aura that surrounds this house, but I believe it to be massive, and malicious.”

“Oh,” the stranger says, trying not to look too relieved, “It is. Enormous! That spirit’s grudge has come to haunt this household. It wanders about, searching for a way in.”

“Indeed,” Reigen agrees, waving a hand animatedly at the Kageyama home behind him. “I thought I had seen it wandering about. Would you say it has the face of a deer or the face of a boar? I cannot tell.”

“A boar most definitely, when I saw it skulking about earlier.”

“Oh, it is not here right now?” Reigen asks, “I swear that I felt its presence just moments before.”

“It was, but it has gone. I have frightened it off with my presence, and will need to perform a proper exorcism—for a price, of course.”

“Of course, of course. You are not afraid of the ghost,” Reigen says. “You are too powerful. Or. Perhaps because there is no spirit at all.”

The temperature of Reigen’s voice drops then, but several degrees. The confidence, however, does not leave, nor does the grin. The stranger’s grin, however, fades away instantly, something akin to fear creeping into his eyes.

“I…” he tries to find the words, but Reigen has already snatched them away from him.

“Perhaps you would like to tell us how you got ahold of the police report on Kageyama Shigeo’s disappearance and recovery?” Reigen asks, leaning in and placing a hand on the stranger’s shoulder. “Or perhaps, we could just call them over now? I’m sure they would love to find out how a dirty little con artist accessed information only they should have.”

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the stranger replies, eyes darting from side to side. He’s attempted to back away several times now, each time Reigen following with measured steps. “It came to me as part of my divine gifts.”

“Bullshit,” Reigen replies, practically walking him backwards, off the property, “I never want to see your weasly little face again, you half-baked con artist. If you do, I will ensure that the police know.” He snaps his hand back with a flourish, revealing the little white business card he’d slipped from the breast pocket of the man’s odd purple suit. “I have your name and contact information here, after all. I’m sure they would be happy to speak with you.”

“Now leave.”

The stranger trips, falling heavily on his behind, and for a moment, Reigen looms over him like a dark angel. He scrambles backwards, almost tripping over himself again in his attempt to flee.

As the man vanishes around the corner, the spell breaks.

Reigen doesn’t talk to anybody for several hours. He retreats to the couch, the old blanket pulled over his shoulders, unable to hide the shivers wracking his entire frame.

Eventually, he seems to calm, instead sagging against the arm rest, exhausted.

He can hear the Kageyama family talking in the other room. Can feel the looks that Ritsu is giving him where he thinks Reigen won’t notice.

“What was that?” He hears one of them ask. Reigen doesn’t know who, his mind is too frayed to try to keep the pieces of the puzzle from melting together.

He wishes he could explain, but once again the words have abandoned him, leaving him trapped in his own spiraling thoughts.

It was a ghost, he thinks, the ghost of Reigen Arataka.

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #abot #abot au #attic au #my fanfiction

[amethystdarkwolf]

Perfect Imperfections [Chapter Four]

AU: College

Ship: Royalilty

Warnings, for the entire fic: Swearing, body/self-image/self-esteem issues, insecurities, cross-dressing, mention of past eating disorders,

Word count: 1,506

Okay! So this is a fic based on an Rp I am currently doing with @side-for-sides

{This also takes place in the same universe as another fic I’m writing with them that will cross over a bit.  That is the Analogical half of the au titled [Emotionless Emotionals] }

As it’s ongoing, there may be more warnings added if need be, so be cautious and actually read them before each chapter in case I have updated them.

Hope you enjoy!

[Ch.1] / [Ch.2] / [Ch.3] / [Ch. 4] / [Etc. Soon]

Patton immediately melted into the kiss, standing up on his toes so that he could wrap his arms around Roman's neck. Relishing in the kiss as well as his obvious returned feelings. Roman relaxed when he felt Patton melt into the kiss, mentally high-fiving himself. He scooped Patton up into his arms as they kissed, the shorter male squeaked a bit when he did so, immediately clinging to him as if his life depended on it. Roman carefully walked backward until he was sitting on the bed again with Patton in his lap.

Patton pulled away from the kiss for a second, giving the two boys a chance to catch their breaths before immediately going back into another soft kiss. Roman wrapped his arms securely around Patton’s waist, pulling him closer so he wouldn’t slip.

After a few minutes of them making out then pulling away and repeating, Patton pulled away and instead of kissing Roman's lips again, finally beginning to leave small chaste kisses all over Romans face, not really remembering his lip gloss only focused on  Roman and showing that he cared about him. Roman sighed happily at the sensation, his hands gently roaming Patton’s back. “Goodness, my sweet angel, you were so shy when I came in,” he whispered, his eyes half-shut in bliss. “You looked so delicate, like a little doll. You’re beautiful. Wonderful.”

Patton giggled quietly, whispering back, in-between kisses "I get that way... Thank you so much..." He flushed red, wanting to nuzzle his face in Roman's neck but also not wanting to mess up the makeup. "I was so scared you'd hate it..." He admitted quietly. Roman paused at that, his eyes softening. “Hate it?” He took Patton by the chin, gently guiding him so that he was looking at Roman. “I could never hate anything that you’re passionate about,” he breathed. “Besides...” He groaned, leaning in to pepper a trio of kisses to Patton’s jaw. “I almost kissed you right when I saw you, standing there all innocently in your lovely skirt.”

Patton smiled at him giggling quietly and his hand instinctively moving to cover his mouth as laughed. He smiled behind his hand, "I was kind of hoping you would..." He said keeping his tone still as quiet and soft as before. Roman chuckled. “I ended up torturing myself and making you look absolutely irresistible. I could stand it no longer.” He suddenly tutted, moving Patton’s hands away from his mouth. “Are you trying to hide your bright smile from me, my love?” He teased.

"M-Maybe a 'lil bit..." He smiled slightly softer than before, his eyes just full of love, care and appreciation for Roman. This couldn't go bad right? This was perfect! Roman grinned. “Really, now? Why would you do that, sweetheart? Your smile so radiant- it lights up the whole room!” Patton shrugged, "It's just instinct I've always done it, I dunno why!" He explained before again flushing at Roman's comments, "You're too kind..."

Roman laughed. “I simply love showering you with kindness and affection,” he replied. “And I’m going to try and break you of that habit because your smile is extraordinary.” He tapped Patton on the nose playfully. Patton grinned, "Alright then, if you say so." He leaned in to kiss him quickly again, "You're so amazing..." He whispered. “You’re amazing, honey. I- jeez, this sounds so foolish, we’ve only known each other for a little over a week, but... I just haven’t been able to get you out of my head.” Roman smiled lovingly. “You’re one of the most refreshing people I’ve ever been around.”

Patton beamed, "Neither have I! You're just so... Incredible and attractive and kind and sweet and lovely- and... I'm... Running out of things to say!" He giggled again going to cover his mouth. Roman laughed and tugged Patton into his arms, rolling so that they were laying down on the bed. “Great heavens, it’s like you don’t even know just how precious you are!”

"Precious isn't the word I'd use, but thank you..." He smiled curling up close to him, "I can't think of words to describe just how... Amazing doesn't do it, but how amazing you are!!!"

“Oh my, well thank you! And precious is definitely one of the words I would use for you-you're more precious than the most precious of gemstones!” Roman laughed and wrapped his arms around Patton’s stomach, giving him a gentle squeeze. 

Patton squeaked at the sudden pressure around his stomach, but not in a fun cute way, the fun was over, this wasn't a game anymore. He grabbed onto Roman's arms trying to move them from him, "Don't." He said, the light playfulness of his tone, completely disappearing. Only replaced by a serious, quiet and shaky tone.

Roman froze at the change in tone, allowing Patton to move his arms away. He carefully moved them further back, his eyebrows furrowing together in concern. Sure, he was a little hurt, but... he was more worried about why Patton had reacted like that. “Are you okay?” He asked quietly, his own voice matching Patton’s tone. "Y-Yeah, I'm okay... I just... I'm- I'm sorry... I'm sorry I don't wanna ruin this already I just... I... Um..." Patton nervously stuttered trying to get a sense of the jumble of thoughts in his head and trying to haphazardly scrap them together to be coherent, but ultimately failing to do so. Not yet, not yet, not yet. Please not yet! His mind repeated

Roman’s eyes widened. “No, no, you didn’t ruin anything! Please listen.” He shifted so that he could look at Patton’s face, taking one of his hands and interlocking their fingers. “If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, or say anything that makes you upset, I want you to tell me. I want you to feel comfortable talking to me. And I don’t want you to feel bad or apologize for doing so. That’s how relationships work, right?” He gave Patton a small smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Just breathe, my love. Everything is alright.”

Patton smiled a bit and nodded, falling silent. He curled up to Roman's chest, moving in such a way that if Roman tried to wrap his arms around him again, he wouldn't touch his stomach. Patton really hoped Roman would just drop it, at least for now… Roman slowly wrapped his arms around Patton again, taking extra care to avoid his stomach. He shushed him gently, bringing a hand up to play with his soft hair. “There we go, my sunshine. I’ve got you. You’re safe here.” He began to hum quietly, hoping the sound would calm Patton further.

Patton nuzzled his face against Roman's chest, leaving small kisses there in both apology and appreciation. After a little while of Roman humming, Patton realized what song Roman was humming, and began to quietly hum along with him, calming down significantly. Roman’s heart fluttered when he realized Patton was humming with him. His eyes watered, a grin spreading across his lips, but he continued, even switching and humming a few little harmonies to compliment Patton’s melody.  A content smile appeared on Patton’s face as the two hummed. Once he had fully calmed down, he stopped humming in favor of whispering two small words, so quietly that it was barely audible, "Thank you..."

Roman’s smile widened, his hand still carding through Patton’s hair. “It’s no trouble,” he murmured. “I want to do whatever I can to make you feel special and loved.” Patton only hummed and nodded in response, obviously a bit drained and tired from this emotional-as-all-heck day... Ups and downs he was not at all prepared for, and yet again how safe and warm and comfortable he felt when Roman is cuddling him like this, made him automatically a bit more drowsy, like some kind of spell.

Roman chuckled, noticing how sleepy Patton had gotten. “Is it alright if I wipe the makeup off of your face?” He asked. “I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep and end up with irritated skin because of me.” Patton glanced up at him, his eyes half-lidded and glazed over with obvious exhaustion. He slowly nodded reaching up to take off his glasses so that Roman could take the makeup off of him, he hated that it would be take off so soon, but he's fairly sure Roman wouldn't mind doing it again.

Roman smiled and gave Patton a kiss on his forehead before climbing out of bed, grabbing a makeup wipe from his bag. He soon returned, unable to resist giving Patton another kiss before carefully removing the makeup he had so lovingly put on. When he was done, he grinned. “Just as beautiful as before,” he murmured, tossing the used makeup wipe away and curling back up with Patton. The other smiled at him, flushing red again from his small comment. Cuddling back up to Roman's chest, allowing his eyes to shut again and sleep to take him almost instantly this time, hoping when he woke up, a part of this wouldn't have happened and the rest would have

Roman chuckled, seeing that Patton had already crashed. He pulled the blankets over them, snuggling closer to his... his boyfriend. Yes, his boyfriend. He fell asleep soon after him, with a smile on his face, the word “boyfriend” echoing happily through his mind.

[Taglists under the cut, ask to be added or removed]

Sanders Sides General Taglist: @starryfirefliesbloggo @weirdsthenewnormal @purpleshipper @darkle-elkrad @just-an-anxious-mess @emo-potato-virgil @kaymischief25 @pinkpandapancakes @blueeyedscorpion @rayndropsonrosez @ts-random-pictures @aurinkari @itsme98z @lunacatzuniverse @illogicaldeath @heretoreadmyfics @echomist13 @crownswriter123 @logan-smarter-than-you-sanders @never-saygood-bye

Perfect Imperfections Taglist: @patchworkofstars @daughterofsomnus @warnadudenexttime @notveryglittery

#royality #sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #amethystdarkwrites