#i can slap together a tiefling in no time flat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

demisewrites · 4 years

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sexy times with two new OCs i’m absolutely in love with. sitri, sweet horny tiefling lad (not my oc), preparing his valentine’s day present for his husband, theodred, stoic sweet feral tiefling lad (my oc). a valentine’s day present for my friend, matt~

sitri lays himself down comfortably in bed, now fitted in the new red, satin sheets he got the day before. he has to stretch and revel in the clean sheets before tonight... where he expects them to become soiled with the activities he knows will take place once theodred returns from work. his dick twitches in his boxers in anticipation. but first, there’s work to be done.

he sighs as he sits up and starts to take off his clothes. fully naked now, he stretches. he has to, can’t risk getting a cramp now. he giggles to himself, excited. he uses his mage hand to bring over the silky red stockings he had prepared for this occasion, embroidered hearts stitched elegantly into the fabric. slipping them on, he can already imagine the hungry look on his husband’s face when he sees sitri in them. his dick twitches again, and he has to remind himself: not yet. soon.

sitri hums to himself as he sets up the room. he would have set up regular candles, but he also knows how... wild theo can get when he’s really into it. he shudders, remembering the fire two weeks ago. not. again. no, this time, he ‘borrowed’ some of dander’s candles he enchanted to burn without producing actual flames. sitri has to remember to bring it back before dander realizes... but he was never great at remembering. oh well, he shrugs.

candles set. sheets set. stockings on. all that’s left is the main gift. now, it’s time, he shivers.

he lays face down on the bed once more, ass raised up in position. like he’s done many times in the past, sitri uses his mage hand to bring his favorite set of plush leather cuffs and binds his hands together. his dick twitches again, and this time, he strokes himself, mewling in pleasure. he has to concentrate to get the mage hand to bring over the last piece: a heart shaped jeweled butt plug he got for the occasion.

using his tail to grab the lube they keep at the bedside at all time, he gasps slightly as the cold liquid drips onto his ass. the mage hand uses it to coat the plug and swirl it teasingly around the anticipating hole as sitri strokes himself faster. he wishes it was theodred, but soon, it will be. he moans a bit louder at that thought.

the mage hand pushes the plug in and moves it in and out, fucking him with it. he groans, feeling his dick grow harder and wetter at the stimulation. sitri moves the mage hand to stroke him while his tail takes over the job of fucking him with the plug. he gasps and moans, back arching as sensations bringing him closer and closer to the edge, but not enough to take him over. no, that would his husband’s job.

speaking of which... sitri’s breath hitches as he hears the familiar footsteps coming down the hall. it’s quiet, a subtle click as the polished black leather shoes hit against the stone floors. he tries to quiet his moans, hoping he hadn’t been too loud to give his surprise away yet.

the doorknob clicks as theodred unlocks it and it slowly opens. “...sitri, i’m ba—“ there’s a pause. sitri smirks, knowing that theodred had not been expecting such a display. now bolstered with confidence, sitri spreads his legs a bit wider, giving theo a good look.

“theeeeeeeo~” sitri moans out. a moan that would be a porn star to shame.

the door clicks shut, then a second click as the lock is set. there’s rustling of clothing, theo quickly trying to remove his suit. hook, line, and sinker.

there’s a shift in weight on the bed as theo joins sitri, his calloused hands moving to smooth over sitri’s ass. sitri’s tail slithers around his leg, enticing.

“what a lovely present to come home to, all prepared and ready for me,” theo’s smooth voice rumbles out, the lust in his voice evident. he slaps one of the ass cheeks, making sitri moan out so sweetly. theo’s tail wraps around his dick and starts to stroke it firmly. sitri gasps and ruts his hips against theo’s tail, wanting more of his touch. a pleasant shiver runs down his spine as theo chuckles softly. “so hard and dripping. you were enjoying yourself.”

sitri mewls in response. “i was waiting for you~” he moans into the pillow as theo presses the butt plug deeper into him.

“cute. i almost don’t want to remove it. you might have to convince me if you want it off.”

“but then how will you fit~?” sitri whines. theo slaps his ass harder and he yelps out.

“you’ve taken in more than that... i’ll make it fit.” sitri’s breath hitches. he hopes he bought enough lube for this...

“but first, i want to enjoy this view~ it’s not every day i come home to this.” theo pulls away, his tail slips away from sitri. he whines, missing the warmth and touch. he can feel theo’s intense gaze trailing his body, and it makes him shudder.

“theo, come on, i need you~” sitri tries, wiggling his butt towards theo.

“i’m trying to enjoy the view, love, but how could i say no to you?” theo’s thick tail presses against the heart plug before slipping into sitri, stretching him out more. the bumpy nubs along his tail rubs against the walls, and sitri moans louder, feeling full and good with the new sensation.

“rough or sweet today?”

“oh, just— oh fuck~! just fuck me up today~”

theo laughs slightly, slapping sitri’s ass once more. “very well. remember the safe word...” and with that, his tail goes in deeper, pressing against sitri’s prostrate. sitri’s back curves as he lets out a strangled moan.

“oh fuck yes~” sitri moans out, eyes closed in bliss. theo shifts behind sitri, one clawed hand grips his purple hair and brings him up. sitri gasps, the stinging pain mixing with the pleasure, making his dick weep more with precum.

warm lips start to roughly nip and bite at the exposed neck as the other hand roams across his chest, pinching and rolling sitri’s nipples. sitri’s moans get louder and sweeter, quickly feeling his orgasm about to hit. “theo~~ i’m...”

“not yet,” theo growls, “not until i allow you to.”

“fuck, theo, i can’t...” how is he supposed to not nut when theo is using his dom voice?

“should i get the ring then~?” sitri’s eyes widen and nods excitedly.

“oh gods yes.” he moans loudly as theo bites down on his neck in response.

“alright, be a good boy then. fuck yourself like you were doing before while i get it ready.” theo gently lowers sitri back into his initial position.

“yes sir~” sitri recasts mage hand and eagerly goes to give theo a show. he’s disappointed to feel theo’s tail exit out of him, but the promise of the ring and a more through fucking is worth the anticipation.

sitri feels theo’s hands slipping the ring around his dick, feeling the magic already starting to block his ability to cum. the mage hand strokes him faster, bringing him closer to the edge, now without the worry of accidentally cumming before theo allows it.

from the corner of his eye, he sees the light on the ring turn blue, and he nearly jolts flat onto the bed as the vibration starts. “mhmm oh fuuuuuuck!”

theo moves to be closer to sitri’s face and he grips his hair again to lift sitri up. “let’s see how you can last today. if you do better, i’ll give you a good treat.” sitri nods eagerly, “yes sir~”

he takes a quick look at theo’s dick, smirking proudly as he see his husband already hard and twitching. he only has a few moments to admire his work before theo orders, “open.”

“aaah~” sitri says playfully before taking in theo’s dick. he’s confident today, he knows he can last longer today. he WILL get those new heels he’s been eyeing and bugging theo about for two weeks.

theo curses lowly under his breath as he starts to slowly fuck sitri’s mouth. his tail wraps around sitri’s neck, forming a makeshift collar. “keep fucking yourself” he orders. sitri is more than happy to oblige, humming in response. theo moans, “that’s a good slut~ fuck, your mouth feels so good...”

theo thrusts in a few times before going as deep as sitri can take him, holding him there with his tail. “stay.” sitri breathes in deeply through his nose. ok, he can do it... theo’s knot hasn’t formed yet, so it’s a bit easier to...

wait... sitri whimpers slightly as he feels his mouth slowly expanding more open as the knot starts to form. “...maybe i should keep it there, have you take the full thing in. you said to fuck you up~” theo murmurs lowly. sitri hums in response. no, sitri can and will do this, knot or no knot. he is a dumb slut, but a good slut, damn it.

“oh~? you want to take it?”

sitri hums again. bring it on. despite having his mouth full, he swirls his tongue best he can around theo’s dick, making the older tiefling groan in pleasure. his tail tightens slightly around sitri’s neck. the knot grows bigger. “...you really want those heels, huh?”

sitri can’t speak, but the vibration from his throat gives theo the impression that he’s saying “HELL YEAH I DO”, which makes theo laugh, breaking his dominate persona for a moment. “fuck, you’re so adorable. i love you so much...” his heart swells at the genuineness in his husband’s tone.

the persona is back on as the knot grows to its full size, completely gagging sitri. theo whistles lowly, impressed. “well~ let’s see how long you can hold it now.” he ruts into his mouth, groaning and moaning.

sitri screws his eyes shut, trying to not think about the increasing soreness in his jaw. luckily his gag reflex hasn’t triggered yet, thanking his years of service to his patron for that. the vibration on the ring increases, making him moan around theo. his dick is throbbing painfully and dripping, soaking and staining the sheet below him completely. sitri wants to cum so badly, but the ring stops him until theo’s command. he moves his mage hand to his ass, shoving two fingers into him next to the butt plug, wanting to recreate that fullness he felt with theo’s tail.

“...fuck, sitri, my lovely, little fuck toy~ i can’t wait to fuck your tight ass and make you scream~” theo growls. sitri moans louder, vibrating around theo deliciously. he wants to scream “just fuck me already, shove your knot into me!”, but said knot has him gagged at the moment. so he swirls his tongue around it best he can. theo mutters under his breath.

“...alright, time. well done, pet~ you’ve earned those heels.” sitri’s tail swishes around in victory.

the vibration stops around the ring, and sitri whines. it takes a bit of time to coax the knot safely out of sitri’s mouth, being let go out a *pop* as sitri gasps for much needed air. the dominate persona slips for a second time as theo brushes away a few stray tears from sitri’s cheeks.

“still good?” he asks softly. sitri smiles broadly and nods. “yeah! still good~” he purrs, nuzzling against theo’s touch. theo smiles and gives him a quick kiss. “just making sure... now...”

the persona slips back on as theo’s smile turns into a smirk. “i think you deserve to be throughly fucked now~” sitri mewls, dick twitching once more. “oh, fuck yes, please sir, please fuck me~ i’ve been so good~”

theo smacks his ass roughly, making him moan sweetly. “you’ve been very good, pet. and since you said please, how could i say no?” sitri’s breath hitches excitedly. theo lets him fall on his face into the pillow with an “oof!”, almost letting out a “rude”. he’s been good so far though, he can’t risk talking back today. he NEEDS those heels.

he tries to look behind to theo. he hears theo rustling through drawers, looking for something. he hears a cork pop off of a bottle and feels something very warm and wet drip on his entrance. “i remember you also liking this the last time we used it. i made this blend recently, so it’s extra potent.” theo rubs and fingers him a bit, keeping the heart shaped plug in place. sitri moans, trying to recall what— oh!

the warmth starts to spread into him, making him feel tingly and more sensitive to every touch. “should also help with this next part~”

he whimpers softly as he feels theo’s dick prod his entrance, heart plug still buried inside him. he spreads his legs a little more, bracing himself. his back curves and he buries his head into the pillow, moaning wantonly as theo pushes in, heart plug and dick stretching him out. theo waits a moment, before slamming his knot deep into sitri.

sitri screams, eyes rolling back into his head, feeling so full and nearly cries as his body spasms, wanting to cum, but still unable to. “oh fuck oh fuck fuck theo, fuck fuck,” he moans. the sensitivity is so much. every nerve is on fire.

theo grips his hips and starts to slam into him relentlessly, growling and snarling, animalistic instincts starting to kick in. the vibration start up again, and sitri’s mind goes blank as he screams out again in ecstasy. he’s unable to form any more words, just moans and screams.

sitri barely feels theo pick him up with ease, sitting him on his lap. he hooks his arms around sitri’s legs, connecting his hands together behind his neck, trapping sitri completely and continues to fuck him in that position. sitri feels theo go in even deeper than before, and it makes him see stars.

“ooh fuck, theo, please please let me cum please!!”

he’s only met with a snarl and a bite to his shoulder. the vibrations get stronger.

“PLEASE SIR, LET ME CUM!” sitri screams. it’s all so much, so good.

“more, beg.”

“PLEASE! I WANT TO CUM. YOUR COCK IS TOO GOOD, PLEASE LET ME CUM!”

“mine...” theo bites down harder, marking sitri as his.

“YES OH GODS YES, YOURS, I’M YOURS. FUCK ME, THEO PLEASE!”

the color of the ring changes to white as the vibration go to the maximum speed. sitri screams and spasms as he cums hard all over the bed. theodred continues to fuck him through the orgasm before slamming into sitri one last time with a snarl, cumming deep inside him.

sitri wakes up later, theo busying himself cleaning up their mess. he notices his husband stirring, and nuzzles up to sitri, purring lowly. “...how are you feeling...?”

he sighs and curls up against theo. “sore,” he giggles, “but fuck, i feel great~” theo smiles gently and nods. “...got you some water if you’re thirsty.”

“oooh, yes please!” he takes the water and gulps it down, feeling refreshed. they curl up to each other, tails wrapping around as they drift to sleep.

#mlm #smut #fluff #aftercare

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raudskegg · 7 years

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Ooghie, Honorary Dwarf

Quick note: This is not my work, but from a 4chan greentext on Reddit, but I thought it was too perfect to not be shared.

Let me regale you with the tale of my parties beloved Oohgie, Honorary Dwarf.

Our party consisted of good friends that had known each other, a reformed That Guy, and Lucas the veteran. We had a pretty decent group, consisting of a Dwarf Warrior, Human Paladin, Human Warlock, Tiefling Rogue, me playing a Half-Elf Ranger, and a Human Mage.

We were in the relatively early stages of an epic campaign, and had been greeted by a sudden surge of slightly stronger enemies. What made these enemies slightly sturdier? Well, according to our DM, they had been gifted with what could only be described as ‘slap-dash metal riveted together by clumsy hands’. This led us to a few leads in town that culminated in hearing of an Ogre that had taken up residence in an abandoned forge and begun crafting rudimentary armor and weapons for the local minions, and of course this led to our first quest; Kill the Ogre, stop the attacks.

After what felt like an hour of minion stomping and quest cruisin’, we found the forge, and killed a few of the outlying minions to prevent an unwelcome intrusion with the upcoming boss fight. We prepared ourselves (No cleric, had to be especially careful with potion rations, added some fun to the game), and had the Tiefling sneak in and make sure we could sneak up without any trouble, or annoying traps going off. She gave us the all clear, and we shuffled inside, praying our sneak checks held up.

Inside the large forge, we followed the sound of clanging metal and deep grunts. Lucas took the lead, preparing to call in a few favors from Bahamut, with Raj the Dwarf following closely behind him. When we turned the corner, the DM informed us we saw the large shape moving around the anvil and smelter, which we all knew meant the Ogre. I asked to roll for initiative, to sneak in a shot and perhaps swing the battle to our favor, but Lucas had another plan.

Lucas rolls for a diplomacy check, and takes the lead by speaking with the Ogre.

“Why are you making armor for evil?”

The Ogre stopped and turned around in surprise. The DM apparently was surprised we didn’t flat out attack, and he asked us for a moment to pen something down. After his pen stopped, he cleared his throat.

“Make armor here. Ogre’s no like make armor, so make armor for gob-gobs. They like.”

The Ogre then went on to tell us about how he discovered a book about crafting, and decided to try making some himself. Judging from the simplicity of the story, our DM hadn’t expected us to be diplomatic and just threw together something to explain why an Ogre would want to spend his time with a hammer and anvil instead of hunting adventurers and eating goats.

As the story dragged on, and we learned that the Ogre had been kicked out for finding a book from another culture, we slowly kinda silently agreed to avoid killing him, since the image of this 9 foot tall Ogre tinkering away at an anvil to make small-medium sized armor was too funny to pass up. When the Ogre got to the part where he revealed he couldn’t read the book (which was a Dwarven guide apparently) and was just following the pictures, Lucas decided to chime in.

“Why don’t you come with us? We have a Dwarf who can translate the book for you, and you can learn to make better armor.”

The DM looked a little confused, but decided that the Ogre would be allowed to be a friendly NPC in the party if we all allowed it.

And thus we were joined by Oohgie the Crafting Ogre.

First thing we did once we went into town was calm the mob that had appeared and attempted to kill Oohgie. Five diplomacy checks, a bluff check, and almost a third of my gold later, the town relents and lets us stay with him for the night. Oohgie was really excited by this prospect and asked if he could visit the blacksmith, which Lucas had to explain was probably not a good idea. Since there wasn’t a room in town big enough to hold him, we told Oohgie to sleep in the stables.

“Oohgie understand. Oohgie try not make hummies mad.”

That night, before ending the session, we joked about how silly this all was, taking in an Ogre that didn’t want to fight. We told some jokes, made a few jabs at how we thought the Ogre was going to bite the dust, and called it a session.

Next session, we woke up, paid for food until the next town, and left the inn, picking up Oohgie from the stables on the way out.

During the journey, Oohgie kept bothering Raj, the Dwarf, and asking about 'Crafty-Smiths’ and 'Clang-clang tools’. Now, Raj is my Dude-bro I’ve known for years, and even though this is obviously bothering him answering every question, he at least tries to be nice to the insistent pestering. In hindsight, this was probably our DM’s attempt to leave Oohgie behind so he could get back to the focus, but we managed to persist and kept him with us to the next town.

This time, deciding that we cannot afford to argue Oohgie into town every and spend half our income. Being a ranger, I offer to set up a camp just outside the town’s borders that we can keep Oohgie and hunt some pelts for extra income. Raj offers to stay in camp with me and Oohgie, with Lucas heading into town for the temple and the Rogue, Wizard and Warlock will search for quests.

As we set up the tents, I ask if it’s possible to use Oohgie as a deterrent against mobs in the local area. The DM allows a roll, and with a 17, says that Oohgie’s natural 'musk’ alerts the other monsters in the area to stay away. Raj stayed behind as I pick off some local wildlife for our dinner.

While I hunted, Oohgie asked Raj more questions about the book.

“How Oohgie make?”

“You can’t. That needs a bar of iron and a forge.”

“Oohgie make forge?”

“I, uh, don’t think there’s enough materials around here to do that.”

The Wizard returned to our camp, letting the Rogue and Warlock threaten a local mayor for a better reward. The Wizard proposed he make a temporary forge for Oohgie using some spells and his fire magic. As for iron, the group has a bag of holding full of old weapons we had earned from defeating a minor demon. Oohgie, who was ecstatic at the idea, asked if he could make armor for his 'Dwarfy friend who read Oohgie book’. Not seeing the harm in such an idea, we agreed and Oohgie set to work.

In the morning, when we had awoken, Lucas, the Rogue, and the Warlock had also returned to camp. After we explained the plan for the newest quest, we gathered up our things and decided to wake Oohgie. Turns out the poor bastard had spent half the night banging away at the old pile of scrap and made a chest-piece, aptly titled by the DM as 'Oohgies Chess Peace o’ Protect’, which was described as a hodge-podge of metal sheets roughly slapped together. Raj, being such a Dude-bro, offered to wear it despite it having one less protection point against slash. As the DM described Oohgie’s dumb smiling face, I felt a pang of guilt for making fun of him.

Many quests continued on with Oohgie the Crafting Ogre, who had the neat ability to craft a priece of armor or weapon every 1d4 nights, and the DM would use 2d20’s to determine the item he crafted. About two months of in game time passed, and Oohgie had made us some slightly less than useful items, with no sign of improving. Sometimes we’d sell the things he made, other-times we wore them for Oohgie, just to make him happy. By the fifth quest, I had an 'Oohgie’s Wristy Gerd Gloves’.

When we finally located one of the main storyline quests, we also happened to pass by a temple of Moradin, which had two dozen forges surrounding it for his followers to craft weapons for Paladins. It was like trying to hold a 9 foot tall child back from a toy-store.

“Oohgie see Crafty-Smiths! Maybe one teach Oohgie make better armor!”

“Best not rush them, Oohgie,” Raj said, rolling for a diplomacy check to calm Oohgie down.

“But Oohgie want make better armor for friends.”

That hit us hard, and Lucas, being the de facto head, took the lead.

“Oohgie, you can’t enter the forges. They’re only for Moradin’s craftsmen.”

“What mean?”

“Only Dwarves are allowed in.”

Oohgie seemed a little confused, before whimpering like a hurt animal. We decided to drag him back to a tent outside town and let him calm down there, but not before he made a decision looking at those forges.

“Oohgie will become Dwarf.”

The next few sessions were filled with a mix of heartache and heartwarming. Oohgie tried extra hard to make better armor, and Raj now found a full time hobby teaching Oohgie to read Dwarvish script. Every now and again, Oohgie’s efforts paid off, and his armor would be as good if not slightly above what we were wearing, but it still was terribly built and barely held together. Just a result of something so big not having the dexterity to make the fine tuning of professionally crafted armor. Every now and then, Oohgie would ask the group, specifically Raj, how he was doing.

“Oohgie Dwarf now?”

“Not yet, I don’t think. Maybe if you try harder.”

“Oohgie can do.”

Oohgie seemed to become more determined every day, clanging away at his magic forge, combining what little scrap we found for him to throw together. He also began asking Lucas for help with contacting Moradin to become a Dwarf. We tried doing what we could in our spare time, but we also had to focus on the BBEG of the setting, since we didn’t want to derail the whole thing for our DM who had been a pretty chill dude up to this point about the whole thing.

We told Oohgie that we had to fight a big bad guy, and that we needed to focus on saving the world. Oohgie seemed to understand, and asked for a little bit of metal, promising to stop asking if we got it for him. We relented, and turned over the last pieces of metal for him in exchange for him helping us on the quests. The DM told us that Oohgie isn’t designed for the combat levels we were at by this point, but he could help a little if we were careful. Worst case scenario, we pull him back, Lucas performs Lay On Hands, and we’re good.

We slowly uncovered a conspiracy that ties to an ancient forgotten god, one who was worshiped as the god of destruction and undoing. Pretty sweet stuff as we kept getting closer and closer. The armor from Oohgie stopped showing up, but it was okay, we found cheap armor. We made an effort to save the pieces that Oohgie had crafted for us, out of loyalty to our curious, big Crafty-Smith friend. Oohgie never seemed to ask for metal anymore, but we heard him clanging away every night before we would fall asleep.

The lessons continued, with Raj teaching Oohgie more and more about Moradin, but he couldn’t answer the most spiritual of them, only being a warrior who happened to be a Dwarf. For the questions about the gods methods, Lucas was there to answer his questions.

“How Oohgie talk to Moradin?”

“You pray, and ask for guidance.”

“Moradin show Oohgie how make better armor?”

“If he sees fit to, he shall guide you.”

“How Oohgie know?”

“You won’t, but you have to believe.”

“Oohgie believe.”

After awhile, Oohgie began splitting the time between speaking with Lucas about Moradin, which he thought was the quickest way to becoming a Dwarf, and practicing his rudimentary Dwarvish, which he used to read his first book. He faded more and more into our groups 'project’, a background character. We still cared for him, but we just couldn’t afford to baby-sit him as we leveled up. He also insisted on having Lucas ask Moradin if he was a Dwarf yet.

“Moradin make Oohgie Dwarf now?”

“That is not my place to tell, Oohgie.”

“Oohgie pray but Moradin not talking. Did Oohgie do it wrong?”

“It is not my place to tell, but I believe the gods work in mysterious ways.”

“Oohgie understand. Make better armor soon for friends.”

As we cleared out more and more dungeons, we started to realize that we had made a mistake dragging Oohgie along. He just couldn’t keep up to our leveling, and he couldn’t get any useful perks. He started to become a hassle. By the time we were at the final stretch of the quest, facing the ancient cult summoning the god, we had a silent agreement to leave Oohgie behind, lest he get hurt.

We executed the play perfectly. The last town before the invasion, we told Oohgie to stay with the magic forge and practice alone for a few days, and that we were going to get him more metal to work with. Oh course the big lug agreed, and after casting a spell to keep the fires going for a week, we set out, Oohgie clanging away happily. We didn’t look back. But you can be damned sure we didn’t leave with a smile.

Two hours into the dungeon, and we knew we had messed up.

First off, we failed one too many sneaks and bluffs, and that meant the cultists had finished their mission in summoning the god of undoing. He was essentially an Orcus without the secrecy. Pragmatic as hell, he immediately begins to cast a bunch of seals and spells that trap us in the room, and then debuffs our armor to the point it’s unraveling back into scrap.

Our Warlock was protecting our Wizard with a low level demon, our Rogue was stealthily trying to pickpocket the dead cultists for anything that might help, Raj and Lucas led the attack, and I was firing a volley every chance I got, rolling for anything that might break his ungodly armor. We were using everything, and had run out of potions. Lucas had no more Lay On Hands available thanks to a dozen cultists cutting off his prayers to Bahamut. It was only now that we regretted not having a cleric.

The god approached Lucas and Raj, and without a hint of a monologue, proceeds to wreck their shit. He breaks Raj’s armor, shatters the divine shield Lucas was using, and then readies his next round of spells.

And then, the DM rolled for initiative..

From behind me, a large metal sphere flew out and thumped the god. Not enough to hurt him, but it was a high enough roll to disrupt his spell.

“Oohgie done crafting.”

From behind us, standing in the large doorway, stood an Ogre, clad in a terribly mismatched set of armor emblazoned with a hammer of Moradin on it’s chest piece. In his right hand, an enormous hammer the size of a stone column and made of the same dented metal. Suddenly, all the nights of clanging made sense. Oohgie wanted to help, and we just thought he was a burden.

Oohgie charged forward, rolling a 17 on his first roll, and with the god suffering from 'stupefication’ because of his entrance, landed his first hit. It was the most damaging hit we had done to the god, and it had been dealt by an Ogre that was wearing what looked like the rejected arts and crafts project of a preschooler.

We sat there for a moment in stunned silence, as the DM described the armor and hammer he carried, calling it a crude mimicry of the holy hammers and suits of armor worn by paladins of Moradin.

“You no hurt-”

Clang

“Ohgie’s friends!”

Clang

“No more!”

Clang

hree hits, each one doing a little less than the last, but still doing something. During this affair, the Rogue finally hit a natural 20, and found the cultist leaders emergency reagents to shut the whole spell down on his corpse. She rolled for the toss to Lucas, who had enough armor to take another hit if he needed to get close. Oohgie roared and attempted a grapple, using his natural modifiers to hold him, a god of destruction, for a brief moment.

“Oohgie palydin now, too! Help Moradin, help Lucas! Like real Dwarf!”

We felt a pang of guilt .

We had left this guy behind so he couldn’t bother us with his quest to becoming a Dwarf, but here he was, wearing that stupid smile, wearing that stupid armor, and pulling that stupid move. Lucas sighed heavily and we all rolled for our respective abilities. There was a brief moment where we thought that we had this thing down, until Lucas and our Warlock stopped and realized the flaw in the plan.

“Oohgie still isn’t high level.”

With that, our turn ended, and the DM rolled for the god’s attack versus Ooghies grapple.

I wish I could say Ooghie had a natural 20. I wish I could say that his modifier gave him just enough to hold the god down. But I can’t.

The god rolled 14

Ooghie rolled 5

The DM then informed us that not only did the god break the grapple, but now had stunned Ooghie long enough to cast a spell of 'Destruction’.

Point blank at Ooghie’s chest.

As I said before, very rarely did Oohgie craft armor that matched the level stats of armor we bought in town.

He was wearing armor that was almost 2 levels below his current level. And his current level was lower than any of us.

Oohgie collapsed in a heap, and the god turned to face us.

For those that don’t know, our Warlock was once That Guy. He had a major falling out with the DM and Lucas, and reformed himself. He never got along with Lucas, but he was willing to not be a jerk as long as Lucas didn’t call him out on stuff again.

This was the only time I saw our Warlock look across the table and ask Lucas for help.

“I need a favor. And I need it now.”

Lucas moved to cover the Warlock, who charged forward with a series of demons in tow. Our Warlock may have been a jerk a tad, but he was a jerk with a good amount of demons on call for favors.

He called every single one of them in.

The DM, knowing what this meant to us, didn’t bother to ask for our rolls. Every demon snuck in a hit, and with a Dwarf at his heels, a Wizard freezing his balls, and a ranger firing arrows into every square inch of flesh exposed on his hide, it was no wonder the god never saw our rogue behind him with the sealing amulet and scroll of desolation from the cultist leader.

Before the god even returned to the astral plane, we rushed to Oohgie, who was managing to hang on by the merest thread of life possible. Lay on Hands was next to useless, and with no potions, we all knew what we were watching. We were watching Ooghie die, and even after we had killed a god, conquered dungeons, and leveled evil kingdoms, we couldn’t even save our friend.

“Oohgie sorry he got in way.”

“You didn’t, you did great-”

“Oohgie sorry he not make good armor like Dwarf.”

“We love your armor, big guy, don’t think like that.”

I had never seen Lucas try so hard to call in a favor from Bahamut, or roll so desperately for a miracle. Even the Warlock was searching his sheets for a demon who might help without too hefty a price, no no avail.

Oohgie know why Moradin no talk to Oohgie. Oohgie hands too big n’ clumsy, so Oohgie not make small armor nice and pretty.”

“It’s fine Oohgie, just hang on, we’re going to save you.”

“Oohgie knew he not good Crafty-smith when he saw Dwarf temple, and Crafty-smiths look at him funny, but Oohgie try anyways.”

I’m a touchy-feely guy, and I know Oohgie was a figment of our imagination, but when you see Lucas, a veteran who lost his left leg to a bomb before he was twenty five, holding back tears, you know it wasn’t just me being blubbery when I say that we were tearing up.

“Oohgie not good Crafty-smith with armor and weapons, but Oohgie good crafty-smith at something. Oohgie can make good story.”

At this point, our Rogue hid behind her screen, and the Warlock just stared down at his sheet, having stopped searching for his demon to deal with.

“Oohgie think Dwarves make good armor and stories, which why Oohgie wanted be Dwarf, but Oohgie understand he not Dwarf, and he not be Dwarf ever.”

Oohgie’s breathing began to slow, and Raj grabbed his hand, holding it as best he could

“You could be a Dwarf, Oohgie. You could be the best Ogre Dwarf in the land.”

Oohgie closed his eyes and smiled

“Oohgie like that. He go sleep now.”

And like that, our party lost Oohgie the Crafty-smith, and we all think a little something died with him inside all of us.

We looted the dungeon, killed the remaining cultists, and made our way back to the nearest village, one that happened to have a temple and forge for followers of Moradin. When we entered the town, we all took notice that the forges were louder than ever, and half the town seemed to be gathered around the temple. Naturally curious, we moved closer.

At first, we were rolling to push through, until Lucas used a favor from Bahamut to project a holy shout and clear the path. We got closer and closer to the entrance, we saw more and more Dwarves, some wearing the emblem of Moradin, others in the attire of his sacred blacksmiths. As we reached the entrance, knowing we weren’t allowed in, we asked a priest if he could tell us what the fuss was. The priest asked us if we had been involved with the destruction of a god of undoing.

Of course we were, so he led us inside. Deep inside the mountain, past the pillars, and past the gorgeously carved hallways and stone arches, and into the deepest parts of the forge’s sanctums. We witnessed dozens of Dwarves mill around, throwing around orders and commands in ancient Dwarvish. The priest pointed to what had been causing the ruckus.

“We received divine word that Moradin the Creator has ordered a statue to be erected to honor the fall of the god.”

The Dwarves tugged out a large, metal and marble stature from a crafting vault.

“And the appointment of a new Apprentice to his mighty forges in the halls of his domain.”

There, crafted by the finest Dwarven artisans, was an enormous, thirty foot tall statue of Oohgie, complete with a golden hammer, a silver book of Dwarven crafting, and a beard befitting a Dwarf.

'Oohgie Good-Crafter, Honorary Dwarf of Moradin and Crafty-smith of the Forge.’

That was the first time I cried playing D&D.

After a year of sessions in D&D, I elected to have my hero, the Half-Elven Ranger, retire into God-hood as a Deity of Honorable Hunting. Upon ascension, I asked for a favor. As great as my weapons were in the mortal realms, the fact was that I needed something more suited for godly duties, so they needed to be reworked. And I knew exactly who I wanted to remake them.

Moradin welcomed me into his forges, obviously happy to have his apprentices practice with their skills in crafting weapons fit for gods. When I asked if it would be possible to have someone specific work on it, he knew exactly who I wanted, and led me to a grand hall where dozens of Dwarves were gathered around a large figure clanging away happily at an anvil.

There, wearing his iconic slap-dash armor over an enormously enlarged Dwarf robe, was Oohgie, wearing the biggest, dumbest smile you could ever imagine. He looked up, smiled, and picked me up, laughing and hugging as I tried not to cry. When he finally put me down, I showed him what I had wanted to show him ever since he left our group. I held up my hands, and showed him what I was wearing for celestial armor.

There, on my hands, were 'Oohgie’s Wristy Gerd Gloves’, battered from years of use and adventures, and raised to the level of a god’s armor.

And that is the story of Oohgie the Honorary Dwarf, and Crafty-smith of the Forge.

#dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #orge #all the feels

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thedancingsix-blog · 7 years

Text

Episode 1: The Beginning

Note from Mod Biri: So this is the first go at dungeons and dragons, but we didn’t come up with the idea for this blog until the second episode. As such, this is a recreation of what actually happened, as accurate as I could make it but still a little iffy. This is completely based off my recollections and what the others could remember rather than an actual recording, so the phrasing and actions might not quite match up with later episodes. It should be fairly close however, so enjoy the first episode!

The beginning of our tale takes us to the city of Pol, a large coastal town whose busy atmosphere and population drew our heroes to the city. Piper, Lucius, and Calliope, a semi-established adventuring party with a little experience under their belts entered the first tavern they found after reentered the city. They ordered drinks, laughing and celebrate their victory over a fire mage who had been threatening the outskirts city. They partied for some time before Calliope’s keen eyes noticed something in the far corner of the tavern.

Half hidden by a heavy cloak and the shadows of the dim light, a massive, hulking figure sat alone at a table, an empty mug before them. She nudged her companions, jerking her chin to the corner.

Lucius gave her a concerned glance, but Piper laughed and waved down the bar keep, his cheeks pink as he took the mug over to the figure. He slapped the ale on the table, giving the figure a wide grin. “Have a drink!” he exclaimed, his giggling interrupted by the occasional hiccup.

The figure looked up at him, sapphire scales shining in the torch light. The blue dragonborn eyed him, distrusting.

Piper grinned back, pushing the drink closer to her. Her cloak shuddered, and he gaped as a small red arm emerged, reaching for the mug.

The dragonborn broke her stare, smacking the arm away from the drink. “Not for you,” she rumbled, glaring over her shoulder.

The mass on her back rustled, and a head popped up beside the dragonborn. The young tiefling pouted, resting her chin on her companion’s shoulder. “Aw, come on! Just one?” she asked, nudging the dragonborn.

“How old are you again?” her companion retorted, raising a brow.

“Thirteen! You said that was almost an adult!” the tiefling exclaimed, sticking an arm out of the cloak to gesture wildly. “For dragonborns, I said thirteen was almost an adult for dragonborns! You human types take another half a decade to be at the same point, Freedom,” she said, glaring at the young tiefling.

Calliope and Lucius walked toward the group, stopping beside their friend. As they approached, the tiefling whipped around, golden eyes staring at Lucius. The youngling pressed herself flat against her older companion, and beneath the cloak her tail twitched.

The dragonborn groaned and reached for the ale, taking a swig of the alcohol. She slammed the mug on the table and muttered in draconic under her breath, eyeing the newcomers.

“Guys! This is… uhh… Freedom! And… I didn’t get your name,” he said, looking to the dragonborn.

“I didn’t give it,” she answered.

Piper grinned, “Oh, ok! I’m Piper, this is Calliope,” he gestured to bard, “and Lucius!”

The chromatic dragonborn looked between them, examining them before nodding. “This is Freedom, I am Turnuroth,” she said.

Freedom broke her stare, swinging to glare at her. “What are you talking about? Your name is Biri! Not… that! You said it was bad to lie to people!” she exclaimed.

“Yes it is! It’s my last name, you know, your family name?” the dragonborn argued, turning her full attention to the child.

“Who goes by their last name? I don’t run around calling myself ‘Todd’,” Freedom retorted.

Biri sighed, rubbing her temple. “You are such a brat, you know that?” she grumbled, jostling the tiefling.

Freedom cackled and ducked back into the cloak, falling to the group with a quiet thump. She stood and brushed herself off, sticking her tongue out at Biri. The dragonborn rolled her eyes and took another swig of her ale. “Hi, I’m Freedom! I’m a druid!” she chirped, smiling at the half elves.

“Sort of,” Biri muttered.

“Shh! Yes I am!” she said, tail twitching to slap her companions arm.

“Uh, hi, I’m Calliope and I’m a bard,” Calliope said, waving at the youngling.

Freedom gave her a shy smile. “So, what brings you to Pol?” she asked.

“We killed a fire mage! Well, Piper did. But we helped,” Calliope explained, nudging her companion.

Freedom’s jaw dropped. “Whoa! That’s so cool, how’d you do it?” she asked, look to the intoxicated monk.

He flushed, hiding his face in his hands. “I thought we agreed to never mention that again,” he murmured.

“Take pride in your victories, monk. Who cares how it happened, you beat your opponent and proved your strength over their’s, what’s there to be embarrassed about that?” Biri said, setting the mug back on the table.

The half elf shook his head, letting out a loud groan.

“Humanoids make not sense,” Biri muttered, turning back to her mug.

“Um, excuse me, did I hear you right? You’re the ones to kill that fire mage?” a female’s voice rang out. The party turned to face the newcomer. A bulky silver dragonborn stood behind them, wringing her hands.

“Yes?” Calliope said, looking at her in confusion.

“Oh, wonderful! My name is Salis, and I’m the blacksmith around here. I’m in need of help, and I want to hire you for it if you’d be willing to do it.”

The three half elves looked between themselves, eyes wide.

“I’d pay you, of course! And it’s nothing too crazy, I’ve just been having issues with thieves in the recent weeks and I need help finding them,” she said, giving them a nervous smile.

Freedom gasped, spinning around and leaning over to Biri, whispering to her. The blue female’s eyes widened and the skin at the tip of her snout turned purple.

“No! I am not going after every dragonborn I come I contact with!” she hissed, eyeing Salis.

The metallic hadn’t noticed their exchange, her attention on Piper.

“How much?” Calliope interjected, crossing her arms.

Salis blinked. “Oh, um how does sixty gold each sound? Including anyone else in your party that isn’t here,” she offered.

“Deal,” Lucius murmured, speaking up for the first time.

“Oh perfect! It’s too late to start now, but you could meet me back here tomorrow, say around noon?”

The half demon glanced at his companions and nodded again.

“Perfect!” Salis chirped, clapping her hands together. “Thank you very much, I look forward to working with you!”

Lucius nodded, giving her a small smirk. She waved at the party before turning and walking away.

“Oh, can we come too?” Freedom asked, looking to Calliope, eyes wide, “this sounds interesting.”

The bard smiled, “sure! More the merrier! You seem fun, I can’t see why not. Right Piper?” The monk nodded, fiddling with the flask on his belt.

The tiefling smiled, “Sweet!”

“I need another drink,” Biri groaned, rubbing her forehead.

Freedom turned to her with a frown. “You sound like an alcoholic. Which is weird because you don’t drink too much.”

“I don’t enjoy dealing with metallics, it never ends well,” she said, “they never act right around chromatics and they tend to try to cheat us if given half the chance.”

“Oh… Well maybe this time it’ll be different!” Freedom said, “but tell me more about this fire mage, I’m curious.”

Calliope grinned, “Well you see, it all started by accident…”

To be continued!

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