#i cant deal with them today help

[animentality]

full random, pre-tadpoled durge gets sick (idk if that's even possible but let's play with our toys a little) after a night together. What would gortash, our favourite evil petty selfish but madly in love lordling, do?

you want me to say something really cute about gortash serving them breakfast in bed, but i know for a fact that if he had something he needed done the next morning, he'd absolutely kick their sick ass out of bed and make them do it, illness or not.

or he'd take advantage of their physical weakness, and get some free blowies out of it because he knows they're delirious and fever stricken and he's an opportunistic pervert at heart.

yeah.

#baldurs gate 3 #enver gortash #dark urge #durgetash #IM SORRY ANON #i know you wanted something cute and all but i have a hard time believing gortash would be a nurturing mother hen if the dark urge was sick #he'd be like get off your ass you told me youd kill people today #go be sick later #the dark urge similarly would kick his ass if he was unconveniently sick #i like writing soft durgetash and all but for some reason #the potential of them being sick doesnt work for me #i think its because #the softness comes from accepting that they are equals and finding this camaraderie from having to be strong all the time #and never show weakness #when they show weakness? #when one falters due to physical limits? #like sharks smelling blood in the water #they cant help what they become #opportunistic animals #perhaps its because they dont know how to deal with their feelings #but it makes them uncomfortable when the other acts...human #when theyre humanized #by their mortal limits #and it upsets them for reasons they dont quite understand

[lunarflare64]

I never claimed to be the responsible one in this body *takes a sip of whiskey on a completely empty stomach, having last eaten 11 hours ago and it only being half a bag of chips, no breakfast to speak of*

#look i dont think i was the one that fucked up breakfast but come on #who the hell looks away from food in this adhd ass body? #we all know if we dont immediately dig in we'll forget it exists and it'll get gross #so no breakfast and all i could manage to handle was the chips and nothing else sooooo #nothing went to plan today our life is in shambles #we should never rely on other people to do fucking anything and we should never plan around them either #didnt do chores didnt eat its a fucking miracle we took our meds #im gonna fucking drink and we're gonna TRY to not be snappish at our mum for not at least notifying us that the plans were cancelled #cant entirely blame her shes showing signs of VERY early stages of dementia. her memory isnt gonna last forever #and she doesnt have the coping mechanisms we have with our memory issues because shes used to having a reliable memory to fall back on #it'll take time for her to adjust to her brain being unreliable like this and it'll take longer than it took for us #amnesia from childhood is VERY different from amnesia appearing late into adulthood ('late' shes 41) #its gotta be weird and probably very upsetting #we were a little confused about it at first when she took our reminders as insults #if youre new to memory struggles reminders are helpful right? wrong. its not about practicality its about being deemed as unreliable #even if its true in a completely objective sense #whatever we know theres times where we wont completely understand what shes dealing with - different experiences and all that #the tism on our end doesnt help #we just cant tell when reminders are welcome so we dont give them at all anymore #even when it fucks us over - like today! ☆ #gods we're tired

[audiovisualrecall]

The two sketchbooks side by side 😊

#want to jump to gluing it in but if i spritz the inside of the covers and then put them under weight overnight it might take the bend out of #the boards and if i glue in i cant do anything about it #I'm off tomorrow at least but I'm gonna look into health insurance stuff tomorrow... #i was going to do work health insurance and stay till i find something else. but i cant deal with them anymore #i had a meltdown again today and had someone tattle on me to a store leadership when she could have helped me instead #and anyway ma thinks its worth looking into the state health insurance plans...seeing if theyll cover my meds and my drs.... #so i could just quit and try something else #instead of trying to fit into a box that isnt made for me i can try to do the Artist Thing #and to do so i need time to just make art. #anyways..still gonna enroll thru work but research will happen #and I'll still job hunt anyway

[melissa-titanium]

GOD therseomuch shit to do i thought id have time today to DO stuff. its the fucking weekend why do ihave to do 2 classes and go outside and literally do something for school . the weekDAYS are always busy i havent had a free moment since i fucking joined

#mel roars #and i forgot to clean cicis fucking litter #like forgot as in for nearly a week #everyone always asks why im never getting another fucking pet THAT is why #because if i cant take care of it then all thats gonna happen is its going to suffer under my care #i have so much fucking due art SO many people messaging me i was LITERALLY going to delete my toyhouse account 2 days ago just to fucking #have a moment of relief #ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD ACTUALLY. this ius normal for so many people to balance their social lives and school and work and shit but i CANT #i cant adhere to a schedule ill lose my fucking mind #i was miserable at my dads but god if it wasnt awesome to Have Free Time #i guess not talking to human beings or going outside for 2 straight years had its Perks #im so fucking sorry to everyone who has to deal with me i am SINCERELY so fucking sorry #i want to do so much stuff with so many people but its always Oh sorry i had to do something :( Sorry i cant do it today Sorry im not free #Sorry sorry sorry SORRY FUCKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY CANT I ACTUALLY JUST DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE #ITS ALWAYS APOLOGIES AND YET??? NOTHING EVER CHANGES??????? #and everyone knows this. every single person i have ever spoken to knos im a fucking shit at keeping promises or apologies and it SUCKS it #fucking sucks. can some one take me into their garage and put me down Please #pleas eplease pleasePLEAePLEASAE PLEASE i cant take it anymore fucking help me #i just need SOME one to tell me Directly that i am doing things wrong that im UPSETTING them because i KNOW I AM but i also DONT #unless i recieve it directly from them. god . pleasae. can someone just tell me to shut the fuck up alreasdy

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm going to throw something. I'm on my third 9 hour shift in a row scheduled with the two most useless coworkers at once who keep disappearing to do fuck all while I'm manning front by myself and packing 5 orders at once

#work tag #theyre like fighting to fill the drinks which are done last while im packing multiple orders at once and have a counter full of pepsis #like thats not fcking helpful what good are drinks without meals and when i cant tell which meal theyre for #they just kept disappearing or restock things that were practically full meanwhile weve run out of napkins so im tryna restock #the the napkins for a customer whilst also handing over an order and reassure another customer ill take his order in a sec #but thank fck they added 2 more pepsis to the ten we already had and refilled our full ice tray 🙄 #the 5 orders at once isnt an exaggeration I literally had 5 eat in trays out being filled simultaneously cus #it was the only way to get it done and thats ignoring the fact i was supposed to be running out the orders out for table service #but cant cus the fckers had disappeared again and im not technically allowed to leave my till unattended #they both always irritate everyone cus they dont do sht but ive never had to deal with both of them at the same time without any other help #im gonna end up screaming at them at some point i can just tell #one of them was like 'ugh whys everyone in such a bad mood today 🙄' uh? cus its hectic as hell and youre not even helping?? #i literally got warned by multiple staff before i met him that hes fcking useless thats how bad it is

[faraum]

There are certain things i am not equipped to handle and im trying so hard to calm myself but of course the second i start feeling ok again i get another message that i cannot fucking handle and i am tired of having to tell someone i love that i cannot help them rn like i am going to explode if one more person tries to message me tonight

#how to hack the world so that people shut up and give me space #like i know i should be there for them but literally just the bare minimum of what ive been made aware of today is making me spiral #they dont seem to understand that i simply cannot fucking process this information let alone help them with it #and on top of that im ALREADY low on my social meter like i do not need to be put in charge of your well being rn!! #im already having a hard time!!! #i have souch anxiety rn and im like dealing with anger problems #because when i cant process something i just get mad #i feel sick like i just want to sleep man why are you messaging me after ive already said googdnight thats ultimate conversation ender #go to sleep please for the both of us #end rant ok bye #vent #vent post

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

It's chilly, I've got my pumpkin spice candle burning, I feel okay

#it was a difficult day but ny gf is amazing and she helped turn it around #i had a shitty and gross day at work. very frustrating. but then i came home and my gf was there #she did my dishes (theyre the one chore i cant do. like. mentally. i cant do them. its too overwhelming for some reason) #she sat and let me complain #and i was exhausted because its been a series of exhausting days #so she layed with me and cuddled until i was just about asleep. she went to the cafe and got a latte and shared some #and she gave me one of her flannels #it was a shitty day but i got to wake up from a nap holding a flannel that smelled like her #i decided to call off of work tomorrow because i feel sick. understandable as i spent the day cleanig maggots fromthe restaurant i work in #but tbh i think its probably Stress Sickness. yknow when you get so stressed that it wears you down and you dont feel well #yeah i think thats what this is. and i cant deal with another day of work tomorrow #im going to rest. maybe do some laundry. buy the ingredients to make a yummy drink ive been wanting #burn my pumpkin spice candle. maybe go for a walk #rest. relax. try to recover both mentally and physically #im not going to kill myself for this job that doesnt care about me. the job that made me spend my day cleaning up a maggot infestation #sorry i just complained a lot but the point is #as shitty as today was i still have a lot of good things and thats what i have to focus on #focus on my candle. my gf. the weather. yummy drinks #if i sat here and fixated on all of the shitty things i would go insane. but things like my new fluffy space patterned rug #thats what makes life feel better. thats what makes it all okay #im definitely going to have BS consequences for how things went at work today. but for now i have nice weather and a pumpkin spice candle #goodnight all. i wish you all have at least one wonderful thing to focus on today

[taylormademagic]

hate that for me being asked "are you busy?" Or "do you have plans" is such a stress trigger

(obviously not in the friend wants to hang context more like your parent can't just use their fucking words and ask you to do something)

#taylor screams into the abyss #all because my parents cant comprhend thay i want them to just ask me to help them with something #90 percent of the time ive been asked if i have plans by my dad it has been to puck up a shift at his stupid pizza shop #and like since he had his surgery and we are short staffed im working 6 days this week #so today is my day off and 2 hours ago he asks if i have plans for the rest of the night #and its like 9pm and so shrug and i tell him well im not planning on leaving anywhere #and he just has this very specific look on him and goes downstairs #then that leaves me to stress spiral waiting for him to ask me to do something because if he needs something he should just use his words #of course he doesnt and i waste that time until deciding to ask if he meant anything by asking if i had plans and i got 'just curious' #Richard you are never curious about my life so i find that to be a fucking lie #goddamn and now instead of relaxing im just emotional and stressed and could be overthinking it all ans of course my therapy appointment #was just yesterday bahhhhhhhhhhh #if you read this far heres a virtual hug and a wish that you dont deal with this similar bullshit #god i need to move out but i cant!! and thats a whole nother can of worms

[munamania]

. i like her so much

#:(((( #im just really sad rn lolol #like. goddamn #i saw them today... i know they spotted me and after this whole stupid missing wed night and then the other screening yesterday #she just flat out ignored my message and like ya such is her pattern i told myself i wouldnt care but like. is it so heS #hard*lol and i want to sit here and blame it on the bf and him being controlling #but maybe i was just delusional. or maybe she just liked the attention. maybe she really loves him #when she talked abt seeing me again she said hopefully not maybe #im also being torn apart by her looking at me after our last class and saying some shit like 'we were having our own little moment' #and all this other shit and then just that one stupid fucking meeting with him #maybe had i never been so ballsy as to just go up to him this never wouldve happened. i was being a little shit lol #and now idk if hes turned her against me or made me out to be some creep or whatever bullshit #which might only be compounded if shes dealing with some internalized homophobia lol #and i just.. i cant know. i wont know. #and if she did get into some fight with him over me and thats why things were/have been so weird #she clearly chose him. why wouldnt she theyre literally dating. #oh my god im like Pining hard rn. it's so bad guys lol oh god #cause like what if this translates into next year and she just wont talk to me in class #it sucks bc i think. if given time i could maybe get over feelings for her and id still like her in my life #doesnt help to think that far ahead i guess tho like what can i do lol #i just like her so much:(( i like her dumb smile and her laugh and her voice and her dumb little speech patterns #and i like the way she laughs with her whole body and how she kinda looks like a bithc #but is so sweet. and i like hearing about her stupid classes and her new dog and i miss walking around and having her show me #her class buildings. god EW #k im gonna go put on a playlist and be sad until i see my friends later #what a shitty way to end the semester. but i saw my friends the last few days and went to a nice garden today. #and potentially have a rlly good job opportunity #abby talks

[trillionsutensils]

I'll be ready for work and I'll come in and be happy and think "wow, today is gonna be a good day" and then I promptly get slam dunked into the 7th circle of hell (shipping) and then my day is ruined

#my post #like even if I get pulled back to dms my mood is just ruined #I will be bitter the rest of the day #i cant even be happy that we're getting out early today cause im spending all of the time that we are here is shipping #i fucking hate this place #staff your fucking warehouse properly #“we're over staffed” bullshit #I get that we're slow rn but letting employees leave naturally and not hiring anyone new to downsize only works #if they arent all leaving from the same fucking department #shipping has like four employees left and they all pull #none of them anchor #so the other departments constantly have to give up their people to go help shipping #and it's usually dms that sends people #no one else ever fucking does #so we just constantly get screwed #and our supervisor and team lead feel so bad #they hate sending us over there #and when we're in shipping we have to deal with our old team lead who fucking sucks #we all hate that guy

[walkerrenee]

.

#monthly tag rant (: #i work in a middle school and today we were in a meeting about what we're doing for the next unit #and there's a textbook that's part of the (already made) curriculum and it has a bunch of different reading passges and short stories #and whatever #so we were trying to see which ones we can skip over since we don't have time to use them all and there was one that the summary was read #and it was basically about a kid who deals with racism in their neighborhood or something #and the way we were told we had to steer clear because it could be labeled critical race theory... #especially in a school district that has a higher number if minority families #like they literally probably EXPERIENCE this in their own lives as kids?! #actually not probably i KNOW some of them do and the fact we can't read something that could likely be relatable and potentially helpful #(i didnt have a chance to read it so i cant say what exactly it's message/lesson is but) #it's just fucking insane and this is my girst year there so i don't really have a feel for all the teacher's opinions and stuff too #so the dynamic was so off not knowing if their reactions were directed at the absurdness or bc they in some way agree.... #i fucking hate this state and country #we also as 'required' to report if a student discloses they are or may be trans... #like actually'hypothetically' i will NOT be fucking doing that #a surefire way to put a CHILD in danger what the actual fuck is wrong with this shit #DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE FUCKING BOOK BAN/RESTRICTIONS ALSO IN PLACE OH MY FUCKING GOD #like i know this isn't NEW information and my mother has been a teacher for over a decade #but it's disorienting to be directly in front of all this shit being in place #all of this shit is just hurting children and it's fucking ridiculous how no one actually values kids and human beings #as*** human beings #never have and looks like they never will #you don't care about protecting children you care about controlling them and making yourself comfortable in your ignorance!!! #rant over gonna go scream into my pillo #pj talks #about

[mag171]

god i remember like two years ago when id vent here every time something went wrong LOL. not now sweetheart we keep that shit under close wraps and never let loose

#srryyyyyyy had a bit of a shit time with family today. #my mother decided itd be funny to leave both doors open and nearly let moss walk out #i nearly told her to her face that if i ever have to track her down im packing a bag and never coming back #but i didnt say i think i deserve an award for that #her boyfriend and her have been bitching about how me and my sisters are all lazy fat fucks which. im fat but i bust my ass helping them #they used me as the example. 'why dont you all get on weight loss meds. youd be happier' #'******* is already dropping weight. follow his example.' look i can deal with folks bitching at me for being fat #even with all of the bitching i do towards myself #and i may fight with my sisters but you cant fucking speak to them that way. told em so and im out in the woods for the night #its fine its fine theres a caseys down the road ill hang at till i sneak through the window #we ball

[mrfoox]

God im... Probably too nice but it's fine

#miranda talking shit #I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up #I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them #And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats #A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at #Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants #Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear #What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in... #He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things #I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao #That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss #Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun? #But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭 #Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv #Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and #White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol #Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own' #Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously #Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me... #And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i #Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that... #I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :') #If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he #Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when #He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it #And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively #To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental #Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just #Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love #Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did

[freesomebodybyluna]

...

#today has been such an awful day.... #i paid almost $400 for my eye exam today & they switched my contact brand bc they no longer use the one im used to #so i have to try them out for a week before i can call to purchase them when i wouldve liked to have paid in that moment #so itd hurt less...... #and ive had a fever since my appt #my back hurts a shit ton & so does my head #my legs hurt too & its super hot but ive been getting chills #and my mom has been on my case all afternoon as well which didnt help w my headache #and there are just so many problems that i have to deal w w her to the point where even my sister is beyond done w her but cant #say anything for fear that she wont get to see our bro anymore & theres really no pt in arguing w her bc of how clueless she is to her own #manipulation....im so tired & i haven't gotten an internship yet or learned how to drive #everything just feels so hopeless #dl #also i couldnt tell if my contacts were making my head hurt as well or if it was just my growing headache as a result of my fever.... #they fit nicely though & my new optometrist made me feel very comfortable hes very kind #he was kinda trying to convince me to get the weekly contacts vs the monthly ones but i was like buddy....i wanna get out of here 😭🔫