#i dont think all of their dynamics are even able to be fully addressed and unpacked alongside the actual plot

[mihotose]

god theres just so fucking much going on between these seven swords specifically. like i just remembered hachisuka and manba are a genuine and a fake copy on top of everything else

#like these seven need a diagram to sort them out #i dont think all of their dynamics are even able to be fully addressed and unpacked alongside the actual plot #but can you imagine the attempt #kashuu the one who tries to keep himself pretty vs manba who tries to hide his face. and so on #(suishinshi too as it happens) #gemitus

[raionmimi]

Someone once told me that they loathe Medb because she objectifies people, and I can't help but agree. From her creation of Cu Alter to her relationship with Skadi, and then something Fergus mentioned twice, once in the manga and once in Summer 4. But, rather than seeing this in a negative light, as the person who mentioned this, I couldn't help but find this an interesting fault because the story, for the most part, treats this as neither fully bad or completely good Because viewing it through this lens makes Skadi and her relationship uniquely realistic because, while Medb is doing it for completely warped and selfish motives, it also highlights the fact that Skadi needs a self-severing person in her life to get over her troubles and eluvates her in such a intersting manner. Or, in another situation, how she basically earns Cu alter's respect via sheer tenacity through that viewpoint but also caused the american singularity. I had these thoughts swriling around my head the past few days I couldn't help but to wonder what the biggest Medb fan would think about this.

A lot of people, including your friend, view America as a "I have you now, my pretty" scenarios from what I've seen. America plays it up that Medb "gets to have" Cu as an object of affection. Higashide specifically wanted the player to think that, so it comes off as a surprise in the reveal when Alter admits that he's fighting for Medb's wish on his own free will the whole entire time.

(TL;DR: at the bottom before the cut)

When you go back, you realize that there is a lot of foreshadowing that this was the case the whole time. Namely that Cu Alter has so much autonomy and free will for someone who is supposedly "under control." Medb never gets mad at him when he disagrees with her, and the fact that he would debate with her at all is extremely telling when she's usually pretty pushy as a person when it comes to what she thinks is the correct line of action

Both Medb and Cu have their own ideas of what it means to be a king and a hero. For Cu, we know that he doesn't care for honors and titles, but Medb had to work her ass off to get a title for her own safety and to be taken seriously by others. Cu (probably) thought he was well meaning for telling Medb that he didn't want to hurt or kill her because she was a woman, but to her, it was insulting that he wouldn't view her as a warrior when she had gone through a fuckton to get to where she was. He accepted that he was going to die in a blaze of glory, while she can't understand how he can just go throw his life away without ever properly taking her on when everyone thinks of her as the villain of his story.

So there's an obvious disconnect between the two. The fact that they DO talk about this, change each other's minds, and disagree is where the development lays. By the end of the singularity, Alter is able to recognize Medb's efforts as a queen, which was the main validation she wanted from him. Medb also arguably understands that Cu isn't how she thought he’d be that if you notice, anytime they're together, she no longer brings up how she thinks he should act. She just thinks what he does is really cool instead, so they’ve basically gotten the chance to get to know each other better and come to some sort of understanding

The only problem is that Higashide never actually addresses the issue on Cu's end. Personally, I don't really mind tooo too much because Medb's emotions is what I care more so about in the dynamic, but it still leaves a very huge "What even are his thoughts about this?" And I dont mean Alter, I mean the original Cu. It's very clear by the stark difference in how Medb talks to Alter and Cu that she thinks Cu is much colder to her than he actually is. But she also was able to talk to Alter more genuinely because with his emotions suppressed, it was like talking to someone who would never actually respond in a way that would be too overwhelming where she'd have to be on guard. But that's only a stepping stone to the actual problem.

Cu cares a great deal about Medb as a person because if he wasn't aware of her circumstances when they were alive, he does now that they're servants. He mentioned her in HA before she was even in FGO and says that a ton of bad things happened to her and she's a product of what happened to her. But he still doesn't do anything about it in a way that's actually helpful. He treats Medb like someone he feels like he has to take care of, even if she's troublesome, instead of acknowledging his own flaws that got him into the situation with her in the first place.

He still has chivalrous view of women that can be seen as patronizing like telling Medusa in Extella that he doesnt want to fight or kill women when Medusa had the clear advantage. He chooses Nero over Tamamo because Tamamo reminded him too much of Medb. He talks about how he wants to be more reliable to Medb in his voiceline, even to the point of making a promise to her that we still have NO idea what it could possibly have been about. He avoids Medb when she's up to mischief, yet when she asks for help he is immediately willing to do whatever. Even to the point that Knocknarea in LB6 is confused as to why he's so eager and willing to help her.

Cu's thoughts are a huge piece of the puzzle missing that if you don't pay attention to how he handles Medb, it comes off as one sided when it's more like two people avoiding communicating the root of a problem.

I highly doubt that his side would ever occur as the closest there has come to being critical of Cu's actions is the consequences of his thing with Fand and Emer in the Vday events with Caren and Bazett. Do agree that sometimes, other writers will just use Medb's love for him as a gag to idk fill up the spaces or something. It can be funny but if that's all she does, then ya I get the criticisms esp when their actual convos are way funnier. I have more thoughts on them, but I've already wrote so much lmao

Very cool and poggers of the manga to have Cu Alter kneeling down and accepting a kiss from her tho

TL;DR: Medb and Cu have lore to build off of + that there are flaws to be addressed. Makes the subtle growth very cool and leeway for further Medb development and complexities.

---

Putting the rest under the cut because I'm critical of the way Sakurai writes Medb and Skadi. Read if u want, but know that I'm kind of a hater so I'd rather you look at something you like instead.

Sakurai's writing with Skadi doesn't have the benefit of lore to easily play around with though. TL;DR at the bottom.

The problem is that the writers never really fleshed out Scathach that much, nor did they have the latter interact much with Medb. The whole premise of this dynamic is that Medb thinks Skadi is Scathach and she's surprised that "Scathach is acting different than she usually does" and keeps trying to get Skadi to act "like she usually does"

But Medb doesn't even really know Scathach, they hardly talked. Like ever. There's like 5 lines of dialogue from between 2018 to now between the two across the American singularity to events and voice lines. Most of the time, they don't even directly talk to each other. Unlike her thing with Alter, Medb has never come to an understanding with Scathach, nor does she really have any reason to care about her

The writing has to rely on existing character dynamics that... was hardly there to begin with makes it crumble that much faster to me personally. It'd make more sense if they had actually written a LOT of interaction with each other to the point of them influencing each other's characters, whether in a positive or negative way. But as it stands, it'd make more sense for Medb to react to the gap difference between Ushi and Taira than Scathach and Skadi because the writers chose to give more depth to Ushi and Medb as frenemies.

I was never a fan of Medb Skadi writing because it comes off as a cheap way to introduce Skadi into the Chaldea dynamics. It's nothing like Ushi or Ex and Medb, Knocknarea and Castoria's level of development, where it'd make sense. Not to mention, nothing about Skadi is remotely what Medb is interested in. If it had been the other way around, where Skadi was introduced first and then Scathach showed up, it'd make a bit more sense given who Medb usually hangs out with or talks to

Sakurai mainly utilizes Medb as a mouthpiece of how cute and uwu Skadi is rather than having any meaningful development between the two across multiple events. It just gets weird and sometimes even creepy at times, esp when you remember Higashide's Medb had never been sexual towards Alter. But Sakurai's Medb sexually harasses Skadi when Medb herself is a SA victim?? And she writes Medb as calling herself tainted in a diff event????? Even Minase treated Medb better in the Prisma Illya event. Like, I don't hate Sakurai, but she can be very hit or miss with me on certain things.

You can compare Skadi to almost any other character that Medb has interacted with, and it's severely lacking. Neither one's lore is really addressed until Skadi's interlude and even then, Medb doesn't really have much to do with it, she's just "I will lend you a Cu (caster) because I'm already holding two Cu's hands right now"

I don't mind if people like Skadi, but I just don't think Sakurai handles Medb and Skadi well together. It comes off as either shoe horned yuri bait at worst, and not knowing where to put Skadi since she didn't have much connection to any character in her LB at best that she just slapped her onto Medb for the vague Scathach connection. There is no lessons learned, no real understanding of each other, and it's just Medb doing what she wants. There's no balance or substance that I personally like

I admit that I have not read her summer event parts to know how she develops with other characters though. I'm still very :// about the transphobia with her changing Caeneus's spirit origin without his consent because she "wanted Caeneus to fit in with the other girls" which doesn't help much when she calls Caeneus tainted because of their SA in the lostbelt.

I just don't really care much for the character or the writing between her and medb, so that's why you'll hardly ever see me talk about her.

Apologies because I know you went in talking positively, but I agree with your friend on this one. It does come heavily across as objectification and one of those ships you'd meme on as "gay ship for straight ppl (with a male audience in mind specifically)" and is not treated well, so I personally ignore it.

TL;DR: I dont like Skadi writing or Medb/Skadi writing. I do not mind if other do tho, so like its just do ya own thing, yfeel?

Anyways, ship Castoria x Knocknarea

#magical college girl #critical #LONG post #VERY LONG POST #Im so sorry anon #Tumblr deleted a bunch of my paragraphs when I posted this oops is there a word limit

[thekrows-nest]

(HI HI HI I HAVE MORE DOVE LORE- My phone died before I could finish and boy oh boy do I got some lore for you💀)

They have trust issues due to a old partner they used to work with

Their first big case was helping their old partner find her missing brother...

They keep a gun on them at all times just in case IT happens again..(welcome to MERICA)

They enjoy psychoanalyzing people, sometimes just for the hell of it. This is one of the parts of the "unique" personality traits I was talking about.

Their actually one of the lead detectives because of how good they are! They can assign some of the detectives below them the more "normal" cases. (Affairs and stuff like that)

They learnt how to hack in middle school because of dem damn restrictions on websites and it lead to them being able to hack into peoples accounts and possibly IP addresses... (But their not like [REDACTED] and won't hack into somebody's webcam)

One of their favorite past times is watching true crime and reading conspiracy theories, even at night! Just please dont pay attention to the way they might hold on to Krow tighter than usual when it comes to going to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I hope Krow has alot of patience because this mf will fight him tooth and nail to stay up. They can stay up all night for like 3 days straight and be okay so you better beware :). [They have ADHD so they take Adderall so the only things keeping me them awake throughout the day is Adderall and spite.]

They have a notebook full of notes on people they meet, this includes people they interrogate, other detectives they interact with sometimes and even a certain person they meet at a crime scene...

They have a INTP-T personality type.

Despite all of this Gabriel actually has more going on under the surface...

They hate being around people unless its somebody they really enjoy being around but even then its limited to maybe only 30 mins at a time. They really enjoy being alone some could even say it's the only time their fully relaxed. [There's a reason for this to :)]

I would put more about how they first met and how they look but this has already gotten hella long- sry bout that

(Sorry I didn't respond to this until now. No this wasn't eaten just had to get to it. (: )

I find this super cool and definitely think Gabriel and Krow would have a very curious and interesting dynamic.

Especially once some very odd murders stop cropping up. (:

#winndy talks #dove aviary #dove gabriel #the krow's nest

[mingjue]

also momiji :]

I love momiji so genuinely much no one understands me

My opinions here are going to be a bit more open ended since we dont have sp momiji in global yet, but overall momiji has been one of my favorites since the beginning esp with her dynamic over shuten and ibaraki. And i say Over instead of With for a reason, bc i think she cldve had legitimate power if she wanted to LOL

From what i DO know of sp momiji, her bg is honestly Very similar to what i personally had for her? The only exception is that i never made her have a fiance, just that her dad was a genuine asshole and abusive. So apollo slammed me with the dodgeball on that, BUT another key thing that sp momiji doesn't do is fucking murk the entire family + fiance? I think she shouldve killed everyone & i think this is where my opinion on her gets "controversial" to some

I do want her to love herself! I want her to fully accept who she is and Love who she is, but she is still a being of spite. I want her to genuinely injure one of the seimeis. I want her to curse orochi-- and should that mf try anything again, this could lead to her temporarily siding with seimei. But i also just want her to kill jst bc she can. Idc. Literally every single woman in onmyoji that kills kills for some form of love. And ARGUABLY i would say this is still killing out of love, but love for herself, not for a man or as a mother or even as a sibling. For Herself. My god

I also kind of wish her relationship with shuten was more sinister? In my rewrite for mt oe a Lot of her relationship built with amnesia era shuten is over their bonding in hunting/eating humans & its messy. It becomes an unhealthy obsession on both sides that builds up and spills over the more desperate shuten gets for her, and she only takes advantage of it in order to get to seimei, and even holds it over ibaraki as shuten listens to what she tells him to do. I think shuten would be the first man To listen, but its still out of sexual desire that momiji is well aware of. She strings him along until she gets sick of him, and until seimei gets sick of Her.

It couldve brought in SO many interesting things to the plot-- demons on mt oe worshipping Her as the new demon king, seeing how "easily" she was able to bend shuten to her will, the noble family she's from hailing on seimei and trying to rebel against the Minamotos seeing as he used to be apart of the clan, on top of trying to exterminate Mt Oe once again upon finding out shuten is latched onto her. Like she couldve had So much power built up over people ans be a genuine antagonist to Seimei if she was given time to develop further, ESPECIALLYYYYY over mt oe

And the fact that Shuten isnt even addressed in sp momiji event as far as i know . . . . Like in canon i want him to at least compensate her for emotional distress. LMFAO. But of all times they actually wldve had a reason to give shuten screen time they just didnt and it makes me so mad 😭😭 mf will pop up in other parts of the world to stick his nose in but wont come apologize to the woman he harassed for god knows how long.

Ok anyways im her wife.

#Asks #Siaech #Onmyoji #*i am gripping her like a squeaky toy*

[foolgobi65]

i really wish the writers of lucifer hadn't turned chloe and maze's friendship into such an afterthought! like ok:

- when they start in season 2, both of them are in pretty isolated places socially. chloe, already a pretty introverted workaholic, is just newly divorced and has exactly one (1) friend: lucifer. maze has finally split off from lucifer and has two (2) friends: linda and trixie, but for the purposes of this comparison linda really is maze's one friend. maze has just accepted that she's not actually going back to hell, that this time on earth isn't really just a lunch break before they go back to the real world (hell) and so she now has to figure out how to build a real life in LA.

- basically, both maze and chloe are kind of in similar positions in terms of being isolated and really only having a singular overwhelming relationship with someone as opposed to having a network they can rely on so that all their eggs aren't in one basket. you can see where this backfires on both of them throughout the series when linda spends the week not talking to maze after seeing lucifer's face, and when lucifer runs off to vegas and suddenly chloe is stuck with all these feelings she can't express (and crucially can't talk about to him, her best friend.) ofc lucifer and maze's relationship transcends friendship just based on their immense history and is its own weird thing that i also kind of wish they had given more thought to, but w/e.

- enter: maze and chloe's friendship! i think for both maze and chloe, the other person is as "far" as you could get from themselves, but is fascinatingly still someone they can like, respect, love, and be loyal to. for a good while (and this is something i REALLY wish they had maintained) chloe, maze, and dan are basically raising trixie together which takes so much respect and trust that the other person is someone you want having a hand in influencing a kid you love! i think what's interesting is that, unlike lucifer who is trying to answer existential questions about his place/purpose in the universe, maze is really just focused on the people she cares about and having a good time (which is rooted in her doing meaningful work as a bounty hunter.) chloe is someone who pursues duty to the point of self-sacrifice, and obviously her friendship with lucifer helps her loosen up, but the pedestal he places her on/reverence he sometimes feels for her prevents him from really popping that bubble in the same way maze does. also chloe and lucifer's relationship gets SO much more complicated around the time maze enter's chloe's life so the role that lucifer once had to shock chloe out of her comfort zone kind of goes to maze once chloe has to draw some personal boundaries with lucifer.

- i think the key to maze and chloe's friendship is that they're both people who desperately need someone who embodies the other person's best trait. while this tendency isn't always healthy, maze is fundamentally someone very loyal to those she believes deserves it. obviously she's also betrayed people a billion times but at her core she's deeply committed to those she cares about which is something that i can see chloe find really appealing. at this point chloe has spent so much of her life in this weirdly precarious position where, since her dad's death she hasn't been able to fully trust anyone or open up to them. obviously she loves dan, but its clear that even when they're still "good" he doesn't trust her instincts or potential like he should, and when he spent those months gaslighting her the issue for her even beyond the fact that he shot malcom would have been that he didnt support or trust his wife. the appeal of lucifer is that from the beginning he identifies that she's smart and moral with good instincts. he trusts her, and strangely over the season she begins to trust him too! and then he runs off to vegas, etc etc lol. maze's primary loyalty probably isn't to chloe, but we see that to the best of her capacity she wants chloe to be happy -- she gets the prison warden killed, she "tries" and then really does listen to chloe venting about lucifer, attends the parent night chloe was stressed about, sets aside her grudge with lucifer to find chloe.

- in turn, chloe's best trait is her ability to accept people as they are and see their potential. of course she doesnt really have that many friends, but the people she is attracted to are all works in progress (dan is obvious, as are lucifer and maze lmao, but there's also ella who confesses something very personal and scary to chloe and gets a hug in return, and even charlotte who chloe's had clashes with both as charlotte and Mom for years but still gets the benefit of the doubt.) maze does have to change when she comes to live with chloe and trixie, but we see trixie grow up heavily influenced by maze in ways that makes it clear that chloe must genuinely like maze, or those influences like the handshake and the passion for gore and the knife training wouldnt have been allowed. we know that the reason maze is so loyal to lucifer is that he was the first person to ever accept her for who she was unconditionally, without shame or judgment. we see that for lucifer chloe is that person, especially because she sees his potential for growth just as she sees maze's. because she doesnt have preconcieved notions of what they're supposed to be she only sees them as people going through a difficult period of growth and supports them as best she can: reminding maze that they're friends, worrying about her in canada, trusting her with trixie who is the most important person in chloe's life.

- of course, chloe and maze have lucifer and linda but narratively lucifer and linda become so much MORE for chloe and maze. the show sunk linda/maze lmao but linda's clearly the adult maze cares most about just as lucifer is chloe's. and for both in s3 this person they each place so much of themselves into suddenly hurts them and they both spiral. i think there was real potential for chloe and maze to become each other's support and develop into a really steady, enduring friendship in contrast to the chaos of their individual romances (you will NEVER convince me that triangle was about amenadiel rather than linda lmao.) even post s3, they don't really address that maze really hurt chloe by pushing her towards pierce, and that chloe hurt maze by lying to her. i really think there could have been a lot of growth from maze going back to living with chloe and trixie after making full ammends and chloe realizing that actually, yes she can deal with this and it isn't that scary and then the tragedy of her maybe missing her shot with lucifer becomes more stark. we see chloe and maze teaming up in the first episode of 5A but then they blow that up too! i get that chloe needs space and its clear they're both using the other as placeholders for the people they really want, but there's no reason that they couldnt have come back together later and re-established their friendship on screen. obv they wouldnt work together after lucifer comes back, but to me this is where i believe they should go back to living together. without that, maze's connection to trixie in terms of what they can show on screen becomes tenuous and chloe's home life just becomes less interesting/worthwhile to see bc it'd just be her or maybe her with trixie. without that, it feels like we just see a lot of chloe either at work or in relation to lucifer (bc thats the best bang for your buck in terms of interaction!) we do get to see maze with linda, which is nice, but idk just feels like a step back from early s3 when maze felt more embedded in a community of people who liked, accepted, and cared about her wellbeing.

- i think one of the issues is that chloe and maze's friendship might have seemed like a knock off of their "main" relationships with lucifer and linda bc they have similar dynamics with them, but idk! there's a sense of fun that we get from their friendship that we dont really see from the main pairings because those are so serious and passionate and the main mechanisms by which the 4 grow so there isn't as much room for the lighter stuff. i know i said that chloe sees the potential for growth but she's not really pushing maze to talk about her feelings. she's doing the dishes maze won't, smiling at maze and trixie's handshake, shrugging off the fact that maze is throwing knives at their rented walls. maze and chloe create space for each other to be seen as themselves, good or bad, in ways that linda and lucifer can't for whatever reason. they don't really push each other, just let the other person be. it wouldnt be the ideal dynamic if they were the only person in each other's lives, but i think its vital to have someone in your life who can, in chloe's case, gently push you outside of your comfort zone and in maze's case offer acceptance, friendship, and trust.

idk this is just going in circles as i repeat the same points over and over and over but i really wish they had put more thought into sustaining the maze and chloe friendship throughout s4 and s5 because it would have brought out notes in both of them narratively that i think are lost otherwise. also its just sad for trixie that someone who was basically part of her family who she was living with is just...not there anymore and that's never addressed. : (

#lucifer #maze #chloe decker #lol im just writing this here to avoid doing school work rip #back to pretending to do a reading!!!

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #yeah

[nyctophilin]

A little rant

Hi! So, I have seen this post, and I told myself “This shit can’t be real!” so I decided to exit the page and enter it again and the post was still there. So I did it again and again and again and the post was still there. So this shit is real! Okay. :D

The op said that people got her hot and you know what? She got me hot too, so let’s talk about this. There were so many...things going on in that post and honestly, I am still trying to convince myself that it’s real. Fortunately, op broke it down in three sections so it will be easier for me to address that hot mess.

Warning: I have mentioned some triggering things in here like r@pe, abuse in BDSM relationships, sexualisation, spreading of personal information. Please proceed with caution.

Let’s start with section A, shall we? This whole section is about people being uncomfortable with other people writing smut. OP starts this section by saying “something people need to realize is not everyone is a soft stan or minor.” and they are right. However, there is a difference between being a hard stan and straight-up sexualising someone. 

There is nothing wrong with writing smut, but how you behave outside of that smut fic is what defines you. Some of the writers they are defending just straight up sexualise the boys. There is no creativity there. Being turned on by Hyunjin talking to his dog and sexualising something that Chan said as a response to a mean comment is another level of disgusting that some people have reached. There is no hard stan behaviour in all that, there is just disgusting people behaviour. The fact that they are “adults” does not excuse it.

Another thing they said in the A section was “as writers they can do what they would like to when it comes to their content.” and they are right here too. Is not like we can stop them from continuing to post whatever the fuck they want. However, that doesn’t mean that what they post is right and people shouldn’t be upset about it. Lolita mangas is a thing people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. Writing fanfiction about real-life terrorists is a thing that people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. So when someone comes for your favourite smut writer with other arguments besides “I don’t like it.” and points out problematic things with the fic then you have no right telling people to “just dont read their content.”. There are writers that write r@pe fanfiction, abusive BDSM dynamics, sexualising little space, romanticizing mental illness and many more and people have all the rights to be upset about this and call them out. So even if it “makes absolutely no sense” I will “take time out of my day to question a writer’s content” not because I don’t like it, but because it’s wrong. Believe it or not, some things are just wrong, whether people like them or not.

Moving on to section B and this is the one that upset me the most. This section is about how some people are uncomfortable with the age gap between idols and writers that are adults. To sum it up for you because I am not about to quote the whole shit, OP is basically telling us that as long as both the idol and the writer are adults then the age difference shouldn’t matter.

First of all, let’s not talk about how hellbent has been used totally wrong in this context and it took me a moment to realise what they meant, but yes, some people are really fixated on the age difference between idols and writers. You can’t come at me with the bullshit that “it shouldn't matter if everyone in question is an adult.” because you are saying that an almost 30 years old having sexual fantasies about a 19 years old is okay. It’s not. The 19 years old is fresh off of high school and the 30 years old has been working for 6 years. If you wouldn’t be okay with it happening in real life then you shouldn’t be okay with it happening to an idol. 

Some smut writers don’t even write for Jeonging because they say that it’s uncomfortable having this big age difference between them and that they can’t see themselves having sexual fantasies about a senior in high school/freshman in college. If they feel like that and understand the concern people have regarding this matter then so can the other writers in a similar situation. There is no excuse here. If you are a 28 years old thinking sexually about an 18/19 years old(because this is what you need to do in order to be able to write smut) then that is just disgusting. Period.

Second of all, I won’t even talk about the “mathematical representation” part. That whole bit it’s just pure garbage. Just take the whole part and throw it away. This is not a situation that you should represent using math. We are talking about real-life people here, not numbers. What if you were 19 and had a 30 years old write their sexual fantasies about you? Would you feel comfortable with that? Of course, the boys know that the fans have sexual fantasies about them. They are not stupid. However, and this is just my opinion, I don’t think that the first people that come into Jeongin’s mind when he thinks about that, are people approaching or being in their 30s.

Now, part C and this one is a handful. This was supposed to be about minors being upset that adults gatekeep smut but I don’t know if it really respects the theme. It starts with the question “if youre a minor and you get upset over adults writing smut then truly what are you doing??” and this is exactly what they are doing. They are getting upset that adults write smut. It says it right there, in the question. Honestly, this has nothing to do with the “gatekeeping smut” part. If you wanted it to be about that, then it should have been structured in a whole other way.

But anyway, they continue to say how minors interacting with NSFW is wrong and they shouldn’t do it and I fully agree and I have stated this before. They should not partake in this kind of activities because it was not meant for them, but I have never seen anyone say anything about “gatekeeping” smut. Minors are upset at the hypocrisy. And believe it or not, minors writing erotica is not illegal. It’s very much legal. Is it morally correct? Absolutely not and it’s best if they don’t go down that path because it will only harm them. But can you do anything to stop them? No. The only thing you can do is ask them to stop writing it and if they refuse is best to block them. But again, I don’t support minors doing that and I hope they don’t.

Also, don’t even dare tell me about adults that have minors dni or 18+ in their bio. I know for a fact that 80% of those people go and interact with minors themselves. How come you say don’t interact and then you are the one to interact? And on your NSFW blog? At least make a SFW one. None of those people actually care about keeping minors “safe”, although it is a nice impression that you have about them. With the spreading of personal information, keeping minors that write smut secret and telling possible minors to not reveal their age so they can keep interacting with NSFW content, none of those people actually care about minors. They only care about their asses. But again, it is a nice impression you have of them.

Then they go on and say “some minors think theyre mature enough to handle that shit.... NO NO YOU ARE NOT” as if turning 18 magically makes you mature enough. It doesn’t. You still have the 17 years old mentality you had the day before your birthday. I am not saying that minors are mature enough to do that, but again, is anyone mature enough for the r@pe fics and unhealthy BDSM dynamics?

And because OP screamed in that next part, so will I. HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO “GO READ SOME FLUFF OR ANGST” WHEN THE TAGS ARE FULL OF DAMN SMUT? FIRST HAVE SMUT WRITERS STOP TAGGING THEIR SMUT FICS IN THE FLUFF AND ANGST TAG AND THEN THEY WILL GO AND DO THAT TOO.

And this wasn’t planned, but we also have a bonus part. This is so exciting! They say “STOP TREATING STRAY KIDS + EVERY OTHER DAMN KPOP GROUP LIKE BABIES!” and I have been saying this for ages. And you know what I am about to say. However, doing any of the things mentioned in this post cannot be called infantilizing. Wishing that people wouldn’t sexualize or write problematic fiction about them is not babying. Getting uncomfortable when someone 10 years older than an idol has sexual fantasies about them is not babying. Stop acting as if people wishing that other people would stop pursuing disgusting behaviours is wrong.

And please “these grown men”. I almost laughed. The only man that can be called grown there is maybe Chan, but people from Hyunjin to Jeongin are definitely not grown. They are in the process of growing and becoming grown, but they aren’t grown. Of course, people are aware that they know about sex, but they shouldn’t have to deal with having r@pe fics written about them or having people much older thirst about them. And if you don’t agree with that, oh well, that’s sad.

#stray kids #stray kids smut #skz smut #jesus the anger that post caussed me #i am not even joking #and maybe it was stupid of me to get so worked up over this thing #but it was such a superficial view on the whole thing #and it made it look like some people have exaggerated emotions when they don't #not everything is black and white -____- #also if you have any opinions on this post #tell them nicely and off anon #if you send anonymous hate chances are it will be deleted #or not taken seriously when answered #pearl talks

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

002 for gercanmano please?

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

GerCanMano

when I started shipping it.

Maybe a year to two years ago? It’s hard to say I can’t really remember. I don’t know what sparked it, but either way I know it started with my friend Lemon. Either we were doing things with the BFT and I had made a joke about baby BFT with Romano, Germany and Canada and it just developed discussions from there. Or it was me struggling between the three proponent ships and Lemon being like ‘why don’t you just make them a poly’ and like sun coming out from behind the clouds it finally dawned on me by the power of citrus. Either way it was something I kept messing with, and the more I talked about it the more people hopped on board with me. We’re still just a raft in a sea of ships but I made this baby and I’m proud of it.

I will say I have had a lot of people talk to me like I made it, and while I do want to take some credit cause I put a lot of time into them, I have heard it used to be a ship back in the old hetalia days. But I haven’t found any old fanworks of it. And trust me I scoured every fic and art site I could think of. Maybe it was something only seen in RP groups so it never got published fic or art but I crave content for it so if it was originally a thing and there’s content around let me know please I don’t wanna take credit for it fully but I have not found another person who shipped it before they talked to me.

my thoughts:

Literally some of the only serotonin I get in these trying times. I love them so much they make me so happy. An unbelievably strong power house trio who could do damn near about anything together. They have it all.

I could go on for hours about small scenarios or aus with them. Like I’m a multi-shipper but fuck man they’re my OTP. I can and do ship other things with them, but man they make me melt with joy.

I made a playlist for it, I’m still building it but I like ti so far. I wish I could find more three person love songs but for now I have songs for each of the three lads, and the three ships that make up it, so it works! Might change some of them but I like what I have so far!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC4nWN-9zrnEOeLgihkaqQOpPO6nEnc81

Germany and Romano: A Lovely Night and If I Could Tell Her

Romano and Canada: Best Worst Mistake

Canada and Germany: Guy That I’d Kind of Be Into

Germany General: When He Sees Me and Little Miss Perfect (President Perfect)

Romano General: I Won’t Say I’m in Love (so original I know)

Canada General: Would You Be So Kind? and Piece of Art

What makes me happy about them:

Literally everything. Their characters, the dynamics, the growth they create together. They may not work in every story of mine but when they work they really work. They push each member of the ship to grow as a person. Germany finding support he may not have originally had, Canada finding the confidence and support in a group that won’t forget him, Romano finally feeling safe enough to open up to others in a way he didn’t feel safe doing before. It’s just the good fucking food. You can put it in different settings and it just works, they’re able to play off one another in a really great way and pull them out of their comfort zones in ways that other ships don’t hit me as hard with.

What makes me sad about them:

That I am literally one of the only people who makes content for it. I have scoured the internet I can’t find anything, ANYTHING. And often I cannot get people to follow me on it, I’ve been getting more people on board slowly but surely but STILL-- That or they really try to push the whole ‘i ship it with (ship thats similar but with one of the brothers swapped out for the other)’ on me when I’m talking about it and I’m just like. I asked for GerCanMano I didn’t ask for your opinion. I’ve thought about the other ship conbo’s with their other brothers, I just like this one the best.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

When this ship is treated as a lesser to other ships around the three characters. People going like well I think it would be better if it was ‘swaps one of the brothers out for the other’ but that’s not the point. Also this is a general problem I have with Germano/GerCan as well but people making it all about their family’s or brothers reactions and how it effects their brothers instead of their relationship. ESPECIALLY between Romano and Italy.

It’s almost always a cheating on their ‘true love’ or some sort of affair fic and it doesn’t focus on their love and living together and more about them bouncing around to avoid getting caught and I just don’t care enough. I just want to see them in a loving happy relationship, and interacting with one another. Prussia, America’s and ESPECIALLY Italy’s reactions don’t matter to me. When it comes to say GerIta fics, there are a few that address Romano’s feelings toward Italy’s relationship, but not all of them. Hell some of them don’t have a mention or hair of Romano, but when the position is reversed with Germano suddenly even if he’s not in the fic it’s all about how Italy feels about it or how it effects him or hiding it from him.

I dont want to watch Germany go back and forth about which Italy brother he likes while dating both. It’s one just not in character and two its uncomfortable. I read this fic for the gercanmano Im not here to hear that Germany’s cheating on and warring with his feelings toward Italy or Canada sleeping around behind Prussia’s back. It’s boring and I’m tired of reading it. I’m digging into specifics of the three component ships cause there are no fanfics of GerCanMano so I can’t talk about what annoys in their base fics.

I had like one person write GerCanMano into their RusPrus fic, which was cool. but then they were a nazi apologist. So I can’t exactly read it anymore. I have nothing else to compare to but the base three ships of Germano, GerCan and Canmano

Things I look for in fanfic I don’t ask much I just want them to exist without me having to write all of them. I wanna find content other people have made, not that I’m lazy and think peopel should make content for me, just that I get bored of reading my own writing. If I wanna be really picky, letting it be a quickly established relationship and getting to see them in the relationship, learning about each other living together dealing with problems together that doesn’t just have them break up after one fight.

Having them in a functioning relationship before the story is over. Letting that relationship blossom past the start or the first date before the fic is finished. It’s sad when a romance story ends with them getting together cause there’s so much more relationship to have-- ;^; what about cooking together and cuddles on the couch and date nights and small fights and family gatherings--

My happily ever after for them:

It’s hard to write a happily ever after for nations or for anything to be honest cause life keeps going, growing, changing etc. But I’d love them to have a wedding and just a calm, slice of life kind of life together. A nice house, a big garden, a pond in the back where in the winter Germany and Canada can ice skate. A nice big garage where Germany and Romano can work on cars, Maybe near the woods so they can all go hiking,

Nothing fancy. A nice place that smells like warm coffee in the morning, that’s lively with sound of loved ones and shenanigans during the day and quiet whispers of affection at night. They get together but meetings are less boring, they have plans with their family and friends. Spain, France and Prussia loving to tease their little siblings/kids about things and make sure they’re doing okay. Veneziano always trying to help Romano come up with romantic shenanigans to use against his husbands. America just being happy his bro is happy.

Just soft wholesome life stuff. ;;

My kinks:

These are going below for discussions of not safe for work topics. I’m not going light so dive below at your own risk. (sex discussion, kink discussion, general ns//fw content)

I exclusively write top Canada. Like, I just do. I don’t really draw or write him taking it, I don’t know why I just don’t. Doesn’t mean he isn’t put under someone’s thumb in bed, but they’re still riding. There are very very few instances where I have written him taking. Again I don’t know why. Maybe it’s just the concept of soft pastel uwu boy slamming Germany into a wall, maybe it’s the thought of Canada in heels and leather just with the vibe of ‘go ahead tell them. no one will believe you’.

Canada isn’t any kinkier than Germany, but he’s more confident than Germany about it.  He’s got a little bit of jealous neediness in the back of his brain so when it comes to sex he loves when his partner’s attention is on him. He loves to spoil and get spoiled and is the roughest of the three. Just a tiny, tiny bit of masochism/sadism. Very small. It’s very much he’ll do it (with safe words set in place and everything) but he will feel eh about it afterward and make sure that they don’t take away that he hates them or anything. In the inverse hes very very good at fluffing people up and body worship, as well as demeaning talk. Loves role-playing, hence slipping into the mind where he’s got the confidence to throw Germany around the bedroom. He loves especially tying them up and just watching them writhe-

Germany is a switch, fight me on it. If you think that man who has very little canon confidence with romance and no experience is a 100% big daddy top you’re just wrong I’m not sorry. Mind you, he can top and he often does, but being rough and demanding and forceful is not something he’s good at he’s so nervous about injuring his partner, even if they tell him it’s fine.

Germany is into all the rough play, like it’s canon. He loves to tie and be tied up and he likes when power is taken away from him. He likes when people push him under their thumb it’s why Canada gets to be rough with him. But at the same time, Germany is the most wholesome lover out of the three. Because it can be so hard to coax him out of his shell with his kinks, he can often be the inverse. Very gentle, very praising. Absolutely loves to body worship his partners. He’s not really all that good or comfortable with giving people blow jobs, however he loves kisses and touches all over. Mind you getting a blowjob is something he really enjoys, hes just not good at giving. Good thing that both his boyfriends are amazing at it. Favorite thing the two do is Canada having Germany Ride him and then Matteo either riding him on top or giving him head during.

Romano oh, Romano. He’s a bottom. The most bottom-y bottom. An absolute pillow princess and a brat wanting to be tamed. He tops very very rarely, and out of the three has the most experience both giving and receiving and with all different partners. Even if he’s bottoming doesn’t mean he’s always at the whim of his partners though, he loves riding.

Romano is the least kinky out of the three, while the other two enjoy being tied up, Romano isn’t really a fan, he doesn’t mind collars or handcuffs but full shibari like what Canada or Germany would be fine with doesn't really fly for him. As I said before, he’s also the loudest, and gets very whiny when left to hang (not like either of them mind the noise). Romano loves giving and receiving blow jobs/hand jobs. Especially giving. It’s how he gets the good vibes of watching his partner squirm in the good way. He also loves to leave nibbles scratches bites and hickies if he’s allowed to. Catch him giving Germany a bite right above his collar before a meeting. Despite what might be expected, he can roll with degradation in bed really well but he falls apart quick with praise. He likes both but he will tear up when Germany gets overly gushy and feelsy.  Loves double penetration and being spit-roasted.

#gercanmano #hws #hws germany #hws romano #hws canada #ns//fw discussion

[stainedglasscas]

4, 8, 12 & 10 for the discourse asks 💓

4) Meg!Sam or Lucifer!Sam?

Lucifer!Sam. Very compelling and heartbreaking in the sense that sam has always feared that there is something inherently evil within him and then he finds out that he is destined to be the body for the literal devil and yet he STILL fights it until he cant anymore. and also lucifer sam in the white suit was hot sorry not sorry. 

8) How should the afterlife have been “resolved”? Did the fixing of Heaven work?

okay this is a BIG question that i dont feel that i can fully address well but no i dont think the fixing of heaven really worked. i havent seen the finale so take my opinions about this with a grain of salt bc i am going off what ive read about it on here but like. sam and dean being stuck for eternity with their abusive father, their mother who they had a very complicated relationship with, without any of their other friends or loved ones (besides bobby) and never getting a chance to really live or break from their codependence just..does not seem like paradise to me. plus jack is god now and hes literally 3 which does not seem like a good thing for a variety of reasons. it could have been interesting if the way heaven was set up was framed as a bad thing within the show but its framed as a wonderful happy ending which it is not imo. 

For me the idea of heaven as it is in spn is weird cuz its basically just, a better version of your regular life (and not even THAT much better). Which sort of takes away the preciousness of being alive on Earth. I feel like heaven should, at the very least, be somewhere where you can reunite with ALL your dead loved ones, and it should be somehow different from real life in a way that makes real life significant. I dont know how exactly id set this up though, id need to think it over a lot more. 

12) Favorite season of Sam?

oh this is hard its between 2 and 4...the way sam is struggling this whole season to figure out why he is the way he is and never loses faith in good even when he loses faith in himself is just...i feel like houses of the holy is THEE thesis episode of how i feel about sam in this season. i dont know how else to put it into words. and season 4 sam is compelling becase A. bloodfreak hot demon gf time B. its about giving in to the monstrosity within yourself and hoping that some good can come out of it even if you are destroying yourself, even if you believe theres no hope for you anymore. 

10) What are your thoughts on Dean and Cas’s dynamic/its resolution?

i mean its pretty clear from my blog that i am a destiel person lmao. an angel strayig from heavens path as he falls in love with a very broken and flawed human man...that man learning to have faith agian, not in god but in that angel...literally whats not to love. that being said, it does bother me sometimes how dean treats cas. he really takes him for granted a lot of the time and i think if they were ever to get together dean should have to work on this. im sure cas also has flaws in how he treats dean but im a cas girl so i simply cant see them. (i mean lets be real, all of tfw would need months of therapy before ever being able to have a truly healthy relationship with anyone). 

 so obviously i fucking hated how they resolved their relationship. the confession was beautiful but the way they just completely ignored it, cut out a lot of deans reaction, tried to pretend it didn't happen, and also just completely cut cas out of the story after he died was not only bad writing in universe but also WILDLY homophobic oh my fucking god. it literally just does ot make sense for dean to be completely unaffected by the death of is best friend of 10+ years the way he was in the show, even if, for the sake of argument, he didnt love him back romantically. they really had 12 years of queerbating leading to the fastest bury yours gays i have ever seen. also some people think this is ridiculous but i think deans death was bury your gays. the writers knew that the only significant connection dean had besides sam was with cas and they knew if they had cas confess love they would have to address deans sexuality and feelings for cas in a whole new way and so they just killed him rather than even entertaining the possibility of him being queer. and thats fucked up

#sorry this is so long! #asks #thanks for sending #hellercas

[discoveryranchforgirls]

no offense but your 'right' to horde money is always secondary to someone's right to life (like. access to necessary resources) and i don't understand why that is an argument. your excess or desire for excess is not more important than ensuring everyone has access to necessities! 1) there are absolutely enough resources to go around and if you feel there is not, blame the super rich for hoarding them and not the poor for needing them. 2) ok u want ur liberty to not have to help other people or whatever. you have a flawed definition of liberty tho it's very American of you to say that. but consider: if you are upset about your liberty being infringed upon by. something like having to pay more taxes bc the government wants to provide easier and better access to healthcare for more people. your liberty is literally hinging on other people's lives. also. people that do not have good and easy access to resources don't have. what you see as liberty. before you can have liberty you must be able to live. (live well, like if u are poor and alive ur still alive so its necessary to make that distinction its just to note that when i say live i mean live comfortably. ) (and not just bc u are used to the status quo but bc u are able to get what you need when you need it and its not a luxury to do things like get regular check ups and eat salad) so you can talk about liberty but don't pretend like it is anything but selfish. you want what you think of liberty for yourself and not anyone else except who you personally deem eligible. you deny basic necessities to others so that you can live in excess. think of jt this way: you have 10 gallons of water. this is more than enough to last you until you are able to get more water. someone else has no water. the government tells you to share so that the other person will not die of dehydration. you refuse. they die. maybe you refused bc u care more about having stuff than people's lives or u refused bc u are perhaps concerned that there is not going to be enough to go around so you have to keep more than you need in case you are suddenly unable to obtain it with the same ease as earlier. in this case, you need merely to look over and see another person who has thousands of gallons of water. you may look at them and be impressed and want to be like them which is understandable bc we are taught to value excess and aspire to it more than we are taught to value human lives especially when we do not have an emotional investment in the specific lives. (we are also taught to value things above relationships so im saying this under the assumption most people have a small circle of people that they really care about and love) (we re taughto value ppwer over other people more than we are taught to value people as individuals even as they do not effect us on a level we percieve) but the important thing is. that person has more. you know there is a limited supply of the water you want (probably clean and drinkable) you know that that person has more water than they will ever need. recognize that they are the reason why you feel uncomfortable sharing your excess with those who have nothing. (((kill them, steal their water, redistribute))) ok. now you have addressed why the inequality in resource distribution exists. (well the person with nothing should've worked harder. ok um. using that logic. why do you not also have thousands of gallons of water? you obviously don't think you are a lazy mooch so why would you think that about someone with less than you?) you also know that bc of that, you feel safer the more water you have. ok yes now. why do you feel safer? bc water is a limited resource and you know another person has more (a larger fraction of the available resource) which makes less water available to you. this encourages you to collect and keep as much water as you can so you can feel secure in knowing you have and are going to have enough water to sustain yourself. it encourages you to experience a certain level of insecurity about your access to the water which makes you concerned about sharing your water resources with anyone else so you can be sure you will have water for you that fear, especially bc it is surrounding a scarce(limited) resource that is vital to your survival. especially bc (even though you don't know the exact fraction) you know that the other person has a much larger amount of water than they will need (likely more than they will use) and of that they are restricting the ability of others to access water at that moment and in the future. you recognize that this person holds a lot of power bc they have so much water. they can easily manipulate people who need and want more water to do their bidding in exchange for water either in order to survive or in order to own a large amount of the water for themself. to do anything. people that have no water are the most in need and so the most vulnerable and easily exploited. offering people in dire situations tiny barely liveable amounts of water in exchange for any kind or amount of labor for any duration does work and is easy for those who have extreme excess. they lose nothing of any significance and gain whatever product of the labor they forced the needy to perform. it is easy to view this problem in extremes, understanding how the super rich exploit the super poor (almost self explanatory how this system is perpetuated. will explain later tho) for whatever. but this sort of analysis, while good for illustrating the worst parts of resource hoarding neglects to provide an analysis of those in the middle. that is most people. being unable to empathize with those who have less than you is a symptom of this system(will detail later to be clear) and also serves to perpetuate it. (how it started is a different story but very briefly and in the vaguest way possible ot started the same way anything ever starts. entropy. but that's a little too astronomical and abstract for this explanation) this is one way this system affects the middle class. the relationship dynamic just described also explains the relationship of the upper class to the middle class. the upper class views the middle class in a similar way. 'those people should work harder to get where i am' 'im not worried about what they need bc i have what i want etc etc etc. this (flawed)logic is completely thrown out the wealthier someone gets. they just keep hoarding (maybe as a symbol of power and dominance, and also as just a conditioned habit. that's what u do that's wjat everyone does etc etc) this perspective however is not  as harmful when only applied to the middle classes bc they are not in dire need.  the middle classes dont have necessarily exorbitant amounts (although certainly to those with nothing the accumaltion of resources even a little beyond a liveable amount seems exorbitant and an act of gluttony and selfishness) (explaining the use of 'necessarily' and meaning of exorbitant in context) but they are not struggling to obtain vital resources either. their interest in accumulating more of a resource is either a product of feeling insecure in their position in society that determines their access to resources, a product of the idea more=better (this translates various ways. more=better. ok why do people want power what's the point. they get more resources and more security.) or just kind of a robotic motion people do and aspire to just bc. that's considered good and normal or whatever(i think this is just a practical example of those effects though) so often times it is ignored by those fighting for people with nothing. ((thats not to say this SHOULD have these effects it just does.)) which makes people in tje middle class feel left out and potentially unsure/insecure of their access to resources if/when the changes to allow people with nothing access to even some resources will change and how that change will ultimately affect them and their resources. (ideally this wouldnt be an issue and people would just agree to not let others die of preventable things but bc of society being the way it is this is what happens) (and i think acknowledging the struggles although relatively insignificant compared to what lower class people experience is a good way to support and encourage more people to support the revolution)( I don't think it SHOULD be something that needs to be explained in order for people to support the revolution but i think that it is needed) (also i fully fully recognize my privilege in being able to write this in hopes of convincing the middle class to be a part of this instead of being in a position where the only way i can get timely access to resources is by less carefulor even more forceful forms of convincing those with excess to give it up so that others can simply live) (anyway we have to explain how the revolution will affect the middle class) so. a lot of the resistance a middle class person feels when asked to give up their excess is due to the upper class and mega wealthy possessing and being able to access an incredibly larger percentage of any resource at anytime with very little fear that they will have that privilege revoked. the middle class is taught by the economic structure that that is the most efficient and secure way to be (essentially. selfish. unwilling to give up their excess to those with none) and they should strive to keep that status and position either in fear and anticipation of a change or with the desire to become more powerful. (power=access to resources) (creates hierarchies bc of demand) (someone owns all or a lot of a particular resource (always the super rich, a minority) and is able to sell it at any cost) in this way middle class feelings of insecurity are created by the super rich. (feelings of insecurity include the desire to be more powerful (u worry you aren't powerful enough etc)) much of that insecurity manifests in rage towards the people begging and bc they are so worried about protecting their OWN resources rather than recognizing even looking for or considering the reason why there are people with nothing which is that scarcity is manufactured by the rich hoarding. they become angry and resentful towards the beggars and choose and are taught to see the beggars as unequal/inhuman/undeserving of (at the most basic level: life) simply even the same treatment, respect and access to resources (vital and luxury) that the middle class has so that the middle class can protect their resources from being taken (ultimately) and focus on that instead of figuring out a solution to the issue and understanding the source. this perpetuates the system as it is and so perpetuates manufactured scarcity of vital resources which directly causes the death of many people. it is selfish ok yes and horrible im not calling you horrible I'm just trying to find a solution and create a better life for everyone. it's not the beggars fault u feel the need to hoard resources as much as you can it's not your fault you think like this  but it is your fault you act on those thoughts and it is your responsibility to work to change it. and yeah it isn't fair you have to deal with a problem you had 0 part in creating but look. people are dying bc of that and if you refuse to help change the system you are allowing and contributing to their deaths. if all of the unnecessary deaths caused by manufactured scarcity could be evaluated by what percentage of their death was caused by the rich and middle classes, the rich would play a bigger part obvioisly than the middle class. this is not about who causes the most harm but about the fact that there is harm being caused. and the more members of the middle class willing to help lessen the amount of harm they do helps (concretely: directly saves lives) (abstract: contributes to revolution// revolutionary atmosphere/ acceptance/ understanding/exposure etc etc) firstly to save lives and secondly to take steps to begin to put a system in place which will ensure that people are not dying bc they can't get food or water or health care. and so working to create a more equal and sustainable and harmonic society. all around better. and by better i mean does the least amount of harm.

[edwad]

"Abuse of power" - okay, you have a MASSIVE FOLLOWING AND people consider your word law - you have girls sending you nudes, you have many spinoff blogs by people that consider your word the absolute truth, and you... haven't done very much to deal with it. You're one of the most popular blogs on tumblr. Don't pretend YOU don't do the very same thing- you snarkily condescend to people ALL THE TIME, too!!! Wtf, edwad. This shit got to your head.

...are you serious

first of all, i do not have a massive following. i have 4395 followers and if you know literally anything about how tumblr has grown then you'd know this wouldve been a lot of followers back in like 2011 but these days its nothing. its literally nothing. just because you have less doesnt mean im “one of the most popular blogs on tumblr”. there are people with 5 and even 6 digit follower counts and im not even to 5000 because its not like all that many people are really going to want to follow a communist. a ton of my followers are inactive or bots anyway. 

the spinoff blogs are run by a handful of people (many of whom have given up on them if they didnt give up immediately) that think the ___wad meme is funny. its not like i have an army of people willing to fucking die for me. my word isnt and has never been Absolute Truth and i CONSTANTLY have to point this out. have any of you seriously read my posts in the last couple of years because i keep getting these complaints about how everyone worships me and i dont do anything about it, when ive said COUNTLESS TIMES that i dont want people even looking up to me. that i should be criticized and thats why i tend to not openly take such firm stances on a lot of things, not because people worship my every word but because a lot of people who are just starting out aren't necessarily able to know what to look out for or be able to look into things at a super deep level because they dont really know what resources they have at their disposal besides just asking and having no real reason to believe the answer might be wrong or just one answer among trillions in inter-tendency dispute, and so my constant game is to try to ride the fence in educational settings because i dont know everything and i dont want to pretend to know everything or impose any of that on people that need the space to figure things out on their own. this has literally been My Brand for a good year and a half now. 

saying i havent done very much to deal with it when i fuckin post about criticism and self criticism all the god damn time and have like bi-monthly adderal ramblings where i literally cover all of this and more, saying that you should criticize everything (and always explicitly saying that ruthless criticism should be directed at me too) and express my distrust of meritocratic hierarchies on the tumblr left specifically because this abuse of power takes place all the time, which ive talkeed about multiple times wrt to what i was calling “pop communism”. none of this is new. its stuff ive been covering for years and apparently no one ever thinks i address it because no one bothers to read it or just pretends it never happened because its convenient for making points like you are. 

and??? girls??? sending me ??? nudes??? what the fuck? what the hell are you talking about. do you think i just get random nudes from strangers all the time  or something. literally where did this even come from. this is disgusting and i dont even know how to respond to this. if anyone has sent me nudes in several years its because i knew them and because we already had some level of closeness, not because i was a popular blogger on a Web Site. i dont even really have friends on here. i literally lost all my friends back in like 2014 and im really not close with anyone on here EXCEPT some people that i also happen to know personally, and many of which i actually originally met OFFLINE. anyway this is really weird and the implications of this is fucked up like what are you getting at 

snarky condescending is what i do when im arguing with actual assholes. the rest of the time im usually just using an ironic tone, another thing ive talked about repeatedly, but honestly has a lot to do with my annoyance at people being nice to me lmao. so youre now trying to bring up one of the things that is an outgrowth of something you deny i do. i hate compliments and so i dont take them seriously when i get them. im also not going to answer everything fully and seriously and i shouldnt be expected to if im not up to it or if its something ive already answered countless times. 

its like you people literally know nothing about me and just make shit up when this is the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything ive tried to do for the last few years. if none of you understand me then thats a different issue but to flat out deny the truth when ive stated it so obviously a thousand and a half times is pointless. i feel like ive answered this same message like 10 times in the last month but you people just keep saying i never address tumblr power dynamics and my own follow base, which is a lie and its super fucking stressful having people say you dont do this when you do it all the time. like shit i might as well just not bother if its going to be ignored anyway and people are going to demand to know why i havent done it. 

[lifeisaboxofcereal]

No clue who this is addressed to, nor what the purpose of this is/will be, but feeling exasperated that nothing helps me feel better, how about I give venting via writing a shot.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been involved with this guy for about 5+ years. Lets call him owl. Its the first thing I looked at in my apartment trying to come up with a code name instead of publishing this guys name who any of you reading most likely already know his name via any of my fb posts in the last 5 years. I met him my freshman year at UD. Ballroom dance team. To this day I dont even know if I can explain what drew me to him. He was cocky and confident, cheeky, and cute. He danced. He was a Marine. He seemed so out of my league as a dorky, naive, super awkward freshman that didn’t know anything about college culture. I learned quick that a few dates does not mean we’re dating, and that he was a man of many many ladies. I learned quick that he did not really take my feelings into consideration but I would put them aside and accept any interactions or affections that were given. We had a connection and I had fun with him. I just wanted to go with it.

I went with it for all four years of college. Always waiting for when he’d finally be ready to commit. Or see how much I do for him. How I’m always there, good times and bad.  Even when he really really pisses me off. Waiting for him to see that I was his best friend the way I saw that he was mine. Waiting for him to stop messing up with me, appreciate me, cherish me, want to show me off.

I’m gonna be honest, that never came. Not in college. I didnt date anyone else. I didnt get involved with anyone else more than a few months, and those involvements were usually the product of me and owl being in one of our phases where we were on the outs and he was not talking to me. but once we were good again sure enough I’d lose interest in whoever it was that I was entertaining in that time. I regret a lot of that. Not giving others real chances, because they actually deserved them and wanted them.

But with him it was always like a game, like a chase, never ending, suspenseful, thrilling, exciting, passionate, never a boring moment. Always keeping me guessing. I hated it but I loved it. He didn’t respect me, and he didnt respect my feelings, but still I stuck around. It’s only now that I’m seeing that I had slowly been losing respect for myself, so what incentive would he have for respecting me when I was being a hypocrite? Our dynamic was one of push and pull. There were the times he’d pull me in and never want to let me go, and then without warning he would push me away and leave me feeling abandoned and confused as to what I did to deserve it.

He hurt me a lot. Never physically. Never. Never forced himself on me, I never once was physically scared of him. But emotionally. Every year there was at least one incident. One big fight that seemed like the be all end all. That would leave me in my dorm crying with my roommate wondering how he could be so cold and harsh towards me after everything I’ve done and everything we’ve shared. Always wishing that he would miss me and realize everything and change. It was a clear cycle, and I’m not stupid, I was very cognizant of it, but idk, i liked it and i was still waiting. What I had with him was so different and special I couldnt let it, or him, go.

Last year, October, we had a big falling out. That was really the be all end all. I knew because, and as stupid as this is or sounds, in all of our fights we had never unfriended each other on facebook or done something as extreme or defining as that. We always left doors open. But with this, he burned all bridges. He made a facebook status about me. He wanted all of my things out of his place. He 100% snapped. It was over, he broke things off and our 4 years of being together but not really together, was over.

I spent the next 5 months in therapy and trying to keep busy with friends and classes and trying to find myself again. So much of my identity was dependent on him and associated with him. All of my memories included him. Even dance reminded me of him. I was so lost. And missed him so much but had motivation to work on myself and for once be comfortable and happy with being on my own. I remember one particular session with my therapist in which she told me that if I still have hope that we will reconcile one day, I need to completely let go of what we had. Put it to rest, let it go, mourn it, and leave it in the past, because there was too much to be fixed and too much wreckage to salvage anything. That if we were to ever reconcile it would have to be a completely clean slate. Free of the past transgressions. So that night I blocked him. I blocked his number, his facebook. his snapchat, everything. It was hard and scary but I did it in hopes that thats what I needed to do even if temporarily and symbolically leave our 4 years together in the past.

2 days later was Valentines day. I was supposed to go to a devils game with a friend and she cancelled last minute because she was sick. I reached out to everyone in my phone to try to find someone to go with me because I did not want to spend valentines day in bed thinking about him and missing him. Nobody could come to the game. I was offered a shift at work and almost took it but someone hopped on it before I could. So i was left with chinese food and netflix. I let myself cry and be upset, and feel the hurt remembering our past valentines days together. And then my mom came to my room and let me know that jake was coming to the house. shit i said his name. whatever. she let me know that he asked permission to come and clear the air, and that he would be there in 40 minutes.

He was there in 30, and we sat down, with my best friend as a third party, and we talked for 5 hours. About everything. Anything. All the grievances we had with each other. What we realized. What we regretted. And he told me that he loved me. That he needs me in his life, and said all of the things that I had waited 4 years for. I kept thinking about how right my therapist was, about letting go and letting them come to you, about starting fresh, about leaving the past in the past.

The months that followed were the epitome of a honeymoon phase. My god. we were finally doing things right. He was showing me off, appreciating me, never wanted to let me go, it was everything. I dont think I’ve ever been so happy. We were so in love with each other, so excited, couldn’t wait more than 2 weeks to visit each other again. We moved in together. We made an apartment a home together. We started new jobs and set goals. We motivated each other, supported each other, and wholeheartedly loved each other. I finally felt like I was in a functional and healthy relationship. I felt so loved every single day and I finally understood what people meant about that unbelievable feeling of being in love with someone who was just as in love with you. We did and learned so much together. We had setbacks, and tiffs here and there, but we worked through each one.

Theres a lot in between then and now, but I don’t think it’s worth getting into or explaining. All I can say is that I don’t know how we went from that, to this. Not speaking. Not looking at each other. An apartment that was once so full of love and laughter now only has silence and tension.

He has problems. And to be honest. I’ve always known that but never wanted to accept it. I have problems too because I am very compliant. The relationship became emotionally abusive. I am mentally abused. And he has left me hating myself when I dont even know who I am. I don’t regret staying with him. I don’t regret getting back with him last year. I dont regret anything. All i’ve done is love and give as much as I possibly can. Im not angry. More than anything, i’m disappointed.

I thought he was it. Actually. I know he is. If he were to get the help that he needed. But in a normal relationship, when there is an issue, you don’t feel that your partner becomes a completely different person. That’s not normal. And right now, I don’t know who he is. For the past 2 weeks I have been wishing I could just snap him out of it. Grab him by the shoulders and shake him. Show him a photo of us and see him come back to me. I have written heartfelt letter after heartfelt letter. Debating giving one to him in hopes of softening him up and coming out of this haze of anger and hatred hes in right now. But thats not normal. I shouldnt have to snap him out of anything. I shouldnt have to wish he’d come back. I shouldnt have to plead and beg for him to remember our good times to soften up. None of it is normal. He dissociates. And when i look at his eyes hes not there. I know this sounds dramatic but it’s true. It’s scary, it’s hurtful, it worries me, but it’s true. He completely detaches, and it’s as though he never knew me. As though we never shared a single experience together. And nothing I do can bring him out of that place. As I write this, I feel like I’m writing or remembering someone that died. And thats because essentially, that is how I feel. the man i spent the past year with loving and learning and GROWING died. He’s gone and I dont know why or where he is. And i’m left with this fraction of myself that doesn’t know how to cope with any of it.

He’s not good for me. Its not worth it. I deserve better. I’m going to be so much happier without him. These are all words that an infinite number of friends or loved ones can say to me but the fucked up part of all of it is that I don’t want better, I want him. I know that I will never be able to fully let him go. It’ll never be fully over. And i will always love him. I care about him more than I care about myself. Which is a big part of the problem.

I don’t know where to go from here. Or how to cope. I don’t know what to do. All i know is that I miss him with every fiber of my being. I can’t open my phone gallery because the last photos I took were with him and I can’t look at them. I made a new facebook to run away from it all. Nothing I do makes me feel better. Friends. Work. Gym. Margaritas. Movies. Its all a distraction from missing the person who made me smile ear to ear every morning, and exhale peacefully every night. Even now as I write this, hes walking around the apartment and its as though Im a ghost. He doesnt see me. Acknowledge me. Notice me. And while I used to see him and feel overwhelming love, I now just feel hated. Complete hatred. As though I ruined his life, when all I ever tried to do was make his life better.

So friends, that is my story. I don’t know how it’ll end but I can tell you for sure that I will never be able to hate him or be angry with him. And I will always love him. What comes next for me, I have no idea. I thought writing all of this out would maybe help me have some sort of epiphany but no epiphany came.Sometimes I wish I could have my mind wiped clean of all of this so I wouldnt have to deal with this pain. But I cant. So this is going to suck. For a long while. I’m going to be upset for a long while. I hope at the end of this I can find myself and be a version of myself that has value and pride. I want to be the Bren that loves herself, respects herself, values herself, and is proud of herself. The bren that marched on washington for womens rights in the world needs to march for her rights in her life. More than anything though, I hope he finds himself. I hope he does what he needs to do. I only ever wanted him to be happy. Even if it was at my expense.

[apsbicepstraining]

Is It True Exclusively Half Your Friends Actually Like You?

It is clear that your friends is in agreement they are your friends. But recent findings published in the gazette PLOS ONE announcement this into question.

At least thats the content you are able to take if you departed with popular media coverage of the findings and conclusions. Headlines such as Only half your best friend actually like you, analyse exposes may see you wonder about the holes in your social network.

Friendships contribute to our mental and physical health; our well-being accepts without them. So is it true only half your best friend looks just like you?

The research in question does not, in fact, speak to that. But it does shed light on the subtleties of how friendship is recognized. Liking someone is not the same as electing them as a sidekick: we are to be able think of a friend we dont like very much, cant we?

Nor did the research aim to find out whether friends liked one another. Rather, the authors set out to explore how friendship reciprocity mattered when implementing broader social involvements, such as facilitating someone to quit smoking.

The research addressed two questions. First, what ratio of friendships are reciprocal? That is, how many of a persons friends likewise charge such person or persons as their pal? Second, to what degree does reciprocity in affections matter when it comes to how peers influence one another?

CC BY-ND

The first question

To answer the first issue, 84 students in a Middle-Eastern, undergraduate business-management class were asked to proportion the other 83 students on a proportion from zero to five. In this reciprocity examine, zero represented I do not know this person and five was one of our friend. The midpoint anchored at acquaintance. Students were also asked to indicate how the other 83 would charge them.

The benefits of this approach was that researchers had access to full cross-overs of data in a closed system. This enabled sophisticated statistical network analysis, which couldnt be afforded by looking at an open parish in which all members cannot be identified or accessed.

Researchers coded the data such that a score of threeor higher was considered a love. From the 6,972 ratings provided by the 84 students in the business class, 1,353 weighed as friendships.

In 94% of these seen relationships, students expected them to be reciprocal. So if John rated Jack as his friend, he expected Jack to rate him as a pal also. But this was so in only 53% of cases; less than half of the students had their friendship creeds about others reciprocated.

What does this mean ?

From this data it seems that, in social networks, there is low agreed to by saw love. The studys generators float one ground for this: we carry an rosy belief of friendships with higher-status mortals. That is, we project friendship with people who have more social clout than us in the perhaps naive hope they will reciprocate.

But because the reciprocity survey cant speak directly to this possibility, it remains for future experiment to measure this logic.

Can we really extrapolate to humanity based on 84 students in colleges and universities classroom? Felipe Bastos/ Flickr, CC BY

Its also important to ask whether we were able to extrapolate to humanity based on 84 students in a university classroom. Between the relatively small sample size, the constrained situation of an undergraduate classroom and cultural constraints in the test, you are able to reason no extrapolation should take place.

Another thing to keep in mind is the scoring approach: carve the line for love at threeor above on a five-point magnitude is a subjective announce. One can question whether friendships should be treated categorically or whether there is a more valid approach to quantifying relationships in all their complexity.

The second question

For the second question, investigates deployed a fitness intervention on a separate test of participants who lived in the same residential community and had all completed friendship ratings as in the reciprocity survey.

Participants had software installed on their mobile invention that tracked their physical work and allocated fiscal reinforces for their fitness advance. In two versions of the application, tenants were taken together with two cronies who could see one anothers progress and potentially be reinforced for the others progress.

The critical exam for the research wonder, with regards to peer affect, stemmed from analysing participants’ fitness changes as a function of the type of friendships they held with their buddies.

Once again, the approach of sampling from a residential community passed health researchers access to full data regarding a closed network, enabling nuanced analysis of the social dynamics at romp. But, once again, the sample size was tiny and different contexts has similar limitations when it is necessary to broader extrapolation.

What were the results ?

It would be logical to reckon acquaintances who concur they are friends( reciprocal sidekicks) affect one another, in a preferably positive mode. The acquires demonstrated this: when nearby residents fitness friends were reciprocal pals, those buddies helped promote positive outcomes in the form of more activity.

When nearby residents fitness sidekicks were reciprocal acquaintances, those cronies facilitated facilitate positive outcomes in the form of more activity. from shutterstock.com

But when it comes to non-reciprocal buddy-to-resident love, it is crucial to be addressed by the direction of each affection. An incoming friendship represents a sidekick rated the resident as a sidekick, but the resident did not frequency the friend as a pal. An outgoing relationship signifies a resident rated the chum as a friend, but the sidekick did not do the same.

The study found outgoing affections from occupants to buddies had no influence on residents’ physical act. If Max contemplated Jack was his friend but Jack didnt agree, and the pair were chums, Jack had no influence( either positive or negative) on Maxs fitness outcomes.

But the affect when it came to residents’ incoming relationships from their chums was positive. Max would have positively influenced Jacks upshots, even though Jack didnt agree that Max was his friend. And the force was even more positive when it came to reciprocal friendships.

What does it signify ?

A popular approaching in public health interventions is electing a sidekick to assistance person in their efforts for behavioural change.

The reciprocity survey testifies parties are inaccurate in predicting who considers them a acquaintance and that many friendships are in fact outgoing rather than reciprocal.

A favourite approaching in public health interventions is nominating a sidekick to subscribe person in their efforts for behavioural change. California National Guard/ Flickr, CC BY

These conclusions have practical significance in that they demo the popular buddy-nomination approach is likely less effective than we would want. Instead, we need to identify reciprocal relationships, since these are most effective. Next beneficial would be incoming affections, rather than the outgoing ones.

What else should we take into account ?

It important to highlight that the researchers showed the reciprocity questionnaire detects in five more samples.

First, the reciprocal relationship charge among the fitness residents was 45% even lower than the 53% in the business class.

Second, investigates carried out the analysis on various other data sets they had worked on in the past. Reciprocal relationship calculates derived from these were similar, wandering from 34% to 53%. Replication heightens the extent to which we can generalize broader social procedures based on the dynamics established in this particular study.

But again, all this talk of whether our friends like us misses the item. When it comes to social affect in particular, the kind of positive peer influence we try to seek when fully participate in behaviour change reciprocal friendships are of key import.

When we cant access reciprocal pals, we need to seek reinforce from people who elect us as friends , not the other way around. Lisa A. Williams

Peer Review

This article has identified key fatigues in this papers analyze layouts as well as the challenges of the the scale used to evaluate friends’ affections towards each other.

My biggest problem with this paper, though, is the sensationalised interpreting of the results. The consider abstract claims beings are generally good at recognizing the direction of their friendship ties, and media reports state that only half of your best friend like you.

But the data subscribe a humbler, and perhaps happier, legend. In detail, when participants claimed person as a sidekick, the other person reciprocated 70% of the time. So while its true-life around half of the friendships in such studies were reciprocal, it still seen close to three-quarters of your friends like you.

For instance, Bill says Sally is his friend and she concurs. Jim says Bob is his friend, but Bob doesnt identify Jim as a friend in return. We now have two friendships and exclusively one( 50%) is mutual. But of the three people who claimed a sidekick, two( Bill and Sally) were right( 66% ). It takes twice as many parties to make a reciprocal friendship, which is why those two numerals differ.

Its worth noting we do have a tendency to slightly overestimate our friends closeness, but my take-home letter from this paper is that were actually better at adjudicating how close our friends experience to us than just about anything else about them. Sean Murphy

Lisa A Williams, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, UNSW Australia

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Speak the original essay.

The post Is It True Exclusively Half Your Friends Actually Like You? appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[666boobiez]

mbti survey (dont even bother keep scrolling)

1. What’s your MBTI type? I am an ESTJ.

2. What’s the thing you most love about your type? I love being a Te-dom. I feel like I get so much done in comparison to other types. Anytime I talk about or read things about my MBTI type, I feel like I have my life together.

3. What’s the thing you must hate about your type? The stigma that comes with it. Unfortunately, most people connect auxiliary Si to being traditional and very past-oriented. It also doesn't help that a lot of ESTJs today are older men. So people always get the "annoying businessman authority figure" vibe and don't really deviate from that idea, when in real life ESTJs can be and often are full of personality.

4. How would you say your cognitive functions apply to your life? Te - I'm a HUGE planner. I make schedules for and map out everything I'm doing. I'm not a go-with-the-flow kind of girl, and I'm honestly very proud of myself for that. Si - When I was first trying to type myself, I was heavily relying on my Si without even knowing it. My conscious thought process when trying to figure out something is, "Okay, let's try to compare this to examples from my memory." I'm also very good at figuring out which actors in one movie played another role in a different movie, which I've heard something Si-doms and Si-auxs are very good at. Ne - I know that I am definitely an Ne-user because I get carried away with my trains of thought. I like to think of possibilities and almost start to live in them after a while. I find it difficult to know when to stop brainstorming, and how not to stay committed to one idea. Often times, my Ne morphs into Te halfway through my thought. I think about how things can turn out and what the possibilities are, and then I start to plan waaay ahead based on one or more of these possibilities. I have to consciously stop myself and come back down to reality. Fi - Honestly, I am so aware of this weakness that I immediately knew I was either an ESTJ or an ENTJ because of the inferior Fi. I have no idea how my moral compass works. I was a vegetarian for 10 years because I believed that I can get by without eating meat, and then one day I just dropped it all and dropped the cause completely. I also feel like my feelings control me more than I control them. I'm terrible at hiding how I feel, and I often end up exploding like a time bomb if I don't talk about my feelings with someone. Inferior Fi really sucks.

5. Are there any stereotypes about your type that you think are wrong? I think I addressed this already LOL.

6. Have you ever met someone who sahres the same type as you? If so, how’s your relationship with that person? I thought that my mom and I were the same type for a long time, though I later realized she's actually a very cynical ESFJ. Until then I wasn't really happy with it for a while... not that I don't like my mom, but because I'm a 3w4 enneagram, I really don't like being considered the same as someone else. I always want to be my own person, and I wanted my MBTI to myself. I guess that was in vain anyway, since ESTJ is one of the most common MBTI types.

7. If you had taken the test 10 years ago, do you think you would have scored the same? I think I wouldn't be fully developed or old enough to be able to take the test when I was 8. But I did take the test 4 or 5 years ago. I initially typed as an ENFP (boy was that one wrong). I didn't think much of it... honestly, back then I had a very idealized version of my career, and the website on which I took the test said ENFPs often make careers in media. I was happy enough about that, and didn't really care much about the specifics of Myers-Briggs.

8. In your opinion, what are the best types for your personality type? I don't know what this question means LOL.

9. How long ago did you know MBTI? I really got into MBTI about a year and a half ago. But I did know of its existence a few years before that.

10. Do you consider yourself an MBTI nerd? Of course! It's like my favorite thing to talk about.

11. If you had the chance to change your personality type, would you? If so, which type would you choose? ENTJ. Hands down. They have that intuitive spark that makes them infinitely more interesting and sexy than ESTJs. They also have that coveted Ni-aux, which allows them to accurately predict the future based on instinct rather than blindly stab at it with examples from the past. Not to mention that ENTJs are much more rare than ESTJs, which would definitely boost my ego (because of that 4-wing).

12. What’s your favorite Tumblr blog about MBTI probably yo-why-am-i-here

13. What MBTI type you get along with the best? I typically enjoy the company of Ne-doms, it seems. (ENFPs and ENTPs)

14. Which MBTI type would you date? Well, I've always heard that ISFJs make great partners for ESTJs. Before I started dating my boyfriend, I always wanted an ISFJ boy (I had crushes on Cyril from Archer and Jorah Mormont from Game of Thrones... both ISFJ characters). I also liked the bad boy vibe that ISTPs gave off too, and I remember thinking Duncan (ISTP) and Courtney (ESTJ) from Total Drama Island were the CUTEST couple growing up. Personally, though, I always had a thing for ENTPs, since I've always been fascinated by and a little jealous of intuitives and Ne-doms. And in the end, I guess that interest and attraction won me over. I'm currently dating an ENTP and the dynamic is pretty damn good! I keep him grounded and help him keep his life together; he helps me loosen up and is much better with handling my feelings and going with the flow than I am. It's a surprisingly stable and enjoyable relationship given how different our cognitive functions are.

15. Which MBTI type do you admire? ENTJs and INTJs. I LOVE rationals. And those two types just effortlessly have their shit together.

16.Which MBTI type you don’t get along with? I don't particularly like INFPs and ESFPs. INFPs tend to think they're special snowflakes... to an irritating degree. ESFPs are impulsive and I don't like their "can't-be-tied-down" attitude. Both of these types can be extremely melodramatic (I think because they share aux Fi) which tends to annoy me. Obviously I’ve seen very likable people of both types, but in theory, I tend to dislike these the most.

17. What’s your parents and siblings MBTI? I’m adding in a few other personality indicators as well, to make this more fun. My mom - ESFJ 9w8 sp/so My dad - an ENFP 3w2 so/sp who is stuck in an Ne/Te loop (it took me a long time to type him because of this) My sister - ESFP 6w7 so/sp Me - ESTJ 3w4 sp/sx

18. Do you ever just look at people and try to guess their MBTI personality? All the time.

19. Do you ever watch a movie/read a book and try to guess the character MBTI personality? Every time I start a new show, movie, or book.

20. Have you ever feel confused about your type? It took me an extremely long time to type myself actually. I considered a whole bunch of types: ENTJ, INTJ, INTP, ENFP, ISTJ, ENFJ, etc. I think my fundamental problem with typing myself was that I was extremely unhappy when I first got into MBTI, so I didn't know how I would act in ideal circumstances. I also felt like my personality didn't fit the common ESTJ personality (thanks to that wonderful stereotype). It was only until I was happy, and I discovered my 3w4 enneagram that my MBTI type finally made sense.

21. In a scale of 1 to 10, how identified you feel with your type? Probably a 7.

22. Do you talk to your family/friends/classmates/collegues about the MBTI test? All the time. They hate me for it LOL

23. Is there any cognitive function you would love to develop more? Hmm... Definitely that tertiary Ne. I don't even recognize it sometimes, and it turns into Te so fast it's barely even there. I feel like Ne is such a fun function and I want to be able to use it more.

24. What’s your position on personality? Do we born with a determined personality or we adquire our personality based on our life experiences and evironment events? Or do you believe in a little mix of both? In the whole nature vs. nurture debate, I find myself very much on the side of nurture. I think we're all mushy blobs when we're born and our circumstances shape us into the people we grow up to be. I definitely wouldn't be an ESTJ if I was raised differently or went through different things growing up.

25. Do you mix MBTI with any other personality tests? (the Horoscop also counts) Or you use it purely? Nah, I'm a hoe when it comes to personality tests. I've lately been identifying myself as an ESTJ 3w4 sp/sx gold-green choleric-sanguine type. (That's a combination of 5 personality tests.) I'm not a fan of horoscopes though... I don't think Gemini ever fit me very much.

#mbti #personality tests #survey #i am Trash #long post

[bdub86]

blackfoxx

The white male style of debate is to antagonize you until you snap. Then they win by default, because they make up their own rules in which being upset automatically invalidates your argument. The key is also to argue about things that they have no stake and experience in, so they dont snap first. Of course in the event that they do snap first, its of course passion, not anger…

White people are like little kids who make up new rules and obnoxious powers to keep themselves from losing….

At the end of it all, they are happy that you are so civil and can debate things rationally and clearly without getting upset. Everyone shakes hands and thanks everyone for being able to discuss “conflicting” viewpoints. Because after all everyone needs to hear the opposing side to truly be sophisticated. Even if you’ve heard that side all your life and it completely devalues you as a human being.

What i hear is that the mark of civilization to white people is being dehumanized and taking it like a champ.

They also have little to no concept of power dynamics in these ‘sophisticated” discussions.

sentforwho

Why I stopped indulging people who followed this argumentative “format”

controlledeuphoria

This is so real and applicable to every dinner party I’ve ever been to

eviltessmacher

This is a particularly aggressive form of Sealioning.

Sealioning is the name given to a specific, pervasive form of aggressive and willfully intentional cluelessness, that masquerades as a sincere desire to understand.

A Sealion is someone who, when confronted with a fact that they don’t care to acknowledge, say, the persistence of systemic racism in America, will ask endlessly for “proof” and insist that it is the other person’s job to stop everything they are doing and address the issue to their satisfaction.

The purpose of Sealioning is never to actually learn or become more informed. The purpose is to interrogate. Much like actual interrogators, Sealions bombard their target with question after question, digging and digging until the target either says something stupid or is so pissed off that they react in the extreme. The other major reason why people hate Sealioning is because responding to it is a complete waste of time.

It’s an insidious trap. Responding to questions asked reasonably is, of course, a natural thing for people to do. I like to do it myself; educating others is generally pretty entertaining, especially if they are receptive to learning. Dismissing those questions can appear condescending or rude, especially if you actually are condescending or rude.

Of course, these questions are not asked because the person asking them genuinely wants to know the answer. If they did, they would do their own digging based on your statements, and only ask for obscure or difficult-to-discover information. This is the “debate principle”. It is best explained thusly: When you go to a debate, you educate yourself on the topics at hand, and only request evidence when a claim is either quite outlandish or unflinchingly obscure.

No, these questions are asked to make a responder waste their time. It works, too; I’ve responded to Sealions before, answering all their questions and claims for evidence, only to be greeted by even more willful ignorance. It’s a way to force people into responding to questions phrased neutrally but asked in bad faith.

The name “Sealioning” comes from a most splendid webcomic, “Wondermark”, by David Malki.  

It can be found here: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/873260-sea-lioning

Sealions are just “asking nicely” but they are asking questions that have been asked and answered fully many times, and are unwilling to so much as open a new tab to look up the answer, nor will they recognize the validity of your sources, your experience or expertise no matter what you do. It is impossible to satisfy a Sealion.

Make no mistake.

Sealioning is a specific form of harassment. You may not explain their inquiry has already been address. You may not cite a source. You may not refer to a previous answer. You definitely may not ever point them to a link. You must spend all your time and energy responding as much as you can to every little details of every innocent, polite little question they ask. Sealioning isn’t a sincere attempt at anything. It’s a calculated technique to grind an opponent down.

digitaldiscipline

If any of my followers feel like you’re being sealioned, I can play elephant seal and help destroy them.

mightyviper

Not only is this a thing, it’s actually something various hard right groups are teaching their members to do. It’s essentially just never backing down no matter what, never admitting someone else is correct, and always try to force the argument onto the path you want to go down. So I’ve found the best way to combat it is:

A) Call them out on their inability to admit they were wrong. This sounds pretty simple, but it’s very easy to get dragged into whatever they say next instead of just pointing out that you’ve proven their first point is bullshit yet they’re still yakking on.

B) They try to box you into a corner? Box them back. If they won’t accept a link, laugh at them for failing to understand it/read it. Call them out for trying to veer the conversation in another direction without yielding the point. Specifically state that you see their cheap tactics and find them weak and a sign of a poor debater.

C) Never let them move onto the next question. Demand they answer yours instead. Why should they get to set the terms of the debate? Why is it always them who deserves explanations?

D) Suggest that they’re arguing in bad faith. That they don’t really want an answer. And if they say no way? Then point out that someone arguing in good faith would do all the things they refuse to. They’d read links and evidence. They’d agree on at least *something*. And failing that, they’d walk away. Good faith arguers will reach a certain point and then just say agree to disagree. But these guys? Won’t. They will not leave it alone no matter what. That’s the hallmark of a sealion trained to demoralise us.

And when they indirectly admit that, you call them out on it.

Then you don’t leave it alone. Hound that fucking sealion until he honks for mercy.

prettyarbitrary

I can understand why ‘discourse’ turned into a bad word, because this is how we’re taught in academia.  It’s debate, argument as a game.  When you’re kicking around literary criticism in a classroom, the stakes are (or at least seem) so low that to get really worked up about it is just silly.  In that context, when somebody loses their composure, it’s easy to see it as grounds for disdain.  And even more, you’re actively taught to keep your cool, because if you get emotional then it will cloud your ability to think clearly and you might find yourself descending into ad hominem attacks and other crud that’s foul play in a formal debate.

What they failed to drill into us was that when you take that behavior out into the real world with you, apply it to issues that actually have lives hanging in the balance, it becomes oppressive and abusive.

I look back to realize that this used to be me, and all I can do is hope I didn’t hurt anyone too badly and be thankful I grew some good sense.  But that didn’t happen through people engaging with my antics.  Doing that only meant you were playing the game with me (god, what a snobbish mentality that was).  No, I had to learn better through shutting up and listening to peoples’ stories and coming to understand that to them, it wasn’t a game at all. That unless all parties agree to the rules, you’re not having a debate, you’re just being an asshole by arguing with a stranger who didn’t ask for it. That peoples’ safety, health and happiness are not issues that are up for argument.

So yeah. If you find people who argue this way, tell them to go read some books and educate themselves before they come back and try to talk with you. Or if this sounds like you, consider rethinking your approach and doing something useful with all that critical analysis you’re so proud of, like turning it on the problems they’re facing to help find ways to make their lives better.  And maybe driving off the occasional asshole who still thinks they’re in debate club.

[apsbicepstraining]

Is It True Exclusively Half Your Friends Actually Like You?

It is clear that your friends is in agreement they are your friends. But recent findings published in the gazette PLOS ONE announcement this into question.

At least thats the content you are able to take if you departed with popular media coverage of the findings and conclusions. Headlines such as Only half your best friend actually like you, analyse exposes may see you wonder about the holes in your social network.

Friendships contribute to our mental and physical health; our well-being accepts without them. So is it true only half your best friend looks just like you?

The research in question does not, in fact, speak to that. But it does shed light on the subtleties of how friendship is recognized. Liking someone is not the same as electing them as a sidekick: we are to be able think of a friend we dont like very much, cant we?

Nor did the research aim to find out whether friends liked one another. Rather, the authors set out to explore how friendship reciprocity mattered when implementing broader social involvements, such as facilitating someone to quit smoking.

The research addressed two questions. First, what ratio of friendships are reciprocal? That is, how many of a persons friends likewise charge such person or persons as their pal? Second, to what degree does reciprocity in affections matter when it comes to how peers influence one another?

CC BY-ND

The first question

To answer the first issue, 84 students in a Middle-Eastern, undergraduate business-management class were asked to proportion the other 83 students on a proportion from zero to five. In this reciprocity examine, zero represented I do not know this person and five was one of our friend. The midpoint anchored at acquaintance. Students were also asked to indicate how the other 83 would charge them.

The benefits of this approach was that researchers had access to full cross-overs of data in a closed system. This enabled sophisticated statistical network analysis, which couldnt be afforded by looking at an open parish in which all members cannot be identified or accessed.

Researchers coded the data such that a score of threeor higher was considered a love. From the 6,972 ratings provided by the 84 students in the business class, 1,353 weighed as friendships.

In 94% of these seen relationships, students expected them to be reciprocal. So if John rated Jack as his friend, he expected Jack to rate him as a pal also. But this was so in only 53% of cases; less than half of the students had their friendship creeds about others reciprocated.

What does this mean ?

From this data it seems that, in social networks, there is low agreed to by saw love. The studys generators float one ground for this: we carry an rosy belief of friendships with higher-status mortals. That is, we project friendship with people who have more social clout than us in the perhaps naive hope they will reciprocate.

But because the reciprocity survey cant speak directly to this possibility, it remains for future experiment to measure this logic.

Can we really extrapolate to humanity based on 84 students in colleges and universities classroom? Felipe Bastos/ Flickr, CC BY

Its also important to ask whether we were able to extrapolate to humanity based on 84 students in a university classroom. Between the relatively small sample size, the constrained situation of an undergraduate classroom and cultural constraints in the test, you are able to reason no extrapolation should take place.

Another thing to keep in mind is the scoring approach: carve the line for love at threeor above on a five-point magnitude is a subjective announce. One can question whether friendships should be treated categorically or whether there is a more valid approach to quantifying relationships in all their complexity.

The second question

For the second question, investigates deployed a fitness intervention on a separate test of participants who lived in the same residential community and had all completed friendship ratings as in the reciprocity survey.

Participants had software installed on their mobile invention that tracked their physical work and allocated fiscal reinforces for their fitness advance. In two versions of the application, tenants were taken together with two cronies who could see one anothers progress and potentially be reinforced for the others progress.

The critical exam for the research wonder, with regards to peer affect, stemmed from analysing participants’ fitness changes as a function of the type of friendships they held with their buddies.

Once again, the approach of sampling from a residential community passed health researchers access to full data regarding a closed network, enabling nuanced analysis of the social dynamics at romp. But, once again, the sample size was tiny and different contexts has similar limitations when it is necessary to broader extrapolation.

What were the results ?

It would be logical to reckon acquaintances who concur they are friends( reciprocal sidekicks) affect one another, in a preferably positive mode. The acquires demonstrated this: when nearby residents fitness friends were reciprocal pals, those buddies helped promote positive outcomes in the form of more activity.

When nearby residents fitness sidekicks were reciprocal acquaintances, those cronies facilitated facilitate positive outcomes in the form of more activity. from shutterstock.com

But when it comes to non-reciprocal buddy-to-resident love, it is crucial to be addressed by the direction of each affection. An incoming friendship represents a sidekick rated the resident as a sidekick, but the resident did not frequency the friend as a pal. An outgoing relationship signifies a resident rated the chum as a friend, but the sidekick did not do the same.

The study found outgoing affections from occupants to buddies had no influence on residents’ physical act. If Max contemplated Jack was his friend but Jack didnt agree, and the pair were chums, Jack had no influence( either positive or negative) on Maxs fitness outcomes.

But the affect when it came to residents’ incoming relationships from their chums was positive. Max would have positively influenced Jacks upshots, even though Jack didnt agree that Max was his friend. And the force was even more positive when it came to reciprocal friendships.

What does it signify ?

A popular approaching in public health interventions is electing a sidekick to assistance person in their efforts for behavioural change.

The reciprocity survey testifies parties are inaccurate in predicting who considers them a acquaintance and that many friendships are in fact outgoing rather than reciprocal.

A favourite approaching in public health interventions is nominating a sidekick to subscribe person in their efforts for behavioural change. California National Guard/ Flickr, CC BY

These conclusions have practical significance in that they demo the popular buddy-nomination approach is likely less effective than we would want. Instead, we need to identify reciprocal relationships, since these are most effective. Next beneficial would be incoming affections, rather than the outgoing ones.

What else should we take into account ?

It important to highlight that the researchers showed the reciprocity questionnaire detects in five more samples.

First, the reciprocal relationship charge among the fitness residents was 45% even lower than the 53% in the business class.

Second, investigates carried out the analysis on various other data sets they had worked on in the past. Reciprocal relationship calculates derived from these were similar, wandering from 34% to 53%. Replication heightens the extent to which we can generalize broader social procedures based on the dynamics established in this particular study.

But again, all this talk of whether our friends like us misses the item. When it comes to social affect in particular, the kind of positive peer influence we try to seek when fully participate in behaviour change reciprocal friendships are of key import.

When we cant access reciprocal pals, we need to seek reinforce from people who elect us as friends , not the other way around. Lisa A. Williams

Peer Review

This article has identified key fatigues in this papers analyze layouts as well as the challenges of the the scale used to evaluate friends’ affections towards each other.

My biggest problem with this paper, though, is the sensationalised interpreting of the results. The consider abstract claims beings are generally good at recognizing the direction of their friendship ties, and media reports state that only half of your best friend like you.

But the data subscribe a humbler, and perhaps happier, legend. In detail, when participants claimed person as a sidekick, the other person reciprocated 70% of the time. So while its true-life around half of the friendships in such studies were reciprocal, it still seen close to three-quarters of your friends like you.

For instance, Bill says Sally is his friend and she concurs. Jim says Bob is his friend, but Bob doesnt identify Jim as a friend in return. We now have two friendships and exclusively one( 50%) is mutual. But of the three people who claimed a sidekick, two( Bill and Sally) were right( 66% ). It takes twice as many parties to make a reciprocal friendship, which is why those two numerals differ.

Its worth noting we do have a tendency to slightly overestimate our friends closeness, but my take-home letter from this paper is that were actually better at adjudicating how close our friends experience to us than just about anything else about them. Sean Murphy

Lisa A Williams, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, UNSW Australia

This article was originally published on The Conversation. Speak the original essay.

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