#i feel like my writing is getting bad and im wondering...

[aceofshitposts]

hey so uh I just wanted to say that I really admire you and your blog is a very happy place for me and I was wondering if you could write some JayTim fluff please? Im having kind of a shitty day and even just a hundred words of first kiss or established relationship would really cheer me up! Thank you so much if you could but I don’t mind if you don’t either like don’t feel bad if you don’t feel like writing mkay 🥰🥰.

HELLO so i dunno if you're still around anon, i hope your days have gotten better. This is another one that's been sitting in my drafts a year and a half. Hope everyone enjoys~

-

"Don't ask questions."

"What?" Tim asks half because he's a shithead and half because what?

Jason has him half crowded into a corner of the department store, arms boxing Tim against the perfume counter. They were meant to be gathering intel on the son of a politician who Tim was pretty sure was helping fund a human trafficking ring that Jason had also been working to bust.

Jason growls in frustration, opens his mouth to say something but clearly sees something over Tim's shoulder because he snaps his jaw shut again. Panic flits over his face briefly, a slight widening of his eyes, the only warning Tim gets before Jason's pressing closer and-

Oh, that's Jason's mouth on his. That's- This is fine. It's fine.

Tim can think under pressure, can adapt. Jason is kissing him, okay. There's no time for personal feelings on it no matter how much he kind of maybe wants to scream; they must be a reason Jason is kissing him and that probably has something to do with whatever he saw over Tim's shoulder.

It's just work. Just for the case.

Which is what he tells himself as he finds himself grabbing a fistful of Jason's jacket to pull him closer.

Just selling the act.

Jason pulls away, too soon, face looking a little pink (Tim's sure he looks the same) and does a quick scan of the room.

"Come on," he says, taking Tim by that hand and leading him towards the escalator.

Don't ask questions. That's what Jason said.

But Tim's mind can only concentrate on one thing:

When can we do that again?

#jaytim #astrix writes

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

here's some tidbits from the Laughingstock Misunderstanding fic outline, just 'cause i got mild amusement outta them and thought y'all might too <3

#THESE AREN'T BLURRY I SWEAR TUMBLR JUST KILLS THE QUALITY TILL YA CLICK ON EM #hopefully it provides some Entertainment during this dry spell. this Drought #im slowly chipping away at the outline whenever the Feels hit me #it... amuses me #i am both the king and the jester in my court #but no fr the funniest part of this lil plot To Me #is how frank/julie/poppy have no clue about the drama thats been going on in their tiny neighborhood #like... literally everyone else is so Involved #poppy: oh howdy seemed so mellow this morning i wonder whats wrong #frank: yes... come to think of it i havent been bothered by barnaby in a while #julie: well that just doesnt sound like either of them! #and then they all hum and sip tea and change the conversation topic #absolutely unprompted #outlining my beloved.... #its writing without having to write. diet writing #and room to throw in memes to my hearts content #so that i can have a Chuckle while i go through the arduous torture of actually writing <3 #mannnnnn i wanna write this fic so bad #i will get there i will get there Eventually #for now it will live in my brain in my tags in my outline

[rexscanonwife]

Against my better judgement I'm watching more of the 2016 ppg reboot and lemme tell you something. I HAAAAAAATE the way they write Utonium I HATE IT!!!

But sometimes there'll be a little moment here or there where he's kinda...cute > ^ <

#jane journals #self insert talk #🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬 #ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE THERE'LL BE A VERY RARE W #like the one i just watched on recommendation from my partner where bubbles doesnt feel cute anymore cause she took a bad school photo #and woww they CAN write him being a good dad for once!! 🙄🙄🙄 #not like good dad is a CORE PART OF HIS CHARACTER #but he reminds her that being cute is just ONE facet of what makes her a wonderful person #and then he brings her close and says 'between you and me you're the cutest one in the world!' UGGGHH #YOU CANT DO THAT YOU CANT TRICK ME LIKE THAT!!!! #and in the one i currently just finished he had a. job interview?? i guess he DOESNT get paid by the government #but the lady doing his interview said that they 'really love his work' and he BLUSHED ugghgh #fuck this show. ESPECIALLY FUCK IT FOR HAVING /SOME/ MOMENTS I ACTUALLY LIKE!!!!! #also it seems weird to me that bubbles would become so hung up on being cute #in the og its not like she's consciously being cute because its her THING she just IS #shes naturally innocent and good hearted ie CUTE #idfk #oh also buttercup pulls out a bucket list and the first thing is 'yell at a bird' #and ngl that made me blow air out of my nose ajfkf #ugh i could say a lot more but im not gonna

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy #media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate #to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually #get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes #them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they #would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too #detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch #things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and #can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the #aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea #is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character #or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about #BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often #walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably? #maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity #vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode #And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers #intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally #everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me #that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc. #ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference #towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations #hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally #boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying #things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus #ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of #why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world #and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all #characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then #I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol

[milkweedman]

Resisting the urge to carve myself a distaff from one of the evergreen boughs ive dragged home and learn medieval in-hand distaff spinning. Do i need to do any of this ? No. Am i happy with supported spinning ? Yes ! Am i probably gonna do it anyway ? ... also yes

#we talk a lot about the rabbit hole of fiber arts #but i dont think we talk enough about the rabbit hole of different spinning tools and techniques... #so far id say ive gotten proficient in drop spindling wheel spinning and supported spinning with russian style spindles #really want to get into either tahklis or charkah wheels #bc im gonna be visiting my wonderful fiancé in india and hes still gonna have work for most if not all of the time im there #so my plan is to spin a LOT. hoping to get really proficient in cotton spinning bc ive always really sucked at that #and then i really wanna learn medieval style spinning as well #if i was an academic i could easily see myself devoting my life to writing a book about spinning tools through the ages #i am so endlessly fascinated by it #but also really bad at research and have a pretty crippling case of dyslexia #i wanna try. all the tools #it always feels like the way to get closer to the past is to spin like them #since that has been THE constant human activity since quite possibly pre-homo sapiens times #i dont know how much cloth the neanderthals wove or if they were more inclined to use animal skins #but we do know they made yarn and they were good at it #sadly my hands cant do cordage. fucks em up in about a minute flat #but iirc we've found stone spindle whorls which may have been used for spinning #stone whorls can also be used for hand drills and fire starters and things like that so idk #anyway. i just want to know SO badly #spinning

[sinterblackwell]

sigh…..when you discover a new favorite author whose writing is so clearly of a niche variety judging from the average reviews coming from other readers….😓

#❣️ #the pain of seeing other people not enjoying jin shisi chai’s writing as much as i have is borderline excruciating 🥲 #like this author knows how to write & solve a good mystery and she will solve it good #i was so worried getting into ‘lip and sword’ + ‘in the dark’ because of these mixed reviews and then i ended up loving them?? #just came out of finishing vol.1 of ‘in the dark’ and now here i am….literally sitting in the dark of my bedroom…. #….wondering how i could’ve clearly enjoyed the story more than others #some readers said there had to be a fault with the translation bc of how disjointed the story read and how inconsistent and im just thinkin #you guys know this is a psychological mystery right…….? it is meant to feel disjointed sometimes #but even then i sincerely think the writing was very well done #like yeah the pacing was incredibly slow so you really have to be in the right mood for it and take your time #but that doesn’t mean it’s bad #in the dark #booklr

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night.......... #actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it? #not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭'' #first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy. #anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon. #hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

[caffeinatedopossum]

Starting to wonder if I have bipolar but then I would literally have almost every mental illness. Like fr I'm not kidding you, I'm a collector and I never chose this

#it does run in my family since my mom had it #i just wonder because while im almost always suicidal the way that prevents itself can greatly change very quickly #like periodically ill be stuck to my bed very sad very mopy for like 3 weeks to 3 months #and then sudden i get this burst of false energy that is actually severe restlessness #and i NEED to do something when that happens. sometimes i just cannot sleep because ive gotta do something #sometimes i frantically draw or write and ill have these moments where i feel ecstatic and when i come back to normal levels of sadness #im convinced i mustve been delusional to think the thoughts that i had then #usually the sadness isnt as bad during those periods but the suicidality is much worse actually because i become very frantic #and have so much more energy #idk. my theory thus far has been either 1) adhd causing mood dysregulation and hyperactivity #2) fluctuations in my depression and anxiety combating each other. actually both of these. #or 3) DID. just DID. i think thats lretty self explanatory #the interesting thing is that i think what i described with point 1 and 2 would be clinically considered bipolar...? #listen clinicians dont always consider the other factors that contribute to what symptoms the person is having #especially in psychology where the lines are very blurry since diagnosis tends to be made on behavioral observations #and also on self reported symptoms.i suspect im one of the only people who would describe symptoms like 'im having x because i have y' #and not just 'im having x symptom' #skfjfh sorry to everyone who reads my tags 👍 psychology special interest go brr

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

.

#suds soaps #not many people have been interacting with my writing lately #im lucky if i get a single word like 'Nice' or something #its. demotivating. im not sure if half hearteded acknowledgement or nothing at all is worse #im supposed to write because i enjoy it and not for praise. so it makes the feelings worse in a way #like its dumb to be feeling bad #i really miss how it was a few months ago when I'd get to talk back and forth with people about ideas and content #im stressing over if there was something i did wrong or if theres a way i can fix it. but im wondering if ive just #reached the end of peoples interest #I still have ao3 fics i have to finish and a series to post so its not like Im out of ideas #but im staring at the wips wondering if anyones even going to comment on this 25+ chapter fic #and then what. where do i go from here #this is probably just a little dramatic. I've just felt lonely lately

[florenceisfalling]

like idk. i miss seeing content from s.igne (though i respect gab wholeheartedly). i miss fanart from my favorite artists. i miss older eras of j.se at times (and yes, there were older eras, the way people pretended he Never Changed is just weird). i miss old anti designs. i miss the old fic trends. i miss having a very active fandom (though i am so happy to see the new arrivals) and i miss seeing him interact with fans the way he did on tumblr back in the day. i miss the way i used to interact with some of the blogs here before i decided to fuckin,,, wage holy war and make enemies out of them (joking, but i have seen sides to some of these people that i wish i could tear out of my memory). i miss feeling confident that i could trust the good intentions of people here and even the big man himself (not god. that makes sean sound like god. you know what i mean). i miss when some of you weren't so fucking bitter which is funny because i'm the bitterest bitch alive. idk. i don't think it's bad to miss any of these things because i'm not going to be an ass and act like it's anybody's fault. i'm not going to be bothered by gab for being happy because i'm glad she is happy, and i'm not going to get bothered by sean taking a reasonable step back from this hellsite when people were cruel to him, and i'm not going to get mad at trends for changing because that is how time works. but i do miss things and i know its cringe and parasocial and perhaps even problematic but i hate having to pretend like i never have Any feelings about the past lest i break a hypothetical rule of what is the Normal level of attachment to an online community. okay. i think i'm done now.

#one of my favorite writers left because they couldn't deal anymore and one of my favorite writers turned out to have shit views and one of #my favorite writers left because of something that was partly my fault and one of my favorite writers stopped writing because of two of the #others and one of my favorite writers hurt someone i love over and over and over and one of my favorite writers left because they were the #someone i love. two of the big names hate queer folk that don't align with their ideals and half the artists left for twitter or for dead. #the man himself left because criticism always becomes cruelty and people lie to make themselves feel good. #the editors all turned their accounts private and my favorite told me on livestream that i was good and starting somewhere but then forgot #my name. and i thought maybe i was the bitter one but then i look at some of the other people who have been here so long and wonder why #they even bother anymore because they care more about complaining with everything j.ack does than anyone who actually enjoys his stuff. #and you know i poked fun at *** for a lot of things. some deserved some not. and one of them was the fact that she compared fandom #to warfare. and yes that's still silly i don't think it's a fair comparison but i do know that she wasn't fully wrong. #when you've been here for a long time and ive Been here for a long time you start to get really used to names and faces #and the change can be like waking up to a new wallpaper in your room. not a bad one just a new one. #i don't want to pretend that this fandom is just a silly little hobby for me when lets be honest i know some of yalls personal lives a #little too dearly for that. ive loved people here ive lost people here the first person who showed me this place fucking DIED and i still #lose it sometimes over the fact that he would have loved jameson so much and we couldve been closer friends had he stayed alive a few more #years. so yeah. sorry for being fucking cringy or whatever but there have been times where i've felt like im on a sinking ship watching #everybody else row away and i refuse to go. so like. cool. cool. im glad things are good again but i never really got to process the bad #things.

[pagesofkenna]

moment of silence for whatever the hell happened to Dragon Prince

#im... honestly not sure how i feel just yet? #its not... bad? i mean the animation isnt good but the show overall isn't bad #but. i JUST rewatched the first seasons. and its definitely a kids show but its GOOD #season 4 is if anything even more definitely a kids show and. meh #main highlight is really how explicitly queer this season was able to get and im wondering how much of that was a tradeoff #like we'll let you get in several kisses between openly queer characters but we'll slash your animation budget in half. or something? #also what i perceive as a writing quality drop can be kinda explained by the writing team being pulled in 20 directions with the #graphic novels and novelizations and all the work done on the setting guide etc? gotta keep the actual show a... silly kids show? #but at the same time it wasnt like it was BAD... i maybe just had my hopes too high up? idk i gotta ruminate #hold up im gonna reblog this to add more specific thoughts about Terry

[loyalhorror]

god the more i think about the comics vs the show the more i want to rip into it with my teeth (in a good way, to analyse it all). show!morpheus is so much more capable of change than comics!morpheus; he tries, at least, or is willing to try, in a manner much more obvious than comics!morpheus' more subtle attempts (which are more like implications, like thoughts, rather than actions). i'm interested to see where the show takes it and what changes are made along the way.

#rat.exe #granted unfortunately i think s1 was kind of like... #i mean. i don't know about you but i didn't really enjoy it during my first watchthrough. i could barely understand what was going on #or why i should care. and most of the acting and plot was UHHHH. NOT THE BEST. #and i DO need to rewatch to get a better feel for it but i think the show suffers the same limitations as all lit-to-tv adaptations: #the lack of depth provided by a textual narrator #and visual information that cant be conveyed onscreen. #i still love the show! i'm just like. wondering if the writing will be strong enough to make up for some of the things that get lost. #and to some degree i think i'm a little worried that they'll 'soften' the plot and make it less of a tragedy? #which isn't bad in a vacuum but since i'm enjoying the comics/audio drama so much im like aaa... #sandblogging

[mediawhorefics]

hello marie, hope ur okay! so, there’s this girl on Wattpad who’s claiming that she finally got your permission to translate tts, is that true or… she’s just lying ?!

https://www.wattpad.com/1318890612

why can't these people just leave me alone?

#in case y'all were wondering this is a big part of why i don't write hl anymore #i know it's not fair to the majority of people who are so lovely and encouraging and respectful and supportive #but this kind of disrespectful shit started in the early pandemic when i was really depressed and uninspired and i was started to feel less #interested in 1d cos nothing was happening #and i can't even begin to tell you how it felt... to already feel so low in personal life and then to see the way my work was treated...... #it really changed my relationship to this fandom. in bad ways. #and ik im prob. gonna get some anon saying im annoying for complaining/that theyre glad im gone or whatever mean shit i always get when im #being honest about what it felt like to be a creative person in this fandom #but whatever this is my blog and some of the people who steal others' stories should know how it feels #and it feels like shit #about me #i have like... a message from that person from like... last friday ?? asking permission #and i didnt reply cos i simply did not see it #cos i dont open wattpad #unless someone sends me a link to a stolen copy of my fic #idk when they started posting maybe they did ask first #but still #its written in my ao3 profile #its written in the tts author's note #its fucking written on my twt profile #i dont know how much clearler i can make myself #idk maybe im a bad person their message says theres a revolution in iran and thats why i should say yes... idk

[the-acid-pear]

i wonder if the deltarune secret bosses will ever be as hard as Jevil again. Bc like, Jevil was hard, he was sooo fucking hard, he made my eye bleed more than once, only one who also managed that was spamton NEO solo, but that wasn't a secret boss it was the final, so Jevil remains to be the hardest secret boss for now.

On top of that, Jevil has the particularity of being a boss you can easily go back to, which is fair! Imagine if, like Spamton, you were locked from the main story after you open up his gay little cell. People have taken MONTHS to beat this goofy motherfucker, now imagine if you got locked forced to do that.

So there really are two possibilities: either future secret bosses aren't as tough as Jevil OR maybe they work just like him, allowing you to fight them whenever you want and later go back to the future. And I really doubt the later because, like, with Jevil that worked bc there was little to no interaction.

Third secret option is Toby decided to be mean and force you to pay for your actions but I think I'd be allowed to cancel him on Twitter if he did that for making my eyeball straight up blow up.

#luly talks #deltarune #still sad Jevil like. has 0 interactions btw </333 #like he has but he's not nearly as involved as Spamton in any way #mf literally was just some guy #we do get cute little easter eggs in ch2 w ppl recognizing his clown ass but that doesnt make up for it in the slightlest 😞 #i also imagine spamton isn't gonna be the only one who's a big deal. but i could be wrong! #i fucking hope im not tho it would feel like an insane downgrade otherwise #btw reason i was thinking of this is bc erh umm. green soul is gonna be the bane of my existence. #i suck so bad at the green soul it's unreal. i just can't see man im just blind straight up. #i wonder what toby will do w that btw bc its kind of the most boring one EKRHDMFHDJG #it's just a traumatizing sort of rhythm game made so i would never finish genocide #but again i bet jevil so i can still his catchphrase and say I CAN DO ANYTHING! #but. if my eyeball pops off the socket im writing that callout post. ok?

[ruairy]

.

#it has really been a long time since ive drawn anything really abd like #sometimes i sit and wonder if I'll even remember how to draw my ocs when/if i get back into it #i dont even mean this in a depressing way but more of a like. weird object permanence kind of way #this is probably the longest ive ever gone without drawing ecen one thing and its really weird!!!! #what am i without my One defining trait which is being able to draw lmao #i can also write but i have no intention of ever posting my writings anywhere lol #i think i wpuld kind of like to start getting back into the art thing in the new year but!!!! #whos to say if that will happen #at this point in time i don't really care aside from when i look through my art and think aaaaaaaaa #i miss drawing #and then im like ok well im over it like two minutes later #sertraline is weird and also makes me wonder what spurred me to draw while i was unmedicated #i think it really was entirely for attention lmao #awful awful little gremlin that i used to be ( like a year ago) #i do miss my ocs though!!!! #yeah they live in my brain and are constantly rotating like sweetly glazed rotisserie chickens but i miss seeing them u get me #and unfortunately im the only one who can truly draw them the way they are intended to be #i kinda feel bad for them rn!!!!! they simply cannot exist without me and if i never draw again then they can never be known #on other news i wanna make a new pokemon oc to go alongside rua #they will never see the light of day but they'll just have to be ok with that

[rise-my-angel]

why do you think you're blacklisted?? your writing is frcking INCREDIBLE 🥺🥺🥺 pls pls don't give up!!!

i just know the difference between regular lack of interaction and purposeful exclusion and i fall into the later. i have a suspicion as to why but im not considered a friend so it doesn't really matter shat i feel about it. i guess it just upsets me personally when its my biggest passion that no one cares to say a word about

#the fics im super proud of and excited to write about or more of #are the ones that i have gotten almost to no zero feedback about #and its hard for me to find any writer on my dash who doesn't have some kind of regular support from other writers #but im honestly screaming into a void #i was so psyched to be writing again but the more i write lately #the less people say anything about them #and the less interaction i get and im just sitting here with no friends on this site anymore #wondering if my writing is worthless because everyone else is better and my work had zero redeeming qualities to comment on #theres an intention behind the scenes that ive felt before from this same part of rhw fandom #and im hurting a lot lately about it #like my old writing is cute #but only getting comments on those and not the current ones im proud of #it stings and i feel like im just a bad writer thats just taking up space in this fandom #id leave and literally no one would notice #i have no place here despite how hard I've tried #but interacting with my work is a curse #i wrote 500 words of joel todat #and im ready to delete it #no one cares #everyone else is better and thats what they care about