#anyway. i just want to know SO badly

[milkweedman]

Resisting the urge to carve myself a distaff from one of the evergreen boughs ive dragged home and learn medieval in-hand distaff spinning. Do i need to do any of this ? No. Am i happy with supported spinning ? Yes ! Am i probably gonna do it anyway ? ... also yes

#we talk a lot about the rabbit hole of fiber arts #but i dont think we talk enough about the rabbit hole of different spinning tools and techniques... #so far id say ive gotten proficient in drop spindling wheel spinning and supported spinning with russian style spindles #really want to get into either tahklis or charkah wheels #bc im gonna be visiting my wonderful fiancé in india and hes still gonna have work for most if not all of the time im there #so my plan is to spin a LOT. hoping to get really proficient in cotton spinning bc ive always really sucked at that #and then i really wanna learn medieval style spinning as well #if i was an academic i could easily see myself devoting my life to writing a book about spinning tools through the ages #i am so endlessly fascinated by it #but also really bad at research and have a pretty crippling case of dyslexia #i wanna try. all the tools #it always feels like the way to get closer to the past is to spin like them #since that has been THE constant human activity since quite possibly pre-homo sapiens times #i dont know how much cloth the neanderthals wove or if they were more inclined to use animal skins #but we do know they made yarn and they were good at it #sadly my hands cant do cordage. fucks em up in about a minute flat #but iirc we've found stone spindle whorls which may have been used for spinning #stone whorls can also be used for hand drills and fire starters and things like that so idk #anyway. i just want to know SO badly #spinning

[samarecharm]

Ryuji having the worst bi crisis of his fucking life bc his mom just had to fucking ask “oh, whats this young ladys name?” when he showed her a picture of Akira petting Morgana. Like okay yeah Akira is like objectively pretty, hes like the Classic Delicate Pretty Boy just like Yusuke which is like whatever; straight dudes have eyes, and they know what women like to see. But now hes like. Seeing things he likes in girls IN Akira now and he cant make it Stop like its genuinely keeping him up at night 😭

Pretty boy used to be A Face that would come up in his mind when he thought of the term. There was no specifics in mind, just like. Pretty Boy. Pretty boy! You say that and theres like a Face Template that shows up in ur minds eye and hed just attribute that to any dude who was like Vaguely Pretty. But now its Akira 😭 and he finds himself cataloging things that Akira does that he KNOWS he finds cute when girls do it. The hairtuck behind the ears. The headtilt when he mishears a question. The Actually Pretty Doe Eyes. The breathy, nearly inaudible chuckle he does in place of a Real laugh (thats made better by the fact that its so hard to get him to laugh in the first place). He likes cute snacks. He blushes easily. Ryuji is sitting here like ‘theres no fucking way man. Like theres just no way. That shit makes NO sense (a lie)’ lying in bed in the middle of the night looking like this vvvv w his phone in his hands (looking at pictures of akira)

It drives him insane bc like he did Not see any of these things as like inherently girly or whatever. Like thats just akira thats just his bro! And he does OTHER weird shit that cancels all that shit out. Hes like a messy engineer/tinkerer, he rolls out of bed and whatever situation his hair is is everyones problem. He wears that AWFUL gym uniform and doesnt tweak it AT ALL?? He likes baseball?? hes got a whole binder of trading cards that he will show off if u show any moment of weakness. Like hes just Some Dude but also manages to be Some Girl at the same time and Ryuji is like thats not fair. Life sucked ass but at least it made sense before Akira stumbled into it 😭

#persona 5 #pegoryu #akiryu #chattin #long post #THIS one is almost a year old lmao its been in my drafts for a while #i at least tagged it as pegoryu before running away cutely so i think i was finished ??? well now i am throwing it into the world #anyway. akira is the guy ever. and ryuji is exploding #‘i have died. badly’ #i like thinking of akira like this; hes ryujis first exposure to nb ppl and gnc adjacent stuff #even if akira is p masc by most standards hes still got a bit of. aloofness. about his gender stuffs #ryuji is just really into the way akira carries himself #and it takes him a while to go oh. oh i think its cause i like this dude #um. #😳. #also i wanted to clarify #but ryujis mom just doesnt know Who akira is in that picture #and in my head hes like. looking down at mona and petting him (while sitting) #(AND hes with ann and theyre both kind of a distance away from the camera) #so at a quick glance; hes just Some Girl #and even though shes wrong; it kicks off the mental chaos olympics in ryujis head #‘what hes not a girl’ to ‘where would she even get that from’ to ‘well akira said himself he didnt rlly care what ppl thought about it’ #to ‘well. where DID she get that from?’ to lookin at what his homie does a little closer to ‘aw fuck. man.’ #but i love that for him #ALSO. RYU/GORO IN TAGS….. #but ryuji going oh my GOD oh my godddd 😨😓😓😓 when something clicks in his head about goro #his voice is so practiced and naturally softspoken and his public facing persona is very demure #and once he gets past the initial anger over goro being a pompous prick who shittalks about the thieves. hes like. god fucking dammit. #There Is A Pattern and A Type He Has and Its Killing Him To Realize it. #hes literally sitting in his room w his head in his hands

[bisexualfbiagents]

Seeking the truth about aliens means a perfunctory nine-to-five job to some. For although Agent Diana Lesky is noble in spirit and pure at heart, she remains, nevertheless, a federal employee. As for her partner, Reynard Muldrake — a ticking time bomb of insanity — his quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche, one shudders to think how he receives pleasures from life.

THE X FILES GIF MEME [7/20] EPISODES Jose Chung's From Outer Space (3.20)

#the x files #txf #dailytxf #txfedit #xfilesnet #fox mulder #dana scully #txfmeme #memeepisodes #mine #3x20 #jose chung's from outer space #dare i say......... episode of all time #i hope you all understand how badly i wanted to include a shot of alex trebek in this #but his face in only visible ONCE and it's dark as fuck #just know i tried ok #anyway i've seen this episode a million times and i never get tired of it #just so quotable so silly goofy so meta #absolutely in my top 5

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him #I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭 #if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is) #he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED) #the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!! #literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[varilien]

given that i've ran this blog for as many years now i think i should get much credit for this being what, only the third dick joke i've ever made here hdfkhkj

anyways. there's this point in the story where vash and wolfwood have to go their separate ways for a while, but neither of them are dealing with it particularly well

(image id below the cut since it's a longer one)

[image ID: a rough, doodley 5 panel digital comic of vash and meryl from trigun, but from my leaden skies au where they've both been lightly redesigned to fit into the setting of monster hunter. vash is a wyverian with long pointed ears, wearing a red coat with gold trim and buttons. meryl is a human wearing a beret as seen on other guild girls, but her all-white outfit is a practical two-piece blouse and shorts set. the whole comic is comprised of warm colors, orange and yellow and dark purple

panel 1: vash sitting in the foreground at a brown desk covered in candles and books, with a book opened in front of him that he flips through with a bored expression and his cheek resting against his hand. he appears to be in a library, lit by candles on dark grey chandeliers hung from the ceiling. meryl is in the background stretching up to reach a book high on a shelf, and beside her is a table which is also covered in candles and several tall stacks of books

panel 2: a closeup of vash's face as his eyes widen and his ears prick up. something in the book has apparently caught his attention

panel 3: a closeup of the page vash was looking at, an illustrated info sheet about the flying wyvern, khezu. a candle in the table brightly illuminates the colored page

panel 4: meryl has come around by vash's shoulders with a stack of books held in her arms. she quirks a brow as she looks over vash's shoulder at the book. vash has a neutral, hard to read look on his face, but his ears are still up and his eyes are still shiny and wide as he seems to consider the page for a while

panel 5: a yellow word bubble comes from vash, who huffs a long sigh and says, "maybe i should call him...". his head has tipped to the side as he rubs his neck and frowns, blushing a little with his ears drooping. meryl physically recoils from him and her face scrunches up in disgust, saying, "eww" and, "there's something wrong with you"

end ID.]

#trigun #trigun anime #trigun fanart #vash #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #vashwood #leaden skies au #monster hunter #monster hunter fanart #monster hunter crossover #crossover #on a serious note i REALLY love putting vash in a role that emphasizes how he's a smart dude with a frankly astonishing depth of knowledge #of his specific specialties. like that aspect of him gets its moments to shine in canon but like #he is Literally just a little scientist man in leaden skies and it's very fun to work with :3 #anyways i've been wanting to do this forever and lately i've been badly needing to practice new things again so it was a fun excuse lol #ALSO: for girlies in the know here. is ANYONE ELSE burdened with the knowledge of khezu's concept art #like goddd girl they really said okay we want this thing to look phallic as fuck but this is a little Too Much. tone it down 10 percent dhf #but only 10 percent. mostly they just took away the. head shape. ffsdfdssdfs

[lilybug-02]

CT Comic Speedpaint - Page ??? (Part 25) I’m not keeping track 😔

#I don’t know I really like showing my progress and this comic. It’s kind of consumed my entire life. #so why not #I need to make a Patreon so badly. But I’m so busy with college I could not keep up with it right now. #If you stay till the very last moments you can tell that I actually wanted Chara to stop Kris from running away #But since I knew Susie was going to be showing up anyways I figured I would just cut the scene #I felt it would lengthen too much of the script and provide unnecessary tension to an already extremely tense scene #anyways hope y’all enjoy :) #deltarune chara timeline #my art #speedpaint

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

sekai au 👊😔

#my post #hatsune loopku..... #isat #in stars and time #isat siffrin #isat loop #I was SUPPOSED to make a modern au but look. where that got me #prpject sekai..... #hsatsune miku...... #woaw......... #I haven't planned this yet. I just wanted to draw loop with Miku's pigtails really badly because I came up with the shape idea and went lik #ogguuguuuuGUG #oh bell yeas #actually well I have a little #small group of college students who met via tutor group (by odile) that turned into a book club and maybe band? #they would all suck playing instruments honestly #I made it a sekai au because I needed loop to go SOMEWHERE and went insane trying to figure something out till I finally went fuck whatever #fine #siffrin made a sekai and loop is there. fine. whatever. fine. yeah. fine #I don't know how the timeloop will come in. #I cant have both a timeloop and a sekai at once. #I would forget the other exists #and focus all on one #or it would be too much at once #also its kind of hard to do a timeloop like the one in-game in a modern way? #there's no good rocks to be crushed by that aren't like a collapsing building anyway #OH OH also this might be the last project sekai related art you see for a WHILE #this game hit my brain worse than project sekai I'm so serious #I've burned through almost all of my sketchbook and there are three(3) drawings that aren't siffrin #THREE.

[thelaurenshippen]

cw: harry potter, jk rowling, transphobia

I occasionally see posts/get messages about the various harry potter references in the bright sessions, etc. and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently so just so any new/younger listeners of my shows know:

jk rowling is a terrible transphobe whom I hold zero respect for and I haven't given a dime of my money to her since she revealed who she truly is. I want the whole bright universe to be a safe space for trans people (including the trans folks in our cast and crew!) and if I could go back and remove those references, I would. but I can't! harry potter was an extremely significant part of my life until...well, until it became very clear who she really was. it makes me so sad to think that folks might be finding TBS now and get thrown out of the story by these references, but just know that the people who made the show do not stand by jk, and that in many ways, the show is a product of its time.

#the bright sessions #harry potter #jk rowling #transphobia #I know there's PLENTY to say about the bigotry in the actual books and I think there's a lot of merit to those criticisms #and I'll own to choosing not to see some of that stuff before all this went down bc the books were meaningful to me #(this is not HP specific - another beloved childhood book series that was EVEN more formative to me growing up) #(is also something I've grappled with in recent years bc I think the author is actually probably wildly misogynistic) #(even though he's never behaved badly (far as I know) in his public life - there's stuff in the text) #BUT ANYWAY #it can be so hard to remember that we didn't have ANY inkling of her bigotry in this regard until 2018 #all of the original run of TBS was written before that #and I'll admit I gave jk the benefit of the doubt in 2018 re: her liking that tweet! I wanted to give her a chance to learn and grow #and she did....not do that #but TAMA was written in that little grace period #and then a few references in TCT were taken out during recording bc june of 2020 was when she really started to go mask off #and so we were making changes in real time #we didn't know what to do about quidditch #bc we were like 'this is a sport that people play in college and it's just called that?' #'and it's already canon that caleb plays?' #and it wasn't called quadball yet #anyway not trying to make excuses! #just know that none of those references were put in with any malice #and I guess I *could* go back and rerecord all those lines and replace them #but I know enough about my original audio engineering to know that it woudl be VERY hard to make it sound natural #and idk I do think there's something to be said for not covering up errors in old work #I'm not going to try to pretend HP wasn't important to me #EDIT: I've turned off reblogs for this post #also this is not me trying to tell other people how to approach their own HP fandom #fanworks especially - there's no benefiting jo in that - and I think it's totally legit for ppl to want to take HP as their own!

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet #a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants #i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice #which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak #is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe #i could see that #but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to #and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue #and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for #would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for #in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level #and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life #genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like #and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships #but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back #with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted #and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship #not on the level fabian needs #but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion #theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns #if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend #anyway! this boy needs therapy #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fabriz

[moonlume]

tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything

#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism. #sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art... #i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this. #but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again. #its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years. #im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again... #but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it. #anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human. #i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable #but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start #ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍

[mamawasatesttube]

i think bart should be allowed to cyberbully people sometimes. as a treat!! enrichment in his enclosure!!! i think sometimes someone says something shitty about superboy online and impulse shows up in their mentions calling them a string of really ugly swears in interlac. HE'S allowed to call kon's ttk a stupid and useless superpower but twitter user randomdude6875385 you shut the fuck your mouth right now,

#rimi talks #do not take this post seriously i just want to let bart commit cartoonish acts of violence in the online sphere #AND in real life like some wile e coyote and the roadrunner shit #but my god. i need him to ratio people so badly. #and then ofc kon's like awwww were you defending my honor??? awww #and bart is like. no i wasn't. shut up. i don't know what you mean. i'll kill you #(<- said while he's actively in kon's lap btw) #their dynamic is loving bickering while cuddling #well that's one of their dynamics. they contain multitudes. #anyways. bluhghgh. mr electric (impulse)... KILL THEM!!!!!!!! #bart

[dirtytransmasc]

[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]

imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.

she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.

she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.

she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.

they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.

even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.

she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.

she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.

"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.

"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.

he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.

"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."

"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.

"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.

"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.

"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"

"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.

"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."

she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.

she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.

"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."

her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.

the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.

Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.

the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.

so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.

#omage to Aemma's robe that we see alicent wearing in episode 3 (I believe. it was when she was helping bathe viserys) #cause I know he made her wear it cause he's a monster #this is set prior to Helaena's conception. aegon is tiny. and alicent is still naive to the true extents of viserys's abuse. #especially to the fact that despite all of the love she holds for her children and how badly she wishes to always pick them first #his abuse and the stockholm syndrom that follow it will turn her against her children. aegon in particular. #maybe not against. but acrid and foul. her pain overtaking her love. she still tries so hard to protect them though. if you get what I mean #its otto's fault too and they should both die #anyway #I'm just in my feels with these two #we didn't get enough scenes of them together especially when they were both young and I wanted to give alicent a moment were she fought bac #she refused to give him what he wanted. she chose her child over him. she stood up for herself and what she wanted. #she earned that moment #I know she was choking through those “my dears” and “my loves” but she had to for formalities sake #angst in the front fluff in the back #even if the fluff is laced with angst #letting alicent be soft and love her son #I needed it #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #alicent hightower #anti viserys i targaryen #pro team green #hotd #house of the dragon #I love them your honor

[flowercrowngods]

i’ve decided to send an ask for each story you posted in the wip game kdnehdhs who did this to you? lives rent free in my brain 💛💛 (@a-little-unsteddie)

thank you so much 🥰🤍 still slowly working my way through the asks, so have a few more words to make up for the wait 🫶

who did this to you (pt.4) // tales of blue part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | read on ao3 🌷 preceding snippet no 1. | no. 2

Finally, finally, the familiar sound of Wayne‘s old truck rounding the corner into the trailer park interrupts the tense silence that seems to have fallen over all of Forest Hills tonight, and Eddie has half a mind to run out there, run toward them and get the whole story. Just to be sure that everything is fine. Just to be sure that Steve’s still… That he’s still there.

He stays right where he is, though, staring at Buckley‘s wild hair, feeling her shadow walk over him as Wayne pulls up to their driveway and stops. She is right in the centre of the headlights, but still she doesn’t move. Eddie wants to scream at her. Wants to nudge her and shove her out of the way — imagines it, imagines all the alternate universes in which he finds her wide eyes scared and unseeing as Wayne‘s voice sounds behind them, telling them that Steve didn’t make it.

Except in this one, Wayne said they’re coming home. In this one, shit like that doesn’t happen to eighteen year-old boys and their friends.

Aside from that girl. Barbara Holland.

Eddie swallows, his eyes flitting between bright lights to the silhouette of Buckley right in their centre. Like a doe, he thinks. Terrified of what she’ll find.

Don’t you wanna know? Eddie wants to ask her. Don’t you wanna see? What are you afraid of? What did you see? Who is he, Robin, and who are you? Why the fuck won’t you move?

In the end, it is the sound of a car door slamming shut that snaps Buckley out of her stupor, and she all but flies off the steps towards the truck. Towards where Eddie can vaguely make out the shape of a badly bruised face, the play of light and darkness not enough to conceal the deep purple splotches or the sluggishness of his movements as he raises his head. Turning toward Buckley like a flower to the sun.

She presses her hand to the window for a second, just looking at him — and Eddie is glad he can’t see either of their faces. He has a feeling that what he’d see there would haunt him forever.

#steddie fic #steddie #who did this to you #who did this to you part 4 #make me write ask game #i don’t. i don’t know why this is suddenly so dark. but maybe it’s because eddie‘s not important anymore #and he knows. but he wants to crawl his way back to being in the situation just as badly as he wants to run from it #and i think that’s just. scary. petrifying. he doesn’t need to be brave now he doesn’t need to be strong for anyone. #because robin and steve have each other now and he knows snd its fine bc he doesn’t know them yknow but. #i also think eddie just wants to sit on the floor again and not be part of anything. and at the same time take care of these two. #he also wants a hug. needs one. deserves one. and wayne will provide don’t worry. but eddie’s sorta dissociated from the situation now #and that’s the worst thing that can happen to anyone who’s telling a story yknow. well anyway. sorry jfjfjdhdh shutting up now

[sysig]

Utterly Defeated (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #<Sticking to my tag so they're all together ♥ #Dexter Favin #Max Vyer #But really that's ZEX in there! What's left of him anyway ;; #ZEX #Hhhhhhh it was so goooood and saaaaad <3 <3 #Helix is a tragedy - on repeat in my mind ad infinitum #I made most of these upon initially reading - and then I had to sit on them through all of October!! Can you imagine the impatience?? #I've been absolutely chomping at the bit for these hhhhh feelings!!! So many!!! Max's eyes and ZEX being behind his single remaining ;; #Dex wanting him to be safe and knowing he used to and now he can't offer it anymore I jifdsahfdjsaf #Have I mentioned I love them lately I love them <3 <3 All of them! Dex and Max and ZEX! And DAX I'm sure ZEX misses him so badly #In a way it was good that I had a bit more time to set it down and come back - I reread it very recently hehe <3 #I still get teary at some scenes ah </3 It's so beautifully sad #But it also gave me some time to finish ZEX starting to shape the word ''Max'' and then back off it ahhhh it hurts!! #The rest were at least all lined at the time - came back in to tone some recently but they were all ''finished'' October 1st ah #Especially of Dex waking ZEX to call him by his title hhh they both just want peace so badly but it looks so different to both of them #Lingering on his scar and then carding through his hair <3 Comfort and softness and it's all not enough #His scar is quite fun to draw as well ah - scars tend to be like that haha ♪ The stitches and discolouration give it a unique look! #And the way his hair pulls back from it ah #I had a lot of fun with his hair hiding his bandaged eye as well - just barely peeking out always just enough of a reminder #And all his lying-down poses - his hair is fun to pose like that as well #One of the original Landel doodles of ZEX talking about what Hell would look like for a VUX really struck me as well #Dex can't help him in so many ways ehn </3 He wants to! But he wants Max and he just can't have him anymore #Hhhh it was such a good read <3 <3 <3 Thank you again to Zarla it really made and still makes me happy to read it ahhh ♥♪ #Now that I've (finally!) gotten my thoughts out I can read the other!! Yay!!

[p4nishers]

let me just say this: if crowley EVER makes an actual move on aziraphale and aziraphale gives even a HINT of reciprocation it's over for him in SECONDS bc u know aziraphale half asses nothing so it'll be like crowley tries to brush their fingers together and aziraphale fully beams at him and interlocks their fingers in seconds. crowley stares speechlessly at their hands for 5 minutes, looks up at aziraphale and faints. crowley gets aziraphale flowers and aziraphale puts them in the very center of his shop where everyone can see and keeps them alive for months. crowley fights a giggle every time he sees them. crowley offers his jacket on a cold night and aziraphale wears the jacket everywhere for weeks and gushes about it to everyone he meets. crowley chokes on his breath every meeting aziraphale is in it without fail. crowley slyly asks aziraphale on an actual romantic date and aziraphale SLAMS down their wedding invitations infort him of like "im so glad u asked, dear, i've been waiting for this" then launches into a rant about flower arrangements and table cloth colors and crowley is left blinking at him and trying not to explode. poor snake.

#i want yall to know that i spent a full 2 minutes tryna spell reciprocation im not kidding #i dont even know if this actual makes sense bc reading it back makes me wanna kms i articulated this so badly im so sorry #i literally just woke up and the coffees hasn't kicked in yet #anyway what i meant by this is crowley is the biggest simp alive with a weak nervous system when it comes to az and aziraphale is #just like 'marry me already u fucker' everytime crowley is agonizing abt if az loves him like that he puts his hand his hips and gestures #wildly their wedding rings then is like 'oh shit i forgot to give u that' and crowley discorporates #bro im so excited for s2 im shaking out of my skin every single minute km not watching it i cant focus on anything other than these idiots #send help PLEASE #good omens #azicrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens headcanons