#i had them off since May

[memorycollectr]

🎶✨️when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)🎶✨️

1. Bad Example - Takayan

2. Cuando Pase El Temblor - Soda Stereo

3. Bonito - Jarabe de Palo

4. Antihero - Taylor Swift

5. Mal De Amores - Enanitos Verde

#ask #max i had this guys turned off #how the fuck you sent me an ask? #i had them off since May #bro how???? #how are you this powerful #anyways most of my music is in Spanish #because thats my first language #if me posting about Mexico didn't make it obvious

[rox-of-iu]

ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)

is me. so you know what that means.

spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37

there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much

yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat

#liushen #cultivate #cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain #mu qingfang #tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol #and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows #there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end #wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry #anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter #actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before #my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi #so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA #speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but #for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain #and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG #it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole #checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd #so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful #also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao #and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas #if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list #so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi #HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe #so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD #OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE #anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!! #also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

#thats my honest reaction 😐 #to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid #like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat #or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already #good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive #to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil #i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better #but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because #it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak #and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but #come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and #makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality #i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was #IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys' #and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall #AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think #plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS #a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason #im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your #audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small #thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small #its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers #i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang #anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and #rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz #netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub #no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same #ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me #i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing #yapping

[scoliosisgoblin]

doodles and some lore. I'm tired.

#Jay does this thing on second dates where he tests the other person #he wants to make sure they'd like all of him. every part of him that may throw others off or realize he's insane #Matt and Jay were friends during high school. dated in college and broke up just before finding out Jay was pregnant #they decided to co-parent Mona and just view one another as friends #Mona really likes Don and Tk. loves Peter. though dislikes Lucy quite a bit because of how much she hears Jay complain about her with Matt #Mona is very close with Jay despite living with Matt and only coming over to Jay during the holidays/some weekends #Jay moved into the complex about a year prior to meeting Peter. he's had 5 roommates since moving in #Lucy has been the worst compared to the rest but is the only one Jay tolerates (since she's young and reminds him of himself. pretransition #Jay and Don hated each other in the beginning. only really bonded over talking shit about a neighbor #and Jay saying “anyway I gotta finish watching the game.” Don saying how he wanted to too but his tv is fucked so they watch together #Tk does have feelings for Jay but Jay just can't take the hint. he simply just thinks he's making jokes and is very kind #Jay really cares about Lucy. he often checks up on her when she's out and buys her dinner if he didn't make anything for them #and she ofc tries to make his life easier by cleaning the apartment making him coffee in the mornings etc etc #also Jay and Don sometimes just talk about marriage. how both of theirs didn't work out (I headcanon that for Don) #how it'd go - Don: I just wish I showed her how much I cared... Jay: I chased mine down with a knife. didn't kill her though. I promise. #Jay also calls Don's kid (the cop) Don Jr. he doesn't mind it that much. it's mainly cause Jay never remembers his name #my art #yb peter #Yb don #Void #Jay #Yb tk #Yb lucy #none of them die btw. Peter kills some guy who treated Jay poorly #the entirety of Jay and Peter's relationship before the abduction takes place over June #I say so cause it was a bit alarming to Tk. Don and Matt how fast Jay was rushing into the relationship and such #anyway uhh idk what else to say

[good-beanswrites]

🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!

I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.

(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)

Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.

If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...

No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!

Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)

And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅

Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.

(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)

Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.

I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.

I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...

#milgram #as always thank you for sending 🎬!! these are so fun and big brained ough #lol yeah a fun fact about me is im Such a stickler for canon even in aus like this #the pain of writing a mahiru x boyfriend fic and doing the whole thing without ever saying his name 💀 #so i wrote the last chapter of the au as vague as possible so that it had a nice ending but i may go back to make things more accurate when #t3 ends and we (hopefully) find out who es is #i love that this eases some of the pain knowing that es knew exactly what they were getting into :') #and wont be too fucked up upon getting their memories back since they knew it was faked #while also adding extra angst that theyve been there for so long -- theyve spent so much of their childhood within milgram #i was just recently looking at that post about their character locations and had it all marked out on a map #i swear i dont just know that off the top of my head asdfsd #i never realized kazui and kotoko would have outside knowledge >:0 #i really love that concept #between the ten of them they hit so many skill sets -- theyve got the brain and the brawn and the people skills #theyve got intimidation and innocence #theyve got the experience of 40yos and up-to-date kids #theyd be unstoppable -- rip jackalope 😂😂😂 #lights camera sing your sins #ask

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[inkykeiji]

>.<

#tw clari overshares #i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active #but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me #just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning #i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating #i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again #but i’m so so so scared #(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!) #bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!! #what happened to her!!!!! #she got really sick i guess #it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it #i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more #feeding into the fear and letting it win #and now i’m here #in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel #i miss being a part of this community so much #i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect #NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have #i miss having fun #YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity #but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble??? #the only person who can fix this is me #(obviously hahaha) #it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on #i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life #why did i let it take something so fucking important to me??? #i have to end it!!! #if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting #i just feel like i NEED to say this

[bolly--quinn]

... not to be annoying or whatever but I hate the take that Rick loved Diane more than Beth as the reason why we never see another Diane vs living with Beth ... because the love for a significant other and the love for a child is and should be different. The way I see it, obviously Rick loves his Diane and Beth a lot but his relationship to Diane as a husband is a deeply personal one that is specific only to that particular Diane. They have a history: dating, marriage, sharing a child, etc. Rick's feelings to and experiences with that particular Diane wouldn't be the same with any other (even if they share similarities). It's the same reason why he stated that he wouldn't just replace Birdperson ---  they both have specific ties to him that wouldn't be the same as is often true with a love interest (often times shared personal experiences increase those bonds). 

Another Diane could be dead, or remarried, or not into him, or just not the same. A different Diane is not necessarily the same as this Rick's wife.

In contrast, Rick's relationship to his original Beth was still relatively new in comparison to other relationships (i.e. Diane) since she died as a young child. However, (whether she likes it or not) Beth is ALWAYS Rick Sanchez's daughter. Since, their rapport isn't as strong it is easier for Rick to attempt to assimilate into another Beth's life. It is an objective truth that Rick is Beth's father, and thus it is the relationship that is easier to 'replace'. But that doesn't mean that he loves one more than the other as there are incomparable relationships. 

Rick's love for his wife is tied to HIS wife specifically and his love for his daughter is tied to her identity as his daughter which is a constant. Both is equally good and valid.

#rick and morty #rick and morty spoilers #rick sanchez #diane sanchez #beth smith #beth sanchez #i'm sorry i just hate that take so much and i see it all the time both here and on reddit #you shouldn't love your wife more than your kid OR your kid more than your wife #you can love them equally and differently #diane is a soulmate and there's never gonna be another one like her #but beth is a daughter and she's always gonna be rick's kid #like rick can fall in love again (i.e. bp) but beth is still his daughter ??? it shouldn't be that hard to grasp #i just hate the take that you should love your s.o. more than your kid i know it happens sometime but i was raised against it #so it makes my blood boil whenever ppl are like rick loved diane and not beth >:( #he loves both but they have different roles in his life #it's also the reason why the way they've been handling the clone thing is such a good storyline too #both beth and space beth are technically his daughter so that love is equal (despite the fact that he may have a preference) #i'm not in a drawing mood rn since i've been busy with work but i had to get this off my chest

[welcometogrouchland]

Also in the replies of the Steph concept art on twitter announcing she was gonna be in a new project at DC (posted by Travis Mercer), there were at least 3 comments saying "will Tim be there?" I don't care how hard you ship timsteph I'm exploding you with my eyeballs if you do that on my girls post again

#ramblings of a lunatic #taking a step back to acknowledge that my stanning may be getting overzealous #but then again I'm not in ppls quotes or replies I'm vagueing on an entirely different website with no relevant tags. it could be worse #anyway I know tims had it rough these past couple of months ever since zdarsky shifted focus of the batman title to have less tim #but it still feels. idk. just a wee bit uninspired to act like steph can't go two steps without tim being behind her #im ngl i like timsteph when they're cute but timsteph twitter has been. pissing me off a tad lately #the refusal to acknowledge the sexism in dixons robin run and how it impacts stephs writing and their relationships writing #the refusal to acknowledge tims occasional condescension and hypocrisy when it comes to stephs vigilantism #seemingly only wanting her to be spoiler when he wants her around and telling her to give it up most of the time #also the constant disrespect of stephs batgirl era on there weirdly enough? #I've harped on about this on main and in drafts but despite it's flaws it's a good turn for stephs character #she's the focus she gets development (an upward trajectory! which had previously been unheard of for her! bc she did have flaws as spoiler- #-its just that both writers and characters alike seemed to arbitrarily decide she didn't have the capacity to grow past them! but she did!) #hell i saw a BIZARRE take today i just have to bitch about #which was them saying that Batgirl was a ''heteronormative mask'' steph put on #with spoiler being her more authentic self (and this being paralleled to gender expression with stephs isolation from the batfam as spoiler- #-showing how she ''wasnt like them'') #which. I'm not denying you the view that spoiler has a certain genderific swag to her but the needless dragging of her batgirl persona #steph got treated badly as spoiler bc she was A Girl. it's genuinely that simple dixon felt batman and robin would never stand for a girl- #-running around doing the things they did and would need to chivalrously stop her. he's gone on record saying this #she's constantly getting belittled by mostly men (cass also dismisses her but it feels distinctly less gendered) #and in the end it's barbara who learns to give steph a second chance despite her mistakes and they have a positive relationship #something ppl are quick to dismiss as being in and of itself sexist bc they're pairing the two girls off together #as if batgirl isn't a legacy and as if babs and steph don't have parallels in their resilience and refusal to accept when ppl tell them no #for better and for worse!! #like. idk how you took the strongest feminist element in that comic (bc there are elements of sexism here and there! 2009 n all) #and somehow turn it into ''heteronormativity'' YOU PPL ARE JUST SAYING WORDS AT THIS POINT!!! #anyway. someone take away my internet access

[psychiclounge]

so i’ve been learning dromed,

#garrett thief #thief garrett #i LOVE tumblr's tagging and search systems i love them (<- withering) #anyway. this took me literally hours #and that was mostly just on making him do the animation #the custom texture? easy. lighting? easy. decorating the room? easy #the model? thought it would be hard but it was actually easy i just had to put his texture on a servant #THE DANCE? #SIPHONED YEARS OFF OF MY LIFE #do not talk to me about motion databases and aiwatchobj links i may simply cease to be #its also very bright but its bc i pumped up the gamma while recording since i was afraid itd get muddy in the process of making the gif #its a bit brighter than id like but this is better than too dark #and im not recording it again sdlkfsh

[engagemythrusters]

Here's some angst, because sometimes bodies just feel like a mess. plus a bad background xoxo

#NOTES ARE IN THE TAGS LOOK DOWN HERE I was too lazy to put them on the post #cause then I’d have to be coherent and why do that when I could just ramble wordvomit about it instead #ANYWAY... healing isnt linear! #especially since like. lmao he's not done being surgeried xoxo #turns out if a lot of your body is made up of tech. taking said tech out. may shut it down a bit... #anyway so yea that's whats happening. #waking up in the night bc his body is on fire bc sure yeah its healing but theres still screws and bolts in places that hurt. #and he didnt feel so bad before they pulled everything out because things held themselves in place... #but now everything is loose and things need to be replaced ASAP and thats just possible because the body needs time between #exerimental surgeries (who the hell has reversed this bad of techno union augmentation before?) #and... #and sometimes. sometimes fives lives in a world where it feels like he could lose echo again at any moment. and he's so scared #he almost lost everyone and everything and now... he has echo. #he has kix and jesse and tup and dogma... and he has echo. #YEAH okay #And. to make things clear: echo's skin tone IS based off photos of temuera morrison #when he had probably not seen much sun in a while. #AND the white patches are chemical-induced vitiligo (skin pigment cells died) #*BUT* #that being said. i clearly have room to grow in my art and if it's wrong to have portrayed him this way #please let me know. #thanks <3 #saleucami au #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #star wars: the clone wars #star wars #my art #mimse art

[deus-ex-mona]

#im. realising that both lxl and ft4 haven’t had proper mvs since shinjidai lmfaooooo #and no orenashi doesn’t count bc that’s just an aizo solo (*cough* which may or may not be about wanting to domesticate yujiro *cough*) #i miss ft4… their birthday twts barely counts as sustenance yk~~~~~ #hoping that lxl gets new mvs leading up to their album though~~~~~ #but yk… the funniest thing hw could do rn is to drop a song called ‘愛♡勇’ (like their rejected unit name)… #and play it off as a song about them loving their fans till the final chorus hits… #during which it’s suddenly revealed that they’ve been dating each other the entire time as they lean in to kiss as the song abruptly ends #i have an unrealistic vision o k— #i miss mona sm thoughhhhh. cutest angel fr~~~~ #and it’s hard to believe that minami is the one with the most recent mv out of all the performers here #when the chizuutan sweeps so hard she sweeps all the idol series idols under the rug— #minamemes #fedora throttle4

[savage-rhi]

✨️Magenta✨️

#I've been really sad lately #its logical I've had a lot happen and a lot going on #and I've been mostly bedridden the past week cause of fibro flares #my brain can see the logic of why my body feels burnt out and why i feel anxious #but i also have this profound sense of loneliness that's been weighing on my chest #I feel the need to isolate and get away from people because it feels like it doesn't matter how much i try to blend in someone #will catch onto me being an “alien” or not quite fitting their mold or having a difference of opinion and i get bullied or ostracized #out of participating with folks or doing activities #and i get so overwhelmed by people and their literal energy/vibes that it feels as though I'm caught in a sneaker wave and being pulled #from shore and this is compounded on top of that feeling of being surrounded by people like tons of them who may even enjoy your company #but still feel very much isolated and alone the whole time #it could be winter triggering trauma responses in me due to childhood abuse related to the holidays #and then there's me trying to brainstorm how i can make money with my creativity when i have little to no help with anyone #and no one will give me a chance to bounce ideas and get a third persons opinion #its felt like this since i can remember: people value that i listen and reflect all the while show compassion #and then when i really need it myself and attempt to reach out i get the door shut in my face #it feels like the only people that have truly listened to me are therapists lmao and it hurts cause its like i gotta pay someone #just to listen to me go off on this idea i have for a side hustle a creative pursuit something i love #and i can't really share that with anyone irl because I'm supposed to be everyones therapist #and its shitty i dont get paid for it if thats the case lol #i feel like tumblr is the only spot I really have where i can share a lot of myself and make things that make others and myself happy #i don't know what id do without it #magenta is my safe word for venting #thanks for coming to my tedtalk as i write into the void #getting shit off my chest at 4am #i aint gettin no sleep cause of yall yall not gon get no sleep cause of meeee

[aussiearrow]

" You want to talk about how your kingswitch? I'm the king of a generation. So when you go back to New Japan Pro Wrestling and you tangle with the rainmaker you remember that my finger prints are on him. He wouldn't of become what he did unless it was for me. When you go to AEW the company that the young bucks started you remember that my finger prints are on them too. I shaped this industry and my finger prints are on you and you want to talk about how everything in pro wrestling happens because of you. Little brother you happened because of me.”

#honestly ever since this happened it’s been on my mind #And now that people who may not know who MCMG are will be seeing them #And I feel like this is something important to know #I’ve held onto this for far too long so I had to show it off #njpw #kat’s gifs #bullet club #aew #impact wrestling #Alex Shelley #Chris Sabin #MotorCity Machine Guns #motor city machine guns #mcmg #all elite wrestling #new japan pro wrestling

[edelorion]

#edel vents #disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh... #so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!! #today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today #and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go #i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with #aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there #and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to #discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual. #had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore) #so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood. #went home tired. can't really do anything right now. #at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks. #...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone #worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..? #i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed #as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them. #when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness. #to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth #and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her. #she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred #i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many #i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating. #i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin. #i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out. #i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it. #and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved. #i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something. #maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now. #sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much. #but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this. #and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not. #and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine. #but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad. #because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that. #but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent. #and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried. #and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over. #i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.