#i had to look up when milk bottle delivery stopped in england

[badoccultadvice]

So like, I have been having this weird experience analyzing the Harry Potter books lately, and please indulge me while I talk about J.K. Rowling's weird writing.

My goal was simple: read the Harry Potter books to find which parts were influenced/inspired by actual magic that people do in real life. My theory was that there was a lot more magic in the earlier drafts of the books, and that she took a lot out due to fear of backlash from America's ongoing reenactment of the Satanic Panic. For instance it's quite obvious some of their magic lessons got dumbed down so that very little of what's in the books could actually be tried in real life, and I think she took out a lot of astrology.

I also wanted to do a couple errands along the way, one of which was to check and see if it's explicitly written in the books that Harry is a cis man. I'm a trans man, SO I'D KNOW. (I'm a slow reader so all I can say for now is: the FIRST book does not explicitly state Harry is cis, but if he's trans, there's some implied worldbuilding with items like the Sorting Hat that comes into play. Also I'm fairly sure the Dursleys would have gone along with him being trans because that meant Petunia could reuse Dudley's old clothes instead of having to get girl stuff. I'mma save any other explanations on the topic for a video on it.) The reason I'm doing this read-through is because I think J.K. doesn't know anything about trans people and didn't think to make sure her wizard world was trans exclusionary. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT WE TRANS MAGIC USERS HAVE A WAY OF WIGGLING INTO MOST PLACES UNDETECTED BY NORMAL MEANS.

While I was doing the re-read I encountered two sort of broad revelations:

There's a lot of old stuff in there like Latin and Greek and tradcraft stuff, but also modern magic of the more recent era... but the incorporation of modern magic cuts off somewhere before the 80s. These books read like they were written by a early 70s magician. Like they honestly read like J.K. is a magical practicioner who just didn't read any magic books written after 1972 and never discovered what Chaos Magic is, (and also, never heard of most of what happened in the Cold War). I have never found a writer, in fiction or non-fiction, more dedicated to referencing magical stuff that most magicians alive today just don't care about anymore.

J.K. Rowling's knowledge of child abuse laws and general social mores regarding treatment of children also ceased to update itself by about the 80s. I keep getting distracted by this and having to make more side-notes about corporal punishment and researching stuff like when caning was banned in England. (HInt: it was banned before Harry went to school, so in Book 1 it's fuckin weird that he assumes that Wood is the name of a cane he's about to be whipped with.) Like, this woman raised children in the modern era, she should know when canes stopped being used.

So like, when I mention that I'm doing some research in this area, this is the sort of stuff I'm reading for and the sort of stuff I'm encountering. I haven't been talking much about this journey because it seems like any time anyone brings up anything Harry Potter up whatsoever, we've got to talk about how J.K. is a terf in every other sentence. But like, y'all: I hope you slow down and re-read the books, because J.K. Rowling is a terf who is also a child abuse apologist and normalizer. She is a terf who is also a horrible fat-shamer. She is a terf who is also an ableist with a huge problem writing about mental illness. And she's a terf who's also a sexist who undermines feminism with her actual writing of female characters.

And I honestly think she double and triples down on the terf stuff so that people will only talk about that. I think it's worth talking about the fact that not only is she an awful person in the terf way, but like, every other way imaginable too. I think it's worth talking about the fact that with all the obvious biases she has, the group she CHOOSES to publicly marginaiize is trans women, and I think she makes that choice because she thinks that she'll get more allies that way. That if she wore all of her issues on her sleeve like she wears the terfness, that she'd lose a lot of allies, that a lot of prestigious charities would stop having anything to do with her. That she uses the identity of "terf" as a shield because she knows that certain people will protect a terf, and she does this specifically so people won't notice how much of a sexist, abuse apologist, ableist, fatphobe etc she ALSO is. Opinions that could lose her a lot of money and clout if people remember them enough.

She's trying to pick on who she thinks is the most unpopular kid in the class out of the hopes that the bullies in class will be her friends instead of pile up on her, but if the bullies knew what she really thought of them, THEY wouldn't even be her friends.

Also like... I just want someone else to read the actual words in these books and see what fucked-up choices she made as a writer. I think a LOT of people remembering these books are actually remembering the movies, which are way more different from the books than you might expect.

#this got long and rambly #every time i try to read the books i find a new thing that is weird #i had to look up when milk bottle delivery stopped in england #i know so many things about knickerbockers now #it seems like the only reason platform 9 3/4 is used is for the parking and that's so weird #why would you name something futuristic a 2000 when that's only 9 years from when the first book is set #who leaves a one year old on a doorstep #how come the dursleys are so affluent to have late-era milk bottle delivery at the doorstep #yet no 4AM joggers in the neighborhood who would have seen Harry before Petunia did #these books are an assault upon all logic and I am mad and angry that there is a theme park based on them that fails the ADA #you're telling me wizards can hide an entire castle yet they can't add a ramp to a shop's doorway #oh gods i'm never going to stop get me out of these tags I need a snack and a hug

[spectorbarnes]

If You Leave Me Now | Part 11

Summary: You realized your marriage with your husband Henry had run its course when you discovered his affair. You wanted to leave him but not without giving Henry a little taste of his own medicine involving his preferred mechanic Sebastian.

Pairings: mechanic!sebastian stan x reader, husband!henry cavill x reader

masterlist

A/N: I FINALLY UPDATED THIS! I know. Thank you all for being so patient, I love you all!

The sun shined on a new day that started with the Cavill family throwing a cook-out party. Henry’s siblings bonded over a playful game of rugby in the back yard with the kids running around their fathers and uncles trying to play. You could see the game from the kitchen where you helped out your lovely mother-in-law with a traditional Trifle. 

Outside Henry crouched to meet his younger nephew at eye level and grinned before he playfully attacked him with tickles until he released his grip on the ball.

“Could you please pass the berries, hon?” Henry’s mother asked you. Startled, you reached for the bowl and handed it over. 

“Of course,” you smiled. You continued to slice strawberries, occasionally returning your gaze at Henry. 

“He’s a natural father isn’t he?” 

“What?” You asked, caught by surprise. Henry’s mother gave you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, darling. Henry told me you two are trying to have a child.”

“We are,” you did your best to fake a smile. She wrapped her arms around you.

“You’re going to be great parents!” She squeezed you tightly. You felt her small arms around you. Her reaction might have been a little overboard, it was almost as if you told her you were pregnant. Which made you scan the room to see if anyone was nearby.

Henry walked in the kitchen with his niece in his arms and his nephew trailing behind. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of you and his mother embracing in the middle of the kitchen. 

You shook your head at him and mouthed, “We’re fine”.

“Uncle Henry! Pick me up too!” The small child tugged on the bottom of his shirt.

His mother pulled away from you, realizing Henry was in the room. She held her hand out, signaling him to join you. 

Henry swooped him up with his free arm and walked over to join you both. You took your niece from his arms to ease up the load. 

“Mom,” Henry wrapped his arm around her. You turned to see Henry’s mom wiping tears from her face. 

“I’m just so happy you two found each other.” She sniffed.

You exchanged a glance with Henry. In the moment you looked into Henry’s eyes, you couldn’t understand why you felt so comfortable like home. 

It was like meeting Henry for the first time a few years ago. You didn’t want to open up your heart to another man after the last one had ripped it to pieces. But Henry was there, waiting for you to let him in. To let him love you the way you deserved. 

If someone had told you, you would marry the man 

It all felt natural. 

But of course, you were falling in love with Henry all over again. 

━━━━━━━━

It was early morning, after a typical Saturday night of Chris and a few old college friends who bar hopped around the city for a few good laughs and drinks. 

This time, however, Chris wasn’t laughing and was completely sober.

There were a few times in the past when he invited his roommate to join him and his buddies. Of course it wasn’t his roommate’s ideal night. He preferred working extra hours or ordering delivery at home, but being the responsible roommate and friend he was, he also preferred being the designated driver of a couple drunken Bostonians. 

Tonight the roles changed. Sebastian was the one drinking the night away. Chris’ friends had never seen this side of Sebastian, and neither did Chris, but the last couple of days, Sebastian drank alcohol as if it were warm milk. 

Chris knew what the reason was behind the drinking. Correction, he knew who was the reason.

“Another round!” Sebastian slammed the empty bottle on the edge of the pool table. Chris’s friends cheered.

Chris hated his friends for encouraging the behavior as much as he hated Sebastian accepting their invitation. 

Initially, Chris turned his friends down, thinking Sebastian would not dare to join them without their mutual friend. But after Chris saw Sebastian grab his jacket and wallet, Chris knew he had to join and keep an eye on him. 

Sebastian didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts because he would think of you. And when he thought of you he knew you were in England with Henry doing what wife and husband do.

Alcohol numbed his body and his mind. He didn’t want to be thinking about Henry’s hands on you, touching you, pleasing you in ways that couldn’t compare to him. 

To Sebastian, letting you in his life might have been a big mistake, but it was a glorious mistake. There would be nights where he would make you his but you could never really be his.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Chris grabbed the beer bottle Sebastian had in his hand and took it from him before he took another sip. “I’m taking you home.”

“I’m fine here. You can leave, you’re killing the mood anyways.” Sebastian struggled to move his lips.

“Look at yourself, you’re slurring your words and you can’t even stand up,” Chris said. Sebastian looked down, realizing he had been leaning his whole body against the pool table.

“We’re getting the fuck out of here, now.” Chris signaled his friends from across the room. He then grabbed Sebastian’s arm and put it around his neck, carrying him out of the bar.

Chris reached his car, sat him down on the passenger seat and buckled him in before walking around and getting in the driver’s seat.

He had to figure out a way to save his friend, figure out a way to have him get over you and move on with his life.

Chris turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared. Sebastian looked over at Chris’s worried face as his eyelids fluttered. He needed to say something before he could no longer keep his eyes from closing.

“Chris, I’m sorry.’” He muttered.

“I’m sorry too, Seb.”

━━━━━━━━

You entered the walk-in the closet, stripping out of your day clothes and changing into your silk pajamas for the night. 

Henry was shirtless, tucked in bed watching you change from the half-open door. You walked out of the closet, catching his stare.

“You know, today reminded me of the first time I brought you home to meet them,” Henry said. 

“How so?” You asked, walking around the bed to reach your side.

“My mom loved you before you even met her. She had a good feeling about you and you were both really close when you met. Your friendship felt natural.” He said. You gave Henry a smile. “But, you were just as nervous as that first time. Why?”

He was right. Henry could read you like a book, he might be wrong at times but you were just as nervous visiting his family as the first time.

“All this baby talk has been getting to my head.” You lied, climbing in the bed. 

Your thoughts revolved around Sebastian ignoring your phone calls throughout most of the Europe trip. Seeing Henry’s family reminded you of what you did, of course your husband was no victim because he too cheated on you. However, you felt your guilt weigh more than Henry’s did.

“They would be more than happy to be grandparents again,” Henry responded. “Especially from me, since I am my mother’s favorite.” He joked.

Henry rolled over to his side, bending his arm to hold his head up. You waited for him to say something. There were a few silent moments in between your gazes before he called you by your full name. 

“Yes?” You muttered. He lifted the bed covers from your bodies before rolling over you, spreading your legs apart to fit between them and press his upper torso against your stomach.

He continued to speak while looking into your eyes.

The first words were strange yet familiar, your eyebrows furrowed until you realized he was reciting his written wedding vows.

“What are you-?” You pondered, Henry interrupted with something you never thought you would hear.

“I’m sorry,” He said. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done.” Your eyes widened, realizing Henry might be coming clean.

“What have you done?” You asked. 

“I’ve hurt you,” He started. “I’ve been distant, focusing more on work rather than focusing on you, my wife.”

“And?” You asked, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m sorry.” Henry said. You closed your eyes in defeat. “This trip is a clean slate,” he continued, “I’m going to be the husband you deserve from now on. The husband I should have been for a while now. Every mistake I’ve made is done with.”

You opened your eyes to see him and his serious facial expression.

Of course, Henry was talking about his affair. He just couldn’t come clean and say it out loud. He didn’t think you knew about it, and he didn’t want you to find out because once you did he knew he would lose you. But he was serious about it. He didn’t want anything to do with his now ex-lover. 

You thought he meant the affair, but it was hard to tell. Henry was a businessman, of course he knew how to deal with people without fully telling the truth but not lying about it either. 

“It’s a clean slate for both of us, any mistakes you might have made are included too.”

Your heart stopped. Did he know about Sebastian?

Henry pressed his lips against yours, giving you a soft, tender kiss. His mouth traveled along your jaw and down the valley of your chest. His hands grabbing your silk gown before pushing it up your body. 

“Henry,” You had to get clarification.

“Shh.” He continued to kiss your body, touching your breasts as he traveled further down your body. His fingers found your silk shorts, shoving them down your pants before teasing your center through your panties.

Your hips jolted, getting closer to his touch. You felt his lips form into a grin on your navel as he lightly grazed his teeth against your skin.

He pushed your panties to the side and inserted a finger, pumping it in and out of you. You slid down the pile of pillows behind you and arched your back when he added a second finger. 

You couldn’t believe you wanted him and you wanted him badly. Words of encouragement slipped out of his lips, making you bite your bottom lip in order to stop sounds from escaping you.

“Don’t hold back,” he ordered. “We’re the only ones in this house and the nearest neighbors are kilometres away.”

You let a moan of pleasure escape you, followed by an even louder one when Henry’s member entered you. He slowly pumped in and out of you, you preferred a quicker pace but Henry insisted it felt better when you got to enjoy every inch. Your nails scratched his back as you begged him not to stop. 

Henry looked down at your blissed face, remembering how similar your current reaction was on your first night. Henry was your first. He remembered how he found your innocence endearing. 

You placed his hands on his chest, nudging him you were close, he leaned down to whisper in your ear and with one, four-letter word you were gone.

Henry wasn’t far behind, filling you up as you came down from your high. His body fell, exhausted from keeping himself from ramming into you.

If this worked out, he would want to remember the night he conceived his child as a slow night of love making instead of ravenous sex. He pulled out of you, wrapping his arms around you and pulled you against his chest.

The last thing you heard before falling into sleep was Henry muttering how much he loved you. You tried to mutter it back, although he didn’t hear it completely, he knew what you meant. He spent the next few hours watching you sleep. Which was later interrupted by your phone ringing in the morning. Chris’s name popped up on the screen. 

Henry picked up the phone, squinting at the name on the screen. He couldn’t remember a Chris from anywhere. He declined the phone call sending it to voice mail, then deleting the incoming call from the call history.

“Clean slate,” He muttered to himself, “Clean slate.”

#sebastian stan #henry cavill #sebastian stan x reader #henry cavill x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #sugardaddysebby #i'll post the tag list later #its 5 am i stayed up all night finishing this

[a-gert-lush-holiday]

Day 1 continued, and Day 2

I eventually woke Lucy up at 7pm and advised her that we had two options. 1, she could go back to sleep, however we would be unable to pick up the tickets needed for the Final Fantasy Eorzea Cafe as they had to be collected today, and we would lose the reservation. Or option 2, which was go to Lawson, pick up the tickets and food, come back, eat and sleep.

Needless to say we went for option 2. I cannot tell you how much of a faff getting tickets to Eorzea Cafe has been. I tried to pre-book a few weeks ago, but for holding a reservation for more than 3 days, you need to pay upfront with a credit card. Let me tell you now, upon research online and trying it myself, it seems the only card that will work is AMEX as it can’t be linked to a foreign country. Therefore, I had to hope that 3 days before our trip there were spaces left, go through the booking site in Japanese, and then use the Loppi machine at Lawson also in Japanese. I lucked out on a space near the end of our trip, but trying to find out where to pay for the tickets was even more of a faff.

Sure, I know they’re collected at a Loppi machine in Lawsons, but did you know there are multiple types of Lawson combini in Japan? I was about to say 2, but having just googled it to find out why, apparently it’s 4. 4 shops, same name, different focuses and slightly different products. There’s a Lawson 100 (or as the clerk put it, Green Lawson), and then there’s normal Lawson (Pink and Blue Lawson). And no, Google will not tell you which is which (otherwise I really wouldn’t mind, as it didn’t for us) as it just calls all of the combini Lawson. We had so much trouble, that honestly I would check where the Lawsons are in relation to you, and then use street view to determine whether it had a pink and blue striped sign or not.

Once I had found the right type of Lawson, operating the Loppi machine was fairly straightforward as I had read a few walkthroughs beforehand, and seemed to remember most of the instructions.

Essentially, when you make a reservation you receive a QR code by email. On the machine, you want to hit the middle button with ‘Loppi QR’ on it, scan the QR code, and then it will ask you for the phone number used when making the booking.

What you need to remember then is to basically press the orange button (yes/continue), apart from on the screen where you’re asked about Ponta cards (hit the grey button). You then get to inputting your name, which looks confusing with all the buttons and no English language button, but you can input the name in the Roman alphabet by pressing the third button down in the list to the right of the characters. Input the first name, press the second button in the list for a space, enter last name, then hit orange ok buttons to confirm until the machine spits out a receipt at you.

I’d love to say that’s the whole process, but no. Almost there though. Take the receipt to the counter within 30 minutes (you can pay for shopping at the same time too), pay, sign the receipt as prompted, and the Pink and Blue clerk will kindly hand you the tickets.

Gotta love that bureaucracy! I’m sure there are things at home just as convoluted, but honestly if Lucy hadn’t been bugging me about this for weeks and I myself getting into the game in the past month or so, I probably would have stopped somewhere around my card not working online.

If you’d like to know how to make the reservation, my recommendation would be to follow this excellent guide: https://riikorinkoko.wordpress.com/2017/05/15/riikos-eorzea-cafe-reservation-guide-and-how-to-use-s-loppi-machines-at-lawson-ffxiv-final-fantasy-xiv/amp/

Only addition to this would be to open the page in Chrome if possible, so it can be automatically translated.

Back at the hotel, we ate the snacks we’d purchased, called home (or tried to, in any case), before finally heading off to bed.

I woke up again at 9am on our first full day, after setting my alarm. I spent an hour checking things like emails and trying to trace our bags, of which there was currently no news, before I woke Lucy up. Over the next hour or so we got ready as best we could with a mishmash of clothes, no makeup, and no deodorant (as that’s...kind of not a thing here due to Asian genetics?), before heading out the door around 11:15.

On our way along to Kaminarimon Gate and Asakusa shrine and temple we spotted a shop that essentially was a bit like a Superdrug back home, where Lucy managed to find some basic makeup.

I really enjoyed walking round the shrine and temple; despite the insane amount of people in places the atmosphere was very serene. We both pulled a fortune, and as per usual with me, I get bad luck xD As is traditional, I tied it on the special rack and hopefully that means our bags won’t get even more delayed >.<

We also both got these wooden sticks you write your name and date of birth on which have a wish, and somehow this is supposed to bring you closer to that wish? Nothing particularly special for this, get wooden stick, write on stick, hand back stick to guy you just brought from, done. I mean, when in Rome, but somehow I feel like I just got conned into paying 200 yen to scribble on a stick.

We both picked up a drink at this point from one of the vending machines as the weather had heated up considerably, and then headed to the incense counter where you can buy incense, light it, and then waft it on yourself before putting it in the big burner so that it can be shared with others wafting the incense onto themselves. Wafting incense is believed to cleanse you.

After this we wandered round the local shopping streets and found a nice cafe for lunch. Lucy went for a cola and sandwich toastie with pizza filling; I went for a melon soda float, and spaghetti neapolitan. Both of us enjoyed the food; the soda float was the perfect thing after being in the heat.

After lunch, we headed out to the Tokyo Skytree for our prebooked tickets. We were also fortunate that prebooking allowed us to jump the long queue for the elevator and zoom right to the 350m deck to enjoy the sights of Tokyo from above. However somewhere along our travels the weather turned overcast, and therefore whilst still a decent view of Tokyo, we were unable to see Fuji-san at this point. As we also had galleria tickets, we then went up again to 450m, which again was very impressive. They also had a a barbie exhibition for some reason up at this level and a little pop up barbie themed shop. A browse around later and we both ended up buying a compact mirror each with a pretty illustration on the front.

On the way back down, we went in the main Skytree gift shop where I got a fridge magnet with a stained glass effect for our fridge back home :) At this point, we felt kind of done with crowds and queues, so it was back on the subway to the hotel for us. Unfortunately, our luggage had still not arrived >.< I had received a message earlier in the day advising me that the bags had arrived at the airport, and that they would therefore be passed to the delivery company.

I had to take a break at this point as not long after we got back to the hotel I developed a thumping headache, for which I honestly have to praise past me, who usually forgets everything but her electronics, for packing paracetamol in the hand luggage. I took one of these and lay down for a bit, and by around 7pm this had died down considerably.

At this point I decided to get a drink, so I hit up the 12th floor as the details we were given stated there is a vending machine up there; there very well might be. However, the 12th floor turned out to be the roof, and as it was raining considerably we went down to the ground floor where another one was supposedly located. And there was, only it was outside the back of the hotel, in the street past the parking lot, after going down a flight of stairs 😣 The only upside of this is that I ended up teaching the front desk clerk who helped us the words ‘vending machine’ as he did not know the phrase in English.

At this point we also needed food, so we went back upstairs to grab our coats before making a mad dash across the road to Family Mart. I have to say, combini food in Japan is honestly as amazing as everyone makes out.

In England you go to the ‘to go’ section of ASDA and maybe get a mayonnaise sandwich with a small bit of ham on soggy bread if you’re lucky. Here, you can go to the corner shop, get a meal made with fresh ingredients, have it heated up for you, and then if you really want you can eat it at the counter provided. Buy a pot noodle and want it now? Use the hot water machine to soak your noodles. Not about that life? Have freshly baked proper pastries, or warm chicken instead.

I would go on, but I’m too busy thinking about the hot royal milk tea I had out of a bottle, which was perfect in the drizzle this evening on the way home, the bacon wrapped onigiri, and caramel pudding parfait I had for dinner. And of course, I brought a few packets of kitkats to take home too whilst I was at it.

The rest of the evening was spent resting, as we needed to be up early the next day for our Mt. Fuji trip.

#japan #japan travel #japan trip report