#i hate my job for not paying me well enough

[elegyofthemoon]

ahh i'm,,, so happy that i got some job offers already !! ;; v ;; theres two currently and im waiting to hear from one place and then theres one more interview tomorrow (which. i really dont wanna do), but i'm really happy that two worked out!! i just... wouldnt know what to decide on😔

#avil speaks #i needed to clear out my emails and saw the offers in there and i was like :o oh shit good job me AKDSJAFLKH #tbh if i did the job interview tomorrow and got it id probably hate myself more asdkljfahldkjh #(its medical and im trying So hard to avoid any medical work anymore bc ive had Enough) #the awful thing is that they all pay the same anyhow so im like well. i wouldnt be losing anything lmao #im entering my clown era and just doing Fuck All

[https-chaos]

Oh my god you guys I got a promotion!!! From call center rep to team lead!!! It's gonna come with a decent raise, I still get to report to my awesome manager, and my job will totally change! I will also get to bridge a gap the team has been struggling with for a couple years so that's awesome too. It's gonna be a lot more work and probably more annoying hours but I talked to the team leads in other departments and they really like their responsibilities so I should be fine. I'm excited and proud of myself but also nervous! I'm really good at my current job and I'm going to be giving up all my current duties, and that includes several services and projects I've been running by myself for almost two years. Which means I have to deconstruct my process, write documentation and work instructions, and train several people to replace me. Plus I don't know if I'm going to be good at the new job, I've never done anything like it except I guess when I was a keyholder at sport clips. But this is more like an assistant manager position tbh.

#please clap #my company is in an unending state of chaos with a permanently fully remote workforce and messy management and horrible communication #between departments #the entire customer service team is barely 3 years old #do I love my job? no. does the company give a shit about me? no. they'd have to hire several people to replace me but that's because I'm #a pushover. #HOWEVER #I firmly believe that you don't have to completely love your job. just find one that's tolerable and pays just enough and live your life #and I don't hate this job. it can be stressful and annoying but I make way over the industry standard for my position #(not that it's enough. it's not. but you know what I mean) #capitalism sucks but we all gotta live until it collapses so you might as well have fun

[devilsskettle]

i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

#stop it...... #i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take #i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in....... #ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday #each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy #selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need #standing all day long just fucking bored #hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in #ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day #when nothing new ever happens #and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either #i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling #and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me #i walk there i stand all day and i walk home #that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like. #i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in #if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy #but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot #idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do #there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits #and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future #so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless. #sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol #all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that

[scoreplings]

dropping out of college for the second time. i think after this i need to get a hands-on job that doesn't require a degree but is in my field. cuz a lot of those will pay you to go to school. and ive always stayed on top of it when somebody else's money was on the line (dumb)

#i want to scream and cry and throw up i am TWENTY.... augh. #talked abt it with my boy last night tho and he helped a lot #i was so scared. cuz ive never had a friend or anyone im close with be like... supportive abt it. #obvs he wasnt like 'yeah drop out of school thats awesome' #but he wasnt mad at me at all and didnt lecture me or look disappointed #and he hugged me and he said he was sorry because he promised to help and didnt ;-; #i wasnt even thinking abt that. its my job to make sure im on top of that not his. #but ik i need support with that. and it felt so nice to have someone acknowledge that and say they should have given it to me. augghhh. #hes so good to me its crazy. anyway. #next fall. i will attempt again. the goal is to take 1 class i am interested in and 1 i actually Need. #instead of two i need but hate. #and he is going to help me with it #Well thats sort of plan b. i am also applying to any jobs i can find that are in my field and pay enough for me to live off

[emodennis]

why did i decide to take a job at an extremely active and sport-focused camp this summer.

#well on the bright side i got my legal name changed to phoenix on the staff portal #but training starts tomorrow #and im gonna be the bitch that's slower and less fit than everyone else #like i genuinely do not see a scenario where that doesn't happen #i'm either gonna have to push my body beyond what its capable of doing comfortably #or ask for breaks #i hate the society we live in #where i internalized that asking for breaks is weak and embarassing #but to answer my own question. it's because the pay is so much better than the other camp jobs i was applying to lmaooo #i mean i'm sure i'll get more fit as the summer goes on #but being behind everyone else in the beginning is gonna be so stressful #i tried so hard to exercise more this month. but i don't think i did it more than 3 times a week #which i don't think was enough #but hopefully it will be something #i also hate the sun and bugs. #WHY AM I DOING THIS KASJHDAKSHD #i don't even know if i like working with kids :''') #i hate new situations where i have no idea what to expect #i did as much research as i could but the autism can't handle the things i can't know or prepare for #idk what i need rn. everyone's who's told me that its gonna be fun or a good time or whatever has not helped #and anyone who's validated me and said that it sounds stressful hasn't helped either #so i will take your likes on this post as a little kiss on the cheek <3 #that's all i need #phoenix talks

[orcelito]

If I scrape my brain out of my body and put it in a robot maybe then I would be less tired

#speculation nation #negative/ #im being a diligent little assistant manager. like a well behaved fucking dog. #since me working hard but being relaxed in a few areas was reason enough to scare the shit out of me #and then force me to publicly humiliate myself #but im a good little assistant manager. look at me bark and jump through hoops! #no i wont sit because you want me to stand Always and no i wont be on my phone at all Ever #even as my ankle is radiating pain i will stay on my feet because im a Good little assistant manager! watch me do my tricks! #please dont take my raise away from me! #i hate my fucking self and i hate my fucking life and im so FUCKING tired of everything #id almost consider just fucking leaving but nowhere else would pay me this good & give me this kind of flexibility. #job security is a powerful drug. #i just. have lingering humiliation even just Being here #messaging anyone. Anything related to work. #my shift is over but i still have to finish the nut tarts and the inventory and my meeting notes for the meeting tonight #because im a Good little assistant manager! watch me bark! watch me break my back and my ankle for you! arf arf! #someone just put me out of my fucking misery

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Starting a new job! At my current job. But hopefully this'll make it so I can afford to only need this job.

#so i work at an axe throwing bar #im the concierge. i take groups and assign them to axe pros and provide info to any curious people walking in and etc #its a good time #but its only 18-30 hours a week #not super consistent and not super maintainable if i want to pay my rent #i like being able to pay my rent #an axe pro just peft and we're looking for a new one #i asked my manager if i could do it and she said yeah #my understanding is that ill be concierge and axe pro #and hopefully thatll result in more hours!! #indeed is hell. if i never go on that site again itll be too soon #i hate job hunting #its so degrading #'beg to work at our company. you didnt beg well enough. youll never hear from us again' #so hopefully this works out! i have a coffee addiction that i need to feed #and a puppy and two rats to provide for #and rent. fuck rent and fuck my landlord #wish me luck with this paycheck shit!

[aberooski]

I honestly wish my birthday wasn't in 2 weeks. I always get really depressed around my birthday.

#october 23rd everybody mark your calendars! #it's a monday and I have sweeney todd rehearsal that night so I probably won't even get to have my birthday on my birthday #I'm gonna be 24 years old it really shouldn't matter so much to me anymore but it does #but I'm not a kid anymore. my birthday isn't special to anyone but me anymore. to everyone else it's just another day. #well it's all I've got it's the only time I ever feel seen and like people care enough to pay even the slightest attention to me #i just recently realized that receiving gifts is a love language for me too and i honestly hate that i feel like such an asshole #it feels worse because I haven't been able to get even a shitty job since i graduated college and my family is fucking broke too #so when my sister said she already had my birthday present my mom just jokingly says 'at least someone's getting you something' ! #i seriously almost started crying when she said that. i did not find that funny at all. she said the exact same thing about christmas #which i feel the same way about. I've just been having a horrible last like 2 years and now it's almost my birthday again and I'm still #exactly where I was last year. I'm trying so hard and I just can't make any progress. #I'm stuck and it just feels like there's nothing I can do about it at this point. #anyway sorry to be such a downer I'm gonna at least try to go to sleep #abby's self deprication hour #abby's insomia thoughts

[guinevereslancelot]

lazy girlies help me out: what is the easiest job you've ever had that one could get with an associate's or less

#all the jobs are like sales associate /plant waterer i dont even need a relevant degree for that #and i want a job thats not physically demanding if possible bc my side job is farming which is hard lol #im accepting tho that i need to look beyond horticulture for a job bc the one i wanted never got back to me and idk what else to do #im looking at receptionist jobs bc a lot of them just want a high school education but idk #i can mask well enough to seem like a people person but idk abt the organization and multitasking stuff #anyway suggestions welcome what is the easiest job #it doesn't need to pay a lot i just need some kind of income that wont drain my life force if possible #i found an assistant pre-school teacher position i could def do if i renew my cpr license #but im not sure i have the energy to work with kids full time #context if it helps: i am autistic and have chronic pain also i really am just lazy and dumb #so i need an easy job idc if it's boring as long as i dont need to be good at math #indeed is recommending me nuclear sub technician jobs i need real suggestions #i have experience with kids and gardening but both of those are physically demanding so i would love to not do that #my computer skills are nonexistent compared to other young people but old people think im good at it #i hate math tho

[h3rmitsunited]

I was going back through my old school stuff from like 1st grade and there was this like journal where we had to write like a couple sentences each day to practice writing and stuff and i had this one day where part of what I wrote was "I hate myself today because I had to change my card to yellow" (the cards were like discipline things so you started with green and if you weren't being good you had to stand up and go to the front of the class to change your card) and I don't remember what it was for but I'm sure I was just like maybe talking or something like that.

But like damn. Even just thinking about the times I had to change my cards in those classes makes me want to cry. I remember always being so upset anytime the teachers weren't happy with me and then I think about me now and how I'm always expecting people to think the worst of me or be hiding that they don't like me or always expecting the other shoe to drop even if they've been telling me I'm doing a good job because I'm bad and I need them to just tell me why and what exactly they're holding back

And I've got a review coming up at work soon with my bosses since it's almost my 6 year anniversary of working there and all I can think is oh good now they can stop telling me how great I am and how happy they are to have me there and just tell me everything I'm doing wrong because I know the compliments aren't right and they have to have been holding back what all my issues are.

And I think something in my upbringing may have kind of fucked my head up... just a little bit

#peeerrhaps i should start looking at therapists again to work on some isssssuuuueeesss.... #the last one was not that helpful but she was the first person i looked at and tried and she did well enough #just didnt really get deep into anything under the surface #i literally cant take compliments. like idk if its like a youre supposed to be humble so dont let it go to your head thats turned into #dont internalize any praise ever but if anyone ever complains about you then its real and you should internalize it times a thousand #or maybe its just a i kinda hate myself and dont feel like i deserve good things or anything ever #i think some of it is im ashamed about my stupid inability to get to work on time. like if i force it and work myself up #maybe i can be on time like a few days in a row #but the momentum drops so fucking fast and then im back to well im here before we open even if i was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago #but also like i get there before stuff is going on and like its not that late and i havent mentioned the issue because #i feel like if i did theyd say oh well then just get here at the later time youve been arriving close to its fine #but then stupid brain will go okay so this is the new time which means that im going to shift to arriving even later #so i just have to keep relying on the shame and guilt and panic to get me there in the mornings #which is not fun #i just hope the review goes well other than my bad time management #i feel like it will... hopefully. theyve talked about possibly 'promoting me' which would be me doing the same stuff ive been doing #basically but then id just have the title (and pay 🤞) to go along with that #i dont want to get my hopes up but we'll see what happens #im going to like try super hard to get to work on time until the review though and like after but still #come on clarissa do a good job

[aroace-polyshow]

i wanna do art as a career so badly cause it’s the only option that would be even remotely fulfilling but i really. really doubt that’s gonna happen and i really doubt i can do it so now i have to scramble to find some other career that won’t make me want to die

#marlo’s stuff #something art related is like. the only thing i can see myself devoted to #but i’m not good enough for it lmao #i’m so painfully average #i’m smart and i know i’m smart and i know i could get a well paying job that has something to do with math or whatever #but i. literally cannot look forward to a future like that. it sounds so awful and boring because i hate math and all that shit #and i’m supposed to do that for 90% of my life??? #i really don’t know what else i could do that would pay me yknow a living wage but also doesn’t make me want to die everyday #i don’t want a job i hate #but i feel like thats what i’m gonna end up with #lmao #anyway

[be-good-to-bugs]

AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day

#the bin #i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it #im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all #the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread #im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then #i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant #because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant. #literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi #its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast. #well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least. #there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for #moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently #i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone #hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man #technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that #then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that #hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much #gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too #honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work #whatever. it doenst matter. #i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that #it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long #not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it. #im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even #i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(

[holyviolence]

crazy how my dad is critical of literally everything i doooo :)

#i told him i applied for the SAVE plan for student loans which brings my monthly payments down by $200 dollars and he was like 'so you're #gonna be paying off your loans for the next forty years. nice' and i guess he just doesn't understand it!?? but that's literally not what im #doing. and i said Well i can't afford spending $300 a month on loans right now. and somehow that still wasn't enough to convince him????? #even though when i told him i got a job he said i'll need to get another because 'you're gonna run out of money soon' like GOD he can never #be satisfied with anything i do! i moved to an apartment and he just criticized the dirtiness and the area im in which has a 'concerningly #high crime rate' and 'that ep loans why the rent is so low....' #*explains #i just don't fucking get it. like i am just doing things that i think are best for me in my current situation and frankly i don't have many #options rn and he's sooo critical and it doesn't help anything. the only times he has not been critical are when i do exactly what he wants #me to do which historically has made me fucking MISERABLE and even then he would tell me how to do better #trying 2 be independent and faced with only criticism is so hurtful and disheartening and i hate it!!!!!! #anyway. im fine im just venting.

[violetclarity]

I hate job hunting (:

#it has reached the point again where I've started wondering how hard it would be to make a living on onlyfans #or where I contemplate if I have the gumption to try and freelance/start my own business #(the problem there is that I don't really have savings and it's just me) #(there isn't a partner to mostly support us financially while I get it off the ground) #(and tbh I just don't really want to decrease my current quality of living for something like that) #the last time I got here I did end up finding my current job but that turned out to suck soooo #the problem is that I just don't want to work? well. I don't want to work a job that is super intense/time consuming #but the kinds of jobs I might not hate as much won't pay me enough to live off of soooo #thinking of starting an essay blog type thing would anyone read my thoughts about things?

[giftedpoison]

Just realized the reason i’ve been spending so much time outside of my room even if it’s to just sit in the backseat of my car for a few hours. is literally because being in my room, at my grandparents house that i swore i wouldn’t still be living in two years later, makes me feel like a fucking failure.

#which dumb #because i have a good job although i hate it #and i have everything go for me except the fact no one will accept me for an apartment #despite the fact I have an impressive credit score #i still have gotten asked to get a cosigner because my income requirements don't match #because 17.50 an hour apparently is not enough to live on your own in a nonmajor city #not to mention i can't get a different job that pays well #because all i get is youre impressive but no #or i fail the interviewe because i suck at interviews

[tiredsadpeach]

Hahaha heyyyy (I almost unalived myself today)

#tw suicide #tw suicide mention #so uh after work Thursday I almost overdrafted my bank acc because I used the wrong card to get gas and my moms reaction kind snapped #something in me and I spiraled and am still spiraling so I called out Friday and today so I didn’t breakdown at work #well this morning my mom woke me up and just kinda drilled into me because my sister helped me get this job and it could look bad on her and #everyone has mental health problems but they still go to work and I have to work because they can’t always pay for me #which btw I never ever said I wanted to quit I love this job but okay! #and then she basically confirmed all my self deprecating thoughts like being a bad pet owner and not doing enough around the house etc #so that’s so cool that she also thinks that about me that made me feel amazing!!! #she said I step all over my dad and siphon money out of my sister #which my dad and I are so very similar mentally so if I am I have no idea tbh #and then the money thing is because my sister bought concert tickets for me her my dad and our cousin but I promised to pay her back in full #like I calculated it and everything but I also reminded her that she didn’t have to get them #any time my sister does something with her money that overlaps with my interests my mom thinks it’s me convincing her lol #and then she was like ‘do you have anything you want to say to me’ and I should’ve know it was a trap! but I didn’t! #so I said ‘I already know all these things and I hate myself for them I just want to be normal but I’m not’ type stuff because I’m hypervent #hyperventilating and sobbing at this point and she said ‘stop trying to manipulate me’ #so now I don’t ever wanna be alone with her again #I thought she had been finally listening and understanding and changing ever since I went to the mental hospital #but obviously not because I felt like I was in school again #she finally left to take a shower and I was gonna just down my Zoloft lmao I can’t please her so why be here yknow #didn’t realize my dad was awake and he told me he contacted our therapist (we share one) and told her I might need a sooner session and then #I went back in my room because I couldn’t get to my Zoloft and he wanted to talk and stuff and I almost took my backup ones from when I was #on a lower dose but he came in and basically did damage control for my mom #but he made me feel a bit better and somehow he just Knew I was contemplating sewer slide and had me promise not to #I love my dad and he actually understands and is gentle and patient with me and I thought that was rubbing off on my mom but no!! #love knowing I’m a big disappointment to her and that I’m manipulative too #I can’t die but hopefully I can get out of here soon I can’t be near her #she even said that even if my therapist suggests calling in I just shouldn’t!!!! so cool!!!!! #love how you don’t want me to take care of myself because it could mess with my sisters reputation!!!!!