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iconic-ponytail · 3 years

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there's always money in the banana stand

riverdale promptathon week 3: yellow + business

Even as the sun sets, even as the breeze blows, the hell furnace of July in Riverdale burns on. It’s triply as sweltering inside the tiny booth running three freezers, offloading heat to sustain the frozen merchandise inside. “How can it be so hot in there when we are supposed to be selling frozen bananas?” JB complains, at least twice a week.

She’s twelve. Complaint is her new first language. She complains about being left in Riverdale while Gladys went back to Toledo. She complains about living in a trailer park that usually does not have warm water. She complains about their father being imprisoned for covering up a gruesome murder. But most of all, she complains about working in the banana stand.

Child labor laws aside, Jughead can’t blame her for that one. He hates the damn banana stand, but it’s their best shot.

Gladys’ monthly check covers rent and utilities for the trailer. Everything else is on him, now. The idiot eighteen year old who decided to petition the court to be his sister’s legal guardian. Well, and his idiot mom who signed off on it. So he needs money, and the Jones family has never been particularly flush with cash, just trampled over by FP’s failed “business opportunities.”

Enter: the banana stand.

It’s not the fastest revenue stream, Jughead finds. But it’s got potential.

Initially, Dilton doesn’t let him sell during the Twilight Drive-In’s concession stand hours. Before or after the movie, sure, but no overlap. “I’m not worried about competition, Jones. It’s just too humiliating for me to watch you sweat through that horrible yellow polo you call ‘branding.’”

But when customers asked him more than twice a night when the banana stand would be open, Dilton caved.

It’s not like being open during the screening hours is a whole lot more preferable. He only just transferred from Southside to Riverdale High last spring; now he’s the rising senior who hands out phallic symbols from inside a giant phallic symbol. Not exactly a boon to his popularity.

Still, recently the money is enough to pay the internet bill and keep JB fed for dinner when she can’t go to the summer breakfast and lunch program at the local park district. It’s still not enough for him to eat particularly well, and the smell of hot dogs and slurp of his classmates’ slushies makes the heat feel like a minor inconvenience.

He eyes the tip jar, willing himself to wait on rampaging the concession stand until the beginning of the film roar dies down. It’s a double feature tonight, which means maybe he can score enough cash to cover those damn college application fees his counselor will start hounding him about week one of school.

Then he sees her—Betty Cooper. She’s laughing, watching Archie Andrews try to catch popcorn in his mouth, tossed by his paramour, Veronica Lodge. She pauses to sip from her slushie straw, her lips—which he’s watched argue against homophobic and racist comments in their advanced lit class, or pressed to the cheek of her other best friend, Kevin Keller. Which he’s imagined, doing slightly less savory things, though the mere thought of said imagining has his heart pounding wildly.

(Jughead’s been eating way too many fucking bananas. Someone needs to check his potassium levels.)

His absolutely pathetic gaze, once available three times a day in their shared classes where Jughead has still not managed to exert any confidence whatsoever regarding speech, eye contact, or general acknowledgement of Betty Cooper’s existence other than whatever drooling may or may not be happening, all of which he finds he has no control over… is all interrupted by the absolute polar opposite of Betty Cooper. Hiram Lodge zooms up to the banana stand on his segway, angling to a stop just before taking out the stand’s foundation.

“Still getting a hang of that, Mayor Lodge?”

Hiram grimaces. “Just checking that you’ve renewed your business permit, Jones.”

They do this once a week. It’s still the same permit.

“You know,” Hiram starts as Jughead rustles for the paperwork to make him go the fuck away, “I could find you an arrangement with a better banana supplier. For a discount. If you’re interested.”

Jughead rolls his eyes. “I’m not interested in your GMO, black market bananas, Hiram.”

Hiram gives him a pointed look. Jughead rolls his eyes even harder. “Mayor Lodge.” He proffers the papers, Hiram waves them away. “I’ll take one chocolate peanut butter dip. With peanuts.”

Jughead kisses his teeth. “That will be $3.50.”

Hiram’s whole face goes serpentine. “Not between business partners, Jones. Put it on my tab.”

Jughead grits his teeth, handing the finished banana so aggressively he hopes that the chocolate splatters and stains Hiram’s $500 tie. It is only slightly worth it to watch Hiram struggle with navigating the segway one-handed, frozen banana in the other.

He muffles a chuckle before realizing he’s used the dead end of the chopped peanut topping, and exits the stand to update the order board hanging on the outside. It’s mostly an excuse to feel a ten degree drop in temperature, a sweet relief he might be able to extend by grabbing a hot dog before the intermission rush.

He’s crossing off peanuts from the topping list and spinning around when he hears a shriek and a sudden, cold slosh across his chest. The yellow polo drips with artificial blue slushie, but Jughead swallows his fucking hell when he sees that the shriek, gaping stare of horror, and stumble in question all belong to his very own blonde kryptonite.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, jesus, shit, I’m so sorry!”

Jughead is frozen while Betty grabs about half his napkin dispenser and starts pawing at his shirt in a vain attempt to right the giant sticky blue mess all over his chest.

Finally, Jughead swallows the golf ball in his throat and chokes out. “Honestly, it’s fine. That stand is a sauna. I needed that.”

Betty stops, both her blotting and her stream of apologizing (which includes a fair bit of cursing, and he is a little revolted with himself by how much this turns him on).

“It’s going to get very sticky, soon. Maybe I should buy a bottle of cold water?”

Jughead can’t help himself. “Oh, impromptu yellow t-shirt contest?”

Betty grins.

I did that.

“Do you have any employees who could bring you another shirt?”

Jughead shakes his head. “Just my sister. She’s playing video games at home. There’s no earthly way she’ll bring me a spare.”

Betty cocks her head. “I had a feeling you were more than the silent back row kind of guy.”

The fact that Betty Cooper has, at any point, considered what kind of guy he is triggers full-on nervous blathering. “I’m usually very tired at school. I have this little sister—but I’m kind of um, her guardian. So I’m doing this stupid banana stand thing because it’s like one of the three assets to our entire family name I guess? Anyway, it’s hard to engage with Haggly’s basic discussion questions at eight in the morning when you spent the whole night dreaming about wholesale banana margins.”

He’s essentially vomiting words, but Betty is still smiling.

“Anyway, I should crawl back into my fruit-shaped purgatory and let you go back to your friends.”

She’s biting her lip, hedging. “Honestly, they’re probably using the alone time to make out in the car, and I’d rather let them get all their sexual tension out so that I don’t have to feel it radiating off of them for the whole second half of the double feature.”

Jughead laughs and tamps down the impulse to offer her a frozen banana, because he cannot possibly say something like that without making it sound sexual.

“What are frozen banana profit margins like, anyway?” Betty asks, either genuinely interested or legitimately flirting with him. Jughead finds both potentials baffling.

Jughead hesitates, then ducks inside the stand, pulling out his spiral bound notebook. “I’m still kind of figuring it out. All my records are in here.”

Betty sidles up to the stand, taking up the whole window. They’re both leaning over the scribbled line items on college ruled paper; he can smell her shampoo. She takes the notebook, scanning thoroughly.

“Do you have a pencil?”

He hands her one and observes her going to work, writing out some algebraic formula and calculating quickly in her head. There is a calculator within his reach, but he thinks handing it to her might come off as an insult. (Jughead wouldn’t know; he assumes Betty is in an advanced math class. Jughead is not.)

After a few minutes of watching her devoted focus, thinking about her hands touching his pencil, thinking about her hands wrapped around his hand, or his—

“I don’t know how to tell this to you, Jug.”

The shortening of his name stops his heart for a jolt, and his response is embarrassingly delayed. “What is it?”

Betty winces but smiles through it, a combination she’s surely learned to use when delivering bad news. It’s well earned, it really does soften the blow.

“There’s no money in the banana stand. At least, not with these margins.”

Jughead finds himself less than devastated by this news, mostly because it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The messenger doesn’t hurt, either.

“But,” she interrupts. “I don’t know if you’ve nailed down your course load for senior year. But I’m taking AP Econ? This could be, um, a good project. Like, if you want to take the class. Or even if you don’t. Not that you’re like a project or… whatever. I’m just saying we could figure it out. Make lemonade out of… bananas.”

Betty Cooper is extremely cute when she stammers.

Jughead doesn’t know what to do, so he gives her an easy out. “I can’t like, hire you, if that wasn’t obvious by the whole… deficit spending or whatever the whole negative circled number at the bottom of the page really means.”

She flushes. “No, that would be highway robbery. I just thought there might be an… opportunity. For um, us. I mean, for you and I. I mean—” she clears her throat, as if it’s closing up. “An academic opportunity. Or, in your case, professional. Well, a betterment of your livelihood. Okay, um, shit, just… I should go!”

She turns away, her face the deepest scarlet he’s ever seen.

“Betty, wait.”

She pivots back, eyes down at the ground.

“How about I buy you a new slushie and you come back into the booth. Tell me everything I’m doing wrong for the rest of the night.”

Betty looks up, biting the corner of her smile. “Sounds like a deal.”

They shake on it.

#this is unhinged but i had to ok #I HAD TO #riverdalepromptathon #riverdale fanfiction #bughead fanfiction #riverdalepromptathonweek3

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ayuuria · 3 years

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Yashahime Translation: Animedia Magazine March 2021 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

Tis the Season of Love ♪,

Get That Person’s Heart! (let’s get it)

The flower blooming Spring is the season of (new) meetings. Look around for an instant and before you know it, the distance between “that person” and “that person” has gotten smaller. Will love be born from there? Picking up the relationship that people are curious about.

Even though they’re at the height of adolescence, the three Yashahimes slay demons all the time. Within that, recently there’s a gentleman that has quickly approached Towa. His name is Riku. He seems to be known among demons and is a suspicious unidentifiable person, but his manners are exceptional in any case! Whether it’s because Towa let’s her guard down at his friendly attitude, they seem to enjoy their conversations whenever they meet. It seems Riku has a motive but putting that aside, it appears that he’s taken a liking to Towa herself. While still not knowing whether he’s a friend or enemy, at some point, a relationship that’s not quite love (?) has sprouted between them. This time, we had Matsumoto Sara, the voice actress for Towa, talk about Riku and, going with the theme of Spring, had her choose flower images for the Yashahimes and Riku based on “Flower Language”.

The handsome young man with an ulterior motive, Riku

Self-proclaimed “pirate come ashore”. A young man of many mysteries who covets the rainbow pearls the three Yashahimes possess. He also knows a lot about the circumstances surrounding the birth of Towa and the others.

The honest girl who is still inexperienced in love, Towa

Sesshōmaru’s daughter and Setsuna’s elder twin sister. She treasures Setsuna, who was raised separately from her, more than anyone else. On the night of the new moon, she loses her demonic powers and her hair turns black.

Setsuna

Towa’s younger twin sister. Due to having her sleep stolen by the Dream Butterfly, she is unable to sleep. While she does not have any memories of her early childhood, she has gradually become able to let her guard down around Towa.

Spring Breeze Interview, The Voice Actress for Higurashi Towa: Matsumoto Sara

Moroha

Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter. Separated from her parents soon after being born, she was raised by the wolf demon tribe. When she puts rouge on her lips, she becomes “Beniyasha, the Destroyer of Lands” and goes on a rampage.

— With the development thus far, which episode left a big impression on you?

What left the biggest impression on me was episode 14 which was the episode that showed the truth behind the forest fire that separated Towa and Setsuna. I always to keep an objective point of view while acting but at that time, I was truly angry from the bottom of my heart. Whether for better or for worse, Towa’s emotions came into me.

Also, the depiction of Towa and Setsuna when they were born in episode 15 left an impression on me as well. Since it’s Sesshōmaru, I thought he would be rough with the babies but surprisingly, he firmly and carefully held them, so I was relieved (laughs).

— Being Towa’s father, what do you think of Sesshōmaru’s actions?

Without really saying too much, even though there are not enough words, I end up just suddenly saying what I’m really curious about. However, I think Sesshōmaru himself acts on his intentions while not caring about what others around him think. I also didn’t know what the future development was, so as the role of the daughter I thought “Please give more hints”.

— How did you feel seeing the figure of Towa fighting up to this point?

When Towa’s life completely changed by jumping from the modern era to the feudal era, I worried if Towa would be able to cope but I was surprised at how adaptable she was. There’s the fact that she’s still in puberty so her sensitivity is like a sponge, or rather her ability to absorb things is amazing, I think. Also, having Setsuna nearby is big. There may be times where she’s uneasy but her strong sense of duty and justice to “protect Setsuna” is what I feel drives her. She’s the type to immediately take action if there’s something she has to do, so I think her current environment is a good fit.

— Alright then, what are some highlights going forward?

There’s an episode where you will learn Setsuna’s childhood and how she lived after she was separated from Towa. In episode 13, it talked about how Monk Miroku sealed Setsuna’s demonic powers, so this flashback episode of the past will connect to that. After episode 20, the fragments scattered throughout the story thus far will gradually come together as one, so there’s a lot of information packed in that you can’t miss. I think viewers have been in suspense following the mystery (of the story) so please look forward to the final stage of the development.

Will the Scheming Man’s Approach Work on the Dense Princess!?

Towa & Riku Affinity Investigation

I’m weak against boys like Riku, so if someone continuously came to me saying “I’m interested in you”, it would make my heart beat fast (laughs). Riku moves understanding that mentality and I think he’s good at setting up the mood when approaching Towa. I think right now based on where he stands, he makes spur of the moment decisions on how to act. He’s mysterious but he smiles periodically and even though he’s vague, he has a maternal appeal… He’s a very charming and sly character (Matsumoto)

By the way! If Riku were in the modern era, what sort of occupation would he be suitable for?

He’s a sweet talker, so the first thing that comes to mind is a swindler (laughs). There was a scene where he showed a magic technique so I think work in the entertainment field would also fit Riku. He also seems suitable to be an actor. He’s got natural talent and can turn into any person. Then conversely, I think strict jobs would also suit him. If he were a schoolteacher, I have a feeling he would be popular with the students. (Matsumoto)

The Part of Riku that Makes One Swoon: He completely reeks of danger.

Riku’s mysteriousness is appealing. He also met Kagome before she gave birth to Moroha, but he looked the same as he does now.

The Part of Towa that Makes One Swoon: She tries her hardest and is pure cuteness!

Losing her demonic powers on the “Night of the New Moon”, Towa becomes worried about Setsuna. Different from usual, she shows the weak side of a regular girl.

Try! Heart Pounding Flower & Date Plan

What flower comes to mind for Towa, Setsuna, Moroha, and Riku?

Setsuna is the Evening Primrose

Setsuna is an evening primrose which in flower language means “Silent Affection”. The evening primrose goes unnoticed and quietly blooms at night. Having her sleep stolen by the Dream Butterfly, I think it overlaps with the figure of Setsuna being the only one awake after everyone else has fallen asleep for the night. (Matsumoto)

Towa is the Lily

Towa is a lily which in flower language means “Pure”. While watching reality change before her eyes, I think the word “pure” fits Towa perfectly as she acts with a pure sense of justice and duty. That sense of not being tainted by anything is also like a lily. (Matsumoto)

Moroha is the Statice

Moroha is a statice which in flower language means “Endless Memories”. Born as Inuyasha and Kagome’s child, I think Moroha’s existence is blessed. The things Moroha inherited from her parents are within her as “endless memories”. That’s what I imagined. (Matsumoto)

Riku is the Anemone

Riku is a purple anemone which in flower language means “I will believe in you as I wait”. Riku will affectionately call Zero “Elder Sister” (translators: I believe the context is the same word that maiko (apprentice Geisha) use to address their superiors (full-fledged Geishas)) and he seems to have strong feelings for Kirinmaru in his own way, so I matched (the flower) to that image. (Matsumoto)

If you were to gift Towa, Setsuna, Moroha, and Riku flowers?

I think a small bouquet would suit Towa and Riku and they would genuinely be delighted. I think Towa would give you a wink as a thank you. I want to give Setsuna a large bouquet. She would probably turn her face away slightly, embarrassed. Instead of a bouquet for Moroha, I want to take her to a flower field myself. I think she would enjoy the scenery while saying “This won’t make any money.” (Matsumoto)

If you were to take Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha out in the Spring?

My impression is that the warm spring weather would suit the three of them. If in the feudal era, I think they would enjoy cherry blossom viewing. Ideally, it would be great if their parents were there with them too. If in the modern era, I’d have to say I want them to do some kind of team activity. I want to see something like Towa dressing up Setsuna, going shopping together, and eating delicious food. (Matsumoto)

I want their (the three Yashahimes) hearts to become closer while loving the cherry blossoms!

Illustration Description

Whether it was to let Towa know that there was a butterfly on her shoulder, Riku amiably calls out to her. It feels as though Towa’s encounter with Riku wasn’t all bad?

#hanyou no yashahime #yashahime: princess half-demon #translation #Yashahime

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albatris · 4 years

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ok ok alriiiight ok so the plot of ATDAO

this post is not, like........... well, it’s not gonna be a blurb or a summary or a nice neat synopsis, this is not Professional Writeblr Business, this is, this is, uhhhh

this is like drunk house party logan rambles

works best if you imagine ur just like “hey man how’s it going” super casual and I grasp you firmly by the shoulders and look you dead in the eye and just ramble all of this without taking a single breath

could I have explained in a nice neat concise "elevator pitch" sort of way? probably. mind ur business. that’s not how we do things here at albatris.org

anyway the purpose of this post is “hey people seem to know a lot about the characters and the worldbuilding and the premise but have no clue what happens in the actual story” so I’m not going to be talking about said characters and worldbuilding and premise in depth

in terms of rambles, that stuff’s been covered! this post assumes you know what Ports are, n what the nature of the ATDAO apocalypse is, vaguely what the MCs are like as people......... though I can fetch this info for you if you like

but yeah if you are coming into this post with zero prior ATDAO knowledge........... deeply deeply from the bottom of my heart: sorry

also if this is your first time experiencing One Of These Rambles

also @safe-in-the-steep-cliffs and @siarven I am tagging you because you said you would like to be tagged and also hi and also I hope y’all knew what you were in for

anyway without further ado

(visual representation of my approach to this rant, not of how complicated my plot actually is)

(my plot is not that complicated)

ALRIGHT

there are two viewpoint characters! and two plotlines which converge near the end of the story, but honestly there’s a very real possibility I will decide these are two separate books meant as companion stories to each other because I love making things difficult for myself yeehaw

ATDAO’s co-protags are Tris and Noa, best buds four years and counting. their friendship is one of the single most important aspects of the story, n the ongoing love and trust they have for each other despite the way unfolding events force their relationship to change is integral to the themes and making the heart of the story what it is. I will now proceed to not mention this friendship for the entire remainder of this post. they’re bros. that’s all u need to know. listen. listen. I have a lot to cover

so yeah, ur first key player is Tris Greer, whose parents are dicks but whose siblings are chill. most notably of said siblings there is Jacob, older brother by thirteen years, whom Tris believes is just about the coolest person on the entire planet. this plotline kicks off when Jacob gets caught in the midst of a freak car accident that kills a dude and wrecks a street corner and also somehow causes Jacob to just kind of................. blip out of existence entirely and without a trace?

n Tris is understandably horrified and distressed by Very Much All Of This, but hey, at least there are responsible adults who can look into this obviously Port-related weird disappearance and figure this mess out, right?

INCORRECT

the relevant interdimensional authorities are brought in to suss out the situation and these authorities are kind of like “hmmmm idk about this” but are all set to take Tris at least somewhat seriously until they learn the following:

that Jacob had already been reported missing to police in his home state three days earlier

that Jacob was in the midst of several ongoing personal crises and at least one nervous breakdown

that Jacob was allegedly tangled up in some real weird shit that would more than account for a disappearance under suspicious circumstances

that Tris is schizophrenic, prone to hallucinations, confusion, memory issues and quote unquote “letting his imagination and anxiety get the better of him”, and precisely zero people can actually corroborate his story that Jacob was even there are the time of the accident to begin with

and after some back-and-forth and Looking Into The Evidence pretty much everyone in any position of authority comes to the conclusion that this is just Ordinary Regular People Crimes and whatever happened to Jacob had nothing to do with weird apocalyptic energies, and that Tris is (at best) stressed out and delusional or (at worst) lying through his teeth because he knows more than he’s letting on

so Tris is forced to hop pretty quick from “I’m sure someone will handle this” to “no one believes me but I’m sure if I can find some concrete proof they’ll listen and someone will handle it” to Well Fuck I Guess That Someone Is Me

cue bizarre reality-hopping fantasy quest, which is ten times easier said than done when most of the time Tris is terrified enough just, like, going to the supermarket

he enlists the help of his new classmate Shara, amateur paranormal investigator and professional weird-bullshit enthusiast, who agrees to help him puzzle out what the fuck happened to Jacob in exchange for his assistance in mapping out Adelaide’s interdimensional “fault lines” as part of her ongoing quest to track down the source of the apocalypse

she’s got big fuckin dreams, ok, go hard or go home

slso worth noting at this point that there HAS been an uptick in Ports and their related reality-bending strangeness in Adelaide recently which is why this is of particular interest to her currently. gotta find out What Makes The Weirdness Tick, gotta find out Why The Sudden Extra Weirdness

..........and also Kai is there

Kai has no nice neat reason to get involved with the plot, Kai just likes drama and being all up in people’s personal business. Tris brings them on board for one single afternoon like “hey I will pay you some money to come to my house and fix my fucked up phone so I can listen to an interdimensional voicemail” but forgot the apparently key addendum “and then leave”

their first three chapters of knowing each other is basically Tris being like “stop inviting yourself into my house we are not friends” and Kai being like “that’s a rude thing to say to your friend. also your sister gave me the netflix password and I used your kitchen to bake pastries feel free to help yourself”

but yeah so Tris’s story mostly focuses on his quest to figure out where Jacob got yeeted to and how to get him safely home (y’all probably know a bit about The Unreality already maybe?), whilst also dealing with rising family tensions, whatever shifty stuff Jacob was involved with prior to his disappearance, and his own creeping doubts about his perceptions of reality

n I’m also saying flat out it’s not a plot that’s going the “oh the whole thing was just a delusion all along” route because ew

his psychosis is a fairly involved part of his character but the explorations around it are more to do with, like......... the difficulties he has in trusting himself and whether he has the luxury of letting himself get swept into some Big Weird Implausible Adventure when this has extremely different implications for him than it would someone else. n eventually to how his success and survival is not ~in spite of~ but specifically because of the different way he understands and interprets the world and the skills he’s developed

THAT TANGENT WAS A PERSONAL RANT IT WAS NOT RELEVANT I just have words to say on the subject of how psychosis is treated in fiction and didn’t want people jumping to the “none of it is real” conclusion anyway ok moving on

ur SECOND key player is Noa Yun, who has rather a lot on her plate right now. she’s broke as fuck and her mum is sick and her car is making Noises and she’s not getting enough hours at her job at Not-IKEA and everyone is on her back about her failing studies as if that’s a thing she has the energy to care about. feeling rather backed into a corner by life’s bullshit and her financial situation, she blatantly lies her way into a field job at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, because A) surely it can’t be THAT bad, and B) what does she have to lose?

so more or less what she’s doing is the equivalent of emergency services for Port-related weirdness, it’s going out and dealing with highly unstable otherworldly energies head on, navigating Weird Phenomena and bendy patches in reality......... it is, among other things, a job that’s relatively easy to get into because no one wants to touch it with a ten foot pole unless they absolutely have to

n the DII is a whole other post, this shit has lots of different functions and levels and branches and corruption and secrets and a tendency to view workers who have to go out and deal with the brunt of the apocalypse head-on as vaguely expendable and I’ve talked about it a bit before and in more Serious Words

things kinda kick off for her when in true Noa fashion she hurls herself into a dangerous situation to help out a coworker, n enters a pretty standard issue “overlap” where the barriers between universes are a little fucky, but hey, she seems to come out of it with nary a scratch, so it’s reasonable to assume everything is fine, right?

INCORRECT AGAIN

she basically gets some whacked-out otherworldly energies latched onto her that are now following her through her everyday life, and it turns out she’s starting to bend the reality around her the way certain types of Ports do, which is! obviously not ideal! she’s not exactly a Port herself, because she’s pretty sure that’s impossible, but it’s clear capital s Something happened to her in that overlap, and she doubts it’s good news. and to make matters even more disconcerting, she’s now being dogged at every step by strange visions of a child who speaks in an unfamiliar language and who seems Real Fuckin Pissed at her

so her thing is basically “I acquired fucked up reality-bending powers against my will and they might be lowkey killing me ‘cause Ports are notoriously unstable like that and also I’m haunted for some godforsaken reason” which all somehow ended up being, like, the least interesting part of her plotline for me lmao

oh and Noa also enlists the help of Shara, Because Ghosts

anyway yeah so her search to find out what’s happening to her re: Weird Children, being a Port-adjacent something-or-other, and whether there’s a way to stop her own unravelling leads her to (rogue computer programmer? mad scientist? general shifty bastard?) Laurence Marrick Thiele, who claims to have suffered a similar affliction in the past and now does some real interesting research on the subject. n this guy. well. he’s got some fuckin stuff going on

he definitely knows more about the nature of Ports than he should. also is he actually researching what he says he’s researching? also what’s with all the weird tech? also did he just straight up murder that guy Avery? all will be revealed later, maybe, if I feel like it

but yeah at about the same time as Noa goes “actually fuck this you’re shady as hell I’m out” she stumbles into, like, The Actual Reality of what Marrick is up to re: manipulating Ports and interdimensional doorways for his own gain, and the various ways this spells bad news not only for her but potentially for the entire city and anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire, and she shifts gear to “actually you know what I’m gonna kick your ass”

there are various reasons for this, but first and foremosterly you have to understand that Noa’s got a fuckload of pent-up rage and she will bring it in full force the moment you say some stupid shit like “some people are expendable” or “it’s inevitable for the greater good”

(there’s also a fun ongoing subplot with her work at the DII where she and her team are investigating a string of strange illnesses with bizarre symptoms that appear to be spreading via obscure radio stations so that’s. happening. I guess?)

but yeah the main story here mostly follows Noa’s attempts to undermine Marrick, bastard supreme, and find a way to fuck him up before he goes, like, Full Cartoon Supervillain, n also like........... her attempts to keep up her work at the DII despite her rising paranoia that the teammates she’s growing to care about will notice her increasingly unstable state and the fact that she’s all tangled up with the very forces they’re meant to be thwarting. n along the way discovering the reality of what happened to her in The Aforementioned Overlap Incident and about her visions and such

so that’s all that. did that make sense

n she’s got a whole arc going on about trust and learning to lean on others, like, she comes into this story as a very standoffish person with lots of paranoia, she’s spent much of her life feeling like she can only rely on herself, n she’s. well. yeah, like I said, she’s got a lot of anger at the world and at the various systems that have failed her and her loved ones, n the story puts her in a position to become even more isolated

and her plotline isn’t so much “you have no reason to be angry or afraid” or her learning to Not Be, It’s more, like........... yeah you have every fucking right to be furious and of course you’re afraid! but there are people around you who love you and who will jump at the chance to defend you and who will help you carry the weight of your anger and grief and none of this needs to be yours to bear alone which is extremely cheesy

which applies to both her Weird Supernatural Goings-On as well as her regular ordinary life goings-on

I feel like Alice and Jet deserve a mention for Noa’s plotline but also this went on and on too long already so. well. Alice and Jet exist! yep. they work with Noa at the DII. I have things to say about them. I will not be saying them today

and uhhhhhh

in general, for Tris, his plotline, you wanna think, like, fantasy/adventure vibes which veer pretty sharply into horror, and for Noa you wanna think...... kinda, sci-fi mystery conspiracy vibes with a dash of some superhero bullshit maybe except not really

and that

pretty much is it I think

also the fact that Kai just invites themself into the plot for funsies and then is dragged kicking and screaming into caring about themself and making positive changes in their life means there was no convenient place in this post to be like

"oh there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop"

but there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop

goodnight! thanks for coming to....................... whatever this was! have a nice saturday everyone

#alcohol mention #just in the first little intro bit #being concise is not my strong suit! this should be apparent perhaps #tl;dr #tris's brother jacob gets lost down the back of an interdimensional sofa and tris has gotta go get him back even though #he's terrified enough just leaving the house let alone leaving this entire reality on a stupid convoluted mystery quest #and noa has a run in with some interdimensional bullshit and acquires Powers and A Ghost neither of which she wants #and then accidentally uncovers the schemes of literal cartoon supervillain marrick and is like #''oh sick i was looking for a reason to go absolutely fuckin ballistic and fuck someone's shit up''#And Both Of Them Make Nice Friends And Learn To Love Themselves :)#atdao #i constantly walk the very fine line between not wanting to be Too Vague about noa's plotline vs not wanting to be Too Spoilery about it #like............... the stuff about the kid and about marrick's endgame i'm never quite sure how much to delve into hahahaha #but yeah anyway #imo i only went on ONE mildly unrelated tangent which should have been cut but i decided to indulge it instead #which is the couple paragraphs about noa's character arc #character arcs not important for this post!!!!!! but also. dfkhgkdfjshg. try and stop me #(i mean i did pretty ok staying on track for the most part i think)#(still a rambly post though)

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transcendentcacophony · 3 years

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Thinking about Posts and Tumblr

So I responded to an earlier post from @kalesims in the comments. I probably should have reblogged it so I didn't have to break up my response which may have made it less than useful (and potentially read to mean the opposite of what I meant), but I also wanted to move a bit beyond the initial prompt with this longer one. I have not posted much Sims stuff in awhile. Part of this is because school and work demands are eating so much of my time right now1, part of this that ongoing pursuit of perfection we all seem to have to some extent on social media, and part of it is because I may have dumped my entire CC folder into my game without sorting it properly and now it runs like rubbish and I have to fix it. Regardless, I'm going to focus on issue #2 the ongoing pursuit of perfection, because I think this is the most relevant bit and the one I've been thinking a lot about lately. Tumblr is a social media platform. (This bit is a little academic, sorry.) I think we all know that, but do we ever really think about what that means? It's ultimately a company that provides a public-facing platform with the explicit intent of marketing ourselves to each other. More likes and followers for you=more ads and money for Tumblr, but they have to incentivize that for any of us to care. How do they do that? Make it a popularity contest. How often do you look at your likes or followers count? What emotional response do you have when they're low? How many creators incentivize new followers or more likes by releasing content to correlate with milestones in those areas? This is all part of feeding that beast2. It also draws on something referred to academically as the "hedonic treadmill," which is basically the keeping up with the Joneses mentality where we constantly compare our success to our peers and find ourselves wanting, even if we aren't. This is going somewhere, I promise.

When I first started Tumblr, I had one blog: transcendentcacophony. I started it explicitly to follow sims blogs I liked and keep track of the cc I downloaded or things that caught my attention, and my initial posts all reflected that. After I was on for a while, I realized most blogs compartmentalized to a certain degree: you have a blog for gameplay, a blog for cc finds, a blog for interest x, etc., so, not being particularly versed in these things, I thought "This is how you tumble!" and immediately set about creating sideblogs like transcendentcacophonyinspire, transcendentcacophonys3cc, or transcendentcacophonystudyblr. I went through my entire archive, moved everything over to its new home, and deleted the original posts and reblogs from this page. Does that mean I think having all the sideblogs is wrong? Nope. The organization of having sideblogs is sometimes helpful, but they they make me feel kind of fractured on some level. None of these provide an image of a whole person, just brief glimpses of an aspect. Sometimes I regret having split the off, other times I find it more convenient. Mileage may vary, but the obvious winner for the sideblog model is arguably Tumblr. None of my blogs have many followers, but there isn't as much overlap in audience as you might think and if they were all still one blog, I doubt there'd be as many as there are.

This raises the question of who you intend your blog to be for. Is it for Tumblr, so they can keep making that sweet sweet ad revenue? Is it for the online audience? Or is it for you? Who do you see as your primary audience? The structure of social media clearly wants us to say everyone else. "You're here for the likes! The followers! The popularity!" Other companies lean in to this as well. How many followers do you have to have to qualify as an EA Game Changer?

I would argue that it's this pressure to have all likes, followers, etc., that prohibit us from posting what we really want to post. Are you posting the things that actually make you happy? Or are you posting the things that you think an audience wants to see?

Learning anything takes a lot of practice. How many times did you fall off before you learned to ride a bike? How many broken and malformed pots do you make before you get a perfect one? We learn by doing. Waiting for that perfect screenshot or getting reshade just right or having the perfect city in CAW keeps us from posting our broken pots. Maybe we need to post more broken pots.

If something makes us happy, does it need to be perfect, or do we love it anyway? "This is my first pot! It sucks, but I made it! Finishing it alone is an accomplishment! It's mine and I'm learning and I want to show that process so we can all get better together!" Shouldn't our screenshots or gameplay or worldbuilding be the same?

I am building a world in CAW. I've been doing it for quite awhile, and I have an entire folder full of broken pots as a result, but I learned something every time I broke one. When I read CAW forums, I learn more from the ones where things don't work than from ones where they do. I post some of my broken pots, and simmers like @nilxis or @murfeelee are so supportive and helpful and give me tips on how to better and fix issues I'm having. I value that part of this community. I don't learn to do better by not showing off my broken pots.

I know some of my interests are pretty niche. I'm building an alien scifi world, I have conversion projects from games that support that but probably won't be useful to mainstream simmers. I made a series of alien moons in conjunction with simblu, who is now deactivated. These are arguably not things that will get a lot of likes, reblogs, or followers, but they are things that make me happy. Kurt Vonnegut once said when he wrote books, he always wrote with only 2 people in mind: himself and his sister. His goal was that at the very least he would like what he wrote, and a few of the books were written with her in mind, and if anyone else liked it, it was just gravy. I can’t say I’m a fan of the man’s writing, but I kind of like the idea of this mentality.

To that end, I think I'm going to change up how I use this blog moving forward, with the express goal of posting more often and with more emphasis on things that make me happy or show off more of my broken pots. Maybe it will cost me followers, maybe it won't, but it will help me carve this little niche out of the internet that is mine, that makes me happy, and that seeks to support the simmers and other community members3 that have been so supportive of me in the past. If just one or two people get something from it, or are entertained, isn’t that still just as valid?

I don't mean to imply in any way that posting what makes you happy can't make you popular, or gain likes and followers. It's very much possible. Vonnegut wrote his books for himself and he published 14 novels, three short story collections, five plays, and five nonfiction works, complete with film adaptations of several, literary prizes, etc. You can be successful doing what you love.

But I don't know that I need to be successful at it. I want to be happy doing it first, and anything outside of that is gravy. I'm going to post more broken pots and worry less about perfection or "doing it right." I'm going to fall off the bike and get back up and keep going. And maybe, by falling and failing, I'll get better or at least good enough or comfortable enough I'm not worried so much about that quest for perfection that is currently prohibiting me from trying.

Anyways, @kalesims, I don't know if that answers the original question you had. But I'd love to see what you post, be it gameplay, screenshots, cc, etc., really whatever floats your boat, moving forward. And, if you're willing, I'd love to learn by doing together. Let's go break some pots.

1 Whoever decided the best way to avoid outbreaks on campus was to just cancel all breaks and holidays over the last year clearly doesn't understand college students (who very much are still having parties and making up their own breaks) or that the reason we have those breaks is for mental health. Fall break was specifically added to reduce suicide rates among graduate students. And admin wonders why everyone hates them... 2 There's a researcher who looks at social media as a neoliberal marketplace that forces us to monetize ourselves without necessarily allowing us to realize that's what we're doing. She's got a book coming out about it next month if anyone is interested: Pain Generation: Social Media, Feminist Activism, and the Neoliberal Self(ie)

3I have in no way forgotten you, @piyotan, and you are definitely part of my online community, this was just targeted largely at simming.

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thetravelerwrites · 4 years

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Monster Match #22: Tikbalang

The Traveler's Masterlist

For @severedreamerbeard: You’ve been matched with a tikbalang!

Tikbalangs, or Tigbolan, scare travelers by leading them astray and playing tricks on them, such as making them return to an arbitrary path, no matter how far they go or where they turn. A superstition popular with the Tagalogs of Rizal Province is that Tikbalangs are benevolent guardians of elemental kingdoms. They are usually found standing at the foot of large trees looking around for anyone who dares to bestow malignancy on their kingdom's territory.

It is a tall, bony humanoid creature with the head and hooves of a horse and disproportionately long limbs, to the point that its knees reach above its head when it squats down.

In some versions, the tikbalang can also transform itself into human form or turn invisible to humans and they like to lead travelers astray. Tikbalang is generally associated with dark, sparsely populated, foliage-overgrown areas, with legends variously identifying their abode as being beneath bridges, in bamboo clumps or banana groves, and atop Kalumpang (Sterculia foetida) or Balite (Ficus indica) trees.

You met Bayani in your art class on your very first day. He had immigrated from the Philippines to attend college a year before you started school, and due to his unusual appearance, had trouble making friends. You hadn’t seen anyone like him before, and where that made some people uncomfortable, it fascinated you. He was such a sweet person that you couldn’t help befriending him.

It took him some time to open up to you, but once he did, you realized how homesick he was. His kind typically lived in the same grove they were born in for their entire lives. Moving away was highly unlikely, but to actually integrate into society was practically unheard of. As far as you knew, he was the first of his kind to attend college. Anywhere. In history.

The only reason he wasn’t in the news was because he had specifically requested not to be. In fact, his advocates had filed injunctions to prevent the media from reporting on it. He didn’t want attention for doing what millions of people did all the time.

His sweetness made you friends, but it was the shy humility and talent that attracted you to him. He didn’t think much of himself, often having heard the awful things people said about him, and you wanted him to think of himself the way you did: unique and intelligent and kind. You were nervous about speaking your attraction to him. He was new to society and you weren’t sure of his preferences, or if he was even looking for any sort of romance.

“What is it like? Your home?” You asked him once during class. The two of you were sitting a little bit away from everyone else to give his long legs enough room without kicking someone else’s chair or easel.

“It is beautiful,” He told you, starting to sketch on a fresh page. “I lived deep in the jungle on the island of Luzon, near a steam that branched from the Magat River. It was lush and green. It never grew cold there, and there were many birds. My whole family had lived there for hundreds of years undetected before we learned of the Mass Integration. I miss it.”

“Why did you leave?”

“We had only heard that non-human creatures had joined humanity a few years ago, but we were still nervous to reveal ourselves. I was the first to decide to leave and see what the world was like. When my time in college is over, I plan to travel for a few years, then return with what I’ve learned. The rest of my clan will then decide if they wish to leave or stay.”

“Will you stay home after that?” You asked him.

“I don’t know yet,” He admitted. Looking over, you saw him drawing the thick underbrush of a forest. “I suppose I will decide when the time comes.”

“What’s been the hardest thing? Was it difficult to get into college?” You asked him.

“No, actually, passing the test was relatively easy after I took that year of tutoring. And the scholarship I received has made it rather easy.” He stopped sketching and sighed, looking out of the window. “I… I suppose I… did not realize how… small… people can be. How petty. How… superficial? Is that the word?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking that’s right,” You replied.

He sighed. “I thought, because non-humans felt safe enough to reveal themselves, that it would be… less…” He sighed again sharply. “I can’t think of the words.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” You said. “Humans have a long history of not getting along with each other, so it’s unfortunately not surprising that they aren’t exactly nice to other species of people.”

“I can’t understand that,” He said with a grimace.

“Honestly, I can’t either,” You replied sadly. “Are you drawing home?”

“Yes,” He said, his mood brightening. “See? I can’t get the shape of the houses right, though.”

“Oh,” You said, scooting closer. “What kind of houses are they?”

“Small structures, usually one room, nothing grand. Most had open sides with only one or two complete walls, built up off the ground in case of flooding. Since it gets very hot, it was better to have open homes where the breezes could blow through, and we didn’t mind the rain.”

“Like this?” You asked as you sketched.

“Sloped roofs,” He said. “And they’re all pointed toward the river, so that the runoff drains that way. Yes, just like that.”

After sketching for a few more minutes, you took your paper and laid it over Bayani’s sketch, merging the two perfectly.

“Ha,” Bayani said softly. “There it is. Home.”

“I’d like to see it one day,” You said.

“Perhaps you will,” He replied.

“Isn’t it closed to outsiders?”

“Ordinarily,” He said. “But we make exceptions for friends.”

You smiled. “Are you going to enter the art competition they had on the notice board?” You asked him after a moment. “First prize is ten thousand dollars. You could go traveling on summer break, like you want to. Get a head start on seeing the world.”

“I don’t know,” He said. “I don’t think I’m good enough yet to enter. What about you? You’re a wonderful artist.”

“Thanks,” You said. “But I’m not exactly amazing either.”

“You’re incredibly talented!” Bayani replied, earning a shushing from the professor. He ducked his head and spoke in a lower whisper. “You’ve got to win.”

“I’ll enter the contest if you will,” You told him.

“But I don’t even know what to do for the contest,” Bayani said, their face scrunched. “The theme is comfort. I’m not exactly comfortable right now.”

“I know,” You replied. “But there are things that comfort you. Your home does. Do that.”

“Meh, that’s predictable. I’d have to do something original to win.”

“Hmm, that’s true.”

“You enter and I’ll cheer you on,” Bayani said, smiling. “Competition isn’t natural to my people, so I’m still trying to understand it.”

“That’s why you should enter!” You insisted. “You have such a unique style, it’s sure to win.”

“Well, if you’re doing it, then I will, too. If only to challenge myself.”

“That’s the spirit,” You said as the professor called for the end of class. You began packing up your things and getting ready to leave. Bayani always let everyone leave first, and you always waited for him.

“I do find you a comfort,” Bayani said. “You remind me of a friend I had back home. We were always together. Until he found a mate, that is.”

“And you?” You asked, attempting to be nonchalant. “No interest in a mate?”

“Mm,” He replied noncommittally. “Not really. It’s hard to be interested in people I’ve known my whole life. There’s nothing new to learn about them. I feel like discovering new things about your partner is half the fun of loving them.”

“But what about when you’ve learned all there is to know about a person? Do you stop loving them?”

“Not necessarily,” He said, contemplative. “When you learn all there is to know about someone, then you change the situation and learn new things. I like to learn, and there’s no end to learning, now that the world is bigger than I first thought. And now that I can see the world and all the people in it, I can find someone who understands. Does that make sense?”

You laughed a little. “Honestly, that makes perfect sense.”

“What do you find comforting?” He asked. “In terms of the contest?”

“It differs on how I feel at the time,” You said. “If I’m scared, I like being hugged. If I’m sad, I like hugs. If I’m lonely… Oh. Well, I guess I’m not as complicated as I thought.”

He laughed. “How do you convey that through art?”

“I have no idea,” You said, laughing too. “I suppose I’ll figure it out.”

“What will you do with the money if you win?”

“Dunno,” You said. “Maybe start paying off my student loans.”

“Money is another thing that is odd to me,” He said, his face scrunching again like it did whenever he encountered a notion that was foreign to him. “At home, if you needed something, it was given to you. Debt is not a concept we believe in.”

“I wish it was like that everywhere.” You replied wistfully.

Outside of the Arts building, he bid you farewell. “I should hurry. The bus will be here soon and I don’t want to be late getting home. Today is my host sister’s birthday, and they’ve invited me to her birthday dinner.”

“Oh, have fun!” You said, waving. “Tell them I said hi!”

He waved back and began to jog toward the bus stop.

You walked back to your car, fumbling for your keys, lost in thought. Comfort was such an amorphous thing. Everyone had a different idea of what was comforting to them, but they often overlapped. Music, physical touch, objects, food. Different things, similar themes. How would you find a way to convey what comforted you the most?

You thought back on Bayani describing his home, the soft look of fondness he had when he was drawing it. His expression was familiar, if distant. Maybe it wasn’t your comfort you should focus on. Bayani was homesick, that much was obvious. What could you do to help?

At home in your apartment, trying to work with your roommate singing drunkenly along with the TV, you stared at an empty page. You’d been sitting there for an hour trying to draw something, but nothing was coming to you. Banging your head against the desk hadn’t helped, though it did cause your roommate to rush in with a half-empty vodka bottle, convinced someone was trying to break in. After taking the bottle awawy from him and putting him to bed, you sat back down at your desk and sighed, the blank paper mocking you with its… blankness. Fuck you, paper.

Start simple, you told yourself. A tree. Draw a tree.

You began to draw, and progress was stilted at first, but after a while, you tuned out sound and focused on your work. Time blurred and passed as if you were asleep, and before you knew it, the sun was rising.

Well, you were going to be useless today.

Looking back down, you were a little surprised to see Bayani on the page, sitting on the porch of one of those open-faced houses of his home. He was crouched over paper, drawing an undefined sketch. His face was relaxed, his posture at ease. His legs dangled over the side of the raised platform, and even as long as his legs were, they didn’t touch the ground. There were no stairs, but you imagined his people had no trouble getting up and down. Surrounding him was the forest of his home as he had described it to you, with the tall trees and flowers and birds nesting in the branches. There were younger Tikbalangs playing in the background, the younger siblings he spoke of so often.

“So this is what comfort looks like,” You said softly. “I think I get it now.”

It took a week before you were satisfied with the result, but you entered it without telling Bayani. You weren’t sure how he would feel about you using him as the subject of your submission, and it wasn’t likely that you’d win anyway, so he would probably never see it.

Two months later, you got a letter in the mail from the contest and put it away in your backpack, not thinking anything about it. When you got to school, however, it fell out of your pack and Bayani picked it up.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Oh, I think it’s something from the art competition.”

“You entered?” He said. “That’s great, you didn’t tell me!”

“I figured I wouldn’t win, so there was no point.”

“It’s unopened. Didn’t you even look?”

“Nah,” You said. “It’s probably just thanking me for my participation or something.”

“Can I open it?”

“Feel free.”

As you were getting your stuff set up to start class, you heard Bayani open the letter and a pause, then a gasp.

“You… won.”

“What?”

“You won!” He offered you the letter. “Look!”

“You’re shitting me,” You said, taking the letter and reading it. There, at the top in big bold letters, was Congratulations! “Well, fuck me.”

“What did you submit?”

“Oh…” You cleared your throat. “There’s a copy here.” You handed it to him.

He looked at it, and was silent for several minutes. You watched him apprehensively, the din of the class fading from your ears and it seemed as if you were the only two in the room.

“This is me,” He said quietly.

“I hope you don’t find this offensive,” You said anxiously. “I just remembered everything you told me about your home and it sounded amazing. I didn’t even realize what I was drawing until I was finished.”

“It’s beautiful,” He said.

“Oh…” You replied. “Thank you.”

He looked at you with a sweet smile. “It’s no wonder you won. I knew you could.”

You smiled back. “Thanks. I was thinking… maybe I could use the money and take us on a trip to your home. I know how homesick you are.”

He shook his head. “You should spend the money on what you want, not on what I want,” He replied.

“That is what I want,” You said. “Although… if I’m honest, there is one other thing I’d like to do.”

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Take you on a date?” You said hopefully.

The smile widened. “A new experience. Will I get to learn more about you?”

“I’m hoping you’ll learn everything about me, but I also hope you won’t get bored.”

He reached across and took your hand. “I don’t think that’s possible. In fact, I think we’ll be learning about each other for quite a long time. I look forward to all of it.”

You squeezed his hand in returned. “So do I.”

To get your own Monster Match, buy me a Kofi!

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal.

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Monster Match #Tikbalang #Phillippine Mythology

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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years

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52 Pickups

Piper stepped out into the brisk fall air from the high school. As she shared goodbyes with the rest of her therapy group members, she checked her cell. Shit. 3 missed calls from Hotch. She dialled him as she fumbled with the keys to her bike. “Hey, we’ve got a case. Todd wants us in the brief room in 5.”

“Hotch, I’m gonna need at least 15 minutes. You know what DC traffic is like.”

“You’ve got exactly 10 minutes.”

“Thanks, Hotch.” Piper sighed as she put on her helmet. She raced into the bullpen, throwing her stuff at Anderson and grabbing the bagel he stretched out to her, sprinting into the conference room as she yelled out a thank you to the agent. She skidded into her seat, panting, as Hotch walked in with Rossi. The latter narrowed his eyes at her as he sat down while Hotch motioned for Todd to start the briefing. Piper almost choked on her bagel at the sight of a young woman face down on the carpet, crimson blood leaching into the carpet. She tried gulping down her coffee to force the starchy substance down her throat even though she desperately didn’t want to eat.

A few weeks ago, she might have thought Spencer had nerves of steel the way he talked about disembowelment, but now she knew better than that. She knew Spencer had his own share of traumas, that pictures paled in comparison to watching it happen live. She reflected on this as they packed up to head towards the airport. Usually, Piper, Spencer and Morgan would head to the airport together, but Spencer was being distant to her. So, she opted for Emily and Rossi’s SUV, though a little packed with Jordan in tow. It was a lot more fun than the other car though, she noted to herself as they sang offkey to Billy Joel and ABBA instead of reviewing the case file as she’d usually do.

“You know, disembowelment was popular with Egyptian treatment of the dead,” Piper mentioned to Emily as they filed into the plane.

“Yeah, you don’t normally hear disembowelment and popular in the same sentence.” Piper chuckled.

“Well, it’s true. They’d extract the intestines and the liver but then they’d sew it back up. They even pulled the brain out—”

“Guys,” Rossi interrupted, “Do we not see enough gore on a daily basis for you two to be discussing this?” Piper snorted but fell silent as she reviewed the file. Piper couldn’t stomach looking at the pictures, instead focusing on the situational details. They’d predicted some form of OCD, but with the ammonia found under the victim’s fingernails, it was more likely he was making them clean up after he disembowelled them, then slitting their throats after. She was a little surprised when Derek sat next to her instead of Spencer but pushed the thought away as they discussed the case. While Spencer and Emily discussed the small details, such as the placement of the cleaning supplies, Rossi pointed out to the group that the change in victimology from high-risk to low risk victims was too significant to brush past. “This guy started with prostitutes— a high-risk victimology. Took a year off, came back, killed a socialite. No forced entry, no coercion of any kind. So how does our unsub go from loser of the year to Don Juan?”

“Actually, as Byron interpreted him,” Spencer piped up, “Don Juan was an ironic reversal of sex roles. And when— th--that's about it,” he stammered as he caught Hotch’s stare and Emily snickered as they continued.

“We have to build two profiles, then—” Hotch told the team. “One for the unsub who killed prostitutes, one for the unsub who goes to clubs.”

“We've never done that before,” Emily pointed out.

“Prentiss is right. The victimology is so different, we'll treat them as separate unsubs and see what overlaps. Reid, Bishop, work up a geographic profile, focus on location of the murders. Prentiss and Rossi, concentrate on the prostitutes. Jordan, Morgan, and I will go deal with Vanessa Holden.” Derek and Spencer left to grab coffee as Emily leaned over to whisper to Piper.

“So why were you late?”

“I was asleep,” Piper shrugged nonchalantly.

“At 11 am? Yeah, right.” Emily leaned back as she crossed her arms, a satisfied smirk on her face.

“What’s with the face?”

“I think I know what’s going on.”

“Really, Em? What’s going on?”

“Easy. You have a boyfriend.”

“Do not,” Piper pulled a face at her as Derek approached.

“My ears are tingling. You got a new boyfriend Pipes?”

“Relax. I do not have a boyfriend.”

“Then where were you this morning?” Emily cornered. Piper stammered, her brain overheating as she became increasingly conscious of the stares around her. “C’mon, Pipes, we’re like family. You can tell us.” Piper exhaled.

“I can’t. So, back off,” she warned, her voice low, oblivious to the crushed expression on Spencer’s face.

“Oh, come on.” Derek whined. “How bad could it be? Just admit it. You’ve been happier lately, smiling more, you’re always on your phone, you’re late to work at least once a week.”

“So what? How does that prove anything?”

“She just answered a question with a question!” Emily pointed out jubilantly. Exasperated, she shoved past the two and made her way to the couch, ignoring the team as she started reading her book. As they landed, Piper pointedly ignored Emily and Derek on her way to the SUV with a silent Spencer.

At the local precinct, Jordan introduced the lead detective to Hotch, Morgan, Reid and Bishop and they watched footage of the night, pointing out how he obscured his face. Hotch’s eyebrows furrowed at the conflicting witness statements as well as the family’s refusal to cooperate. As Jordan called Garcia to work on resolving that issue, Hotch and Piper left for the Holden residence while Morgan stayed behind to work cognitive interviews with the more detailed statements.

Piper chewed on the inside of her cheek as she glanced at the lavish residence when Mrs Holden walked down, readjusting her glasses. “I'm sorry you came all the way out here. It's a waste of time,” the older woman announced coldly. “Ashley knows absolutely nothing, and we want to get this behind us as soon as possible.” Hotch nodded subtly to Piper and she stepped forward to talk the woman.

“Mrs Holden, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through.”

“You’re right. You can’t.” Piper nodded and took a deep breath before forging ahead.

“I have a younger sister, has to be a little younger than Ashley,” Piper started. “And losing my mom, it wreaked havoc on our family. We broke apart at the seams, Mrs Holden because we tried to put my mom behind us.”

“I don’t follow,” she murmured nonchalantly.

“Losing our mom was horrible. What was worse was the silence, the closed doors. Days on end where our father wouldn’t even address us. Lucy faced the brunt of it all too. She was so young when it happened, and she hated my mom for leaving.” Piper smiled softly. “I guess my point is, pushing the issue away isn’t going to help anyone and what’s happening to you and your family could happen to someone else. You lost your daughter, don’t let someone else lose theirs, I beg of you.” The woman looked at Piper pensively before threatening Hotch with so many lawsuits he’d drown. Piper chuckled weakly as she and Hotch moved over to the lounge room to meet Ashley. She had taken Vanessa out because of a recent break-up with a boyfriend and the only thing she could really point out was the attitude of the man who killed Vanessa. Garnering all the information they could, the two agents made their way back to the precinct. While Hotch updated Morgan on their newest information, Spencer handed her a cup of coffee before catching the others up on the geographical profile.

“The unsub killed the prostitutes in separate pay-by-the-hour motels in Fulton County, right there in one of the poorer neighbourhoods the area. Now, Vanessa Holden's apartment was in the Peachtree District, where there's a lot of big money. Based on the geography, he isn't just changing his victimology, he's changed his whole tax bracket.”

“So, he’s climbing the social ladder, might mean he comes from a low socio-economic background,” Piper added as she scribbled on the board. “What about the prostitutes?”

“Both prostitutes were advertised in the newspaper here. Subservient positions, asking males to ‘dominate’ them.” Emily almost laughed in the middle of her update at Piper’s screwed up face. “Cuts out the social interaction of meeting on a street corner.”

“That's a long way from a self-assured unsub who hits the clubs,” Jordan pointed out from her perch on the table.

“Except he took a year off between the murders. Maybe he took that time to change himself,” Hotch asked but Derek shook his head.

“That’s impossible.”

“Why?” Piper asked.

“Well, I mean, you're talking about a total transformation here. I mean how you talk, how you dress, how you think about yourself.”

“Difficult maybe. Not impossible. With the right people and right mindset, you’d be surprised what kinds of transformations people are capable of. Even serial killers.”

“Right people?” Rossi glanced up at her.

“Sure. Whether it be talk therapy, self-help groups, books or just observing behaviour. But he’d have to have a serious trigger to have this serious a transformation.”

“You have to learn how to read people. I mean, what is a pick-up?” Spencer asked. “It's basically just a profile. Decoding cues of interest and recoding similar ones.”

“If you're too obvious, you turn off your target. If you're oblivious, your target moves on to a better profiler,” Piper thought aloud.

“That doesn't sound like something he could do on his own.”

“No. He'd have to go somewhere to learn it. A self-help class maybe?”

“Uh, wait a minute,” Derek stood up. “Come on. An unsub who kills prostitutes. Is he really thinking about signing up for a Tony Robbins seminar?”

“He would if he found a class in the same place that he found the prostitutes,” Rossi pointed out as he handed them a section of the newspaper. Learn how-to pick-up chicks.

“Let’s get some sleep. We’ll hit the self-help centre in the morning. Back to work at 10 am,” Hotch dismissed them and Spencer started packing his things slowly. Piper rolled the whiteboard marker in her fingers as she walked up to him.

“Hey, is everything cool between us?” Spencer looked at her tentative smile, wondering the same thing. After a while, he nodded as she handed him his satchel.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Guess I just thought we were close enough for you to tell me about some guy you were seeing.”

^-^

She should’ve corrected him, she thought as she gazed over the balcony down to Reid, Derek and Hotch’s pinprick figures next to the splatter of blood. Downstairs, Reid looked right back at her, feeling a pit in his stomach after the way they’d left thing last night. He was interrupted by Derek’s thoughts on the murder. “The preliminary autopsy came back. The victim's name is Becky Williams. She wasn’t disembowelled and what's even weirder is the cleaning supplies were set out, but there was no trace of them on her body.”

“Why would the unsub alter his signature and push her out of an 8-story window?” Spencer asked, staring back up at the window, absent of Piper this time.

“Escalating to sadism maybe?”

“Gutting and cleaning are what he has to do to find release. He wouldn't change that,” Rossi said.

“Well, why not? He's changed everything else about himself,” Derek mumbled as he pensively gazed at the pool of blood at his feet.

Upstairs, Piper was shaken out of her spiralling thoughts by Emily’s voice. “Why did he pull out the cleaning supplies and then not use them?”

“In all the other scenes, the bottles were arranged in a precise order. Here they're just part of the mess.”

“Maybe she fought back.” Piper nodded.

“And when Becky went over the railing, his routine had been compromised because he knew the police would respond.”

“Or she could have jumped,” Emily thought aloud. “Her nervous system was pumping adrenaline. Her fight or flight response kicks in.”

“He’s struck two Fridays in a row, and if his routine's been interrupted, it might compel him to strike again.”

“It's Saturday. The clubs will be packed tonight,” Emily said as Piper groaned.

“I hate clubs,” she grimaced as they walked back down the stairs to join the boys who were still staring at the pool of blood. Hotch looked up as he saw the girls’ approach.

“We need to take a look at the classes the unsub might have taken, generate a suspect pool as soon as possible.” Piper and Emily nodded, and they shifted over to Piper’s bike. Spencer watched as Piper made sure Emily was secure before turning the key in the ignition and speed off towards the precinct. “Reid, get a copy of the sketch to Garcia, have her run it through Photoshop, get her to add in the different peacock feathers he’s using.” Spencer nodded, walking off, cell in hand.

Emily and Piper approached Hotch who was watching Jordan’s press release on the screen in the precinct. “Hey, boss!” Emily called as she held out a newspaper ad. “Of the 20 self-described pickup artist classes in the area, there's only one guy who encourages his students to dress like, uh, space cowboys. Are you ready to meet Viper?”

“Go and check it out,” he ordered and turned back to the screen.

“Hold on, you want us there?” Piper asked him. “Two armed female FBI agents with a pick-up artist?”

“That sounds like a bad idea, even for me,” Emily scoffed but they practically sprinted away after seeing Hotch’s glare.

^-^

Piper watched incredulously as the man in a steampunk-esque outfit rattled on about predator and prey. “Men are put on this earth to hunt women. And even though women deny it, they want to be hunted. They need it. It's part of our biological imperative as animals. And the competition the opposite sex puts you through— Pitting you against other guys, against your own friends even, it's all to reassure themselves that they have brought home the best possible mate. My job is to help you slash past every defence, every excuse, every, "why don't you meet my friend" trick that they're gonna throw at you. You may not have ripped abs or afford table service, but if you're smarter and... More interesting, then you will be a better predator, because this is the jungle, my friends. And your prey wants to be caught.”

“Could this guy be any more of a dick?” Piper whispered to Emily. “He’s practically training serial killers and rapists.”

“Great. We're dealing with a rampant narcissist and misogynist who's turned himself into a snake oil salesman.” Sighing, they passed the attendants to approach the dickhead in the fluffy hat, flashing their badges.

“Well, ladies, how may I be of service?” He asked greasily. Piper almost flinched at the gruesome eye he gave her, and yet Emily didn’t even blink as he stepped closer, simply moving her hand to her gun visibly.

“You heard of the Vanessa Holden murder?” Viper nodded as he backed off.

“Terrible thing to happen. Such a shame.” Piper snorted.

“Yeah, you look real upset,” she continued. “We think the unsub—that’s unknown subject—took your class.”

“He copied your ‘the camera adds 10 pounds’ routine verbatim,” Emily finished and Viper snorted.

“Yeah, that’s a good gag.”

“A woman is dead because of your ‘gag’. At least show the feds a little remorse,” Piper scolded as she narrowed her eyes at him, ignoring how his eyes raked her figure until Emily stepped forward.

“If you could just give us your attendance lists, it might help us find him.”

“No.”

“No?”

“My clients expect a certain amount of confidentiality. I won't compromise that.”

“We can come back with a warrant,” Piper proposed.

“Be my guest. But keep in mind, the money I make doesn't just pay for my fabulous lifestyle, it also keeps some very expensive lawyers on retainer.”

“What club did you go to last night?” Viper smiled and stepped closer to Piper’s body, leaning in as he gazed into her disgusted eyes.

“It's a legitimate question. You seem to know a lot about our investigation,” Emily interrupted, shoving him back and away from Piper.

“Last night, I was at Club Aqua, and I have a stack of tax-deductible drink receipts to back up my story. Now, you might not want to believe that my style works. And here in this harsh light, you have the advantage. But meet me on my turf... Oh, the things I could make you do.” Piper bit back a retort, instead tugging Emily to the bike outside. She muttered profanities under her breath as she walked back into the precinct with Emily, overlooking Reid’s raised eyebrow to pour herself a cup of tea. Piper turned around with her cup, evidently calmed by simply the scent of warm tea, to see Spencer storm off somewhere as Emily turned from him to her cell phone, probably on call with Garcia. She almost yelped when Hotch silently slid up behind her.

“Jesus, Hotch. Yell or something next time.”

“We need to start building a linguistic profile. Garcia’ll send you and Reid everything Viper teaches. Rossi’s coming in with a possible witness.” Piper nodded as he walked away grimly. She felt a twinge of sadness for the man as she placed her cup of tea on the desk and went to find Spencer.

He was pacing outside in front of the precinct while Derek stood with his arms crossed, watching his best friend bemusedly. “Kid, calm down. It’s just some ass hat.”

“Yeah, some ass hat that practically came on to Piper.”

“Spencer, relax. You honestly believe Piper can’t hold her own? Do you not remember the San Diego case? They guy’s gonna have to get plastic surgery to get his nose right again. Just relax and focus on the profile.” Spencer nodded as Derek clapped him on the shoulder and turned him around to the precinct just as Piper popped into view.

“Hey, Spence! Hotch wants us to start on the linguistic profile. Hurry up!”

^-^

Derek stood staunched in the corner next to Spencer in front of the whiteboard. From her perch on the table, Piper glanced at Emily who started giving the profile. “Our unsub is a confident alpha male. He is white. He's between the ages of 25 and 30. He's in excellent physical shape to overpower women and also to feed his self-image.” From his seat next to the coffee machine, Rossi continued.

“He has an obsession with cleaning. He probably works in some service industry, wiping up after others, convinced everyone looks down at him. His change in himself and his victimology reflects that. This is the kind of guy who wants to stand out in a crowd.”

“He's taken a class in how-to pick-up women. So, he'll repeat a series of well-rehearsed lines and mind games. He may be uneducated, but he's by no means stupid,” Piper added as Spencer moved closer to her to continue.

“Taking this class has given him the ability to read verbal cues and body language. One classic routine the viper promotes is called the push-pull. He'll insert himself between two women and immediately after complimenting one, He'll deliver a subtle insult, then pay attention to the other.” Scratching his neck, Spencer leaned in close to Piper. “Those are really nice earrings. I like those.” Despite herself, Piper blushed.

“Thanks.”

“My grandmother wears a lot of fake jewellery as well. It looks nice,” Spencer said as he straightened. “Ignoring the one man puts her in direct competition with her friend and causes the other to pursue you more aggressively. I was just demonstrating,” he said before apologising to a smiling Piper.

“Well, we've mapped the hot spots he hits, and he frequents the same clubs that the Viper does, so we need eyes and ears in every single one. Circulate the sketch as widely as possible. We'll need everyone aware that there's a killer out there. Thank you very much,” the lead detective finished and dismissed the group, leaving the team to start packing up for the night.

“I think I might just stay home and man the tip line tonight,” Spencer voiced his concern to Hotch. “Clubs aren't really my thing.”

“Hey, if Spence gets to stay, so do I,” Piper whined until Emily gave her a look.

“Not a chance, kid. I need a wingman.”

“Actually, there is another angle we need to pursue,” Rossi added. “We still don't know what made the unsub change his victimology, what made him stop killing prostitutes and move into the clubs.”

“The answer might be something in Viper's class,” Reid suggested.

“But to figure that out, we need to profile the teacher. You need to bait him, then, with someone he sees as a challenge,” Hotch caught on.

“We need to study his style up close and personal,” Piper smirked. “It's gonna take someone that he's already attracted to.” The five agents turned to Emily who groaned as soon as she felt all eyes on her.

“Ugh, this is really gonna suck.” Piper beamed as she guided her friend to the locker room. “Wait, Pipes, I didn’t bring a party dress.”

“Then you’re gonna love me.” Piper pulled out two dresses from her go-bag.

“Why do you even have those?”

“Emergencies. I come prepared. Always.” She said beaming at her best friend.

^-^

Spencer wasn’t lying when he said clubs weren’t his thing, because they really weren’t. The pulsing lights made his head hurt. The stench of booze and sweat made his minor OCD flare up. Never mind the fact that he never had luck with women. Even if they deigned to talk to him, he somehow managed to turn them all away without meaning to. Long story short, he wasn’t a club kind of guy which made his tight friendship with Derek all the more intriguing. After all, Derek was the king of clubs, a joke that would’ve made Piper cry with laughter. He noted to tell that joke to her later as his serial killer statistics turned away yet another group of girls. He turned around, all of his assigned flyers still grasped in his hand, to find Derek empty-handed. He barely heard Derek’s voice under the blaring speakers. “So, how's it going?”

“Not good. I gave the profile to one woman, she asked if I was the unsub. How are you doing?”

“Well, I gave out all my fliers.”

“And how many phone numbers did you get?”

“None. I'm working a case here, kid.” Spencer only had to give him a knowing look for Derek to come clean. “Okay, 4 were offered, but I didn't take any of them.” Spencer just looked sour. “Hey, this’ll cheer you up. Emily’s about to flirt with that dick from the self-help class.” He turned to follow Derek’s gaze and found Emily wearing a midnight blue dress with thin straps adorning her otherwise bare shoulders. As she stirred her drink, his gaze flitted over to Piper who was clearly uncomfortable but pretending to have fun. But he couldn’t say he didn’t find her attractive, not with that deep maroon dress that hugged her frame, leaving her almond shoulders bare, her acorn necklace lounging above her chest. “All right. Look, let me school you really quick.” Derek murmured as he gripped his shoulder. “What you have to do with these ladies, just take control of the conversation. When you're talking, what makes you feel like an expert?”

“Statistics.” He said confidently, but Derek only seemed to look exasperated. He thought for a moment, recalling how excited Piper had been after his physics magic. “Um, well, when I do magic.”

“See? See, that's perfect. Chicks dig magic. I'm gonna give you a chance to work it. Come here.” Derek guided his best friend towards the bartender. “Excuse me, sweetheart. Whenever you get a chance.” She was pretty with dark brown curls framing her face.

“What can I get you?”

“We’re with the FBI. We're looking for this man.” Derek motioned for Spencer to start.

“Does he look at all familiar to you?” Spencer pushed a flyer towards her as Derek disappeared in the crowd.

“It's not much of a picture.”

“I know. You know what might help, actually, is he has a scar on his eye right about there.” Reid pulled out a pen and stabbed it into the paper. “We also know that he's taken classes where he's learned how to distract,” he said, dragging the pen across the flyer as he spoke without leaving a single rip, “and charm his victim.” As he finished speaking, Spencer pulled the pen from the paper.

“Okay. How did you do that?”

“That's privileged information.” Spencer said, smiling, oblivious to the daggers Piper was glaring from behind him.

“So, what do I do if I see him?”

“You should call us. Even if you just think you see him, you should definitely call us.”

“And if I don't see him... Can I still call you?”

“Yeah. Yeah. You can call me. Yeah. Okay. Cool,” Spencer waved at her before he turned away.

“Wait,” she called out. “I don't have your number.”

“Oh, it's behind your barrette,” he said casually before turning to Derek.

“See? There you go. That's what I'm talking about. That's called game.” Derek said, beaming as he clapped Spencer on the shoulder, who couldn’t help smiling either. Piper, on the other hand, couldn’t smile even if she tried. Not only was her dress ridiculously uncomfortable, but she felt a strange feeling in her stomach as she watched Spencer flirt with the bartender. She turned in her seat to see Viper far too close to Emily for her to possibly be comfortable and so she moved in.

“Piper, you remember Viper? God’s gift to women?”

“God must have a sense of humour. I’d say it’s a pleasure, but it really isn’t.” Piper smiled disdainfully as she sipped her soda.

“What was it he said? If we met him on his turf?”

“Oh yes,” Piper chuckled. “Something along the lines of the ‘things he would make us do’. So, Viper, who gets pushed and who gets pulled tonight?” He chuckled at their unamused faces. He leaned in to Piper’s face, the stench of booze repulsing her.

“You see, eye contact is a very powerful gauge. It's why you tend to look away from someone you're attracted to because you know instinctively what a dead giveaway it is. But your brain goes there anyway. Images, fantasies.”

“So, a narcissistic misogynist who’s also delusional,” Piper beamed. “That has got to be a hat trick, Paul.”

“The eyes don't lie. They dilate. It's a chemical response. We can't control it.” Emily laughed.

“Kay, 15 seconds.” Piper straightened, swiping her hair away from her face. “Nope, nothing.”

“I guess chemically we're not a match,” Piper laughed.

“Only because you have someone else on the mind.” Piper smile faded immediately. “Once that happens, the attraction centre in the brain shuts down.” She covered her shock with a snort.

“Paul, I'm baffled. I cannot figure out what the unsub could have learned from you.”

“What do you mean? He took my look, my words, everything that makes me successful to the opposite sex.”

“Really? Because that guy can get beautiful women into his apartment,” Emily pointed out. “I wouldn't let you on my Facebook page.”

“I gave him the routines that made him what he is.”

“It must all be in the salesmanship then. 'Cause we've been watching all the women in the club. And not one of them has looked at you. So, who do you really go home with, Paul? Or--or do you go home alone?” Emily asked, mock sympathy laced in her tone. Except he simply laughed.

“That was really good, ladies. That was really good. Don't you think I know why you're here? One of my students copies my moves, and you're here to get inside my mind. Don't you see? I confronted my queen bee a long time ago.”

“What's a queen bee?” Emily asked him, her smile dropping from her face like a brick.

“You are. And so is every other confident girl in here who's loud when she's drunk. The social butterfly, the alpha female. Every student who's ever taken my class has had one in his life. And the first exercise my students have to complete is to confront their queen bee. It could be the girl who cheated on you or the prom date who stood you up. But you find them and squash them.” Viper’s words settled in Piper’s head and with a glance at Emily, the grabbed their things and rushed out.

“Our unsub knew Vanessa Holden,” Emily announced through the cell as they left the club.

“How do you know?” Hotch asked through the cell.

“It's Viper's first confidence building exercise. Find the source of your first rejection and make her pay for it.”

“That's why he stopped seeing prostitutes. He took Viper's class and decided to confront Vanessa Holden.”

“It makes sense with what he said to Vanessa that night. ‘Don't you know who I am? Look closer.’ He meant it literally,” Piper called through the phone as they moved to the SUV.

“Alright. Good work ladies. Rossi and I’ll tackle the family.” As Hotch turned the cell off, Piper turned to Emily.

“I may set fire to this dress if I have to stay in it any longer. This night better end soon.” They turned back into the venue to keep an eye out for the unsub. They split up to different ends of the club as Derek kept to the dance floor. Piper caught Spencer’s eye over at the booths on the side as she twirled her straw near the bartender. She fingered her necklace as she kept scanning the crowd, her eye catching a green dress a few feet away and the man in front of her holding her hand. More importantly, she caught the scar above his right eye. Grabbing her untouched whiskey, Piper strolled over to the couple, pretending to stumble as she let the whiskey pour over the dress. “I’m so sorry. Some jerk just shoved me out of nowhere. Are you okay?”

“What the hell?” The blonde yelled before turning to the man with a vice-like grip on her wrist. “Hey, you’re holding on to me kind of tight.”

“We're leaving.”

“Hey, you probably have some club soda in the back, right? So, she could clean that up. Just like magic,” Piper prompted the bartender, hoping she understood her message.

“Yeah. Uh… yeah, come on back.”

“Yeah. Why don't you let me do that?” Piper smiled at the grim man and trailed a forefinger across his arm as the other two left.

“Tell me something. A man as intelligent as you, wouldn’t you want a more… capable woman rather than some dumb blonde?” Piper asked, a smile twitching on her lips as she tried to make eye contact with her team. “I mean, who would ever believe that love line bullcrap?” The man was still tense but painted a relaxed look on his face.

“So, what do you believe?”

“Me? I think we are who we choose to be.” Piper’s nails danced from his elbow to his shoulder, desperately trying to keep her voice measured. “Doesn’t matter where we come from or destiny. I’d like to believe I can control who I am, don’t you?” He smiled.

“Why don’t we get out of here?”

“Really?” Piper beamed, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Okay,” she giggled, hooking her arm around his. He guided her out as Piper shot one last desperate look for Spencer, but he didn’t see her. She played a smile as he opened up his car door, even keeping a hand on his thigh as he drove, her heart pounding in her chest. She prayed someone saw her leave, that someone was following her. But no-one saw her leave, no-one was following her. She was all alone in an SUV with a murderer. She hoped that she could just keep up the pretence of being an idiot for a wild. Shouldn’t be too hard seeing as you got yourself here. She mentioned something about how pretty stars were, just to keep the flow up. Except suddenly she was in a secluded street in Fulton County and the car had stopped. She glanced sweetly at the tall, dark stranger’s glower towards her.

“I’m not an idiot,” he murmured.

“Why would you say that?” Piper unwillingly moved her hand back to his thigh as she spoke.

“Why are you carrying a Glock?”

“I uhh… All right.” Piper chuckled weakly. “You got me. I’m a woman alone in a club and someone is murdering multiple women. I was worried. I bought a gun. Just in case,” she leaned in to meet the man’s lips, just hovering above them, her right hand snaking around his neck, “I ever meet someone like you,” she whispered, pulling out her gun at the same time as she shoved his nose into the steering wheel. She pushed the car door open, thankful he hadn’t locked it and raised her Glock at him through the car window.

Meanwhile, the team realised that Piper had gone missing and they gathered around the precinct. They had extracted a name from the Holdens, Bobby, and were now narrowing it down from Viper’s attendance records. While Hotch ordered SWAT to meet them at 932 Pryor Street, Piper kept Robert in the back of the car, handcuffed, as she drove to the precinct and while the team raided the empty house, Piper entered the empty precinct, handing the unsub over to the second detective on the case. While Piper changed into a cream woolly jumper paired with slacks, Spencer paced outside the house. Hotch ordered them to troop back to the station to formulate a plan, only for them to find her spinning in a chair, chewing on an apple next to the pile of boxes. Before she could formulate a phrase, Emily had already tackled her. Spencer breathed a sigh of relief to see her okay and waving at him with a goofy smile. He also watched the smile falter and the wave halt as her eyes fell on the pretty bartender from the club. While she half-heartedly celebrated another closed case with her team, Spencer pulled the bartender, Austin, aside to say goodbye. As she left after giving Spencer a kiss on the cheek, he turned around to see Piper nursing her shoulder away from the others. “Everything okay?” he asked her.

“Peachy.” She said, smiling weakly.

“Your shoulder.”

“Ehh,” she unsuccessfully waved it off. “It’s fine, just twinges every so often.” Spencer nodded, still feeling a large wall between them. But before he could turn away, Piper pulled on his cardigan sleeve. “Spencer, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve…I’ve been going to therapy,” her voice was uneven, and he finally noticed her shaking.

“So?” Piper just blinked at him. “Cognitive Behavioural Therapy alone is 50-75% effective for overcoming depression and anxiety after 5 – 15 modules.” Piper chuckled. “What?”

“Nothing, you just haven’t said something interesting all day. I saw Hotch trying to cut through your opinion on Don Juan.” Spencer just brushed it off, but inside, he felt…fuzzy. That was new.

“Well, I could regale you with Don Juan, but I think you need some sleep. Want me to drop you off at the hotel?”

“Ugh, yes, please.” Despite the hotel only being a few minutes away, Piper was already fast asleep in the SUV, her right hand falling into Spencer’s lap accidentally. It killed Spencer to wake her up, but he didn’t have to as she woke up panting, squeezing his thigh gently. She shook her head and kissed Spencer’s cheek before she left, walking slowly into the hotel. In the dark, he blushed, smiling.

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ts1989fanatic · 4 years

Text

Taylor Swift is the millennial Bruce Springsteen.

If there were any doubts about this, they should have been dispelled by her latest release: the haunting Folklore, which filters the exact kinds of story-songs Springsteen excels at through Swift’s modern, orchestral-pop aesthetic. The album has been one of the best-received of her career, but then, the response to essentially everything she’s produced since her 2010 album Speak Now has involved critics grudgingly being dragged toward having respect for her skills.

The overlaps between millennial Swift (30 and born in 1989) and baby boomer Springsteen (70 and born in 1949) — both of whom are among the best songwriters alive right now — are considerable beyond their songwriting prowess. But comparisons, by necessity, must start there.

Both musicians love songs about a kind of white Americana that’s never really existed but that the central characters of which feel compelled to chase anyway. They use those songs to tell stories about those people and the places they live. They’re terrifically good at wordplay. Both are fascinated by the ways that adolescence and memories of adolescence continue to have incredible power for adults. Both are amazing at crafting bridges that take already good songs to another level. And both write songs featuring fictional people whose lives are sketched in via tiny, intimate details that stand in for their whole selves.

For example: The opening lines to Springsteen’s “Thunder Road” (“The screen door slams / Mary’s dress waves / Like a vision she dances across the porch / as the radio plays”) tell you everything about that woman and the man observing her.

Similarly, the opening lines of Swift’s “All Too Well” (“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold / but something ‘bout it felt like home somehow and I / left my scarf there at your sister’s house / and you still got it in your drawer even now”) tell you everything about this doomed relationship and the nostalgia both people involved in it still feel, compressed into a tiny little stanza.

Springsteen released “Thunder Road” when he was 25; Swift released “All Too Well” when she was 22. Both songs continue to stand as touchstones for who the artists were at that point in their lives.

But leave this comparison aside for a moment. What’s most interesting about drawing this connection are the ways in which the overlap between Springsteen and Swift’s styles can tell us about how our culture treats art made by men versus art made by women — and art made by baby boomers versus art made by millennials.

Springsteen and Swift each entered the music industry as young wunderkinds with lots to prove. Springsteen’s first album — the loose and rambling Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. — was released when he was just 23. He had been playing in bands all around New Jersey for most of his teens, and signed a record deal with Columbia Records at 22.

He was expected to become an acoustic folk singer in the vein of Bob Dylan, at a time when the music industry was uniquely preoccupied with finding the “next” Bob Dylan. Springsteen quickly flaunted those expectations, assembling a group of musicians who would go on to be known as the E Street Band, in the name of creating a sound that captured a massive, orchestral blast of rock. Springsteen would finally perfect this sound on his third album, 1975’s Born to Run, and he’s been a global superstar ever since, even decades after reaching his pinnacle with 1984’s Born in the USA.

Swift’s rise was slightly more meteoric. She released her debut album, Taylor Swift, when she was just 16, and it featured songs that she had written as a freshman in high school. Swift broke into the industry via country music, and her country-ish second album, 2008’s Fearless, won her the Grammy for Album of the Year.

Just as Springsteen shirked folk in the name of rock, Swift’s sound quickly shifted away from the girl-with-a-guitar country archetype and more toward pop. By her fourth album, 2012’s Red, she had largely left country music behind.

(A fun game: If you line up Swift and Springsteen’s album releases roughly by how old they were when they recorded them, you’ll find surprisingly similar career trajectories. For instance, Born to Run and Swift’s 2014 album 1989 were released when their respective artists were 25. Both broke the artists through to even wider acclaim than they had before.)

Yet the two artists’ backgrounds are quite different, which may explain the different ways in which they’ve understood American political divides. Springsteen grew up in a blue-collar family in New Jersey, while Swift is the daughter of a former Merrill Lynch stockbroker who could afford to move the entire family to Nashville, Tennessee, when his daughter showed a talent for songwriting.

Springsteen’s songs have always reflected growing up in a world where poverty is just a lost paycheck away, even as he’s become incredibly rich. Swift has no such perspective. Her songs take place largely in a wistful world where money is rarely an object. And the artists came of age in very different political climates, too.

But the political divide has narrowed in recent years. Swift has taken a recent turn toward more political topics — particularly social justice issues involving the mistreatment of women and LGBTQ rights. That turn stems from her struggles to differentiate herself as an artist in an industry that routinely turns young, beautiful women into disposable products, wringing out of them a few years of hit singles and then tossing them aside. Her embrace of the ways her growing sense of (extremely white) feminism helped her attain more artistic control over her image has slowly but surely led to a greater understanding of the yawning disparities inherent to the US. She is more tapped into the ways that power is unequally distributed throughout American society and increasingly speaks out to that effect. (She’s still pretty lousy at confronting class issues, though.)

But even with all of their similarities as songwriters and increasing similarities as explicitly political artists — and even with all of the awards they have won and records they have sold — there’s still a knee-jerk insistence that Swift is either too self-obsessed or too much a creation of the music industry, while Springsteen went from being rock’s heir apparent to an elder statesman with only a few bumps along the way. And the reasons for that disparity go well beyond any artistic differences or similarities they might possess.

The most obvious difference between the reception of Springsteen and Swift is also the most obvious difference between the two of them as people: He is a man, and she is a woman.

Swift didn’t exactly discourage listeners from constantly parsing her lyrics to figure out which of her famous exes she was singing about early in her career; she even hid hints in her liner notes to help fans decode her clues. But the degree to which she was written off, for years, as a fundamentally unserious and self-involved artist reflects the ways in which domestic and romantic concerns are written off as unimportant when women talk about them.

By comparison, Springsteen has so many songs about teenage boys crushing on teenage girls, but few people try to figure out who he’s talking about when he mentions the almost mythical “Mary” in songs throughout his career. Perhaps it’s because he wasn’t dating famous people as a teenager, and perhaps because it’s sadly still too common to think a man singing about an adolescent crush has more artistic merit than a woman doing the same thing.

Even in the wake of Folklore’s release, many corners of the music-discussing internet insist upon talking about the album more in terms of Swift’s male collaborators — namely Aaron Dessner of The National and Justin Vernon (a.k.a. Bon Iver), both indie-rock royalty — than in terms of her own talents, even when, say, Dessner does a whole interview with Pitchfork talking extensively about Swift’s preternatural songwriting talents. The idea that Taylor Swift has somehow been “created” by someone is one that seems to persist, regardless of how much control she has over her own image.

But the ways in which people doubt Swift’s talent, or her control over her image, reflect larger questions about how baby boomers remade pop culture in their image versus how millennials continue to do.

Baby boomers were born into the era of radio’s dominance over American airwaves, and television entered their lives during their childhoods. The presence of these mass media influenced how much pop culture boomers could be exposed to, pushing into hyperdrive the artistic loop of influence becoming creation. American popular art exploded and proliferated as a result.

Whether that explosion led to the rise of rock and pop music or the invention of the cinematic blockbuster, baby boomers took the popular forms their parents adored and accelerated them toward something more raucous and purely entertaining.

The dominant new medium of millennials’ lives was the internet, which arrived when we were still very young. And a major element of internet culture is remix culture. From the earliest days of the “information superhighway,” jokes that mashed up disparate elements of pop culture — now we’d call them memes — were incredibly common, because the central idea of the internet has always been many people iterating on an idea rather than one person releasing that idea into the world.

Inherent to this kind of remixing is the idea of transforming something, often something disreputable, into something else. Thus, many of the greatest millennial artists work in forms that have previously been written off as unworthy — like, say, pop music — because the gatekeepers in those areas weren’t as likely to be aging baby boomers whose taste was ossifying. (This progression is not all that dissimilar from what the boomers did to the popular culture they were born into.)

Millennial artists grew up amid the splintering of the monoculture and, therefore, feel less of an obligation toward it than older generations might. When all you’ve known are niches, it’s better to try to find a niche that appeals to you and explore it as much as possible, then hope enough people come along for the ride.

Swift’s eagerness to collaborate with other artists who really excite her isn’t a uniquely millennial trait: Artists have been doing this since artists have existed. That she is only too happy to spread that credit around (even as her increasingly well-known “voice memos” that show her coming up with the central ideas behind her songs center her authorship first and foremost) is a testament to how millennial artists feel comfortable with both celebrating their influences and revealing how their art gets built, brick by brick, often thanks to the work of other people.

This is not to say that all baby boomer or millennial artists operate exactly the same way as Springsteen or Swift. Both artists write music that is equal parts heartbreaking and fun, evocative, and ephemeral. They’re constantly searching for their version of an America that does not exist, while not forgetting to make sure that we all have some fun in the one that does.

The impulse they share to tell stories about average Americans searching for meaning amid a crumbling world is a natural one for artists in the US. Yet Springsteen has so often been celebrated for doing just that, his rugged vision of a fading nation and talent for making national crises deeply personal treated as authentic and brilliant.

By comparison, Swift is often derided for how she digs into the ways personal apocalypses visit themselves onto the rest of reality, making her something like Springsteen’s inverse. The struggles she faces are deeply rooted in biases against women, the genre of music she operates in, and her generation. It’s worth reexamining the notions that drive this disparity in the two artists’ reception, if nothing else.

Perhaps we take Springsteen more seriously than Swift because he’s a man, or because all the great rockers of his generation have been venerated by time and nostalgia, or because his influences were men like Chuck Berry and Woody Guthrie instead of Shania Twain, Patsy Cline, and a litany of contemporary collaborators. But one of art’s great pleasures is finding the ways in which artists of different generations talk about the same topics across the span of years.

Bruce Springsteen and Taylor Swift craft their impeccable story-songs utilizing the tropes of very different musical genres. But they’re equally good at crafting songs built to both sing loudly on the freeway and accompany a flood of tears in the wake of some new heartache. Different as they might be, Springsteen and Swift are always talking about the same thing — all of the ways that every new day, no matter how promising, carries within it the potential to bring about the end of the world all over again. Until then, though, let’s sing about it.

ts1989fanatic all of that just to Tell us something swifties have known for years, the music industry is sexist and misogynistic DUH!!!

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #291

“clothes trailing from the backdoor, to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

What was the last health scare you had? So I got blood tests done recently to check multiple things, and I got pretty nervous when my doctor stood beside me going through the numbers and what they meant. I was afraid she was going to tell me I had diabetes (runs in the fam, and my diet hadn't been great) or something, but I was fine. What is your favorite food to cook? Something in the microwave lmao. Do you listen to bluegrass music? Ew. What was the last novel you read about? Well it' s part of a series so it'd be hard to explain briefly... but dragons. That'll do ig, lol. If there is a tree right outside your window, what kind is it? There's a small one. Idk what it is. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. What is your favorite thing to draw? If you take a look at my work history... I apparently love drawing meerkats screaming for one reason or another lmao. Do you like abstract art? Not very much. There are of course exceptions to this, but it's definitely not my favorite and sometimes doesn't even feel like "art" to me. Would you ever want to be a painter? No. My Painting course in school taught me it's too damn stressful, the idea of messing up. Even though it's technically fixable. There's just a lot about painting I don't like. I'd much rather draw and color traditionally. What is your passion? Some of my biggest consists of gay rights (or really just equal rights as a whole), meerkats, pacifism, photography, just art in general, stuff like that. I feel things very deeply, so there's really a lot. What fascinates you? NATURE!!!!!!! SO MUCH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Do you have art on your walls? In my room, I have three of my meerkat projects on the wall with my meerkat collection, and my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun overlap drawing is with my Silent Hill stuff. What kind of collection would you like to start? I have a decent amount of stuff, but I really would love to pump up my SH collection. It has SO much merch that I would die for, stuff is just mad expensive. If I was to start a new collection, bitch I need Markiplier stuff so bad, I'm too awkward to ask for that shit for holidays 'n stuff. ;;_;; Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I sure do. If you had the money, would you travel the world? I feel like I'd go to less locations than most people you could ask this question, but I'd definitely go places, yeah. If you could travel the world, which country would you want to go to first? South Africa. Make my meerkat dreams come true. :') Do you get drunk? I haven't before, and I don't actually aim to when I drink (which is very rare) and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I doubt I ever will. Don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly. Do you get high? Nah. Have you ever used a prescription medication to get high? No. Does sunlight make you happier? Guys. This is science. I used to hate the sun so much, but it's good for you. Open your windows on a clear day; your body will thank you. It takes getting used to, but please, don't coop yourself up in the dark. Do you live a boring life? My life is excruciatingly boring. Like not to sound depressing, but half the time I wish I wasn't even alive because I'm so bored lmao. Have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? Do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse? No, but it's been threatened upon me. I don't support it, no, but then again I don't believe in traditional "profanity." My hypothetical four-year-old could say "that fucking hurt" in our own household, and just a simple word indicating (s)he was really in pain wouldn't faze me for a blink. I do believe out of respect though, that you should educate your children when "profanity" isn't allowed, like in school and such. You don't shove potentially toxic shit into your kid's mouth to teach them something. What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore? This definitely depends on the child. Are they spooked easily? How mature are they? Do they understand what's not to be replicated? It would vary with the film, too. Do you have any wind chimes outside your house? How many? No, but I'd love to. Wind chimes are great. Do you have a flat stomach? Would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off? I hate my stomach more than I do any other part of my body, so guess. Would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)? omfg hell YES Do you think your biological parents love each other? They're long-divorced and Dad's been remarried for a long time while Mom only has negative shit to say about him, so like... What's one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet? *Dying* to, I don't know if one exists. Birds of Prey probably tops my want-to-see list, though. Harley moving past Joker? Girl you fuckin go ilu. What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me because of my illnesses. Nope, he sure didn't. Does thunder & storms scare you? Nah, not usually. It's funny, I was TERRIFIED of them as a kid, especially if I wasn't with my mom, but now I find them beautiful and sometimes even relaxing. Now, wind, I fucking hate wind. I associate bad winds with tornadoes, so fuck outta here w/ that. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. Do you sing in front of people? NO. Who are you the most uncomfortable around? Groups of older men. Are your parents overprotective? No. A recent creation that you’re proud of? I took family pictures for a repeat client recently, and I'm really happy with how some came out. Who’s your favorite comedian? Living, I'm unsure. It was John Pinette. What makes you squeamish? Vomit and fecal matter top the list. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Maybe a couple that I don't know too well? Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? No. I see a lot of potential problems with that should it become a serious thing. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? Probably my dad. What’s a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? A snake. I was eventually allowed though obviously, and now Mom loves Venus, though she won't hold her. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? It's not my job to change anyone else. You have to want to change. Has your house ever been broken into? No, but my childhood home almost was by a gang. My older sister and her best friend were home alone at the time. Thank fuck they didn't get in, but they left a gang flag on our porch. Would you consider yourself a good flirt? I have no idea. What color do you wear most often? You mean to tell me black isn't the only primary color in people's wardrobes? Do you like your hair? Disregarding the fact it gets oily way too fast, yes. Have you ever driven while under the influence? No, I would absolutely never. Did you enjoy your last kiss? Yeah. Would you ever take boudoir photos for a significant other? (or have you?) Considering I literally love boudoir, I would if I didn't hate the fuck outta my body and would be too embarrassed to ever do it. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Maybe makeup guru channels lmaooo. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but actually ending up enjoying? I'm unsure. I don't really go into watching a movie I think I'll hate, especially when I watch so few movies to begin with. Do you like where you live? I'm not a fan of the suburbs, but it's a better place than where we were. Are you a jealous person? I'm learning that apparently I might be, at least sometimes. Is there anyone you want to fix things with? There are a few. Last time you walked further than a block? I couldn't tell you. I walk a few feet (that's not an exaggeration) and am in pain because of the muscle atrophy in my legs. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NO. NUH-UH. NOPE. Do you get dessert normally while out to eat? No. Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever found a stray dog & found its owners? Not that I recall. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not everything, no. When was the last time you told someone you love them? Last night. Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed? Ma. When was the last time that you were genuinely happy? Good damn question. Have you ever dyed your hair? Plenty of times. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I don't know; when you hate your body enough, you'll do a lot to avoid that. Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? Yes. Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No. A conceited asshole is the last kind of person I'm dating. Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Well I mean what's the vibe lmao Do you like to cuddle? Yeah, if we're a close couple and it's not too hot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nah. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I wish we could, but even if he was willing, I don't think "friendship" is possible between us. What is something “cheesy” that you own? Ha, I have this feminine-looking "she believed she could so she did" wall decor thing... I can't remember if I bought it or if it was gifted. What is something that gets your creative juices flowing? MUSIC!!! What drink are you most likely to order at a bar? Some kind of margarita. What is the most interesting class that you took in high school or college? Mythology, I guess? When was the last time that you’ve ever played Spin the Bottle? I never have to begin with. If you were an adult film star or a stripper, what would your stage name be? I can't even try to entertain this question. Even if I WANTED to be one, I would never be hired. I couldn't seriously think of a name. Have you ever wanted to be a cheerleader? No, not even when I was one as a kid lmao. Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it? Yeah. The first one, he couldn't handle my depression anymore. With my last partner, we kinda had a mutual agreement that to save us from potential later heartbreak, we needed to work more on ourselves right now. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Hm. Idk. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Have you ever had lice? No. What is the most childish thing that you still do? I mean, with RP, you could argue that I still "play pretend." Have you ever watched a movie you knew you shouldn’t? As a kid, I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to see whatever Scary Movie film it was when I did, aha. Have you ever wanted to try LARP (Live Action Role-Play)? Nah. I'm awkward enough explaining I just write it. If you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did, what would it be? The "thanks for sending me to the hospital" message to Jason. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever embarrassed you? Jason did before, if we're counting past partners. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? I never thought of that in any relationship, no. Have you ever been caught checking someone out? Not to my recollection. Not that I even do that much. Have you ever cried because you missed your parents so much? Oh, absofuckinglutely as a little kid. I had BAD separation anxiety from my mom. Have you ever posted something on social media that you regret? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever ding dong ditched someone? No. Which is worst: Snakes, scorpions, or spiders? I adore snakes. Some spiders scare me, especially if they catch me by surprise. Scorpions aren't native here, so I've actually never come across one, so I'd probably be more curious than frightened. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? An attic, yeah. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? Has anyone not? Well, I suppose this depends on your environment. Playing outside in the country as a kid a lot, and especially walking through tall grass to reach fishing spots with Dad, I've had lots. I'm terrified of parasites so those were never fun times. What color is your mom’s car? White. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? No. How high off the ground is your bed? The average, ig. What is the cutest breed of dog? That's such a hard question, but I think I tend to lean towards pugs, though I don't support breeding them or any other type that is a medical catastrophe. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Holding a conversation. I call BS. What does your bedside lamp look like? It's a creamy color with a floral design. It was already here at the house when we moved in. Do you like your neighbors? I don't know them. Does your room need to be cleaned? I need to finish decorating it... and dust the dresser. What was the last bug you saw? Ugh, a fucking ant. This house has had an ant problem before, and now they're showing up in my room here and there. Do you place any value in gender roles? Literally zero. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Well, I suppose it would depend on the person. How strong is that platonic relationship? Are you in love? Do you want to be? I don't think *in* love anymore, no; I reasoned myself out of that. I think most people WANT to be in the name of companionship, and being a pretty hopeless romantic, your wild guess would probably be right. Would you be happy with a life without romance? I'd live. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Nope. Religion only ever brought me confusion, pain, and frustration. Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am very much a believer in free will and that you sculpt your own fate. Was your childhood happy? For the most part. What are you missing from your life? Excitement. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No. And if my country did something fucked up, I wouldn't stand with the masses just because I live here. What’s the latest YouTube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched? Snake Discovery, like, hardcore. Does it snow where you live? Every now and then, but it's super rare for the snow to stick, and it's maybe even rarer that we get a good or fun amount. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? UGGGGHHHHHH I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER W/ SHORT HAIR. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Not really on my phone, no. I don't have good image quality on my phone, so editing tends to make it worse. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO if I'm actually in a place with spawns. Which season do you wish would last longer? Sigh, autumn. At least here, the colorful phase is pretty short. It's like... green leaves one day, a beautiful display for a week, then the trees are bare. It's still my favorite season, though. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? Nah. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, duh. Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. I've got nothing against people who do, but I've just never seen the appeal of it at all. I would want my hypothetical child to have their completely own identity.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''not the american average'' by asking alexandria

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shitty-check-please-aus · 5 years

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I saw your tags about study abroad and now I need awful(or amazing) omgcp study abroad aus(I'm also that awful study abroad kid whoops)

CHECK PLEASE CHARACTERS AS STUDY ABROAD PEOPLE

Lardo, the only canon one to have studied abroad: Obviously super chill about it. Will talk about Kenya if asked, but isn’t going to be dramatic about it. Took some awesome photos. Actually gets them printed and framed.

Bitty: Went to France for a 2 week program that probably shouldn’t even count. “Lord, y’all, they use so much butter it puts me to shame.” Tried to speak French but nobody could understand his accent. Cried at the Louvre because he was overwhelmed. Put up an eight paragraph facebook post about how he was deeply personally affected by the burning of Notre Dame with a picture of himself looking cute in front of it.

Jack: Spent a semester in London studying WWII history. Went to the Churchill museum so much for research that he knew the guards by name. Developed a surprising tolerance for intensely spicy curry, and an even more shocking boredom with fish and chips, the chicken nuggets of England. When asked about studying abroad, he says “I’m Canadian, Massachusetts is abroad.”

Shitty: Spent a summer as an intern in Parliament. Cried with happiness when his time there overlapped with Jack’s. Still regrets not throwing any milkshakes. Only brings it up when and if Brexit is finally over.

Dex: Samwell has a “study abroad” in San Francisco for tech people to get internships, like how my school had a “study abroad” in LA for film majors to get internships. “Thank fuck for my scholarship covering rent,” he texts Chowder. “Go to this restaurant and order that,” Chowder texts back.

Nursey: Was already fluent in Spanish, goes to Madrid for a year and comes back with a lisping accent that all the Mexican kids make fun of him for. Wears a Universidad Complutense de Madrid hoodie for a month when he gets back. Posts amazing instagrams from a trip to La Sagrada Familia and Barcelona. Did accidentally eat too many weed brownies in Barcelona and forgot where his hostel was.

Chowder: Spent a semester in the Dominican Republic. Rarely texted his friends, except to send a picture of a giant spider in his bathtub and a few follow-up texts praising his host mom for crushing the giant spider for him. Comes back without much of a tan but as best friends with the people in his program. Tries to get the friend groups to interact. Fails to get the friend groups to interact.

Holster: Studied in some random-ass place like Amsterdam. Definitely took a picture at the Fault in Our Stars Bench. Sent all his family and friends some bizarre souvenirs from the airport after spending a semester not buying them anything. “Here is… a tulip-shaped mug. And a wooden-shoe-shaped mug.” Talks about how we should really bike more in the states for three months.

Ransom: Spent a summer in Japan. Constant instagram stories about the novelty snacks he ate, the #struggle of being too tall for everything, the interesting vending machines, everything. Does not take any actual pictures, but does end up with a story highlight on his instagram that is 1,348 pictures and videos long. Comes home with some J-beauty and K-beauty mascaras for his sisters, who are delighted, and some snacks for Holster, who is even more delighted.

Ford: Went to Australia! Took about 500 pictures with a koala. Joked that her mail could be sent to 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Someone on the team missed the joke and spent a lot of shipping money in vain. Is no longer afraid of the small spiders of the US.

Whiskey: Did he study abroad? Or was he just gone for a semester? Who can know?

Tango: Went to study in Italy because that’s what his mom did. All of the Italians hear his accent when he says something like “Buongiorno, un piccolo gelato con ananas e mango– “ and they immediately respond in English. His accent isn’t even that bad, they’re just used to Americans not understanding anything. Only did a summer program because he was worried about messing up his class plans and hockey. By the end of the program he has three favorite gelato places and dreams of opening up a place in the US that makes good pineapple and mango gelato. Will never understand the Naples dialect.

#... almost all of these are based on true stories

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razberryyum · 4 years

Photo

The Untamed and The Living Dead movie Thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD!

If you haven’t watched the movie, it’s best not to proceed cuz you will be spoiled.

OR, if you have already watched the movie and love it completely, AND you stan Yu Bin and will not put up with any criticism about his performance, it’s also best not to proceed cuz you’ll most likely be annoyed/upset with me. Let’s just agree to disagree right now and move on with our separate happy lives.

Overall Rating for The Living Dead: 3 Lil Apples out of 10

Yeah, I know that’s pretty harsh…I waffled between 3, 4 and 5, but I had to settle on a 3 in the end because I don’t think I’ll ever rewatch this movie and there were just so many problems I had with it, that I realized I can’t say I liked the movie much at all.

Before I go on, let me first address the big white elephant in the room: no, WangXian does NOT cameo in The Living Dead nor are they even mentioned in any capacity that would assure us they are still together and happy in the movie’s timeline. At one point Wen Ning does mention them in the same sentence, but only in relationship to himself (that they saved him) and the past. For those of us desperate for confirmation of WangXian happily ever afterness in the world of CQL (“us” meaning me only most likely), we get no assurance whatsover. This is especially disappointing since the movie apparently take place years later after the events of The Untamed so it’s really sad that we have no idea if they are together. Of course in the world of the novel, we know they are absolutely together, happily married, everydaying everyday, but it would’ve been nice if we were given some tiny morsel of comfort for WangXian of The Untamed.

Not only does Lan Zhan not make an appearance, he’s only mentioned by Wen Ning once, as I indicated above. As for Wei Ying, he’s mentioned a few times and he kiiiiinda makes a cameo…but honestly, I wish they didn’t even attempt that cameo cuz it was so bad. It’s basically the backview of some extra dressed as Wei Ying and dubbed over by someone else that’s not Lu Zhixing-laoshi. Or if it is, the dub was so bad that it didn’t even sound like him anymore.

That’s actually one of my main problems with the movie: the dubbing or sound mixing just sucked. Every time there was dialogue it sounded very obviously that it was on a different track. I didn’t even feel like the characters were saying the words because their voices sounded detached from them. Whereas in The Untamed, I sometimes would completely forget that with the exception of Nie Huaisang, everyone’s line reads were performed by voice actor because the voices were blended so well within the scenes. I don’t know the technical terms of all this dubbing stuff so hopefully I’m making some sense.

Another big problem was the CGI. Holy crap was it bad. It was so bad at no point was I able to immerse myself into the action scenes…I didn’t feel anyone was in danger because they were being attacked by a bunch of obvious and bad CGI. One of the worse scenes that they showed THREE times was when the sister (Xiao Qing) being burned up in CGI flames. First of all her acting was horrendous (why was she covering her ears while she’s being burned alive??) and then the fake fire just made me groan out loud. I didn’t even want to look it was so embarrassingly bad.

I’m trying to figure out when they shot this movie…in order for them to be able to release the movie so soon after the show, the filming had to overlap with The Untamed’s filming, right? So I guess budget was still tight, probably even tighter than the main show, since CQL probably didn’t start actually seeing the money it made from ads, etc until towards the end. Either way, it feels like they didn’t put much money into this movie, especially not the effects. And if I’m going to be honest, I think they probably just had their second…nay…probably third unit direct it. Or at least, they had their third unit decide on some of the casting cuz some of the performances were…OOF. One thing I really appreciated about The Untamed is that even with most of the background actors, there was hardly a glaringly bad performance. I’ve said before the worse really was the actor who played Wen Ruohan, which is a shame cuz he’s more than an extra, but overall all the performances by the supporting characters ranged from decent to strong with hardly a weak link. Here, in this movie, I would say most of the performances from the new cast members were very mediocre. In fact, the only truly consistently good performances from beginning to end was Zheng Fanxing (Sizhui) and that cute little girl in the beginning:

I was kind of sad when she got killed off cuz she was adorable and definitely a MUCH better actor that the dude who played her older brother…at no point was I remotely convinced he was scared so on the other hand I was happy he died. But I thought she was going to burn to death or something because it didn’t seem like a good idea to have her hide in a wooden cupboard with a lite stove…that was so stupid and weird. Btw, what the hell was with that cat screeching sound effect?? Sounded like someone was throwing a cat, but like WHY?

As for the three new players introduced for this movie—Gao Han as Xiao Yi, Wang Yifei as Xiao Qing and He Longlong as Zhou Zishu—I’ve never seen their work before, and nothing about their performances in this movie makes me interested in what they will do in the future. To be fair, Gao Han tried…you can totally tell he was trying REALLY hard in some of his scenes, but for the most part, he either overacted or strangely enough, underacted. He was just really inconsistent. I know Zhou Zishu was supposed to be a red herring so the fact that he started out looking sketchy AF was supposed to be a ruse since our narrator was entirely untrustworthy, but even in the context of that false narration, he was really bad. As for the sister played by Wang Yifei…just look at her performance as she’s being burned up again.

By the way, I’m gonna say this now: if Wei Ying and Lan Zhan don’t even get to share a fucking real hug between them throughout the entirety of The Untamed, then I don’t think some generally unimportant-in-the-greater-scheme-of-things couple should be allowed to freaking KISS in anything related to the world of CQL.

I understand it’s all about the censorship, etc etc, but if any hetero couple deserved to share an onscreen kiss, it would’ve been Shijie and Jin Zixuan, and since even they were deprived of that, then these two nobodies should not have been granted this privilege. Seriously, fuck whoever decided to stick that moment in the movie. That’s just fucking unfair and really annoyed me. There better not be any more of that kind of nonsense in the Nie brothers‘ movie.

The last I’ll say about performances is that sadly, I felt as if there was something off about Yu Bin’s. I totally understand that this is a different Wen Ning than the one we saw in the show—he’s older, more mature, since God knows how many years have passed already—so I don’t mind that he’s more serious. But at the same time, he was just so uneven that I couldn’t get behind his performance at all. He was always one key off, if that makes any sense, so it almost felt like someone else was playing Wen Ning entirely, someone who is completely unfamiliar with that character. And his work in the…whatever fuck that place was…Yin Metal purgatory?? (and for those who are familiar with Guardian, that place was giving me bad flashbacks to Dixing)…was kind of cringey overall.

I wanted to love seeing Wen Ning be a badass wise uncle, so I actually feel really sad that I couldn’t enjoy his performance in general. However, what I absolutely did enjoy was seeing uncle and nephew bonding and working together…

…just wish those moments weren’t marred by all that bad CGI.

Wen Ning’s new look gave me pause though: not that I didn’t appreciate the whole metal look, but I kind of couldn’t figure out why Wen Ning added the chains back to his ensemble when he got rid of them back in The Untamed already.

I mean, if the black veins on his neck don’t attract attention, walking around wearing heavy, clangy chains sure would probably alarm people as well, I think.

Last thing on Wen Ning: again, not that I didn’t appreciate his newfound ability to hulk out, but yikes, that whole effect was ruined by yet again bad CGI AND a really goofy score. Sounded like something they “borrowed” from Naruto.

Except for that one piece of music, I did like the score for the rest of the movie, especially in the opening credits since it definitely evoked a sense of creepiness. The images in the credits were good too. I can easily imagine that being the OP creds to a horror anthology.

As for the story, I was fine with it. I liked that they related the family to Nightless City because apparently they are the ones who helped make Nightless City nightless? Here I thought it was the surrounding lava but I guess there were lanterns lighting the place up that I just somehow missed completely. I liked the plot twist with Xiao Yi and his “sister”…although I did guess there was some incesty thing going on in the beginning…just didn’t think I would be right and wrong at the same time. I thought they would relate their relationship back to Wen Ning and Wen Qing somehow, considering the sisters shared the same name…this was before the “incest” part was confirmed of course…but they never really did so having Wen Qing share the same name as Xiao Qing felt like an oddity in the end. It’s also odd how they used the same phonetically sounding last name of “Xiao” since of course I immediately thought of Xiao Zhan (different characters). Like, couldn’t they come up with completely different names? Overall, the plot wasn’t bad, as mysteries go, at first I couldn’t figure out why the Yin Metal all of a sudden had all these new powers and why the metal wielder, Zhou Zishu, would become a ghost puppet himself, but with the plot twist, all of that was explained so I was fine with it. The last shot of “Xiao Yi” in the Yin Metal purgatory made me guffaw; yeah, that didn’t look suggestive AT ALL.

The Living Dead actually makes me look forward even more to the next movie, The Fatal Journey. I’m hoping that since it’s potentially about the Nie brother’s past and Jin Guangyao, that perhaps there will be less need for CGI as it will focus more on just dialogue and story-telling. Not to mention, again, apologies to Yu Bin fans, but those three actors are generally stronger performers, so with them at the helm, I’m expecting/hoping for greater things.

Since I’ve been mostly negative, I wanted to leave on at least one positive note: Sizhui is still an adorable puppy. His dads, wherever they are, whatever they’re doing during the movie, must be so proud of him.

#The Untamed #陈情令 #CQL #The Living Dead movie #Wen Ning #Lan Sizhui #Mo Dao Zu Shi #魔道祖师 #WangXian

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walkingshcdow-a · 4 years

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Hey, sorry to bother! I wanted to ask if you had any advice on how to write angst. It's probably what I struggle most with, and I really enjoy your writing and how you write yours. Thank you!

Hi! Sorry for the delay - you’re not at all a bother! I don’t know if you saw my post when I received this, but I was waiting on a copy of one of my favorite writing advice books before answering your question because it has been my guidebook to writing angst and when I went to reference it, I realized I’d left my copy on campus or at my parents’ house. But before I get into all that, I want to thank you for reading and enjoying my angst writing! I know I haven’t messed with angst in a while (since January 2020, suspiciously…) so it will be good to refresh my memory as to what I believed does and does not make good angst. Like all my writing advice, you can take it or leave it.

Let’s get started!

So the first thing to remember is that good angst (indeed, good writing) is rooted in character and character emotions. Secondly, all characters feel all feelings over the course of a lifetime to some degree* but that those emotions will manifest very differently in two different characters, or even in the same character under different circumstances. Some people will tell you to use an emotions wheel and be done with it.

But that does you no good if you don’t understand the nuanced difference between “resentful” (which is under “angry” feelings) and “hurt” (which is under “sad” feelings) or don’t see how anger and sadness can overlap to create both these feelings in the character(s) you’re writing. It also doesn’t help that I can stand over here, screaming until I’m blue in the face, that my character is sad, but if my writing lacks authenticity and freshness, I’m telling the reader how my character feels, not showing them. There is, of course, a place for telling - sometimes you need a shorthand filler sentence, especially when outlining. So, what can you do?

If you go on Amazon right now, you can order a cheap, used Ann Hood’s “Creating Character Emotions”. (A new copy will run you about $24, but used copies are being sold for under $2!). I am neither Ann Hood nor a paid spokesperson for her, however, this book has been my writing bible. Full disclosure: I usually skip the first part of the book. The intro and first part are worth reading a small handful of times, but it’s when Hood gives you writing workshops on each emotion that you get your money’s worth. Each chapter in the second section of the book is divided into four parts: an introduction/reflection on the emotion being discussed, “Bad Examples” where she shows you what not to do and why, “Good Examples” from published literature that showcase the emotion and why they work, and lastly, writing exercises and objectives. I still use these exercises to this day as a crutch when I haven’t seen a character experiencing a particular type of emotion and I want to know what he or she would look like feeling a certain way. I used an exercise from the section on “Anger” to showcase my OC, Masha’s, fury at being relied on by her 4-6 siblings (have I ever specified how many she has? No…) as an extra parent and source of financial support as well as her jealousy that her youngest sister, who she regards as being selfish and immature, is having a baby before she does and that she’d kept secrets from her ten years ago and was now telling her that she hadn’t confided in Masha sooner because Masha would have been judgmental, which then fed into Masha’s anger being towards herself for having played a part in the dysfunction of their relationship. Is it my most angsty piece? No, but it was a great character dive and it allowed me to explore other feelings that nestle within “anger” (as well as “sadness”, “fear”, “badness”, and “disgust”). I’ve used these exercises this way to generate some really awesome angst in the past and I actually plan to use some of the exercises with my creative writing students in the fall.

What if you don’t want to order a book?

That’s fine! But here are some takeaways from it that have taught me to be a better writer of angst (and of many things) over the years:

Emotions are like nesting dolls - there are always more on the inside than you see on the surface. You could (though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it) have a character say, “I’m mad!” but if you opened her up, you’d see that she’s frustrated things didn’t go her way and jealous someone else was promoted instead and worried what it’ll mean for her family if she doesn’t make more money than she does now and she’s, at the heart of it, wondering if she’s even good enough. Characters, like people, aren’t always self-aware enough to pinpoint exactly what they’re feeling and why to say it out loud (or even in first-person narration) without being somewhat unreliable. You, however, are the author. You have to know as many of the layers as you can and you have to get it across to the reader without saying “Actually, she was feeling frustrated and jealous about the other person’s promotion and scared that she won’t make enough to support her family and worried that she isn’t good enough.” That’s a laundry list, not good writing. You want to instead show emotion through action and fresh language/imagery. What can your character do to show his feelings? Say you’re writing a funeral scene. A man’s wife has died and he is very sad. If you have him throw himself on the casket, weeping, you’ve shown some action, but is it the most appropriate one for that character? Or is it just another cliche? In my fic, “Kiss of Death”, Nadir Khan awakens to find Erik, who has been his best friend and almost-lover, has passed away in the night. It is only in Erik’s death that Nadir knows his kisses will not distress Erik and it is only now that they can never have the conversation of “So, what are we?” that Nadir finally knows the answer. He kisses Erik and buries him himself, saying “Au revoir, mon amour”, mimicking canon dialogue upon their last parting in Persia (“Au revoir, mon ami”) to show the change in the relationship. Nadir is a practical man, somewhat serious, but kind and loving and also religious. It wouldn’t make sense for such a man to throw himself onto Erik’s casket and weep. But it makes sense for him to conduct the funeral himself and to say bittersweet farewell - and one that indicates he believes he will see Erik again in the next life. What can your characters say or do that is unique to them? The less “emotion language” (re: “Nadir was sad. Nadir missed Erik. Nadir was angry. Nadir regretted not saying he loved Erik sooner.” Yikes. Who are you trying to convince: your reader or yourself?) the better.

The second thing that comes to mind is often fresher and more interesting and more accurate than the first. A lot of times, we’ve been conditioned to think in cliches. And cliches make great placeholders, but when you edit, think about ways you could say it better, more specifically, and more emotionally. You want to use fresh language and imagery! Don’t be scared to let a paragraph or a story sit with you until you have the right words. Connotation is everything! You want to choose words that are appropriate to the character and their feelings, but also the feelings you want the reader to have about your writing. What emotion do you want a reader to walk away with?

Make your setting and “props” work for you. If your character has been grieving, show the state of their house. Unopened mail, empty wine bottles in the recycling, and stray tissues on the floor do more for you than “Sarah was grieving.” I did a modern AU with Nadir (always Nadir!) in which his son, as per canon, dies. The props I remember using were the stack of video games Reza had not put away before being taken to the hospital, the unanswered message machine (it was set in the early 00s), an origami swan that Erik had folded up in agitation and slipped into Nadir’s pocket to make him smile later. These all did more for me than “Nadir was sad his son died” than him thinking he wasn’t ready to put away the video games because it would be like admitting his son was gone, him not answering his siblings’ telephone calls, him not smiling at something that had never before failed to make him smile just a little. Pick props and settings specific to your character and make them count for something!

Angst writing should be done not because you are here solely to torture your readers with feels. That should be a bonus! What you should be focused on is character development and plot, like you would with any other story. The advice that Hood gives (and the advice I give, even though it’s just Hood Lite) can apply to any type of writing. The key thing is to remember who your characters are, what does the “angsty emotion” look like for them in particular, and what can you as the writer offer to the readers to make more of an impact. One thing you can always offer is upping the stakes. Sure, it’s angsty for your lovers never to get together, but it’s better if there is a good reason for it. Yes, it’s sad when a major character dies, but what did that character mean to those left alive? How does the angst move your story along (both the emotional story and the plot)?

As with my other writing advice, I can only recommend reading and watching a lot of media and seeing how stories are handled when dealing with the emotions you want to write. What can you do to emulate your favorite writers and one-up those that ring false for you?

Happy - or angsty, I suppose! - writing! If you have any questions or want to talk about anything else, hmu!

Peace!

#x. asks #x. anon #x. answered #;;told by an idiot | {out of character}#;;signifying nothing | {personal}#Anonymous

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janiedean · 5 years

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Hey, lately I've seen a lot of people hate on book!Tyrion and talk about what a terrible person he is and wanted to hear your take on that, because I don't really get it. I think that he is a really interesting character in the books, more so than in the second half of the show, if you ask me.

(sorry for replying this late I needed time to get to it and stuff happened haha)

soooo... tldr: I think *tumblr* has a shitload of issues with tyrion that are 90% rooted in the fact that this website thinks hating men is cool/that men are the worst always *and* also only cries ableism when it’s convenient or to call ableist things that are not in fact such (ie ‘omg if you use stupid is ableist’ which... automatically implies that anyone with a disability is *stupid* and the likes), and in tyrion’s case there’s.... an overlap of those specific issues added to the fact that since he’s a general fan favorite regardless of any fault of his then it’s fine to trash on him. going in depth on it:

now, there’s admittedly a difference in between book and show tyrion in the sense that the show version is a lot less gray and has cut on a lot of material in that sense, but like...... it’s d&d who after they decided to chunk the book storyline couldn’t write him properly so I’m not touching that topic because it’s not *his* issue, it’s theirs, and as you said... well obv. he’s more interesting in the books, because he has a lot more layers and he actually does something post-asos instead of rehashing the same three jokes that aren’t even on par with *his* book humor because he’s too smart for d&d to pull off correctly (I mean from S6 to S8 they managed to give him good lines in... the finale? PROBABLY? but they can’t write him, it’s their problem);

when it comes to book!tyrion, he obviously has faults same as 99,9% of the characters in these books, but all of those faults are... absolutely understandable given his background? I mean, so he hates his father and his sister, has fairly unhealthy coping methods and that got worse after asos, but... he comes from a lifetime of parental/familial abuse that crowned with tywin forcing him to rape his then-wife who actually did love him and convincing him he was unlovable, cersei was molesting him in the cradle and the only person who cared about him outside the uncles brigade which wasn’t around all the time was jaime who went off to get traumatized for himself at thirteen, and that just because of how he looks and for his disability, do we ask him to be a perfectly adjusted person? not really, and actually the fact that he tries to be better than 99% of his family all the time and that he actually has a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people and empathy in general says a lot about how he’s a pretty damn decent person, not a terrible one;

now, I think that this fandom on tumblr has ten problems with him because in order, the fact that he’s a man already puts him on a disadvantaged level but that’s common to most guys in this fandom like on tumblr in this fandom if a female character fucks up and a male character fucks up, the latter will be called out upon it way more than than the female character. also, abused male characters don’t get recognition for that 99% of the time. but that also means that his disability gets brushed off/ignored because since **according to tumblr standards** it’s not stopping him from doing most of what he’d like and no one takes it into account, his abuse gets brushed off/ignored because WELL HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE, the fact that he’s a man means he has male privilege and whatever the fuck else and since he’s technically (in the book at least) Not Standard Attractive then he doesn’t even get the shitload of excuses hot people get in virtue of being hot;

also, there’s a certain attitude I really don’t like at all whatsoever to describe the fact that in his POVs he always goes about how much he hates his father/cersei or WHERE DO THE WHORES GO in adwd as whining/being unable to get over it/dying of self-pity but like.......... that’s..... how he copes with knowing he’s been treated like shit? like, thing is: in a literary genius foil with his brother who has no idea of the crap he was unjustly subjected to if not very subconsciously and whose coping method is *going away* and/or forgetting about things and/or not thinking about them, tyrion’s coping method is never letting himself forget it and honestly.... so he thinks shit about his father and sister all the time? tough luck, they’re his abusers, ofc he does. he can’t get over thinking no one will love him because of his looks? tough luck, he was told that all his life and when he found someone he thought did tywin organized that rouse so he’d think she was with him for money and he forced him to rape her which is also called rape by proxy so he’s also a rape victim and he was thirteen? wow, if I were him ie someone whose first advice to a main character in these books was ‘never forget about your weaknesses and make them your armor so people can’t hurt you with them’ then I also would be thinking about that all the time. he’s an abuse victim and he’s not away from his abusers until the end of asos, what are we expecting, that he’d get over it? actually it’s a way healthier method than jaime’s because at least he knows he’s been wronged all along and he can see both c. and his father for the assholes they are but at least he knows that and he harbors no illusions about them even if he still kind of wants them to love him same as most people would, but like... that’s not whining? that’s stuff that it’s absolutely normal he should be thinking? also, the where do the whores go thing in adwd is....... basically he just learned that his biggest trauma was not what he believed it was and he has to reconcile himself with the fact that a) tysha never not loved him, b) jaime was in on it even if he subconsciously knows that he also was a victim in that ploy (when he dreams about killing him in adwd he’s crying, sooooo) and he has to know because jaime told him out of *guilt* and he damn well knows it, like he’s re-elaborating the entire thing, obviously he’s fixated on it??? I mean the moment I figured out a specific thing that I hadn’t realized about an unhealthy relationship I had with someone I spent a month thinking about it every other moment for a month and it was nowhere near that same level of terrible, and I’m surprised that he thinks about that for all of adwd? like, I find those justifications very iffy and incredibly dismissive of a) his trauma b) his abuse victim status;

also there’s the whole HE KILLED TYWIN thing but..... I honestly am baffled it’s even a thing fandom thinks he should pay for or anything. like, the problem is that he killed *shae* in that context, and that was also out of feeling betrayed after just learning of how it really went with tysha, and that’s why he’s on the downward spiral/his lowest point in adwd, but.... tywin? really? like tywin is an asshole period, he abused him all his life, he traumatized the shit out of him for his entire life and made him grow up thinking he was unlovable and outright told him he wanted to drown him, and not even counting what tywin did to *him*, we’re talking about someone who went and calmly planned the red wedding the moment he realized there was no way he could take out robb without treachery and didn’t feel particularly bothered by it on a moral level, and we’re sad that he died or think that tyrion has to pay for it because he killed his abuser who also never really was a father to him in any sense of the word? like what the fuck does tyrion owe tywin? literally nothing and tbqh it’s tywin narratively reaping the seeds of what he’s sown if tyrion goes and offs him. like, a lot of people re fixed on this thing about OH HE KILLED HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T DESERVE REDEMPTION but the narrative doesn’t ask it of him. he has to make peace and find his own redemption for killing shae at that point, not tywin. tywin had it coming since the moment he showed up. like, saying he’s a horrible person for offing someone who only ever abused the shit out of him doesn’t really fly as far as I’m concerned;

at this point we get to ‘okay but in adwd he does a lot of questionable things’, but..... a) he’s supposed to be at his lowest narrative point and a lot of people have done a lot of questionable things at their lowest narrative point in these books, I mean if I think theon can have a nice life and get better after his WF stint I can think that tyrion can have a nice life and get better after his adwd stint, b) it’s nothing he’ll be proud of when he pulls his shit together (and he already had started by the end of adwd) but I mean... it’s nothing worse than most people who have to pull their shit together in these books have done lately, like honestly writing him off as a horrible person because of his adwd stint reaaaaally reeks to me of double standard which is based on the fact that no one around here wants to recognize that he’s an abuse victim and his reactions are valid and that yes his disability singles him out and is the reason people target him and not his merits or demerits. I mean he even spells it out, he’s been on trial for being a dwarf all his life/everyone already judged him for that regardless of his actual faults, and that’s not him being delusional, it’s the truth. he’s a person who certainly has faults same as anyone else but guess what a lot of people around fandom do what tywin does and exacerbate them if you ask my opinion;

(that also can be seen when it comes to what people think of the guy being shipped around because believe me I wish I hadn’t seen people saying he couldn’t be a good option for sansa because he’s not the beautiful gallant stainless dude she deserves, and I’m saying it as a sansan shipper first but come the fuck on) (other than that tyrion/bronn is ofc the superior ship but nvm me)

also there’s the whole thing where people decided that since tyrion is a general fandom fave in between the w.org/reddit crowd/general audience then obviously if the dudebros (ugh i can’t with that generalization anymore sure af freefolk is less puritan than tumblr from what I see) like him then he has to also incarnate the Worst Type Of Male Fan Of Asoiaf In Existence and like........ now, I don’t doubt that when it comes to the *general audience* there’s a lot of misconceptions going around plus a lot of his character faults get ignored (I mean when I went on w.org the first time the first thread I ran into was like ‘wow sansa is a bitch for not kneeling at once when they married and making him feel like shit’ I mean that’s a situation where you should feel bad for both but calling her a bitch for not wanting to kneel while marrying a guy she was forced to who also belonged to the family that killed her brother and mother and her father too is like......... come on seriously?) but that’s the same with most fandom faves in any fandom, it doesn’t mean that if some of his fans see him with rose-tinted glasses then on this side of the pond we have to decide he sucks when he doesn’t, and as I said time and time again..... do we remember the last time that in any fandom the general audience favorite character who sells the merchandise more than anyone else is a disabled abuse victim who doesn’t shut up about it and tries to be better than anyone else thinks them able to? because I don’t and while tyrion is not top five asoiaf for me I’m very glad that *he* is the general audience favorite. so they don’t get the point or see him with rose-tinted glasses? happens to fandom faves in general, but it doesn’t mean that he’s a terrible person in the text just because the dudebro crowd (if we wanna call it like that but meh) likes him. so what, he is the audience fave? good, I’m beyond fine with him being the audience fave. I honestly don’t think it’s an argument that should even be brought up because ‘that character’s fans are shit so the character is automatically shit because we judged the fans on their supposed gender’ is not an argument. *shrug*

tldr: I think people on here exaggerate his flaws (that everyone has) and are bitchy about the fact that he is the general audience favorite because how dare a guy who’s as far as we know cishet (which is already bad for tumblr standards), not standard hot (crime!!), has a disability (which gets ignored 90% of the time when discussing his privilege or lack thereof), is an abuse victim who won’t let you forget it and you can’t deny/headcanon differently (which is a thing tumblr can’t accept - I mean, men being abuse victims, and with hc differently I mean that people outright deny that idk jaime was one because he doesn’t realize he was so you have to actually read into the text to realize it, but they can decide he’s not because it requires effort to put it together - or deny sandor was one because we don’t have his pov and we only see his destructive coping methods and so on - with tyrion they can’t because he never lets you forget he was and admitting it is apparently hard, also one of his abusers is a woman and We Do Not Admit That Women Can Be Abusers On Tumblr Dot Com) and who has fucked up but not worse than most people in these books be the audience favorite? WE JUST DON’T KNOW. personally I think he’s pretty damn great and an amazingly conceived/written character (I mean in a series where all the characters weren’t so well-rounded and I didn’t have other people I latched on before that he’d have totally been top three material for me he just got unlucky to be in the one series where everyone is well-rounded and there’s people that I resonate personally more with but really he’s an amazing character all around) and I can’t wait for him to pull his shit together in the next book and possibly get the nice ending he deserves along with better dialogue than d&d gave him, but from there to say he’s a horrible person.... geez. my list of horrible persons in these books runs very long and he’s nowhere near it. ofc he has faults but no character in these books is faultless except maybe gilly, and not even people under the age of twelve are faultless in these books come on.

#tyrion lannister #janie writes meta #ch: tyrion lannister #abuse cw #rape cw #long post for ts #ableism cw #my hand most likely slipped ops #ch: tywin lannister #anti-cersei lannister #mimitheflame #ask post

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i-dont-even-know-anymore921 · 5 years

Text

Outsiders Reclist

This is an Outsiders Fanfiction Reclist- This will be a constant work in progress(I’ll be adding to it whenever I find something I think is worth reading or if I get sent something from someone who wants something added) It will be organized by the main character but keep in mind the fact that just because a fic is under one character doesn’t mean it won’t have a very strong influence from another- I hope you enjoy:))

All of these are currently on Fanfiction.Net but I do plan on adding fics from here on tumblr in the future, i just have to go through and find them

*ALSO- If I don’t specifically state that a fic is unfinished, assume that it’s done*

PONYBOY

The Origin of Asthma - “After a small incident while on a family trip to the lake, a young Ponyboy gets diagnosed with asthma.” K - Words: 2,120 -

In the Depth - “In his school essay, Ponyboy reflects on his soul and the dark depths where it resides.” T - Words: 1,234 -

Home For Thanksgiving - “It’s 1969. Michelle Randle has been away studying at NYU but has come home to Tulsa for a big family Thanksgiving. It’s 1969. Ponyboy Curtis has been away studying at Columbia University but has come home to Tulsa for a big family Thanksgiving. Both of them are hoping for a nice, calm, happy Thanksgiving - especially as it’s their first one together as a couple.” T - Words: 1,934 -

Prom Nights - “Ponyboy and Angela both being dateless on prom night sets off very interesting conversations, and more” T - Words: 3,152 -

Sneaking In - “Pony takes a risk when he helps his brothers sneak back in.” T - Words: 2,631 -

The Bear and His Boy - “It is a truth universally acknowledged among children that there is no truer friend than one’s childhood doll or bear and after all even greaser’s were children once.” K - Words: 1,542 -

the clouds will drift away - “She’s barely on the edge of 14 and the world already feels like it’s ending.“ K - OC - Words: 2,649 -

Dumb Drunk - “Ponyboy comes back home drunk and the gang decides to find out what he’s been hiding from them.” K+ - Words: 2,050 -

Snakes - “Young Pony never intended on becoming a writer” K - Words: 4,081 -

Eye of the Storm - “When Ponyboy was a baby, he was taken away and adopted by another family. Years later, he meets his brothers again. One-Shot. Ponyboy is aged down at the beginning.” K - Words: 6,365 -

strawberry lips - “his first kiss left him with the taste of strawberry on his tongue.” K+ - Words: 473 -

Multi-chapter

Ten Years Later - “Just my take on what things might be like ten years after the setting of the book.” T - Chapters: 19 - Words: 87,146 -

Maybe Someday - “For Ponyboy, it was only the story of his luckless romance. But in reality, it was so much more than that. Ponyboy’s problems are far from over as he continues to grow up on the rough side of Tulsa, and life gets more complicated by the day.” T - Chapters: 30 - Words: 86,720 -

Esoterically Yours - “Ponyboy Curtis meets an acquaintance he has been trying to dodge for years” T - Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 52,860 -

On a Long Road - “Sometimes, I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I’d never written that stupid theme. If I’d been allowed to stay with my brothers. If I hadn’t been forced to move from home to home.” T- - Chapters: 30 - Words: 133,229 - *ABUSE*

Out of the Blue - “After constant attempts by Mr. Syme at coaxing Ponyboy into sending his theme off to a publisher, he finally does it.” K+ - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,292 -

*Series*

Splintered Ties That Bind - “One letter sent the family in different directions, each seeking the peace that comes only from being together. Time takes its toll, and love is bound by nothing” T - Chapters: 62 - Words: 118,974 -

Braided Ties - “Continuation of Splintered Ties That Bind, the brothers have found each other, and their lives move forward…Will things ever be the same?” T - Chapters: 21 - Words: 52,860 -

Summer Adventures - “The school year is over, and the lazy days of summer begin. Adventures -good and bad- loom on the horizon.” - T Chapters: 47 - Words: 166,736 -

Autumn Leaves - “Crisp air, falling temperatures - the summer is over. The Curtis brothers face a new set of challenges, and each will be forced to confront a pain they haven’t felt in nearly two years” - T - Chapters: 42 - Words: 127,663 -

Winter’s Soliloquy - “A new season, a new story. Ponyboy’s adventures in growing up with only his brothers and the gang to guide him continue.” T- Chapters: 23 - Words: 57,901 -

Spring’s Resurgence - ”Letting go of the past is hard enough, especially when the future is filled with uncertainties. Spring is calling; new life, new chances, new possibilities. A new adventure beckons them all.” T - Chapters: 34 - Words: 99,873 -

Wealth Versus Class - “We were studying The Great Gatsby at the time and yeah, I got that the book was saying Jay Gatsby could never be a part of the elite no matter how rich he became- but I had been looking at my own life- at real life- at girls like Cherry Valance and guys like Randy Anderson- and thinking the only thing that made us really any different was money.” K - Words: 1,739-

The Quarter - “’“I’m sorry I bothered you,” I called after him. “Must be a real pain having the vending machine right out here. People shaking it at all hours?” He stopped and looked back at me almost curiously. “Well, I don’t mind when they’re as cute as you.” I don’t know who blushed more deeply but I’d probably bet on him.‘” K- Words: 1,581 -

The Other Version - “"This wasn’t the gentle giant that carried spiders to safety when I threw my shoes at them. This person was steady and determined; ready to hit another person in the face for the sake of a few dollars.“ After an attempted mugging, Lizzy isn’t sure she knows Ponyboy as well as she thought.” K+ - Words: 1,999 -

Love Me Tender, Love Me True - “Lily Smith isn’t your typical Greaser girl. She wears decent clothes and doesn’t drink or smoke. Lily has skipped a grade in school and now she is all alone. That is until she meets Ponyboy Curtis and the gang. She and him fall for each other. The road to happiness is a bumpy one, but is always worth it in the end. Part One of "Love Me Tender” series.” T- OC - Chapters: 35 - Words: 135,241 -

All My Dreams Fulfilled - “Part Two of the “Love Me Tender” series.” T - OC - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,700 - *NOT FINISHED*

SODAPOP

Due Diligence - “Trigonometry. Already the bane of Sodapop’s existence.” K+ - Words: 1,757 -

Dividing Lines - “Now that Sodapop’s reached high school, he’s suddenly aware of Darry’s godlike status and isn’t quite sure of where he stands.” T - Words: 4,911 -

I Don’t Understand - “The one time Sodapop doesn’t get it. The one time he doesn’t understand what pain his younger brother is bearing.” T - Words: 2,117 -

Telling Soda - “Jo Curtis has some important news to tell little Sodapop Curtis. One-Shot.” T- Words: 2,660 -

Multi-Chapter

Windward Circle - “This is the story of Dallas Winston’s little sister, Brooklyn. When Dally dies, her world falls apart. That is, until Sodapop Curtis swoops in and forces her to see that there is still good in the world.” T- Chapters: 29 - Words: 46,506 -

Lightnin’ Strikes - “‘That was Joanne. Met her at work today.’ Seems like a sensible place to start. Tie in to, and overlapping with, 'Our One Rule’ and 'Love Me Two Times’, but don’t tell Soda and Jo. As far as they’re concerned, this was always their own story…” T - Chapters: 32 - Words: 109,002 -

STEVE

20 Reasons - “20 reasons why Steve Randle severely dislikes – or so he likes to think – Ponyboy Curtis” T - Words: 1,354 -

Lighter Fluid - “Twenty facts about Steve Randle, in no particular order.” T - Words: 2,313 -

Stay with me (Just a little longer) - “He can’t stay. He knows that. He knows the longer he stays, the more it will hurt… but then, why is it so hard to go?” T - Words: 1,689 -

Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair - “Evie wasn’t the only woman in Steve Randle’s life. It’s just that this particular one sort of haunts him.” K+ - Words: 3,073 -

STEVE/EVIE

Apple Blossom - “You get it, he’s good looking. But he knows it, and you can’t stand that.” T - Words: 7,089 -

Bite Me - “Evie has a little explaining to do for the strange mark on her neck.” T - Words: 1,244 -

Can’t - “And for some reason I can’t keep my mind off him, and I don’t mind that at all.” T - Words: 980 -

Never Again

Emotions - “Evie Sanders’ eyes were planted on Steve Randle, and his eyes were, unfortunately, planted on a car.” T - Words: 1,249 -

Next Contestant - “Everyone knows Buck’s can get wild and crazy, but what they don’t know is that the very people they are befriending and talking to are willing to take advantage of them at any moment.” T - Words: 1,428 -

Only One - “All the girls fell for Sodapop Curtis. All except one.” K+ - Words: 836 -

Single Girl - “She only ever had eyes for Steve.” T - Words: 3,687 -

Turn This Engine On - “Steve is working late by himself at the DX, and Evie stops by for some extracurriculars.” T - Words: 2,224 -

Multi-chapter

Fatherhood - “Steve experinces the joys of being a dad and pounders the moments that led up to it.” T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,325 - *NOT FINISHED*

let’s pause this moment in time - “and I just wanted to say thanks, you’re the only reason I’ve smiled in days. :: a series of stevie drabbles.” T - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,469 -

*Series*

The Only Kind - “'I knew that look. That look had been pulling me into trouble since kindergarten… ’ When Sandy gets Evie a date with Steve Randle, things begin to get complicated. Because Sandy and Sylvia have a hidden agenda and Evie’s getting caught up in the lies, at the same time as she’s falling for the guy she thought she disliked. Set in the months leading up to the book.” T - Chapters: 24 - Words: 73,218 -

Our Kind - “'Maybe Sylvia was right. Whatever I thought about her motives. Whatever I thought about her actual relationships. She did get the guy she wanted when she wanted him.’ Sandy’s gone, their lives are about to be turned upside down. Whose advice will Evie take and how far will she go, to get Steve back? Sequel to 'The Only Kind’.” T - Chapters: 24 - Words: 86,927 -

Our One Rule - “Evie and Steve are back together and everything is great. Until it isn’t. Because revenge is a way of life on the North Side and Evie is about to find out exactly how that works. Third story in series, following 'The Only Kind’ and 'Our Kind’.” T - Chapters: 26 -Words: 95,907 -

Love Me Two Times - “'He didn’t say it often, but when Steve Randle told me he loved me, I believed him. Of course, when he said that 'nothing in this world’ would keep us apart, I believed that too…’ Fourth story in series, following 'The Only Kind’, 'Our Kind’ and 'Our One Rule’.” T - Chapters: 30 - Words: 96,521 -

DARRY

ETOH - “Darry learns what happens to Ponyboy when left to his own vices.” T - Words: 2,854 -

He’s Wrong - “As she prepares for her senior prom, Audrey Holden is forced to face just how much people - and their opinions - can change in just a year.” K+ - Words: 2,692 -

Vivere Pro Aliis - “’You see me every day. We share a room. I spend more time with you than anyone else on the planet. And right now, I’m going to a movie with my friends, and you ain’t comin’.’” K+ - Words: 3,496 -

Slippery - “Wet floors can be a handful and rather surprising. You’ll never know where you slip. Darry/TwoBit” T - Words: 1,667 -

First String - “Darry knows making the football team could change his life.” T - Words: 2,985 -

Multi-chapter

Sticky Leaves - “Darry has lost his parents. Diana has lost her boyfriend. Maybe, in the end, they’ll both find something they can hold on to.” T - Chapters: 32 - Words: 124,496 -

DALLY

Beneath the Surface - “There’s more to their relationship than jail and cheating. No one else knows it, and half the time they don’t know it themselves. A collection of real moments in Dallas and Sylvia’s relationship.” T - Words: 3,853 -

*Series*

Arrogance and Aggression - “Arrogance and Aggression’ is a frothy Jane Austen-esque AU about love and friendship among the greasers (and their sisters). Dallas Winston is aggressive. Lucy Bennet is arrogant. Though she vows to hate him for the rest of her life, she begrudgingly realizes she may be wrong about him and about herself.” T - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,651 -

Impatience and Impulsivity - “Lucy Bennet is impatient. Dallas Winston is impulsive. Somehow, they are still surprised when these traits eventually catch up to them and bite them in their backs.” T - Chapters: 12 - Words: 92,530 -

See My Friends - “The year 1968 was signalized by a single piece of mail, a terrible and senseless request, which undoubtedly, no one would ever forget.” T - Chapters: 8 - Words: 79,766 - *NOT FINISHED*

JOHNNY

The Date - “Johnny had just realized that Hanna Matthews is not a little child any longer” T - Words: 1,602 -

Late Hormones - “After finding a place to stay for the night, Johnny discovers an unusual change in his body which Dally helps him relieve.” M - Words: 2,564 -

Multi-Chapter

The adventures of Jonathan Cade and Dallas Winston - “What if after the murder Johnny went on the run alone, not taking Ponyboy with him. What if instead of Windrixville Dally told him to run to New York. Perfect for all you Johnny and Dally fans as well as everyone else.” K - Chapters: 11 - Words: 29,770 -

TWO-BIT

Crescent Moons - “Or, how Two-Bit Mathews got it in his head that seeing his daughter kissing his buddy’s son in the Sunday school classroom on Easter was the worst possible thing that could happen. Also, said daughter may or may not have an obsession with whether or not she’s named after the Virgin Mary. In short, the Easter of 1989 was one of the family’s weirder ones.” T - Words: 8,774 -

The Society Pages - “The society pages the next day spoke almost exclusively of how Two-Bit Mathews had been seen gallivanting around town with the newly crowned prom queen. Everyone agreed that Miss Stevens looked dazzling in her pink formal, and could pull off a tiara. And no, we still don’t know who slashed Steve Randle’s tires.“ T - Words: 7,349 -

TWO-BIT/KATHY

What Chicks Really Want - “Evie’s conversation with Two-Bit, regarding Kathy and what he ought to be doing.” T - Words: 1,564 -

First Date - “Two-Bit picks Kathy up for their first date … half an hour late.” T - Words: 3,572 -

Love Fool - “Three toxic words change everything, but is it for the better or worse?“ T - Words: 3,979 -

TWO-BIT/MARCIA

Banana Clip - “I got the usual for Christmas, thanks for asking. Mostly more librarian clothes […] I swear I have enough for a week straight now without having to wear one twice. One of them’s in that pink you like, though, so maybe you won’t make too much fun of me—not that I don’t love your two-bits (I know you think I’m funny). (Or, Marcia writes Two-Bit, half a world away.)” T - Words: 6,256 -

Keeper - “A post-book oneshot about Two-Bit and Marcia.” T - Words: 1,353 -

Multi-Chapter

Unlikely - “Two-Bit and Marcia run into each other a few months after that fateful night. What happens is, to say the least, surprising.” T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,258 -

GIRLS

The Girlfriend Coalition - “They weren’t really friends. They were just girls who knew each other because of who their boyfriends happened to be. Evie’s left to wonder if she’ll ever actually get to meet someone who likes her for her, who doesn’t hang around her just to keep up appearances.” T - Words: 3,110 -

Multi-Chapter

God Help the Girls - “…But with the girls, the rivalry was played out in near silence; psychological warfare. Nasty rumors and snide remarks. Girls will be girls, just as boys will be boys. It was that way all over America, and surely Tulsa was no different. But, no. It was oh so different in Tulsa.” T - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,775 -

CURTIS FAMILY

The Detective - “You’re a detective and his eyes hold a mystery for you to solve.” K+ - Words: 1,591 -

The Birth - “The Curtis parents prepare for the birth of their second child.” K - Words: 1,041 -

The cake thief - “ Mrs Curtis. Verging on, if not complete, fluff…” K+ - Words: 969 -

A Mother’s Love - “A summer trip to visit Grandma takes an unexpected turn when someone shows up earlier than expected.” T - Words: 3,123 -

Solemn Simplicity - “The boys cope through their first Christmas without their parents and the recent loss of their friends.” T - Words: 2,811 -

Little Liar - “It’s Ponyboy’s first ever rumble, and the Curtis brothers try to hide it from their parents.” T - Words: 4,647 -

That’s My Boy! - “Everyone thought Darry was named in honor of his dad; they’re wrong.” T - Words: 920 -

Multi-Chapter

The Beginning - “Ponyboy isn’t the only Curtis with a story to tell.” T - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,863 -

TIM

the more is my unrest - “Being the man of the house is a job with few benefits, but someone has to do it.” T - Words: 1,582 -

Breakfast With Shepard - “…Once we even found Tim Shepard, leader of the Shepard gang and far from his own turf, reading the morning paper in the armchair… What if Tim Shepard had decided to stay for breakfast?” M - Words: 2,314 -

Multi-Chapter

Going Back Home - “Tim Shepard drove out of Tulsa and swore he’d never return, but 14 years later a phone call brings him back to face the past.” T - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,319 -

CURLY

Spin - “Little did Katie Mathews know that she didn’t need the luck of a coke bottle to kiss a certain greasy hood.” T - Words: 1,962 -

Totally worth it - “Pony goes to visit Curly in the reformatory” M - Words: 1,416 -

Multi-Chapter

Wild Ride - “To Ponyboy, Curly was the love of his life. To Curly, Ponyboy was just an expendable sex toy. Will Ponyboy bring back the Curly he supposedly remembers from their childhood, or will Ponyboy be left even more heartbroken than he already is?” M - Chapters: 25 - Words: 90,809 -

Curly Shepard Has A Plan - “Pony and Curly started 'going steady’ for a month. Pony didn’t want to go further until he was sure of himself, to which, 17 year old, Curly, frustratingly respected. Can a game of Truth or Dare changes things for better? Or for worse?” M - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,597 -

ANGELA

They Were Gold - “Angela and Ponyboy used to be gold. But then…he changed them.” T - Words: 2,790 -

Young Girls - “When’s the last you fell in love, Angel?” T - Words: 8,746 -

Multi-Chapter

Trust - “As the youngest in her family Angela’s got a whole lot of reputation to live up to. Usually she enjoys the challenge, but when things go badly wrong there’s only ever one person she trusts to make things right.” T - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,618 -

OTHER/OC POV

A Work of Art - “She never expected anyone to understand her—she expected them to learn from her, for through expression and knowledge deep within the soul is what brought art to life.” T - Words: 5,454 -

Looking back on a burning ember - “It has been twenty two years since the Windrexvill fire but Barbara has never forgotten the hero who saved her from the inferno.” K+ - Words: 1,025 -

I spent way too much time on this and i still havent added fics from tumblr yet and sbahkfdsbjfbjvbfsdfjb but pls do send any fics y’all like to me and ill add them:))

@insanitycaver @sunny-impalas @staygoldponebone @sodapopsundae

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professorandmaryann · 5 years

Text

MAG vs. MAP - Reasons why I don’t ship Mary Ann and Gilligan

I made a faux pas when joining the Gilligan’s Island fandom online. In one group, I asked if anyone else likes the Professor and Mary Ann together. According to a few of the responses, my opinion is ‘invalid’ and that Gilligan is the only acceptable mate for Mary Ann. Who would have guessed this was a touchy subject?

“IT’S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!”

Word for word? No. Mentally? Yes. Physically? Yes. Intentionally? Yes and no. You’ll have to hear me out.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Gilligan and Mary Ann. They are a sweet couple — especially in the early episodes when Mary Ann is so adorably crushing on him.

But...

Mary Ann matures as the series progresses. Gilligan… he has his moments, but he will always Gilligan. We wouldn’t want him any other way. More on this in a minute.

At the time of the shipwreck, we see Mary Ann fresh off the farm and tossed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. She is the most sheltered of the bunch, as in she’s had little to no life experiences outside of Kansas. She is not without a contribution to the group. She plays a vital role in making sure the castaways are eating proper meals and not just grazing. However, her skills don’t override her naivete. In his own way, Gilligan is also naive. If not naive, then happily oblivious. This is a quality she can relate to, and hey, Gilligan is super cute and the closest to her age. Given her upbringing, she is naturally going to gravitate toward him. They also have common interests such as butterfly hunting, taste in music, etc. They are a good pair and in many ways, Gilligan is any ‘Mary Ann’’s dream. He’s innocent and incapable of hate.

But he’s also insanely uncomfortable expressing any kind of romantic affection, going as far as to state in one episode he never wants to get married. Unlike Ginger, Mary Ann respects this. She has moments of pushing a kiss on the cheek but never tries to seduce him or force him into anything that makes him uncomfortable (’The Second Ginger Grant’ aside...). By the end of the series, Gilligan appears to accept Ginger’s overzealous flirtations and once or twice falls into her trance. With Mary Ann, he still retracts. Mary Ann is his friend. His best friend after Skipper. Romance doesn’t come into play for him.

Back to character growth… by season two, we already see noticeable differences to Mary Ann’s personality. Yes, she has maintained her innocence. Yes, she has held on to some of her youthful qualities. No, she is not the little bumpkin who needs to be protected. She was never weak, but all of the castaways are protective of her. Again, only natural given she’s the baby of the group. But overall we see a shift in her personality. A lot of the MAG implications drop, and a new prospect is introduced: The Professor.

Going through old posts and archives, I’ve seen so many MAG fans write off the MAP storyline in ‘Beauty Is As Beauty Does’ with comments like, “He only chose her because he felt sorry for her,” and, “The episode is only that way because Gilligan had to be the tiebreaker.” There are truths to this. I don’t deny it. However, The Professor prides himself on his intellect. He seldom shows romantic interest in Ginger. Though not quite as uncomfortable as Gilligan is with her advances, a romance with her is, at best, a superficial passing thought. She isn’t capable of a serious romance. Acting and Hollywood are her true loves, and she makes it known that she’s had more than her fair share of boyfriends. A strong platonic relationship is the only probability. Moving on… Mrs. Howell, of course, isn’t a prospect. So yes, in a sense, he was ‘stuck’ with Mary Ann when it came time to announce his vote for the most beautiful woman on the island (or world, to use his exact word). Obviously, the writers aren’t going to write out Mary Ann from the running. But as viewers, we shouldn’t only be thinking about why an episode is written a certain way. We see the plot presented to us and it is part of the overall story of the characters. However perceived, the Professor wouldn’t have said these things about Mary Ann lightly. As the most level-headed of the lot of them, he truly is able to see her inner beauty as well as the outer. He’s paid special attention to her from the start (keeping her safe in one way or another, generally spending time with her), so he is more aware of her growth than anyone else. And yes, we know Gilligan had to be the tiebreaker. We also know that he isn’t the kind of person to choose one friend over another. He appreciates all of them for who they are, no one better than the other. Another admirable quality, but I digress.

The plotlines for MAP are mostly unspoken. But they are there. For example, interactions between the two can be quite intimate. They’re almost always standing near each other and grabbing each other’s hands and arms. We can assume an overlapping morning routine (i.e. their good morning exchange as he’s shaving) in which they are comfortable, Mary Ann helping the Professor dress as a woman in ‘Gilligan The Goddess’, swimming together, dancing together whenever there’s a party, and other similar moments. Then there’s the matter of the Professor’s horrible acting. He is stiff and uncomfortable rehearsing with Ginger, but much more natural and relaxed rehearsing with Mary Ann. The theory can be stretched, too, by noting in Gilligan’s dreams, his love interest is almost always Ginger. Mary Ann is his buddy, usually. The one defending him. Ginger knows how to draw out his sexuality more, it’s as plain as that, even if it is buried in his subconscious. She can only relate to him in an adult way. If Gilligan were to end up with either of the girls, my vote would have to go to Ginger for this reason. Likewise, I think Gilligan would be good for her.

Come season three, Mary Ann is on a whole new level intellectually. She expresses interest in the Professor’s experiments, is able to take charge in some instances, can hold her own, and for all intents and purposes, grows up. In season one she states she has nothing in common with the Professor. This is true here. By season three, they develop common interests. In addition to a growth of knowledge, her outward appearance changes a bit. We see the pigtails much less as well as a more mature wardrobe. She is fully adapted to the situation life presented her. Gilligan is more or less in the same place in which he started. Clumsy, big-hearted, and boyish. They are no longer compatible romantically. At some point in the second season, Gilligan and Mary Ann form a brother/sister-like relationship. (“Think of me as your sister,” Mary Ann says in Rescue From Gilligan’s Island.) And it works. They bicker and play together and love each other.

Censors or no censors, psychologically, if something romantic were to happen between Mary Ann and Gilligan it would have by the end of the first season. They were both young and in a new, adventurous surrounding. One or both of their personalities would have set something in motion, especially with the nudge of Mrs. Howell. Fact is that Gilligan just isn’t in a romantic mindset. He loves his job and he loves his friends. A wife doesn’t come into play. With Mary Ann, we’re left to assume she wants to settle down and have a family. While Gilligan would undoubtedly be a good father, he would in many ways be another child for Mary Ann to take care of. Dawn Wells has said herself that a romantic relationship between Mary Ann and Gilligan is improbable.

Another comment I’ve seen more than once: “MAP shippers only write FanFiction because they’re just writing themselves with the Professor.”

Well… yes. Isn’t that what writing is? Perhaps I’m taking it too literally as an aspiring author, but you have to put yourself in the place of your characters. Even in FanFiction. Especially in FanFiction. Why else would we write for someone else’s character? For the money? For fame? Our favorites, be it a single character, a group, or a ship, are our favorites because we connect to them. There’s a passion there. Some we connect to more than others or on more than one level. As a writer, it is your duty to put yourself in the place of the character you’re writing, even if you wouldn’t necessarily go after a Professor or go after a Gilligan. So yes, perhaps someone writing a story about Mary Ann and the Professor would like to and is imagining what it might be like to find someone like the other. When writing, it’s only natural that an essence of ourselves go into our words. It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s extremely obvious, especially when the character strays too far away from their canon personality, but the solution is simple. Hit the back button. All of this can be said for MAG stories as well. Stated before, Gilligan is in many ways a dream match for the ‘Mary Ann’ personality type. He represents the innocence that has been lost in modern times. So really, there’s more fantasy surrounding him. A Gilligan isn’t as obtainable. He is a rarity that should be cherished. And there is nothing wrong with that. Overall, my biggest question about this comment is, why are you reading the story if you don’t like the pairing? Why are you wasting your time making someone feel bad for something they put their heart into? Move on.

For me, the chemistry was never there for Gilligan and Mary Ann. A deep, deep, friendship? Absolutely. Romantically, she is much better suited for the Professor, and vice versa. Mary Ann has a desire to learn things, the Professor has the wisdom to offer. And she retains it. Subsequently, he can protect her and she can nurture him. In a way, it makes sense Mary Ann would end up with someone older, though that is an entirely different matter I’ll save for another time. Finally, the actors’ real-life chemistry brings this pairing to life. As far as Dawn and Russell are/were concerned, the love between the Professor and Mary Ann was real. It was in their script.

I believe MAG was the intent of Sherwood Schwartz, however, aside from the musical (which, I’m sorry, I do not personally accept as canon, partly because I am a self-proclaimed theatre snob and there is no reason this or any other tv show needed to be brought to the stage), he didn’t take the opportunity to make this relationship a reality. Lord knows he had more than one opportunity to do so. I know Bob Denver liked the prospect of Gilligan marrying Mary Ann, but again, not much came of it aside from a comment here and there. Dawn has single-handedly created a MAP mentality and has been backed up by Russell, and for me, that’s half the fun of this ship: Watching these two friends make inside jokes about the love affair their characters had off-screen. It’s hard for me not to fall in love with the pairing myself.

“When people ask how I survived on Gilligan’s Island, I always tell them, ‘A lot of coconuts and Mary Ann.” - Russell Johnson

I didn’t write this whole thing out as an attempt to convince MAG fans that their ship isn’t accurate, ‘invalid,’, or that MAP is superior. I wrote it because I wanted to share my personal reasons for not being a fan of MAG (romantically) and to hopefully provide some reasons as to why people like MAP and/or what they see in them. (I also found it to be a good psychology piece. It’s amazing how many profound themes are hidden in a show that consists of dozens of pie in the face gags.) Will I have the guts to post this outside Tumblr? Probably not right now. I’m a newbie in the community though I’ve been watching the show off and on for about ten years. The MAG vs. MAP debate has been weighing on my mind and I thought I might as well put my thoughts into words. It seems strange to me that there is such a war between fans over something like this. Remember this show is first and foremost a goofy sitcom from the 1960s (that had almost no romance in it). Quite frankly, I’m appalled by a few of the comments I’ve seen on old message boards. I’m choosing to believe those dark days are over and fandom culture has evolved since the mid-2000s to be more respectful of other fans’ opinions… the aforementioned people I encountered recently aside. Gilligan’s Island is the definition of escapism... and the island is plenty big enough to home MAG, MAP, Pringer, and the rest.

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rebelwheels-blog · 5 years

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Dose #6: Added to the Mix

May 26, 2019

It is at the times of when we feel we no longer can that we always manage to prove ourselves wrong.

This was supposed to be posted a month and a half ago oops

Greetings readers, yet again, long time no write. These past few months have not been pleasant and writing this blog now is not something I have been particularly looking forward to writing… Although I will admit that seems to be my mentality for every one of these posts lately, which I apologize for. However, writing about my life isn’t all that easy. Some may argue that I could or should leave bits and pieces out, which I have seen others do. But I always feel like the rest of the story just doesn’t make as much sense when it’s done that way. Luckily, a friend of mine convinced me that it needed to be written, and they’ve fallen asleep on our phone call right now, so I ended up gathering the courage. Of course, as I say this, I am having second thoughts, but nevertheless, I will continue.

Picking Up Where We Left Off

My last big blog entry was definitely a heavy one. With me getting sick, discovering my love for poetry, and then being plonked this news that a fellow SMAer had passed and basically left me money from the contest we competed against each other in. Granted, it was his parent’s idea, however it did not feel that way when I was gifted his money. I mentioned how he left a rather large imprint upon my soul and that because of him I wanted to embrace the fact that I am apart of the SMA Community as well as the Disabled Community in general.

When I wrote this, I had no idea what Life had in store for me.

The month of February was the month of my sixth Spinraza Injection, February 25, to be exact. I was ecstatic to be receiving my sixth injection as this is the one that many have said on the social forums to be the one that really counts. The one where you notice bigger milestones to be achieved. The one that matters. So as the weeks go by, I get my blood drawn where and when I usually do, as well as other things, and wait. Then the Thursday before my injection, I get a phone call from the place where I get my injection. I thought it a bit strange to be called on the Thursday instead of the Friday to confirm my appointment for Monday, but I picked up anyway.

The phone call wasn’t to confirm Monday’s appointment.

The lady that schedules all of my doctor’s appointments had called me to say that my injection date had been moved to three weeks later. I couldn’t believe my ears. Apparently since my insurance had gone through a merge with another company, the paperwork to get my injection and medication paid for had been completely changed. Even though I had received a letter a few weeks prior saying everything that was pre-approved would not have any issues and coverage would overlap until the end of July.

Apparently not.

My immediate reaction was to bite my tongue and agree to changing the dates in my calendar. But emotions overruled my logic and tears began to stream down my face making it difficult to see.

Great, this is bringing back all those emotions.

I quickly changed the dates in my phone and thanked the lady on the other end of the phone before hanging up and sobbing as my grandmother held me after running to get a box of tissues.

The next few weeks were hell. I did not handle it well at all. I’m still having the effects from it to be frank. Even though the effects that I was experiencing are not possible to even occur. I was assured and reassured this. At least two more times after that phone call of having to move my injection date, as I was told two more times on the Friday that I still couldn’t have my injection. Every week was purgatory, every second was worse than the last. Then, to top it off, every day I felt my strength dwindling every second that ticked by. Which is the effects that I had been assured and reassured is not possible. Well I am here to assure everyone that their assurance is not true at all. Sure, molecularly, it’s still in my system until the sixth month mark. But the effects of the Spinraza giving me back my strength go straight down the drain after the four-month mark.

I may not be an expert at chemistry, but I do know that what I was experiencing was not psychosomatic. Getting tired easier, leaning over more, experiencing difficulty picking up my head again… The list goes on. Of course, due to this occurrence, I have found myself researching how genes work and how Spinraza does what it does down to the molecular level. In turn, causing this update to be a month late. Okay, it wasn’t just my curiosity that caused this update to be much later than I prefer, as I’m not only just regaining the use of my body the way I had before this hiccup, but the fog that has clouded my thoughts over the past months is starting to lift as well.

Gotta love my brain.

Now, there is a flicker of light in all this darkness, and that leads me to my next heading.

All Over the Place

During my roller coaster of emotions, I ended up acquiring a group of friends. Yeah, I have actually acquired a group of friends.

I’m growing up!

This group has helped me all through the month of ups and downs, so allow me to introduce them to you.

Our little family is quite the complicated bunch, so here is how we all refer to each other.

Dova is the founder of our family. She found us scattered all over the world, and brought us together to create our group. I owe her a lot for taking me in. Especially since she understands my crazy as she is as crazy-probably more-as I am. All joking aside, she is the first person to invite me into a group and I haven’t felt unwelcome.

Schiki is Døva’s longest friend in the group, and they refer to each other as Twin due to how close they are. I used to not talk to him much, that was, until we decided to phone each other. I haven’t been on a call as long as I have been with him since… Well that was in the past. Talking to him is as easy as it gets, never losing things to talk about. Granted, this applies to the rest of the family as well, but with this one, it’s different.

SD is the youngest of the group, I recruited her. She’s like the little sister I never wanted. (Sarcasm) SD is one of the funniest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, even if her humor sometimes ends up getting misinterpreted. But she has a beautiful soul and a voice to match it. She’s gonna hate me when she reads this hehe

Spike… Now that’s a character. He has many fascists which makes him interesting to get to know. He’s an amazing artist, easy to talk to, as is Schiki, and pretty smart. Him and Schiki are two I’ve had group calls with and we ended up talking about physics. This guy knows how to push my buttons, but who doesn’t, really?

Hybrid is an entity all of his own. He’s part of the family, but in a sort of complicated way. However, he’s a physics major which makes it easy for us to talk. Can’t really say much about him as he’s been away for a bit.

Death is a new-ish addition to the group, but he’s pretty interesting. Gets along easily with Spike and has a great sense of humor. I can thank him for introducing me to a video game that I can actually play.

The best way I can describe this group of ours as a whole is in the layout of a poem that I had written for one of our members during a moment of doubt.

We’re the puzzle pieces that get lost

And are found one day

By someone who took the time

To look

And to pick us up

And put us in our own puzzle

That creates a bigger picture

That’s just as odd as we are.

Every one of these people has helped me out one way or another. Sure, we get on each other’s nerves a lot as well, but that’s what happens in a family. I don’t know how I could have made it through my unknowns without them. They found me at my lowest and helped me get back to where I should be, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

The Sixth Battle

The day finally came where I could actually be given my injection. April 1st. Yeah, we had the same thought. Who would book an appointment as important as this when so many things have gone wrong already? Well, luckily the appointment actually was kept after being moved three times already. Three times the charm, I guess.

Even though this injection was an absolute pain to get, it was my sixth one which was supposed to be when I saw more extreme changes in my strength. So I decided to make my Spinraza crew a gift.

Those who were there to see the gift were blown away, but most of the crew for this injection was new. The usual staff was out for this, that, or the other, but my main nurse was there which was all that mattered at that point.

Of course, the complications with this injection weren’t going to stop simply because of the fact I was actually on the table about to have a long needle shoved into my back. Noooooo. The one time I decide not to put my earbuds in to listen to music is the one time the needle decides that it doesn’t want to find my spinal fluid sack in my spine. It took a good ten, twenty minutes to finally feel the spinal fluid drip out from the needle. Never had I welcomed that feeling so much in my life.

As each second ticked by that my doctor couldn’t get the spinal fluid out, the more I worried that they’d have to take the needle out and either redo it or book the appointment for another day. But everyone assured me that I’d get it that day no matter what, and they were right.

My injection site was in a lot more pain than previous times, as well as my lower spine when I put my head back to eat. But I was grateful to have the synthetic DNA back in my system. Although, more than a month later, I still don’t feel like I have all of my strength back. Especially when it comes to my core strength. But I’m hoping as I don’t have to go through all of this approval garbage for another year, Spinraza should build itself back up in my chemistry.

#sma #biogen #spinal muscular atrophy #spinraza #rare diseases #disability #hope #rebel wheels #strength #wheelchair

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