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some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too · 11 months

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Sad Steve stuff idk what to call this

A/N: im feeling sad and having a crisis over the other thing i wanna write so have sad Steve with a now dead s/o. also i can’t remember if i saw someone do something similar or if i imagined that so if yk of anyone who did smth similar tell me please!

TW: suicide, death, idk Y/N gets shot ok

Tags: angst, this is really depressing i’m sad rn ok?

Steve was driving home from the DX when he looked over at the alley where Y/N normally hung out with their friends from the Shepard gang. The usually baron area was surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance. “Oh for fuck sake Y/N did you kill someone?” he muttered under his breath before pulling in at the nearest payphone. The greaser dialled his S/O’s number. it rang out. He rang the rest of the gang and received the same answer from each of them; “Y/N said they were spending the day with their other friends. Some of the Shepard guys.” He sighed. Suddenly, the thought hit him. “Shit!”

Steve bolted back to the alleyway, not bothering to grab his car. He spotted Y/N lying on the ground and sped up. Just as he was climbing over the police tape someone stopped him. “Sorry kid, you can’t go past this line. that’s the law.” A policeman held him back by the shoulder. “That’s my S/O in there! please, i can’t stay here. please..” Steve begged, his voice getting more unsteady with each word. The officer let go of his shoulder and Steve ran over to Y/N. He skidded on his knees as he got close. Tears flowed down his face as he saw the bullet wound on his love’s side. Y/N opened their eye. “Hey Stevie.” They managed a weak smile. “Y/N..darlin’ i told you to stop gettin’ into so many fights all the time.” Steve almost sobbed. He held their hand tight and brushed a stray hair off their forehead. A paramedic came up to them. “Is there any family we can call?” Steve gave Darry’s name without hesitation.

“Stevie?” Y/N whispered. “Yeah darlin i’m here i won’t leave you. i won’t leave you…” He whispered back, trying to stay strong. “Please don’t cry. I want this Stevie, please don’t cry.” Y/N begged. They sat there in silence for a moment. “I love you Y/N. You’re my everything. Stay with me, ok?” Y/N looked deep into his eyes. “I’m sorry Stevie..I love you. Just know, this ain’t your fault. It was my decision. I love you.” They continued. Steve leaned down and kissed them, they felt slightly cold. The paramedic came back. “The people we called are here. We need you to step back now.” Steve looked up at the paramedic. “Is there any way i can stay??” They shook their head. “We need to try to get them to a state where we can bring them to the hospital.” Y/N looked at the greaser. “I’ll be ok, go, i’ll see you soon.” Steve kissed his lover one last time before joining the rest of their gang.

Soda put his arm around his friends shoulders. The doctors tried to help Y/N but it was too late. “they’re dead. I’m sorry for your loss” a doctor announced as he walked over to the seven boys. Darry gasped softly. Ponyboy and Johnny both let out what sounded like a squeak. Sodapop whispered something under his breath. Dallas punched a nearby wall and Steve fell to the ground with a sob. “You have to be able to do something. Please! It’s not to late! There has to be something you can do?” He wailed. The doctor shook his head before going back to load up the body of Steve’s lover. “Wait!!” The greaser called. “Can i take their jacket. Please..” A nurse took the jacket off Y/N and handed it to Steve. “Thank you.” He walked back towards Sodapop but kept walking. He sat on the bridge where he and Y/N had their first kiss. He cried for hours. “Why would you leave me Y/N..Why…” He got up again and walked. He walked off into the darkness with nothing in his mind except the image of his once energetic lover lying lifeless on the ground.

#the outsiders #angst #ponyboy curtis #dallas winston #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #johnny cade #steve randle #two-bit mathews #dallas winston x reader #ponyboy x reader #johnny cade x reader #steve randle x reader #darry curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #two bit x reader #darry x reader #sodapop curtis x reader

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anti-transphobia · 7 years

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IF YOU CANT SCROLL DOWN AND TELL THIS POST IS REALLY LONG THE SHORTEET ANR BEST I COULD GET IT WITH MY CURRENT SITUATUATION IS THE HEART BULLETS SO IF YOU WANNA REQD ANYRHINT AT ALL I RECCOMEND THAT UNLESS YOU UAVE A GOOD ATTENTION SPAN AND/OR ARE INTERESTED AND THE AFFECTS OF CERTAIN DRUGS ON PEOPLE OR U IF YOU WNNA KNO W HOE UNBEARABLEBYOULL BE IF YOU DO DUMB SHIT AND TRY TO KILL YOURSELF WITH MEDS

Even if i "sound" (by how im typing) like im fine right now please please keep in mind i am not. I am in physical pain and will be for a while which will disable me for a while. i hope that isnt ableist to say? Its true i will be temporarily unable to walk and when i can not for long and without hurtint myself. It may not be the best choice of words but im not sure. Please correct me if im wront and i hope im not asking for all kinds of special treatmeant but please be kind about it. Being in a bad place doesny make it okay but i do need peoppes kid gloves on right now or else i may make some person who may just be trying to help feel bad abt themselves for possibly making me more depressed and suicidal. I know this is a good posibility if people arent gentle with me but it doesnt mean i can stop how i feel if it happens. Back to the topic which i cant even remember (im gonna reiterate this destroys my memory as well as ability to focus on something which is a dangerous combo) so it may not ah make any fucking sense. It sounds like i was talking abt how much pain im still in with a focus on my physical pain instead of my mental and how it stills affects and limits me. Well. Not sure where i was going with that and while if youre one of those ppl who get concerned over strangers ans stuff uh i forgot what i was writit here! Honestly no exaggeration. I thought abt my fp for a split second and ive already lost my point. I suppose i coulve just deleter the sentence and skipped that or tjought of something else to say but in case youre the one forgettib somethin here, rambling side affect. I am on the verge of making this a 20 page post abt how i cant stop ramblint while im saying im rambling. Sorry so sorry i have little control over every part of me, inside my brain and out under normal circumstances so ywah its 10000× worse now. Attempting to get back on poiny again, i think ppl who get worriee abt others easily shouldbt worrt too much abt whether im gonna die right now bc it all depends on how fast i recover and whether my parents are working today so i have tue chance to harm myself more. God i have no idea whwt rhie post means or was supposed to be abt. Ill try to summarize what i thini is goin on ans what i was truna say BAD SUMMARY POSSIBLY UNLESS I KNOW MYSELF PRETTY WELL WHICH I THINK I DO: ☆im not healed yet im still dealing with a lot of things rn even though i may still appear okay to some. While ppl on the verge of attemptiny suicide or harming themsepves have just as valid feelings as people who actually do, and being close to hurtiny yourself takes definite time to heaol, im going to go out on a hopefully not rude or bad limb and say ppl who actually do it generally need more recovery time and ppl need to understand the healing wont be as fast as it may be if nothit was actually done ☆ i forgot the second thing so ill write this here as a genuine and unnppanned reminder that this is having very clear affects on me. Also the laco of sleep for over a day is gonna fuk w me on its own combinee with drug usage soo yeh ☆ i remember now ppl who get concerner shouldbt be too concerned abt me dying atm or in a too near future ☆ i dont encourage ppl to worry abt me and the fact some ppl aay they do feels like a joke to me but there are definately things to worry abt. Even if you think physical health is less important than mental health which most ppl unfortunately dont see them as equal, my physical health and mental health are connected in many ways right now. If i get too stressed, scared (an im extremely paranoid rn on the verge of a freakout constantly), or even happy/excited my increases heart rate will go nuts and put nearly unbearable pain which may in turn worsen my mental health and create a cycle of pain ☆ once again i keep forgetting andb as the side affects are worsening im becoming less anr less like the person who solemly started to write this post (i think the word fits accurately here but it sounds odd. Dont let this make you think im happy, im in no way happy. I just have a shit ton of energy which if i caree abt my wellbeing would b dangerous bc its easier for ke to kill myself now. Or it woipd be if it werent for the fact im in a lot of paij rn for a variety of reasons) ☆with that last bullet im p sure i was gonna say i love you guys. I didnt so i will say t here!! I love you guts you guys have helped me 'kay? BEAR WITH ME AS I ATTEMPT TO SHORTEN WHWT I SAY FOR EVERYONES BENEFIT EVEN IF IT TAKES 5 TRIES ANE 4 POSTS Buttercup Tries a Summary 2.0 ♡im in a lot of pain right now. Im shaking for a few reasojs and oje of em is bc im in a shitton of pain ♡please be kind to me for a bit. more gentle then you woule usually have to be with me. i dont wnna ask for too much but even joking around without saying youre joking very blatantly could make everythibg a lot worse which i dont wnna happen bc it woulsbbe unfair to a persob meaning no harm ♡i dont think i said i love you guys? I love you guys ♡im probablt missing a shit ton of impprtant thints so im just gojna sau im in a lot o f pain holy fuck if you even have a casual conversatioj im probabky gonna mention how my body is dying and not peacefully ♡Oh JUST REMEMBEREE MY PHONE BATTERY. ITS AT 6%. IT WAS AT 11/12 WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS POST. IT TAKES ME THAT LONG TO SAY SIMPLE THINGS IN MY CURRWNT STATE (im gonna grt an estimate of how long this post took and put it in the tags and if anyones interested or willijg to humour me and pretend to care i can find tags of a big suicide attempt i did when i was 13/early14 just so you can. Get a grasp of how bad my rambling can REALLY be) ♡puttin this with a new heart cuz the last one is too damned long now fuck you buttercuo and ur dumb ass anyways my phone is at 5% now ans still lowering. I m physically unavle to get toje computer wnd while i can use my phone while chargij t it doesnt work as well and everyhiny i do will taoe even longer. It fucks w the keypad so my spellijy will probabky be worse agian ajd tumblt wouod die every other minute so

#i think o has sometjint else but whatevs #im probabltbgonna post on tpoc a bit #so i dont seem like a huge dickbag whos only doing this ajd drawing itbout for atrwntion #whicu is not wha im doing and i onow i cant control whatsbhappening to me ans whatbom doij #bc of it #bit i still feel guilty abt it esp knowing tjis i s whwtbwoildbhappen ig i lived #typing getting worse shaking increaeing also im rusihing as mu battety is at 4% @#ans will probably be lower by the timr i finally pos this #suicide #long post #randok

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