#i love the way watercolor looks but i cant ever get it looking the way most ppl think of bc id lay down flat washes rlly fast

[devilofthepit]

eleven and seventeen?

11. favorite mcr album art?

revenge no question. i cant quite explain why but something about it has always spoken to me, i saw it at age 12 and was forever changed i think. this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that it’s my favorite album, in fact i think part of why it’s my favorite album is because of the art. first of all, it reminds me a lot of vampires. i’ve always been drawn to vampires, an obsession that i think grew with my discovery of this album, even if it’s not actually about vampires, because aesthetically there are definitely a lot of nods to the vampire aesthetic which i really love. i feel like a lot of my aesthetic choices have been based off of that album cover, it just feels very me. i love thé black and red color scheme, again probably because of how i associate it with vampires and there’s something so gender about it. i definitely prefer some of gerard’s art to others but i think the style looks really cool here. someone pointed out how the girl looks kinda like gerard and i haven’t gotten that out of my head since. there’s also something in their expressions that’s so tragic even if theres not a lot of detail to them. i like the blood on its own, but i also like how it’s this watercolor style, i think that’s really cool. and then the way blood is spattered all over the rest of it. i’m not really putting it into words right because it’s more of a feeling of connection ive always had with the album and it’s art rather than specific qualities i can pinpoint, but i think love and art aren’t really things that need to be quantified and dissected like that.

17. favorite mcr lyric of all time?

ooh this is so hard. honestly i’m kind of bad with lyrics bc i process music as just Sounds rather than words, but mcr are such great lyricists that there are definitely some that stick out for me. at the moment i’m thinking about “and did you come to stare or wash away the blood?” from desert song, since i’ve been listening to it on repeat for unknown reasons, tho im not sure that’s my all time favorite. i have a ton written down in a notes app note for lyrics i like just bc i enjoy the way they sound, though i don’t really have any personal reason for them being my favorites. one that i’ve always thought about though is “i’m not dead i only dress that way” from boy division, because my chemical romance has always inspired the way i dress including looking weird and kind of dead and just overall very strange looking, it’s very gender to me. i started listening to mcr when i used amazon music in middle school and conventional weapons wasn’t on there but as soon as i’d heard of that lyric i went to youtube to listen to it and it’s been a favorite ever since, and it was amazing to hear live.

thinking about hearing it live also made me think of hearing burn bright live and being able to scream out “cause it makes me who i am / and you made me who i am / be afraid of what i am,” because even if i didnt listen to conventional weapons a lot when i first became a fan, those lyrics really exemplify my feelings about the band and how they’ve shaped the person i am today, they’re the only band from my middle school emo phase that ever really stuck with me and i’ve listened to them for a third of my life. for me, these lyrics are a combination of reverence/homage for how the band helped me get through middle school when i struggled a lot with mental health for the first time and began to truly think about my identity for the first time, as well as how they’ve been with me well on after that time and have been there through every major change in my life and can always make me really happy just thinking about them. it’s more than a middle-school nostalgia for me bc my love for the band is just a part of me now. i also like how these lyrics tie in with the “not ashamed of what i am” and the general queer undertones of the song, because i associate my chemical romance a lot with my own queerness, having discovered them when i began to realize i was gay and taking a lot of inspiration from them for my gender presentation. and also i’m someone who feels a lot of shame and general self-doubt even outside of my queerness that i like these lyrics’ message of just like, being who you are, as corny as that sounds. i think that’s kinda the core message of mcr as well :)

#sorry this is so long i didn’t realize i had so many thoughts. mcr special interest and whatnot #mcr #minirovks #thank u sm for the chance to talk abt this!!!

[kifu]

Heya thank you so much for the art advice earlier! I was wondering if you had any specific suggestions for programs and/or brushes (you know specifically for someone whose only fine art experience has been in pencil and charcoal 😭) .

I’m currently using iArtbook because it’s free. I know Procreate is probably the most popular program but I’m literally -$300+ in my bank account right now, so that isn’t a current option 😅.

However I do believe you can upload brushes to the iArtBook app, honestly I’m not sure, I haven’t tried but you can edit the brushes in a very similar fashion to Adobe Photoshop. So I’m assuming you can also download and upload brushes. I actually really like this program because it has a similar feel to Adobe programs and as a Photographer I’m very experienced with Adobe (I have an Adobe Cloud Account).

In all honesty I’ve never been a good illustrator (since my main focus in my fine arts education was always photography) , but I find the activity meditative and I’m ALWAYS looking to improve.

(Also I was gonna DM you but cant so sorry for the long question 😅)

Yo, it's all good. No apology necessary.

I can only suggest what I know. I've never used Procreate, and I've never even heard of iArtbook. I'm also one of those that absolutely will torrent my art program of choice. And have.

A long, long time ago (like probably thirteen years), I got a copy of Corel (Coral? Idek anymore) free with the purchase of my Wacom bamboo tablet. I didn't know what I was doing yet and I hated it. My laptop hated it. It was very heavy and lagged big time.

I switch to Gimp, which is legally free and open source. I used Gimp for years with zero problems. You can import a lot of Photoshop brushes into Gimp without issue. Compared to Photoshop and Paint Studio, it's incredibly underpowered. Looking back at the art I made, however, I was not poorly off.

From Gimp, wanting more, I then switched to Photoshop CS5. It was incredibly easy to find and install. Personally, I say screw Adobe, since their current model is subscription based. I hate that. I used PS for yearsssssss, up until last year, I believe. It wasn't too heavy for my laptop to handle unless I used too big of a brush. It allowed me to expand my knowledge of digital art programs. It has way more to offer than I'll ever use. But as i mentioned before, the natural art brushes are ... okay, and the blending tool is awful. I learned to NOT ever use the blending tool because of PS.

Throughout time in my PS years, I switched from a Wacom Bamboo tablet to a Huion pen tablet (three different ones) to a Huion Kamvas 16 Pro tablet. With my family's help, I put money towards improving my art by way of hardware, and each tablet became significantly better. A good tablet will help TREMENDOUSLY, but by no means does anyone *need* to splurge on a screen tablet like the Kamvas series. I recommend Huion. It's hard to go wrong with them. In case that ever tickles your fancy.

Like, I'm pulling examples of art I've done with these programs and tablets, specifically unshaded pieces, to show that the software and hardware doesn't necessarily make the piece.

Now, I'm using Clip Studio Paint because it comes with so many native traditional brushes. Again, the company switched or threatened to switch to a subscription pay, so I have no qualms in resorting to circumventing their purchase page.

I will say, I think I love Clip Studio more than I ever did Photoshop. The brushes are just ... perfect.

Like this. This isn't pencil and paper! It's the pencil brush that comes with Clip Studio. It draws JUST like a pencil and I feel like I'm in my natural element when I get to use it.

If you do decide to use PS, or a program that is PS brush compatible, I'll have to find that set of brushes that works similarly to these.

These pictures both used one of the pencil brushes from that set in PS. The horse was painted with a watercolor wash brush; the human with a chalk brush. It's nowhere near as versatile as what can be used in Clip, though.

But I'm sure you could find many brushes through dA and gumroad to use until you find the one that works for you, too!

#lostgirl1428

[valorxdrive]

"Sora....?"

"Sora?"

"Sora, I found you!"

And when Sora opens his eyes, Namine is there among the backdrop of skyscrapers framed in the room's many windows. She looks as wispy and ethereal as ever, as if a stray breeze might blow her away--he can almost see right through her, the buildings' silhouettes visible even as she moves to block them. She truly looks like the ghost she always felt like.

There's the urge to throw her barely-there arms around him, to cry as he looks at her. But Namine carefully controls the emotions roaring inside her--she buries the wish to sob so deeply in this wretched heart of hers that she drowns it. Instead, she slowly clasps her hands behind her back, regarding Sora with the same faint smile she always wears.

"I don't have much time," Namine tells him, canting her head with that mysterious, bewitching smile curled over her lips. "Right now--I'm not really here, only... a part of me is here in this Reality..."

She takes a step to him, yet still lingers a safe, reasonable distance away from him, her feet hesitating on the carpet.

"I'm dreaming in our Reality on Destiny Islands, but I found a way to skip Realities through your memories. I followed the chain here, by skipping through memories of people connected to you--they lead me here, but..."

She turns slightly away from him, regarding the sleek room and the world outside full of such tall buildings she's never seen before, they seem so impossible.

"Like I said, I don't have much time. Once I wake up in my Reality, I have to go back. If I don't, I risk becoming trapped here," she tells him softly, her tone crumbling like ash--a piece of her wants to stay, but a larger part of her knows she's needed at home. "I'll come back though, once I'm asleep again."

Her eyes are watery, like pools of watercolors bleeding together.

"Is there anything you want me to tell... Kairi? Or Riku? They've--been looking for you everywhere," she says, her smile a little more worn, sadder. She doesn't deserve any words from Sora, she's well-aware. But she's willing to carry a message for him back home to the people that truly love and cherish him--not someone like her, a witch with the powers to torment his memories... she's better like this--a messenger, a temporary fixture in his life.

A ghost from the past haunting his perfect days...

♕ - That couldn’t be. A voice so familiar, one that exemplifies the cool rush of the rolling waves of the ocean itself. For all the fortitude he managed to compact into the decision of embracing sacrifice in the name of his beloved friends, for so many to get their lives started, could there truly be a force out there that wanted to make the weight of a cruel hope to pack itself into his chest?

Except... that call of his name didn’t find itself paused, stopped or evaporated into the realms of hopeful whimsy. Being declared as found caused the annals of sleep itself to be rapidly torn away, for the hero’s eyes to open in such speed that inklings of pains snagged at it’s grip as he rises.

Try as he might to associate any semblance of balance into this moment, that desperate, thorny and hope led to him fighting through that pain, all in order to see a voice so heavily associated from the very cosmos he came from. What slams through him is a sense of joyous, pained disbelief finding that blonde field of hair that ran like angelic gold, coupled together with those very eyes that were stuck in a similar stance as his. He couldn’t believe a hope this nigh impossible.

“N.. Namine..?” No matter how much time has passed, how many conditions tethered and wrapped by countless realities and rules, burning within breast is the indomitable determination of those feelings that burned into resolve since their times set in the world of Sea and Sky. Deep down, after seeing how much care she held for people while held on the precarious balance of becoming a melded force of shadow as ethereal ivory, the decision to ensure she could have a future as bright as the hope her drawings carried..

....? Wait, what?

Sadly time wasn’t a resource that didn’t intend to be any form of kind. He could see it with the melancholic air that’s settled around her phantasmal figure. Every part of him wanted to trudge forth and immediately  meet her with an embrace that practically crushes her against him. To allow her rest, refuge and also to selfishly soak in the moment they’ve reunited, the comfort of shared warmth. Yet? An alien fear settles, the magical condition of a dream, how good things could never interact with for long periods. There was a heart rumbling pain to the way her sweet smile conveys a sentiment they’ve both come to understand. All it left Sora with was the choice of enduring that burn, to keep frozen and keep those instincts of his wishes tightly leashed.

“And you managed a miracle like that?” From the way his disbelieving chuckle echoes, how that twist of sentiment bloom in such a moment..

She was incredible. Unknown feelings that slither int he darkness of his heart, the brand that remains locked and held in the light, part of him wonders dares to wonder if she could ever see these things about herself. “Namine, ..You’re amazing.”

Whereas the complexities of this metropolis, a constant hub of bustle not kissed by the blanket of night and a shimmering move above, it remained an island of lights, activity itself with the power of human ingenuity fueling those very buildings. ...And in all honesty? Sora could find himself truly caring less about any of that in this moment. It was taking everything not to accidentally disrupt the arrival of someone who became his hope through her efforts.

..What did he even do to deserve her help to this extent, truly? It was an odd question that always scratched at the back of his mind, frustration drawing forth an itchiness as if he knows... Used to know.

Bit by bit, his feet crossed that polished wood surface, his heart echoing painfully in a need to bring her over, a fear that he’s silently fraying apart the unbelievably miracle all the same. Just enough. He wanted to be at a point where the many lights outside couldn’t tear his focus away from the spirit of Namine who kept the reality of their situation brief and concise.. yet, not without it’s kindness. Being allowed the grounds of a freedom he didn’t imagine having anytime soon, it slams him into breathlessness, tinges of worried concern bubbling with the elevated pace of his heart. So many times his emotions easily knew the means to say, so why the fear now? What was this damnable concern about how much time they carried?!

“I..” There’s a pause in his thoughts while he reflects on those final moments shared way back then. Him and all his friends together, him proudly carrying a secret of limited time, enjoying the waking dream of all of them simply kicking back to enjoy a future together... Almost.

No matter the situation. Sora knew that another call was going to lead him out into the stars irregardless. No different then how Namine went through such incredible lengths to find him, to support all of them, the gratitude is river of calm that brings him an instance of peace...

“Tell them, I’m okay. Things were a bit scary for me at first... but, I’m not gonna let their faith fade away by being in real trouble, I’m holding up fine as I can manage. I found even more hope, a hero.”

”Tell them that Namine is that person. The person who braved so much to find me, and how I can’t thank her enough...” He’s inevitably and contently the first one to crack. It was a burn that felt alleviated despite the pains of it coming forth. Even his voice hovered onto the precipice due to the heaviness of a tone balancing happy tears. A single streak of heat drips down his cheek as the look he offers her was undeniably hopeful.  All the same, he hates how he can’t recall what transpired for him to deserve someone like her, only left with a small leafet from a journal that describe to solely Thank Namine.

By Hearts she deserved it, and he needed to find that reason why. The original reason had to of shared.

“Could you please do that for me? I want to count on you more than anything.”

@witchofremembrance

#witchofremembrance #| Bottle Mail #-CLUTCHES CHEST- #OOOH WHEN I HAD MY OPEN MOMENT #I wanted to go absolutely all out for this ask

[watarulesbian]

wataru hibiki my precious lil birdie aaaawwwwwww 

anyway i wish i had the energy to think deep thoujghts about her . deep thoughts thatd make me feel like a real #1 wataruknower . i wish i had the will to get my ass over to some enstars stories featuring wataru and read them but i dont hav anyfucking will for anything but mindless scrolling and being pessimistic i was doing #stuff today and then i had a therapy appointment and bam rest of day wasted............................................................................................... besides when i painted for a while lol i got watercolor set for xmas and its quite fun 

wataru is MINE!!!!!!!!!!! MY CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE LEAVESME AWESTRUCK I CANT EVEN THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! unless youre one of my three friends from twitter (hi) you have NO IDEA of the extent. of how i so adore and love wataru. and even than thats not all of my love for her. 

one thing tho i love when people draw her face very expressive. i wish i could do that in my own art of her........ im better than ai but worse than most actual artists :( i want to die because im not able to capture her accurately in artistic mediums but other people can? so MAD!!! KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE (to myself not to the wonderful talented artists who i admire very much) 

idk i just feelt like shit lately. its because i havent gotten enough wataru. the enstar doctor perscribd me 10 hours of wataru hibiki a day and lately ive been getting like 2 a day when i NEED more than that i need. like 10! i need my mind to reboot my brain and maybe put a fucking timer on youtube because i keep looking at shitty uoiutube shorts WASTING MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE AWAY AND MAKING ME DEPRESSED AND DOOMFUL AND AAAARGHH 

how many of you even know my name? i know 3 of you do (hi again) 

tumblr isd better for making long incoherent posts huuuuu 

need one of those send a number and ill give a ___ headcannon things ummmmmmmmmmmm idk i feel like all my awnsers to thosewould be dissapointingly bland and im scared that there will be something in cannon thatd contradict my hc (NOT LIKE A LESBIAN HC BUT LIKE A LIKE/DISLIKE THING) wataru is lesbian by the way and i think, as an autisticl esbian mysjmlf and YOUR wataru expert Wataru feels the isolations. the lesbian isolations. the autism isolations. maybe its weird and unrelated to what im saying here and it might sound even crude but whenever someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me . and i know i should probably tell that to a therapist and not post it on tumblr for anyone whos former ident lesbian to see this and feel guilty or mad at me but i JUST had a therapy appointment today and need to get it out. its been in my brain for a long time. and ive of course ive come to recognize and get used to people changing, ive never thought or said to anyone “nooo you cant be _____ youre supposed to be my fellow lesbian :(” but i never see anyone ever talking about feeling sad when a lesbian they know turns out to Not be a lesbian except in the context of transphobia or homophobia. like im NOT one of those asses saying “a trans man? we lost a lesbian im so sad” “noo lesbi ann is dating a man and changing her name to bai sexxx this is so not her! come back lesbi ann!” im just saying i feel  like when someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me. and im NOT trying to guilt trip! and PLEASE dont be mad at me!  and i get USED to people not being lesbian! the emptiness goes away after several months! but yea whatever 

i want someone out there to make more art of eichi lovingly brushing and braiding watarus beautiful long hair. fic or art. or cannon for the love of god... theyd BOTH enjoy it the same amount im telling uou. even when they grow old together watarus hair is still long and still so nice and soft tbh like she got upset that it all turned white and talked about possibly dying it a lot but eichi is like My Wife Of Many Years You Are So Beautiful With White Hair You Are A Goddess. I Love It Just As Much As When It Was Blue.      but in present time as 19 year old young lesbian lovers i just know wataru has falllen asleep while eichi runs his fingers through watarus wonderful amazing shiny superlong hair. i know wataru doesnt wanna like be asleep in front of people but as part of showing her human side more, i see her doing it tbh, eichi loves seeing his girlfriend asleep and is always like Awwww :3 wataru doing normal human things with eichi is actually cannon btw and im smiling thinking aboutt that 

i want to write a magnus archives statement about watarus expieriences with a fountain (the stranger) she makes a foolish wish on that has her live a year where evgery day she wakes up in a different persons life and body and its totally torturous. after 365 days of that shes finally in the life and body of wataru hibiki again but she is incredibly traumatized . happier ending than most magnus archives statements because she is ALIVE with no physical injury and doesnt end up dying or anything. the stranger. i remember when i was really lttle i came across a ton of amazon reviews for a book that had a premise basically similar to this except itwas a creature who lived like this and it was a love story or something LET ME FIND IT HOLD ON 

its called “Every Day” i found it lol 

i never read it but i reacd the reviews 8 years ago so i feel like i know it well enough. it was easy to find by one single google search  ahaha 

i hsould be going to bed now thanks for listening tubmlmr 

[danihow]

Two strangers

Park Sunghoon x GN!Reader

Enhypen

Summary: Some people are meant to be in your life until the end, most just stay a few chapters, and much to you dismay or your fortune, Sunghoon was one of those.

Word count: 2.4k words.

Warnings: Fights, arguments, yelling, discussing, falling out of love, maybe a bit toxic?, heavy angst, angsty ending, just full on angst.

A/N: I wrote this in two hours on sunday night after selecting a random playlist in my spotofy and landing on this songs (a, b, c, d), I am actually not too find of it AT ALL, but I know i cant erase it an dtry again, so I hope i didnt actually lost the track of it at least four different times. THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD, if yall dont like it let me know so i can sit down with it a bit more.

Maybe this was wrong all along.

How could you ever think this would work?

For god's sake, he's a goddamn idol, and you are just a normal person who works a normal job.

Mind wandering all over the place, picking up on everything that passes through it but sticking to nothing.

You were tired, you were emotionally and mentally drained from anything and everything in this relationship the two of you held, at the beginning, everything seemed to be perfect, a relationship that bloomed between two humans, one that flourished with the cherry blossoms on the trees of the park the two of you met, three years ago.

Your mind could still recall the way Sunghoon's eyes were lit up in a beautiful brightness while he talked to you, a wide smile on his face under the mask he wore, his eyes like crescent moons, the beauty mark on his nose bridge gaining your attention on multiple times as you stared at his eyes; all the times you left a small peck over it when you two cuddled still fresh on your mind. He was beautiful, you always knew that but over all of the beauty he held it was the way he treated you that made you finally fall head first for him.

But just as the blossoms are meant to flourish, they are meant to fall from the tree and perish against the concrete. And so did you two.

You couldn't exactly pinpoint when in time you two changed, your couple dynamic experiencing some drastic twirls and turns until it all seemed to have been just a dream, a far memory painted in watercolor that slowly faded to a scale of greys. None of you noticing when you stopped cuddling on the sofa together and started sitting on the opposite ends, when your hands stopped holding the other's and instead reached towards your phone more and more, when your gazes stop smiling when he got home from work, when your body stopped aching for his warmth every time he spent several days away.

Some time ago you two held a love so warm and pretty it could melt the ice and make flowers bloom anytime and anywhere just by being there, looking deep into the other's eyes with such love and adoration it was clear for anyone that surrounded you.

Now, when you two looked at the other you both felt like this was a whole new person, different from the one you muttered small “I love you”s every time you felt like it, now his eyes held some sharp edges that made you scared of cutting yourself into, your eyes dark to the point his heart felt itself crouching in fear of its depth, not recognizing what could be there if he was to turn on the light.

You didn't felt like a couple now, just like two persons that hold a title over whatever you have going on. That's what it was now, you guessed, just a title of partners that were tied more by it than by the love you were supposed to have, just a formality for everyone to see- wait, for no one to see.

No one could see what you were, the fact making your heart scrunch in your chest every time you thought of it, the two of you loving behind the walls of your apartment, his job getting in between the two of you ever since the beginning.

When you two started dating it was official for a few people, you, him, your parents, your siblings and no one else, and you were okay with it, your heart full of love totally okay with the idea of having a secret relationship, comfortable with it most of the time. But then, as time went by, and he didn't seemed to make you two public any time soon you started getting sick of it; hate slowly boiling in you against your own relationship.

Maybe... maybe that's when it all started to fall. That night.

You two had gotten in a huge fight, you suggested telling the public your relationship, letting the world know that Park Sunghoon had a partner, and it was you, but oh how he disliked the idea, fear of the media itself felling all of his senses, and what started as a discussion ended up in yelling your lungs out to each other, the burdens the two if you held strike to the other without any hesitation.

He had stormed out, not wanting to keep on listening to your screams and staring at your teary eyed faced. That was the first time you two applied the ice law, going on for three days without speaking a word to the other, both elongating your stay out of the apartment you shared just to avoid the other for a bit longer. But your still love dazed heart couldn't handle it, him ending up cuddled on top of your body as you two cried out, his breaking voice pleading you to wait a bit more for him, both of your voices mashing up in apologies and sobs, settling to break out the relationship to his group and agency.

Right there. That was the exact moment the downfall of your relationship started, the tip of the iceberg, the beginning of an unpleasant rollercoaster.

The smiles and mutters of sweet nothings late at night turning slowly into serious bickering and double edged words just to end in a crying session of apologies and amends, trying to band aid the crack that grew between you.

Maybe, your heart guessed now, we were never actually together, always having differences between you but letting them slide, piling them up at the bottom of it all just for them to start breaking up the surface, like Pompeii. Maybe, it was always meant for the crystal home you two had to break in pieces and never be glued back together, even if you two tried countless times.

Gluing back the fallen pieces seemed to work, at least the first times, but them, the crease grew and grew, your boyfriend ploddingly morphing into a stranger who you shared a bed with, a name you once knew becoming just letters that lit up something in the back of your mind.

"I KNOW you Y/N, stop changing the facts so much." He had said, hand brushing through his hair as he turned to face you, exasperated.

"Maybe you don't actually know me! Have you ever thought about that?" You had snapped back, fingers pointing to your head and then at him, making him more exasperated.

"You are my partner, how could I not know you?"

"There are multiple ways, Sunghoon, too many." You said, voice dropping low again, tired.

"Go ahead then, I'm all ears." He said back, arms spread wide to show you how he was willing to listen, head nodding for you to begin.

"I told you I hate sleeping without a blanket on, yet, you still complain I carry one around." You start, your stressed heart speaking for your brain.

"I hate the dark, and if you knew that, you wouldn't let me walk alone back to our apartment when visiting you at the dorms." Two tunes higher, slowly, passively raising your voice as his face did not changed, unamused and somehow making you exasperated yourself.

"If I eat too many berries I get an allergy on my skin, yet I still eat all the berry cakes you buy me on our anniversary just for you to laugh at my red lips and blushed skin."

"I don't like St. Valentine’s Day, I in fact believe it is a dumb celebration, and yet you manage to make me celebrate it."

"And if you gave me a couple more minutes I could make a WHOLE damn list, Sunghoon." And now you were back to your voice raised, his eyes blank, scanning your own before snapping.

"Are you trying to tell I don't care about you? Is that it!?"

"MAYBE I AM, SUNGHOON, may- maybe I implying that, but I guess at the end is what you want to understand, isn't it?" You said back, keeping the two meter distance between the two of you, not daring to get closer or farer.

"I can't do this today, Y/N, I-" he said, eyes leaving yours, brain turning to try and know what to do, letting your argument go. With large and silent steps, he walked back, taking his coat and opening the door. "Goodnight." He said just as the door closed behind him, leaving you standing alone in your living room.

That was the first time he didn't came home after a fight, staying over at Jay's for two days before returning, but it never came back to what it was, and you both noticed it right away.

You initial relationship just a far memory of the past, unreachable.

As time passed the Sunghoon you loved was not there anymore, and the Y/N he loved wasn't either.

It appeared you were now strangers who once loved each other. Your relationship just a myth that sometimes appeared, when the high appeared once every blue moon. Now, both of you rarely talked, rarely acting as the couple you were supposed to be.

Two strangers holding on to a thread that connected them, used to the presence they once loved, unable to let go.

He now came home late at nights lately, his workmates seeing how decayed he looked, tour own coworkers noting your dreary behavior. Neither of you shone anymore, together or alone, the light that had captivated the other disappeared.

And, much to your unfortune, you were the first one two pick up on it, when one day you missed the brightness he had, meditating and coming to the painful conclusion that you took it away, you had turned him off instead of powering him up.

The both of you were the cause of your own downfall.

Sunghoon didn't lit up the room anymore, and you hated yourself for it. A sudden urge of giving him his spark back flooding you, the little love you still held in your heart for what he was before being the boost you needed to let go.

And, even if you didn't knew him anymore, it hurt, it hurt to pack your bags and take the initiative to leave, because leaving this apartment you shared meant to leave all of what you were behind, leaving him behind.

You didn't talk, you barely kissed anymore, but the idea of what it was and what it could've been feeling like a hundred knives against your tired heart.

You left Sunghoon's life for good on March 21st before midnight, taking in your arms your last bag of clothing after leaving a letter on the counter you two used to cook dinner together. Taking all of you to start again far from him, an attempt full of the very last drops of love you could find for him to shine again, to light up the world like he used to, to be the person he was supposed to be.

He wasn't supposed to come home that day until 2 a.m., but, as if the universe was in need of a decent closure to this chapter in time you found him at the lobby, his tired figure waiting for the other elevator to go up home. Eyes locking with yours as you stepped out, bag in your shoulder and box in your hand.

"Y/N?" He had muttered, and oh, how long it had been since you felt emotion in his voice as your name fell from his lips.

"I'm sorry." Was all you could say, pleading him to eventually forgive you with your gaze, tears pricking in your eyes as you turned.

You knew that was an image your brain would never manage to forget, the way his eyes were glazed in unshed tears that slowly built, the glint of happiness they once held when they landed on you replaced by the deepest sadness, you'd seen him wear. His heart realizing from your two words more that you could ever tell him, but what hurt you the most was the way he didn't fought you.

He didn't say anything back, he just stood there, watching you leave his life, making you know he understood, that he knew it had to happen even if neither of you wanted to admit it.

You left Park Sunghoon, for good.

When he walked in your apartment and your stuff missing finally sunk on him, you were gone, you weren't his Y/N anymore, but it didn’t pained as much as he thought, brain slowly realizing how it had to be made, calling himself a coward for letting you do it first.

His knees hit the floor, a hand flying to his chest as his heart stung in a weird feeling, a feeling that drowned him but made him feel alive again, but because he was feeling. His heart sensing too much too fast, tears started falling and he started sobbing, all of the hurting he bottled up this past months finally snapping.

Letting you go was hard, but he was no one to fight for you to stay in his life when he had burnt you out. Something in his heart forcing to accept how it was maybe the best, even if it hurt like a bitch.

Maybe it was wrong all along.

Maybe you two were just a chapter that had to happen in each other's lives.

And maybe, losing yourselves to the idea of your love was necessary.

But it all didn't make it less hard.

And now, a year after your silent break up he dared to appear on the show you watched, a small smile on your face as you saw him shine again, maybe not as bright as before you, but far brighter than how you left him. At least you now knew all this pain wasn't for nothing, and he from his stage hopes you are starting to shine again, just as how you did when he fell in love.

Because even if you once were his all just as he was yours, you are now two strangers in hopes for the other to shine.

To you, Sunghoon was just an idol.

And to him, you were a person he once knew.

©danihow. 2022. All rights reserved. Re-uploading, translating or any sort of modifying any work piece is not allowed.

This is a work of fiction, people mentioned or involved are actual human beings and none of this work is based on actual facts over the celebrities mentioned nor is intented to portray them in a realistic way.

Any problem detected on the information given may be comunicated to me via DM.

#enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon angst #sunghoon x y/n #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon #enhypen x y/n

[viastro]

areum | lee seokmin

ミ★ synopsis: in which you’re trying to draw out a scene in the park, but end up meeting a lost, gorgeous, dog. who just so happens to have a cute owner with a beautiful smile to match.

ミ★ genre: first meetings!au, artist!reader, pure fluff

ミ★ warnings: none! unless you’re allergic to dogs or something who knows

ミ★ word count: 1,907

ミ★ pairings: seokmin x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! this was a really cute prompt i thought of as i was staring at my dog’s microchip HAFKWLANGLK i was going to use a gif from the left & right mv but then i saw this gif and started crying because he looks so soft i cant do thisheLP !!! but i hope you guys like this as much as i do <333 

You sit on the bench as you stare at the falling leaves from the maple trees. Pursing your lips, you glance back down at your drawing, letting out a sigh once you realize it looks nothing like what you originally wanted to create. You rip out the page, crumpling it in your hand and shoving it into your backpack. 

You’ve been assigned a project to draw a portrait from your favorite season in the year, and it’s due in a month. Since it’s Fall, you thought it was fitting to draw out the leaves falling from the trees in the city park. However, your instructor told your class that it had to feel personal, he had to be able to look at your creation and feel the emotion you wanted to come out of it.

So you planned to just draw like… a family having a picnic or something to spice things up. Unfortunately, there is no family out having a picnic due to it being 50° F. Not to mention the fact that you’ve been trying to draw the leaves falling from the trees for the past hour and it just hasn’t worked out. You let out a sigh, placing your journal beside you and just looking up to stare at the cloudy sky. 

That is, until you feel something… wet... nudge your ankle. You glance back down, finding a happy golden retriever staring at you with no leash. You let out a smile, raising an eyebrow as you reach out to the bright dog. 

“Hi baby! Where’s your owner?” You ask in a high-pitched voice, and the dog just tip taps on its feet excitedly as you move to check out its collar. You let out a sigh of relief when you find a dog tag, finding that the sweet golden’s name is Areum. You turn the tag over to find the owner’s number, and you quickly pull out your phone. 

“Areum, stay here baby.” You say, holding onto her(?) collar. You quickly glance down again to check their genitals, to find that Areum is, in fact, a female. You pet her head as you type in the number, before placing the phone close to your ear once it rings. After a moment the person on the other end answers.

“Hello?” Your eyes widen at the sweet voice, having not expected that. “Hi! I think I may have found your dog at the park. Do you perhaps own a golden named Areum?” 

You hear the person let out a happy cry, and you laugh as they start thanking you vigorously. You nod your head, “Of course! I’m currently at Yongsan Park, do you want me to meet you or should you come here-”

“I’m already on my way! I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes!!” The owner tells you, and you smile. You say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone, turning to Areum who is just happily tip tapping her feet once again. “Now why did you leave your owner? They sounded worried sick over the phone.” 

Areum just barks in response, reaching up and licking your face as you giggle at her. You pat her head fondly, finding her to be the prettiest dog you’ve ever seen. You lift up your phone to take a picture of her smiling happily at you, tongue out and all. 

“I wonder if your owner is as cute as you.” 

oh my god he is as cute as her. 

You stare in awe as the owner happily hugs Areum, giving her plenty of kisses. He quickly puts on her leash before continuing to coo at the golden retriever. His hair is brown with blue highlights in the front, which would typically look ridiculous on an average person. However, who we have here is not average in the slightest. 

He has a sharp nose and kind eyes, ones that become even sweeter once he smiles. He has a cute little mole on his cheek, and it makes you cry inside because it somehow makes him even prettier. He lets out a laugh once Areum licks his cheek, and you squeeze your fist at how beautiful it sounds. 

You tilt your head to the side when you feel your hand itch with the urge to draw out the scene in front of you. The leaves fall softly from the trees as Areum licks her owner, causing him to laugh loudly. All while the sun is breaking out through the clouds behind them, shining light onto the two. You remind yourself to not forget the visual so that you can paint it later.

“Don’t you ever run away like that! You made me so worried. You’re so lucky that this prett—this nice person found you!” You feel your cheeks aflame at the fact that he almost called you pretty, and you watch as the tips of his ears turn red. Seokmin curses for almost outing himself, but he can’t help it.

you really are quite beautiful.

“Thank you for calling me when Areum came up to you, she ran out of my house as soon as I opened the door and I couldn’t catch her. I almost peed my pants out of fear that I wouldn’t find her.” Seokmin tells you in complete and utter honesty, causing you to let out a laugh. You shake your head, waving a hand at him, “It was no biggie. She’s an absolute sweetheart and I knew her owner must’ve been worried sick.” 

Seokmin smiles, before sticking his hand out for you to shake, “Let me properly introduce myself. Hi, I’m Seokmin.” 

You grin, reaching out and grabbing a hold of his hand, “I’m yn, it’s nice to meet you and Areum.” 

The two of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment, the handshake being long forgotten as you both have gotten distracted by the sight before you. Seokmin tilts his head to the side, smiling softly at the sparkle in your eyes. While you take notice the softness to his eyes, hair falling over his forehead.

“How about I take you out to coffee?” He asks suddenly, and your eyes widen slightly. He releases his grasp of your hand, watching as your arm slowly falls back to your side. “To thank you, because I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done if Areum wasn’t found.” 

You let out a breath, having to remind yourself that he wasn’t asking you on a date. Seokmin grins at your reaction, finding you to be rather cute. You nod your head after a moment, brushing your hand through your hair. “I’d love to.”

Seokmin bites his lip to hold back another smile from forming, and glances down towards Areum, who is happily sitting beside him. The golden looks back and forth between the two of you, and she lets out a tiny bark. 

“I’ll just have to pack up my stuff here first, I was doing an art project.” You tell Seokmin, walking over to the bench to place your art supplies into your bag. A crumpled piece of paper falls from your bag, and he walks over to pick it up. 

“You dropped this.” Seokmin says, about to hand it to you when his eye catches a drawn out leaf. He unwraps it, and you’re about to open your mouth in protest, but the drawing is already unraveled. His eyes widen in surprise at how beautifully drawn the scene is, and he wonders why you would ever throw it away.

“This is amazing! Why is it all crumpled?” He asks you, and you reach up to rub the back of your neck out of shyness. You shrug at him, turning back to shove your art journal into your backpack. “It’s not how I wanted it to look. I’m supposed to make the drawing personal, and have a clear emotion be shown through it. I was going to add a family having a picnic, but I ended up scrapping the whole thing in general. It’s not what I wanted.” 

Seokmin nods his head in understanding, still glancing at the crumpled up artwork. He hands it back to you, and you give him a smile, shaking your head and nudging it back towards him. “You can keep it, it seems like you like it a lot.” 

“Thank you.” He mutters quietly, and you zip up your backpack, turning back towards him. Areum barks excitedly once you show that you’re ready for the impromptu coffee date, and Seokmin grins. 

“Let’s go get coffee and a puppuccino for Areum.” Seokmin states as the two of you walk side by side out of the park, and you chuckle.

“Not from Starbucks though, right?”

“Definitely not.” 

“Epic, they’re problematic.”

“I think this is the start of a wonderful relationship.”

“I think so too, Seokmin.”

“Hi Professor Kim, here’s my project. Thank you for letting me turn it in a bit late, I wanted to make sure it was perfect.” You say as you carefully place the wrapped painting onto his table. He looks up with a smile, removing his glasses and standing up to greet you. “Of course, I know that artists always like to add last minute details.” 

You grin, and you watch as he unwraps your painting. You bite your lip anxiously, watching his reaction as he takes it in. It’s been a month since you first met Seokmin, and the two of you actually became a couple.

he also became your muse.

Your teacher lets out a soft smile after a moment of staring at the piece you created, glancing up at you. You watch as the sunlight hits the orange of the falling leaves on the painting, coordinating with Areum’s golden fur. Seokmin’s face isn’t detailed, but you can see the bright white of his smile as he hugs the beautiful dog. 

“It’s beautiful yn, your use of watercolor really brought out the softness and beauty of this scene. Are these two close to you?” Your professor asks, and you grin. “Yeah, I love them.” 

“I can tell, it really shows through this creation of yours. This is a wonderful painting, yn. Your grade should be in by the end of the week.” You nod, giving him your thanks before stepping out of the classroom. You hug your arms as you turn the corner, seeing Seokmin standing by the brick wall on his phone, waiting for you.

“Seok!” He glances up at the call of his name, a smile immediately breaking out onto his face when he sees you walking over to him. “Yn! Did he like it?” He asks once you’re right beside him, wrapping an arm over your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your temple in greeting.

“I think so, and it’s all because of you.” You tell your boyfriend, and he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Nah, it’s because you’re great at what you do.” You smile, before wrapping your arm around his waist. The two of you walk down the steps, with you explaining how your professor reacted while Seokmin nods. Once you both pass the maple trees, he glances down at you to see you grinning happily. He squeezes your shoulder, smiling softly. 

what a blessing to have you.

“What do you wanna eat, bub?” 

“Hm, pork belly!” 

“You just wanna look at my arms as I grill the meat, don’t you?” 

“And what of it?”

#caratwritersclub #seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen oneshots #seventeen au #seventeen dk #seventeen dokyeom #seventeen seokmin #dokyeom oneshot #dokyeom scenarios #dokyeom x reader #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom #seokmin oneshot #seokmin x reader #seokmin scenarios #seokmin fluff #lee seokmin #lee dokyeom

[june-again]

HI WHAT CONGRATS ON 600 OMASGDHGDHHG

CAN I GET A FANCY SHMANCY MATCHUP IF THEY'RE STILL OPEN??

MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/HER, AND I HAVE A MALE PREFERENCE!!

my personality HHHMMM YOU PROBABLY KNOW IT PRETTY WELL BY NOW?? IM PRETTY ALL OVER THE PLACE NGL FSDJJFSD- chaotic = morosis ✋😩 IM THE SAME IRL AS I AM ONLINE BAHHSDAH

im a talkative introvert I THINK THATS HOW YOU WOULD DESCRIBE IT

OKAY HOBBIES!! i love writing, drawing/watercolor, and playing ukulele heheeee

reLATIONSHIPS HGNNG- okay i just look for someone i can have fun around?? if we cant have fun then that's a no for me BHAHSHDF- HUMOR IS IMPORTANT TOO

IDK i just want them to love me & SHOW THEIR LOVE FOR ME TOO as someone who needs a lot of reassurance BAASHDF

FAVORITE SONG!! AT THE MOMENT ITS PROBABLY "KISS ME MORE" BY DOJA CAT AND SZA BECAUSE?? ITS A BOP??

ANSDFHHBA ANYWAYS WOW THANK YOU SM AAAAAAAHH

CONGRATS AGAIN ON 600 BECAUSE YOU DESERVE ALLLLL OF THAT AND SO SO MUCH MORE YOU AMAZING HUMAN

GO DRINK SOME WATER RIGHT THIS INSTANT

AND EAT SOME FOOD WHILE YOURE AT IT

ILYYYYY

ƚԋαɳƙ ყσυ ϝσɾ ʂҽҽƙιɳɠ ყσυɾ ϝαƚҽ. the stars are alligning...

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

you have been matched with...

BOKUTO KOTARO

— -> Bokuto Kotaro is known for his vibrant personality and good-naturedness. He has mood swings, and if you’re not used to him they may seem unpredictable. However, he trusts his teammates and supports them just as much as they do him, and although he might cause some problems for his team it isn’t his intention, ever. He’s a great guy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

✧ bokuto loves listening to you talk. when you get those stars of excitement in your eyes they mirror in his because boy LOVES it when you’re happy or passionate or anything.

✧ THE MATCHING PERSONALITIES>>> the two of you both need that assurance but you understand that about each other which is why you’re totally a power couple. mans definitely messed up a few times at first trying to figure out what you need from him but he’s got it down now and he’s so good at being there for you.

✧ bokuto‘s jaw literally DROPS at your writing and art. “how did you do this?” “BABE HOW ARE YOU SO TALENTED” “I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M WITH SOMEONE THIS SKILLED. I LOVE YOU, WOW” “HEY DID YOU DO THIS? BABY!!!” etc.

runner-ups: TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE, AKAASHI KEIJI

notes: DLKSFLDKSH I HAD WAY TOO MUCH FUN DOING THIS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ASKLKHS I COULD NOT SEE YOU WITH ANYONE ELSE BUT I WAS ACTUALLY VERY CLOSE TO GIVING YOU TANAKA WHICH IS THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT FROM ME TRUST ME ALKHWJAJAJA

600 EVENT (CLOSED!) // NAVIGATION

#600 matchups #elk's asks #LYAAAAAAAA #zsejkrlKJAEIOJWT$KEOIje #sorry for doing so much caps in this #i swear that's not the norm for me #JKSADSJJAJ #WELL ACTUALLY #WELL

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Helllooo May i request a fic where the reader is an art student in the university of oxenfurt and Jaskier come in as a model one day. She falls in love with him immidiatally and just cant stop painting pictures about him. Later Jask visits her in her studio and see all the stuff about himself. Then love confession( maybe he's been writing songs about her) and some soft kissing😇

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 2,099Rating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan a/n: This was a lovely prompt, I hope you like what I did with i!

“Hmm… I don’t think you’ve quite captured me.”

You shook your head and a little smile turned up the corner of your mouth but you kept your eyes focused on your canvas.

“You are supposed to be a model and models don’t speak,” you murmured quietly.

“I’m so bored though.”

You glanced up at the man who posed in front of you. Jaskier was hunched over, chin resting on his fist. He looked more pouting than pensive as he was supposed to be but the moment your eyes met, he perked up a bit.

There was no one else in the art studio since it was after hours, class having ended long ago. You’d been sick one day and Jaskier had graciously volunteered to come by and help you catch up on what you’d missed. You were in week three of the “month long strip tease” as he called it, taking a layer off each time. This week he was down to a loosely untucked chemise, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and pants whose laces were undone but still rested just at the hip. Boots were long gone, leaving him barefoot. Indeed, if anyone who walked by the doors saw him in his attire and you, a bit sweaty with disheveled hair, tired after a long day of classes made longer by this extra work, they would have assumed something unsavory was happening. They would have been tragically mistaken.

“You didn’t have to agree to this. Hell, it was your idea,” you reminded him, extending the handle of your paintbrush to gently position his chin back to where it was supposed to be. He playfully nipped at the brush but then moved back into position dutifully.

“Hmm, yes, and why do you suppose I did that?” he asked. It was the same flirtatious tone he used with everyone and you knew that, but still you felt a little shiver of excitement at the tone. Perhaps one day someone would use that with you and mean it but it wouldn’t be Jaskier, the traveling bard with a thousand muses around the globe. He had no need for a simple art student with barely enough life experiences to count on one hand. That would change when you graduated, though. You were determined. Though as the day came closer you grew more anxious about those barely conceived plans.

“You are a patron of the arts of course,” you replied, mixing the shades of blue together. You’d known the first day he walked into the classroom that those eyes would torment you as you tried to create the right shade to capture them. You knew you’d never feel you truly got it right and so far you’d been correct. You’d made far more paintings than the three you’d done for class. In your personal studio you had what appeared to be a shrine to the bard. You just couldn’t get him out of your head and your fingers itched constantly to paint him again, to try and capture his likeness better, more accurately.

“I suppose that must be it,” Jaskier said in somewhat plaintive tone. Yet when you looked back at him again he gave you a little wink and you stopped worrying, rolling your eyes again and setting to get the portrait done.

You were finished before another hour passed and though he tried to catch a glimpse you successfully hid it from him.

“I offered you a deal,” you said, “You show me the song you’ve been working on and I’ll show you the painting that I’m working on. A fair trade of artistic sampling.”

“Perhaps another time,” he said, “May I walk you home?”

Since meeting in that first class nearly a month ago the pair of you had struck up an easy friendship. In truth you felt much more than that for him but you were happy just for the chance to talk with him, much less anything else. He was brilliant and funny and endlessly encouraging. When you told him of your dreams of traveling he’d insisted that you do it and even offered to introduce you to some nobles who had a keen eye for artists they wanted to support. In all of that time, though, you’d never seen each other away from the sprawling campus of Oxenfurt University.

“Alright,” you said a little reluctantly, nervous but also unwilling to pass up a single opportunity to spend more time with him. He gallantly offered you his arm and the pair of you walked through the streets. It was twilight and lamplighters were roving about to light the lanterns that would keep you safe as you walked, the skies bathed in a soft golden and pink watercolor.

“Are you excited to be finishing classes soon?” Jaskier asked.

“I should be,” you said. He laughed, but not unkindly. It was a laugh of understanding.

“I felt much the same when I approached graduation,” he said, “Sometimes I think that’s why I come back so often to lecture and just visit. I felt safe here.”

“Do you not feel safe out there?” you asked.

“No. But that’s part of the fun of it, right? The uncertainty, the potential for danger which makes it exciting,” he mused.

“I suppose so… But I do wish there was a way to both have adventures and be safe or at least feel safer,” you replied.

“Travelling with a witcher has helped a bit. You’re much harder to kill with one around,” he said.

“You’re also the target of more attacks though,” you countered. You’d heard him tell stories about his adventures to breathless students but you hadn’t joined in on their glee. Instead you’d grown more and more worried about the bard’s safety and whether you’d ever see him again once he’d left the school to join Geralt on his next hunt.

“Well there’s always a tradeoff,” Jaskier said glibly. You walked in silence for a time and when you reached your home you realized that at some point during the walk your hooked elbows had slid down to clasped hands. You both noticed at the same time and laughed a little nervously.

“Would you like some tea?” you offered instinctively, not wanting the moment to end. Jaskier eagerly agreed and followed you into your house. It was a humble place but he praised it as though it were a mansion, and he’d likely seen many in his time. Hell, as a viscount, perhaps he had even been raised in one.

“Make yourself at home,” you called as you walked to the little kitchen to get the fire going. Jaskier didn’t need telling twice, already walking around the room, looking at book titles and little drawings. He smiled at what appeared to be an early art piece of yours that had been lovingly framed by a family member, a drawing scrawled by a child that seemed to be… a dog? An elephant? Some animal. He continued to walk through the little house, glancing into the open door of your bedroom. There was a closed door and though he knew you probably would rather he didn’t, he couldn’t fight back his curiosity and opened the door.

—–

“Jaskier? Tea is ready! Jaskier?” you walked back into the little living area and saw no sign of him. You poked your head down the hall and almost walked back away, thinking he may have left suddenly, and then you saw a sliver of light coming from the door you knew had been closed. Your heart leapt to your throat and you ran towards it as though you could outpace what had already occurred.

There stood Jaskier, staring at a portrait you’d most recently completed, surrounded by sketches. Not all were of his entire face or body but you knew that he knew exactly whose disembodied hands and eyes and mouth and other randomly positioned angles of body they were.

“Fuck, ok, I can explain,” you began, heart beating a mile a minute. Jaskier turned to look at you but you didn’t see fear or disgust, just a soft look of surprise.

“Y/N?” he said.

He was giving you the chance to explain like you said you would but no words came to mind. You just stared at him blankly, panicking, feeling the walls close in around you.

“I think… I may be able to help,” he said. He walked past you and you waited to hear the front door open and close as he left, possibly to get the guards but most likely just to escape you. But then you heard him walk back, holding the leather notebook he drew in often but never showed you. He opened it to a page and handed the book to you, a nervous, expectant look in his pale, blue eyes. You took it with trembling fingers and at first you weren’t sure why he was showing it. Perhaps he thought that he should offer some exchange of art since he’d seen yours. Maybe he somehow didn’t recognize the man in the pictures as himself. Maybe this could all blow over and be nothing.

And then you saw your name.

“Jaskier what is this?” you asked, flipping the pages and finding more descriptions, not with your name specifically, but of a woman who sounded unmistakably like yourself.

“This is the bardic version of what this room shows, I believe,” he said, his voice soft, “They’re pieces dedicated to someone I have fallen very much in love with over the last few weeks.”

Your wide eyes tore away from the journal to meet Jaskier’s. Now he was the one who looked uncertain and scared, waiting for you to run from him.

“You don’t think it’s weird then?” you asked, gesturing to the room as you placed the journal on a shelf nearby, hands trembling too much to keep a secure hold of it.

“Oh no, it’s very weird. But love makes you do weird things. Like fill a journal full of half-formed songs about someone or stay late to pose for paintings or snoop in rooms you know you shouldn’t because you just can’t resist getting every little bit of them you can,” he replied, moving a bit closer and gently brushing his fingers against your cheek. Though he’d thrown on his doublet again the chemise was still unbuttoned and you rested your hands against his chest, fingers twining in the dark hair.

“Whoever said anything about love?” you teased, “I could just be incredibly enamored or perhaps a very artistic murderer.”

“Well I was speaking for myself mostly,” he answered, “But you’re right. I should be concerned. Shall I call Geralt to defend me against you and your wicked brush?”

“Ooh watch out, Jaskier, don’t sass me! You may find yourself having a brush with death,” you said, emphasizing the pun unnecessarily. Jaskier groaned and shook his head.

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”

You opened your mouth to make some other, terrible joke but he stopped you with a kiss, mouth brushing against yours with the barest touch but you recaptured his lips with yours and felt him card his hand through your hair as yours tightened against his chest. His kisses were soft and tender and nothing like what you’d expected the renowned rogue to offer but then the people who spread those rumors hadn’t known him like you did.

“Come with me,” Jaskier whispered against your lips.

“What?” you breathed back. His eyes found yours and you were struck again by the puzzling color. Was it blue? Or was it grey? Was it even the same thing all the time or did they change on you? You would spend the rest of your life trying to figure it out but oh what a happy quest.

“When you graduate you said you want to travel the world. You’re graduating soon. Come with me when you do. I’ll take you everywhere. I’ll show you the world. I can’t promise to keep you safe, there is always a tradeoff, but I will do everything I can and I promise you it won’t be boring,” he replied, words spoken in a hushed tone like someone offering a fervent prayer. You considered his words, thinking about the risks but more than that, thinking about the things that are worth taking risks for. And the people.

“Ok,” you breathed in response, “Yes. Take me with you. Show me everything.”

“Oh love,” he said, licking his lips which quirked into a wicked grin, “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

#Anonymous #jaskier x reader #jaskier drabbles #jaskier imagines #jaskier fluff #reader request

[papiermachecat]

Here’s a lengthy ramble about the Culture Hustle watercolor set, with lots of pics/comparison swatches...all for you, Culture Hustle anon (but I love doing this kind of thing so thank you!)

I’m going to go in color spectrum order--they’re divided up according to my arbitrary swatch-placing, not necessarily in the order of the palette. First up: yellows!

All of these are very good IMO--very pigmented, and Happy & Sensei are fairly transparent, too--yellows are not typically the most transparent pigments. These more than hold their own next to Mission Gold, Sennelier, Paul Rubens, and Rembrandt (the brands are abbreviated in the color names). Sensei in particular is beautiful and glowy, and if they sold it by the tube I would buy it.

Red-oranges/Reds: almost all of these are fantastic. Artstar has some weird texture thing going on that made me think it might be a cadmium red, but it’s more transparent than cadmium colors usually are. I get really hung up on texture so I’m not a fan of that one, but Vincent, Raygun, 15 Minutes & Crush are all excellent! 15 minutes looks like a cadmium orange/red, but it’s much more transparent (and has a nice even texture). So far so good....but coming up we take a little detour into Not-so-hotville.

Okay so the purples are really, really pretty. HOWEVER. I am highly suspicious that they contain fluroescence, because there is no watercolor pigment I’ve ever seen that creates purples that vibrant. They might be mixes using their Pink color and a blue...anyway that wouldn’t matter much except that fluorescence is not lightfast (fades with exposure to UV light). I’m conducting a little lightfastness test on my windowsill and will report back--if they are lightfast, I’ll be ecstatic! 

Dropout....why. It is incredibly pale--that is the most pigment I could get out of it--which isn’t always a bad thing, but it also has a weird patchy texture reminiscent of the Sakura Koi watercolors (which I loathe). Lapis Lazuli by Daniel Smith is also incredibly pale and a purply-blue (and VERY expensive, made from the genuine stone), so that might be what they were going for--but the genuine Lapis Lazuli has a pretty, soft granulating texture. I don’t own it so I cant compare, I’m just going off swatches I’ve seen. 

Bowie & Pink suffer from the same unpleasant texture, but it at least have some color. I am curious about Pink for the same reasons as those bright purples--if it’s lightfast, it’s a very unique color and would be fun to mix with.

Jealous & Runaway save this bunch--they’re really excellent transparent reds, with strong pigmentation and smooth textures.

I’m almost certain Dive & Always are cobalt blue & ultramarine, respectively--unfortunately, they’re rather lackluster versions of those pigments. Both of those are granulating pigments, which accounts for the texture of the swatches, but some companies make less (or more) granulating versions--White Nights granulate significantly, but they’re also much stronger than the Culture Hustle colors.

Alchemy is a pretty color--a deep green-leaning indigo. Zoltar is likely Prussian Blue (which again throws the lightfast question into play, as Prussian Blue is a fugitive pigment, which makes me sad because it’s beautiful and useful :(). 

King Zulu & 1980 are gorgeous! I have no idea what pigments they are...King Zulu looks like it might be a phthalo blue with white, but it’s vibrant and still mostly transparent, so I’m not sure. 1980 has me totally stumped--it’s so bright, like a cobalt turquoise/teal, but not as green, and perfectly transparent and non-granulating (where cobalt teals are opaque and granulate). I LOVE it, and again, if they sold this by the tube, I’d buy it for sure. 

Envy is a typical convenience yellow-green, but a very nice one. Venom is another convenience green, but not quite as nice as Envy. Emerald City I’m almost certain is just Monster plus white (my little swatch next to it is Mission Gold Bamboo Green/PG36 plus white). Monster looks to be a PG36 (a phthalo green, though the less commonly-used one) with possibly a touch of yellow in it--it’s a nice strong color. Loser is almost a phthalo green/PG7 (the typical phthalo green) but looks to have some blue in it. And Swamp is a nice murky deep green, similar to my beloved Sennelier Forest Green but less blue and more earthy. Grudge is a BEAUTIFUL sap green--I suspect it’s made with PY150/Nickel Azo Yellow, because it has that glowy look to it. The texture is lovely. Another one I would buy separately.

Now we’re into the earth tones. They’re...meh. Why on earth they included only 5 earth tones and chose to make two of them nearly identical yellow ochres I do not understand--and they’re not even particularly nice yellow ochres, as they’re quite opaque and heavy. Akhenaten is a nice enough color--almost definitely a PR101, which can produce a wide range of orange-to-red browns. It’s opaque, but that’s characteristic of this type of color (look at my beloved, beautiful M. Graham Terra Rosa over there in all her opaque glory!). The texture of Akhenaten is not as perfectly velvety as Terra Rosa (nothing is), but it’s still nice.

Last but not least! For a company that makes a pigment called Blackest Black, I was expecting more from a color called Void. It’s actually pretty wimpy, comparable to an Ivory Black. Dirtbag is MUCH more intense, but a little warmer than a true black--Spinel Grey, next to it, is actually the strongest black I own despite the name, and Dirtbag is every bit as dark. Look how the Sharpie line totally disappears. 

Stump is a nice deep brown/burnt umber color. It’s fine. And then.....Butt Nugget :////. Another nice (if unremarkable) brown, lighter and warmer than Stump.

(Also there’s a white but I didn’t photograph it. It’s run-of-the-mill, not super opaque.)

IN SUMMATION: I think this palette has plenty of really nice colors to work with. For ME it’s not as versatile as I would like because of the packaging--the pans aren’t removable, and they don’t sell refills, so if I get attached to any of these colors and use them up, the only way to replace is to rebuy the entire palette (as far as I know--maybe I missed it?). The color selection is odd to me--so many convenience greens?? I would get rid of a few greens and one of those yellow ochres and replace them with either more earth colors (there’s no burnt sienna-type color which is a palette staple) or some more fun mixes--whihc brings me to my next point: I want pigment info!! I believe almost all of these are two-pigment mixes to make the colors a little more unique, but it’s good to know what you’re working with when you’re trying to mix colors. 

All that said, this is a significant step up from the cheaper sets on the market, and has enough great colors in it that it’s worth considering, especially if you aren’t obsessive about collecting and cataloguing colors like I am and you just want to paint like a normal person :).

#art stuff #culture hustle

[elisabeth-carrion]

2020 was... a year. Tbh, 2019 was worse for me. Ive read my 2019 diary and i dont know how i managed, and in the end i was still optimistic. 2020 was supposed to be my year of spoiling myself and doing new things. Of course not everything went according to the plan.... but i managed to do a few things.

Lets see

This year i did two things i thought i would never, ever do. Like even last year, i didnt even consider it. 1. i got a tattoo. The idea came to me at the beginning of the year, the plan was to do it in spring, but then quarantine happened, then renovations, and in the end i had it done in september. Its a flower and i love it.

2. i left academia. last year i got accepted into phd program. It was a mess and in the end, i had enough. Ive stayed a few months longer for the scholarship money, and resigned. I am now academia free and enjoying my very frist study free christmas break. Im vibing

among other thing, there are: 3. i cut my hair. it was waist lenght and i cut it shoulder lenght. I dont know why it was such a huge deal for me, but it was. The hair grew back real fast and i had it cut again in november. I think im gonna keep it this way. Or shorter. I’ll see.

4. had my ears pierced. I had one set of earrings, now i have two. I bought a lot of earrings. I really like it. More jewerly is better jewelry.

5. discovered the band breaking benjamin, very nice

6. discovered the book captive prince. ive read it three times already. would recommend

7. made a candle out of what was left of other candles. easier than i thought, but putting dried flowers into it wasnt a good idea

8. made a hat. and then another hat. im kinda proud of them. didnt get to wear them outside yet tho

9. made a brooch. out of an old notebook cover and christmas decor. its kinda big. i dont mind

10. made a head band. this one needs some improvements tho

11. i thought online classes and im still alive. i prefer real life classes but i managed. i learned about teaching too, i hope i can improve my knowledge next year

12. renovated my kitchen! it was old and disgusting. now its nice and clean and pretty and i love it

13. started french, german and turkish on duolingo somewhere around march. im still doing it every day. kinda like it!

14. tried embroideiry. it was fine. i want to go to embroidery class after the plague is over

15. started taking my own outfit photos. i got a cheap tripod for it and it works! 

16. honesly i didnt count it, but i did some writing. I didnt finish anything, but i wrote significantly more than in the past. I want to finish something  next year

17. started using reusable pens again. sadly the ink doesnt really work on some of my cheap notebooks... it leaks. But i do when i can

18. expanded and cleared my wardrobe. I love every single dress i have. I cant believe i really do have a full wardrobe of pretty dresses! its a dream that came true

19. shaved my eyebrow. they grew back darker. now i have visible eyebrows for the first time in my life

20. got a resuable shaving blade. it looks baddas and i have so many razors they will last me a lifetime

21. met the google car! cant wait to see myself on google street view.

22. i learned kanji like crazy, im over 1700 now. Thats enough for the n2 exam, i will try to take it in december next year

23. renovated my room and rearranged the furniture. It is now the cute pink room i wanted for some time. I got a cute carpet and a vanity table. I feel like a princess and for the first time i feel that all my belongings are in order

24. started studying and doing tarot. i got cards for birthday and got really into it

25. assembled a diy tiny doll room. It was fun! its like puzzles but 3d. Its not perfect but i really enjoyed it

26. seen Laura Makabresku exhibition in Sosnowiec. It was nice.

27. Seen tour de pologne race. kinda randomly, i didnt plan to, but it was nice

28. went to a watercolor class. i really enjoyed it!

29. survived the plague so far 

30. started counting calories again. in the past i did it to control, to restrict, and to punish. Now i just want to know

Ive tried new things. I wrote down every single one of them, even the tiniest: 1. kurtosz in both sweet and sour verson

2. Kitkat in the following tastes: melon, peanut butter, salt caramel, gold caramel, strwaberry, salty lemon

3. okonomiyaki

4. carrot kissiel

5. smoking . yes im doings some back to the teenage years things. it tasted like ashes. i still have some left i dont know what i will do with them

6. spring rolls /sajgonki

7. chinese take out fried pasta

8. dandelion and burdock tea

9. mushroom bun - a polish street food with pieczarrki

10. pancakes with juice instead of milk. kind of accidently but it is a thing

11. boiled corn

12. lavender lemonade

13. vegan subway

14. salty licorice

15. vegan sandwich from żabka

16. oyakata soy ramen

17. halvah wafffles

18. gingerbread twix

19. shampoo in a bar... like soap but its shampoo. very nice

20. tofubar

21. bora bora black tea that tastes like roses

22. chocolate coated ginger

23. flavored coffe: five flavour mix, marzepan, raspberry meringue

24. Visited a few new coffe shops and restaurants [sowa, we coffee, mont blanc, zicherka, pod prosiakiem, kaffka, zielona krowa, proper coffee, suzette, starbucks, coffee faza, pigal] and places [zamek sielecki, this one park that has no name but has rainbow lights]. It may seem insignificat but for me its a big deal to visit a new place even if its just a coffee shop.... and its stressful. so yes im proud of that

i must say that i changed. im not the same person anymore. ive grown, ive learned my wants and needs, i started giving myself what i want and what i need, and maybe even more importantly, ive stopped punishing myself. No more of that. I deserve everything and im gonna get it :)

#i hope the list next year is going to be longer!!!!! #with bigger dreams accomplished!!!! #elisabeth no hitokoto

[supervillanelle]

I WANT U TO ANSWER QUESTIONS 14 THROUGH 50 FOR THAT ASK THING, OR IF THATS TOO INSANE A NUMBER JUST PICK SOME RANDOM ONES, IDK BUT I LIKE READING YOUR ANSWERS SO IF U DID ALL OF THEM I'D THINK THAT WAS GREAT anyway idk why im yelling now get 2 work

ALLISON WTF?????????????????? THATS 37 QUESTIONS IM LAUGHING SO FICKING HARD FGKSHSDUDUFUDUFIFKGIGIFIFUCUAGSGDHFJFIFJDJSJSUSJIVJCIHXHOXHCHXIGXYSYYDJFLKFDKFAKFAKGZZG IM GONNA DO IT HANG ON

(It was supposed to be 37 questions but i skipped the ones i had already answered, okay?)

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

Not at all 😩 i have no talents, babe

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a leo, and i dont believe in astrology, but sometimes i can relate to my sign

19. Favorite old film?

Old films are really not my thing BUT i really like scary movie 1 and 2, and the exorcist (those were the only old movies i could think of im sorry shakshskshsj)

20. What’s your hairstyle?

ugh okay its curly and brown and very short and it needs to be stopped

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

I really like when its sunny with clear skies but like, its not awfully hot, its just, nice

22. What upsets you most about the world?

Lots of things upset me, but two things upset me the most: how much prejudice there is, and how unfair the world is!!!

Like, sexism, homophobia, racism, thats so fucked up and some people actually agree with it??? lik what the fuck? how can you hate someone just for being different than you? and sexism is just so bad bc we’re so used to it that we accept all kinds of stuff bc its just normalized to us, you know? We accept men acting like shit and we agree with them and support their behaviour bc we learn that way, that men can be shitty and they dont have to try to be better people, but we’re so quick to judge women for literally anything they do, and it just keeps being normal to us!! we need to fucking change the way we act!!!

And with how unfair the world is, like, some people have so much while some have so little! its so fucked up!!!! and believe me, i know its not my place to say this bc im fucking privileged but its just so fucked up!!!!!! people like me who were born in a family with money just go through life so easily, we dont know shit anything and we still have the nerve to think we’re bettee than others, its so fucked up!!! And there are people who were born with no money, with no decent family, and just bc of that its allowed for them to live like shit? to not have any kind of support in life? if they need food, housing, medical care, they just have to deal with it and be strong and get through it, or start working as a fucking child?????? its just so fucked up but its never gonna change bc the people who really have money just dont wanna give up a tiny bit of their huge privilege to make it fair for everyone else, and everyone just have to be ok with all that???

23. Are you in love right now?

God no

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

I have a lot of crushes GSKSBSKSBSKSBSK i have online crushes, i have real life crushes, i have crushes that mean nothing to me and i just like them so im not bored shakshjs BUT theres this girl, shes kinda bi? (that what she says), shes my friends sister and fuck i just wanna make out with her for 3 days nonstop, shes just so fucking pretty, and funny and hot and nice and smart and fuckkkkkkk im lonely

26. Do you have a lucky number?

Not lucky numbers but like, just numbers that i like, 5, 7, 12 and 15

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

On a fallen eyelash yes but its not something i do all the time lol

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

What the fuck are emoji spells?

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

Dude shakshskssh no!!!!!

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

I dont know dude, i think freedom is pretty beautiful to me, having the freedom to do what you want, loving who you want, being loved, being happy with yourself without any pressure idk if that makes sense

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

I love both!!!!!!! Literally my thing

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

I love saxophone and violin!!

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

Wind not so much, its kinda scary tbh, but the sound of rain is just great!!!

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

Ok so i have like, two different thoughts, i either live in a small apartment, in a big city, im not good with living with other people but i hope this changes, so eithwr alone or with a roomate is fine by me, with a cat and/or a dog, and im happy with my life! Or, if i end up being super rich, i live in a big house, again by muself ot with roomates is fine, and i have way more than just a dog and/or a cat, and a big pool, and im happy with my life (tbh just picture jenna marbles’ life and its that!!

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

only when i go to some party or bar and i wanna make out with someone, otherwise i never use it, and i dont even have make up, i use my sister’s or my mom’s

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

I do!!! I cant really explain but like, its above the knee, no sleeves but like a thin strap? and its dark blue with little green zebras all over it

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

Romantically or in a friendship? Yes for both. I just stay sad forever, but it just gets less shitty with time

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

In real life its this girl from college but rn shes actually mad at me so idk if shes still close to me lol but shes so nice and funny

41. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert that becomes too much and bery annoying after you get to know

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

I have NO IDEA what mbti is

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel?

I think id be a vampire

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

ive been thinking about this for a while now and i cant remember the last time someone showed me a song

45. Parlez-vous français?

No (thats no in french btw)

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

London and nyc are fucking amazing

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

When im home alone in silence ugh amazing

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is goreous!

Not really? Im good but thanks?

49. Favorite shoe you own?

All my flipflops, my converse and thats it

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

I can and i actually love wearing heels i think my legs look great on them

[critterpdf]

What kind of things do you use for your traditional art? Like supplies n stuff gjfk

hey bud! I hope u are ready for a big ol’ tangent dssfvjdf

TOOLS

So like for sketches (which y’all rarely see) I just use a graphgear 500 .3 mm lead! I also have 2 different eraser sticks? eraser pencils? what are they even called sbfhsd

EDIT:  The blue eraser is the Staedtler Stick Eraser and the green one is the Tombow MONO Knock 3.8

my brush pens.... my inkers... these two pens are my babies that i love and will die for. the grey one (which is what i used for the pinecone pic) is the Pentel Aquash light black (its grey. its grey pentel you can just say grey). It’s just so fckin PRETTY and gives such good textures!! the black pen is the “Pentel Pigment Ink Brush Pen - Extra Fine“ if you ever just wanna look for it on amazon lol. I got my first one of these like. in 2014? 2015? and i love them so much for the good variation in line thickness. Super thick to super thin without even having 2 change pens! Plus, if you have a shaky hand, this pen is pretty forgiving - you cant really see mistakes as easy. 

these! are what i use for lil’ deets in white or when i wanna fill a space! The gel pens (gellyroll) are pretty good for like, adding chatter or patterns, but the posca pens are better for when i need a more opaque option. I’ll give a little more detail on that in a bit!

And these!!! you guys also dont see too much color in my traditional artwork, but these are my pens - Faber-castell pitt artist brush pen..... as u can tell i just really love brush pens. They don’t have the same sort of brush tip as the ink pens, but they are defs still brush-like in nature and i love them

honorable pen mention: the pebeo masking fluid marker. i’ve been doing my art in a very Weird way as of late which like. doesn’t work well w the drawing gum but!!! i really love using it when i actually use the correct kinds of paper that can, u kno, stand up to being rubbed!! which like, is how u remove this stuff

TECHNIQUE??

recently ive just been doing art funky, like, just ink straight onto cheap tracing paper. like, yea, the paper curls really bad which sucks but also you get such a nice texture from it!!!

The other fun thing abt tracing paper is layering! What I do is I will line the image on one side of the tracing paper, and then color the reverse image on the back. Once all the ink has dried, I take my pc-5m white posca pen and just cover up the back!! that way i can have areas where the color still pops, while other areas are transparent. What also works really nicely is like. it helps w tonal stuff too? like in the pinecone pic I went ahead and used my light black (its just grey oh my god) pen on both sides of the paper, and that’s why marina’s tentacles are darker than her skin despite using one pen.

When I am being a “””””Good, Proper Artist””””” (no such thing, moving on), I like to use strathmore sketchbooks (usually the recycled paper bc its a little more off-white), and I just recently found the strathmore mixed media visual journal which is nice for like, ink and stuff.

There’s some other stuff I don’t use too often - actually bottles of ink w actual brushes, watercolors, etc - but these are my mains. 

tl;dr i main a brush in both splatoon and irl

#dsfhbjsdb im sorry if this was too much i just love talking abt art supplies #my art #putting that in the tag just like #why not #ask #long post // #4thagent

[lestatdesade]

I've been trying not to take adderall bc its been fucking up my skin big time but when I take it I feel so. much. better. It doesnt entirely remove the fatigue but it does mitigate the brain fog and lets me avctually think about things. Also yesterday I was like "wow i've been so unproductive" but actually I plowed through my entire list minus a couple drawings that I cant do bc I ran out of decent paper to draw on. Like I work 5 days on, then 5 days off, but the museam is closed on certain days that are low traffic or have privately done tours. So its a bit weird. But yeah yrsterday I scanned ALMOST ALL THE FILM IVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING ON, I just have one more roll to scan left!!! Then I can justify sending out some more rolls that I have to be developed. Oh, and I got a 45 year old sx70 camera from a flea market thats in super good condition and the 2 pics I took look great but I havent had the chance to take it somewhere nice to use it. It kind of needs full daylight to work and it's been raining or too hot for me to go outside at all. It's such a nicely built camera. I said that I wouldnt get one bc it requires different film than my other polaroid cameras but it's really nice, heavy leather and metal build. and it folds up to be super compact??? It's so, so nice and I'm forever salty that modern tech devices just don't have thje same quality. Everything these days is built to be shitty and have no life. This camera is older than me, and tbh, it'll probably outlive me and still function well. but with the huge advances that we've made technologically, none of my current electronics will ever hope to outlive my 70s camera. I don't think its a lack of ability for companies to construct quality goods, bc manufactuering in a digital age of laser tech thats very uniform and not human made is easier, but they PURPOSEFULLY skimp on quality to sell more. to me, thats just the fuckin epitome of stupid. Like hey, we have such incredible technological knowledge, but lets fuckin ignore it so we can make more money from having phones and computers that are pretty much disposable in usage bc they have such a short lifespan. idk it just bothers me, but as a lead on, I've been working super hard on learning new art skills. I've been working a great deal w/ watercolors and I am dabbling in using UV resin. when i visisted my grandma for her birthday, I asked if I could pick one of her beloved pansy flowers. So I picked it, pressed it and encased it in resin to make a pendant. I think she's really going to love it. She makes great pressed flower art, so i fee like its a collab between us, though I don't have nearly as much experience. She gave me a pressed flower arrangement she did and framed it for me for christmas and everytime i see it I m just filled with this kind of overwhelming happiness that she made it for me. I always feel very bleak about my life expectancy since my dad died before he hit 50, and my mother is in her midsixties and I doubt if she'll make it to 70. But my grandma is like, in her 90s and walks without assistance, climbs stairs, routinely spends time with friends, and is probably more mentally sharp than I am. So I'm hoping my parents bS will skip a generation and I'll get my grandmas health. I'm not really afraid to die, but I think looking at how my parents lack of longevity doesnt really make me feel positive about the fact that I'm inching closer and closer to 30 and that I'm sure that all the psychiatric meds I've taken, and all this stress and fatigue have greatly shortened my life span. But I'm trying to keep positive and realize that much of my goals in life that have been long term were made out of internalizing toxic ideas and psychological manipulation and gaslighting. I know that deep down, most of the ideas that I have formed around even the most basic concepts of life, death and selfqworth are tainted by the abuse I went through as a kid. But I'm reearning a lot of it and really thinking about things in a way that is detached from my own experiences, and trying to reposition my perspectives. I think the idea that anyone can unlearn the hatred they are taught and that even some really "defined:" beliefs we have are more or less conditioning has really hanged the way I feel about myself. I'm less concerned about my own mortality, my legacy, and the thoughts of others. I just want to enjoy this experience of being alive, and anything more was really a lie and a delusion that I was tricked into thinking. I used to belive that if I didn't EXCEED EXPECTATIONS and make a mastery of myself then that would prove my abusers right, and confirm the idea that I am worthless as truth. But I have learned that basing peoples worth off of their success is stupid, and I can't change the illness that has destroyed all my hopes and dreams. And also that well, I don't NEED to have these crazy, unattainable goals and pipedreams to make myself feel like I deserve to live. I deserve to live, exactly as I am, even if I am a nuerotic loser who lives with my mom despite being nearly 30 and having a job. I domt have to be some fucking legend to show people that I didn't need to kill myself. I never should have felt as though that was an obligation to begin with. I exist because I do, and I don't hurt others or act recklessly in a way that endangers other people. I don't hoard resources so that others cant use them. I'm just a nuetral being, thats akll

[hexalene]

So I just read one of your flower shop posts (the one about aloe vera girl, mason jar masterpiece bouquet dad, and the orchid lady) and it's the kind of aww I need in my life. Could you share some more?

٩(◦`꒳´◦)۶ Can do!So we (me + boss) call this girl “The Artist”

She appeared in our shop maybe…two/three-ish?? years ago.She’s pretty young, maybe now 16 or 17. Her mom appears to work in the hospital down the street, so we think she comes here to wait out MamaArtist’s shift. She’s a small, shy type, with long brown hair and a bright yellow cardigan that she kinda tries to hide in. She has a sort of “routine” when she shows up. She’ll show up in the far end of the store, peek around the orchids, and if you don’t glance over at her, come to stare longingly at the roses. She’ll then realize there are people around and scatter to the café tables. After building a fort of books, she will carefully sneak a sketchbook out and start drawing. Few hours later, MamaArtist shows up and they leave. SO one day, she’s staring at the roses, and I happen to have one that breaks off and is too short to sell, so I smile and hand it to her. “Take it, it’s free.”She just STARES at me, and points at it and says, “Free?”I nod, “Yup!” and she’s SO HAPPY!! She starts talking to me really fast, and I realize why she’s so quiet– She doesn’t speak a lot of English!And….ugh….now I’m embarrassed to admit this, but while I recognize that what she’s speaking is Spanish, I can’t speak Spanish beyond like… drunk kindergartener. In present tense. On alternate tuesdays with mild improvements if I’ve been attempting to read the Spanish sides of the warning labels on chemical bottles. She realizes quickly that I am a deer-in-the-headlights and starts to run off, but I manage to scrape together enough itty-bitty BROKEN ASS Spanish to make her laugh and diffuse things, kinda. I get from her that she loves roses, but they’re too expensive for her art. (btw my boss is behind her with the waterboy, ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that she’s talking to me, because The Mystery Of The Yellow Cardigan Customer is one that has haunted us for a few months now.)ANYWAY, I love art, so I try to ask about her art, but, : ( She can’t find the words for it, and I can’t understand her explanation in Spanish, and IT WAS TOTALLY NOT HER FAULT but she got embarrassed and thanked me profusely for the flower and broke the sound barrier to escape. Boss swoops in for the down low, and….I haven’t really detailed the conversation I had with this girl here, because it is LONG and kiiiiiinda embarrassing and I tried to type it out but i fell like it came off waaaay too one-sided in my favor because I couldn’t accurately recall the Spanish she was speaking. I just felt like it wasn’t fair, you know? She was shy, but when speaking about her art, her voice was confident and she clearly knew what she was talking about, so yeah. I’m also speaking with some hindsight right now, because I know where this goes, and what she must have been trying to say, but at the time I was beyond confused and embarrassed. Boss hears me out and then sort of hums. She grabs one of the bouquets I’ve set aside for an arrangement and snaps off two of the buds. Then she marches over to the girl’s table and sits down across from her. She probably gave the girl the roses, and used the power of being a sweet, gentle older lady to coax out the girl’s story, but there’s a wall in between us and the café and I didn’t want the girl to feel….more….cornered, ha ha. So I kept doing my job.GUYS. I may have hinted at it with “The Artist” but this teenage girl is AN ARTIST.Boss comes back, this time armed with photos and GUYS. This girl is using the petals of flowers to VERY DELICATELY create watercolor and petal collages of high fashion dress concepts! I’m not going to post the photos, and i hope it’s obvious why, but THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL and WAYYY beyond what you’d expect from a high schooler. (Okay, so I paused and tried to google for something similar, and I can’t really find anything, but google “petal dress watercolor” and look at the fourth result which is like…a simple outline of a woman with a dress made of rose petals and its KINDA similar? But this girl is making pieces way more detailed and large scale and conceptual. The watercolor she’s painting is also more realistic.) So The Artist has been using flowers she cant find, or cheaper ones she can afford. One of the paintings (probably about a 9x12) is clearly crafted out of GOD KNOWS HOW MANY little yellow DANDELION petals, and seems to be of Belle from Beauty and the Beast? Another one is a flow-y dancer in Portulaca petals she has totally been snagging from our store displays and tbh ROCK ON girl. I could go on and on, but THIS is what she’s been up to in our café behind those books!!!! ART.I’m kinda stunned, because DAMN, she’s like 15 (at the time this happened) and I wish I’d had that skill at 15 holy shit. Boss flips through the photos, and shows me the sketch this girl has JUST STARTED for the rose petals I gave her, and its a series of tiny little ballerinas and AAAHHH GUYS SHE’S SO GOOD.  Swear to god the second I discover her online I’m promoting the shit out of her.So here we are, ooooohhing and aaaaahhhing over these photos when Boss gets this super serious look on her face. She stares at me, grabs one of the BRAND NEW rose bouquets– a really big, really pretty set of fire roses (uh, yellow roses that fade into orange and then red at the tips) then looks around the store for our managers and shrugs.She proceeds to slam the guillotine down just underneath the heads with the most deadass “oops” I have ever heard. She grabs one of our paper bags, and we quickly shove all of the rose heads into the bag. She runs off.I peek around the corner just in time to see Boss hand the bag over like a sack of cocaine, shoving them behind the girl’s books, patting her on the shoulder, and running off. I’m laughing really quietly but really hard, because The Artist looks SO CONFUSED and baffled. Boss is giggling and grinning, and we don’t even try to hide when The Artist opens the bag and sees what’s inside. guys, I felt super bad for a second because she started to cry. Like, actually cry. She rushes over and tries to give it back, but we just insisted it was hers. My Boss’ only price? She had to come and show us the finished pieces. Which she did. And has, since we’ve been sneaking her bags of broken flowers to play with while her mom works. We’ve seen her less as she’s gotten older, but she texts Boss pictures every once in a while of her art, and I HOPE TO GOD she’s entering contests because she has some serious talent.

#anecdotes #florist stories #her mom has come and spoken to us btw to make sure we arent creeps #seducing her daughter with flowers #she speaks more english but they immigrated over super recently and are still learning

[maousami]

73 Questions Challenge Inspired by Vogue

So I just finished reading Vogue’s 73 Questions with Kim K and my delusional ass wants to do this shit too.

I got this from   Nataliia Totka ’s blog and said sure why tf not lols

here we go

1. What are you most excited about these days?

I guess spending time together with my favorite human in the world 

2. What’s your favorite holiday?

CHRISTMAS <3

3. Favorite season?

The Philippines doesn’t really have that many seasons (rainy and summer only lols) so maybe the Rainy Season?

4. Where does one go on a perfect road trip?

ANYWHERE WITH A BEACH <3 I fucking love beaches

5. What is the best activity when home on a rainy day?

Sleeping or Cuddling <3 sharing a movie with my S.O. <3

6. If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

maybe my teacher Sir Steve. finally get him the girl he’s been crushing on since he was still studying architecture.

 7. What is the best thing that happened this year?

THIS FUCKING GUY 

8. What’s your New Year’s resolution?

Finish my thesis. lols <3 I am fucking done ahahhaha

9. What’s your favorite exercise?

ANYTHING LEG DAY RELATED <3

10. Best way to decompress?

Painting and just spending the day with my big doofus of a boyfriend.

11. What’s your favorite country to visit?

KOREA. 10/10. might change when I finally get to visit Japan though!

12. Last country you visited?

Korea hahahaha

13. Country you wish to visit?

JAPAN OFC. Also Israel ^^

14. What’s your favorite ice-cream?

DOUBLE DUTCH.

15. What makes you smile the most?

Being praised for something I don’t notice in myself

16. What’s the coolest thing in the world?

hmm... Vivid cosmic dreams.

 17. What is the cutest thing in the world?

FOXES def foxes.

18. How do you know if you’re in love?

I guess it differs by person to person. Me personally, I know when I constantly have this need to spoil that person and help them in anyway I can through heart to heart talks or maybe a school project. I don’t usually go out of my way for happy crushes but you know shit’s serious when I’ve tried to replace them with another one, only to fail and drag my ass back to them. I am such a hoe hahahha

19. If you could go to any concert past or present, what would it be?

I have been dreaming of attending a Hatsune Miku concert ever since I was a first year in highschool. I need to go to one before I die.

20. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

I’m not the kind of person who’s the type to recieve. I’m more of a gift-giver so maybe the gift of people I guess?

21. Favorite fashion trend of all time?

The lazy Japanese unisex type. or maybe the tumblr girl who wears yellow dresses trend?

22. What’s your favorite movie of all time?

This is fucking hard. Clueless

23. What was the movie that made you cry?

OMFG CHEESY THING TO SAY BUT HACHIKO MY GOD

24. If you could make a documentary, what would it be about?

The mysterious life of Mao Usami

25. If you could have one superpower what would it be?

Being able to manipulate people under my will

26. What is the skill still unmastered?

Architectural manual drawing

27. What is the best thing that happened to you today?

Being able to wake up to this

28. Do you like surprises?

Yes uwu it makes me feel special hehe

29. If you could do a flash mob where would it be?

At SM department store hahahahhah might be funny

30. Do you like cupcakes?

sometimes ^^ muffins tho? mmmmm

31. Do you usually bake cupcakes?

I used to bake ALOT back in highschool. I was the kween of baked goods.

32. What’s your favorite desert?

Any Icecream cake. <3 would kill for a slice rn

33. Is there a desert you don’t like?

Anything with Peanut butter and Caramel. ew

34. What’s your favorite bakery?

Sofia’s atm

35. What’s your favorite food?

Anything pasta and OFC CHORIZO AAAAA <3

36. It’s brunch, what do you eat?

Pancakes, maybe a banana or maybe Tapa with warm white rice. mmmmm~

37. You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

CHOfuckingRIZO cant stress this enough

38. Favorite color?

YELLOW and baby pink<3

39. Favorite superhero?

not really a superhero but, Deadpool hahahhaha

40. What do you usually order in Starbucks? (or in your favorite café)

A Venti Iced Mocha without the whipped cream. also an Expresso Frappuchino is nice on a fucking hot day too. Iced Hazelnut Vanilla from Little Farmers is my go-to everyday coffee shot

41. Who is the last person you texted?

42. What’s your favorite activity to do in your hometown?

Having a great run around the neighborhood. Funruns are fun

43. What’s the next book you plan on reading?

I don’t have a new book in mind. maybe another YA novel?

44. What do you love in your pizza?

CARAMELIZED ONIONS AAAAAA and chorizo bits

45. Favorite drink?

Iced Hazelnut Vanilla by Little Farmers Coffee Brim

46. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Milk Chocolate ^^

47. What’s your favorite band?

kind of Mainstream but IV of Spades <3

48. Favorite solo artist?

DANIEL CAESAR 

49. Favorite lyrics?

Talk to me - Cavetown

50. If your life was a song what would the title be?

51. If you could master one instrument what would it be?

The Piano. real basic but I get really emotional with a few piano pieces. I’d like to play one of them someday

52. If you had a tattoo where would it be?

On my left forearm ^^

53. To be or not to be?

To be. hahahaahah

54. Dolphins or koalas?

Dolphins. definitely

55. How do you like your coffee?

White and Creamy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

56. What’s your favorite curse word?

HOLY SHIT and PUTA

57. What color of dress did you wear to prom?

My school didn’t have a prom, but I did get to attend one with my cousin’s friend. It was pink ^^

58. Diamonds or pearls?

Pearls. they look classy and very Filipino

59. Cheap shampoo or expensive?

Expensive. I have frizzy thick hair. I don’t get too cheap with shampoo.

60. Blow dry or air dry?

Blow dry. hahahha blow

61. Heels or flats?

Heels. I look sexier ;)

62. Pilates or yoga?

Pilates every time baby

63. Jogging or swimming?

Swimming

64. One thing you can’t live without?

My sunglasses. 

65. What’s one cause that’s dear to your heart?

helping street animals

66. Who would you want to shoot a love scene with?

ADAM DRIVER AAAAA 

67. What’s your favorite sport?

I don’t do any sports but I usually love watching Figure Skating competitions and will def force my child into the sport. im sorry future kid!

68. Do you have a morning beauty ritual?

NOPE HAHAHA I AM SUCH A SLOB

69. What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I have this short mini dress I love to wear in bed <3 so comfyyy

70. What’s the priciest thing you’ve ever splurged on?

JFC MY WINDSOR AND NEWTON WATERCOLOR PANS

71. Do you play any musical instruments?

lol nope

72. What is your favorite book of all time?

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah. Reread it a million times.

73. What is something you always travel with?

My Year Planner. ^^