#i mean i cant afford it anyway

[mspainttaz]

official rip to my drawing tablet, goodbye my old friend you never really worked in the first place but illl miss u anyway lol

#i mean its almost a decade old and the port has been loose/partially unresponsive for half of that so i knew this day would come #i didnt have the drive to draw anyway but now i REALLY cant tell myself im gonna post stuff jlksdjflka #maybe if i go back and clip old wips idk #sad day but what can you do! ill try to look on reddit for hacks but its probably past that #m #edit yeah the repairs arent worth the cost since they would be the same/more than the price of a new one which i already cannae afford oop

[vixenicks]

sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment

#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation #i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier #also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks #eventually #also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size #i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die #its funny to me because like #yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era #consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era) #youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships #bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!” #it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me #theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents #people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials #bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber #there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession #but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism #hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis #i have lots of thoughts idk #anyways backtracked #i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink #but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now #nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!! #skyler posting

[bunnihearted]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[pbnmj]

#mcu spider-man currently being the most widely known spider-man is my very own plague #(pete's spidey btw) #i wish he were more mean. so bad. like i wish he had more of a characterisation other than like his biggest flaw being naivete .. #speaking as a person who barely reads comics because east asia spits on western comics LOL it was just impossible to afford #and now unable to purchase like anywhere i cant find em #what if i am a spider-man generalist who enjoys shoving different iterations of peter together #to create the ultimate bastard man roaming new york streets at any given time!!!!!! PLEASE #anyways noir does not have a conscience. only aunt may quotes in his head #the doodle tax for a wall of tags #my art

[satans-knitwear]

Redecorating occured so i felt compelled to do a look complimenting the new wallpaper.

Treat me ~ Tip me

#Are we ready for next week??? Or are we in denial that its even happening?? #My family are going to berlin without me bc i cant afford it and they need a dogsitter anyway. So you guys should be extra nice to me. #Does mean i should get some alone time to get creative with ✨👀 but also means i am not in berlin. So that kinda sucks #Help me sort my groceries out?? Treat me (amazon wishlist) ~ Tip (pypl) me (cshpp) #Satans knitwear #Alt pinup #Lingerie reveal #Pinup girl #Fluffy jumper and lingerie 😍 #Body chain #Pretty lingerie #Lace lingerie bodysuit #Green lace lingerie #bi girl #uk girl #cheeky #wlw

[yonpote]

ok i literally only did two prompts but thats it for now i will get to the ones in my inbox tomorrow ✌️✌️

#chronic pain rlly be like this tho #i hate feeling like i have to justify taking breaks like. its due to impostor syndrome honestly. #same w putting watermarks or dont repost disclaimers on my art #i didnt do it for a long time cuz i was like eh its not good enough for that #but like it doesnt matter if its good or not its still like... my art and i should safeguard it #what was i talking about again OH YEAH chronic pain #i felt kinda shitty for not being able to draw as much cuz my art feels more simple than rendered stuff #that ppl could churn out in a day #but like. im litrally physically disabled bro and also it doesnt matter how 'simple' i draw its still stress on my body #idk one person was mean to me and it made me sensitive lmao #anyway.... ill draw whats left in my inbox and then afterwards i'll be back to doing requests thru kofi #i did raise the price of my doodles but it is because of my arm pain im sorry if u think my doodles are worth less #but i am willing to negotiate if u genuinely cant afford it depending on complexity

[dennistakesamentalhealthday]

FORGOT TO UPDATE MY SUNNY BLOG I USE AS A PERSONAL DIARY i got my next appointment in my journey to getting HRT/glormone replacement therapy 😊😊😊😊😊 but its in 3 weeks 😊😊😊😊😊 i will definitely not rip my hair out waiting

#it kinda helps because im not out to my dad yet LOL #so i cant really be starting tesosterone whilst i live here #i mean i think he'll be fine but at least one of my brothers who also live here will not be soooo #also i cant afford it rn #anyways! #going to find out my next step in my transition around the time i find out if i got a scholarship i definitely am not getting #that will be a fun time

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday. #but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its. #its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change. #whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

[skunkg1rll]

🦨

#ughhh someone pointed out the atrocity in my face. i hate thatfeature of me so bad #and now i cant stop thinking about it and i hate myself and my face and i got bad feelings #because throughout my entire life i've been so bullied for it #i feel so ugly ugh!!!!!! i am ugly i wanna cry who could ever love me when i look like this skksksks #the worst abt having a face deformity is that it is on your FACE!!!!! i cant hide it #it's out there for everyone to see #and i cant remove it. i can get plastic surgery etc but i cant afford that at all now. maybe when i have a job :((( #and it really is so big in my brain. i notice it constantly #i cant look at other ppl without checking their chins to see if it's smooth or not #and most ppl have normal chins. pretty much everyone has a normal chin!!!! #i wish i was normal too. i hate looking like this i hate it so bad #it is so unfair that i gotta be stuck w this ugly fkn feature but everyone else gets to look normal #so unfair so unfair it makes me so angry #why did i get the worst genes ever i cant stand having to live my life being this grotesquely ugly #anyway.... i try to suppress it nd not think abt it but earlier today someone made a comment abt it #nd now i just wnna cry because it is soooooooo ugly and i hate it #besides yeah it made me rmbr my school years bc ppl were sofkn mean to me abt it #like im sorry i know im ugly wtf do u want me to do?!?!

[lemonsandmorelemons]

Also. While I'm posting personal stuff. I've pretty much entirely quit vaping. yeah I switched to nic pouches instead but after two years that shit it's so nice and a small victory

#the catalyst was when really when i was out in the field with my professor/mentor/one of my favorite people #and she was like “is that a juul?” and i was just. so embarrassed. vaping feels so embarrasing especially since im almost 30 lmfao #ive been meaning to quit for a while and my boyfriend started using zyns and similar products and i was like okay fine. maybe ill try them #and theyre SO MUCH BETTER and its still nicotine but the cancer chances are so much lower #plus its more discreet and therefore less embarrassing #its all about harm reduction babey #now when people pick up zyns when they dont already use nic because theyre a mental stimulant.... thats bad. please dont its so addictive #i never shojld have started nicotine but im working on reducing the mg content and one day itll be off my back #its also so much nuch harder to quit when i have so much going on with school and work and i cant afford to be pissy and withdrawing ugh #anyways time to go write my neandertal paper

[maedaeme]

brother moved in with me due to an Abrupt Life Change, brought 2 old cats, which I understand is going to take adjusting but I am SO stressed because it is my cat that is being the problem

#Its been. almost 2 weeks #and theyre still stuck in his room when shes not sleeping in mine because even when they are separated by a gate she just #cant handle it #she stopped hissing finally but she JUMPED the gate out of nowhere and started stalking it was Scary #i love her but she has got me all out of sorts man #peach was literally just like. hi new cats. Im in this house. oh ur nervous. thats cool im just sitting #like he was so chill. not a problem at all. this is the cat they told us was too mean to be inside when we first got him #and who is now just a giant snuggle baby #but MY CAT #cant rly afford feliway but im gonna buy some next week anyway #lays on the FLOOR #i love her i dont want her to bully the grandmas!!!!! #granted she has only visually seen them like TWICE bc we are keeping them separated but #thats bc both times she reacted BADLY #pointless post

[cliveguy]

thought the skyrim fever had finally broken after it almost killed me last week but today i got home and just ate a giant round bread with a slab of cheese so maybe i died and went to gamer hell

#they were about to throw it out from the tesco bakery ok i had to rescue it... #i know i have mentioned skyrim far too much than any person with good taste should this past week but you dont know how bad it really is #im playing with like 50 mods and the other day i was playing in my boxers like the unemployed guy in my 20s i am and i BURNT my leg #and i mean a BURN its going to scar #i know thats a fire hazard. i cant afford a new laptop i just turn it off and unplug it whenever i leave the room #anyway

[palentonga]

im just fucked completely theres no hope at all

#i deserve no clemency i dont deserve to move past my failings #the only times ive been close to happy are when ive been naive and ignorant #and the times ive been miserable are when im much more insightful and incisive of myself #theres nothing to love about myself #maybe if i had the means to move forward with my life but i dont #i have to live here in the middle of nowhere and help take care of my mom #shes told me multiple times shed be dead if i wasnt with her #and shes right #i cant leave #cant explore life #my youth is over #my college years are spent #what would have been my college years anyway #nothing left to do but get gender nullification surgery when i can afford it sometime after my mom passes #and just live life alone #never gonna feel a girl run her fingers through my hair #never gonna hear a woman say that im her girl #no point #no life #none of this means anything #the mao sugiyama to budd dwyer pipeline #and i dont deserve it. i dont understand being a woman #and i never will #misogyny is so cooked into the fiber of my being that to undo it would be to undo myself #ig that means that since i have an obligation to undo misogyny #i also have an obligation to commit suicide down the line #not for a while. not while my moms alive #and maybe i dont deserve to get off that easy #and should just rot in dickless misery for the rest of my life

[rigels-nigels]

Girl help I've acquired possibly yet another expensive hobby

#op #2 of them in fact #currently making a frame weaving loom (and by that i mean my dad idk enough about wood working and this wood is too expensive to fuck up) #and getting into mechanical keyboards #i already have a lotta yarn so the real costs rn are the keyboards #which are like at least 100usd a pop #what sucks is that they all seem to be 60% keyboards or tkl's and like. i need my fn and number pad keys pls and thx #debated sacrificing the num pad and getting a seperate one bc wowza these custom boards are absolutely gorgeous but #i am on such a budget and a cheap (cheap!!!) keyboard i found that i quite like is still gonna run me 200cad #if i got a pretty keeb and a seperate numpad i could easily be looking at $500+ like lordy #that's not even counting the switches i want to get (gateron baby kangs which are. $66. I'm assuming in usd bc it doesn't actually say) #anyway debating on whether or not i should order the keyboard now or wait till later cuz like is it even gonna be there later? #so much of this stuff is temporary and u never know #its a 96% keyboard and it has a calculator button!! only other board ive seen with that is my dads maybe 2005 wireless microsoft #so useful tbh #such a pretty board too all things considered #and finding a nice board like that with the numpad is not easy lemme tell ya like i was truly considering a ducky which. #i cant say im quite fond of their logo among other things #i think its more of a cream than white but u cant win em all #hmm to purchase now or to not purchase now‚ that is the question.... i could technically afford it but then #there's ComicCon + cost of supplies and whatnot for opening up my shop which is gonna be probably at least a hundred... #and then i would like to get some nice wool skirts for the winter/now bc pants are of the devil which is gonna be another 100/150 or so... #augh #i think the government should give me more money i think that would be very sexy of them to do #anyway can you believe i went on my phone to find a banana bread recipe then did all this instead? crazy #hashtag adhd life

[michaelenthusiast]

MICHAEL IN THE STYLE OF CHEYE SKUNKES CHIBIS

check out his art ♥️ @skunkes

#cheye. firstly i want to apologize. i wanted michael in your style but im not able to commission you... i cant afford it + #i cannot look my parents in the eye and tell them that i spent money on a png. im soooo sorry. #secondly. i love your style and you are my number one source of inspiration! i hope this is not like. insulting to you. #im nowhere close to your skill level by any means so. dis is not that goooood.... and also kinda lowkey feels like art theft??? #I DONT KNOWE I'M SORRRRYYY #AHHHH #anyway. tldr im insane and i cant afford to commission you but i love your art so. diy cheye commission #scuttling away #michael #myart

[chemicalcarousel]

Us, a system: "I'd wish I could be open about the people in my head to people outside the internet, such as family and friends that I'm close to"

Therapist: "but why do you want that?"

Us:

#we are struggling hhhhhnnnggng #actuallysystem #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #pluralgang #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallypdid #actuallyosddid #system things #ours #this happened yesterday after having taken a break with this therapist #she's so annoying but i think she means well #she's the first mental health professional who saw that we were plural #and not psychotic #so i give her that ig #anyway this is how it is when you cant afford specialised therapy #public healthcare it is :))) #yeah we are privileged compared to most #but just shows even lucky ppl get shit treatment #we need to stop ranting in the tags lmaooo #bad habit but it kinda helps lol