#i need fresh brain

[ihavedoorinsurance]

big long post abt bokutachi-kun bc i have worms

so. a little over a week ago, SoapOpera46 (or Yoli-chan) blessed us with this video and i would like to talk abt it at length. piece by piece. this is the true definition of sadan. so much so that it's going under a readmore (if those even matter anymore. i hear fumblr truncates posts automatically?) anyway

full disclosure: i didn't plan any of this. what's to come is basically word puke, off the top of my head, with no organisation or structure to it.

you won't be interested in this unless you're clinically insane. if you're looking for worthwhile opinions on the video, i recommend browsing the comments section. they're short, sweet, and easy to read. nnnnow, without further ado.....

I KU ZO

i'll start off saying i don't know shit about Dream (YUME-SAN as he is so graciously credited in the vid description)! not a damn thing! all i know is he's a Minecraft YouTuber, and up to just yesterday i didn't even know he made music! what seems to be very emo music if this song is anything to go by.

i looked up the lyrics seperately bc tbh i couldnt extrapolate anything from that singing. bokutachi-kun's a star talent and all bless his heart but i needed expert assistance. also according to the blurb at the bottom of the page i referenced, this song references the struggles of depression and ADHD! and myopia, most tragically of all.

here's a student copy.

what to note before we forge onwards: this is contextualised to us by Yoli-chan as a look into Bokutachi's history, saying she: "feeling it fit bokutachi-kun no past very much!!!"

i'm not sure how far in the past this is, but i have some vague ideas pinned on the information that, expressed by Episode 10, Raku and Koneko have already graduated (or dropped out of i'm not discounting that) college by the time the mainline story is in effect.

you also see these silhouettes

of what i assume to be the girls? at around 1:22, so i'm giving it anywhere from 6 to 14 years ago.

and if that seems like a wide ratio that's because it is!! i have no way of knowing what year of high school he's in, when exactly he graduated, how long it's been since then, or anything. i mean he's a fairly young man so i'll take that into account but that hardly helps

(also grant that none of the story takes off until after Raku and Koneko have left college long enough for Raku to call her fellow alumni "old" friends....also wtf what did they major in i've been asking this for years..you don't see them with jobs ever I MEAN PERHAPS KONEKO MAJORED IN NURSING THE COVID PSA DOES INDICATE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL SO IDK)

but damn if any of that actually matters. you can't even peg the year by identifying hiis fatback monitor and Windows 98 ass OS

he is using some..EQUIVALENT of early msn messenger, maybe that puts this in the ballpark of 2000-2003

ik the Covid PSA isn't like properly canon or anything but i'll bet Raku is still using Win98 well after the OS's discontinuation anyway (it went out of service in 2006 if that helps.)

so if Bokutachi's old enough to be in any year of high school in 1998-2000 (assuming this computer is any indication. it might not be!), i'd wager a guess he's anywhere between 24-30 years old by the time NNSG properly starts (again assuming, that 2010 is the actual year the show takes place. once again, it might not be! it's at least post-Hatsune Miku, judging by the Christmas episode). this leaves room for college, but i doubt he went.

kind of what i already assumed, but it's fun trying to put these pieces together.

also can i just say i'm intrigued by the "nya, rawr" adlib in the beginning? that is Hitoshi's Thing, as we well know, but additionally, in the very beginning of the video, there is a box of pocky on the floor of the hallway.

pocky would happen to be one half of Hitoshi's favourite breakfast (plus ramune. this fuck drinks soda and eats cookies for breakfast what is wrong with him.), so i wonder if he had some knowledge of Hitoshi already this early on. we're operating on the premise that this is Bokutachi's younger self singing, right? did Hitoshi go to his school? we don't see him anywhere unlike Raku and Koneko, so idk. maybe "nya, rawr" is just a popular, cool phrase to say in Amerijapan.

potential cool thing: the one pocky stick upside down and sitting outside the box but near it might allude to Bokutachi himself. you do get the feeling he's lonely throughout the song, he's not got one close relationship with a real live person. not in school, not at home...

let's start talking about these lyrics.

I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time Stare at the ceiling while I hold back what's on my mind And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine" And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine"

--

so i like this set of frames

you see him happily chatting away, but abrubtly he gets tense and stops himself. only after his mood swing is acknowledged does he try to perk back up and affirm to whoever's asking that he's "just fine". clearly he feels some kind of pressure to bottle up his emotions.

the facade begins to wane slightly here: despite the open ears he remains reticent. another thing: he seems to just be very guarded when he's around people. like physically!

you see him holding himself in the midst of confrontation here, earlier he'd balled up his fist because he got upset thinking about something too long... his stance in general is very tight in public, from what i can tell.

here, he's got his arms firmly placed at his sides as he turns away from whoever it was that confronted him earlier. shortly afterwards when he's sure he's not being looked at, he drops his little half smile.

in the first image of this post, again at around 1:22-1:25 you see him holding his bookbag straps and powering through the hallways the longer he continues to walk, like there's a sense of urgency there.

and here, he's around people that are likely just minding their own business but he's just. not comfortable in any way. the song mentions at this point:

"Always bein' judged by a bunch of strange faces Scared to go outside, haven't seen the light in ages"

even though it seems he's being ignored for the most part. everyone who's addressed him thus far in the song has only ever asked him if he was okay. i have to wonder if he's being gossipped about behind his back for being an outcast and is well aware of it.

"haven't seen the light in ages" strikes me as metaphorical. light as in hope. light as in a reason to keep going.

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE MOMENT TO HIGHLIGHT THESE LYRICS

But the fact is I can never get off of my mattress And all that they can ask is "Why are you so sad, kid?" (Why are you so sad, kid?)

--

my guy has been in bed all day long, just awake and in bed dawn to dusk, tossing and turning unable to get to sleep. or even will himself to get up. he hasn't eaten, drank, brushed his teeth, showered, just. bed. and the first thing his (probably) legal guardian thinks to ask him when he FINALLY manages to find some strength is why he's so sad.

it'd be nice to interpret that in a compassionate way. i think best case scenario, his guardian(s) don't know how to help him and want to talk with him. approaching the subject of utter disengagement from the world is difficult when you haven't lived it, and i can't imagine mental health resources are plentiful in early 2000s Amerijapan.

but also he doesn't seem to trust his legal guardian(s)?? he's just as guarded with them as he is with strangers, look at this at around 0:56

he looks anxious trying to address either of them. the way he's looking back and forth between them it's like he's trying to get a word in edgewise but can't.

they're not particularly given identifiable features. they look fairly similar to the "strange faces" he sees judging him, except they're bigger. they cast a longer shadow and they're no comfort to him at all. helps that the lyrics accompanied are:

"And it just keeps on pilin' It's so terrifying"

--

which implies to me he's constantly in the habit of racking up shames in his legal guardian's eyes. like they pick at him frequently and find reasons upon reasons to scold him, and remind him of everything that's going wrong. maybe the pressure he feels to perform normalcy is derived from them, because if someone finds something "wrong" with him, they're going to pick and pick and demean him and lose faith in him. and that hits too close to home for him.

(i'm willing to bet he is/was physically punished too. like, shot in the dark, but that makes sense to me with how stiffly he walks and how clammed up you see him around ppl. i might be projecting though but hey. never said i was sure.)

I'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY GUY IS JUST CHRONICALLY ONLINE TOO

morning to night, he finds himself whiling away HOURS on the computer. time spent online (on messaging clients and what have you) outweighs time spent on homework, and studying, possibly eating. anything else that might beg his attention is forgotten.

anything else that might stress him out is forgotten when he turns on the computer. he can mask (OHOHOHOHO) his struggles online because there's no burden of expectation or obligation.

there's a freedom in his anonymity, in how he can choose his company, and lie about being happy, and they'd believe him. no-one asks questions. there's no pressure. and that makes him "happy" so to speak.

i say that because only when he's messing around online do we finally see him peaceful enough to go to sleep. the fog on his brain is lifted when he turns himself into this person that's full of confidence and takes life easy. and even though he might be faking it...

Been wearin' a smile for so long, it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

that'll happen to you when you use another skin to cope with your own shortcomings. i'm acutely aware of this in particular. this might be what some people refer to as irony poisoning? when you do something enough times, even if it's only for show, it becomes habit, and your habits aren't you as a person, but they can certainly shape you.

i wonder if he joked about dark sshit like kidnapping people and committing felonies, etc. to try and make himself let go of the fear of being judged by others. make himself stop feeling empathy so he'd stop acting so careful, thus unchaining himself from his own thought paralysis. plenty of people do that (and some become criminals later on, go figure)

anyhow later on we have a mental breakdown from about 1:31 to 1:39 with:

But I've been places So I'm okay-ish, so I'm okay-ish Yeah, I'm okay, bitch"

--

coupled with what seems to be a violent start from a dream of some kind?

not sure if this dream IS or is connected to the following scenes of walking through the school hallways + out in the grass, but that would actually make a lot of sense considering "haven't seen the light in ages" compared against his internet addiction. like he found a distraction and thus has little incentive to leave. i imagine he's skipping school and holing up in his room or something.

the effects of what he's doing seem to be catching up with him. you can see him high strung when he gets out of bed, and when he answers to what's likely his guardian(s), it snaps him.

i get the impression he either woke up with all this tension, then realised he slept through the morning and made it worse, OR. the dream sharply reminded him of his current circumstances and THAT made it worse.

maybe he's spiralling because he feels powerless. to stop himself from making bad decisions, from disappointing people, from pushing people away, from underachieving, from misusing his time, from taking his life for granted, from being alone...challenging these doubts about your own agency over your life is tough when you don't know where to start and also you're a teenager.

he's clearly wracked with despair over this but can't act in his own best interest due to closing off all avenues to recovery thanks to never opening up to anyone. god the more i think about it, the more i consider "why are you so sad, kid?" to be accusatory. if you feel singled out in being honest, of course you'll try to avoid that.

also note:

But the fact is I need help, I'm failin' all my classes

damn straight.

jesus that report card. look at that thing, that is straight Fs all the way down. i mean we know he hasn't been doing his homework but god ALL F'S??? IN EVERY SUBJECT????? you'd think he wasn't going to school at all, which kind of lends itself to my idea that he's just altogether not going. or when he is there, doing literally anything else but the work. god damn. relatable

that combined with his outburst, that epic door slam?? that might be what pulls him into the doctor's office later on. like his legal guardian(s) are just sick of his shit and so they get him psychoanalysed.

A FINE ANALYSIS FROM DR. ^w^ PHD, FUCKING "NORMAL JA NAI", WHAT A GENIUS ASSESSMENT. I'M SO GLAD THEY COULD TAP INTO THE HEART OF THE ISSUE AND ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING IN A THOROUGH AND SPECIALISED MANNER. BASED

no seriously even though that shit kills me every time i see it, i like the implication that they only vaguely diagnose symptoms, write a prescription, and send him on his way. like what's really wrong with him is being overlooked by professionals because the mental health awareness just isn't there. as exemplified by:

"They think that I need glasses"

which is a lyric i laughed at but also...that's kinda true to life. you'll say to your school's counsellor, everything that sings to the tune of someone with executive dysfunction. a spectrum disorder even. and they'll be like

"hm. move em up. they cant see the board that's why they're not taking notes right. have you talked to an ophthalmologist". offering bandaid solutions for bigger issues. and speaking of bandaid solutions, DRUGS

"I just really wish that I could pass this (Wish that I could pass this)"

That's what the mask is That's what the point of the mask is"

SDGLKMFKFKLDHNFGJKNGVF I RAN OUT OF IMAGE SPACE LMAOOOO

okay so basically from 1:49-1:59 Bokutachi goes through a moment of crisis where he laments his fate of being labelled as "NORMAL JA NAI". either he doesn't like the things the medication is doing to him or he's skeptical of taking them at all. regardless those shits are going inthe TRASH. my guy is like "fuck big pharma" out here

he is not in a stable frame of mind at all throughout this video. who knows if those pills would have helped. we'll never know because he doesn't trust them. he doesn't want to think of himself as someone who needs that kind of thing.

as far as he's concerned he doesn't! he has his chat group, he has FUCKING MINESWEEPER; if he were to try and "fix" himself now, what would happen to those spaces? would he still be able to navigate them? find the same joy in them as he once did? they're all that matters to him! he's become accustomed to the isolation and this is his only reprieve (read as: escape) from a hostile environment.

(how hostile it really is, that's sort of up in the air. i'm thinking he's got the makings of a dude with some kinda cluster A disorder. ADD and autism are also on my mind, depression because of the song's origins itself, but eh. i digress.)

you can see him calm himself down once it's time to boot up the computer again at 2:00.

so it would seem, he's already given up on trying to be more than what he is right now. change is scary though, i don't blame him. especially when you feel like it's being forced on you when you didn't ask.

maybe this is him trying to regain some kind of control, but...in a decidedly unhealthy way. by sticking his head in the sand and acting like nothing's wrong. burying the idea that he needs help makes him feel less like a problem that needs to be solved and more like a well adjusted person that's just misunderstood.

at 2:09 he pulls out his planner (i refuse to believe that's a smartphone LIKE COME ON THE TIMELINE. PLEASE) and you can kind of watch his stomach churn knowing there's shit to do but his alter ego doesn't care.

his alter ego isn't concerned with that bullshit. "nah i'll have time. i'll do it later. and if i don't get it done tonight, who cares? nothing's gonna happen to me and i don't gotta answer to anybody. i'm not scared." he's developing an apathy to responsibility b/c it frustrates him he can't manage it.

i have to ask if this is where his rebuke of social acceptability took root.

you even see him at around 2:21-2:26 pull out his medical records and write "daijoubu" next to the diagnosis. which also slays me but next to "NORMAL ja nai" it kind of reads like "not being normal is okay".

that's a perfectly fine stance to have when you're just a little kooky! just a tad silly! eccentric even! i don't know if that's something you should be saying to wave away EVERYTHING that could be affecting you (and potentially others if it goes unchecked), just because it makes you uncomfortable to stare it down! that's dangerous!! particularly when you don't know your limits

i'm also kind of loving 2:28-2:32??? where he raises his head to his legal guardians and he's smiling for the first time in front of them.

but now we're well aware all his smiles are performative. he's wearing the mask for them now too.

the fake it 'til you make it policy seems to be his safety net. in order to avoid being treated and seen like a walking blemish, something to be fixed, he's slowly grown to be more comfortable acting well to do, or at least unaffected. then people leave him alone. when he's loose and devil-may-care, he's allowed to be himself. which would be fine if that were honest.

in truth, he's extremely emotional. he's sensitive. he's scared and wound up. he's angry and he's self conscious. he cannot function in the way the world wants him to, and he can't stand his own inaction in the face of his self-inflicted demise. but when that's too shameful to bear, you don't seek anyone out. imagine how much more painful it would be to have someone see you flounder. they'll poke fun. they'll judge.

it's like he sees the world telling him to be better, and his response is to create what he thinks is an objectively better person. even though at the end of the day he is still who he is.

i wonder if he starts wearing that mask permanently because at one point he'd become aware there was no running from himself. with this being his only way to reconcile his failures, it was inevitable.

we end the animation with him going to sleep and his maegami "masked" self looming over the end credits. smiling is equated with wearing a mask consistently throughout the song, so i find the image of him going to sleep with a smile on his face pretty solidly telling me that he's starting the transition into becoming the Projected Bokutachi as opposed to Plain Bokutachi.

this is the beginning of his descent into a more dangerous, yet exciting and outgoing person. he is mentally unwell and owning it. i don't know what happened between high school and the NNSG plotline (or god forbid, what happened between childhood and adolescence), but here we definitely introduce some catalysts for his face-heel turn.

and now i have even more reasons to reconsider this little rat man's true motivations and character depth.

arigatou gozaimasu Yoli-chan (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

#nnsg #nyan neko sugar girls #nnsgposting #bokutachi-san #no one is going to read this!! and what's more i actually highly encourage that you don't!!!! #look at this shit is longer than the Half Blood Prince #im really just rambling but like god damn you dont understand #how good it is to be validated with this #after eight years my curiosity has been rewarded #and now to go even further beyond and make even MORE fanfic #god i should show off my theory if were going this far with it right #yeah ill do that. at some point though not tonight #i need fresh brain

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity

#still unsure of Why this was the only pose that came to mind but! who am i to deny the brain what it wants #i also have no idea what it is about butterflies and mullets + extra fluff #it just feels Right. #oh also if you haven't checked out chez-cinnamon's Real World au uhhhh Go Do That!!! #its fun! its funky! its fresh! its got a lot of great art! its got a Comic! #emphasis on a Lot Of Great Art! #i will admit im emotionally invested in the plot. its reeled me in. im Fascinated by it #also(x2) i Cannot get over how swagtastic that butterfly howdy design is #like!!! look at it!!! the colors the patterns the WINGS agh the wings <3<3<3 #truly a unique and creative design that im totally not jealous of ahaha what- #kidding im Kidding. or am i... i am i am #scribble garnish #yassified howdy <3 #welcome home #alrighty its officially 2 am i needed to be asleep uhhhhh three hours ago #gonna queue this up and conk out. while lovingly thinking of chez-cinnamon's butterfly howdy my fucking GOD #cant get over how Gorgeous he is #the facial patterns.... the colors.... immaculate #top tier design i am Taking Notes #ok ok sleeping now. Sleeping. snz snork mimi and all that. etc

[unexpectedbrickattack]

short king and his shorter kings

#pizza tower #pepstavo #peppinoise #i sketched it out WEEKS ago #but w me almost finishing this godawful comm i felt compelled to do something for Me #i cannot wait to finish; i have a couple of forms sitting there collecting dust but im too overwhelmed w this shitty comm- #-to even attempt to tackle those. i need to scrub my brain and start fresh. but after i finish it lmao #anyway hey. hope everyones okay and vibin #dont take this seriously but also. heehee. #in hindsight i feel like i need to bump gustavos head up a lil bit but weh #not too compelled to fix it. #additional context that i think is fun; gus is just a touchy dude and he finds all kinds of reasons to pick peppino up #and every time peppino is like SO flustered and shocked bc itll be in the view of customers #like some sports team wins and its on their tvs and ppl are hootin n hollerin #and like people will notice and keep cheering and its alot hes like oh my GOD u cannot keep doing that im going to explode and then die #noise will do it to prove he can do it and then his back snaps in two bc he weighs like 80 lbs (36kg) #but for like a brief moment of time he is facefirst in tummy and hes ecstatic #theo it is not funny to be rushed to the er bc u broke ur back #also suggestive (but funny i prommy) #but he absolutely would be that like girl who needed a neckbrace from having her gf accidentally sit on her face too hard #hes like ouuuuhhghh....that was worth it. how long will it take to recover doc bc i wanna do it again :) #meanwhile. i think if that happened peppino would literally go into hiding. ur not finding him. #it would literally haunt him that he nearly killed this rat w his fat ass #as if this is not the way both gus and noise would like to go out. it would be peaceful for them i think #anyway #runs away cutely; see u in two weeks maybe

[clownsuu]

Would you make any Robbie ship with any of the oc what did he know?

Ngl I felt like I got a stroke reading that last part hdhJDHDHDI-

but Robbie shipping, I personally do not mind people wanting to ship characters with him, I’m pretty chill when it comes to that as long as it’s not like- super gross/weird KDHDHD-

#Rn I don’t really have a ship for him cause he’s still a pretty fresh character LMAO #Fresh on da brain #Still needs to simmer and set in the fridge for a few hours #He’s just kinda that guy rn lmAO gotta take shape and become his lil buggy self #Also what d i d he know? #What secrets is this beetle keeping from us?? #WE NEED ANSWERS ROBBIE HOW COULD YOU KEEP SECRETS FROM ME-! YOUR OWN F A T H E R-!!

[synthetic-rust]

What they don’t tell you about autism is that it feels like you’re simultaneously one step outside of reality yet two steps too far into it at all times

#chatter #salt grain thoughts #autism #I truly don’t know what I’m explaining here #but this is what I feel like constantly when I’m inferacing with the world #too far away from it yet also too inmeshed in it at the same time #like I react to things with a weird sense of almost astonishment like I’m experiencing everything fresh for the first time every time #(I don’t literally go ‘woah’ or anything but the intensity of the thing never changes) #which can either be good or like most times overwhelming #it’s probably why I keep myself so zoned out a lot of time #… #might just be a me thing but this feels quite connected to how my brain works I guess #feels like my head is just never goddamn prepared to experience anything at all #which lends to the whole needing control over your environment thing with autism #gotta have some sort of expectation and consistency happening or else your nervous system might shit itself

[puwumats]

sometimes you just gotta put your big kid robot angry eyebrows on and try and murder your friends. as stress relief.

#literally just sketched this and added some gradient bc i didnt wanna do a full thing #but i NEEDED to get this out of my brain i cant stop thinking about it #critical role #cr #critrole #critical role spoilers #bell's hells #bells hells #fresh cut grass #critical role fanart

[robanilla-arts]

@bonejello 🌟 I interrupted them, sorry.

His little propeller is spinning. you could say the engine is running. lol. lmao. haha, even.

#error sans #fresh sans #retroglitch #hubba hubba awooga #robanilla-arts #my art #i love them your honor #you made so many adorable doodles of my favorite boys!!!!! i hope you enjoy 🥰💛 #i need to do more ecto #that tongue was funnn #suggestive #( <- ?? ig?? they are literally just making out is that soooo sinful your honor? the things they do in my brain would make you hurl ) #go i really hope i didn't miss any big details. ~~like that one time i forgot ink's entire sash 🫠~~

[jellybeanium124]

gentlejack fic where they continually come up with increasingly bizarre, unheard of, and specific ways to call each other homos

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlejack #yeah this has become a calico jack posting blog what do you want me to go back to izzy?? #I'm sure I will my brain needed something fresh tho

[wntryoongs]

We, as a society, need more Modern!au Saltburn fics.

Imagine what they would do with social media, AND SONGSSS!! (Oliver would def have tumblr and reddit)

The amount of sarcastic "it's not homo when its with homies" jokes Farleigh would make LMFAOOO

Saltburn having it's own tiktok account ran by Venetia ;)

This is a long shot, but Oliver being an ao3 author, and then accidentally telling Felix while they're high 🤐

Everybody give me more Modern!au hcs to help my brainrot please and thank yew :>

#saltburn #cattonquick #oliver quick #felix catton #help me plz #modern au #im going insane #i need fresh brains #do you guys see my vision

[kiwibirdlafayette]

dangerous game. writing ianitees mumbo and scott scenes in my head. there is a way to connect it to linked life and thats dangerous to think about

#/silly #mianite x life series #linked life #mianite #lafakiwi talks #something something the timelines are swapped and thats how tom and jordan end up in the hardcore world… #watchers cant find grian and the life crew bc theyre in mianite… #a fresh version of the world.. ianite still needs to be found #hrhfhfrrghrr is this anything probably not #brain going crazy bc i got boba just now oughougough #(for context. The hardcore syndisparklez if we die the server ends thing i miss o so dearly) #i wanna ask bamboo who the champions would be i have an idea. i. Im thinking ahoht this too much

[astranauticus]

(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)

you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscent reader #orv spoilers #orv #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #art i made #the first hyperlink is to the song on youtube the second one is to my translation btw #that caption was not an exaggeration i was deadass like walking back from class with my spotify on shuffle and kinda like #tuned back in to what was playing in my ears and just had a kinda. HOLD UP WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND #honestly the whole song is kinda yjh if you squint and like for what its worth literally the only reason this is tied to like #that scene from 269 specifically is bc i literally just read that part today so it was really fresh in my brain #god the process of making this was so strange too bc i did it in almost one sitting except i had a fuckin SPORTS EVENT of all things #in the evening so it was like. 3 hours straight of doing this 2 hours of playing sportsball of all things then another 3 hours of this #so now i am physically mentally AND emotionally drained! genuinely couldntve had a more exhausting consecutive 8 hours if i tried #btw fun fact in the spirit of like. making life easier for myself all of yjh's flashback frames or whatever are webtoon panel redraws #except for that last one obviously cuz the webtoon isnt there yet (which. wow the processing of drawing that was. very painful) #but its like. I AM THE WAY THAT I AM if given the chance to draw to my knowledge one of the most tragic moments from the story I WILL DO IT #ok looking back theres a bunch of editing errors but also i just. really need to go do my ACTUAL FUCKIN WORK LMAO #god my arm hurts #hmmm i might clean up that 10 scenario sketch later on. i kinda like how the wings turned out #and also kdj's dipshit expression.

[dandelionvirus]

Idk what more ridiculously rule breaking thing I want more

Brain figuring out time travel in a way to bring all the wrongfully dead in the mobile games to come together and beat the shit out of MoM in unison

Or the dandelion leaders all being adults and not ghosts (other than ven) and telling Sora and co to get the fuck out of the way this is their fight to finish with MoM or the foretellers or whatever

#honestly I want the foretellers to destroy Sora in like the tutorial of the game #to realize what it is to go against a true keybalde master #and not just aqua lol #sorry aqua was fresh out of training and in rod I feel her growth was stunted #with Eraqus as a trainer too #she was doomed by the narrative #khux #khml #khdr #khuxmldr #and i mean all o fthem #i want brain and vidar to team up together #i need baldr and helgi and hoder and vala screaming as they charge in #where are my sewer squad?!

[roychewtoy]

impaled

#nathan being impaled on that tetanus inducing loose steel pipe. tho tetanus is the least of his worries on account of. well u know 🕳 #nathan can be a body horror fans best friend if u let him into ur heart. living human crash dummy #i really cant believe he gets impaled. twice. #hole moment! #love turning nathans immortality round in my head. but healing factor....? #thinkin today about how the video game guy tim threatens to cut one of them in half with a chainsaw and simon is like: #[😐nathan u obviously have to volunteer] #but what woulda actually happened if that followed through [probably why it didnt lol] #would the others have had to drag each severed bit of him back to the community centre and let his guts re fuse #fucking hold him together with gaffer tape and plasters. cause i doubt he coulda regrown a whole half #his 'healing factor' only comes into play when he dies. fresh canvas etch a sketch reboot and all that. hes not fuckin wolverine #all the deaths r: impaled on fence. impaled on pipe. beaten to death. blows his own brains out. falls and snaps his neck #but chainsaw... ? one can ponder. fingers to head i can imagine anything image #readin his wiki rn 'his body will never get sick. rot. age. or truly grow old' #may not get sick but he can still shit his guts out. hashtag oblivious lactose intolerant king hashtag milk drinker #forever the worlds most annoying twenty yr old #and then the wiki goes 'the user does not need to eat drink or breathe' ....hello #ive rotated him not aging any further cause it lines up with the whole stuck in his ways. never changing [kelly voice: its just who u are] #but eatin and drinking and breathing??? we know he still experiences hunger [<-kebab] #and he dunks his head in a bucket of water when hes testin for powers with simon. gaspin for air afterwards right #firm believer in the. he suffocated to death several times in the coffin before they dug him up #oh waaait. is it stating this like. he doesnt need foodwaterair. cause it doesnt matter if he dies.. ohhhhhh..... Oh..😃 #staring at nathan sleeping in the community centre surviving on bags of crisps from the vendies so hard i burn holes through my monitor #this got away from me. uh. living crash dummy. oil pastel guts and water colour jumpsuit yessir #having fun doin art. expect more hole art. sorryfor putting this in the misfits tag hehe. not really #gore #blood #misfits #my art #chewtoy

[ozcarr]

Art blocked so look at my OCs or whatever the fuck

#girls in the middle and bottom right are from high school (ancient) and I wanted to give them a fresh coat of paint #brain so fried I needed to remember how to draw #julien #julien 10 years before canon specifically #desdemona #naomi #aurelio #kennedy #my art

[tearueful]

Via homelanderbot on Twitter [x]

Vanity Fair Article

#Antony Starr #The Boys #Homelander #homelanderbot #I need everyone else to be scared with me #because Homelander has done some FUCKED UP SHIT #like the fresh cow milk #and the breast milk #and just- the general lactation excitement #and the fucking by a corpse in an alley with brain blood make outs #and everything with Doppelganger #and the rifling through Becca's clothing and sniffing.. #and there are so many horrible scenes why do I love this character plz help #the full article tidbit makes me think possible breastfeeding scene with Firecracker 😖

[longeyelashedtragedy]

c-ptsd Life Hack: anyone out there the exact opposite of claustrophobic? claustro...philic? i hate big open indoor spaces, high ceilings can get fucked, etc. i feel so good and comfortable when i feel like there are things touching me and surrounding me, protecting me and "hiding" me. (i realized how much i enjoyed those stupid covid shields at self checkouts and stuff...they were see through and all but the illusion of a physical barrier between myself and the wide open public was really something!).

maybe this comes from nights of horrible nightmares and waking up to dissociation and or sleep paralysis that made it impossible to do small kid things like call/run to mom and dad for confirmation that you are safe and that there are people there to protect you!* and so the safest thing was to keep your entire self under the blanket and lie still. IDK! but,

right before my bathroom there's this little entryway that has a door that you can close, it's very small and crowded (it's where i keep most of my clothes and all of my shoes) and has no window, and i realized that if i put a blanket and pillow down and close the door it's a very cosy place to work if i feel so stressed/overwhelmed that the Fight or Flight™️ Adrenaline starts to kick in. i'm sitting there right now (i had a short phone interview--couldn't do this for a zoom interview lol) and it's kind of awesome!

i was going to say "and yes i'm a real adult" but actually...yes? adulthood is being honest with yourself, taking ownership of your life, and making shit work for you.

(*no, of course in the real world there isn't always someone there to protect you, unfortunately not even for kids, but children who are ~kindergarten age absolutely should, developmentally, have this trust)

#i also do need like #sun and fresh air #but if i'm getting randomly nervous to work on something important... #brain stuff #i am curious to know how many people like tiny spaces #most people seem to actively hate them