#i took ibuprofen like three hours ago and i still feel like shit . i hate it here

[semperama]

Verbs: 4, Pinto!

I apologize, this got a little too long, and I probably should have posted it to AO3 instead, but I’m too lazy to think of a title and all that jazz right now. So hopefully it isn’t too much of a pain to read here!

pinto, convalesce

"So how many 'break a leg' jokes have you heard in the past few days?" Zach asks as he follows Chris into the house, close on his heels in case he trips. He wanted to rent a wheelchair to bring Chris home in, but of course Chris wouldn't hear of it. He always seems to think he has something to prove, even when sporting a cast that extends from foot to thigh and a bulky boot to go with it.

"I lost count," Chris says, leaning for a moment against the wall in the foyer and looking over his shoulder at Zach. "But you know what? I didn't mind it."

"You do love a corny joke." Zach drops Chris's duffel on the floor, then goes to his side, hands hovering in the air as he tries to decide how best to help. "Not sure what that says about your sense of humor. Alright. Too bed now, right?"

"The couch?" Chris says, turning wide, pleading eyes Zach's direction. "I've been laying in bed for days. I don't want to shut myself away in the bedroom until I have to."

Zach purses his lips, but he can't think of a good reason to refuse him. "Fine," he says, "but you aren't going to go hobbling around the house every time you want something. Once you're on the couch, your ass is staying on the couch."

Chris doesn't argue now, but Zach guesses there will be arguments later. And really, it's not like Zach blames him. He can imagine how frustrating it must be to have your mobility limited, to need someone else to take care of you. Chris has always been independent. He doesn't like relying on others--not for anything. Even as Zach leads him to the couch and helps him prop up his leg on a stack of pillows, he wonders how much Chris is bristling at him, how much he wishes Zach would just go away.

Still, Zach has to ask, "What can I get you?"

Chris sighs. "Water, I guess. And hand me the remotes? They're over there next to the TV."

Zach knows where the remotes are. He knows where everything in this house is, and he knew it long before he moved in two months ago. But Chris is still adjusting--they both are--and this whole mess with his leg has only thrown a wrench in things, so Zach lets this one slide and goes to retrieve the remotes.

On the way back from the kitchen with Chris's water, he digs two prescription bottles out of the duffel. Painkillers and antibiotics, both of which need to be taken on a regular schedule. One more thing for Zach to keep track of, and one more thing for Chris to potentially resent him for. Maybe it would be easier if he set alarms on Chris's phone, so he isn't bugging Chris himself, but even that feels like it might be too invasive.

"Here," he says as he sets the water down close enough for Chris to reach it. "And here are your meds. You're about due for more oxy now, if you want."

Chris waves him away absently, his eyes fixed on the TV screen as he flips through the channels. "That stuff makes me feel awful. The doctor said I could switch to ibuprofen whenever."

Zach sighs. Chris has three pins in his leg, but trust him to try to play the tough guy now. Who doesn't want to take the good shit when they have it? But he bites his tongue. "Do you want ibuprofen now then?"

"Nah, I'm good. I'll wait until dinner."

Nodding, Zach looks from Chris to the TV to Chris again. What is he supposed to do now? How is he supposed to help? "I guess I'll go start a load of laundry then. Mind if I get your clothes out of the bag?"

Chris looks at him then, eyebrows pinching together. "You don't have to do that. I can wash them later."

"Chris." Zach throws up his hands. "How are you going to do that, huh?"

"Right." The troughs in his forehead deepen. "Okay. Sorry."

Sorry? Zach frowns, but he finds he isn't in the mood to unpack all that baggage in that one word now, so he goes to unpack the physical baggage instead. It's a relief, in some ways, to go through the motions of sorting the clothes in the hamper and tossing them into the washer. He feels far more useful now than he did hovering over Chris in the living room, or back at the hospital, where friends and family came and went and all Zach could do was sit and watch Chris's pale face for signs of fatigue. He thought he was going to cry when Chris's dad offered to have him come stay with them while he was recovering, but luckily Chris shut that one down quickly. But was it because he trusted Zach to take care of him, or because he didn't want to put his family out? Is he only putting up with Zach now because he has to?

Zach realizes he's spiraling and takes a deep breath to rein himself in. This is all too new. He moved in with Chris just a couple weeks before filming on the new Star Trek started, and though it seemed like a good idea at the time, it's been a big adjustment. Going from a long-distance relationship to a live-in one--plus filming twelve-plus hours a day--hasn't been easy on either of them, and Chris's injury has made things that much more awkward. Now he knows Chris feels guilty for delaying production and guilty that Zach almost took the poor stunt coordinator's head off after the fact and guilty that he screwed up the stunt in the first place. And what's Zach supposed to do with all that? He can't fix Chris's leg and he can't fix all the emotional shit surrounding it either, so all he's good for now is fetching Chris water and making him feel uncomfortable in his own damn house.

Back in the living room, Chris is still scrolling through the channels, though his eyes look unfocused, like he might not really be paying attention to what he's seeing. Zach wishes they hadn't taken the dogs over to Mark's. Maybe if they were here, they would cheer Chris up better than Zach can. 

"Hey," Zach says, leaning against the door frame and offering a tentative smile. They used to be able to communicate so much to each other with just smiles, and Zach has no idea what he may be communicating now, but he hopes it's something. He hopes Chris can still read him like this.

Chris clicks the TV off again and tosses the remote on the coffee table, and only then does he look up at Zach's face. "Hey," he says wearily. Then, after a double-take, he stretches out his hand. "Hey," he says again, softer. "Come here."

Zach goes to him and slips his fingers into Chris's, a hopeful nervousness unfurling in his chest. Before he can protest, Chris tugs at him and sends him sprawling into his lap. He only barely manages to catch himself and avoid falling against Chris's injured leg.

"Careful!" Zach digs his fingers into Chris's shoulders. "They'll have us both killed if you reinjure that leg, you moron."

"Relax," Chris says, offering up the first real smile Zach has seen in days, then hiding it in Zach's neck. "I mean it. You need to relax. You're acting like I'm on my deathbed."

"I'm not--" Zach huffs and tries to rearrange himself, get some of his weight off Chris's stomach. "It's not that. I know you're going to be fine."

"Then what is it?" Chris reaches up and brushes a few strands of hair off Zach's forehead. And God, Zach loves it when he does that. He used to be so neurotic about his hair, would duck instinctively out of the way whenever anyone reached for it, but something about Chris doing it, the intimacy of it--it makes his stomach flip over every time.

"This isn't exactly how I thought living together would go," Zach says, and then it's his turn to hide his face, pressing his mouth against Chris's temple. He still smells like hospital, but he doubts either of them want to think about the work it'll take to get him in the shower right now. "Doesn't this feel like...I don't know, some kind of bad omen?"

"Bad omen? Jesus." Chris chuckles and snatches up one of Zach's hands, brings it up to his mouth and kisses the edge of his palm. "Look, I know I've been really fucking cranky. We were both sleep-deprived even before all of this, and now I feel like I've let everybody down, and I hate being..." He gestures down the length of his body. "Helpless."

"Yeah, I know," Zach says, because he does. Of course he does.

"But none of that has anything to do with you and me," Chris says. "There are no bad omens, Zach. Only bad luck."

He turns his head to the side and captures Zach's mouth--a quick peck first, then a harder one, the kind that has them both drawing an anticipatory breath. Not that they have anything to anticipate at the moment. Chris is out of commission in every possible way.

"I just don't want you to regret this," Zach says when they break apart. He is painfully aware of how it sounds--almost childishly needy, not at all like a man who's spent most of his adult life in therapy for his abandonment issues.

Luckily for him, Chris only grin at him and shakes his head. "The only thing I regret right now is not asking you to move in with me sooner." He rubs his thumb across Zach's bottom lip. "We shouldn't have had to spend the first months of our relationship to tired or too--injured to fuck."

Zach barks out a laugh at that and swats Chris on the stomach. "One-track mind," he admonishes. 

Chris's eyes sparkle, even as the smile fades from his lips. "But seriously, do you think I don't worry about the same thing? Don't you know all I can think about is how unfair it is that you'll have to wait on me hand and foot for the next few weeks?"

"But I'm happy to do it, Chris," Zach says, brushing his fingers across Chris's cheekbone. "I'd do it even if you weren't bedridden, if you wanted me to."

Chris crinkles his nose. "Yeah, no. That sounds like a nightmare."

"Why's that?" Zach tries not to sound too hurt.

"Because I want a partner, Zach." Before Zach can argue, Chris puts a finger to his lips. "And yes, I'm aware that partners sometimes have to take care of each other, which is why I'm going to try to get over myself and let you take care of me and not be grumpy about it." He presses a loud, smacking kiss to Zach's cheek. "But in return you have to stop acting like you have to earn your right to be here, okay?"

That sentence has another ten years of therapy packed into it, but Zach pushes it away for now and focuses on the important part: that Chris wants him here, and not just for what Zach can do for him. 

"Deal," Zach says, and presses his mouth Chris's temple again. He'll do his best, anyway--which is all either of them can do. It helps, at least, that their issues are complementary. 

"Good." Chris kisses him on the mouth. "Now get me my phone, so I can order us burritos, because you are not cooking. And then you are going to sit here with me and watch a dumb action movie. And then--and then we can figure out how I'm going to shower with this thing on."

His mouth twists on that last part, and Zach can't help but smile. He scratches his fingers along Chris's scalp and then gives the back of his neck a gentle squeeze. "Maybe I can make the shower part worth your while," he says, brushing his mouth against Chris's jaw. "Provided it's safe enough, that is."

"Hmm," Chris hums, clutching the back of Zach's head to keep him there. "In that case, maybe we'll do the shower first."

#wordplay as foreplay #pinto #my writing #ficlet #suedescripture

[jalapeno-princess]

I’ll take care of you

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Fluff and mentions of sex

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Your boyfriend Mark is a nursing student and although he is constantly the one taking care of you, sometimes he needs someone to take care of him too.

A/N: This is a repost because the stupid tags weren’t working. Honestly this is trash but the idea of Mark being a nurse makes my heart (and vagina) beat deadass. Whenever I see all the nurse students at my school it makes me want to switch my major in to nursing because of how intelligent and professional they look (but we all know my dumb ass wouldn’t be able to handle that shit) so if you’re in nursing I give you major props. There are only a few male students in nursing at my school and it made me daydream about Mark as a nurse so here we go.

“Babe have you seen my-“

“On the top shelf in the bathroom.”

“Okay but what about my-“

“In the drawer, underneath your sweatpants.”

“Shit, I can’t find my-“

“On the desk near my laptop.”

After gathering his things he ran over to you and placed a sloppy kiss on your lips. “Thank you baby. You’re amazing you know that?” You snickered. “I’ve told you multiple times to prepare your things the night before so that you’re not rushing in the morning.” He placed his hands on your cheeks and gently caressed your face. “Now you and I both know why I never prepare things the night before. I’m too busy with my head between those beautiful thighs…OW.” You playfully shoved him off of you and walked over to the kitchen.

“What time will you be home tonight?” He started putting on his shoes as you handed him his lunch. “Well after school, I have to go to the hospital for a couple of hours. So maybe 8 at the latest? You have class at 10 right?” You nodded. He pulled you in to his arms and placed gentle kisses along your jaw. “I love you so much. I don’t think I thank you enough for all that you do for me.” You snickered while brushing some hair out of his eyes.

“Don’t worry, you do. In more ways than one. You better get going before I bring you back in to the room and continue what we started last night.” He bit his lip and attempted to pull you back in for a kiss but you pushed him away, earning yourself an adorable pout from your boyfriend. “Baaaaabeeee, come on. One more kiss for your favorite med student. I already know that I’m gonna have a shitty day. Your love and affection is what keeps me going.” You let out a long sigh before placing your lips against his. “Now go. I don’t want you being late because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. I’ll see you later. Have a nice day. I love you.” He playfully squeezed your butt and ran out the door before you could retaliate.

There were many perks that came with dating a med student. Your boyfriend was very overprotective over you. Especially since you were very clumsy and found yourself getting hurt at least three times a week. But he was always so quick to want to patch you up. One night, you accidentally cut your finger while preparing dinner for the two of you and Mark immediately brought you to the bathroom. He sat you on the sink and rubbed alcohol on your wound. “My clumsy girl. We run out of bandaids very quickly because of you.” He chuckled while placing a chaste kiss on your lips. When you caught the flu a few months ago, he never left your side. He made sure to pick up all the antibiotics you needed and he bought you the food your doctor had recommended that you eat.

Sometimes, you would forget to bring pain killers for when you’d get headaches at school. However, Mark would always have a bottle with him. So whenever you’d ask him for ibuprofen, no matter where you were on campus, he’d drop whatever he was doing and made his way to you. The thought of how much he loved and cared for you set fire to your bones. Mark was very patient and nurturing. He knows how much you hate getting your period. So when it was that time of the month, Mark would always do what he could to lessen the pain. Plus, he was ten times more cuddly while you were menstruating. The only problem you had with dating a nurse, was how he would prevent you from doing certain things because he considered it “bad for your health”.

When Mother Nature decides it was time to give you your gift, you would buy some ice cream and chocolate to treat yourself during that frustrating week. However, Mark would constantly nag you about how sugar would only make your cramps worse and slow down your metabolism. But your boyfriend knew not to mess with you when it came down to your sweets, so he stopped hounding you about it. Sometimes, you would get frustrated with his smart talk because you had no clue what he was saying, but then you’d find it sexy because of how intelligent he sounded.

Dating Mark was an actual dream. You’ve known each other since kindergarten, when he gave you his chocolate chip cookie after he found you crying because you dropped yours in the sandbox. From then on, the two of you were inseparable and it was only a matter of time that you both ended up together. You had developed feelings for Mark in the 8th grade when you realized how he took such great care of you and how he was willing to do any and everything for you. However, you didn’t think he felt the same.  He never showed much interest in you and whenever his friends would bring you up, he’d tell them that the both of you were just friends.

But you couldn’t have been more wrong. The boy was madly in love with you, but too afraid to confess his feelings for you in case you didn’t see him that way. He didn’t want to lose you. It wasn’t until he heard his friend Bambam talking to their other friend Yugyeom about confessing his feelings for you that he found the confidence to go up and tell you how he felt. “Don’t date Bambam.” You looked at him in confusion, but before you could ask him what he meant by that, his lips were on yours. Even if the two of you have been dating for over 5 years, it was as if you both were still in the honeymoon phase. He loved you with his entire being and you felt the same way about him. The two of you were attached by the hip. Wherever you went, he followed and vice versa. Mark has never told you this in fear of seeming too cheesy, but he knew the two of you were soulmates. His heart yearned for you and he knew you felt the same way.

From a very young age, Mark knew he wanted to be something that would help others. Therefore, you weren’t surprised to hear that he was planning on going in to nursing. Neither was he surprised when you decided to go in to teaching, knowing how much you love working with kids. As much as education was a difficult major, you knew your boyfriend had it worse. There were nights where he would cry because of how frustrated he was with all his homework and how mean some doctors were to him during clinicals. He found himself wanting to give up multiple times, but you never let him. You knew how badly he wanted to become a nurse and how hard he worked in order to get accepted in to nursing school. Each night he came home after school, you tried your best to take care of him and keep his mind off of how hard it was. Even if that mean bringing him to his release without filling yours. But you didn’t care, he was always very generous to you during sex when he was having better days.

This entire week for him was rough. People were getting kicked out of the program if the professors didn’t feel that they were good enough and this caused Mark to go in to a frenzy. He worked so hard to get to this point and he was afraid it was all going to go to waste if his professors decided they were going to cut him from the program. You were sitting in the library when your phone started going off.

My Love😍🥰♥️: Baby, where are you?

My Love😍🥰♥️: I need you☹️

My Love😍🥰♥️: Will you hold me please? I’m about to cry right now.

His texts made your heart sink and you wondered what had happened. What could be so bad that he was on the verge of tears? When he found you, he immediately ran in to your arms and started sobbing. You tried your best in consoling him while running your fingers through his hair. “We had..clinicals today and..one of the doctors said..fuck..” you held him tighter and waited for him to calm down before telling you the rest of the story. After a few minutes, the crying slowly stopped and he placed his face in your chest. “One of the doctors mentioned that maybe I’m in the wrong field and that nursing might not be for me. I don’t even see what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do. My grades are some of the highest in the class. I always go to every single clinical and I attend every single lecture y/n. Hell, I even volunteer at other hospitals on top of the internship so what am I doing wrong?”

You placed a soft kiss against his cheek and sighed. “You’re not doing anything wrong baby. You’re doing the best you can. That doctor is an ass and he probably is jealous that you’re so young, smart and not to mention extremely good looking whereas he’s probably old, wrinkly and on the verge of retirement. Don’t let people like that get to you babe. Somebody was probably just as hard on him when he was going through school as he is being with you. I’m sure he sees something in you that he doesn’t see in the other students and by telling you that, it’ll make you want to work harder. He wouldn’t be wasting his time scolding you if he didn’t think you were serious about becoming a nurse. So don’t beat yourself up about it okay? You said so yourself, you have some of the best grades in your class and I remember you telling me how your professor even wrote a letter of recommendation for you. So hang in there bub. By the time you graduate and become a certified nurse, all the late nights and the constant tears will be worth it.”

He looked up at you with a sad smile and slowly brought his lips to yours. “I love you so much y/n. I don’t know what I would do without you. You mean everything to me. Thank you baby. I feel a whole lot better now.” He released an exasperated sigh and ran his fingers through your hair. “I have one more class, did you wanna wait for me and maybe get dinner afterwards? If not, I can meet you back at home.” You shook your head. “I can wait for you. Matter a fact, I’ll go get us some coffee. Now go. Text me if you need to okay?” He placed a few more kisses on your lips before leaving. Before you could finish packing up your things, you heard his sneakers screeching across the floor. “Forgot my stethoscope. See you in an hour baby! I love you!”

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark #mark tuan got7 #Can we just imagine nurse mark #ugh #I would purposefully get sick all the time so he could nurse me back to help #im so soft for boyfriend mark #@ god pls #im so deserving #I need me a boyfriend like mark #he would probably care so much about your health and well being deadass

[salamandrinanana]

Two weeks into quarantine

Well, plus 3 days now. Took me a bit of time to get on my laptop without anyone looking over my shoulder constantly. 

Quarantine started for me with not physically being able to leave the house for a few days. I never expected those planned “few days” to turn into two weeks, but then on day 2 it was announced that all universities were going to close the next day, which was quite a shock to me. I didn’t expext for things to change that quickly and I don’t know how long things will stay this way. Here’s a bit about how those two weeks have been, who knows how many will follow:

- I’ve been outside for 2 hours max. in these two weeks. Felt oddly reassuring to see that my town hasn’t changed at all. First time out was on day 8 or 9.

- Stayed awake for 39 hours at the beginning of it all. Not fun. And not by choice. I was in too much pain to relax. Got myself dosed up on ibuprofen and slept for 12 hours straight.

- I had exactly one online class. I hated it. Felt really weird and I kept losing focus. Also: group discussions don’t work when you’re thrown in a seperate chatroom thing and your random group members are all afraid of turning on their mic so nothing ends up happening.

- Apart from that online class I haven’t done shit for uni. Can’t focus at home with my brother working in his bedroom a.k.a. constantly calling people and my mother watching TV downstairs when she isn’t at work.

- I’m now in week 1 of 3 of what was supposed to be my official exam period with midterms and shit. I’ve got 3 exams that are going on as normal, because I had to do those at home anyway and there’s one that’s going to be changed a bit so you can do it at home. We’re only going to get 2 hours for that though, normal time for the exam, which absolutely sucks. For the others I have 2 weeks.

- I actually started writing a story. Me. Writing. Never thought I’d get to that point. Progress is really slow, I’m only 2.5k words in and there are lots of details I’m still unsure about and I have no idea wtf is supposed to happen in it yet, but hey I’m writing. It’s about a girl discovering she has superpowers. It’s terrible. She finds out when she tries to kill herself about 500 words in. Yikes why is my brain like this. Oh right because I’m an idiot and my childhood wish of being able to fly has come back to haunt me and I’m telling myself to never try to commit suicide. Writing this is a bit of a weird way of doing it though.

- I also tried digital drawing on this Autodesk SketchBook app. I sort of finished my drawing and it kind of looks how I wanted it to, but I am never going to try that again. Three days of endless fucking pain and getting cramps in my fingers.

- My random obsession with the Chernobyl disaster is back. I’ve spent a lot of time on YouTube watching “stalkers” illegally entering the exclusion zone and staying there for a few days. Fascinating stuff. Would never dare to go there myself.

- I went back to one of those game sites for children that I used to spend hours on as a kid. Because fuck it. (Logical combo of course: Chernobyl and dress-up games; that shit happened on the same day.)

- Looks like I haven’t lost my ability to recognise a Depeche Mode song in 0.4s in the SongPop app.

I’m also pretty good at recognising Neubauten, though they’re kinda hard to find in the game.

- Witnessed Blixa Bargeld making broccoli soup. Possibly the best hour in the whole of these two weeks. He danced!!! 

- Got a phone call from my university's study abroad coordinator. Was told that none of the universities I wanted to go to (Glasgow, Brighton and Manchester) were possible for me. Which is a rare thing, that none of your choices work out; of course that shit happens to me, I seem to be a magnet for bad luck! I somehow managed to keep it together while on the phone, but I was ready to scream or cry. Not sure which. Both have not happened yet but still possible. Now I'm looking into the other options she gave me. Will probably end up going to Leeds. If it's even possible to go anywhere by that time with this whole corona bullshit situation. Well, at least I haven't been rejected...

- Ready to kill my mother and brother because they will never understand how goddamn terrified I am of phone calls. They always think I'm stupid and exaggerating, while they haven't felt my heart pounding in my chest whenever my phone rings. I'm always scared of not knowing what to say. When it's an unknown number it's even worse, having absolutely no idea of what to expect.

- Finally watching series 7 of Endeavour on a Belgian TV channel. 

And, last but not least:

- The VHS Tapes Adventure

I found a big shopping bag full of VHS tapes and dragged out the old VCR. Six of the tapes contained footage of tiny ass kid me and my brother, who’s two years older than me.

I had never seen these tapes before, so it was a bit overwhelming. I had no idea we had footage that actually included sound! All the stuff I had seen before was made with a crappy camera with no sound.

I saw myself when I was less than a day old. I saw myself walk at 10 months. I heard myself slowly learning how to talk. I saw myself in one of those typical “child tries something new to drink and is totally amazed by it” moments, drinking coca cola and immediately demanding more. I saw my now dead grandmother, holding me, playing with me, and I heard her voice again. I cried.

God, it was so overwhelming; and it was weird to actually use a VCR again, last time I did that was over 10 years ago. I had one fuck-up though followed by a bit of a panic attack. I think the VHS went in at a slightly wrong angle, there was lots of noise and then it came out with some tape sticking out of it. God I was terrified, I had never experienced that before and we don’t have backups of any of that childhood footage. I ran to my mum and cried like a baby. She fixed it and was not really worried.

Also, I was left slightly pissed off. I witnessed all of my brother’s birthday parties, starting with his first, but the only birthday party I saw that was for me was when I turned four. Also, there’s a lot more footage of my brother in general. And I know it’s completely stupid, and I get that it was different with my brother because he was the first child, but it still makes me feel bad. 

.

.

.

I know there probably won’t be anyone reading this, or getting this far, and I know all of this is not relevant to you even in the slightest, but it feels good to write stuff and share it somewhere at least in the knowledge that someone out there might read this and possibly care? We're in a weird situation right now and I don't really have anyone to talk to. I only speak to other students (I don't really dare to call them friends - we just sort of talk when we see each other but not really outside of that) when I see them in person, so I have not been in contact with them at all these past weeks. This is the only place where I can share stuff now, also because this is the only social media account none of my family are aware of. And it’s really good to have something away from them so that I don’t have to feel embarrassed.

#personal stuff #sort of diary thingy I guess

[tittty-bitty]

Aizawa starts rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. Being able to sleep everywhere had its ups and downs, kinks in his neck is definitely a down. Three hours into school working at his office computer and he’s thinking about snapping his neck to get it over with.

“Everything all right?”

Shota turns around to see the former symbol of peace looking down at him with concern. Just getting out of his class with 2-B.

“Ya just a kink in my neck. Nothing to worry about.”

“Alright. I hope it feels better soon.”

Yagi goes to his own desk to get ready for the emails for the day. Shota turns and tries to continue his work. Every two minutes he tries to re-adjust his posture to help relief his discomfort but after 20 minutes he’s getting frustrated. It’s going to be especially annoying with the class 2-A covering some more advance self defense and him having to demonstrate.

He hates asking for help but he’s getting desperate.

“Hey, do you have some ibuprofen or something.” He figures with Yagi’s injuries he probably has some pain killers on him.

“Unfortunately not. I have to refill my pain reliever percriptions and they would probably be to strong for you to teach anyways with no previous tolerance. I use to have extras but Midnight used the last of them.”

A simple no would of worked but he’s use to Yagi’s tendency to add unnessesary info.

“It’s fine. I’ll run by recovery girls after class.”

He tried stretching his neck so his ear reached his shoulder. It was clear that it wasn’t a good idea if his yelp of pain was anything to go by.

“Ah! Shit.”

He rubs the tender area again. Accepting his fate. Until a voice that was definitely closer than before spoke up softly.

“If you want. I can try to uh help. If your fine with that.”

Shota rotates his chair to look up at Yagi again. Clearly looking nervous at providing physical relief.

“I took a physical therapy class in university. It was a beginner class and it was a long time ago. But I think I may be able to help.”

Shota looked around and saw no one else was in the room. It’s not like the older teacher is offering a blowjob or anything, but walking in on a teacher massaging another teachers neck would definitely be a concerning sight to say the least. But he was desperate and he wanted to show Yagi that they were friends and he was ready to take the next step to their weird friendship.

“Ya sure. But I do have class in 10 minutes.”

Yagi beams. “I’ll be sure to be efficient.”

Shota turns his back to his coworker and braces for his touch. He’s about to ask him if he’s gonna do it until he feels a large hand cupping the back of his neck. Squeezing and pulling up to the back of his skull.

“Sorry. It’s just that my hands are to big to use both of my hands on you. I hope this works-“

“It’s fine.”

It took a lot of will power for Shota not to groan the reply. As Yagi’s thumb and pointer finger move up and down trying to smooth out his muscles. While probably not the most common Technique he isn’t going to complain.

As they both got comfortable with the contact, Yagi got bold enough to place his other hand on Aizawas shoulder so he had more leverage to drag the squeeze up. Probably unnessesary from the amount of strength in Yagi’s hands despite the loss of his power, but it brought it to an angle that it made Shotas breathing a lot more heavy.

He can’t help but wonder what else those hands can do. How else they would feel on them, feeling out his body. He couldn’t imagine how his grip would feel somewhere else on his body. He probably shouldn’t be having these thoughts of someone he’s just starting to actually become friends with.

He loses his train of thought as the hand wraps around the back of his neck. The pad of a finger and a thumb pushing on a pair of nerves behind his jaw to force Aizawa to look up.

“Little spaced out there arnt we? I would continue but someone has class in 5 minutes.”

Despite the fact Yagi just stated, he still has a light grip on the back of his neck. Shota was a little to dazed and a little startled to respond.

“Does it feel better?” He looks down at him with a smile that Shota can’t really place. It’s for sure not shy by any means.

“....yes”

“Good”

With a last squeeze to Shota’s neck, Yagi’s hand and whatever weird tension that just happened left Shota. Yagi walks to the door.

“Hope class goes well today.”

Shota has to sit in his chair for 30 seconds to figure out if that was intentional or just Shota being crazy but still. What the fuck?

#erasermight #I wanted to add more with Shota messing with Toshi for revenge but for the life of me I can’t figure out how

[chelsorz07]

21 year old me was a little bitch

So is 28 year old me. Got another one for y’all. 2010/2017.

Are you cheating on someone right now? no. never have, never will. Still haven’t, still wouldn’t.

Day been rough? nope. it's been a good weekend. i'm just tired. Yeah actually, I spent most of it in bed sick.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? the bed in my hotel room. The cats’ bed. Yes, they have their own full size bed. And yes, I sleep there with them sometimes.

Would you kill a hobo for 100,000,000 dollars? if i could avoid the repercussions of homicide, sure. I would kill anyone for a hundred million dollars.

What makes you laugh no matter what? "wang whiplash" lol Memes. 

Have you done bad things with your parents near by? sure. Yeah but in hindsight not that bad. Just like, smoking cigarettes on the roof.

Do you think your future will be a good one? we'll see. Some days I have hope, some days I’m not sure I’ll see tomorrow.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? no. things may be starting to look up. Not leave but if I could bring my life back home to PA with me that’d be optimal.

Will your next kiss be a mistake? hopefully not. No.

What were you doing 12 AM last night? hanging in the hotel with my mom. watching a halloween special on HGTV. Watching TWD.

What does your ex mean to you? everything. He’s still my best friend, even after all the shit we’ve been through.

Honestly, who are you texting? no one. i'm gonna go to sleep after i'm done here. Everybody’s sleeping.

How late did you stay up last night and why? 2ish. that's early for me. i had a couple glasses of wine and actually slept more than an hour for once. 9am.

What if your boyfriend or girlfriend went through your phone? i don't have a boyfriend. Husband now. And I don’t care. Although I doubt he’d feel the same if the situation were reversed.

Are you angry with someone right now? no one in particular. Not really I just still feel crappy.

Do you have sex everyday? i wish. Funny. I’ve had sex four times all year. Once in January, once in February, and twice two weeks ago.

Do you do drugs everyday? nope. No days. Unless a steady stream of Aleve, ibuprofen, heartburn medicine, and Sudafed counts.

Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours? probably maranda. I have not.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? no. we still hang out. We try to hang out every time I’m home. If not, I’ll at least visit him at work.

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? sometimes. Fuck no she’s my ride or die.

If you are up after 3 am, what are you most likely doing? trying to sleep. this happens every night. Sudoku, Netflix, and Youtube.

Does anyone call you baby? yeah but i wish he wouldn't. i'm not his girlfriend. and i'm sure as hell not his baby. Um no. We’re not a “pet name” couple. I call him Dick and he calls me “hey”.

Your latest ex calls you and asks you back out, you say? i thought you'd never ask. Sorry, taken.

Do you think you'll be single for the rest of the year? probably. I haven’t been single in a very long time.

Be honest, do you have feelings towards anyone? yep. You betcha.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? michele and erica. Amanda. And more recently, Faith.

Has anyone ever drunk/high called/texted you? sure. it goes both ways. Many times.

Is there a guy that knows everything about you? yes. Two or three. Dave, Mike, my dad. Maybe Mark (my brother-in-law).

Have you ever liked someone just because they were good looking? well yeah. who hasn't? but if there's nothing deeper, it doesn't work out. I can appreciate some human beauty.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for over 6 months? i have. Over 8 years. Despite the fact that we weren’t technically together the first time I took this quiz, we decided that those 18 months didn’t count because we still spent every day together anyway and knew we’d end up here.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn't? understatement. Yeah but I got them back.

You love someone? indeed. I love a lot of someones.

You've had sex with over 12 people, haven't you? nope. two. and one of them, i shouldn't have. That number is the same. But the second one - a subpar one night stand in a Dodge Ram? Bleh. We don’t think about it.

Was 2009 a good year? best year of my life. It was quite good.

Do you think 2010 will top 2009? worst year of my life. 2010 sucked. 2017 has been a roller coaster.

Will you be dating someone in six months? i don't have a crystal ball. Married.

Who is the last person you physically hit? my mom, but jokingly. I don’t hit people.

Do you plan on getting married someday? i would if it were to the right person. I am.

Which is harder: walking away from somebody you love or coming back to someone who hurt you? walking away. hands down. Walking away. Never could.

Did you sleep alone last night? well my mom was in the room too. Yeah Dave won’t be home for a couple more days.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? in VERY rare cases. I mean I was 19 when I fell in love and still am.

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? of course. Yeah but I don’t anymore. Not really that into cookies. 

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? several times. I didn’t even go to sleep until late morning. And yes, I woke up a lot. I do that.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh? not a chance. Hell no. I need the lulz to survive.

What's the biggest annoyance in your life right now? having to be patient even though i know things will work out eventually. My physical ailments and my location. And the fact that my tv is a piece of shit so I have to keep turning it off and on just to get sound.

Are you a patient person? no. but i have to be. obviously. Not even a little.

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? i don't think it would have made a difference, to be honest. I wouldn’t have let things get so bad with my family. And Dave and I would’ve gotten married at the courthouse instead of having a big wedding because it was a disaster.

What are you looking forward to in the next 7 days? friday. Dave coming back, getting Primanti’s, and going home this weekend.

Is it easy for you to talk to people of the opposite sex? yeah, now it is. It’s not really easy for me to talk to any people, unless they’re an important part of my life.

Did the last person you kissed name start with a B? no. Negative. 

Do you stay up later than ten o'clock on a week night? i haven't been to sleep that early in like ten years. I don’t go to bed at night anymore. Like ever.

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? no. I’m 5′6″.

Are you one of those people who just don't care? ohhh...i try to claim that i don't. but it's not true. Hahaha alright that’s still the case.

When was the last time you laughed hard and why? wang whiplash. Memes.

Are you generally a happy person? not lately. No I’m a miserable cunt.

Whats on your shirt? hey monday. The Horde crest from WoW.

Where will you be in an hour? here. sleeping. Probably right in this very chair.

Who was the first person you talked to today? mom. I haven’t talked to anyone today.

How do you feel right now? tired. In pain. 

Had sex at school? nope. I didn’t even have sex for the first time until long after I graduated.

Who was the last girl you talked to? mom. Amanda.

When’s the last time you talked to your sister? like 20 minutes. Allie, probably a couple weeks ago. Mandi, couldn’t tell ya. Even when we’re in the same room we don’t speak.

Do you regret something you did today? no. I regret doing nothing today. But I couldn’t really move.

Do you miss someone? yes. I miss everyone. Dave when he’s gone, my family, my friends, my home. I just want to go back.

Will this Sunday be a good one? if i can take a nap, yeah. I’ll be in Bradford so yes.

Are you keeping a big secret right now? i don't have any secrets. Still an open book.

The past 72 hours have you been under the influence? yes. Nope. Don’t drink anymore.

What was the last thing you drank? dew. Water.

Have you ever had a panic attack? many. More than I can count. But I haven’t had one in a while.

Have your parents ever smoked pot? my dad did once. my mom never did. Same.

Want someone back in your life? like you would not believe. The people I want in my life are in it, they’re just too far away.

What's your favorite color? green. Green, black, grey, plaid.

Do you listen to music every day? i have to. it keeps me sane. Usually but I haven’t today. Didn’t have the energy to play anything.

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? sad, mostly. angry if i think too hard. happy? well, we'll see. All of the above, and then some.

Are you an emotional person? very. Yessir.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies? he still does. every day. i don't even have to see him. Yes.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? yeahh.. Often.

When is the next time you will see the person you last kissed? probably never. i'm fine with that. Possibly Wednesday night, definitely sometime Thursday.

Have any memories that you'd like to forget? no. Oh yeah.

#not spn #personal #about me #bring back myspace surveys 2k17 #i do what i want

[aprillikesthings]

Today at work:

We had the farmer’s market across the street, which always makes traffic a clusterfuck and we get a lot more visitors. 

A charter school that works with some of our residents hosted their 8th-grade promotional thing (like a graduation but not actually a graduation??) in a big room we rent out

As I posted earlier, one of the residents was convinced that someone was late to pick her up, and then that they had forgotten, and they were agitated and kept asking me to do something about it. (They didn’t even have an appointment today, as their own daughter pointed out later. “Huh, I wonder how I got that mixed up?” Gee I dunno, but you do this once a week. At least their kid knows this is happening--we deal with a lot of families who insist their parents don’t need to be moved to a higher level of care because “She’s just fine with us!” Yes, and people are always a little better around familiar faces. You try dealing with someone who comes to your desk over and over in the middle of the day to ask the same question, because every time they walk away they forget you already had a conversation about it. (That was a different resident a few months ago. It was incredibly frustrating.))

The UPS guy was late and I didn’t have a chance to label the packages and call for them until nearly 8pm (I usually get it done by three or four at the latest)

Someone in independent living called 911 and my phones lit up and I forgot we had two people with the same first and last name and sent our facilities people to the wrong apartment at first (it wasn’t crucial but I still felt shitty about it)

Just....a lot of phone calls today, and questions from residents about thing I didn’t know how to answer (why, oh why, does the facilities manager not email ALL of us when there’s a memo that goes to the residents? I had no idea the gas was going to be out on the 22nd and looked like an idiot). 

When I went on lunch, the person in front of me took FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO ORDER A PIZZA. WHY. (I only get half-hour breaks and I was starving to boot.)

“Did you know the trash chutes won’t open?” Yes. Yes I did. No I don’t know when it’ll be fixed. Facilities is working on it, and I know because I heard them talking about all the things they’d tried so far. 

TO TOP OF IT ALL OFF I have had a headache all day, and I took two excedrine, and I still had a headache, I was just jittery af on top of it, and when they wore off I couldn’t take more ‘cause otherwise I’ll never sleep tonight. (I took ibuprofen when I got home, which was a significant improvement.)

OH BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE like 45 minutes before I was supposed to clock out, a resident (who was already getting really forgetful) comes down asking where [name of our building, that we were in] was. “I need to get to [name of building].” “You’re in it.” “What? I don’t have my hearing aid in.” 

I literally walked him to the elevator and up to his floor and his unit (which I never do, but my coworker was already at the desk--just not on the clock) and he didn’t recognize his own apartment. “Is this the way out?” “No, this is your apartment.” I try to get him to stay and run back downstairs and get facilities on the radio. We call my manager who says we should call 911 (he doesn’t have diagnosed memory issues, and it turns out he’d already had to be walked back to his apartment four times today). We do....and the resident comes back down wondering where [our building] is again. He tries to leave and we talk him into staying in the lobby. He tells me (god, this is heartbreaking) that “a lady took me to some place upstairs just now, and the room had a bunch of old pictures of me!” The lady is me. The room full of old pictures of himself is his own apartment. 

The EMT’s convince him he should go to the hospital. They can’t force him, so this takes some doing. “I just need to get back to [our building].” “Sir, you’re in [our building], and you don’t recognize it, so you need to see a doctor.” I think he finally went only because he was confused and figured they must know better than he did. 

Keep in mind that, because he wasn’t wearing his hearing aid, every conversation was held via shouting and enunciating as clearly as possible, to which he frequently replied, “What? I don’t have my hearing aid in.”

And then because facilities management are fucking idiots (the actual workers are usually fine; but god the management is shitty) I had to write out two incident reports BY HAND--that said the exact same thing I’d already emailed to my own manager, just with lots of scratch-outs and less detail, because I fucking hate writing shit out by hand. UGH. 

....ANYWAY. Now I’m home. And I should probably just smoke a bunch of weed and go to bed early but I think I’m gonna try poking tumblr and writing a little and THEN smoking some weed and going to bed. Though “early” for me is still 2am. Last night I went to bed at nearly 5am. (It’s 11pm at the moment.)

MAN I feel better typing that all out. Shit. 

#my life

[sini-sterility]

Y’all finally get my backstory now.

@weaponizedhorse I FINISHED FINALLY

Alright motherfuckers, you asked for it; you're gonna fucking get it. You've finally unlocked Sini's tragic backstory.

Let's begin with the childhood depression due to intense emotion abuse and manipulation, causing me to try to kill myself, not once, but twice before the age of ten. However, it seems that my body liked the idea, because within two months of turning ten, my legs began to go numb, and I would experience random pain. I told the nurse at school; she didn't believe me. Stir this mixture of reckless negligence and bitchy old-lady nurse until two years have passed, and I am now completely paralyzed in constant literal agony 24/7, to the extent of not being able to sleep, stand, sit, lounge; you name it.

I wasn't nauseus, but the pain was so horrible that I would fake getting sick every day in order to stay home and not face the ridicule the least liked person in my entire school (I am honestly not exagerrating. I got into my school's spelling bee, and was the last 6th grader standing. They called your name, you stood up, waved to the crowd, and they cheered. They got to me, and I shit you not, less than 1/5th of the 6th grade class, none of the other students, and three teachers clapped, and that was as good as I got. Maybe I was annoying or something, I don't know. I was a very, very quiet kid, so I actually don't know what their deal was; there were much uglier people there than me, too) would get from acting like they can't feel their limbs or stand up, or be constantly hunched over in pain.

So I'd stay home with my dad and watch old cowboy shows, trying to ignore the pain. I remember how we treated it was Icy-Hot and a fuck-ton of Ibuprofen.

Eventually, my bullshit quack of a doctor finally clued in that, no, I was not just suffering from a particularly bad UTI. She actually fucking told us that I had a UTI. Because UTI's are reknown for causing pain so bad you literally can't think straight.

So, one day, a week after my 12th birthday (which was the saddest shit you've ever heard of; my mom made my favorite cake and my favorite food (Flan Cake and Chicken Curry), my Godmother was there with a bunch of books, I had a few really cool presents; my sister Shirley even got me a hair straightener at Goodwill, because I'd finally learned that thick curly hair with the mind of it's own (that mind being one of a psychopath) didn't stand a chance against hot iron. They sang happy birthday to me, and I remember that after they finished, I just put my head down on the table in cried. It was the single saddest moment of my life, aside from April (which is another can of worms all together, and very few people know about it).

Anyway, a few days after my mom took me to the doctor, and at this point I had given up on trying to present any semblence of an ability to walk or feel anything at all, so I was in a wheelchair. The doctor saw how much pain I was in (fucking finally), and that I truly felt no sensation anywhere, and immediately sent me to a Neurologist in Indy.

We got there an hour later, and the Neurologist took one look and ordered an emergency MRI – that turned out to be a very traumatizing experience, as the even more amplified pain (metal + back issues of the highest caliber + loud noises + bright flashing lights = Literal torture. To this day I can't go in MRI machines without being knocked out (But I secretly love it because I get to play a little game I like to call 'Resist'. It's basically the game they have you do where you count up to or down from 100, only you ask the Anesthesiologist to push the anesthetic in as slowly as possible, and start counting. When you start to feel it kicking in, you count as fast as possible. My record is 128 bitches <3).

They were only able to get 15 minutes of an MRI with me, before the panic and pain were too much for me and I started convulsing. After that, they checked me into the hospital overnight while they went over the results.

You know that shit's bad when the next day the ICU Oncologist comes in at 7 am the next morning to tell your mom that you need emergency surgery right away, but don't tell you why.

It turned out that I had stage 4 (better known as terminal) Neuroblastoma. There were three main problematic tumors; one that was slung over my left shoulder and attached to the upper left lobe of my lung (bigass motherfucker holy shit it was enormous. They had to cut out a piece of my lung to get ride of (most) it.), one the size of a softball pressing on my brain, just above the temple (They drilled my skull open, and scooped it off my scalp like a blob of strawberry preserves, which is what it looks like anyway btw. They were nice enough to honor a request I made, and take a picture of the tumor. BUT THEY DIDN'T FUCKING SEND IT TO ME, THEY SENT IT TO MY DAD VIA TEXT, AND WE ENDED UP LOSING THE DAMN THING >:O), and then the worst one; the mac daddy of Neuroblastoma tumors.

It was a long, thick, malignant tumor that had infused itself with my spine, and was subsequently cutting off my spinal cord – thus causing all of the pain and the paralysis and numbness. It gave me a hella sweet scar though, shit looks like a zipper along my spine!

After they removed what they could of the spinal tumor (which still to this day causes me a great deal of pain. I'm on 10 mgs of Oxycodine up to 6 times a day, and more often than not I need 7 pills in one day.), they told my parents that I had maybe two months to live. That they were going to send me home with them with a car full of all the medical supplies they could spare us, and that I was going to be very dead, very soon.

Needless to say, everyone was shocked when the third month rolled around and I was still alive – and learning how to walk again. It's taken me 6 years to be able to walk up and down stairs, and depending on the treatment or how long they keep me in the hospital, I occasionally still need my walker. (Sparkly red thing with little stickers all over it. I think we gave it to my grandma, but I'm not sure?) They upped my prognosis to 6 months and then it would be all over, but by then Obamacare went into effect, and that got the ball rolling for CHIPS, and that little thing that so many Americans hate because they “don't want to pay for a stranger's abortions!” (actual reason I was given once. I know that there are real reasons, but I still am okay with paying a little bit extra each month so that another kid who's like I was six years ago today, might have a chance to beat the odds in an overwhelming way. Again, that's just me, and I'm probably over simplifying the matter.), is most likely the main reason I'm still alive.

See, because I was accepted into two (or maybe three, I'm not sure?) forms of health insurance because of the Obamacare plan, I was able to begin treatments within almost a month of diagnosis. After four months passed, they began to fit and train me to use a wheelchair at home, as it was an impossibility that I would ever walk again (or use fine motor control for that matter).

Two months after that, just six months after being told I was already dead; six months of hellish PT and OT; six months of taking chemo and painkillers and throwing up blood – and I fucking walked out of that God forsaken hospital with my walker and my family.

That was six years ago. My body is still healing, and I've had plenty of physical and psychological horrors since ( ie. Kathleen aka 'The ex that raped me last year', my mother becoming even more abusive towards me, to the point of egging me on in cutting myself, and losing most of my cats because they were outdoor and we weren't around enough for most of them to want to stay, for starters. Fortunately, the one that did stay was my kitty, Alice. She moved into my current house with my dad and I after my dad won sole custody of me during their divorce (those two NEVER should have gotten married, they hate each other so fucking much.), and she's been a driving force in my will to live and fight ever since. The week she went missing was the most miserable week of my life.) the beginning, but I've got something I never had as a child now; a will to live. A reason to live. It's honestly the reason I still believe in God, as twisted as that sounds. I had actually been begging God to just kill me and get it over with in the weeks leading up to my diagnosis, and though it seems like being told you have terminal (which, just incase some of you guys don't know this, does not actually mean that you're totally deadsies; it means that there are no approved treatments or treatments that are proven to be effective, so you have the two options of going home or staying in the hospital while they make you as comfortable as possible as you wait to die a slow, horrible death of cancer; or you subject yourself to potentially deadly, painful, and horrible experimental trials to try and find a cure for yourself and others like you. Guess which one I picked! Ahh, the stories I could tell you... I'd be willing to write another one of these if anyone is interested in my hospital horror stories.) cancer would be your answer in the affirmatory. But for some reason, that's not how I took it. I took it as a sign that I'm supposed to live, at least for as long as I'm needed to do something to make the world better. It sounds crazy; superstitious; egomaniacal to say this, but when I think about everything I've been through, the multiple attempts at killing myself yet living through each time, and the overwhelming feeling I got when I was told I was as good as dead, but I honestly feel like I'm supposed to do something big, even mildly so. I don't know what, but that thought drives me every day to quite literally be that change that I want to see in the world.

I haven't made a suicide attempt ever since diagnosis; I rarely try or succeed to hurt myself anymore, and when I get in that state, my first move is to call up my sister Lilly, or talk to @typical-atheist-scumbag, or even talk to my dad nowadays, rather than just go ahead and grab a razor blade. I'm entirely about absolution and forgiveness as long as a person is genuine, and I try to be as passive and understanding – yet not quite neutral – to other people's beliefs as I possible can be. I stretch myself thin trying to help other people, but I honestly feel all the better for it.

This lovely little “inspirational” (*eyes roll into the back of my head*) piece isn't even half of it, but it's the major stuff. I included that bit at the end to show that even though I've had a pretty bullshit lot in life, I absolutely refuse to let it kick me down.

You may laugh at how stupid and pretentious I sound now.

#inspirational #Sini's Backstory #Cancer #Neuroblastoma #Religion #Religious #Christian #Lutheran #Self harm #Self-Harm #tw #abuse #rape #mental abuse #mental disorder #terminal cancer

[ecotone99]

[SP] Stranger in the Room

Three o’clock in the goddamn morning. As if waking up in a cold sweat gasping for air wasn’t enough, those fucking birds were already at it. “Chirp, chirp. Squawk, squawk. I have no idea that I am ruining the sleep of literally...tens of people,” Laney whispered to herself, hoping that the birds outside would hear. Stupid birds... Honestly. What did they have to say that was so goddamned important? Had she been sitting on the front porch, sipping on a glass of Cab and watching the dogs chase rabbits in the backyard, she would have found the melodic chirps of her fair-feathered neighbors tranquil and soothing. For a quick moment, fragments of a memory raced through her mind. Her memory may have been a bit fuzzy now and again, but for a split second, she felt her lips curl into a smile as she tried to piece together the memory that caused her heart to briefly flutter. But, no. Was this a memory? Or had it just been another dream? All Laney knew was that it was 3:00 in the morning, and despite having just escaped another horrific dream, she valued her sleep. Immediately after waking, Laney felt the early symptoms of a sharp, stabbing pain as it crept from the back of her head, slowly trying its best to escape through her eyes, decimating every nerve in its path. At this point, there was no use in taking anything. Ibuprofen and acetaminophen were a joke. Migraine medicine meant sleeping through all three alarms and being late for work for the eighth time this week. Even in a heavily sedated state, real sleep seemed like a dream. No matter how hard she tried, there seemed to be this never-ending noise in her brain that prevented actual rest. Every waking hour mocked her; she felt as if every conscious moment that ever happened or will happen was happening simultaneously. The resulting noise always played at full volume, reverberating in the back of her mind. It was as clips of her life, past and future, stuck in infinitely vivid loops. She flipped her pillow over in search of the “cool side” and stretched her long legs so that the cool, crisp sheets would soothe her aching body. It was unusually hot in her room. She wanted to take off her tank top and shorts, but now that the headache had begun to shoot through her right eye, the nausea had set in and she began to take intentionally slow breaths. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles. Over and over again, hoping to ground herself enough for another two hours of sleep, but what was the point? With a deep breath, she decided the best course of action was to lose the clothes, get some water, come back to bed, and sleep forever...as long as it was no more than two hours.” Stripping down to her panties, she gulped the water on her nightstand and crawled back into bed, feeling, once again, the fresh crispness of her sheets. Her legs stretched out, searching for Oliver who liked to crawl under the covers and curl into a giant ball of fluff. “Where was he?” she wondered, flailing her legs around in search of his warm body. Nothing. As she sat up to find her dog, the other side of the bed let out a soft snore, which sent the headache shooting through her left eye. Frantically kicking her legs around, searching for the warmth of the furbaby at her feet, she finally felt her foot brush up against his body heat, but it wasn’t furry. It was just--hairy. Quickly plunging her face into the pillow, she stopped flailing about and let out a quiet shriek as her toes felt the warmth of the Stranger under her sheets, The muscles underneath the hair flinched. There appeared to be a human body attached to the hairy leg. It turned over, facing her backside and wrapped the hairy legs around hers. An icy chill ran started at the pain behind her eye and slowly trickled down her spine, freezing every cell into paralysis. Soon, a long, strong arm gently wrapped around her ribcage and pulled her close to him. She heard her muffled shrieks become louder, more noticeable, when she felt his nose nuzzle her as a gentle kiss was placed on the right side of her neck. Some may have found that endearing and romantic. Laney wondered if her lighter and hairspray were within reach, but the panic in her chest was so intense that she couldn’t breathe. The noise in her brain crescendoed, intensifying her headache No. This wasn’t a headache. This was a dream. It had to be. Dream or not, Laney had no recollection of the Big Spoon and as she felt a hardening sensation swelling against her backside, she knew that she must take action. In one swift move she slung her head back as hard as she could and hit that Neck Nuzzler somewhere on his face. “Shit, babe,” said a deeper voice as Laney jumped out of the bed and turned to face him. He was rubbing his upper lip, stroking his beard. Who the fuck is he? What the fuck is going on? If I leap into the air, I wonder if I will fly through the ceiling? Then I would know that I’m dreaming. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember how to ground herself into her present reality. The first thing she noticed was her lamp. Not just a lamp, but the impulse buy lamp that she spent way too much money, justifying the purchase because it came from a thrift store and fit in perfectly with her bedroom decor. Ahhh, next...a queen-sized bed with a yellow, blue, and gray quilt that was perfect for the summer. With her back against the wall, she placed both hands on the cool drywall, allowing herself to physically feel the security of the wall and began to count to ten. She made it to 5 before Beard sat up. In one, swift mood, Laney reached for the lamp. Her lamp. A lamp was as good as any weapon, right? It had worked in some of the 7,000 crime shows that she had watched. Finally, she turned her lamp on, and was overcome with relief that it cut on at all. Surely that meant that this was not a dream. Beard was now sitting up, shirtless, still rubbing his lip, but grinning at her, all the same. Fuck me. Where the fuck did I pick this one up? Laney thought to herself, still utterly confused as to why he was in her bed. Beard seemed to have made himself at home long ago, as she watched him for a second in the dim light of the shitty, thrift store. He turned his head towards her and grinned. That grin, she thought as a warm flood of emotions coursed through her body. Despite feeling like it wanted to explode through her eyeballs, a part of her brain somehow knew that THAT smile brought her happiness. Beard’s grin turned into a smile, displaying a perfect set of teeth and dimples so deep that she saw them through his beard, making its way to his eyes. As that smile lit up his face, suddenly her brain flooded with memories of Beard...wait, her and Beard? Together? “You tryin’ ta kill me, woman?” That stupid smile with those stupid teeth, a brooding and confused Laney thought to herself. No sooner had the thought formed that Beard crawled across the bed to reach for her hand when Laney saw his green eyes sparkle.. She allowed him to take her hand and gently pull her back into bed. Laying her on her back, he gently rolled on top of her, holding himself over her body with his arms. Without another thought, Laney felt her own arms reach up and wrap around his broad, strong shoulders and she stared into his radiant eyes. For a second, it looked as if the light was coming from his eyes, rather than reflecting the light of the Goodwill Lamp. “Nah, not yet, old man,” she snickered. “I’ve got too much emotional energy invested in this.” What the fuck? Where are these words even coming from? I don’t say shit like that! Nevertheless, they rolled off of her tongue and, judging by Beard’s reaction, she apparently said the right thing. With a deep, silly chuckle that only he could pull off, he stretched one leg over her slender body and just stared into her deep blue eyes. Some days, her eyes had the gray-blue hue that made him think of staring at a dark, blue ocean on a cloudy day. Sometimes, they were a soft blue that sparkled with green. Today, they looked of deep, sapphire jewels that seemed to be emanating light, or was it coming from the desk lamp? Every day, her eyes cast a different shade, but as he took in the sight of her, his dimples grew so long and deep that the smile almost made his eyes disappear. God, she hated that smile. She wasn’t quite sure whether or not she hated him. She did, after all, just meet him, and had not convinced herself that it wasn’t a dream. Her guts twisted in knots, and the light coming from his eyes sent a piercing sensation through her own, softly moaning as the pain struck through her left eye. Beard took that moan to mean “lean down and nibble on her ear and caress her face.” He kissed her softly on her neck, and finally made his way down to her bare chest. “Ooh, son. Got gave you that tongue for a damn good reason.” With a breast in his mouth, she felt the tingly vibrations of a chuckle. Before the kissing fest went any further, Laney grabbed his head and kissed it as she looked into his eyes. He stared through hers, causing the piercing sensation to explode through both eyes. Suddenly, she felt cold.

submitted by /u/buy_me_a_milksteak [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/31PaWp2

#Blogger #Story