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cosmictulips · 3 years

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Good time, it's very nice to know you exist 🍵🛶🏰🪔🍯🍯🍯 I'm 18, T, libra sun, leo moon, cap ris. if u could help, that'd be a big thank you

recently I've been feeling kinda shut off from any type of spirituality, universe, can't trust my own mind because i don't want to make things up and go with a lie, not imagination play - a terrible lie to oneself. so, i can only trust others. been asking for a clear sign that i wouldn't doubt for as long as i can remember, and nothing... am i tryna knock on the door that wasn't meant for me? then i don't understand anything. i feel left out of my own life. i try pulling out any advice, but then, my intuition may be just wishful thinking. nothing i ever do comes as i intend. I've let go of logic, of expectations, but it feels like a one way communication. can't remember dreams. locked out of everything and losing hope. i don't think it's a wall i made. i don't want to make up a voice in my head, it is my biggest fear, i want to actually hear one.

so, one question - why am i being unanswered?

pun unintended

thank you in advance, you're very kind.

have a wonderful weekend, and every weekend some good news

Hey Friend =) I truly hope other people see this ask too because I think your ask is very important. so I hope you don’t mind that I kind of get personal with you. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling the exact same way recently. it’s happened when I was first starting out with the Craft -as I like to call it - and it happens from time to time. even now. these past two weeks have been a wreck for me and it really feels like I haven’t been heard by the universe. No, not heard. I’ve been heard. but to me, it feels like I’ve been deemed unworthy.

And especially with divination, reading for myself has always been wrong. which is why I no longer trust reading for myself. and I don’t particularly trust it when people say they read for themselves. because too me, how do you know you’re not lying to yourself? I always, always tell people to be careful because the universe can and WILL tell you what you want to hear. it’s hard approaching divination with a very unbiased, neutral head. and it’s kind of why I’ve fought some people over their readings. people only ever project to others and to the univeres what they want. so if I or you were to tell them otherwise, it’s wrong.

So you’re right to take a step back if it doesn’t feel right to you. and here’s where I’m going to start contradicting myself a little bit here. You need to start trusting yourself. fully, undoubtedly and ruthlessly. trust yourself so much that people almost think you’re full of arrogance. and that’s the key word, almost. Be open minded enough to new ideas and to change the way you think of things. but always, always trust yourself to know what is best for you. Only YOU are going to know the best route to take for yourself.

I started being answered when I started trusting the guidance that was coming in for me. I started to notice the little signs at first. Notice any repeating numbers? colors? any certain phrases you hear too often? read too often? is there an animal or group of animals that tend to show up at odd places? slowly start to take notice of these things. Also, truly dig deep into what you believe in. if you want to get into spirituality, ask yourself why. what is it that you believe that matches that. I got into it because I felt so alone in a church and no one was listening. and for awhile, I was thrown in circles the minute I opened myself up to the universe. but instead of blocking it out, I kept pushing. I kept trying to see the pattern, and I kept trying to change it.

and that could be what’s happening for you. I know you said that you think it’s not a wall you built. but darling, it is. I think it comes from a fear you’re not ready to recognize yet. it could be the fear of the unknown, it could be a fear of failure, but you’ve built a wall.

Spirituality is made for everyone. It’s okay to have blocks, to doubt your abilities and be unsure of whether or not the universe actually hears you. the universe brought you to me. so obviously it hears you. =)

but you cannot hear it and I think that’s what needs to change.

So let me give you some advice on what I do when I begin to feel these blocks. like I have been recently.

1. I pray to my gods. you don’t have to be into worshiping gods. you can simply pray to the universe like I did and still do from time to time. You’ll know it’s listening when you feel the warmth of the sun, and the gentle breeze of the wind. perhaps you’ll see an animal or two ;) my sister is a good example of this, she sees dogs everywhere when she’s looking for a sign from the universe lol. 2. I turn to divination. My readings for myself may not be true but it’s good practice. I also turn to other forms to try to grow in those skills as well. Runes, bindrunes, automatic writing, etc there’s SO MANY divination techniques. tarot may not be your thing but scrying might be. look around and see what fits.

3. I play hertz music. I find that music really helps me out lol. hertz is juts frequency waves set to a certain wave length so parts of ... our... ... so like our energy can pick up on it. there’s a better explanation for it but for me, it really helps lol 4. I keep pushing. even when it feels like I’m not being answered, and sometimes you won’t be answered. that’s the thing. the universe wants you to better yourself. and to grow. and sometimes that means trusting yourself to know where to go because it won’t give you an answer. be brave, and go forward.

I’ll go more into what I want you to do, but let me pull out your cards first so you finally have a reading lolol.

So for you I pulled the Lovers, Strength, The Sun and the Knight of Pentacles. with the Ace of Cups as the overall energy.

so it’s really what I’ve been saying lol. The knight of pentacles here is telling me to move slowly. it’s okay that things don’t make sense to you right off the bat. Patience is a virtue here. Going into your craft, your practice, it’s okay to question things. spirituality is a lot different than most religions so coming from a different place and settling into a new one can be tough. it requires a lot of change. and that tends to scare some people. Ya know? we’re all so used to hearing different things -mostly bad- about sprituality and how it’s all “fake” but darling, dipping your toes in and slowly breaking the surface is how everyone starts out. Once you get comfortable with the idea and with your own intuition the fun will begin.

Next you have the Lovers, Strength and the Sun. This is telling me you need to let yourself love. bring courage and strength into this. It’s going to take you loving yourself, being confident in yourself and going forth even if it seems fake. does that make sense? You might have a mental illness. I’ve got some strong anxiety that borders on paranoia. Okay, but in my heart of hearts I knew this was the call for me because I’ve seen too much shit to not believe spirituality wasn’t my path. so I forced myself to be more confident in my abilities. I forced myself to be open to the universe even if it felt like I was talking to a wall. I forced myself to sit down and learn divination and kept a dream journal even if most nights there was nothing but darkness.

and you need to bring that to yourself. if you are serious about this, learn to open yourself to the universe. In the beginning I had to lie to myself. it’s just what it is. but the more I connected to the universe, and the more I began to trust my intuition, the more the lying ceased to happen. because suddenly it was true. suddenly those signs told me I was on the right path. and suddenly everything I was studying made sense. given time it will make sense for you as well.

People, including me, are telling you what you already know. You just don’t trust yourself to hold onto those words. you don’t trust yourself enough to put that same love into you and out into the universe. and maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt. being vulnerable to the universe does mean that sometimes we go through rough patches. we have to break old cycles for new ones to begin. but much like the Lovers, once you make that choice to love and be loved, you will shine.

The ace of cups tells me there is something new coming for you. but you have to choose to let it happen okay? you have to stop thinking you’re not good enough and that you’re not being heard. because you are... because you’re here talking to me ;) the universe wouldn’t have sent you to me if that wasn’t the case. and I think a part of you knows that.

so here’s what I want you to do. Take the first steps. Start keeping a dream journal. the only way we as humans can recall our dreams is if we’re actively thinking of them when we first wake up. that means no media ;) lay there and think about what you dreamed. Like last night I had a dream I set the house on fire and was crying that I lost a textbook. idk, it was weird lol. dreams don’t have to make sense. write them down. keep a glass of water by your bed. for some reason it helps.

If you’re gonna sit there and tell me but you’ve tried everything, try again ;) try it from a new perspective. instead of going in all “this is going to fail” think of it as “this has already worked once and I’m doing it again to better myself”

let your confidence shine. I had to lie to myself everyday until I finally believed I was a decent human being. I still struggle with it but damn have I gotten noticed by more people who tell me that I literally shine like the sun. people notice your changes. some of us just won’t say it ;) that being said, be prepared to fight for your beliefs.

Learn what your beliefs are. Learn to defend them. because the universe does not take this journey lightly. the minute you start to doubt that you’re ever made for this, is going to be the second it closes on you until you force yourself to try again. much like how we’re both in this spot now ;) trust and KNOW that the universe wants what is best for you.

Tap into your higher self and your shadow self. work on what needs to be healed and what your higher self wants for you to do. this could literally be anything from getting therapy, to doing art, to listening to music, to talking to people who have hurt you. like it’s endless but it helps.

Lastly, understand that these things take time. You have some major energy wanting to work with you. you need to start trusting yourself more, and letting down that wall. you built it, you can destroy it.

I don’t hear a voice telling me which way to go. I get feelings. very strong ones. that I’ve had to learn are different from my anxiety. In the beginning that meant I had to pretend to ignore the feeling to see what the reaction would be. when something happened and I knew it was going to happen, I knew what I had felt was my intuition.

Learn to recognize what is your instinct and what is your intuition. my instinct is that my hands get a little shaky and I can’t stop moving around. my intuition keeps me still. it’s quick and alert. for you it could be something different. you might actually hear a voice.

I’m willing to work with you if you want me to. I’ve been in that exact same situation and form time to time I feel the same way. it’s never about the destination, it’s always the journey.

You’ve got this. You know you do. break down the wall, and come join us ;) I hope this helps sorry for the long.... long post lmao If you ever need anything, please reach out =)

#free tarot reading #tarot reading

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dbzebra · 5 years

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OMG all those prompts scream Marten (and Trunks xD) to me!! Wouldn't you like to try to use them all in the same story? No? :P If not, “Hold my hand before I stab you with it." please? xD This is how prompts work right? I'm lost...

Title: “Regaining My Wings”

Words: 2410

Pairing: Marten (Goten x Marron)

A/N: Here is my submission for Marron Day for @dbnextgenweek !! I’m so sorry it’s so late! I was rusty from not writing in so long. I had to rewrite this like four times until I had something I actually liked lol.

This just a super fluffy self indulgent oneshot like all the rest, but please enjoy! I may post on AO3 later

Flight, also known as the ‘bukujutsu’ technique. Many years ago,it was an extremely advanced martial arts technique that only a select few ofmartial arts masters knew.

Those days however were long gone. Even Son Goku’s owngranddaughter, Pan, learned to fly when she was just a little baby.

Flying had become just as easy as walking for the Z Fighters.

Except if you were like Marron and afraid of anything to do withheights, including flying.

Marron never used to be afraid. Not even the slightest. When Marron was achild, she’d be the first one to want to go higher and higher when she wouldride on the Flying Nimbus when on adventures with her two best friends, Gotenand Trunks.

However, one incident when she was about nine years old changedthat.

Marron was happily sitting on the Nimbus with Goten in front ofher, peering over and looking at the amazing sights. The rolling mountains werebeautiful that high up. Oceans seemed never ending. It was simply breathtakingfor an adventurous child.

But then, when she leaned further down to get a better look at apretty bird flying by, Marron accidentally slipped off the fluffy yellow cloudand plummeted towards the Earth.

Marron screamed and covered her face with her hands,sobbing, until she suddenly stopped. After realizing what had happened, shewiped her eyes and opened them to see Goten smiling down at her. He had jumpedoff of Nimbus and caught her. She was shaking and really freaked out, butotherwise was fine.

But since that day Marron off heights (and ever learning how tofly) for good.

Krillin and 18 tried to help her get over her fear a dozen times,but being as stubborn as she was, Marron wouldn’t even consider it for years.Every time she even looked over from somewhere high up, her legs would turn tojelly and her heart would jump into her throat like the time she actually didfall.

The only time she slightly budged was after she and Goten starteddating. Marron would only go on Nimbus if she could sit on his lap and cling tohim for dear life while keeping her eyes shut, not opening them until theylanded. Of course, she still didn’t know how to fly and had no plans to learneither. But it made her so happy.

Goten was always so supportive with her. He never once held itagainst her for being scared and always comforted her. No matter what, Marronfelt the safest flying with him. Besides that stupid adorable smile of his thatalways made her heart do flips, that’s what she loved most about him.

One time however, he (and Marron) were close to falling straightthrough the Nimbus because he almost got a bit too comfy withMarron sitting on his lap. It wasn’t his fault though! What else could he thinkabout when she always looked so pretty and smelled so nice? At least that’swhat he told himself.

That was almost five months ago.

It was another beautiful spring day; perfect for being outside. Marronand Goten were having a picnic date on the grass near the Son family home. Theyweren’t able to see each all week due to Marron’s cheerleading and Goten’sskipping class to train, so a weekend date was just what they both needed.

Marron wore a frilly, light-blue colored sundress and a straw sunhat. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Goten had on his signature ‘Son’ t shirtand jeans. He wanted to dress more formally but Marron insisted he was perfectjust the way he was.

The young couple had just finished eating, and were laying back onthe picnic blanket, snuggled together as they watched the clouds.

Marron pointed out different shapes. Some were little animals, andone even looked like Piccolo. The others however, were just not at all what shewas saying.

“What do mean a bear in a top hat? That’s clearly a monkey at a buffet!”

Marron sat up and stared at him. Of course that dork would seefood. “You know you’re wrong, right?”

“If by wrong, you mean right, then yes!” Goten fired back, hislips curling into his signature wide grin. “That’s clearly a monkey. See? He’sgot a tail. I’ll give you the top hat though.”

Marron giggled and playfully punched his arm before lying backdown besides him.

These peaceful days really were great. They hoped it would neverend.

Just then, Goku appeared using Instant Transmission with littlePan on his shoulders. They had just returned from the grocery store. Goten and Marron both shot up.

“Oh, hey Goten! Hi Marron! Am I interrupting?”

Marron shook her head and bowed her head. “Of course not! T-Thankyou for having me!”

“Ahh it’s nothin’! You’re like family to us.”

At the sight of her uncle, the toddler practically lunged off ofGoku’s shoulders towards Goten, tackling him into a hug.

Goten laughed and caught Pan. “Hey squirt!” He grinnedand ruffled Pan’s hair making the girl giggle.

“Me and Grandpa are gonna go flyin’ later! Do you wants tocome?” Aunt Marron, you can come too!“ Pan chirped. Ever since she learnedto fly, she would always go out for 'flying adwentures’ as she would say.

Marron frowned. She didn’t want to hold him back just because shecouldn’t fly… "Goten, it’s okay, go ahead.”

Goten only turned back to her and winked. “Panny, I’d love tobut Mare and I have plans.”

Pan just stared up at him with wide-eyed curiosity. “You meanlike kissy-kissy?” She said and then erupted into giggles and ran to Gokuwho had a teasing grin as wide as hers.

“Did you tell her to say that?!”

Goku only grinned. “Well, is she right?”

No that’s… that’s not it at all!” Goten replied back.Was he seriously arguing with a three year old?

“Then why are you blushing?” Goku said, grinning.

Traitor! His father was normally on his side!

“Sheesh! It’s been a year you guys, when are you gonna stopteasing me?”

“The wedding~” Chi-Chi’s voice came from the upperbalcony. She was taking dried clothes off the hanger to be put away. She giggledat her son’s flustered reaction. Honestly, she loved teasing her three boys. Goten got even more easily emabarrassed than Gohan did at his age.

“Very funny.” He replied back and turned back to Marron,who was hiding her cute face from embarrassment. Her blush went from ear toear. Although it was embarrassing, she loved it. Marron gushed at the thoughtof getting married. She recalled the days when they would play house back inthe old days. Goten really had no clue, but just played along.

Goku then jumped two stories onto their upper deck, startling hiswife a bit. Goku winked at her and started helping her put away the laundrywhile Panny chased a butterfly on the grass below.

“Now’s our chance.” Goten flipped onto his feet and pulledMarron up by the hand.

She couldn’t help but blush. What was he doing so suddenly?!“G-Goten, h-hold on a second! W-Where are we going?!”

“Nowhere far! C'mon!” Goten (quite literally) swept hisgirlfriend off of her feet and into his arms and ran down the road. Marron’s hat blew off her head and fell onto the blanket as Pan trotted over to it.

Chi-Chi and Goku exchanged similar grins with each other as theirson fled and Pan giggled from below, now wearing the hat.

Goten and Marron came to a nearby clearing with a huge lake. Hegently put Marron down, and she adjusted her dress.

“What’s the big idea?”

Marron was blushing fromthe close contact but shook it off and gazed out onto the lake. It really was beautiful. She held her hands behind her back and stared over the lake. The crystal-clear water glistened in the sunlight. Her long silky blonde hair blew in the slight breeze, tickling Goten’s nose.

“Dad used to take me here to go fishing all the time when Iwas little. Now we all go with Panny.” She heard him say. Goten inhaledand took a deep breath. “I’m feeling up for a swim! You in?”

Just then he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. ”…Hey,Goten…“

"What’s wrong?”

Marron looked away from him slightly, her ears burning. This wasit. She’d have to get over her fear sooner or later, and this would be theperfect time! “…I want to learn…” It came out as a tiny whisper,but she said it. And it felt good.

“Huh?”

“I want to learn. Teach me how to fly! I’m… I’m sick ofbeing scared! I want to go flying with you! And go out on Nimbus with you andactually have my eyes open for once! I promise I won’t hold you back anymore!”She said, fighting tears at that last part.

Goten took a step closer and brought his girlfriend into a hug,smiling warmly down at her. "Mare, it’s okay.” He gently pushed astrand of hair away from her face. “You’ve never held me back and younever will. Nothing will change that. I’ll gladly teach you. I’m honored thatyou asked me.”

"I love you, you big dork…” Marron replied, restingher head against his chest.

“I love you too.” Goten grinned and held her closer.

Marron looked down at her feet and then back up at him.“…But what if… what if I fall?” He could just hear it in hervoice. She was petrified of falling again.

“You won’t fall. I’ll be right here. You have the skill,Mare. It’s there, I know it is. You just have to stop doubting yourself. Youcan do this.”

Marron’s heart fluttered. Just like always, he knew just what tosay. She leaned up onto her tip-toes and softly kissed his lips. “You’reso sweet…”

She knew the basics of Ki and how to fight, just didn’t care forfighting. It was boring to her. She always preferred watching fights,especially from the World Tournament. The adrenaline she got from watchingfights far exceeded what she would get from something like sparring. And plus,she loved supporting her Goten in his fights.

“How did you do it so quickly? You were so young!”

Goten shrugged. “It just came easy to me, I guess. I alreadyknew all about ki, plus being half Saiyan really helps.”

Gohan had taught Goten when he was just seven years old. Beingcalled a 'super pedestrian’, whatever the heck that was, was the last straw!

After he learned that hopping and flying were in fact different,it came easy to him and soon enough…

“Birdy, a birdy, Goten is a birdy!” Little Goten sang tohimself as he flew around in figure-eight patterns high in the sky.

Goten grinned and put his hands behind his head. “Yup. Thosewere the days!”

“Personally, I think you were much cuter back then.”Marron winked at him while saying that.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m still very handsome!” Gotenwhined, cracking a grin.

Marron rolled her eyes with a smile and stepped away. After a moment, Marron took a deep breath andfaced him again.

“Ok. I’m ready.” Marron said. “But only on onecondition.”

“What’s that?”

“…Hold my hand.”

Goten smiled. “Is that all?

“Yes! I’m scared! So you…y-you’d better hold my handbefore… I- I stab you with it…!” Marron said, pouting up at him. Itwas obvious she just made up the first thing that came to her mind. “Orelse…”

Or else? Goten chuckled at that. He couldn’t help it when she gotall pouty and blushy like that. Especially when she’d 'threaten’ him. Usuallywith no more kisses, but he knew she’d break before he did. She always lookedso cute when she got like that.

“Of course, Here.” He held both hands out for her, notbeing able to help laughing a bit.

“…I’m serious, Goten! Don’t you dare laugh at me! Y-You’dbetter not let go either! Or… or I’ll never forgive you!” Marron said,her voice almost a squeak. She looked like she was about to cry, but it was stillso cute.

Goten leaned down and kissed Marron on the forehead, his fingersstill gently entwined with hers. “You’re too cute.”

Marron’s face turned an even brighter red. She looked like atomato. “You dummy, be serious…”

“I promise. You’re safe with me.”

“I… I don’t know if I cando it…“

"You can do it. Just look at me, okay? Focus on me. Remember,just relax. Feel your energy from within and slowly bring it out beneath you.You can do this. I’m right here.”

Marron heart fluttered at his words. They were soothing. Shetightly shut her eyes and focused. After a moment she could feel her feet liftoff the ground and she grips his hands tighter. Goten floated up with her. Itwas relaxing, freeing almost. She felt weightless as if gravity no longer hadan effect on her.

“You’re doing it, Mare! You’re flying!” Marron openedher eyes to see that she and Goten were floating about ten feet in the air. Sheyelped and buried her face into his chest, her eyes tightly shut again.“It’s too high, …I-I can’t…”

“But you already are. All by yourself. There’s nothing to beafraid of.” She heard him tenderly say. “You’re doing it!” Gotengently said. “Want to try moving now?”

Marron slowly nodded. She repositioned herself horizontally andslowly moved around. It appeared as if she was swimming through the air as shelightly kicked her feet. Goten guided her.

She started out pretty wobbly, and didn’t keep her eyes off Goten,but she was flying all by herself. Actually flying! And not falling! “I’m doingit!” She cried happily. When she was up there with him, her fears were allgone.

“See? Now you’re a little birdy too.” He grinned as warmas the sun gleaming behind him. She’d be a natural in no time. He was so proudof her.

Marron was almost brought to tears. Her beautiful blue eyes turnedglossy as he just grinned. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her free handand flew at him into a deep kiss. They stayed up there for what felt like aneternity, both not wanting to move.

Marron couldn’t be happier.

Now if only she could figure out how to get down…

#goten #marron #marten #goten x marron #dbnextgenweek2019 #my ship #hope you like it

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