#i wrote this at 3am so yall are getting it tomorrow

[wearethesparkk]

My dad was in the ER with a shattered wrist last night and my mom was telling me this story of the lady on the other side of the little divider from them.

Apparently her wife brought her in because she was acting really strangely and since she was older (my mom said like mid 60s) her wife wanted to make sure she wasn't having a stroke or anything. Apparently every 5 minutes it was something new, but this woman would just keep going off on very weird, very loud, very dramatic tangents (I mean, she was acting so abnormally that she was in the ER so)

Then all of a sudden she went dead quiet. A nurse came in and started asking her things like "Can you tell me why you're here?" "Do you know where you are?" "What year is it?" And she wasn't responding at all.

Then the doctor went "Do you know the who's president right now?" And once again she was dead silent, took a few moments, then yelled "OH YEAH, IT'S THAT FUCKHEAD."

And everyone, including the nurse and my mom, just fucking lost it.

#I FINALLY HAVE ONE OF THOSE STORIES THAT YOU SEE ON TUMBLR AND YOURE LIKE ''thats made up'' BUT ITS NOT #my mom had been up all night to be with my dad through surgery and stuff and that was like.....the only time she laughed all day #i want to tag antitrump but i feel ill just get butthurt trump supporters trolling the tag #eh #anti trump #kale speaks #i wrote this at 3am so yall are getting it tomorrow #also uhhhhhh my dad is still in the hospital yikes #hes going to need 2 more surgeries #one of which we might have to travel for so #and even so they are very much doing the ''uh we cant guarantee good hand function after this. we'll try to get it kinda functional but uh''

[towerfandoms]

You need better music taste

A/n: Ok so this idea is based off a tik tok I saw. It’s where you’re soulmate can hear what you’re singing. And yall know how catchy the yarichin opening is. If you haven’t heard it here it is on YouTube . Anyways this is really dumb but I wrote it at 3am while I was crying over maths so here 😌😌 also I know all the i’s are lowercase, I just have auto caps off on my phone 🤧🤧

Pairings: Oikawa x reader 

Genre: fluff, humour, mostly just crack tbh.

Warnings: very light swearing, Iwa constantly abusing Oikawa

*not my gif*

Nationals were coming up and Oikawa couldn’t get that stupid song ouut of his head. Normally he loved when he could hear you sing. Sometimes he’d even bop along. Lately though, you’ve taken up a new song. You could’ve chosen any other song in the world but no you had to choose the opening for Yarichin Bitch Club. And it didn’t help that the lyrics were so vulgar.

He sighed and shook his head trying to telepathically communicate to you to please shut the hell up but to no avail. He could still hear the cursed boku wa yarichin osodayo~ Damn it, this was so frustrating. He would give anything to finally meet you and tell you to please get some better taste in music. It really didn’t help his performance that this was all you had sung for the past week.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Iwaizumi could see Oikawa visibly struggling and he laughed to himself.

“Is she still singing that stupid song?” he called out, already knowing the answer.

“Yes!” wailed the setter, eager to complain for what felt like the 20th time today. “You know i searched up the lyrics cuz i was curious to see where it was from but now i really wish i hadn’t. I didn’t know my soulmate was into that kind of stuff!”

He shuddered, remembering the memory. He really thought the anime was just about a photography club.

“Just sing a really annoying song back,”

“Don’t you think i’ve tried? I even tried the Gummy Bear song but she just started singing that damn song even more,” he pouted.

“Well, you’ve got to think of something Shittykawa otherwise you’re gonna make us lose our one shot at nationals.”

“Hey! I thought we spoke about the name calling business. And don’t worry i’ll think of something.”

Thankfully by then your singing had stopped though Oikawa could still hear the God awful lyrics. But the lyrics were so catchy that the stupid song still played on replay in his head. Even when you weren’t singing you still consumed his mind. Endearing or annoying, Oikawa couldn’t tell.

After what felt like eternity, he finally finished practice without too much further nuisances so he was able to clean up and go home right on schedule.

However that night he laid awake thinking about you. In a world where you can hear your soulmate singing it shouldn’t be that hard to find out who you were and where you were. There was just a teeny problem though. He was scared. Neither of you had ever tried to contact the other person through singing. He at least knew you lived in their prefecture because you’d always be singing along to the songs from the local radio station.

Oikawa sighed, wondering if you two would ever meet. Maybe not. He was much too preoccupied with volleyball and you were too busy singing your,,, tasteful music.

Suddenly though, an idea hit him that shook him right out of his somber mood.  He quickly grabbed his phone from his bedside table and texted his best friend.

Oikawa: Iwachan, you up?

Iwachan: What do you want Stupidkawa, it’s 2am.

Oikawa: I have a plan to find my soulmate 😌 But I need your help. Meet me in front of A-33 tomorrow at the start of lunch.

Iwachan: Tch. Why do you need me there.

Oikawa: Please, I’d rather die than be seen alone in front of the anime club. What if people think i’m an otaku 🤮

Iwachan: Says the same man who cried watching Banana Fish 🙄🙄

Oikawa: SHUT UP! Just say yes please ;)

Iwachan: 🙄🙄🙄 Only to make sure you turn up to practice on time. Now i’m going to bed 👋

Oikawa: Thank you Iwa~

The next day, Iwa was waiting impatiently for Oikawa in front of the room used for the anime club. He was getting a few odd looks but he didn’t really care. Finally, he saw Oikawa rounding the corner.

“Yahoo~ Iwachan, sorry i’m late,” chuckled Oikawa, not looking the least bit apologetic.

Rolling his eyes, all Hajime replied with was a simple “Whatever, Shittykawa,”

The two men stood awkwardly outside the door unsure what to do.

“So…” began Oikawa, trailing off.

“So? Don’t look at me, she’s your soulmate! Is she still singing?”

“Yeah, she’s been singing for the last ten minutes. It’s rather cute actually.”

Iwwizumi had rolled his eyes so many times by this point he was sure his eyes were going to get stuck. But he wanted to get this over and done with so Oikawa could finally focus on practicing. Taking the lead, he grabbed the handle of the door and slowly turned it as to not startle anyone inside. The two boys took a peek in and were startled to see just you in the club room singing along as you did some work.

You were singing along to the yarichin opening-

“Damn, I didn’t know my soulmate could sing such dirty thin- agh damnit Iwa that hurt!” Oikawa was cut off before he could finish that sentence. However, you were very surprised to see two members of the volleyball team in the anime club. The two best looking at that.

“I- uh, huh?” you started, not really sure what to say.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” stated Oikawa confidently enough, though inside he was extremely nervous.

If iwaizumi wasn’t here he would’ve ran away so fast. He couldn’t help it, you were breath taking. He already loved your voice, but now your face too? Man, he was counting his blessings and praising the Gods above.

“Wait, how- oh.” You simply stated as realization hit you. He had to listen to this song on repeat.

“Damn, didn’t get annoying having to hear this song everyday?” you questioned aloud, your brain still malfunctioning because he was here! Your soulmate was actually here and he didn’t seem to be too mad.

“Oh believe me it did,” he replied deadpan, though not without a mischievous glint in his eyes. “However I did try to combat it by playing Dance Monkeys and Gummy bear  all day.”

“So that was you!” you retorted angrily. “I hope you realize the reason i sang this song all day yesterday was to pay you back for playing that awful song!”

Oikawa only laughed, his heart softening and how cute you looked angry. He had only just met you and already fell in love.

“Yknow, if you’ve got nothing better to do you can always come watch us play volleyball,” he offered with a cheeky smile, vaguely gesturing at the empty room.

“Oh shush you, the other members are out right now. But I guess that means I can come watch you. Let me just gather my stuff though.”

“Alright, alright. We’ll be down in the gym. You can sit on the bleachers and do your homework there. Ok bye bye now!” he quickly said as he was dragged out of the room by Iwaizumi but not before he also said a farewell of his own.

You smiled softly to yourself, feeling your face heat up at the thought of actually meeting your soulmate. He was so cute and funny, even if he could be a dick at times.

Once outside the room, Iwaizumi let go of the death grip he had on Oikawa.

“Happy now?” he asked.

“Very,” was all that Oikawa said though the light spring in his step and stupid grin on his face said all that he felt.

He couldn’t wait to get to know you.

#haikyuu tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa imagine #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tooru x reader #hq oikawa #hq anime #haikyuu!! #Tooru oikawa #Haikyuu oikawa #tooru oikawa x reader

[dramaqueeenamby]

Waves [drabble]

A/N: I’m tired, ya’ll, and two Excedrin’s later, this damn migraine will NOT go away! :( All prompts will be finished tomorrow morning/afternoon! Promise! 

In the meantime, here’s this random ass blurb I wrote like two days ago that was inspired by the included pic. :/

TAGS: @honeyybey @purple-apricots @90sinspiredgirl @mbaku-babygirl @killuzumakii

"I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch."

"Summer."

She smiled, looking over at him to see that he was giving her the "be quiet" look.

Instead of obeying, she straightened up and lifted her elbows off the counter. Using the view of herself provided via her propped up phone, she folded over the band of her shorts and tugged on her bra strap.

"You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal. Help you with your career just a little,” she continued to sing along, turning sideways as she playfully twerked. "You're 'posed to hold me down, but you're holding me back. And that's the sound of me not calling you back."

"Summer!"

She laughed, covering her face while she grabbed her phone. Summer sauntered over to the other side of the kitchen and placed her phone against one of the kitchen aids.

She bent over to make sure it wasn’t going to fall while taking a few minutes to read the comments from the people who were watching the Live.

Summer rolled her eyes and withheld her smirk as he moved behind her, taking an unnecessary amount of time to reach for the mixer while pressing his crotch into her backside.

"Moveeeee," she stressed the ‘e,’ wiggling to push him off. Before he finally moved, he slapped her ass. "Annoying." Chris chuckled as she rolled her eyes and continued to read. "Hurry up. I’m hungry."

"Why don’t you tell them why you have me up here at 3am, baking you a cake," he grunted, going back to fix his wife’s late night craving.

"Because you looovvveeee me," Summer spoke in a sweet voice. "Right, baby?"

"Fuck off."

She gasped, turning to look at him. "Baby." Nothing. "Christopher." She fake pouted. "He’s so mean to me."

Is he really making you a cake in the middle of the night? 😩 I hate this bitch.

I love how he’s complaining yet still doing it 😂😂😂

Girl, you got that boy so whipped. TEACH US YOUR WAYS, AUNTIE SUMMER 😣

If I asked my man to bake me a cake, he’d break up with me. I need me a Chris 😭😭😭

Tell him you get your cake, he gets his. 👀👀👀

Summer snorted at the last comment. "Girl, why you think I’m trying to get him to hurry up?" She stuck out her tongue and twirled her hips. "I missed my man."

"Show me."

"Feed me."

"I tried. You said you needed a break."

Her eyes widened. "Christopher!"

"Is it a lie?"

"No, but that doesn’t mean you have to broadcast our sex life to all of Instagram."

He rolled his eyes. "I don’t think it’s a secret that we have sex, Heat Index. We have children."

"Those are your kids," Summer quickly interjected, tapping her purple nails against the custom granite. "Badasses."

"She’s upset they like me better."

"Lies," she hummed. "They just can’t get over on me like they do you." Reading the comments, she saw that people were asking what happened. "Ya’ll, he came back home today, right? Tell me why those little traitors barely said five words to me since." Summer feigned annoyance. "Papa comes home, and they forget all about mama."

"They could never forget you, sweetheart. They just ignore you."

She stood up, staring at him with a dropped jaw. "What? It’s true."

As the next song came on, she flipped him off while turning her body away to playfully dance.

"I’m not a teacher, babe, but I can teach you something."

I love how she’s not afraid to show off her stretch marks and tummy.

"Y’all know I’m 100% for keeping it real," Summer spoke, lifting up her shirt to show the stretch marks on her stomach and side. She then turned to the side and tugged on her shorts to show the ones on her hips as well as leaning over to share the ones on her chest. "I have a lot of them now that I think about it," she laughed and shrugged. "I always have, actually. But I could care less because I love em, my husband love em, and that’s really all that matters."

She continued to dance and hum along, watching Chris pour the batter in the bundt pan.

Y’all remember the time Summer was on Live and said she’s not that good at twerking, and Chris said she could come practice on his dick? Well, that ass is MOVING 👀👀👀

Summer busted out laughing. "I actually forgot all about that. But I mean...." She winked and looked over to see Chris setting the timer. "Yay! It’s in the oven, ya’ll!"

"Shut up."

"Thank you, baby," she grinned, jumping on his back and kissing the side of his neck. "Te amo."

Chris pretended to bite her hand while walking over so that they were in view of the camera.

"What are they saying?" She asked as he placed her on the counter and leaned over to read the comments.

CHRIS 😍😍😍

A WHOLE snack 👅👅👅👅

I’ve never been so jealous of a celeb 😭 Chris really just out here existing with his sexy ass

Did she even help him? 😂😂

"No," he answered. "She never helps me, but that’s fine. I’d rather her not burn down the house-"

"Babe!"

"Thermometer, the people of Instagram know that you cannot cook."

"He’s so mean to me!" Summer complained, reaching over to grab and lick the spatula.

"She’s always waking me up," he replied to another comment. "It’s either because she wants me to fix her something to eat, she needs me to kill a bug, or she wants to have sex. Not that I’m complaining about the last one."

"Christopher, stop exposing me!" Summer hit him on his arm. "And these are not just regular bugs. Australia has these mutant ass bugs. I almost died the first time I saw a spider. I’m terrified of insects, and he knows this."

Summer ain’t slick. We don’t care about those bugs, sis. Let’s talk about that S-E-X.

I’m honestly not paying attention to a damn thing that’s being said because these two are literally fucking stunning.

Break up with your wife cause I’m bored 👀👀👀

The real question is how often does he actually get up and cook for her though 😐😐😐

"Every time. Why would I not?" Chris seemed genuinely confused by the insinuation that he’d just ignore his wife’s wishes. "She wants or needs something from me, she has it. No questions asked."

"Can you make me another cake for tomorrow?"

"Fuck off, Celsius."

Her jaw dropped as she kicked him in his ass while he laughed. "Don’t let him deceive you. He’s actually an asshole."

"Lies."

"No, but really, guys. Christopher does all of the cooking. I do breakfast, but lunch and dinner are all him." She supplied. "And when he’s gone, I have a private chef come to make everything because the kids literally hate when I try to cook. They only eat Papa’s food."

Chris grimaced. "You really tried to make them eat your cooking? I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to use cruel and unusual-" he was cut off by her jumping off the counter and hitting him in his stomach. "Assault!"

"Shut up. I am so sick of you." She pretended to be upset as he easily grabbed her by her waist and lifted her up. "He’s the real bully." She squealed as he squeezed her sides, specifically where she was most ticklish. "Put me do-Christopher!" Summer both gasped and laughed as he pushed on her back, forcing her to bend over as he thrust into her from behind.

WE FINALLY GETTING THE SEX TAPE, YALL!

GOD IS REAL! 😱

Drop the clothes. I’m trying to see something.

In the kitchen though? Y’all nasty nasty huh 👀

"Guys," she kept laughing as Chris refused to loosen his grip on her hips. "I have to go take care of my husband-"

"Or let your husband take care of you." He mumbled, giving her ass a squeeze before moving out the view of the camera.

Summer’s eyes widened slightly as she caught his drift before she abruptly ended the Live.

“Bye.”

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfiction #chris hemsworth x OC #chris hemsworth oneshot #chris hemsworth x reader