#i’ve asked my seniors

[ivymp3]

project issue so bad i started asking people from other companies for help 😭😭😭😭

#i went through every possible solution on github and stackoverflow #i’ve asked my seniors #i wrote in the company groupchat #now this 😭😭😭 #any angular devs who had to update their project to v13 here 😭 i’m really desperate

[emile-tb]

so where’s the old men yaoi

I’m lookin right at you @sprucinator3000

Anyway, the old men yaoi will be soon-

#tsp #the stanley parable #this is all /lh lol #completely unrelated—I’ve started school again! and Senior year is a lot more busy than I expected😭 #so I might not be able to post as frequently as I usually do without straight up collapsing #sorry y’all :( #answering asks #emiletb ramblings #my art

[disengaged]

why are jobs always like “expansion of duties without increased depth or adequate compensation” . lol girl ew …. no like seriously EWWW ….

#i did the thing you’re not supposed to do (be honest when a manager asks for feedback about how they can best support you) #told them i’m stressed because i’ve suddenly become one of two (2) senior staff members and everyone else is brand new #and that none of the new people are being trained adequately and i don’t have time to train them and it’s affecting our client relationship #and the manager was like hmmm 🤔 well how about we give you privileges to shift around the day staff schedule so you can train them all? #LIKE HUH ????? HUHHHH ??? #in what universe does me saying ‘i’m overworked and stressed the fuck out by (not their fault but) incompetent coworkers’ translate to #‘i want to continue doing the workload of 3 people while Also taking on the additional duty of training between 7-10 new staff’ #I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME #OR ENERGY. OR WILL TO LIVE #and the sad part is i’m going to do it #because the alternative is letting our clients down #and i’m … not physically capable of Not doing everything in my power to prevent thaf. like what the fuck #pegasus speaks #i <3 using tumblr as my personal journal

[navysealt4t]

HI I WANNA DRAW MORE EMMETT AND ELLE and since ur the one who inspired me to draw them: do you have any like, outfits or poses or scenarios that you imagine them in? no worries if not tho :)

I LOVE THEMN <333 hmmm using my ultimate brain powers……. cuddling,, or shopping . perhaps. ough there was this one fic i read where like emmett was teaching elle about diff law stuff and elle was teaching emmett bout feminist stuff it was so cute

#them. guh #i need to write abt them right neow <- has 3 fics i Need Need to write #i shall just say dream <333 #also i found out my school might do legally blonde my senior year and i’ve been thinking about them even more #id Die to play elle #asks #beloveds <3 #squiding time!

[lambentplume]

yapping aimlessly tonight

#jaerambles #i just have a lot in my brain!! #anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object #i really do think it would be just aimless learning. #like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things #it feels a bit. selfish. #but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things #i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though #i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them #trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder #drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that. #i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd #i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality! #real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy #ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles #or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money #like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy #there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august #or not who i was. what i was doing. #but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn #i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job #and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong #and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow #this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭

[sailforvalinor]

.

#I was just in the shower (yes at 2 am because this is uni we don’t take showers before midnight we die like men) and I was suddenly struck #with this memory of this time at the end of my senior year where this guy in my dance company who I had known for like four or five years #but had barely exchanged two sentences with suddenly referred to me as ‘dearest sweetest of Vals’…but only to ask me to grab him a water #bottle 💀 #and I thought it was a little weird but I moved on until like the next day I found out that he had broken up with his girlfriend the week #before and I was like was he trying to do something there?? or was he just being weird?? likely the latter but still that timing was a bit #strange that’s all I’m saying #anyway filing it in my collective pile of evidence to support the fact that every interaction I’ve had with a guy with romantic (or #potentially romantic) subtext has been objectively weird #I’d really like to disprove my conviction that my life is a dark romantic comedy and I’m the butt of every joke but ladies the evidence is #MOUNTING. #the only thing I’ll say about the guy who is the greatest evidence for this is that it involved a) a debate about the early church and #communism b) The Wingfeather Saga and c) him writing poetry comparing me to a rock #you can’t make this stuff up folks

[mars-ipan]

^ nervous but excited

#the senior picnic is tomorrow and i’m genuinely looking forward to it #i’m also kinda scared shitless bc i am going to. ask someone out lmao #SCARED !!!!! i have literally never directly asked someone out with my words before #bc like. okay. when i was a kid and had my first crush #i told EVERYONE in the class except that kid. so eventually someone accidentally told him #since then i have sworn myself to secrecy with crushes. i tell my most trusted friends and NOBODY else #….iiiincluding the person i’m crushing on #i once wrote a note to a kid in middle school but 90% sure i was bearding so i don’t really count it #anyways point is i have liked this person like literally all year. and i do not know what i’m doing #i’ve done tarot readings. i’ve had dreams (they kissed me in my nap dream earlier it was O-O). like i am being given the green light #and i know if i DON’T say anything i’ll regret it #and worst case scenario it’ll be a lil awkward and then we’ll go back to being friends (they’re not an asshole and neither am i) #but i’m still so so so fucking nervous bc i’ve never done this before!!!! and it’s new and i’m not in control and idk what will happen like #at all #bc ok. i don’t think i’m definitely going to get rejected. but i also don’t think it’s definitely gonna be mutual yaknow??? #bc i’ve been looking for signals. and i think there have been some???? #i’m normally very good at knowing when ppl are flirting with me #but when i like the person i become COMPLETELY oblivious no matter how hard i try #i am fully unsure of how they feel about me #like offering to do heart hands with someone for a picture and regularly complimenting their hair and foot positioning and laughing at jokes #when nobody else does and and and #they do a bunch of shit like that! and it’s just like. they’re such an overall nice person that idk if they’re flirting w me #or if that’s just who they are. i do not know #ANYWAYS. i gotta go to bed so i’m well-rested and don’t chicken out #bc i will kick myself forever if i do #uhhhh #goodnight tumblr #wish me luck !! please i need it very badly

[funfactory-moved]

i feel weird rn

#bella.txt #death mention in tags #i heard tht one of my high school friends might’ve passed away like?? #i wasn’t nearly as close to her by senior yr and haven’t talked to her since graduating but we were rly close freshman yr #+ she was in band too so i saw her all the time #and like. idk how to feel right now i guess #also i say ‘might’ve’ bc i’ve only heard about it from one person and idk what happened or if i can even ask lmao #i don’t think it’s quite sunk in for me yet

[fleshdyke]

shsjeiegjshebr

#man. getting upset about stupid shit. again #yesterday we had an assembly at school for the end of the year awards and whatever #and the only friend i had in the class i was in when we went down left early to go find the rest of our friends #so i went down and found a spot and i already sort of knew this would happen #but i got there pretty early and i watched my whole friend group come in. and they didn’t even look for me #it’s like they didn’t even notice i wasn’t there. and they just walked over and sat down on the other side of the room #and i guess they were all having fun sitting next to each other. i was sitting alone having to listen to some seniors saying really awful #things behind me. idk #they didn’t text me and ask where i was or say anything about it afterwards #like they just completely didn’t notice i wasn’t there #and if they did they don’t care enough to ask where i was #and i’m making them seem a lot worse than they are but like. MAN that hurt #like all i want is a friend. that’s it man. that’s all i’ve ever wanted. i just want someone i can rely on to sit with me at an assembly #i’m not suicidal i really do want to live but. god i just want to know what would happen #i don’t want to kill myself bc i think they’d be better off without me i want to kill myself because i want to know how they would react #i want them to know how much stupid shit like that affects me man. yk. and i know how callous that is and i hate it but god i think about it #so so so much. like #they’ve gotten a whole new friend group and tell me that we’re still really good friends but man you can’t fucking lie to me like that #like you can’t tell me that we’re as close as we used to be because we’re not. i know they don’t like me anymore and it’s fine becuase i get #it i wouldn’t like me either i have to spend all day every day with myself #but like. all i’ve ever wanted is a friend #and i want to just break and start yelling at them for this because i feel so fucking alone but it’s not their fault and that would only #drive them away more #like i feel like the only thing that would bring them closer to me would be to try and kill myself but i don’t want to do that yk #not actually at least. i’ll daydream about it 24/7 though. i’ll think of that as the better timeline #and i don’t want to bring this up to them bc i already have once before and they pretty much told me its not their problem #and again i’m making them seem so much worse than they actually are but this is just how my brain interprets this #and i kind of want to attempt but not die but like my mom’s best friend died this morning and i can’t fucking do that to her #like more than anytjing else i just want a friend. i don’t blame them but like. is that so much to ask #vent

[flippedorbit]

my mom’s about to be the reason i off myself exactly a week before graduation if she keeps bitching about every little thing

#suicide mention #i’ve had it up to here with her bullshit. i’m so fucking sick of it. i just want to be able to relax for five god damn minutes. is that too #much to fucking ask for? huh? is it too fucking much? or does she just hate me for some stupid fucking reason? #i’m so fucking sick of how i get treated in this house. my sister is a little bitch to me for having her do the most basic shit such as #god damn basic hygiene. like to brush her hair or teeth or put on god damn deodorant. y’know. shit she shouldn’t need to be told. #shit that she has to be told every god damn day by both me and our mom. i’m so fucking stressed out over every fucking thing in existence #right now. and its supposed to be the easiest week for seniors. its supposed to be a dream but its turning out to be a fucking #nightmare. why does everything in my life that can go wrong end up going wrong. its so fucking stupid. i don’t even get a single moment of #peace anymore. constantly being yelled for or yelled at at home. being unable to fucking be myself in the place i’m supposed to #feel safe in. i literally have to fucking hide that i’m trans and go by a different name from my little sister #because my mom clearly can’t fucking handle her youngest knowing that her eldest is queer in more ways than one. #this entire post is all over the place and i don’t even have the ability to care right now. i’m just so god damn sick of everything. i need #a fucking break.

[arthur-r]

hi how is everybody doing??

#im ok im a little bit terrified about how i’m graduating in a couple seconds #by which i mean months but it feels that way #and like hooray i get to move away and be transgender and study history and help people and everything i’ve always wanted to do #but also. the kids in my graduating class. i dont know all of them. a lot of them hate me. but at least they’ve been familiar faces #and the idea of going away to a college where nobody knows my name is kind of terrifying #like i know the entire point is to reinvent myself. but isn’t that scary?? i’m going to become somebody new and that terrifies me #anyway i’m so normal regular. in other news i’m about to have a cranberry orange muffin. so wish me luck with that #anyway there’s this girl i kind of like and i kind of wanted to say something but now it’s kind of pointless #she’s going to the u of m. i’m going to wisconsin. that’s just the end of the road isn’t it?? #nothing is strong enough to say anything. but the problem is it’s like this in high school and i go to college and reinvent myself #then what?? i leave college and reinvent myself again!!!! get a masters reinvent myself again!! move towns reinvent myself again!! #struck by the realization that nothing in life is ever permanent except for death. how terrifying is that #anyway i am so normal and regular and cool and good feeling. everything will really truly be okay it’s just #idk. it’s weird being at this stage in my life. didn’t mean to ramble on like that though #so anyway i hope you all are well and would love to know how you are doing. other than this stuff i’m just hanging out #sending all the love to my senior friends who are in this predicament. and my junior friends who aren’t here yet. and whoever else shdhdf #but especially my friends who are my age or like a year older who are in this same kind of soon-to-be-overwritten high school experience #wish you the best of luck finishing and starting over. and try not to take it as seriously as i’m doing its probably not that bad rationally #and so anyway i hope you are doing well and let me know how you’ve been!! hope everybody is okay #ask to tag idk if this was vent territory but it was like. kinda nearly. i can tag with whatever #me. my post. mine. #college talk #(sorry!!) #delete later

[loverboybrightsideghost]

YOOOO CONGRATS ON THE COLLEGE 🎉 here's to you having a bangin' time at uni!! Be proud of yourself and take it easy if you can <3

thanks bestieeee 😌😌😌😌😌❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#unfortunately i can NOT take it easy but its okay you know what they (the mountain goats) say #i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me #but this does take. SIGNIFICANT stress off my back lol #gotta keep my grades up though and i still have auditions but so far i’ve gotten into two really good schools #(three technically but for the third i still have to audition) #so we’ll see!!!!!!! #i am so proud of myself though like i would’ve been so pissed if i didnt get in like i did not bust my ass i did not [redacted for privacy] #just to NOT get in ya know? but that’s not the case thankfully so #>:) #behold an ask! #welcometogrouchland #thanks <3 #yeah the senioritis beam is not gonna hit me until well after february #but its just one month more i can do it ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

[judeiscariot]

So, fun story, I followed you because I’m playing Judas in a community theatre production of Godspell (and just fascinated with him in general, have been for years), I saw your url and went through the Judas tag and thought “Hell Yeah I’ll incorporate that into my character portrayal,�� then I kept scrolling and saw the mess of mcr and activism and yes. Love the vibe.

omg that’s so cool!! yeah judas has been kind of a central fixation for me for a while now so i love the abundance of content abt him on this app lol, it’s like one of those things you can’t rlly find on any other social media site. and good luck in your production that sounds like so much fun, lmk how it goes!!

#but yeah my main three Things rn are judas from the bible mcr and taika waititi which is an interesting combination #i’m a creative writing student and i’ve built kind of a reputation for writing poetry abt judas and jesus lmao #it’s like my favorite thing to write about im doing my poetry senior thesis on queer centric biblical retellings with a focus on judas #but yeah he’s my guy i think he’s pretty neat #ty for the ask btw <3 #answered

[long-island-tea]

First day of classes and my uni’s portal is down for students and faculty which meant that while I was waiting for my first class of the day to start:

Multiple people came in asking which class we were (romanticism)

Most of them—like 8 of the 10 people—were looking for a French class

A professor (not the one for my romanticism class or the supposed French class) came in to use the computer in the class room to try to find out which room she was supposed to be teaching a class in

One of the students for that prof’s class was just waiting in our room because they also didn’t know where to go and so was just sticking with her prof

While that prof was getting help from a student (from my class) she was ranting to us about her day and how the uni doesn’t have enough parking so she’s parked illegally and will probably get a ticket for it

I don’t even think she ever found which room she was suppose to teach in. She just left when our actual prof arrived

Anyways I hope she’s had a better day and found her class

#also on my way to class a grad student asked for directions to the student center which I was walking to so we walked together #but I asked her if she was a freshman because most people I’ve met who don’t know where they’re going are freshmen or transfers #but she was like #no I’m actually a grad student. it’s just my first day #and I was like I’m sorry I know how this feels. I’m a senior and still always get mistaken for a freshman

[galariangengar]

💭

#wow sure do love being triggered on valentines day now 🙃 #main reason is cuz a few years ago in college it was when I found out a guy I met in a history class and had a crush on my sophomore yr #this like 23-24 yr old dude who was gonna be a super senior took out and was seeing a girl that was still in high school #while I was hoping and waiting he would ask me to go out and do something with him on Valentine’s… #and then cuz of the unresolved trauma I have from the pandemic #how I have no hope I’ll ever meet someone who genuinely loves/respects me #and how I’ll never get married or have kids cuz of trauma and mistrust in guys #I’ll delete this later but as I’ve said the past couple weeks have been rough and it’s not getting any easier #squid sister says stuff

[gretagerwigsmuse]

I’m curious about your thoughts on miles as al ruddy. Cause personally I feel that not enough people on this site are horny for him.

listen i’m always horny for him, but i have tragically NOT finished the offer since i started it at my parents’ house one weekend and neither of them remember our paramount+ password/account details (rip to me eventually watching s5 of yellowstone on time) so yeah, i’m…bereft and am watching the rest vicariously through gifs

BUT I AGREE!! he looks so fucking good in it tho?? like the outfits? the voice?? THE VIBES?! THE STRUT?? THAT SCENE IN THE HOTEL?!?

#asks #i’ve been down for this man since i was a senior in hs and spectacular now was my first r rated movie theater movie