#i'm so fucking stressed this is why i need a car except i can't afford a car!! and i don't want one!!

[queridaz]

is it better to spend 2 hours commuting to my life-saving medical procedure every day for 9 weeks while i go to school full time and work part time or is it better to just kill myself?

#i can't take the bus with a wheelchair every single fucking day while i also have school and work this is just not possible #i'm so fucking stressed this is why i need a car except i can't afford a car!! and i don't want one!! #tea talks #tea vents #tw suicide

[starzzach]

hi [peeks out from writer's block] for @c2-eh

read part 1 here and part 3 here! (or don't)

Carlos has an accident. Charles almost has one, too.

—

Oh Carlos is so dead.

Well. Charles hopes he already isn't already. It wouldn't work very well for his revenge agenda. He had a good race himself – great, really. At least until it was red-flagged because Carlos had crashed on the inside of Turn 9. It didn't bother Charles at first, though a twinge of worry had snuck through when the yellow flag went down and the red flag had gone up.

No, he'd just rolled his eyes and asked Xavi to keep him updated. Xavi didn't, at all, so when he jumped out of the car and asked for Carlos and nobody gave him Carlos, he thinks he had a pretty standard reaction.

Really, they should be happy he didn't stomp his feet and throw a tantrum. Carlos was – well. Carlos was. He was a lot of things. He is a lot of things. Charles frowns. And asks for Carlos again.

"Down in medical," a newer, recent hire tells him. Clearly no one told him not to listen to the drivers. Good for Charles, anyway. "They're making sure he's properly okay. He was pretty banged up."

Okay, now might be time to be a little worried. "What?" he demands. "Why did you not tell me this before?"

Charles isn't as friendly with the engineers as Carlos is. He likes to think he's a nice person. He's certainly had his moments, but everyone has. Nobody really questions him at Ferrari – nobody really questions him at all, really, except Carlos.

Carlos is always quick to, infuriatingly, talk him back down to Earth. So. He really can't afford for anything to happen to Carlos.

They don't let him go, though. Fred tells him to stay in the garage, warning him not to leave, and so Charles stays put like a prize pony, waiting for the debris to be cleared and the track to be deemed safe. He's distracted and stressed and everyone knows it.

The race is uneventful. He crosses the line in third, right where he'd started. The podium celebration is quiet – there's still not much word on Carlos. So, naturally, it's the first thing he does.

They part for him, like a sea. The reporters stay away from him, the drivers stay away from him. Tomorrow, or maybe even this evening, they will spin a story about how Charles hates Carlos for possibly ruining his race and Ferrari simply cannot handle the petty teammate drama.

Carlos cares about all that much more than Charles does, but Charles is always the one who ends up defending them. He argues with the nurse for a minute or two, increasing in volume. "I need to see him!" he shouts, unsure of why he's being so adamant. Perhaps he's a little bit more worried for Carlos than he wants to admit.

Andrea materialises at his side. "Charles," he says very quietly, hand on his arm. He pulls him to the side, and the nurse looks considerably relieved, breathing in big gulps of air. His scent must be worse than he realises. "Charles, did you get darker fireproofs this weekend?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Then tell me..." Andrea looks worried, properly worried. "Tell me that's not blood on your thighs."

"What?" He glances down and it's like– it's like looking at it acknowledges the pain he's in– the pain he's been in. "Fuck, what the fuck?"

"You need to see medical, too–"

Charles tries to shrug him off, vision blurring. "No– no, I'm fine– I need to– Carlos–"

Andrea fights him, and it's easy, too, given the cramps in his stomach. Fuck, this really can't be happening. "Let medical give you the OK," he says sternly, but there's concern in there, too. "You can see Carlos after."

Charles isn't an idiot. They've been having sex – lots of it, and the intention had been pretty clear. Pregnancy isn't very encouraged in athletes, much less male omega athletes. The stress from the race probably didn't help. He should have expected the miscarriage, really.

Tears sting in his eyes. He's not the most optimistic person, and he would have expected this, if he knew at all. "Please," he says, hoarse. "Let me see him first."

The thing is – in Ferrari, everyone is soft for Charles, and Andrea is no better. Irritated, he agrees, making Charles vow he'll get himself checked out. The nurse who had been pretending not to eavesdrop wordlessly guides him to the room he's been looking for.

"Idiot," is the first thing he says, so so so relieved. There's an IV in Carlos' arm but he's awake and safe. "Idiot, idiot, idiot."

Carlos laughs. Charles feels drunk on the sound of it. "Happy to see you too. I lost the wheel. How was the race?"

Charles climbs into the bed, trying very hard not to wince. Carlos notices and grills him until he pouts, but they talk. They talk and Charles pours his heart out and kisses Carlos until he forgets his own name (it might be the concussion) and then very quietly tells him he might have had a miscarriage.

Not the best way to go about it, but Carlos holds his hand through the checkup two hours later and they tell him no miscarriage, just some common bleeding. The baby is fine. He's almost two months along. He's due in late March. Carlos cries. Charles might have too.

"Wow," Carlos whispers after the tech wipes the gel off, the palm of his hand coming to rest on Charles' belly, slightly squishier than normal. The tech says something about a printout. "There's our baby in there. Our tiny baby."

Then the irrationality hits him and he whacks him with a pillow. He's going to hate being pregnant, how could he–

Oh, Carlos is so dead.

#hahhahahaha #very much in tune with the laughs to not cry #hope u enjoy eva #zach writes #charlos abo #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #tw: mentions of possible miscarriage #this was meant to be soft and sweet and a marriage proposal #alas

[slonkinjorts]

Screaming into the void ventpost below the cut

I'm absolutely at my fucking limit with everything right now. I am so depressed I can barely get up in the morning but I have to every day to be able to barely afford to live this life that seems to just endlessly be kicking me while I'm down. I have only eaten one meal a day for almost a month, I am OVER my limits on my credit cards and overdraft, I don't have money to fix my car even though I am actively a liability on the road, and I can barely afford gas in the first place but I need my car for work so I gotta find ways to keep it fueled up or I'm gonna literally starve! I have next to no possessions I can sell for money at this point except for the few guitars I own, which I *really* don't want to do since music is one of the only things I have that's keeping me sane. My partners can't find jobs, I can't find a new job, my hours are going to be cut soon and I am falling deeper and deeper into the pit of dispair of not being able to live. I can't afford my meds so when they run out I'm fucked. I can't afford my insurance so I don't know what I'm doing there. I dropped out of school because of my stress and because I couldn't afford it and I'm just. So. Exhausted. I have no backup plans. I cut my parents out of my life because they were causing more struggle than help, and I've had to ask family and friends to help me pay to stay alive pretty much constantly for the last year. I feel like a dead beat. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore at this point. Why struggle with this bullshit if I keep falling further and further down every month.

I'm so tired.

#tw: suicide #tw: homelessness #vent post

[babaleshy]

Something I May Need to Stop Doing...

I'll be venting in this post, but this is about the desire to move out of a desperate want for change right now even though such a move is not meant to be.

On occasion, I go onto zillow's website and check out houses around Pittsburgh out of curiosity just to see what houses are going for what price in what kind of condition. I've noticed something incredibly enticing: there are some houses going for under $100,000 and are technically livable. It's just got flaking/chipping paint, may need new rugs, and other general clean-ups. The only "major" thing I wanna do to any of these houses falling under this criteria is the fact that I feel more comfortable with a tin roof.

These houses that I find are within city limits, most of these houses I've shown an interest in are close to sidewalks. This means if I were to move into one of these houses, then I'd have a chance to properly commute!

Ah, but why exactly am I making this post? What is it that I'm venting about? And what did I mean earlier when I said "not meant to be?"

Back in 2014 (autumn, specifically), my husband and I had to move out of our apartment in downtown Pittsburgh to my parents' farm in Ohio. Two reasons made us do this: one was the skyrocketing rent prices when HUD sold our building, causing rent to go from $539/mo to $720/mo. My husband worked at a casino, and was making $10/hr, so when rent prices went up like mad, we really began to struggle to survive. The other thing was bedbugs. The building manager laughed at our discomfort and said, "What do you expect me to do about it? Where would everyone go for the building to be treated?" Like, you're a shit manager if you haven't come up with those contingency plans.

Paying $720/mo for a bedbug-infested apartment (bedbugs are fucking hard to get rid of) and living in a constant state of itchy breakout made us decide it was time to move in with my parents. Because we literally could not afford to live anywhere else, and our student loan debt fucked up our credit scores, so we couldn't even get a house (and we were looking for one at the time!).

We used to think living on this farm was temporary until reality set in, that there is absolutely no possible way for us to make it on our own now. My husband has ADHD and anxiety and is still struggling to practice to get his driver's license (it's hard when my dad is a major source of my husband's stress; my dad's an asshole and gets worse by the year), and I'm Autistic, so I can't hold down a regular job, and nothing else is hiring.

In terms of getting a job for me at all, either I'd have to go to school for my special interest for the job (ecology, entomology, and/or paleontology) or I'd rather work in a library.

Welp, college is far too expensive for me to pay out of pocket, and my already existing student loan debt is barring me from getting any sort of financial aid to go back to school at all. As far as the library is concerned? Remember when I said my husband is currently struggling to practice for his license? (He doesn't get much practice because my dad is a stressful asshole that makes my husband have a horrible headache and anxiety after he drives). We have 2 vehicles, one my mom uses to get to work, and the other my dad uses to take my husband to work as well as do errands in like grocery shopping and shit like that.

I can't get a ride.

Can't ride a bicycle, either. It's definitely not safe (I live in America, if you couldn't tell). My parents' farm is deep within one of the back roads with one of the properties on this road being an oil rig. The oil workers drive like assholes, not caring what animal they hit, speeding through here. There are dirtbikes and four-wheelers that speed through here, too. There's no room for 2 vehicles to pass one another, and nothing but pure fucking hill the moment you step off the side of the road. I literally cannot bike here.

But let's pretend I got onto one of the main roads on either end of our road. It's even worse! And STILL no room for bicyclists! This goes for fucking miles until you reach a residential area! Except for a nearby little village-town that has the closest library branch. It's the village my husband grew up in, but there's a lot of sketchy turns, corners, and again, no room for bicycles. This includes main roads.

With all this in mind, I actually considered the possibility of moving to that village, because the village itself is actually safe enough to bike ride in. The problem is: I'm not guaranteed to get a job at the library at all. I tried getting a job as a library clerk at the Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, got interviewed and everything, and didn't get the job for whatever reason. In fact, I'm not guaranteed a job at all at any library branch, regardless of the neighborhood. So moving to such an area depending on the chance of being hired there is not worth it.

Such a village is actually rather unfriendly, and that goes for a lot of communities here on this side of Ohio. You'd think this was one of the southern states from its people and what flags they fly.

So why not Pittsburgh? Why not move there if we could?

Well, I thought about it. It has all the perks I could expect such as public transportation, somewhat safer bicycling areas to commute to school and work, and more importantly: THINGS TO DO.

Living in the middle of nowhere blows when you want to, on your own without relying on someone to drive you, go and do something, such as buying fabric or art supplies for future projects, or going to the library, or anything, really! Yeah, I do want to garden, but I don't have the means to do that on a damn farm (long, frustrating story that made me stop believing my parents' promises).

Not to mention, I still have friends in Pittsburgh, If I wanna see them, they don't have to drive an hour and 45 minutes (and that's if they have a car) to visit. I got 2 friends here in the area, and they're busy with their work's demanding schedules. When we do hang out, Cards Against Humanity, Uno, and D&D can only do so much until it gets old and boring and you wanna do something else that isn't hanging out at a dead mall. There is truly nothing to do here. Pittsburgh has the museums, libraries, parks, and far more interesting establishments to lurk in.

So again: why not Pittsburgh?

Because that city has changed and is still changing compared to when I was last there. My regular watering hole (The Beehive) is no more. There are neighborhoods being gentrified (meaning I'm not guaranteed to keep my home even if I pay it off). Businesses are closing, meaning people will be losing their jobs, and some of the other places hiring (like libraries) are not guaranteed to hire me, especially when I haven't had a job since 2010.

There's also my cat to consider; she gets stressed at the sound of a lawn-mower (I don't blame her). She wouldn't be able to handle the sounds of the city. Unless we found a place not too close to downtown, such a move is a no-go.

I've daydreamed about living in Pittsburgh again. I'm homesick for Pittsburgh. I've realized only recently that that city was my home. Not this farm, not even the house I grew up in. I felt like a person who didn't have to rely on people for rides and such. It's the only place where I've truly lived on my own and enjoyed it.

I've actually considered moving out of this country and found that even more impossible. No matter which country you pick, no matter what language you learn, not only do you have to pay for your things to be shipped, for your plane ticket for a one-way trip, or whatever you need to become a citizen there, you still have to pay at least $2,000 to revoke your American citizenship or else you will be forced to pay American taxes despite never setting foot on American soil ever again.

Thanks to capitalism, America has made it fucking impossible for the average person to leave for good. If you are born here, you are financially enslaved here unless you're wealthy enough to leave.

So... What's the plan?

Well, for now: not much. The pandemic has set plans back a bit, but my parents have a lien on the house thanks to my private student loans my mom was bullied and forced into co-signing for. She... I guess?... is almost done paying them off? I don't know. My parents don't like communicating need-to-know info with me and then get mad when I don't absorb it through osmosis. Once the lien is taken off the house, mom wants to move north to be near her sister, and she said she'll try finding a farm for sale near Kent State so it'll be an easier commute (be it by bicycle or by car). My intention is to enroll there to be able to get a job as an ecologist (focus in entomology, specializing in arachnology) with a minor in paleontology.

Once I've gotten that all taken care of (as well as my husband going back to school for what he wants), we move to the pacific northwest, mainly just north of Seattle somewhere.

I hate Ohio. I hate running into people I've gone to school with that I try to avoid (more like I see them, but they don't recognize me? At least I hope not?). I hate this place so much. I hate this climate, being near people I don't want just randomly showing the fuck up. And what's the use of living near family when they don't want to bother visiting you? I hate hearing my mom tell me so-and-so that I obviously want nothing to do with told her to tell me they said hi. I'm tired of fearing I'll run into someone that abused me in the past because now they're back in the fucking area again apparently.

I've got my fingers crossed that something is gonna give and college to some level (community college?) will be free for residents or something. It'll give me a chance to go back to school for something close to what I wanna do so I can maybe get a job? Completing something at a community college would at least make it easier for me to get enrolled at a university.

My husband and I picked Seattle (or close to Seattle) for its climate. It's (usually) not blistering hot every goddamn year, and it's not horribly cold thanks to the mountain range (I'm quite cold-intolerant). We both enjoy overcast weather and rain. We'd rather take our chances with volcanoes than earthquakes or hurricanes in areas where these things are guaranteed to happen yet nobody ruling these areas wants to invest in infrastructure that helps stand a chance against them. Seattle also has a nice combination of city and wilderness side-by-side. Not much of that with Pittsburgh.

If I was forced to only move to Pittsburgh and no other city, I wouldn't mind, especially since I'm more familiar with Pittsburgh than I am with anything in my current local area (because I had to travel on foot instead of relying on a car to get to places!). Fuck, my mom wouldn't even let me do anything by myself out of the yard when we lived in the village I grew up in because she was a paranoid fuck and by the time I JUST STARTED gaining independence for having a bike and bicycling to the post office everyday, we moved to this farm.

Oh, this isn't a roof over my head I should be thankful for. My parents got screwed. Our water is full of iron and calcium that no filter can fix, so we constantly have plumbing problems, the post and internet connections are questionable at best, we get ant infestations from 2 species EVERY YEAR, all for a farm my mom wanted for horses she always wanted and eventually got but has little next to no energy to spend the time she wants with them and she refuses to admit her age has a lot to do with it on top of her working so she sits in the living room on THREE DIFFERENT DEVICES sucking up bandwidth to religiously watch every fucking livestream of a country singer she likes (and complains if she's missing it for any reason!), scroll through Facebook, and play a fucking shitty app game!

Our internet out here? The physical equipment is outdated (copper wires instead of fiber-optic cables) because the fucking company doesn't wanna spend the money to upgrade it.

So instead, we're stuck here, with my husband losing his sanity bit by bit by the day at his shitty retail job (every other available job offering would be worse in this area) and I sit here and hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I could start gardening soon.

I miss Pittsburgh. I really do. But despite all of its benefits it would give me and my husband if we moved back, I don't think it will happen.

In the off-chance that we don't move north, that my dad's assholery intensifies and he decides to remain here (he has to legally agree to sell this house in order for my mom to move north; dad's reasons keep fucking changing), Pittsburgh is a nice back-up plan. Pitt University actually has the major I'd want to go back to school for, as well as what my husband wants to go back to school for, and we'd already be familiar with the city and what to expect of it. However, we're aiming higher, and hoping to move to the pacific northwest, instead.

But I think to avoid losing my sanity, I should stop daydreaming about a future that may never be.

Fingers crossed!

#rant #ramble #vent #I wanna move so bad but can't

[becominganomadtv-blog]

Writing and More Writing

Here’s the first two sketches of a four part series. Hope you guys enjoy. 

Anger Management Episode 1

Anger Management (Episodic)

Premise: Dr. Loften is leading a court ordered anger management course with three very different men. We learn how they got there through brief reenactments of their stories as they are being told.

Day One (Pilot Episode)

INT. A ROOM WITH FOUR CHAIRS IN A CIRCLE. THE DOCTOR IS AT THE TOP OF THE CIRCLE WHILE REGGIE JACKSON AND PRESTON AKA P-NASTY ARE SITTING IN THE CIRCLE.

Dr.Loften: "Guys you really have to work on healthy outlets to express your anger. What do we say in moments that we fill the inner rage coming out.

Everyone (except Jackson): Repress. Repress. Build up that stress. 2x

Dr.Loften: Looks at her clipboard and then up to Jackson " Jackson (questionably) You are new here to anger management. Why don't you tell us your story.

Jackson: I am not really into story-telling

Dr.Loften: Jackson you must open up if you want help with your anger.

Jackson: I don't have a problem with my anger

P-Nasty interrupts

P-Nasty- "Damn Doc typical self denial and shit. Look homie you need to let that shit out" Pats Jackson on the back

Jackson- You are going to need to not touch me P-Nasty- "Damn playa so its like that alright bet" mumbles

under his breathe

Dr.Loften ( sensing things are getting out of hand): "Ok guys lets get back to our session. Reggie would you mind starting with your story."

Reggie is a older man in his 50's. He has served a 20 years sentence in prison for killing a man in a bar fight. He joined anger management after being in prison for 10 years he now attends more as a confidant for other members.

Reggie- "Sure Dr. Loften. I remember it was 1986 and the night was young as I was. I had been drinking all night at the pub down the street." (Flashback to the Pub)

Reggie as a young man is drinking at a table with his girlfriend Veronica. In the restaurant are two other guys who keep making loud comments about Veronica in hearing distance of the table.

Guy One : " Hey baby you coming home with me tonight"

Guy Two: " Yeah a guy like that can't afford to buy you the things a girl like you deserves"

Veronica (to Reggie): "Don't listen to them baby. Let's just have a good night." She grabs his already clenched fist.

Reggie: Trying to calm down. "I know. I am not going to act up but lets get the check cause I can't promise how long this will last."

Guy Two: "Baby, Hey baby you want to ride my face like a horse saddle"

Guy One: Starts singing "Damn girl I wish I was your chair.. Ohh That booty so big"

Waitress comes back with their check

Reggie: "ok lets go"

Veronica gets up and grabs his hand as he leads her out. With no other way to leave they must walk past the table with the two guys. As Veronica walks by Guy One hits her on the butt. Reggie springs in to action. He beats up the first guy and then guy two tries to sneak him. He regains his footing and knocks him out. Then he turned back to guy one who was still trying to touch Veronica's butt to beat him up. The scene ends with him punching him in the face over and over. End Flashback

Reggie: " And that is how I served my time in prison. And I could of walk away from that fight and spent that 20 years with my family. And that is why I am here so that you don't have to spend decades behind bars.

P-Nasty: Home girl booty must of been fat! Reggie: Watch it motherfucker that homegirl is now my wife.

P-Nasty: I am just saying a dude going to get his ass whooped and still try and keep grabbing her ass.

1.

Reggie: Look I aint going to tell you again An alarm goes off and the session has come to an end

Dr. Loften: Ok guys I'll see you all again next week. Please remember in times of distress say our mantra which is

Everyone (except Jackson): Repress. Repress. Build up that stress. 2x

The End

Anger Management Episode 2

Anger Management (Episodic) Session 2

INT. A ROOM WITH FOUR CHAIRS IN A CIRCLE. THE DOCTOR IS AT THE TOP OF THE CIRCLE WHILE REGGIE JACKSON AND PRESTON AKA P-NASTY ARE SITTING IN THE CIRCLE.

Dr.Loften: "Hello guys I hope we all had a great week. Anything anyone want to share before we get started? Jackson?"

Jackson: Nah I am good Dr. Loften: "Preston?" P-Nasty: " Damn Doc I done told you can call me P-Nasty girl" Dr.Loften: I prefer Preston. Did you have something to share?

P-Nasty: " Yeah so my girl going to say I'm stalking her. And I'm like look just cause we happened to end up at the same places three times today doesn't mean I'm stalking you. And she was all like well you are outside my Gynecologist's office. "

Dr.Loften: "I told you Preston to stop following Stephanie. She will grow to forgive you in her own time"

P-Nasty: You right Doc. Dr.Loften: "How are you feeling today Reggie?" Reggie: " Mighty fine Dr.Loften"

Dr.Loften: "Good to hear. So lets get started. We ended last week's session with Reggie. Now its someone else's go. Who would like to go next?

Everyone looks at Jackson. Jackson pats P-Nasty on the shoulder

Jackson: "Go ahead bruh"

P-Nasty: " Nah...Hell nah! Don't touch me if I can't touch you!Nah cause homie yesterday walked in here like the Equalizer

Dr.Loften (distractingly): "Preston" (trying to get his attention) "Preston" (He looks at her) (trying to calm him) " Lets refocus that energy."

P-Nasty: (calming down) "Yeah you right Doc cause this fool going to have my pressure up."

Dr.Loften: "Preston would you mind leading us today in our session. Come on tell us how you got here"

P-Nasty: "Okay so picture it on the December 10th, 2016 I am dressed in my flyest gear. My (Whatever you brought to wear). When I pull up to pick up shorty I met on Tinder at her crib. So I walk up to the door ( Flashback to Stephanie's House) Preston walks up to her door and rings the doorbell. He waits and receive a call from the house.

Stephanie (from the back of the house) "Come in! I'll be out in a minute."

Preston: (opening the door and walking in) "Okay." (To himself) "she better be fine got me doing all this waiting"

Beat

Stephanie walks from the back of the house to the front room.

P-Nasty (while standing): Hey girl! You looking good. (He goes to give her a hug)

Stephanie (gives him a sideways hug)

P-Nasty breaks into song "Fake Hugs"

(The scene will freeze but P-Nasty will remain active. The musical interlude will be filmed as a music video. We will have P-Nasty rap while walking through her house eating out of her fridge and etc.)

**Yeah, yeah

I've been broke so it long I wear a frown on me They look down on me I got fake girls givin' fake hugs to me Straight up to my face, straight up to my face I've been broke so it long I wear a frown on me They look down on me

I got fake girls givin' fake hugs to me Straight up to my face, straight up to my face

1.

Somethin' ain't right when we huggin Somethin' ain't right when we huggin Why you withholding your body Really your hugs never was all in She like no you can't please me I'll never get to grab cheek

Just when shit look out of reach, I reach back like one, three Like one, three, yeah

That's when she laugh in my face Whole time I'm trying to push together our waists Whole time I'm trying to push together our waists Whole time I'm trying to push together our waists Yeah, You know I wanna to push together our waists Damn girl your butt must be fake I don't trust a word you say How you wanna not hug me after all our applebees dates Them sideway hugs it's just not the same**

(P-Nasty returns to his position and the scene continues.)

INT. PRESTON PULLS UP OUTSIDE OF A MASSAGE PARLOR.

(Stephanie looks up at the moniker): (suprised) A Spa?

P-Nasty: Oh so I guess somebody didn't know they were getting pampered today. So here's the game plan. Let's go in here and get oiled up and rubbed down. Then we can go out to eat at the Bistro. And then if my plan worked then back to your crib for some late night coffee. (Stephanie looks at him) I'm just joking about the last part. I mean unless you want to. (Losing his cool demeanor) (Stephanie laughs and gets out of the car) I mean (to himself) fuck. ( Preston exits the car)

INT. MASSAGE PARLOR. (Stephanie and P-Nasty are laying on tables waiting for their masseuses to arrive.)

Beat.

(Two men walk in and walk over to Preston and Stephanie. Preston looks over at the guy about to massage Stephanie. He is a good looking man with a Hawaiian shirt that is mostly unbuttoned. He grabs the oil and begins talking to Stephanie.)

Sebastian: Hello my name is Sebastian and I will be taking care of your body today.

P-Nasty: (to himself) "Aint this a bitch"

2.

Sebastian: (to Stephanie): You have beautiful muscles in all the right places. Your husband is a lucky man.

Stephanie: " Oh no he isn't my husband. This is our first date"

Sebastian: "Oh really. Well then"

P-Nasty: (to himself) Well then.. what the fuck he mean well then. Alright bet.

Sebastian: You have grogerous skin. It needs to be kissed by the sun. How about you come with me to Miami next weekend?

P-Nasty ( reaching his boiling point): This aint how its about to be playa!

Sebastian: "Excuse me?" P-Nasty: You heard you me you (improv insult based on looks) Stephanie: "Look Preston just calm down." P-Nasty: " Oh I am all the way calm."

Sebastian: "Look here little dude if you aren't going to calm down you need to leave." Turns to Stephanie "Do you need me to take you home?"

P-Nasty goes berserk knocking over the tables and trying to get to the masseuse. The scene ends with him choking the masseuse.

P-Nasty: "Yeah so we won't be going back there. Now my shorty tripping and not answering my calls."

Reggie: "You have to let the ones you love go if they love you they'll come back"

P-Nasty: (thinks for a moment) Nah that just sounds dumb. I am going to keep trying for her I love her.

Alarm goes off

Dr.Loften: Alright guys same time next week. And remember our mantra.

Everyone (except Jackson): Repress. Repress. Build up that stress.

#comedy sketches scripts series writing writer screenwriting