#i'm so sorry i hope this doesnt scar anyone for life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adrian-sheppy · 6 months

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Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!

hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup! so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote . a good chunk of stuff . so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr

I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well. its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins

i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!

but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.

...

also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.

honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).

i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons

#also fun fact! my og freemind design had short hair BECAUSE i was going to use his hair growth to indicate time passing #going from the rescas to a more domestic and “calmer” setting with his new friends #and the hair growth is supposed to represent lije... self acceptance almsot #and like a slightly healtheir view of himself (dont worry hes still an asshole)#and thats also why COLLEGE FREEMIND (who i never draw) has short hair also!#yay! emotional growth represented by the literal growth of hair!#freeman's mind #freemind #mindverse #gordonverse #gordon freemind #freemanverse #asks #half life

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page551 · 10 months

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Personally, what do you think was the worst thing that yjh has ever done in the entirety of the series? (and why was it leaving the pocketwatc-)

jk srsly im kidding, i love him. I get that he was goin through a lot (ysa shouldve smacked his head harder-) besides that whole situation, what are your thoughts?

yjh is just so.. inexplicably good to his core (even in all his 'kill first, ask later' thing lol) that you really could nitpick any of his actions and still find a noble heart beneath it all, even in 41st round where he was the most ruthless, i think?? it was revealed in the side stories? that the 40th round before that were one of the bad ends so he was just in a really bad space, plus the whole distancing-to-keep-self-from-getting-hurt which explains his more ruthless than usual actions, but his hurtful actions hurt him too !!! Or maybe i'm just influenced by kdj's 'there is no such thing as a bad yjh' lol, also sp and all his scheming was in part a plan to save the outer gods (sorry my memories of this part is murky) and its just- ajwbdkcbdlakbwk YOO JOONGHYUK-

he may be a bastard, but he's a sad, well-meaning bastard lol (except the pocketwatch incident)

yoo joonghyuk has never done anything wrong actually. ik him better 🙄

okay jokes aside, yjh is a bastard that got emotionally hardened by the pain that comes due to extensive loss. hes someone who decided to take the reins of his own life (since he felt that someone else completed his own during 0) even though he'd need to go through what seemed like an eternal hell for almost 2k times. and each of these rounds would inevitably be different from one another. in the 2nd round he got betrayed. in the 3rd round he got revenge. in the 40th, he was strong enough to kill constellations.

in the 41st round he doesnt even remember most of it. he closed off his emotions and lived as if he's alone. and before death he sacrificed one companion to the worldlines so maybe that's the worst thing he has done after all. what a bastard am i right. but then in the 999th round he did the opposite. in his quest to save his friends at all costs he gave them scars that wouldnt fade for hundreds and thousands of years. so maybe this is the worst thing? making your friends love you so much they mourn you and become outer gods to find the you of at least one worldline which you have to forsake?

or maybe the worst thing he did was embark on a journey through space and give his sister many reasons to cry herself to sleep each night bcs he's taking his life so lightly.

but the thing is, yjh cant help these things either. hes a being of hope and love. he cant give up and will save anyone who needs his help.

#ask #orv #yoo joonghyuk #yes yjh is a bastard *bcs* hes kdjs one and only blorbo #and he likes to bully him (lovingly) in his mind #didnt go too deep into the side stories #thats a whole nother landmine

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venting-dont-like-it-dont-follow · 3 months

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my shoulder hurts and it's making me angry. people aren't responding and it's making me angry. my music doesn't feel right and it's making me angry. people are downstairs and they are talking anf it's making me angry. my breathing is too loud and it's making me angry. people aren't giving me attention and it's making me angry. i'm angry and it's making me angry. this bout to be my make or break. nah kidding. i wouldn't do that to him. this post isn't aimed at anyone i just feel like i'm losing my mind and writing it out always helpes. me. it's like 1 big outlet for all of my feelingss and emotions. just working trough them one by one. im not sure why im so irritated all the flipping time. or at anything. i asked mods in a friend server to yime me out cuase i wasnt sure if id snap. and noe im just venting everthing here in the case that it helps. because i dont want to snap. so instead im leetting it all out in one big text post. i hate what you did to e Pelle. i hte what you fucing didi to me. do you understand how you've ruined my fucking body. do you understand how violated i felt. mom do you understand that you pushed me until i broke and then you kept pushing. you broke me. always expecting more, never letting me get rest. you wanted to do whats right. but it wasnt working. dad you were emotonally absent at best an d downright abusive at worst. pascal. youve ever beliueved in me from the start. always doubting me and telling me my depression was fake and for attention. do you know a couple of the scars on my keg are cause of you. hope you are proud. alex. your great. but you never listen and always talk. im sorry im the only one that listens but doesnt men that you cant or dont have to listen to me. thats not how it works. Noa. fuck you for ruining whatever a friendship was supposed to mean. ive never dared to make friends with anyone or a long time since i met you. i hope you rhink about me with fucking regret for how you treated me. do you understand that ive looked at you wih disdain for ever entering my life. the 1st person to ever show me fucking kindenss and it was out of goddamn oity. fuck you. i wanted to thros and pull you from that fucking bike back when i saw you years ago. Tamara. youre stupid for expecting me to just do everything you say. im not a dog and im not a slave. im sick of people telling me how to live my life, who to interact with. and wwho i need to be. the only one ive truly and wholly forgiven is my qpp. cause he fucking showed compassion evenw hen we were on bad terms. and we repaired it bit by bit. and god i relaise im broken. im a shell of a person but fuck. im alive but i dont know i i'm living you nknow. and who fucking knows. none of this might make sense and i might just be causeing a big ruckus ffor nothing. kinda wanna put thi on on my maina ccount but i wont. anbd lastly. fuck you . yeah. fuck me. becaue i let people wall all over me and convince me of whats right and wrong or months. fuck this. ugh. i think im don ater abusing my keyboard ot a good 12 minutess. that., does oddly feel better actually. nive

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ruinsofxerxes · 3 years

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What bothers me about Mei is that she never even tried to get to know Ed as a person. She goes from objectifying him to villanizing without 0 input from Ed himself. Like when Mei sees him as the Fullmetal Alchemist for the first time Ed just had a really rough few days: the fight with Scar, Winry's breakdown, the fight with Gluttony, Winry's departure, Lan Fan's injury, another fight with Gluttony and Envy, getting stuck in Gluttony's stomach and starving, fight again with Envy, the revelation about Xerxes and the Ishvalan war, finding a solution to a supposedly unsolvable problem, human transmutation of himself using human souls, being deconstructed and getting knowledge crammed into his brain again, seeing Truth and Al's body, realizing his dad's twin is the evil behind all the horror, his evil uncle turning off their alchemy, seeing Greed taking over Ling. That is a huge amount of physical and emotional stress with little or no rest in between. He's hurt and tired, he's being pinned by giant Envy and in comes this girl he's only seen once before defending Scar and starts screaming at him about breaking her heart and physically attacking him. I know it was supposed to be funny and we should think that her selfish and toxic behavior is cute, but I could never see it that way. She decides in this moment without actually talking to him that Ed is worthless, because his appearance is dirty after going through all this suffering and he's not as tall as she assumed, so she treats him as trash from then on and refuses to take her filter off for even a minute. This is a pretty big character flaw of hers for me.

I just hope Alphonse will put her straight at some point on this, since he knows and loves his brother. I'm missing the resolution / exploration of this from fanfictions and I'd like to see Mei admitting to this, maybe saying sorry to Ed and actually getting to know him as a person. If you or anyone knows a fic about this topic, I'd be very thankful for the suggestion. I hope you have a nice day!

I don’t think she really villainizes him or thinks he’s worthless. Yeah, her reaction to him being “ugly” was definitely over the top and it definitely crushed her fantasies about him, but as the series goes on, she DOES see Ed as a person, not just her ruined fantasy, and they become allies. Ed has definitely moved past it, he barely knew what was going on to begin with, I don’t think he really cared what some random 12 year old girl thought about him because we never see him bring it up, he kinda had bigger things to worry about.

They weren’t exactly friends, all things considered, she was sided with Scar and Ed and Al were still against him. I’m the beginning, yeah, she does call Ed “It” when talking to Al at Dr. Knox’s which is savage and sees him as an evil little thing but it was only a day or two after she first truly met Ed, she was probably still scorned and it wasn’t enough time for her to mature. At the same time, Ed and Al were still referring to her as “that girl” so I think they just....didn’t even think about her much until they needed her alkahestry

Weeks if not months pass before they meet again. When they do, all Mei does is tell Ed he “isn’t her type” which isn’t a bad thing for her to do?? She doesn’t call him ugly or worthless or anything.

And Ed doesnt seem to care either what she thinks of him, he just wants her knowledge. There doesnt seem to be any animosity from him about what happened (and he finally started calling her by her name lol)

After this, they don’t interact again until the promised day. Months have passed, Mei has grown and matured. We see her begin to form a real friendship with Al and not just have a crush on him. She definitely grows as a person, and she never treats Ed poorly or says anything bad about him again, she hasn’t really since the few days after their interaction in father’s lair.

Let’s not forget SHE saved Ed’s life with Alphonse. And then vehemently apologized to Ed afterward for helping Al. Ed comforts her by saying it wasn’t her fault. If she thought Ed was worthless, she wouldn’t have sacrificed Al, who she loved so much, to save Ed’s life.

Again, no animosity or villainizing between either of them. Even from Ed after what she helped al do.

She even cheered him on when he fought father!!!

And was sad to leave them, saying they’d meet again someday (this might have been directed toward Al, but she didn’t specifically say Alphonse, so think it was toward them both, but more for Al haha)

So idk where you’re getting that she’s toxic and treats Ed like he’s worthless. They might not be friends but by the end they have some sort of respect and allyship. They definitely traded some slight insults during the beginning of the series, but it was mutual, and seems to be only surface level, and they can work together and respect one another when it really matters. Additionally, if she really DID treat Ed badly, I don’t think Al would put up with that, be friends with her, and visit her when he goes to Xing.

Yeah, she definitely could have and should have apologized for freaking out on him when she found out who he was. But I don’t see any evidence that Ed even had that much thought about it after it happened. I think by the end they’ve both grown past that. Mei saw him as evil little caricatures like once or twice offhandedly, but the majority of the time she doesn’t treat him poorly?? She just treats Al with much more affection and respect. And I think as the series goes on, she matures and treats Ed with respect as well.

Idk any fics about that, sorry!! But I hope you have a nice day as well!!!! Also, unrelated, but while I was looking at manga pages, I found the cutest panel of Xiao Mei clinging to Dr. Marcoh

#fma meta #long post #yeah Mei....maybe shouldn’t glorify people the way she does.....but she does end up genuinely caring about Ed and al #ask #anonymous

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saeran-choi-is-my-husband · 7 years

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Hi, I'm Fluffy! I just read ur Jumin post and love it T^T I ended up gasping dramatically from shock lol anyways I saw that your ask was open and was wondering if I can ask for a RFA+V and Saeran(if ur ok doing all) reacting to an MC that's like a hard core fangirl(could be anything like anime, books, musicals, etc, ect) and cosplay, does fanart, writes fanfics/hc and when she talks about her obsessions, like most the time doesn't even makes sense?? I hope that wasn't too specific! Fluffy out!

Hi fluffy! Wah, it’s an nice request, thank you for sending it in! I think I accidentally made Jumin’s part long whoops!

~Admin Jiyeon

RFA + V & Saeran with a fangirl MC

ZEN:

MC? What are those? oMG ARE THOSE YOUR STORIES LEMME READ-

‘Zen, they’re called fanfiction’ ‘Still’

Do not write smut around this guy i stg the beast

SUPPORTIVE A F

Will fight anyone who hate comments “babe, chill” “Wym chill somEONE NEEDS TO APPRECIATE YOUR WORK!”

He’ll help you with your things! Like plotwist, some character names and such

babe can you put me there

will cry at romantically sad scenes of your stories and you just stare at him like ‘babe what the fuck’

Yoosung:

He probably found out by accident that you were a hardcore Luhan fan

“Hey MC, could I borrow your phone? Mine got broken and I need to call Seven.”

And when he saw the screen, he only saw a smiling Luhan selfie

YANDERE YOOSUNG

He was a bit confused. who is this girly dude that is here

After the call, he was stuttering to MC because he was so shy to admit so“M-MC, who w-was the guy i-in your phone?”“..Oh, that’s my idol!”

rELIEVED WHOO

A bit jealous, so he was all pouty until she realized lol

“Yoosung.. are you jealous?” “No.”

“Aw, it’s okay, Luhan be my idol but you’re always my number one!”

blush blush blush~

Jaehee:

same, probably

She would love listening to your theories about The Maze Runner, Harry Potter and some Percy Jackson .

Since she can read some chapters and so, she’ll probably add some theories too with you

Theories about Zen’s musicals, coffee, some nice breakfast? Sign her up!

She’ll comfort you when your favorite character would die *coughNEWTcough*

“It’s okay, MC, yes, he didnt deserve it, i’m sure.” “BUT STILL! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DIE!”

She would use some of the OST of the movies to calm you down after a bad day and it works. For her, just put in some Zen’s musicals and boom.

Overall, very supportive, sometimes would correct you in a good way, points out your mistake and adds a better one politely

Ah, loveher

Jumin:

what is fanart?

MC.. who are those men you are drawing? why are you not drawing me?

“Oh, Jumin, honey, they are my favorite characters! They are from FREE!

Free? What kind of business- “Dear it’s an anime-”

What is anime?

Although he does not understand what you mean, he still supports you!

“Jumin what are those heavy shopping bags?”

“Oh? These are art materials.”

“Okay then.”

“…”

“..?”

“… OH! ARE THOSE FOR ME?! OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, JUMIN!”

V mumbling in the distance: “He almost bought the whole store..”

Whenever you have art block or get frustrated and want to rip your hair out, he’s always there for you, trying to cheer you up. Keyword: Trying.He’ll give you Elizabeth 3rd to pat, give you some tips and lovely wordsHe’ll also hire some artists to help you with some things you are struggling with such a bab

He wants to take a photo of your drawing and when it was blurred, he called V over lmfao

SUPPORTIVE!

Saeyoung / 707:

WHO SAID COSPLAY?!!?!?!? YES BOI YES!

He would join your cosplays proudly. Crossdress or not

Giving makeup tips

MAID OUTFITS! MAID OUTFITS MAID OUTFITS!

He totally acts like a girl when he crossdress and you’re impressed

Probably dragged Saeran to cosplay Rin and Len Kagamine with him and you’re Miku/Kaito

Somehow, he’ll also win some Cosplay Contests with you guys and so

So, he always joins you and gets scolded by Vanderwood

Worth it though lmfaoo

“So.. MC…” “Lemme guess, we need to cosplay something again and you will crossdress?” “No, we cosplay as Ciel and you cosplay Elizabeth.”

He’d look good as Ciel omg yas.

“Yoosung you join us.” ;))

Overall, Supportive baby!

V/Jihyun Kim:

Let’s be real, if he found out you love Luhan, he’ll probably sit you down and say, “Darling, I figured you love this guy named Luhan and I got some photos of him when I went to China.”

And whEN YOU SQUEALED AND LOOKED AT THE PHOTOS HAPPILY, YOU BET YOUR ASS HE TOOK OUT HIS CAMERA AND PICTURED A SQUEALING YOU.

“Ahh! He’s so adorable! Oh my god, Jihyun I love you so much thank you!” when you pounced on him and peppered his face in kisses, he was so happy omg yes, mc, please make this baby happy he deserves it

“MC, Jumin has a photoshoot in China for a week soon and I’m the photographer, would you like to go?”

“YES!

He’d buy you some tickets to his concert.

“wait.. honey.. but-”

“Yes?”

“..Some of his songs..are.. uhm.. just.. not decent.”

“Its okay! I can handle it!”

And when Lu came, boy was scarred for his life.

“I’m sorry, Jihyun..”

He just grinned and kissed the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

But when you’d feel bad because it seems like you’re overshadowing him, you’ll sing a Luhan song on his birthday (DO NOT SING LU I STG GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN IF YOU WANNA SING LU HE”S INNOCENT DONT DRAG HIM WITH IT)

Saeran:

The fuck is this

THe fuck is that

Edgelord is not impressed lmfao

He’d still try to be supportive of your crazy anime things

But when he saw Kuroshitsuji, he totally joined you

Merch?

HELL YES LET”S BUY IT

He just loves the thought of Kuroshitsuji,

Loves the plots and murder scene

now edgelord is very very impressed

APPROVES

Ice cream, Kuroshitsuji and cuddles? He’ll love them very much!

He just loves those dark animes he really doesnt like anything else lmfao

ALSO AOT

HE LOVES IT

pLEASE BUY HIM MERcH IT MAKES HIM HAPPY AND LOVED PLEASE DO IT

#mystic messenger #requested #lol i messed up the first time rip #i had to edit it sorry #i mispelled saeran lmfao #zen #707 #yoosung #jihyun kim #reactions #admin jiyeon #jaehee kang #jumin han

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