#i'm trying to keep myself in the mindset that

[egg-emperor]

this bday feels more special than usual because there's a lot of big changes coming up in my life and this begins to kick that off in a sense so I've been reflecting on a bunch of stuff

I feel like I'm really on the other side of so much bad painful soul sucking shit now. like I feel I can truly confidently say it this time. FINALLY. I held onto bad things that were doing me so much harm mentally and physically for years and I really struggled to finally let go of a lot of things I should have for the past couple. but now it's really all over and like I can start to move on and heal for real

some huge changes to my personal life are coming up, most of which I'm not going to share but I'm pretty excited about and think will have a big positive impact on me. I'm working hard to make beneficial changes to my life in every way I can now in health and living, as exhausting as it can be with my constant chronic pain and fatigue. I finally have the will and determination to try

it's a waiting game in regards to my health with waiting on referrals but I've done what I've needed to so far with appointments to set it in motion and I'm proud of myself. after years of neglecting myself and my suspected condition, I've finally started it! and I've found out that stress factually affects it very badly, so I have to let go of the things that hurt and stress me out for good

I'm also truly accepting that I'm not a very well liked person to a lot of people. it doesn't matter because there are surely as many who like me too. I see kindness and support from others just as much as hate and I need to put all my focus and energy into the former alone. I want to look as grateful and appreciative as I am, not caught up in negativity. my mind can be a negative place but I'm working on it

and of course as usual, I'm going to keep being myself and following my heart and expressing my passion the way I want. because I'm never going to give up the things I enjoy and repress myself because of the disapproval of others

I feel like I can start looking forward and I'm feeling much more positive about things over all. in a few months time my living situation, hopefully my physical health, and my mindset will hopefully be improved. and it actually has me looking forward to seeing what the future holds

I've been through a lot of tough shit and pain and did some stupid shit along the way but I learned a lot about myself and what I want and need through it and I'm happy to finally be making all the right changes. I'm really glad I feel like I'm on the otherside of it, especially after how bad the past couple of years have been especially for me

and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has supported me and stuck around when I was struggling and will be here to see the better version of myself and enjoy my blog. it means the world to me 💜

now I'm gonna go out and have a good bday today!

[spaghett-onaplate]

sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳

#woohoo!! #some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy #some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice #honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out #but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans) #so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to-- #--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them?? #so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha #works in a situation like high school tbh #ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus #o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week #(recess is first and lunch is sceond) #i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice #mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow #'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim #and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch #so wahoo yippee :D #now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)

[seraphlin]

World hot and harsh, friends lovely and soft

#I say hot bc the heat is gonna melt me some day /lh #aanyway hey besties I am BACK again here #I'm so sorry for constantly complaining. u can always just mute my vent tags #I promise I'm not gonna be offended by it. your health matters more #I'm just. struggling #I feel bad. I feel really bad #I'm back here in this terrible state I used to be in and those irl around me are upset #rightfully so- I'm sure they're upset for a good reason. but my silly silly brain does not take that frustration well bc it makes me feel #small. and weak. and just. not good #I want encouragement I want to feel loved I want to feel safe to speak without being ridiculed and saying it's all my fault #I KNOW IT IS. I know damn well it's my fault. I know I need to help myself but your words are not helping #I can't do this alone. why do you only love me when it's convenient for you. why do you only care when you only feel it #why can't you see how distraught I am with my fucking self #do I need to cry? do I need to cry so badly in front of you to show it? #this isn't directed to anyone here btw. I hope thag much is obvious #makes me remember how I was already in my bed and my parents were asleep already #I was feeling horrible. terrible. intrusive thoughts taking over. a friend sent me a long letter to get me out of thag mindset and I cried #I cried so fucking much but also tried to keep quiet #but I cried. I cried and cried and just broke #I'm just. I'm so tired. I'm falling back into the brink of that terrible mindset thag I should be gone but I'm trying to Hold Myself Togethe #for the sake of my friends for the sake of myself. but mostly my friends #the clouds cry too (vent)

[muzzlemouths]

Psst. Just wanted to let you know that you're cool and I hope you have a really nice day today! You seem to be Goin Through It™ and I just wanted to let you know that we (your followers) like you no matter the quantity of stuff you're able to make at any given time (though we most certainly do like what you make, but that's not why most of us stay, I believe); you're very funny and have insightful opinions about writing, and you're always super nice when I stop by to say hi! Please remember to be kind to your mind and heart this upcoming Spring. I hope The Delights come into your life in leaps and bounds, and that you'll receive good news soon!!! <33

ooh...ohh.h.....th.ank you for the kind words........

#ohhhh i fought long and hard to not just. keep this in my inbox so i could stare at it for days #when i first read this my initial reaction was ''oh god is it that obvious'' #''am i like crashing and burning in real time on this blog. live on tv'' #which..FAIR YEAH LMAO #to be 100% transparent here i actually haven't been on this blog all day BECAUSE i was having a day where I was just like. #ahaha my shit Sucks and everybody's just humoring me #comparison kills and i have been stabbing myself like its the ides of march lately #and the fact that i haven't put anything new out is half because of that i'm sure #like the mindset of ''if i post nothing at all then i can't compare it to [insert other authors here]'' #WHICH IS SOOOO STUPID I KNOW I KNOW #self sabotage is my middle name its a bad habit i'm fighting daily but it's HARD #this has just turned into a Whining Session oh no #there's a reason i moved all of this to tags lmao #ANYWAY ANYWAY. GENUINELY I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU #from the bottom of my heart asks like these keep me from going over the deep end #it amazes me each and every day that so many of you choose not only to follow me but to STAY despite my general shenanigans and thinly veil #like i'll have days (like today) where i'm on the floor kicking and screaming over NOTHING and y'all just sit back and wait for me to get m #and it makes me so genuinely soft. the patience and kindness you show me #i will try my HARDEST to be kind to my mind and heart i promise. I promise. #if not for myself than for everyone out there continuously showing their support for me despite The Horrors #and I hope you're right i hope The Delights are somewhere in view soon enough #lord knows we could all use 'em #thank you again #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #edit: oh tumblr cut off like half of these paragraphs #thats probably for the best. you can just guess what i said LMAO

[lonesomedotmp3]

guy who didn't take their stop getting panicked and freaking out at everything and having unbearable heart palpitations and being unable to sleep pill voice guess who's feeling panicked and won't stop freaking out at everything and is having unbearable heart palpitations and can't sleep!! el oh el!

#i was like it's fine i don't even need them. dude there is a reason you went to all that effort to get them... #IDIOT!! #i know i complain on here alllll the time (follow for more complaining!) but you have no idea the extent to which i get through the day by #just not thinking about it. or thinking about it for two minutes then forcing myself to just. move on to anything else. #if i let myself spiral (like i did february) all of the time i simply would stop taking part in my life #because it's unbearable if you think about it. so i don't. but the constant pointed Not Thinking About It is exhausting #and the constant enduring is exhausting the constant Taking What I Can Get is EXHAUSTING (hence. the february breakdown) #and now nothing is BETTER it's just. child psychology voice kill yourself or get over it. and so i got over it. but that's not LIVING. #and my parent's think i'm just fine now because i'm fucking on the pill or whatever and i'm trying anxiety meds etc etc #but fundamentally the truth is the same (i'm not built to be happy and i wasn't built for this life) #and i'm just back to the trying! the trying and trying and trying and swallowing pills and practicing tai chi and #opening the windows and eating oranges and sharing poems and appreciating the little things #i'm tired of appreciating little things. i want big things! #and no i won't kill myself. if you keep living there is some chance life will become worth living at some point however low #and if you die then that chance drops to zero. so fine. whatever. i'll get over it #but this isn't good. this isn't a good life! every day i have to wake up and remember there's nothing here for me!!!! #YES every day is a renewed chance that life will become good but how can i not be burdened from every day that came before that was just #nothing? #something has to change and I'VE tried changing i'm ALWAYS changing it's always ME #a new mindset a new coping mechanism and new positive mental attitude #but that doesn't fix that fundamentally life as it is for me is Not Worth It. ok. if i have to live the rest of my life trying to rewire my #brain so it feels whatever sense of hope it can from the Tiny Little Things that aren't completely miserable and desolate like a stranger's #kindness or a nice treat from a shop or a pretty skyline. if that's all i'll ever get? #what are we doing. #in conclusion: let's create life 2 where everything is so so beautiful for everyone

[noxtivagus]

T__T final fantasy

#🌙.rambles #bruh i remember why i'm so romantic now #i hate final fantasy................ #BUT GOD THE LYRICS OF. SUTEKI DA NE. EYES ON ME. MELODIES OF LIFE. KISS ME GOOD-BYE. SOBBBBBBB #i want to throw my phone or my laptop across my room! bury my head in a pillow n scream! #the the. EMOTION IN THEM. hurts just the way i like it lol #STAR-CROSSED ? OH MY GOD I HATE FINAL FANTASY FOR MAKING THAT ONE OF MY FAV TROPES WTF #THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING REALIZING HOW ROMANTIC I AM BCS OF INFLUENCES LIKE FINAL FANTASY #'darling so share with me / your love if you have enough / your tears if you're holding back / or pain if that's what it is' #'just reach me out then you will know that you're not dreaming' i will Cry #this is so cringe n i've always been a bit 'weird' but #sob hermes ffxiv kin bcs i still fit in thanks to my kindness n my intelligence . but it feels lonely #frankly as long as i stop caring about that n just really focus on just being myself as i always have. i'll definitely be happier . #be closer to that inner peace. n while i definitely keep on improving in that regard. i got the mindset n all #it's hard still bcs i can tell there's smth that's holding me back significantly. am i afraid that i'll be left out? alone? #i don't want to be what i'm not. but i'm afraid that. everything i've already found could just go away. disappear and leave #n i'll never really find a place that stays that i belong in. i'm too young to say for sure but i think #the world was cruel then. I ALREADY HAD TRUST ISSUES THEN THANKS TO OLD FRIENDS N THEN LMFAOOO I GOT HURT MORE #this is why i love helping others ! i try to make sure that people are being listened to in convos. i try to really read n understand *you* #fuck my anxiety though n i guess that child in me's still afraid to let my guard down. #there's sm i WANT to do for others n then. added with my own self. it's so overwhelming n it often feels like i failed everyone #we all owe ourselves the same kindness we give to others. it really gets hard though. bcs god i beat myself up for not being enough #especially for others :') like god i always want to help but it gets so hard to reach out n then i get hurt even more by my incompetence #cries i got distracted but back to ff..... i hate being romantic this way bcs i cld find some witty way to. #god no wait i'm not gna bring that up

[dredshirtroberts]

y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.

i do a little today though.

#i'm probably going to feel this way the rest of the week #got some Stressful Stuff on my plate - none of it is world ending no matter what my brain thinks #but it's stressful and needs to get done #we already took care of One of the big major things just today because i was having a breakdown about it #because peeks threw up on my favorite shirt after having thrown up all over my bed yesterday and i'm like #she does this when there's a lot of change and stress going on and we've just moved and also we're attempting peace negotiations between he #and Solaire and it's. y'know. hampered by the fact that she's poorly socialized and both of them are dumb as rocks #and so she's stressed out because of the myriad of changes happening to her #and i'm stressed out because she's stressed out PLUS all the other bureaucratic nonsense i have in my brain #AND there's external stress in my foundkin (we're workshopping ways i can integrate the Family Label to apply to folks who weren't terrible #to me when i was a child) and it's just like #i had a really good day yesterday #i've been having pretty good days in general and i knew the crash would come and i knew that i'd get stressed about these things to the max #and that's. like. I know the science and paths behind how we got here #but i also hate that i'm here in this mindset with these things and i also cannot do the laundry myself after all #first because stairs are not always conquerable (they are Exceptionally Not For Me as of yesterday to the point where i'm going to have to #limit myself to the bathroom that doesn't have 2 stairs down to it even if it's closer in the moment) #and second because i ABHOR the texture of tide pods but i cannot deny that they are useful and so much easier to use/keep tidy #than a jug of Cleaning Goo is #so like. i'm embarrassed that all my bedding needs washing and i'm embarrassed that my shirt needs washing #and i'm embarrassed that i make dirty clothes in general and i *am* getting over that #it's slow but the fact that physically laundry is not a task i can complete on the wet side of things #(i still really enjoy the process of folding and sorting though i don't get around to it quickly) #but like. this is one of the reasons why i get freaked out about the fact that i create laundry that needs doing #even if it's not actually my fault (i'm trying very hard to remember it's not my fault the cat threw up on my clothes #and them being put away would have meant she probably would have thrown up on something else that needed to be cleaned #like the bed for example - i cannot put my whole bed away so she doesn't throw up on it) #becuase i feel like i'm burdening someone else to do a whole bunch of work for *me* and i can't do anything in return #(as if i haven't been very deliberately trying to keep up with the dishes daily this whole week so i don't feel like i contribute nothing t #the household)

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #because of all the artists I follow and the art I see I'm able to muster up some art when the muse sings. #so thanks I was able to sketch something for the guy I'm getting to know and maybe will be dating at some point #was thinking about whether to call him cute or not and I think yeah I do think he's cute. #I've been using all my brain power to min-max the interactions we've had without jumping too quickly into the deep end #which is why I don't call him my boyfriend because we've only met irl twice but I think there's no reason why we won't escalate to dating #provided I can not fuck things up #prolly not healthy to have the mindset that I'm responsible for whether things go well or not #not healthy to have the mindset that I'm a stick of dynamite and if I screw things up it'll all blow to shit. #idk. I still feel that way. #we'll see. #either way he's my in to a whole other friend group of coworkers and their friends since we got matched by a coworker/friend #my coworker his friend so I have higher hopes since it's not an online match. #he seems pretty cool and I'm doing my best to spread out the interaction and not get too caught up in his dms #and I was the one to be like “yeah this hangout has gone pretty long” because I know I tend to drag things out longer than they should go. #even if the other person is engaged it's functionally great to make a lunch date last the whole afternoon into the evening. #we both have things to do so as fun as it is to hang out for five hours I'm trying to keep emotionally healthy. #enough distance to keep perspective on things. #my last relationship the other person pushed for more and more hangout time and more and more closeness and I think that's what fucked it #I need to keep my distance to stay emotionally healthy #and honestly? I'm proud of myself for learning that and keeping it in mind. #I've had some hard experiences to learn that lesson but now I'm going to put it to good use and maybe get some dick again. #it's deadass been since October. deadass halfa year since I got dick. #I fucked someone more recently than that but fucking and getting dick are not the same thing. #anyway. new relationship. wish me luck.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i WILL show up to the trial day for the preparatory class tomorrow no matter how much i dont want to and after that i guarantee NOTHING

#broadcasting my misery #vent #this is a lie i guarantee i will keep tumbling through life appearing functional and melting down in the privacy of my own home afterwards #<- trying to jinx my naturally contrarian ass into taking care of myself for once #god i'm tired #i am. slightly peeved. #around 11am i was like ''i think i'm going to go home'' and my friend was like WHAT nooooooo what are you going to do at home anyway #and we ended up hanging out w another friend until fucking 4pm #and she was like oooooh guys i think i'm gonna go else i wont have energy tomorrow #haha bitch where was this mindset when i told you i was going to go home #i don't know why i keep like. telling people stuff like ''i'm [emotion] i'm going to [thing]'' #and they just plan stuff w me anyway #and like. i can't decide for them what's important or not to them. so i make an effort and i participate to the best of my ability. #but it KEEPS HAPPENING #OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN #it does not stop #i can barely keep the violent impulses down tbh i act like im on crack in public #bc if i dont walk around and spasm like an epileptic stray cat im gonna start giving in to the urge to dive under a bus or punch someone #i have nearly uncontrollable fits of hitting my head against walls when my entire life i was too chicken to do it despite trying to #i gained about fifteen to twenty fucking kilograms in the last three months #because i cannot fucking stop binging and EVERYBODY'S LIFE seems to revolve around food #my friends are incapable of hanging out without going to buy smth no matter at which time we get out of school #my other friends seem incapable of not checking calories VERY LOUDLY and calculating how much they lost walking around #my mom and i are home and awake at the same time abt two hours a day and one and a half of that is spent making/eating dinner lmao #im making the effort holy shit i am but i'm going to start being violent soon #i've started trying to strangle my cat twice in the past week i think #i'll show up tomorrow bc it's an opportunity and im not stupid enough to miss that by lack of self esteem #but really what is it good for #my friend isnt very delicate in her way to say it but she's right. i'm not cut out for being normal like that #i can sorta seem functional but you very quickly start seeing i don't know how to dress

[wetpapert0wel]

Hey, I saw your tags on the one post about abuse, and I wanted to reach out and say that I also struggled a lot and hurt a lot of people during a very low part of my life - and I’m proud of you, and of me, for doing our best to change ❤️🫂 I hope recovery for you is going well, brother, and that you have a great day/night. 🫶

aw thank you !! 🥺 same to you, homie. i hope everything's going well, & i'm proud of you for doing your best, too <3 🫂

it's been hard, especially since i lost my most recent job a year or two ago at this point, which has kind of put my brain into an isolative bubble. but i'm definitely still trying to be my best possible self.

#ask #ive been keeping myself out of social spaces for a long time to avoid relapsing. but i don't think my isolation is doing me too many favors. #so i'm trying to open up again. and that's been hard. but i'm doing my best #i've been doing better about catching my shitty behavior and i'm slowly getting used to like. going back on the shit i say #and apologizing for it. because i know it's shitty. and it feels shitty for me to backpedal. #especially when i try so hard not to say shit i don't mean lmao- i go so far as to make a point in speaking in definitives 🥴 #because at the end of the day. i Don't know everything. and for me to confidently say that i know something only to be proven incorrect #damages my pride ig lmao- & i have my mom 2 thank 4 that mindset 🥴 tho that's no excuse for me to stay shitty. #i don't Want to be too proud to admit my faults. & i'm creeping and crawling away from that attitude. #it's been easier since my mom's been doing the same; she's trying her best to do better. and i can tell that she's trying. #she's more patient with my snippiness than she used to be. and that's been a big help. #we're all doing the best we can. especially with the resources we have; some are better off than others. #but we're all still trying our best to not be shitty. #(unrelated but on the note of not speaking in definitives. one lady was asking if i could add a gift card to her already-in-progress order-) #(& i said 'im not sure if i can do that' & so i asked my manager & she also said 🤷‍♂️. & when she came up & asked the customer what was up) #(the customer said ''ur cashier (me) said i couldn't add this to my order when other people have done it for me'') #(& i said '...thats not what i said.' & she said 'yes it was. u said i couldn't do this' & my manager was like 'w/e we'll do it this way') #(& i had 2 stop myself from doubling down & telling the customer that i make a point not to speak in definitives-) #(-therefore i Know for a Fact that i said ''i'm not sure.'' lmao. of all the things i was sure of in that transaction. that was it. lol)

[somuchstrdst]

x

#okay #i need to get my mindset back to uni otherwise it's gonna be very hard for me to keep up with everything #so i'm gonna try to indulge myself with some fanfic i still have left to read #from that list i made in september with like 50 fics #now i have 15 to read CAN YOU BELIEVE? #so i have left aside some to read throughout this week #and after that i'll use my free time for uni stuff #bc apparently i'll start my new working hours this week #so i need to find how to balance having uni assignments and working 8 hours a day :D #but i still need to feel like i have control over my free time to enjoy myself yk? #i'm finishing watching spn tomorrow #gilmore girls is also on the way to finishing #soon i'll be running out of things that i used to get my mind off my responsibilities #i already traced my schedule with the due dates i have for assignments #so it's gonna be a rough two months #gotta get the most of my free time while i still can #personal x

[angelkittycore]

if someone isn't posting and isn't responding to you then its quite obvious they haven't seen your messages, probably because they're afk and/or asleep?

#i got accused of disrespecting a narcissist because i was asleep when they decided to yell at me for saying their post sucked #the post in question was the one about how getting revenge against your abuser is continuing the cycle of abuse #mutual abuse is a myth #you cannot abuse your abuser back because the majority of abuse is an imbalance of power at its core #not every survivor copes the way you do by forgiving and/or forgetting or letting go of their anger #i cannot speak for anybody but myself but reclaiming my anger is a huge part of my healing process #because i was groomed to think it was a toxic emotion and that it would make people be right about me if i were to show it #continuing the cycle of abuse is about how the abused become abusers with others #especially with their own kids #it's not about flipping the dynamic between the victim and the abuser already involved #this kind of mindset is toxic positivity and toxic recovery #now i'm not saying people should go out of their way out there and start actually hurting the abuser how they were hurt #but i am saying that if people happen to do that then i honestly don't care and i think it's deserved #anyway this was a fun way to wake up and get online /s #i am not responsible for your impatience im sorry but im just not #thats a thing you have to work on for yourself and you need to stop doing that #i understand it might trigger rsd to hear something like that because i know it did in me when i was younger but its the truth #you cant keep trying to hurt people because you thought they were ignoring you when they werent #anyway sometimes your posts just suck because they genuinely suck and not because you worded things wrong #your edited post still sucks because its still implying that getting revenge is abusive #its not lol. #let survivors cope and heal the way they think is best for them

[entropyunending]

i think, for the first time ever, i was able to pull myself out of an anxiety spiral. i don't know if it will last, but at least for the moment, i can't do that. and i didn't. i won't. i can't just keep listening to these thoughts, these fears. taking them so seriously i inevitably make them come true. the constant inaction due to fear, shutting down because i'm too terrified of what may or may not be, what may or may not happen. i've fucked myself over enough times with that. i don't want to keep living my life like that. i can't keep living my life like that.

#not vent #hope #? #idk #i really don't know whether i'll be able to continue this mindset #but i know i can't keep living like this either #i can't keep fucking myself over because i'm too afraid #i cannot keep living like this. i really really cannot. #all my fears of never getting anywhere never getting better or getting what i want or need #they will come true if i continue as i am #and i think i need to let the fear of that becoming true be more powerful than my fear of what may go wrong if i try #reminder to self #<- so i can look back at this if i lose this strength again #to see that i did it before and i can do it again #that i cannot live a life like this #and that i cannot take these thoughts too seriously

[smittenbyschmidt]

.

#i am big stressed but i'm trying to keep a positive mindset #bc i don't want to psych myself out and give myself even more anxiety than i already have LOL

[elicathebunny]

FINALLY CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HIGHEST SELF IN 2024.

You are going to STOP scrolling endlessly for self-help and advice content and you are going to STOP and apply the knowledge you have endlessly gained. Obtaining help and advice knowledge is useless if it goes through one ear and comes straight out the other. STOP becoming addicted to the idea of scrolling and scrolling for your problems yet you already have the resources to fix them. A fool is a person who cannot decide to take action despite having access to the information needed to do so.

BREAKING FREE FROM THE SCROLLING CYCLE

Learning and Applying is one thing, but Learning and Staying Stationary is literally brain rot. You're addicted to the idea of change and the end result, but you never take the steps towards discipline with a personal structure to get that result. You keep looking for quick fixes and easy hacks, but life is not a quick fix and no hack can elevate your life from 0% to 100% without visiting the rest of the numbers first.

TAKE A BREAK FROM SCROLLING

Take time away from your usual scrolling and learn to be on your own. Learn your own ways of self-care, learn what works for you and understand what you need, because nobody is the same. Following a millionaire's morning routine will not make you a millionaire. This routine has worked for someone to feel and be productive in the morning and was probably curated over the years to suit their current lifestyle. So, seeing other people's successes and comparing their working ways to your life is unrealistic if you are not in a position to implement them. Going straight from 0% (Being unproductive and procrastinating) to 100% (Being incredibly Productive and in tune with self) will not be sustainable for someone who has not built the discipline and the inner foundations required for it. STOP seeing information online and taking it without ALTERING anything to your personal situation.

STOP ASKING HOW TO AND JUST DO

"How to lose weight, How to become more social, How to do this and that"

Most of these things you ALREADY know the answer to. Everybody knows that to lose weight, you need to burn more than you consume. There is literally no other way, no magic and no secret hack, just that simple fact. I guarantee you know that to become more social you just have to be social. Learn to be comfortable in social situations which will require inner work, but it's not a difficult concept. Most of us know what we need to do, yet we still try to find quick fixes or another way that same message is presented to us differently. We act as if we are improving and developing on our "improvement" journey yet we are just finding coping ways to feel like we are moving, yet we are still in the exact same place as before. I know you know what to do, I know you have researched what you should do and ways you can do it. So why are you not doing it? Why are you still not where you want to be? If you are not where you want to be, then what you're currently doing needs to change. You cannot do the exact same thing you've been doing for years and expect a different outcome. You need to curate a routine suited to your needs that is realistic and achievable to adopt.

LEARNING TO MOVE ON YOUR OWN, STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO FUEL YOUR SUCCESS JOURNEY LISTEN TO: NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU BY JULIENHIMSELF Make yourself your safe space, your foundation. When you see yourself in the mirror you should be able to tell yourself "I love you", you should be so sure in what you do that nobody else can contradict what you believe in yourself, this is the end goal of self-improvement. Many of us have put aside our goals because we "are not ready", "people may judge us" or "I need to be/achieve ___ to.." Now don't get me wrong, I'm on this journey with you. I write on this blog to teach my brain how to think in the higher mindset that I'm creating for myself. I too have thoughts like this which is why in 2024 we are going to break out of our old selves to make room for our new selves together. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. If you're mood and self-worth are controlled by other people's opinions, then you will never advance further with yourself and will remain stationary. You have to stop allowing other people to determine whether you are allowed to pursue your desires or if you shouldn't because of fear of rejection. Don't take life too seriously, we are only here for so much time. So what if people make fun of you? In a few years will you look back and be proud and fulfilled of your past or feel regret and disappointment? LISTEN TO: WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH BY JULIANHIMSELF + LISTEN TO: HOW TO DETACH BY VICKITA TRIVEDI

The only way to get to 0%-100% is by doing.

Embody your potential

#self worth #dream girl #that girl #self improvement #improve #self growth #self gratitude #new years #highest self

[ramshacklefey]

Something I've been trying to articulate to myself for a while here, but I wish there were more discussion about the particular experiences of trans men who are attracted to men. Especially the way that it relates to our experiences before coming out and during transition.

A lot of the conversations I see online and in academia focus on the experiences and overlap between trans men and butch lesbians, which is just not a narrative that resonates with me. There has been no point in my life at which I identified as a lesbian, or even as particularly attracted to women in general (something something sexuality is complicated). And it is only recently that I've really been able to let myself jive with being a butch man.

So, what did that experience look like for me?

It looked like trying desperately to perform the right kind of femininity so that straight guys would be attracted to me. Admittedly, it was a "not like other girls" sort of femininity, but I suspect a lot of trans guys and straight women will understand me when I say that this particular kind of femininity is still... very constricting. You gotta be "tough" of course, and have the right sorts of interests, and not care too much about your looks, but at the end of the day still be pretty, not too loud, and pretty willing to give ground for straight men to feel cool. You absolutely cannot be butch, because butch is for lesbians, and you want to be attractive to men.

And then I came out, and now I was a man, so I was free of all of that, right? Right?

Well, turns out there's a whole lot to unpack and unlearn there, and doing that takes a long time. For the first several years of my transition, I was still stuck in this mindset of needing to adhere to all the same constraints I had been under before. The guy I was dating at the time didn't help with this, and I almost said that's another story, but it isn't. The fact that I was willing to keep dating a guy who wanted me to stay pretty and feminine, who told me that body hair was gross, and who in a thousand other little ways made it very clear that I would only stay lovable if I stayed feminine... the fact that I was ok with that, it says a lot about where my mind was at.

I'm sure that a lot of lesbians can relate to some of this, and yet. Becoming who I am, genuinely relaxing into myself and unfolding in the way that I needed to, that process was undeniably and indelibly marked by my experiences as someone who has always been attracted to and wanted to attract men.

#trans men