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loveywon · 1 year

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♡𓂃 ALWAYS BE HERE !

part 2 of START NOW !

pairing: jungwon x gn!reader

synopsis: after being stuck with jungwon in a new and unfamiliar world, you start developing newfound feelings about him.

wc: 4.0k+

warnings: fluff! there’s a baby, one (1) mention of throwing up, the fluff in this is so sickening seriously i feel gross, i think that's it tbh, not proofread as per usual

a/n: surprise!! thank you guys sm for 800 notes on my first fic, im literally experiencing whiplash from it. hope this was written well to your likings, i love you all and thank you guys again<333.

you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face.

jungwon has basically adapted the routine within the first week, between taking care of the kid that is apparently yours and his job that he only found out two days ago because he got a call saying “you’re gonna get fired if you keep skipping work like this” from sunghoon. with a look at his checking account, his eyes almost popped out of his head with how much money was in there. when he showed you, you simply shrugged. of course jungwon was going to be successful, with how his high school life is (now, was), he’s bound to live a fulfilling life. he’s taken aback by your nonchalance to the money in the account, and you have to swallow your pride down to admit vocally to him that you always admired his dedication to the academic school life.

speaking of, you found yourself swallowing your pride often. almost too often, you think, but you feel like its character development, or at least it’s what jungwon says. he’s done a great job at making sure you’re not too overwhelmed in this new life that you two have to adapt, and you feel kind of bad that you’re not really doing much with helping out. you do try, really! it’s just the fact that not being around kids often is a tad bit hard and being thrown into a situation where you have one of your own is more difficult than you thought it would be. jungwon does a great job at teaching you the basics, and he always reassures you that you’re doing great with the baby, even if it’s just holding her or feeding her.

you also find yourself being more open with jungwon. it still feels foreign, and you always hesitate still and almost back out often times, but you’re determined to stick to your promise and to at least try, because jungwon has been nothing but an angel to you ever since, and the newfound realization that he has been pining for you this entire time makes you want to try harder for him. you’ve confided in him and you start to feel more safe around him as well, and admittedly, it’s something you never thought would happen, but when jungwon tells you every moment that has made him fall harder for you, you start to feel fuzzy and warm, even giggling a little. jungwon feels over the moon, like he’s absolutely won at life. he doesn’t want to leave.

on the other hand, you want to leave. as cute as the baby is and nice the house is, something is still off and you don’t know how jungwon does everything so naturally and pretends like everything is so normal when it’s so far from reality. neither of you have figured out how the two of you got here, because there was quite literally nothing to go off of. every night you wonder if you’ll ever be able to go back to high school, but now you’re letting yourself fall into the daily routine you and jungwon curated.

the sunlight shines through the blinds, and you’re already awake. every morning feels like deja vu, and you’re not used to sleeping on a foreign mattress. jungwon lays on the floor beside you, a blanket wrapped around him like a burrito. he insisted on sleeping on the floor because he didn’t want to pressure you, even though you assured him it was fine, but he still was stubborn and laid out his own makeshift bed beside you. it’s a sweet gesture, you think, and every night you invite him to sleep up on the bed because it can’t be comfortable to sleep on the floor, but he still refuses and makes himself comfy.

you lean down, poking his shoulder. he stirs, but he’s still asleep. you smile slightly at his cute sleeping state, but you slap a hand over your mouth when you catch yourself. something you’re not used to is smiling at something whenever jungwon does something because you’re normally grimacing in disgust. you decide to let him sleep in and try to take care of the baby yourself since he’s been doing everything lately. he must’ve been so exhausted, and you feel yourself frowning.

you roll yourself out of bed, making your way to the baby’s room. she blinks her eyes open as soon as she hears the door knob turn, and she reaches her small arms out for you. “hi, sweetheart, had a good sleep?” you ask, even though you know you’ll only get random babbles as a reply. you tickle her side and she giggles. you feel a fuzzy feeling again, and you admire the baby for a few minutes. one thing that ‘future you’ didn’t put in the scrapbook was the baby’s name, so you and jungwon refer to the baby as the baby. it feels almost too adulting to give the baby a name, so honestly you’ve been avoiding it but jungwon doesn’t bring it up either so you assume it’s mutual. you go over to the little counter by the wall and start making the baby’s milk, remembering what jungwon had taught you last week. pouring the milk into the baby bottle, you walk back to the crib and pick the baby up, opting to sit on the carpeted floor and feeding her the bottle. you smile as you simply look at her, almost fondly but it’s still off.

jungwon walks in, rubbing his eyes groggily. he woken up not too long ago, and upon not seeing you in the bed, he almost panics. he thought you somehow had went back to high school or something, and he was just left here. he sighs in relief when he heard the milk machine stir loudly from the baby’s room. after his vision’s finally clear and sees you feeding the baby, he matches your smile and sits down on the floor across from you. the only reason why he has not brought up the baby’s name is because you haven’t, and he thinks he knows you enough to know that you’re not used to this new world, and he also knows its scary to put a label on things and naming the baby feels almost too official, like the two of you are stuck here. but jungwon doesn’t feel stuck, and he almost feels content in this new life. he has you now, with him, what more could he ask for? just like you, he wonders if you two will ever go back. but he’s more worried if you’ll still try to reciprocate his feelings for you if you two go back, and if you will forget everything that happened in this life. he’ll go back to square one, and he’s not sure if he can go through it again. although if it’s for you, he knows he’ll go through hell and back if it meant being with you.

he leans forward a bit to watch the baby drink from her bottle, and your gaze changes from the baby to jungwon. it’s a quiet moment, no things are spoken between the two of you and it’s definitely less awkward than it would have been a week ago. silence is now comfortable to you, which is very odd considering you hate any silent moments and you always have to break the silence whenever it happens. “she is so cute,” jungwon whispers, but still loud enough that you can hear. you nod in agreement, she really is cute, and she took a lot of features from jungwon. the resemblance is almost uncanny and you think it was obvious from the start that the baby is definitely jungwon’s. the baby finishes her bottle and pops it out of her mouth, and jungwon takes it to the built in sink on the counter to wash it. she’s dozing off in your arms, and you swear you almost loudly coo at her but you catch yourself in time. you stand up and lay her down gently in the crib as jungwon finishes washing the baby bottle.

you two make your way downstairs and you sit down on the kitchen island with the scrapbook laid out in front of you. this would make it the second time you’ve looked through the book, and you wonder if you missed anything from the first time you flipped through it. jungwon busies himself with the stove, preparing breakfast for the both of you. you lean your head on one hand, opening up the scrapbook. you don’t remember ever picking up the hobby of scrapbooking, but then again, it feels like you’ve aged ten years, and a lot of things can change in ten years. you also think a lot of things can change in a mere week.

as you continue to flip through the pages, you stop at a page that had pictures of you and jungwon in front of different landscapes around the world. it’s secretly your favorite page because you’ve always wanted to travel, so to know that you did, even if you don’t recall, it makes you feel a little giddy. maybe when you go back home, you’ll get to experience it. as you’re scanning through the pictures, one of the tapes keeping the pictures on the page loosens up, and you try to fix it until you see handwriting on the back. you furrow your brows in confusion, taking the entire tape off and flipping the picture over. the entire scrapbook didn’t have any writing, so seeing something written on the back was new to you. and not only was it your own handwriting, but what was written on it gave you goosebumps. you always felt odd about this entire situation, even though it was quite obvious that you’re currently in the future, it was just the question of why and how.

‘you’ll be here one day! 2/17/2034’

you flip the photo back around and messily tape it back onto the scrapbook page before shutting it and shoving it to the side. you try your best to think nothing of it, and it could mean literally anything if you think about it deep enough, right? wrong, you frown. it’s too oddly specific, and it’s like you knew that you want to experience traveling. you stare off into space, your bottom lip capturing between your teeth. jungwon finishes cooking, and he places a plate in front of you before taking a seat beside you. he looks at you when you don’t make a move to eat, leaning forward to see your face. he waves a hand in your face, calling out your name. you snap out of it again, and you shake your head. “sorry,” you mumble, grabbing the fork he gives you and taking a bite out of the eggs. “mm, this is so good! seriously, how did i not know you can cook like this?” you turn to him, quickly changing the topic before he could ask what was wrong. you know that you’re technically hiding and guarding yourself again, but you let yourself just this once because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re only inconveniencing jungwon with your thoughts.

he shrugs, “because you always fought with me back then?” he answers obviously, and you let out a silent “right”. the week has felt like an entire year so you almost forget that you literally hated him just a week ago. “sorry. but you know, why didn’t you ever clear up the misunderstanding with me? we could have been friends then,” you ask, it’s simply out of curiosity because it’s not like it would have changed anything now. he shrugs again, “i don’t think you would have listened to me, to be honest. you probably would’ve death glared at me and killed me with silence… and i guess i was just content with you bickering with me because you were still talking to me. i don’t know if you still would’ve talked to me if i cleared it up, and i still want to talk to you.” he replies, smiling more to himself because he thinks it’s kind of funny.

“ohh. that’s fair, i guess. i probably wouldn’t have talked to you if you cleared it up, to be honest as well. would have moved on with my life and not think twice about it,” you shrugged, continuing to eat your breakfast. you always play the nonchalance role, but jungwon always has a way with his words that make butterflies flutter in your stomach and it almost makes you feel queasy even. “but, i still want to talk to you too.” you smile at him, and he returns your smile. he thinks you’ve definitely put in effort with tolerating him, because a week ago you probably would’ve spilled your guts if you heard what he said, and he appreciates your efforts. he’s still not really expecting an ‘i like you back’ from you, he still thinks its unrealistic. it doesn’t mean he’ll stop trying and vying for you.

you finish your plate and grab jungwon’s empty plate to the sink to wash, and he watches idly since the baby is still asleep and there isn’t much to do. you think jungwon’s already used to the new life, but you really couldn’t be more wrong. he’s used to taking care of himself already, which is why it comes to natural to him, but he’s really not used to the whole thing of you being nice with him and the fact that there is a baby in the room above that is his. his baby, your baby. he gets fuzzy thinking about it, which is why he thinks he’s trying his best to take care of the baby with little to no experience. his cousins are the closest thing to experience he has.

once you finish with the dishes, the two of you silently make your way onto the couch. it’s not really awkward silence, as again, you feel more comfortable around jungwon now. but you’ve been itching to ask him the question that you think about every night, and you think that it’s been an entire week; he must want to go home, right? so you ask, “hey, jungwon?” he perks his head up at your voice, wide eyes giving you his full attention and you melt a little bit unknowingly. “do you know…if we’ll ever go back?” you question and his brows raise in response. he purses his lips into a thin line, breaking eye contact with you to think. he knows his answer is something you don’t really want to hear, but he wants to be honest with you.

“no… or well, i don’t know. but it’s not so bad here, is it? i think it’s kind of nice…” he answers you, but his voice fades out towards the end of his sentence because he knows you disagree. he sees the way you lie awake in bed, silently hoping to wake up to your childhood bed and return back to high school normally. you, however, don’t expect his answer. yes, it it’s not bad here. but you really miss home and your high school friends, and you feel like you’ll never be used to this new life that you and jungwon were thrown into. you don’t respond to him, and you slump into the couch a little bit. he meets your eyes again, and even though you’re looking straight ahead and not him, he slumps with you and leans a little bit towards you. his scent fills your senses, and if he didn’t smell so good you definitely would have pushed him away immediately. but it’s jungwon, so you don’t.

he blows your hair in a playful manner, and it sticks to your face annoyingly. “hey!” you laugh as you push hair out of your face, finally meeting his gaze. he gives you a smile that you know and love, a smile that makes you forget what the two of you were talking about earlier. “even if we don’t get out of here, i’ll still be here for you,” he says sincerely, and you know it’s sincere with the way his eyes shine as he looks at you with so much admiration that it makes you feel like jello. you don’t doubt his words for a second, so you nod, giving him a slight smile. “thank you. me too, even though i know i don’t really do much around here,” you mumble, pouting slightly because you feel bad for him taking most of the responsibilities and setting aside his worries for taking care of you and the baby.

jungwon simply shrugs, “you being here is enough for me.”

another two long days pass, and you’re snuggled up next to the baby in the master's bedroom where you and jungwon sleep. you and the baby are both fast asleep, even though you tried to stay awake until jungwon got home from his work. you’ve stayed up the past week whenever he’d go to work, but you suppose the sleepless nights have finally caught up to you. jungwon announces that he’s home from downstairs, and is appalled to not see you watching television or something in the living room. he assumes something is happening with the baby upstairs, so he quickly rushes up the steps and enters the baby’s room to only find neither of you there. he panics a little, and it feels a little bit like deja vu when you weren’t in bed that one morning. he prays that you didn’t find a way to leave, somehow taking the baby with you. he rushes to your shared bedroom, only opening the door to see you and the baby cuddled up together, eyes closed in a slumber.

he thinks he must’ve done something in his past life to get such a beautiful sight in front of him, with his own eyes.

he smiles at the two of you, before deciding to change into clean clothes so he can join you two in the bed. he decides, for just this once, he’ll let himself be selfish and enjoy this domestic moment. you feel the bed dip beside you, and it stirs you awake. you turn around, only to meet the soft eyes of jungwon. “i’m sorry, did i wake you?” he asks quietly, careful to not wake the baby up. you shake your head, “it’s okay. how was work?” you whisper back, and this conversation feels so real, it’s so domestic and you feel sick. mentally, the two of you are still teenagers so even having this conversation feels so surreal and you don’t know if you like it or not. you do know, however, that you like jungwon. you feel pushed to your limit, and everything that has happened made you realize a few things about yourself that you didn’t know before. you couldn’t ask for anyone better to be stuck with.

“it was alright. are you tired?” he replies. his voice is laced with such genuine concern for you, and you can’t help but bury your head further into the pillow and towards his chest. jungwon’s taken aback slightly with this change of position, but he doesn’t show it, or at least you choose to not point it out. “i like you, so much. it makes me feel physically sick, not gonna lie.” you confess suddenly in a quiet whisper, and this time, it’s obvious that jungwon is shocked. if it weren’t for the silent white noise of the air conditioning and nothing else, he would have missed what you said but the words ‘i like you’ rings in his head and he has to remind himself that the baby is still sleeping beside the two of you. his absence in words make you feel even more sick; did his feelings for you disappear? you can understand it, if that’s the case. being stuck with someone for more than a week makes it easier to stop liking someone. you fear that’s what happened.

“i literally can’t even believe this right now,” he whispers under his breath, and your head shoots up to look at him. his eyes are brighter than ever, you think it’s brighter than the sun and you can’t look away. “i like you too — even though you already know…but i like you so much too. sorry i make you sick. i’ll always be here to make you feel better, though!” he assures with a sweet, toothy smile. you hate him so much. you don’t understand how he was able to change your feelings about him into a complete 180 degrees, and yes you’re complaining about it but you secretly thank whoever put you both into the future.

“ugh, you’re disgusting. please kiss me now.” you grin, and he grins back until both of your lips meet in a soft peck. it’s sweet and innocent, and it’s more than what jungwon and you could ask for. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this moment,” jungwon says cheesily, and you roll your eyes. you make another comment about how those words are so gross but you know you felt a part of you melt. the two of you soon fall into a blissful sleep, wrapped around each other’s arms. it doesn’t occur to either of you that it’s the first time you’re sharing the bed with jungwon, but it doesn’t matter because the next morning when you wake up, it feels like it’s the best sleep you’ve ever had in your life.

a blaring alarm wakes you up, and when you open your eyes, you find yourself in your own bed again, in your parents house. you rush to get out of bed, checking your mirror, only to see the teenager version of you once again. you smile to yourself, touching your face and you’re relieved. but the feeling is quickly set aside when jungwon crosses your mind again, and you pick up your phone to text him. you then realize you don’t have his number, because you literally hated him. you suck in a breath and decide to get ready for school, because it’s the only way you’ll be able to see him. if you do.

you put on the first thing you see in your closet, rushing down the stairs and your parents don’t even spare a glance at you, just a “good morning sweetie!”, as if time didn’t pass when you were in a different time. you speed walk to school, and the halls are already all crowded with students talking and walking to their first class of the day. your friend greets you, but you don’t really pay much attention to what they’re talking about, and you ask them, “where’s jungwon?” they give you an odd look, “why’re you looking for him? didn’t you literally tell him that ‘anyone who has to wake up next to him is the unluckiest person ever to exist’ just yesterday?” they quote you, and you roll your eyes, waving them off. “doesn’t matter. have you seen him?” you brush it off, but when you turn your head to the left you see the boy you’ve been looking for. “never mind. gotta go, see you!” you say goodbye to your friend, who is only left staring blankly at your running figure.

“jungwon!” you say his name as you’re making your way towards him, and his eyes meet yours. it’s only been a night, and you’ve never missed someone this much before. he smiles upon seeing you, and the two of you meet in a hug. “how did we get back?!” you ask ecstatically, but you honestly don’t care about how. you’re just happy that you’re both back with newfound perspectives of each other. he shrugs his shoulders and laughs, “i don’t know! i guess a kiss solves everything?” he jokes and makes puckering lips to you. you scrunch your nose up, holding your hand in front of his face as you feign disgust. “shut up, i hate you,” you mumble.

you both know it’s a lie.

taglist!: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @hyunes4ngel

#enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #jungwon drabbles #jungwon oneshots #jungwon imagines #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #enhypen x y/n #jungwon x y/n #enhypen oneshots #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #jungwon fanfic #loveywonenha #jungwon enhypen #yang jungwon

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spookberry · 1 month

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Shadow High series 3 my new beloved

I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood

Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore

-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO

-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.

-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).

-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!

-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess

-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha

-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.

-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.

-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.

-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.

-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.

-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.

-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.

-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.

-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.

#shadow high #rainbow high #my art #fanart #i had to write down all my ideas just to get them outta my head #now im free

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intuitively-her · 11 months

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What do they think of your voice?

Pile 1-(Ace of swords, The High Priestess, The Hierophant rx, Page of pentacles, 7 of pentacles, 2 of pentacles, Knight of cups rx, Judgement) *zodiac confirmations: gemini, 8, venus

I'm picking up on multiple energies tbh. Your voice is attractive to many. It's smooth and sexy. You easily swoon your romantic partners with your way of words. I get the vibe that you're an important figure in your workplace. Like maybe you have to speak up a lot in meetings or you're called to do a lot of projects. If so, that's because you're the only person on your team that's trusted to do it the right way. You definitely reap the benefits of the work you put in. Many people listen and look up to you. You may speak up about discrepancies in your workplace or you speak out a lot about controversial topics in general. People really commend you for that. You don't beat around the bush with what you need to say. I heard "I said what I said" 🤣. People sometimes feel smaller in your presence. You're very knowledgeable and trusted by others. It's intimidating.

🩷channeled messages: manipulative, promiscuous, stuck-up, big boobs, uptight, sexy voice, naive, intimidating, trustworthy, confident, competitive, wife, neighbor, husband, sister

Pile 2-(9 of swords rx, 7 of cups, 4 of wands, 3 of cups, 4 of pentacles, The Hermit rx, 7 of swords) *zodiac confirmations: gemini, 12, moon

This is another pile with multiple energies. The vibe you bring is so refreshing. You really help bring calmness into anxious situations, especially social ones. It's something about the way your voice carries. People notice how you're not scared to speak up and take the lead. There is one person I'm picking up on in particular tho. This could be a friend or acquaintance that you have a crush on. I keep getting something about playful banter? or maybe you or this person likes to tell dumb jokes lol. You have a very fun and welcoming energy. People love how you can mix and mingle with many different people. You may like to party or you're just out a lot. There's something about you that makes people realize that there's more to life. Like you help them see the bigger picture in situations. A lot of people become really obsessed with you. You really don't even have to say much. It's mostly your energy.

🩷channeled messages: feline eyes, extrovert, charming, big butt, charismatic, obsessive, wet, possessive, karmic, coworker, sidechick/side mans

Pile 3-(The Star, Justice, 5 of wands, 10 of wands rx, 6 of cups rx, The Moon rx, The Fool, 2 of cups, 5 of pentacles) *zodiac confirmations: taurus, 1, neptune

Im picking up on a close friend of yours, or someone you've recently started talking to romantically/platonically. You could be a public speaker or advocate for something. You fight for what's right and you're not afraid to speak up against others. You may like to debate with others a lot. Some of you may also like to protest. Your tone is very mature and straight to the point. You like to expose the truth about things. You could work within the justice system or maybe you're studying it? I keep hearing "law school". You're unpredictable to others. I heard "jack of all trades" I think maybe people don't expect you to be as blunt as you are or to have as much knowledge as you do.

🩷channeled messages: competitive, narcissistic, sexy, beautiful hair, kind, mixed signals, intellectual, rude, funny, shit talker, boss, older woman, "single white female", fake friend, red hair, younger woman, big lips, older man

Pile 4-(King of cups, Queen of swords, 3 of pentacles, 7 of swords rx, Knight of wands rx, 6 of swords rx, 7 of cups rx, The World, 9 of wands rx) *zodiac confirmations: cancer, 11, pluto

Your tone may come off a little harsh at times. You tend to give people a reality check. I don't think you do this to be mean tho. I think you may feel like it's the only way you can get your point across at times. You're quick to tell someone off. I also feel like you're able to read people and situations pretty easily. Some people feel like you hold onto anger. This could be family or people close to you. I feel like a lot of these people misunderstand you a lot. Like a lot of what you do or say is taken out of context. You can actually be very compassionate and caring at times. Im picking up on a sneaky link energy. I feel like you may keep the sweet parts of yourself hidden tho. You hide your true self from people a lot and you don't really follow the crowd. People notice this.

🩷channeled messages: egotistical, intuitive, cheerful, pretty skin/skin tone, cold, sarcastic, big d*ck, tall, loud, short, moles/birthmark, lean body, freckles, mental illness, one night stand, player, brother, soulmate, ex-friend

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a card #pick a pile #pick an image

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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AITA for not going to take care of my sick grandma?

This happened like 10 years ago, but to this day I still think back to it and I cannot decide if I was the asshole in this situation or not.

Anyway, back then I was 14 and was just minding my own business until one of my (adult) aunts contacted me and told me that I should skip school for about like a week because my grandmother was sick, and someone should take care of her. (To be clear my grandmother used to live about 3 hour drive away). I did not get any details about the sickness and I just assumed it was the common cold (I am still not sure if it was just the common cold or not, I think it was the cold combined with high blood pressure. Either way my grandmother is still very alive and mostly well, it wasn't deadly).

Anyway, I asked why couldn't any of my four adult aunts go and take care of my grandmother instead, because

(a) I didn't want to skip school;

(b) I was 14 (no car!) and to get there I had to take the bus that goes like twice a week;

All my aunts found excuses, and they were either "I have work" or "I have children", and tbh I didn't think the work excuse was different from my school excuse. And the children excuse (for aunts not working) seemed like a really lame excuse because all my aunts had husbands/boyfriends at the time who could take care of their children, or they could even take their own children together with them, it's not like that was impossible.

Overall it ended up with my aunts ganging up on me and calling me heartless about not going. Even my 5th aunt from abroad was involved and she yelled at me and said she was ready to buy tickets for her 11 year old to fly in and take care of our grandma (she didn't do that of course but it still made me feel extremely guilty that an 11 year old was, like, mobilized for the trip).

But at the end, a week or so passed with us arguing and shifting blame onto me, and my grandmother got better by herself, and even my grandmother was mad at me for not going, she kept sending passive aggressive remarks like "now I truly know who is on my side".

Either way, my grandmother really needed the help and I did not go. But on the other hand, I had a gang of adult aunts who did not have any better excuses than I did, and I was still a child (even though I admit 14 is not exactly the age of a helpless child).

So, tumblr, what do you think, was I the asshole in this situation?

P.S. If it helps to add on any other context - I am the eldest granddaughter

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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louscartridge · 2 months

Note

HIII omg youre like the only active person writing for Henry Danger and i would like to request dating headcanons with Henry!! (x female reader please!)

A/N- omg no fr it makes me so upset that there's so little fanfics (especially good ones💀) for the danger verse😭

CW- ngl these are kinda halfassed and writen on like 3 hours of sleep, not proof read (only spell checked), physical touch, the L bomb, angst, death, and suggestive if you do the squintiest squint, thats it??

❥ his love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. fight me.

❥ hes gives kinda golden retriever bf vibes, but not like overly or whatever yk??

❥i feel like for your first date, he might want to try hard and do something nice or whatever, especially if you guys weren't friends before hand, but he prefers to just stay home with you and hang out.

❥ i feel like he said 'i love you' first tbh.

you were in (yet another) life or death situation, and he was like kinda panicking. he was getting annoyed with how slow shwoz was working to try and save you or whatever, and he started ranting and somewhere in the rant he ended up saying he loves to, however you heard him say it.

once you were very much so alive and ok, you said it back to him.

❥you'll never miss the chance to sleepover at henrys house. ever. even if you guys have had an argument that same day, or the day before. then however, instead of sleeping in the same bed as him, you'll sleep on the couch that up in the corner of his room.

❥ at first piper definitely tells you that you can do better 💀

❥ you know about his past minor loyalty issues, but he quickly gains absolutely all of your trust once he finds out that you were overthinking it.

❥jasper lowkey be your hype man ngl

❥i wouldn't necessarily say that gift giving is one of his love languages, but if its yours or you want something, hell have absolutely no issue in getting you whatever it is.

❥ when you guys first started dating, you would sneak through his window at night all the time, or after school. one time tho, henrys dad ended up catching you. surprisingly tho, he wasent really upset. he was just like "omg this is awesome this is like the most 'rebellious' teenage activity we've ever gotten out of him" and after stifly waving at you he just walked away.

❥ henry stutters alot when you make him nervous. (which by the way is quite easy to do)

❥ he pays attention to the little stuff just as much as you do tbh.

❥ i feel like he'd make forts with you 😭 he likes making them at night tho, cause then they have less of a chance of getting ruined by his sister. plus, then you guys can go to sleep in them.

❥ catches your hand from a high five so you end up holding hands.

❥ whenever he get jealous, for the most part hes chill. he knows you'll be good on your own, but hell keep a close eye out just incase.

❥ hes pretty protective tho. once again, he knows you can handle yourself, but sometimes people are so rude to you and it makes him mad. however, he tries to keep his composure for everyone sake, and embarrassment.

❥ i feel like hed want to play with your hair?? like you guys would be laying so your back was facing him, and you just feel him start to play with your hair. you could tell he started to attempt to braid it. "henry stop you're gonna make it all tangled" "you want me to make it all tangled?"

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psychelis-new · 1 year

Text

pick a pile: "Who are/will be your friends"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about how your friends see you and/or how you may be meeting your new friends and what they will think about you/how they will see you. Also no offence for the pics choice, I love sheeps.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4

’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

These are people that are pretty similar to you. You may be knowing them for a lot now, for some they may be childhood friends or something. You just need to look at them to be able to read their mind and understand what they think. Huge deep bond. For others, they may be part of your soul family or a past life partner/friend/connection. Okay there are two situations here: 1) you know them so deep down, every small detail about the other, that basically you are the same person and you support each other and care and really talk like 24/7 about any little thing that happens and you are very aware of how the other changed through the years (it could be also for new people: you talk a lot and tell the other everything about your life in a few days); 2) you have been knowing each other for long (or even just met) but you don't really know the other's favorite color, for example. It's a slightly different type of friendship. It's close, it's caring, but it's not as deep as one would imagine. You may even go a few days/weeks without talking and it's fine, when you meet again, it's like nothing happened. The care, the support, the help are there in whatever case. And it works for y'all, so why not. In both cases I think it involves you and another max. 2 people, not more (but it could be just 1). You may be kinda introverted people or just enjoy some time off occasionally, to recharge or do your own things. But you end up being there for the other if they need, no matter what. You may even sleep to each other's place to be able to share your experiences during the evening/night. For many of you I feel it's a same gender friendship for others is a different gender one, and for a few ones this person may turn into your romantic partner.

song: tú | maye

’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

Very protective friends. They kinda shield you. If you meet someone new, maybe even a love interest, they are pretty jealous of you and need to know everything about this person before feeling okay with you going out with them. They may even stalk this person on socials? Masculine/boss energy, but it doesn't have to be a male person ofc (or people... actually I'm getting 3-4 people, so it could even be mixed). You may be knowing them from high school or college/university, for some of you they may be your colleagues. Very grounded, stable energy, I am feeling like those superhero that stand in front of you to protect you from a possible danger. This may turn into something toxic tbh, cause they should trust you and let you leave your life the way you need... it's just that they don't want you to suffer, probably cause you've been suffering a lot through your life. It's very nice and cute of them ofc, but it's also their codependency talking: be aware of this and talk things out with them if they are a bit too controlling and protective of you. They may be needing to work on themselves, on these parts of them, these triggers. The moment they realize all this with your help, things will change for everyone and be more easy to afford. Find a way to compromise, to come together to an healthier point with time and patience. They will change their approach and point of view on life and on you, and accept that you can and need to experience your life as you're an adult and you can take care of you too. And you can even get hurt while living. But you can survive, they'll know. And they'll be there to support you whenever you need. Huge older brother/sister energy. Even crush energy for a few (you are their crush).

song: boyfriend | dove cameron

’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Huge "squad" energy. You may be all the same gender and like to go out and enjoy all together. If someone is missing for any issue, you feel their absence and find ways to be with them anyway maybe through a phone call. Let's say one person of your team is ill, you may renounce to a night out and go to their place to cheer them up and be with them. You totally do anything together. I think it's about 4-5 people here, including you. You like to go out at night especially, go to parties/pubs and dance together. Maybe you like to make fun of guys/people trying to approach you (if applicable)? But sometimes it's different... I see you, not gonna go there with this reading, sorry. :) I think you may share courses too, maybe college or dancing courses, or play in a sport team (even cheeleaders?)... something like that. You spend a lot of time together also during the day. You like shopping together, eating together... you talk a lot too. There's some kind of sisterhood or brotherhood here. You're there to help each other, your are totally a group, like "bro's before ho's". Together you're stronger, like nothing can hit you and having the others' support is fundamental. But from cards it seems you don't always talk about heavy stuff or past stuff (before you got together), at least not with everyone there. That's probably something you may need to do, to be more open about anything you don't like or how you really feel inside. It's true that y'all enjoy being together but if you feel down, not all of your friends may notice or you (or one friend) may hide that. Your squad is strong, please find ways to talk about your mental health together: you can get out of any personal problem also thanks to your friends, you don't have to hide and push it all down night after night. Take courage and speak up, you will be understood by your friends (or ask your friends to speak if you feel something isn't right with them). None of you is a burden for the others, you should know that.

song: i choose you | mario

’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

Your friends are or will be pretty different from you (etnicity, background, upbringing, culture, ideas, "social class"...). They are very caring of you, very kind and generous and indeed, very different even among them. They see you as very sweet and they kinda feel protective of you but in an healthy way. It feels like y'all complete each other. You learn a lot from each other too. Lot of fun times together, lot of laughs, but also nice talks at night even on heavy topics or sharing your lives' experiences. They may help you heal some parts of you that still need work (maybe some fears or insecurities about yourself and how you can be perceived by others/in relationships of any type), they'll help you be more focused and determined, more you. Very supportive group. They help you also working towards your dreams, finding your true call and desire and create your own dream outcome. They help you know yourself better too. Just by communicating with them, you find ways to reach your inner side more easily. They balance you very well, and help you stay balanced. It may be a spiritual connection too, they may be part (all of them or just a few) of your soul family, and you may be supposed to meet them at a specific time in your life. Some of you may be trying to manifest them in their life atm, it will happen the moment you let go and trust, especially yourself (work on your inner world to decide what you really want out of a friendship). There's no judgment here, it's a pure friendship. For some it may involve a slightly large group (around 5-6 or a few more people but no more than 8), for others it's 3-4 or less.

song: angel of mine | monica

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svnoohe4rts · 1 year

Text

GAME OVER ! ― part three

prev … masterlist … next

↳ PAIRING: lee heeseung x fembodied!reader

↳ SUMMARY: since you have seemed to forgotten just how cruel heeseung could be, he decides it’s about time he remind you.

↳ WORDCOUNT: 11k

↳ WARNINGS: angst, heeseung literally being straight up cruel, both sungchan and chenle being kind of shitty friends tbh, SMUT ! MDNI .

YOU WERE NEVER TOO BIG ON SCIENCE.

Science was something you despised in high school, which is exactly why you decided not to take that one extra course in college. Looking back, maybe you should’ve joined Sungchan when he decided to take science instead of literature; you probably would’ve saved yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and agony that way.

No having to convince Chenle to take literature with you, no having to sit through hours of listening to your professor talking about how great of a work The Great Gatsby was and how it impacted the history of literature.

Instead, you probably would’ve learned more about black holes.

And most importantly, how to get swallowed by one.

You knew stars got swallowed by black holes all the time, sucking them into oblivion just for them to never be seen again; so why couldn’t one swallow you, too? Well, technically, you knew they couldn’t - you did pay a little attention in science class back in high school, after all.

But that didn’t stop you from wishing, begging even, for one to randomly appear and pull you into the dark nothingness.

Especially in moments like these, where you felt your whole world collapse around you.

‘’Sungchan?’’ Both out of breath and slightly panicking, your voice came out shakily as your best friend finally picked up the phone. After stumbling out of Heeseungs car and calling his number multiple times, each and every call going straight to voicemail - the thought of anyone, especially Sungchan, knowing what had just happened in the darkness of Heeseungs car causing a sudden feeling of distress to spread across your chest.

You wondered just how many people had seen you leaving with Heeseung, you wondered if anyone knew what had happened, but most importantly: you wondered if someone had seen you and Heeseung making out just outside the front door, making it incredibly easy for absolutely anyone to see you.

Wanting to slap yourself across the face for being so reckless, no, you wanted to slap Heeseung across the face for being so reckless. He knew exactly what he was doing, you thought, there was no way he didn’t. He knew you’d kiss him back, he knew you’d let him do whatever he wanted with you; even if it meant he had to do it in front of every person you knew.

Including your two best friends, who both thought you loathed Lee Heeseung more than anything else.

No, you did loath Lee Heeseung more than anything else. And that’s probably why you let him finger you in the back of his car, right?

‘’Where are you?’’ Sungchans sharp voice echoing through your ears caused you to let go of a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, nibbling on your bottom lip. How were you supposed to explain your current situation to him, if he didn’t already know, which he most likely did? The almost bitter tone lingering behind how words indicated that he did, in fact, know.

And the thought almost made your stomach turn inside out.

‘’I’m outside, but I can explain, I promi-’’

‘’Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he? I swear to God Y/N, I’ll kill him,’’

Wait.

You could now clearly hear the concern lingering behind his words as he spoke, something you had managed to miss while internally panicking, his words causing you to frown.

Maybe he didn’t know, and you prayed you were right.

‘’What? No, I’m okay, he didn’t hurt me,’’ You let out, hoping he couldn't hear the distress in your voice. And to your surprise, he didn’t seem to notice it as a small sigh left his lips; the sound of him opening a door echoing through the speakers of your phone. ‘’Fuck Y/N, I was so worried,’’ He mumbled, the bitter tone that had lingered behind his words now nowhere to be found; worry taking its place. ‘’Where exactly are you? I’ll come to you.’’

Turning around to look at the car parked right behind you, you once again found yourself nibbling on your bottom lip. ‘’I’m just down the street, I’ll meet you at the door, alright?’’ You prayed he’d agree to your request, your eyes still glued to the parked car; the car in which Heeseung was still sitting.

A short silence followed, causing you to grow slightly anxious again as your best friend remained silent. ‘’Alright.’’

With shaky hands, you ended the call and took a deep breath. Tearing your eyes off the car, you quickly started walking down the road leading back to the party; deciding it was for the best to not look back, nor did you feel like telling Heeseung you were leaving.

Not that it mattered to him, anyway.

‘’You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later,’’’

Giving your friend a small nod in an attempt to encourage him to leave the now almost empty classroom, you let your fingers ghost over the keyboard of your laptop. Sungchan, however, just frowned upon hearing your words; raising both his eyebrows as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. ‘’You’re not eating?’’

You just hummed in response, a small sigh falling off the tip of your tongue as your eyes darted back to the computer. ‘’I don’t have time, I have to finish this before noon or my literature professor will be pissed,’’ You mumbled, keeping your eyes on the screen of your computer as you spoke.

Sungchan stared at you for a minute, observing you as you bit down on your lower lip and furrowed your eyebrows while reading the article you had pulled up. You almost began to think he had left, when your laptop was suddenly slammed shut; your eyes landing on Sungchan’s finger, which had just been used to close the computer in front of you.

‘’Well, tell your professor that eating is kind of necessary to survive,’’ Your gaze landed on the boy now standing in front of you, his finger still keeping the laptop shut as you rolled your eyes; grabbing onto his hand before shoving it away. ‘’And I’m telling you I can just eat later.’’ You let out, squinting your eyes at him as you opened the laptop back up, earning an eye roll from your best friend.

‘’You never said that.’’

‘’I just did.’’

‘’You can be so stubborn sometimes, you know that right?’’ Sungchan muttered, shaking his head as he watched you return to reading the article you had just been reading. ‘’Yeah, whatever, now go and eat,’’ You mumbled back, keeping your eyes on your computer screen while waving your hand; signaling for him to go enjoy his lunch.

Accepting his defeat, Sungchan let out a low sigh before fixing his backpack, already on his way out. ‘’I’ll get you something, alright?’’ He let out right when he was about to walk through the door, looking back at you one last time.

Giving him a thumbs up, still keeping your eyes on the computer, you mumbled a ‘thank you’ - which you weren’t even sure if he heard, before he eventually left.

And like that, you were left alone.

A sigh escaped your lips as you placed your elbows on the table in front of you, letting your forehead rest in the palms of your hands as you stared down at the keyboard in front of you. Three days had passed since you allowed Heeseung to finger you in his car, three days since you had managed to convince Sungchan nothing happened between the two of you.

Three days since you lied to your best friend, rather said.

Sungchan had been visibly upset when you walked up the driveway, his back leaning against the side of the house until he eventually spotted your figure coming towards him; practically tunning towards you before grabbing onto every part of your body, making sure you weren’t hurt.

He checked your arms, his fingertips grabbing onto your jaw to make sure you weren’t hurt there and he even asked you to show your legs to him; just so he could make sure he hadn’t hurt you there, too. Of course, he didn’t find any signs of you getting hurt - because you hadn’t.

That part wasn’t a lie, you thought.

The part that came after, though? A completely different story.

With Sungchan glaring at you, waiting for an explanation as to why you were with Lee Heeseung alone; you began rambling about Heeseung pissing you off, which wasn’t technically a lie, he had pissed you off and that’s why you stormed away with him in the first place. You told him you had just dragged him out of there to tell him off, to stand up for yourself, anything; anything that made it sound like you hadn’t let Heeseung kiss you right where the two of you were standing.

You didn’t want to lie to your friend, but you also felt like you had no choice. You knew you couldn’t tell him what had really happened, not right there and then; not when he had just told you he’d kill him if he as much as laid a finger on you.

You guessed that was when you realized you had to lie, when you realized how much Sungchan actually loathed Lee Heeseung. And at that point, you also realized Sungchan might’ve hated Lee Heeseung more than you did.

A part of you wished your best friend wouldn’t have believed your stupid lie, that he’d call you out and tell you he knew; that he knew about the night at Chenle’s birthday party, that he knew about the kiss and that he knew that Heeseung had just fingered you in his car - you just wished he knew.

Because if Sungchan wouldn’t have believed you, it would never happen again. You would never end up with Heeseung’s lips against your own ever again, you would never doubt your hatred for Heeseung ever again - you and Heeseung would never happen again.

But sadly, Sungchan did believe your stupid lie. And what was even sadder, was when you realized it was most likely going to happen again.

‘’You know, it’s kind of rude to just run off like that.’’

A yelp left your lips as a voice suddenly filled your ears, causing your head to snap in the direction the voice was coming from; your whole body flinching in surprise. A low sigh left your lips as your eyes met a pair of familiar ones, a pair that you had grown a little too familiar with.

Heeseung.

‘’I’m not doing this,’’ You mumbled, your eyes darting back to your laptop before slamming it shut, just like Sungchan had done a few minutes prior and you couldn’t help but wish you had agreed to come with him. A chuckle was heard coming from beside you as you began packing your things, rushing to get them into your bag; not wanting to stay in the same room as Lee Heeseung for another minute.

‘’What’s the rush? Your boyfriend left a while ago, don’t worry, I made sure he left before I came here.’’ You just remained silent, not even acknowledging the words that had just left his lips, keeping your eyes on your bag as you began to fiddle with the zipper; trying to leave the room as fast as you could.

You weren’t doing this, not today.

Heeseung, however, seemed to have different plans. As you finally managed to zip the bag shut, you quickly grabbed onto the strap before walking around the table you had just been sitting by; heading straight for the door without even looking Heeseungs way.

Perhaps you should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy getting away from him, it was Lee Heeseung, after all.

Feeling his cold hand grab onto your wrist, your steps came to an abrupt stop as he prevented you from walking away. ‘’You’re not even going to say sorry?’’ You inhaled through your nose, trying your best to calm yourself down before spinning around; now facing the boy who was still holding onto your wrist.

‘’Say sorry for what, Heeseung?’’ You glared at him, your eyes traveling down to his lips, a small smirk forming on them. ‘’Someone is in a bad mood,’’ He chuckled, his fingers slipping away from your wrist and his arm falling down his side once more. You just continued glaring at him, the feeling of his fingers on your skin leaving an almost eerie feeling to spread across your chest.

He just stared back at you, his gaze traveling up and down your body; making you feel exposed, naked even, as a chuckle left his throat. ‘’I was just coming here so you could apologize.’’ Keeping your eyes glued on him, you blinked. ‘’Apologize for what?’’

Heeseung could hear the annoyance lingering in your voice and you wondered if that’s what he wanted. You wondered if he came here to rile you up, to make you panic - to make you almost look at the door to make sure no one could see you standing there with him, alone. Shaking his head, a grin still on his lips, he looked down at his shoes before eventually taking a step towards you.

Your whole body froze as he looked back up, realizing how close he now was. You felt the need to take a step backward, to run out of there; anything, anything from preventing this from happening.

But you never did.

No, instead you remained standing in the exact same spot as Heeseung brought his hand to your face, his fingertips ghosting over the skin of your cheek. ‘’For leaving me like that,’’ He mumbled, his eyes watching as he put a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your hair. You just kept your eyes on him, your breath hitching in your throat as his fingertips ghosted against the side of your neck.

‘’I know you hate me, but damn,’’ He lowly chuckled, letting his hand gently cup the side of your face, ‘’Leaving me, without a single word, after I made you cum on my fingers? I think I deserve an apology for that.’’

Oh no.

This wasn’t about to happen.

‘’Heeseung,’’ You almost whined, your voice coming out hoarse as you spoke, ‘’Not here.’’ A chuckle left Heeseung’s throat, his thumb gently stroking your cheek as he tilted his head. ‘’Why? Are you scared someone will see us?’’ He cooed, his eyes low as he stared at you; your lips parting, he was right.

You had fought for your life trying to convince Sungchan nothing had happened between you and Heeseung, that he had just pissed you off and you just went to tell him off; the last thing you needed was for someone to see this, Heeseung cornering you in an empty classroom.

Heeseung clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as you remained silent. ‘’Tell me,’’ He let out, leaning closer to you; his eyes darting down to your lips, causing your own eyes to mimic his as your eyes landed on his lips. ‘’Would that really be so bad?’’

His words caused you to look up at him once more, your lips still slightly parted; this time in surprise. ‘’What?’’ You breathed, his thumb still gently stroking your cheek and thanks to how close he was, you could feel his chest press against your own every time he took a breath. A grin formed on his lips, tilting his head so he could look at you properly.

‘’Someone catching us, would that really be so bad?’’ He let out, his voice low and you could easily hear the mocking lingering behind his words. The sudden question took you by surprise, every word leaving your throat coming out in a stutter; causing Heeseung to chuckle at your desperate attempt to defend yourself. ‘’I don’t think it’d be so bad, Y/N,’’

His other hand suddenly snaked under your shirt, lightly caressing your side causing a whimper to trail off your lips; your eyes immediately darting down to look, watch even, as his fingertips ghosted over your now slightly exposed skin. Sucking air through his teeth, he let his fingertips dance across your skin; allowing them to come into contact with the hem of your bra.

‘’Wouldn’t it be a good thing? To put an end to the rumors going around about you,’’ His breath fanning across your cheek took you by surprise, too hypnotized by the feeling of his rough fingers ghosting over your skin to notice that he had leaned even closer to you; his lips almost grazing against your ear as he spoke. ‘’Or maybe letting everyone see how easy you fold for me,’’

You felt your breath hitch in your throat as his fingertips suddenly slipped under the elastic band holding your bra in place, another low whimper leaving your throat at the feeling of his cold fingers coming into contact with your flesh.

He was right. You folded for him, again and again, and almost too easily - but there was something about his lanky fingers caressing your skin and his mouth spitting such foul words at you that you just couldn’t withstand; not when you could feel his hot breath against the skin of your neck and his chest practically pressing up against your own. ‘’Heeseung,’’ You whimpered once more, this time as a warning.

The warning, however, just made Heeseung chuckle as you tilted your head slightly to the side; your whole neck on display for him, begging for his lips to decorate the sensitive skin. ‘’You want everyone to know, don’t you?’’ He murmured, letting his lips ghost over your neck as his hand only traveled closer to your breasts. You quickly shook your head no, your eyes fluttering close at the feeling of his lips finally coming into contact with your now burning skin.

‘’Of course you do,’’ He hissed, pressing a soft kiss right below your ear; your lips parting as his hand finally cupped one of your breasts, a moan ripping through your chest. Heeseung, however, was quick to rip you out of your trance - his hand slipping out of your shirt, the loss of contact causing a whine to leave your lips as your eyes fluttered open again; only to be met by him already looking at you with a small smirk on his lips

‘’Unfortunately, you haven’t been very nice, have you?’’ He let out, his head once again tilted. You just stared at him with wide eyes, what did you expect? Did you honestly expect Heeseung, the man who had spent his whole life teasing you, to make an exception, right here, right now? Of course, he wasn’t.

Another chuckle left his lips at the sight of you, both confusion and desperation written all over your face; the palm of his hand grabbing onto your cheeks once more. ‘’But maybe,’’ He let out, watching his own thumb stroke your cheek before swiping it across your bottom lip, ‘’If you be a good girl and meet me by the bleachers, I’ll forgive you, hm?’’

Letting his thumb rest against your bottom lip, his gaze met yours once more; both his eyebrows raised as he waited for you to respond.

You just stared back at him with wide eyes, his thumb gently tugging your lip downwards; there was no way you’d sneak around with Lee Heeseung, no, not like this. And especially not behind the bleachers.

With your back pressed against the cold metal of the bleachers by the football field, just outside the school where all your friends currently were, low whimpers left your lips as Heeseung’s lips gently sucked on the skin right below your ear. ‘’Please, no marks,’’ You whimpered, your arms sneaking around his neck. Heeseung just rolled his eyes upon hearing your words, moving away from the spot he was just nibbling on. ‘’You’re so demanding for someone who practically begged me to fuck her.’’

You really wished Sungchan would’ve seen right through your lie.

You were about to protest as he swiped his tongue against your skin, his teeth lightly nibbling on the skin causing another whine to emerge from the back of your throat. ‘’I didn’t,’’ You gasped as one of his hands found its way into your hair; gently tugging it to the side, giving him easier access to press rough kisses down your neck. ‘’Say you could fuck me.’’

The chuckle that left Heeseung’s throat caused you to whimper, the vibrations only adding to the pleasure of his lips assaulting your neck. ‘’And I never said I’d fuck you, either.’’ He mumbled against your skin, his lanky fingers suddenly wrapping around your wrist; a loud gasp leaving your lips as he placed the palm of your hand against his crotch.

More specifically, the bulge that had begun to grow underneath the fabric of his jeans.

The two times you had been intimate with Heeseung, he had been the one to please you. Well, if you could call the first time pleasing you, that being said, as he left you hanging; he did however make up for it the second time, though, you thought.

But the fact still remained, never had you been the one to please him.

Even though you had most definitely felt his hard-on poke your inner thigh as he fingered you with you on his lap, and maybe if you hadn’t left him all alone in the darkness of his car to wonder where you went that night; maybe you would’ve had the chance to please him, too.

But you didn’t, and a part of you didn’t want to - both because he didn’t exactly deserve it, but also because you had no idea how to.

You had no idea whatsoever how to please someone else.

Your girlfriends had talked about pleasing other guys multiple times, talking about how their boyfriends liked it and practically exposing their boyfriends for the whole world to hear; to which you mostly just rolled your eyes, zoning out as you had no interest in knowing how they sucked their boyfriends dicks or how they jerked them off.

You also remember that one time Chenle bragged about the best head he had ever received in the bathroom of some party he attended, going into detail about how amazing it was and even going into detail about how she did it; and if it hadn’t been for Sungchan telling him to cut it out because neither of you wanted to hear about him getting his dick wet, he probably would’ve given every detail there was to give.

Maybe you should’ve listened to your girlfriends gossiping about their boyfriends and perhaps you should’ve let Chenle go into detail about the greatest head he had ever received, because then you probably wouldn’t have been so clueless as to what to do when Heeseung pressed the palm of your hand against the bulge in his pants.

Heeseung groaned against your neck as he applied some pressure, his fingers gripping onto your wrist even harder. Pressing one last kiss right below your ear, he looked up at you; a small chuckle leaving his lips as he spotted the confused look on your face. ‘’What’s that face for, hm? Is it because I said I won’t fuck you?’’ He let out, your palm still pressed against the bulge in his pants and his finger still tangled into your hair.

You just stared at him for a moment, slightly out of breath from the makeout session you had shared a few minutes prior and you realized Heeseung probably didn’t even know that you were a virgin.

‘’Fuck you, I never even said I wanted you to fuck me,’’ You breathed, trying your best to not let it show how flustered you were by just feeling his cock outside of his pants, the thought of actually feeling it causing your heart to race. You just prayed he couldn’t hear it, your heart almost beating out of your chest.

But of course, he did hear it - and the smirk on his lips proved you right. Licking his lips, he scanned your face. ‘’Good,’’ He let out, letting the hand that he had wrapped around your waist fall to his side, ‘’Because I have fucking zero plans on pleasing you today.’’

A yelp left your lips as you felt your knees hit the grass underneath you, his grip around your hair tightening as he forced you to look up at him. A small smirk formed on his lips as his eyes landed on your face, your eyes wide and lips parted; the smirk slowly being replaced by a pout. ‘’You thought I’d let you feel good, after just leaving me like that?’’ He cooed, his grip on your hair loosening once again as he spoke, his fingers slipping out of your hair. ‘’I don’t think so.’’ He continued, using the palm of his head to stroke the top of your head.

You just stared at him, not being able to do anything else. Your heart was on the verge of bursting out of your chest, your underwear sticking to your core as drops of arousal slipped out as a result of his harsh words. You know you shouldn’t be getting turned on by this, you know you shouldn’t be getting wet at the thought of Heeseung being so mean to you; yet the wet patch that had begun to form in your underwear only continued to grow.

Heeseung, however, just stared back at you; slowly growing confused. Weren’t you getting the hint? Or were you just trying to get on his nerves? ‘’Looking at me like that isn’t going to change anything, you know that, right?’’ He let out through gritted teeth, causing you to place your bottom lip in between your teeth; looking down at your lap to avoid embarrassing yourself.

Oh god.

He had no idea.

‘’It’s not that,’’ You mumbled and Heeseung almost couldn’t make out what you were saying. ‘’What?’’ He let out, furrowing his eyebrows as his hand slipped away from your head, falling down his side. You just nodded, your eyes still glued to your lap; curses running through your mind as you squeezed your eyes shut; if you hadn’t embarrassed yourself around Heeseung enough, you sure were about to.

‘’I just, haven’t, you know,’’ You began, your words coming out mumbled as you tried to find the right words; the words that wouldn’t make you sound stupid. Heeseung just stared at you, still feeling confused; until it hit him.

You had never given anyone head before.

His lips parted as the realization set in, his gaze softening; not that you could see it, as your eyes were still squeezed shut and glued to your lap. ‘’You’ve never given anyone head before?’’ He let out, causing you to bite down on your lower lip once more; fighting the urge to let a curse slip past your lips. Instead, you just slowly nodded your head - preparing yourself for him to burst out laughing.

The laughter, however, never came.

Instead, silence followed. You weren’t sure which one you would’ve preferred, him making fun of you or him benign completely quiet; both seemed equally as bad, especially when you were on your knees in front of him.

That was until you suddenly heard him moving, and you were just about to open your eyes when you felt him place one of his fingers underneath your chin; tilting your head upwards. Your eyes fluttered open, only to be met by his squatting figure; a small smirk lingering on his lips. ‘’Well, in that case,’’ He spoke, his eyes scanning your now flustered face, ‘’How about I teach you?’’

You just stared at him for a minute, feeling both confused and embarrassed. Why was he not laughing, like you know he’d normally do whenever you embarrassed yourself in front of him? You slowly nodded your head, his finger still under your chin; his eyes scanning your face once more and you wondered why he was suddenly being so careful.

Nodding his head back at you, he grabbed onto your hands before standing back up, your eyes following his movements. ‘’Take my pants off.’’ He let out, keeping his eyes on you as he placed both your hands by his crotch once more. This time, however, you just nodded your head before letting your fingertips come into contact with the zipper decorating his crotch.

The feeling of your fingertips grazing over his bulge almost caused goosebumps to form down Heesueng’s arms, the sight in front of him causing his cock to slightly twitch in his jeans. A small sigh left his lips as you finally undid the button of his pants and pulled the zipper down, letting his cock somewhat leave the restraint of his pants before pulling them down to his knees.

You almost gulped as your eyes landed on the now very obvious bulge that had formed in his underwear, letting your fingertips trace the outline of his cock; a low groan leaving Heeseung’s lips at the sensation. Your eyes darted up to look at him, slightly scared you might’ve done something wrong; but the sight in front of you proved you the opposite.

With his eyes low and his head slightly tilted to the side, he watched as you placed your hand on top of his bulge, slowly letting the palm glide against the fabric. Heeseung just let out a breath at the feeling, fighting the urge to just pull his underwear down right there and then and feel your warm mouth around him. ‘’Now take my underwear off.’’ He breathed, causing you to slowly nod once again; letting your fingers travel towards the waistband of his boxers before hooking one of your fingers underneath it.

This wasn’t the first time Heeseung had received head behind those very same bleachers, the football field remote enough for people to never walk by which made it the best spot in the entire school to sneak around. Behind the tall metal bleachers, he knew he’d never be discovered; mentally thanking Chenle for showing him this spot in the first place.

But even though it wasn’t his first time getting his dick wet behind those bleachers, this time felt different. Much, much different.

A hiss left Heeseungs lips as his now almost fully hard cock sprung free as you finally managed to pull his boxers down, followed by a gasp leaving your lips. With your thighs now rubbing together in an attempt to somewhat relieve the aching coming from between your legs, you let your fingers wander back to his cock; slowly wrapping them around his grith, looking up at him for reassurance.

Heeseung almost forgot he was supposed to teach you, as this was your first time; biting down on his lower lip as your big eyes met his and your fingers wrapped around his cock. Remembering you were expecting him to guide you through it, he nodded, wrapping his own hand around your own. ‘’Just like that,’’ He let out, slowly guiding your hand up and down his length, his cock feeling heavy in your palm. You let your eyes dart back down, watching as he guided your hand back and forth; nodding your head.

His hand eventually slipped off your own, finding its way into your hair as a low grunt left his throat as you continued stroking his length; his eyes fluttering shut. ‘’It’s not like it’s going to fall off if you go a little harder, you know,’’ He mumbled, missing the way you rolled your eyes at him. ‘’Shut up or I’ll literally make it fall off.’

Heeseung was about to come up with a snarky reply, when you suddenly began to go faster; and harder, just like he had said. A broken groan left his lips, letting his head hit the metal pole holding the bleacher up behind him; forgetting all about the snarky reply that almost trailed off the tip of his tongue as a wave of pleasure washed over him. A small smile formed on your lips at his reaction, a feeling of accomplishment washing over you, slowly replacing the feeling of nervousness.

‘’Fuck,’’ He grunted, his eyes fluttering open once more as his gaze once more landed on you; his fingers lightly tugging at your hair in an attempt to tell you he was enjoying it. ‘’Now spit on it.’’ His words caused you to slow down, your lips parting as you looked up at him; confusion written all over your face. ‘’What?’’ You let out, causing Heeseung to nod. ‘’You heard me, spit on it.’’

Staring at him for a moment, you slowly looked back at his now fully erect cock; wrapping your fingers around the base as you sat up on your knees, now eye level with his cock. Leaning forwards, you let a glop of spit leave your tongue; dropping right onto the tip - Heeseung’s grip around your hair tightening as you watched your own spit run down the sides of his cock.

Through gritted teeth, a hiss left Heeseung’s throat as he felt you go back to stroking his cock; having to hold back from fucking himself into your fist. ‘’That’s good,’’ He mumbled, throwing his head back once again; if he continued watching you he’d cum right there and then by just looking at your hand wrapped around his cock, he was sure of it. And he didn’t want this moment to end, not just yet.

Nodding in response, you tried speeding up your movements; your eyes darting back up to look at the boy standing above you, the sight in front of you causing your hole to clench around nothing. With his head thrown back and his adam’s apple on full display, you held back a moan of your own; deciding you wanted to see more of this side of him.

Leaning forward once again, you experimentally pressed a soft kiss against the tip of his cock; the feeling causing a broken groan to rip through his chest, his eyes landing on you once again and he wished he hadn’t looked, because what he saw almost caused a whimper to leave his lips.

With your eyes staring right back at him through your lashes and your lips pressed against his tip, all while your hand was still stroking his cock; he pressed his lips into a thin line; grabbing onto your hair even harder and slowly guiding your mouth onto him.

Parting your lips, you let his cock slowly slide into your mouth; your hand no longer stroking his cock and your lips wrapping around his tip, watching as his lips parted at the sensation. ‘’Keep going,’’ He breathed, watching as you went back to stroking his length and slowly letting his cock fill your mouth up. Another hiss left his lips as he felt you swipe your tongue against the underside of his now throbbing cock, resting his head against the metal pole behind him once more.

His grip around your hair softened as you began bobbing your head up and down, your fist still pumping whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth up and down; remaining eye contact with him as you rubbed your thighs together.

Not once had you thought you’d end up giving head for the first time behind some bleachers, nor did you think it would be Heeseung’s cock you’d be sucking; but there you were, with your knees rubbing against the grass and Heeseung’s groans echoing through your ears.

‘’Fuck, Y/N,’’ He breathed, his other hand finding its way through your hair as well; pulling some of the pieces of hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ears before letting it join his other hand at the back of your head. Still bobbing your head up and down, you hummed against his cock; placing one of your hands on top of his thighs in order to support yourself.

Panting was heard coming from above you, your eyes darting between him and his cock; feeling his thighs clench under your touch. ‘’Just keep going, just like that,’’ He mumbled, his words coming out slurred as he slowly began helping you bob your head up and down faster, using the hands he had placed on the back of your head.

You choose to ignore the tears forming in the corners of your eyes as he thrusted his cock further down your throat, resting your hand at the base of his cock as you let your mouth do all the work. Swiping your tongue against the underside of his cock once more, you looked up at him; your eyes meeting his.

Heeseung let out a curse as his eyes landed on you, your big, now glossy eyes staring right back at him. The sight in front of him caused his cock to twitch inside the warmth of your mouth, spit forming in the corners of your mouth as he guided your head up and down; his bottom lip placed in between his teeth as he felt his orgasm approaching.

‘’I’m gonna cum,’’ He mumbled in an attempt to warn you, low grunts ripping through his chest as he kept guiding your head back and forth. You only nodded in encouragement, letting your tongue rest against the underside of his cock as he fucked into your mouth; his hands gripping onto your hair even harder.

The feeling of your nails digging into his thighs sent him over the edge, his white seed spilling down your throat as one loud, final groan ripped through his chest; followed by a trail of low whimpers as his hips twitched, his cock sliding even further down your throat.

Trying your hardest not to gag around his length, you relaxed, your nails digging deeper into his skin as you looked up at him; admiring how he looked with his eyes squeezed shut and the veins now prominent on his neck.

Stilling his hips, he opened his eyes; slowly letting his hands leave your hair as he heavily panted. You just stared up at him, slowly pulling your mouth off his now almost soft cock with a pop; causing his lips to part. Ignoring the dryness in your throat, accompanied by a slight pain, you wiped your mouth using the back of your hand; silence engulfing the two fo you.

‘’You did good,’’ His sudden words broke the silence, causing you to look back up at him as you felt him place the palm of his hand against your cheek. ‘’Never thought you’d be so good at giving head.’’ His words almost made you chuckle as his thumb stroked your cheek, using his other one to pull his underwear back up, followed by his jeans.

Offering you his other hand, he helped you stand up properly; wrapping an arm around your shoulders as your legs almost gave out on you, feeling wobbly from being on your knees for so long. Another silence fell upon the two of you, and you found yourself frowning.

Not once had you felt awkward around Lee Heeseung. Annoyed, sure, pissed off, absolutely; but awkward? Never.

Well, until today, that being said.

‘’It’s okay,’’ You mumbled under your breath, lightly shaking his arm off of you; using your hands in an attempt to dust off the dirt that had almost embroidered itself into the fabric of your pants. Heeseung stared at you for a moment and he, too, wondered why it suddenly felt almost awkward to be around you.

Letting his arm fall back down his side, he decided it’d be for the best to just leave you be even though he felt the urge to make sure you were doing okay; if it was for his own best or yours, he wasn’t sure. A part of him wanted to believe it had nothing to do with you, it was just him being a decent human being, right?

Right, it had absolutely nothing to do with you. He couldn't care less about you, a frown forming on his face and he found himself thanking whatever higher being there was that you weren’t looking at him; because if you had, you would’ve most definitely noticed the uncertainty that had begun to form inside his chest. ‘’You can leave, you know?’’

Your words came out mumbled and low, but clear enough for Heeseung to make out what you were saying and pick up on the almost harsh tone behind your words; snapping him out of his trance as he realized he had been staring at you. Blinking, your eyes met his and you wondered if Heeseung had ever looked at you like that before.

You frowned, ‘’We’re done, aren’t we?’’

Heeseung just stared at you for a moment before giving you a small nod, leaving you to furrow your eyebrows together; your lips parting as you were about to ask him why he was looking at you like that, almost like you had managed to offend him in some way - before he tore his eyes off you and walked away.

And there you were, left standing behind the bleachers all on your own; your throat slightly aching as the feeling of Heeseung’s fingertips ghosting over your skin lingered, accompanied by the unfamiliar look in his eyes that had burned into your mind.

Lee Heeseung confused you.

Running his fingers through his hair, a low sigh escaped Heeseung’s lips as he made his way down the hallway; trying his hardest to ignore the sudden burdensome feeling that had spread across his chest.

‘’No fucking way,’’ A voice spoke up from behind him, ‘’Who was it?’’ Heeseung immediately recognized the voice, his steps coming to a halt as he turned around; his eyes landing on his shorter friend.

He had heard someone almost running after him, after all.

‘’Chenle,’’ He let out, immediately catching onto the curious look in his friend's wide eyes; a small frown forming on his lips as Chenle let out a laugh, placing his hand on the taller boy’s shoulder. ‘’I told you, that place is fucking amazing, right? Now who was it, Yunjin?’’

Heeseung placed his bottom lip in between his teeth, staring at his friend; his eyes wide and a small smirk plastered on his lips, and Heeseung realized he had fucked up.

He had fucked up badly.

‘’I have no idea what you’re talking about.’’

A groan emerged from the back of Chenle’s throat as Heeseung attempted to walk past him, the grip he had on his friend’s shoulder hardening in an attempt to stop him from leaving. ‘’C’mon man, I literally saw you leaving from across the parking lot,’’

With his eyes fluttering shut and inhaling through his nose, Heeseung realized the spot wasn’t as good as he originally thought - otherwise he wouldn’t be here, with Chenle grabbing onto his shoulder and staring at him with big eyes; filled with anticipation as he waited for his friend to tell him what had gone down behind the bleachers.

Or with who, more specifically.

Letting a sigh escape his lips, Heeseung opened his eyes to look at his friend - when a thought suddenly hit him.

Parting his lips, he realized there was one thing he could still do to somewhat fight back the thoughts that were currently clouding his mind.

It was only fair, right? With a heavy feeling still lingering in his chest, a small smirk formed on his lips; placing his tongue in between his teeth. It wasn’t fair that he was the only one carrying this heavy feeling around, he thought, right? It was only fair that he did what he was about to do - at least according to Heeseung, and the urge to get rid of whatever the feeling that was only spreading further and further, threatening to swallow him whole any second.

If he was going down, you were going down with him.

‘’Alright,’’ Placing his own hand on his friend’s shoulder, causing his shorter friend’s eyes to widen even more in anticipation, ‘’You really wanna know?’’

A strange, almost surreal feeling had settled deep into your chest.

Maybe it was the fact that almost a whole week had passed since your knees hit the grass behind the football field and Heeseung had yet to utter a single word to you, or maybe it was the fact that Chenle had been awfully distant - you weren’t too sure, but something had caused a bizarre feeling to plant its roots deep within your chest; tugging at your heart every now and then.

Perhaps it was all Heeseung’s fault, as most things were; Heeseung had always been the root of most of your problems after all, especially after that one night.

Chenle’s birthday party, the first night you allowed yourself to get sucked into the world of Lee Heeseung, the world you had feared ever since his laugh had echoed through the hallways of your middle school; it was kind of ironic, you thought, how things had changed - yet everything remained the same.

You still loathed Heeseung, the hatred for the boy running deep within your veins and just the mere sight of him made you want to curl into a ball and never look him in the eyes ever again. Your hatred for the boy remained the same, just like it had formed years back, it still haunted you to the point where nothing but repulsion spread across your chest every time you caught a glimpse of him.

Until one day, it didn’t.

At least not in the same way it had once used to, and even though the repulsion and hatred still lingered; it was now clear to you that something had shifted.

So with a heavy feeling of uncertainty and confusion, you were left with nothing but your own thoughts and the memory of Heeseung’s touch, his rough fingertips digging into your skin and his tongue dancing with your own - you realized that Heeseung was, indeed, the root of most of the problems that occurred in your life.

For once, you thanked Heeseung for once again making your life difficult, as Friday night rolled around and you had the perfect excuse not to attend Chenle’s weekly parties. This time, however, it wasn’t Chenle who wanted you there; it was Sungchan who had begged you over the phone to show up, that he wouldn’t survive without you being there; to which you only replied that he shouldn’t go if he felt that way, because you weren’t going to show up.

You should’ve known that life always seems to have different plans for you, though. Especially when the clock hit midnight and Sungchan’s contact info had taken up the screen of your screen multiple times within the span of two minutes, and you realized that perhaps you shouldn’t have thanked Heeseung - because at the end of the day, he never failed to ruin your life in one way or another.

You had yet to know just how and what he had done this time around, and something was telling you you were about to find out.

‘’Please Y/N,’’ Sungchans pleading from the other side of the phone was starting to get on your nerves, a low groan leaving the back of your throat as you rubbed your eyes. ‘’I’ll do anything, just please come pick me up,’’ Your best friend’s begging, muffled by the sound of loud music and people yelling in the background left a sour taste in your mouth. You truly weren’t planning on going.

‘’Well,’’ You let out with a sigh as you kicked your feet off the side of your bed, ‘’I told you not to go in the first place.’’ Sungchan just sighed at your remark and even though you couldn’t even see him, you knew he was rubbing his forehead in annoyance. ‘’Dude,’’ He let out, ‘’Just come pick me up.’’ You shut your eyes, deciding that maybe you owed it to him; he had been there for you more times than you could count, and maybe picking him up from a party he desperately wanted to get away from was the last you could do.

‘’Fuck you for ruining my Friday night,’’ You groaned as your feet hit the floor by your bed, running your fingertips through your hair as you spoke. A small chuckle was heard coming from the other side of the phone. ‘’We’ll go get some snacks and hang out instead, okay? I’ll treat you to it, consider it a token of my gratitude.’’

His words caused a small smile to form on your lips and you realized that maybe you just had to spend some time with your best friend in order to oppress the heavy feeling that had settled inside of your chest.

Chenle had always been a terrible drunk, something you had first realized the first time he got drunk and he cried in your arms; leaving you and Sungchan to take care of him. Now, years later, it seemed like nothing had changed; despite his position as a declared fratboy.

Especially as you walked down the road leading to the party, spotting Chenle hanging off Sungchans arms as you got closer; and you suddenly felt thankful that you decided to stay home, knowing you’d be in Sungchans position if you would’ve caved in and listened to Sungchan’s pleading for you to go with him.

‘’Gosh, how much has he had to drink?’’ You mumbled as you got closer, Sungchans head snapping in your direction as your voice echoed through the empty stress; almost blending together with the loud music coming from the house a few feet away. Sungchan let a sigh mixed with a chuckle as he desperately tried to hold onto the boy hanging off his arms, ‘’Enough to be blabbering about random shit.’’

A chuckle trailed off your own lips as you scanned the boy, his head low and trying his best to stand upright, failing miserably to do so, and if it wasn’t because of the grip Sungchan had on his arms; he most likely would’ve hit the ground a long time ago.

Your sudden presence, however, seemed to catch the drunk boy’s attention; his gaze shifting from the ground to look at you, and you almost frowned as his eyes widened in what could only be described as pure shock. ‘’There she is!’’ He exclaimed, raising his hand to point at you; causing you to raise one of your eyebrows. ‘’You missed me that much?’’ You playfully let out, tilting your head as a small smile decorated your lips.

The dry chuckle that left Chenle’s throat took you by surprise, his gaze landing on the ground below him once more. ‘’No,’’ He dryly let out, ‘’Why the fuck would I ever miss you when you’re a liar?’’

The small smile that formed on your lips a few moments prior slowly faded, taken aback by the sudden words that had just trailed off his lips. ‘’’What?’’ You let out, your eyes landing on Sungchan; a low sigh leaving the taller boy's lips. ‘’I don’t know,’’ He mumbled, still trying to stabilize his drunken friend, ‘’He’s been going on about you lying to him all night, telling me I’m a bad friend for defending you.’’

The last words trailed off Sungchan’s lips in a chuckle, shaking his head as he looked down at the boy hanging off his arms.

You, however? You were far away from laughing, no, instead you felt your throat beginning to close up.

‘’Defending me from what?’’ Your words almost came out choked and you wondered if any of the boys picked up on the shakiness in your voice; hoping that Sungchan had more to drink than it seemed. ‘’He keeps talking about you and Heeseung, I don’t know where he got that idea from but I keep telling him to knock it off,’’

Your lips slightly parted, but before you could say something another dry and muffled chuckle left Chenle’s lips. ‘’They’re hooking up, you stupid fuck.’’

Chenle’s harsh words caused another sigh to roll off Sungchan’s tongue accompanied by an eye roll, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘’Dude, you’re just being fucking mean now, knock it off, I mean it,’’ Chenle just remained quiet as Sungchan focused on trying to get him to stand up straight, failing to notice the fact that you had gone completely silent.

Fuck.

Debating whether or not to laugh it off, you remained silent; praying that Sungchan would just shrug it off as Chenle being the terrible drunk that he was and scold him for it in the morning, when the sound of someone walking down the driveway suddenly echoed through the quiet road.

‘’There you are,’’ A chuckle filled your ears, ‘’How much did you drink?’’

At that moment, you realized Heeseung had indeed found a way to ruin your life once again; this time by walking down the driveway with his hands shoved down his pockets. Chenle just mumbled something inaudible into Sungchan’s arms in reply, causing another snicker to leave Heeseung’s lips as he got closer.

The snicker, however, went silent as soon as his eyes landed on you and you wondered if your sudden presence took him by surprise - or if it was the distressed look on your face that made his laughter die down.

‘’We’re leaving,’’ Sungchan let out, his voice monotone as he spoke. ‘’Can you take him back inside and make sure he sobers up?’’ Heeseung tore his eyes off of you, looking over at your friend before letting his eyes dart down to the boy hanging off his arms, nodding his head. ‘’Yeah, whatever,’’ Heeseung mumbled, getting ready to grab onto Chenle to bring him inside.

Oh, how you wished he would’ve done just that.

You wished he would’ve left as quickly as he came, that he would’ve taken Chenle inside, that he would’ve left you and Sungchan alone so you could go hang out and forget about what had just happened; that Sunghcan would’ve just assumed that whatever Chenle had said about you and Heeseung was nothing but drunken rambling and years of built up annoyance from the hatred you shared for his friend.

But of course, things never seemed to go your way whenever Lee Heeseung was present; your current situation being no exception.

‘’No,’’ Chenle mumbled, standing up straight as his eyes landed on Heeseung. ‘’Tell him.’’ Heeseung just raised one of his eyebrows, his hands still in the air from trying to grab onto his friend. ‘’Tell him what, dude?’’ He questioned and as his eyes suddenly landed on you, you realized he knew exactly what the boy in front of him was talking about.

‘’That you and Y/N are messing around.’’

Silence.

Complete, utter silence.

Until Heeseung shrugged his shoulders, his eyes still glued on you; and by the small, playful smirk that had begun to form on his lips; you felt your world slowly come crumbling down around you.

‘’You haven’t told him yet? Hiding things from your best friends now, are you Y/N?’’

And just like that, by letting one simple sentence trail off the tip of his tongue, Lee Heeseung once again reminded you of just how cruel he could be.

‘’Fuck off Heeseung,’’ Sungchan suddenly hissed, his eyes glued to the boy standing beside him; his harsh words causing Heeseung to stare at the boy in front of him with raised eyebrows. ‘’You really didn’t know?’’ The chuckle that left Heeseung’s lips following his question caused a shiver to run down your spine, accompanied by the realization that both your best friends were about to find out what you had been hiding from them.

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Heeseung’s eyes landed on you once again and you could tell he was amused by the clear state of distress you were in; his eyes scanning your wide ones before darting down to your shaking hands. ‘’Go on Y/N,’’ He chuckled, ‘’Tell them, tell them how you’ve been messing around with me.’’

You weren’t sure if the tears that were now prickling in the corners of your eyes were from anger or distress, feeling the need to grab onto Sungchan and get as far away as possible; to tell him Heeseung was full of shit, that you hadn’t been messing around with him - anything to get away from the situation that was currently unfolding.

But instead, you remained standing, feeling glued to the ground as you realized there was no way out. Heeseung had caged you in, and by the amused look in his eyes; you realized that this was how he enjoyed you the most. Having you caged in, never letting you out of his grasp.

You tore your eyes off Heeseung, only to be met by Sungchan looking straight at you. And the moment your eyes met his, you swore that if your whole world hadn’t already crashed around you yet; it most certainly did the moment you spotted the confusion lingering in your best friend’s eyes.

He knew, and you knew he knew.

Even though your lips were parted like you were about to say something; you knew you didn’t have to say anything, he could easily tell by the tears threatening to spill past your lower lashline and your apologetic eyes. ‘’Are you serious?’’ He breathed, his eyes still glued on you; causing you to bite down on your lower lip. ‘’I was going to tell you, I promise,’’ You let out, your voice shaky from the sudden confrontation and overwhelming feeling of being exposed.

You tried to decipher the look on your best friend's face, to no avail. His lips were slightly parted and you wondered whether it was disappointment or hurt lingering behind his soft features. Perhaps it was a mix of both.

‘’What the fuck,’’ He let out, shaking his head and you realized it was indeed disappointment lingering behind both his facial expressions and words, causing you to shake your head. ‘’Let’s go talk about it, yeah? I’ll explain, I promise,’’ Your voice almost broke as you spoke, the desperation and panic being evident in your voice as you so desperately tried to get your best friend to listen to you.

Slightly furrowing his eyebrows, he just stared at you; watching as your bottom lip quivered and tears threatened to drop onto your cheeks. ‘’No,’’ He let out, grabbing onto Chenle once more, ‘’No, I’m not doing this shit,’’ He mumbled, tearing his eyes off of you before wrapping an arm around the boy leaning into his arms.

Your eyes followed his every movement as even more panic settled in, he wasn’t going to listen to you. He wasn’t going to let you explain, let you explain why or how this happened in the first place; no, he was simply just going to leave without letting you explain.

‘’No, Sungchan,’’ You desperately let out, a broken chuckle emerging from the back of your best friend's throat interrupting you. ‘’Fuck you, Y/N, and fuck you too, Heeseung.’’ He spat, his gaze landing on you before letting his eyes dart to the lanky boy standing beside him, the boy who had remained quiet ever since he exposed your shared relationship.

Almost reaching out to grab onto his arm from preventing him from leaving, you raised your hand; just to retract as quickly as you raised it. There was no point, and you knew there wasn’t. He wasn’t going to listen to you, not right now.

Watching as Sungchan dragged Chenle back into the house, the loud music still being heard coming from inside; you were left alone, your eyes landing on the boy standing in front of you once again.

With a small smirk on his lips, he took in the state of you; his hands still shoved down the front pockets of his hands and the dangly earring that had once brushed against your skin as his lips left small kisses down your neck dangling from one of his ears - you felt disgusted.

‘’What the fuck, Heeseung,’’ You whispered, your bottom lip still quivering as you spoke and a tear finally dropped onto the skin of your cheek. ‘’What have you done?’’ A low snort left the back of his throat as you spoke, one of his hands slipping out of the pocket of his pants before pointing at himself. ‘’Me?’’ He let out, both his eyebrows raised before shaking his head. ‘’This,’’ He let out, pointing his finger at you instead, ‘’Is all your doing, not mine.’’

Shaking your head, you let another tear make its way down your cheek as you stared at the boy in front of you in disbelief. ‘’You’re fucking cruel, Heeseung,’’ You let out, pointing your own finger at him as his hand fell down his side. He just stared at you for a moment, before a dry chuckle ripped through his chest.

‘’You were the one who was all over me, Y/N, don’t you dare blame me for fucking over your friends by lying to them, that’s all on you,’’

His words caused you to chuckle in disbelief. The chuckle was dry and if you would've looked close enough, you would’ve been able to see that Heeseung was taken aback by your sudden laughter. But you didn’t, no, instead you inhaled through gritted teeth as your pointer finger came into contact with the boy's chest.

‘’You are fucking miserable, you know that?’’ You hissed, your voice shaky as you spoke. ‘’All you fucking do is ruin things, Heeseung, not only for others but for yourself,’’ Heeseung just stared down at you as you continued speaking, your pointer finger hitting his chest repeatedly as fresh tears dropped down your cheeks. ‘’You’re cruel for leading me on, you’re cruel for even coming onto me in the first place,’’

Looking up at him, you shook your head. ‘’And this? Whatever this is,’’ You continued, pointing between the two of you, ‘’It ends now.’’

Another snort was heard coming from the boy standing in front of you. ‘’Whatever this is? This is nothing, Y/N, there is nothing to end,’’ He spat at you, ‘’There was never anything to begin with.’’

Feeling like someone had just struck you with a knife, jabbing it deep into your heart before twisting it; you just stared at the boy in front of you. His face remained emotionless as your fingertip remained pressed up against his chest, clenching your jaw before letting your hand fall down your side. ‘’Fuck you, Heeseung,’’ You whispered, scared that your voice would break if you spoke any louder, ‘’Fuck you for even coming into my life.’’

Walking past him, you let your shoulder brush against his own; the impact causing him to lightly stumble; slightly turning his body to look at you while you walked away from him, using your fingertips to desperately wipe away the tears that had fallen from your eyes.

With an aching feeling that had now settled deep into your chest, replacing the heavy feeling that had once lingered; you realized that Heeseung had managed to take you down one final time.

And with a clenched jaw and his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands, Heeseung realized that you, too, had managed to take him down.

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charmedreincarnation · 8 months

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I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #void state #shiftblr #reality shifting #school #hot girl scholar 👩‍🏫#college

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sweetlittlegingy · 2 years

Text

I Don't Start Shit, But I Can Tell You How It Ends

✦ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Better Man Universe

✦Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Single!Mother, Dagger Squad vs. Davis

✦Word Count: 2.8 K

✦Warnings: Protective!Hangman, Angry!Hangman, Protective!Dagger Squad, Asshole Guy, Failed Drugging, Jake hints at killing people...

✦A/n: The Dagger Squad finally gets ahold of Mathew's old Principle. They really hate the man, we all do tbh! Day 2 of 500 celebration!!!!

✦Library (Follow for updates! I no longer have a taglist.)

He’d told you he wouldn’t go to the school, and Jake Seresin was nothing if not a man of his word. Especially when the promise was made to you. No, Jake had informed Rooster of the situation. Of how the piece of shit, Davis, had touched you and made completely inappropriate comments about not only you, but also Mathew.

Jake had gone to Rooster knowing that the information would have him on a manhunt, and it did. Rooster was overwhelmingly protective of you, and though Jake had hated it at times, right now he was more than thankful for it. What Jake hadn’t meant to have happen, was to have Bob overhear him and Rooster talking.

No, that was defiantly not a part of the plan.

Though it quickly became a part of it.

“I figure, you go in and sweet talk the office Lady and —”

The slam of the locker room doors had Jake pausing, both him and Rooster looking over their shoulders to see a fuming Phoenix.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Her tone has both the pilots, exchanging a worried glance. Glancing behind Phoenix’s form at the other two male pilots, hoping that their faces would provide a revelation.

Jake's eyes first meet Coyote, a hard unamused gaze meeting his own. His eyes leave his best friend, to flitter between Bob’s own unusually hard gaze and Phoenix, her eyes never leaving his own. Her hands rested on her hips, giving both Jake and Rooster a ‘What The Fuck’ look.

“Nix baby, what’s wrong?” Rooster's tone causes a scoff to fall from Phoenix’s lips, taking a step toward the two of them. Both Rooster and Jake to step back, one hand leaving her hip to point at the two of them. A silent accusation.

“When were you going to tell me that my sister-in-law,” Her gaze cutting to Bradley harshly. “and god-son were getting FUCKING harassed by some idiot Principal.”

Both of them remained quiet; never noticing, until now, that lock room floors were remarkably shiny.

“Hmm?”

“Baby, I was going to tell you—”

“Don’t even Chicken,” the name instantly shutting the man up. She’d only ever used it on him when he was in trouble, using it more often than she did his actual name. “You are sleeping on the couch tonight.”

He shouldn’t have laughed, but Jake loved to see Rooster get in trouble. His laugh quickly dies though, when Phoenix’s pointed finger cuts to him.

“And you, what was the plan? Huh?”

“Trace, I had a plan.”

The sound of dripping water echoed through the silent locker room, each of the pilots waiting for Jake to continue. Jake’s eyes moved back to Rooster, who remained not only silent, but looked like he’d just gotten his favorite toy taken away from him.

Jake’s eyes rolled, realizing that Rooster would be no help to him. The 6-foot-something pilot was already in the doghouse with the wife, and wouldn’t be risking getting more sleepless nights on the couch.

“I mean it’s a work in progress, me and Rooster were hashing it out.”

A grunt leaves Rooster, “Look baby I was just listening, and then I was gonna come tell you.”

His head slowly nodding, “Yeah, I was actually about to tell Hangman that we need your input.”

It was clearly a lie, everyone knew it.

But Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, was in fact the biggest suck-up to his wife. If Jake wasn’t so in love with you, he would’ve laughed. Though from the moment he had met you, he was yours. You said jump, and he said how high.

“You’re an idiot. I love you, but you’re an idiot.” Walking over to Rooster, she gives him a soft kiss, her gaze then bouncing between Jake and Rooster. “But also, you do need me.”

….

Phoenix’s plan was no doubt better, than what the two pilots had initially thought of. Rooster didn’t love the fact that Phoenix was the “bait” in the situation, but she’d quickly told him to shut up before the protest could leave his mouth.

The first part of the plan had worked smoothly, Phoenix and Bob had quickly found Davis’s Facebook page and found the general area in which he lived. They had also learned what car he drove, and like the damn detective that she was, Phoenix found the man’s choice grocery store to shop at.

The momentum of the plan acceleration, like a snowball rolling down the hill. With a “accidental” meeting in the fresh fruit section, Phoenix quickly had a date set with the man.

That was last week which led to here and now, as Phoenix sat at the bar in the Hard Deck, wearing a dress and waiting for her date to show up. The guys crowded around the pool table, causally playing as if they weren’t about to beat the shit out of some middle-aged man soon enough.

You were home with Mathew and Jake knew that you wouldn’t be coming out. He would usually be with you and Maty, but he’d told you that he needed to handle an issue at the Hard Deck with Roos. You hadn’t even questioned it, only asked if he would be coming by after, to which he replied of course.

…

The bar was slightly crowded for a Thursday night, though it didn’t stop the pilots from clocking the door every time it opened. Before long, Davis had shown up, 20 minutes late to the “date,” but he had showed.

Jake notices the way Phoenix slightly stiffens as Davis’s hand rests a tad low on her lower back, and he has to grab Rooster before he goes and beats the shit of the man. Phoenix glances back at the group of guys, meeting Rooster's eyes and giving him a silent ‘I’m okay.’ He relaxes slightly in Jake’s hold, but is still slightly tense as he moves back to the pool table. The group continues the game of pool, eyes fleeting between the game and the bar.

They watch as Phoenix holds a conversation with the man, though maintains a safe distance from his wandering hands. They hadn’t told Penny about the plan, the group of pilots grin as they notice her continually checking in on Phoenix.

….

Penny had once again made her way over to Phoenix and the man, giving her a smile and the man a harsh glare. Penny knew that this couldn’t be one of Phoenix and Rooster's plans to spice up their marriage, no she could tell that this was different.

“Can I get you two a refill?”

“Yeah baby, get me a beer and – ” Davis looks over to Phoenix, before turning back to Penny. “Get her cocktail.”

Penny recoils at the name he calls her and glances back to Phoenix who has remained silent.

“She usually takes a beer or shoots liquor, buddy.”

“Yeah, well cocktails are ladylike.”

The comment has both the women rolling their eyes, Penny’s eyes moving back to the group of pilots, and raises an eyebrow at Rooster.

Rising up from her seat, the dress fluttering down around her hips, drawing Davis’s eyes directly to her tan legs, catching his gaze, Phoenix scoffs.

“Get me whatever Pen, I’m going to the bathroom.”

She leaves before Davis can say anything, more than fed up with the overly handsy and sexist man. Making her way past the group of pilots, she silently looks at them, before going into the bathroom.

…

Jake is making his way to the bar before the bathroom door is fully closed. He slides up to the bar, right next to Davis as he flags down Penny.

“Penny ma’ dear, can I get a whiskey?”

He can feel Davis’ eyes on him, silently watching and assessing. While waiting for Penny, Jake leans his back against the bar, his eyes finally landing on Davis.

“Do I know you?” Jake’s eyes stare at the man, like a lion taunting his prey.

“Nah, don’t think so.”

The reply is short and to the point, but it has Jake laughing slightly. Turning back to lean his forearms on the bar, his gaze harsh and waiting for Davis to bite.

“No, I know you from somewhere.”

Davis doesn’t get a chance to answer as Penny arrives again handing Jake the whiskey and setting down the two drinks for Phoenix and Davis.

“You drinking that girly shit man? Cuz I know Nix doesn’t.”

The comment makes Davis release an uneasy breath, before ignoring Jake altogether. The pilot looks back over his shoulder at the group of guys patiently waiting by the pool table.

If he hadn’t turned back when he did, Jake would have missed it. Lucky, Jake sees it as Davis mixes a bag of powder into Phoenix’s drink.

“Oh buddy, you did not just do that.”

Though the words sound light, the comment is anything but as Jake lays a hand harshly on Davis’s shoulder.

“Listen here, this has nothing to do with you. So just go back to your little friends and leave me be.”

Jake’s tongue slightly clicks at the man, head caulking to the side and laying a harsh gaze upon him. His eyes calculating as ever. Jake has been pissed off before, but now, after this, he was just about ready to kill Davis.

The tick of his jaw, gives Jake away “You know, I thought you looked familiar. You are the piece of shit, who fucked with my girl.”

Grasping the glass of whiskey, Jake shoots the rest of it back. Arm falling to rest upon bar, as he gives Davis his signature award-winning smirk.

“Now here’s what’s gonna happen, Penny ma’ dear you’re going to ring that bell and asshole here is going to pay for a round of drinks.” His soft gaze moves from Penny and back to a clearly worried Davis, eyes instantly hardening when they make contact with Davis‘s own.

“Me and you, we’re gonna go outside and have a little talk, about how you treat women.”

Before he can reply, Bradley and Coyote each grab one of Davis’s arms, and drag him out of the bar as Penny rings the bell in the background. Davis lands harshly on the ground, as Rooster and Coyote release him with a harsh shove. The group of pilots crowded around him, each of them staring down at him with bitter gazes.

“I don’t know wha—”

The words instantly die on Davis’s lips, as Jake crouches down next to him. The surrounding group intent on quietly watching; waiting for Jake to make the first move. Rooster hadn’t seen, the way Davis slipped a powder into Phoenix’s drink, though when he found out Jake was sure he’d want to kill the man just as much.

“Now I’m sure you don’t remember, given that you seem like the type of scum that regularly hits on women without their consent.”

The harsh jab Jake lays on the man’s chest, send him back a bit. The boys had seen Jake mad before, but never like this. Never with such fire and anger burning in his green eyes.

“You see, you made my girl cry. Not just that, you put your hands on my girl, and then you have the nerve to talk about how she’s raising our son.”

Sure, Mathew wasn’t his son yet legally, but with or without the paperwork he was still Jake’s boy.

“She showed up at your office, wanting to have a talk about how your school had been treating Mathew. But she comes home to me crying and hides in the bathroom until I knocked the fuckin’ door down.”

His voice slowly rose with every word, and watching as his words sink in. Jake laughs as he watches Davis pales upon his realization of the words. Jake’s hand raises up to smack Davis gently across the face laughing as he does so.

“Ahhhh, there it is.”

Jake quickly rises back up to stand over the man, turning back around to the group of pilots and motions them to go grab him. As Rooster and Coyote grab onto the man, lifting him back onto his feet, Jake slowly makes a show.

He always like to show off, it made people uneasy. Jake liked making sure everyone knew just how good he was. He glances over his shoulder, as he unbuttons the khaki uniform top, pulling it off so he’s only wearing the white undershirt with his khaki pants. Glancing back at the man with that well-known smirk,

“Can’t have you bleeding on my good clothes.”

He says it so easily, but he knows that it hits its mark, as Davis shutters slightly in Coyote and Roosters hold.

The sound of the bar doors opening, has the group looking back toward the entrance. Watching as Phoenix exits the bar and makes her way to the group.

“Did I miss anything?”

Davis silently stares at the woman, his eyes moving between Jake and her. The realization slowly crept in that this whole night was a set-up; the meet-up in the grocery store, Jake coming up to him in the bar, and now here with his back pressed against the side of the bar wall.

“Not a thing, Trace.”

The shift of Davis’ shoulders sends everyone's eyes back to him, watching and calculating just how bad his night might become.

“Now as you can tell, well maybe you can’t cause you’re an idiot, but we’re all in the Navy. And with the Navy, comes call signs.”

Jake’s form comes to a halt, staring down Davis with a wicked smile that just about sends Rooster and Coyote running.

“My callsign, well there are few people that know the real reason behind it, but you’re about to find out buddy.”

Glances are exchanged between the other pilots, though it’s Coyote's gaze that never leaves Jake’s. He’d been there when Jake earned the name Hangman. It had been a long time ago, but he knew that Jake, still lay just beneath the surface.

“See everybody likes to assume, that it’s because I like flying alone. Well, that just ain’t it, nope.”

The calculated steps, unnerving gaze, and the way in which Jake talks were clearly meant to scare the man.

Let it be known, that when you pissed Jacob Grant Seresin off, all hell would break loose.

Jake’s right arm shootouts, to grasp Davis’s neck so fast that I has Phoenix gasping. The other pilots only shift slightly at the brutal action.

“No, I got named Hangman because I’ve been known to string up men and play the judge, jury, and executioner.”

With each title that falls from his lips, Jake lifts Davis slowly until his feet no longer touch the ground and the only thing keeping him up, is the hand clasped around his neck.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

The group of pilots remain unmoving, all watching in unnerving silence and slowly comprehending the way in which Jake actually got his callsign. Davis tries to nod his head, though the hand around his neck makes it near impossible. As if only to taunt him more, Jake taps his ear slightly with his left hand.

“What was that?”

Shades from red to a light purple, start to cover Davis’s face, a clear sign of his lack of oxygen. His mouth moves though no words can fall from it. A sharp chuckle leaves Jake’s lips, as he loses his grip slightly as the man gasps for air.

“I understand.” The panting of his breath only makes Jake smile widen.

“Good.”

As the single word is muttered from Jake’s lips, the right hand once clasped over Davis’ neck drops. His body falls to the floor on the concrete, causing him to lean back against the bar wall, gasping for air.

“And I thought you would be more fun to break.” His tone light and easy, completely unfazed by the events that just occurred.

Jake reaches over to take his shirt from Phoenix, giving each of his friends the smile that they all came to know once Jake met you. He was a completely different person, than the one he was just moments ago. As he pulls the shirt back on, without missing a beat Jake lowers himself down to Davis. Laughing slightly at how the man flinches away from him.

“Don’t ever come around my girl or son again.”

The tone of his voice sends another shockwave through Davis’s body. Rising without any care for the man, Jake kicks the man’s limp foot before turning ready to get home to you.

A final glance over his shoulder, to the group of his friends still standing around Davis unsure of what to do.

“Hey Roos, I forgot to tell you that he tried to drug Nix.”

The final words, might as well have been those that a coroner would’ve signed in the finalization of the death certificate.

#better man universe #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x you #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #bradley bradshaw #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #top gun #natasha phoenix trace #robert bob floyd #javy coyote machado #mickey fanboy garcia #rueben payback fitch

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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 2 months

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Who is White?

If it is not I, your friendly neighbourhood non-binary deranged literature major, once again to tell you about stuff that the voices™︎ have prompted me.

This time, let's talk about the elephant in the room, the odd one out: Mr. White, a.k.a the fandom's babyboy.

(me as Fluke in this GIF, walking in ready to dissect this bitch)

So, what do we factually know about this man?

From what we're directly told in the show:

He's Tee's boyfriend, at least, since 12th grade, meaning they have been together for about 3 years, maybe 4 (depending on when exactly we are in terms of time in the present and when exactly during 12th grade they started dating).

He's younger than the rest of them, according to Por and Top in episode 1.

He studied at a different school from the main gang AND from Phee (yes, despite the embroidery having a similar colour, the writings where the institution's name should be are nothing alike, thus, not from the same place)

He cares a lot about his appearance (he does skincare when Por is literally dying downstairs and he sees a rash on his body while under the effect of New's absynthe - idk if it's absynthe or not but my friends and I have been calling it that since we saw them drink the green drinks so it's absynthe for me and there's that).

He's generally a very respectful person (he always speaks formally and nicely to everyone, even when people are hostile to him, like Tee or Fluke).

His fear doesn't seem to paralyze him in high-pressure situations (he strikes people with a tripod twice to save himself and others when he thinks they're in danger).

Another source could be the Yearbook, which, now, we have to be a bit more skeptical about because, as seen in New's case, it's not 100% accurate. One can argue that it is accurate because the yearbook would have Tan's info, since that's who he's living as and no one knows any better than that, including the institutions and, sure, yeah, fair. But while we don't know that White is hiding anything from us as well, we can't be sure of it. So, take the following with a grain of salt:

(translated with Google Translate)

His legal name is Watcharin Siriphan

He was born on the 25th of February 2005 (which confirms what Por and Top say)

His blood type is A (which according to the Blood Type Personality Theory means he is shy, stubborn, a perfectionist, polite and hard-working, apparently. tbh this thing is super shifty, no source seems to agree on the meaning of each type and, of course, it's a pseudoscience and all, so... yeah. take it as you will)

He's studying Software Engineering

He likes cakes

He dislikes cockroaches

He plays games and programs in his free time

So... We don't know much. He's the most generic person ever. Like... I too, and half the world's population, like cake, dislike cockroaches and like to play games. It's not exactly very special. Which is exactly why he is so intriguing. After all, we had 5 whole episodes so far, which were just the backstory of the people we see together in the mansion in the present. We've seen their personalities, their qualities and flaws, what they did and what they didn't do. We've been given a reason as to why they're here. Not just in the more direct sense of "they agreed to come here for Jin's goodbye party" but of why exactly they needed to be put all together in these conditions for this story. All except White. White is just... Barely an afterthought. We're shown when he comes into this story for the group (when he becomes Tee's boyfriend), but we're not given a reason so far as to why the narrative wants him there.

Because, sure, IRL people sometimes end up in random places and things can be pretty meaningless but this is a work of fiction. One that, evidently, has been greatly focused on details (Non's framed apple picture and Phee eating an apple alone, for example, or the correlation between the group and the colour blue). So why would it just throw us a character that is, seemingly, irrelevant to the story?

And to this, there are 2 possibilities my friends: either White is a narrative tool to get to the audience or White is not who we think he is. So let's explore it, shall we?

White = Narrative Tool

Let's start by assuming, possibly the most likely outcome, that White is exactly just a guy who ended up there due to his connection to Tee. Why would this narrative need that character?

Glad you asked. Because he's the only person who's 100% innocent. If he's just some guy who, as we've seen, keeps being respectful and nice and trying to always do the right thing, then he's got nothing to do with the others who, in different degrees are all guilty of something. He's the odd one out.

Because, yes, this is not a show of villains (at least, not in which concerns the main characters). They're all morally grey. But they have some drop of black that makes them grey.

Por is arrogant and a liar and selfish.

Tee is aggressive and manipulative and a control freak.

Top is an overall asshole and a coward.

These 3 actively bully Non. Por steals his work. Tee and Top blame him for shit he didn't do which puts in the situation where he owns Por and they spy on him. Tee manipulates him into mafia money laundry and threatens him.

Fluke is selfish and refuses to take action even when he knows it's the right thing to do.

Jin's doesn't have the capability to realize that the peaceful passive way with which he normally carries himself with won't solve the issue. Plus he's overly emotional. And a bit selfish too.

They didn't help Non when it was their moral obligation to do so. And Jin records him being abused by their teacher and possibly posts it online (though that's still up for debate).

Phee is too stubborn and also overly emotional and even overly empathic.

New is obsessive and vengeful.

Phee never really helps Non because all the ways he offers Non help are the wrong ones. He almost tries to control him. And he fails. And then he tells him awful things and breaks up with him in a terribly vulnerable moment for Non. And even when he regrets it and tries to bring justice to him, he fucks Jin because he wanted to and tries to cover it up as if it was part of the plan. Sure, they were broken up, technically, but Phee himself seems to have had "take-backies" over that breaking up. So, in his mind, at least, it's fair to say he cheats on him, which is very hypocritical after how he reacts to Non being abused. And New... He tries to help sincerely because he feels guilty but he only makes things worse. Nothing is solved and their father curses them both before committing public suicide at their mom's funeral.

Non (which may be even more relevant if he's still alive) is overly independent and uncommunicative.

He doesn't tell Jin he has a boyfriend when it's clear Jin's trying to make a move on him, event though Non's not interested. He hides very important things from Phee. He commits fraud (understandably, but yeah). And yeah, he's justified in his rage and attack but... Does he ever think of how his actions affect other such as Jin, for example, who, in his eyes, is innocent? Not really.

"Oh but White won't die!", I hear you say. "The innocent people never die in slashers!! Only the people who did the killer wrong do!" And that's exactly where I have to disagree.

So, amidst a sea of grey characters, White is, funnily enough: white. He's just good. He's done nothing wrong. And the narrative needs him because, when the others die, we'll feel (to different degrees, sure, but still, we will) that there's a reason. Even if we like the characters, those deaths will make sense. But what happens when an innocent man dies? What happens when you kill the man who wasn't even supposed to be there (he joined the trip at the last minute)?

As @syrena-del-mar says in this post: "DFF is more than just a 90s slasher film imitation". It "sits at a novel intersection of genre: horror slasher on the one hand and BL on the other hand" as @brifrischu puts it here and, for that, it bends expectations and rules and subverts what are natural tropes and events of the slasher archetype. White dying is the sort of thing this narrative, and our inventive genius Sammon, would do. Because... Do you really think they're giving us grey characters instead of black ones because we're supposed not to question this revenge? Because we're supposed to be happy about this? No. Of course not. That would be dumb. If we're meant to 100% side with the killer, then why give us likeable characters as the targets? Because, and this is as much speculation as it is reading the room, we're not.

This story, I don't know how it will end, but regardless I'm pretty confident it's supposed to tell us something important about cycles of violence: that they're neverending until someone chooses peace instead. That aggression and bloodshed and revenge... They won't bring time back, they won't undo the mistakes we make, they won't restore that which is lost, they won't make the grief go away... That they won't make us feel better. More even: that they will only hurt more people, create more injustice and prompt more revenge. And, thus, perpetuate the cycle.

So what's White's role? Being the final drop into our collective cup of realization (and perhaps the characters' as well) that this revenge mission is pointless and won't solve anything. White's role is to die.

"Oh, but uncle Dang was also innocent! Is his death not enough??", I hear you ask. And well... Maybe, maybe not. I think, honestly, his death is too impersonal for us to feel too deeply about it. Like, sure, yes, it is the death of an innocent, but it's a distant innocent. It doesn't make our blood boil because we don't know shit about that man. But, for all we don't know of White's past, we've seen him cry, we've seen him scared, we've seen him fight for his life, we've seen him be a good boyfriend and a good friend. He might just be some dude but we like him. He's the fandom's babyboy, as I said. It is more impactful and it tells the story better.

But this is just a hypothesis. And it might not convince you. And that's fair. So, because I'm a persistent obnoxious fucker with a little too much free time, I'm bringing you a second theory. For this one, though... You might need a little tinfoil hat... Be prepared.

White ≠ Who He Says He Is

So, if you think just having a character be hollow and pure good in a show of very fleshed-out and grey characters is weird, even if he might be narratively relevant, then we can only assume there's something important to White's character we don't know about yet. (I'm adding this in retrospective because I forgot but this idea came to me partially from @yellingaboutkp and their great analysis of horns in the show that you can find here)

But what could that be? We've seemingly seen all the flashbacks we needed from everyone, White doesn't seem very relevant to anyone's storyline but Tee's but... We'd assume if there was something directly connected to Tee's actions and White that we needed to see, we would've. Admittedly, the next episode seems to be on its way to tell us what Tee knows about what happened to Non and Keng while they were captured by the mafia and he could be there but I think, honestly, that it goes deeper than that. And here's why: because there's a person who's even more of an odd one out then White: whoever Perth's character is.

Now, he would've been completely unsuspicious if it wasn't for one thing: Perth's presence in the promotion of this series. He's just... Always there, somehow? Like, his character has only really appeared last episode massaging Tee's uncle but he's constantly talking about this series. Plus, his name is very well credited. AND, the absolute cherry on top, his character appears in THIS poster:

Now, yeah, I understand Marketing and Publicity (it's part of my Master's, you don't have to explain it to me). So, I know this could very well just be a strategy to sell the series. After all, Perth did get a lot of attention after The Hidden Character, I know, I know. It's also a way to put his name out there for other future roles, kinda like a soft launch. Plus, this is the show that killed Us's character first when he was one of the most popular actors in the cast. HOWEVER, I'd argue that, considering the previously mentioned attention to detail, they would not have given one of their rising stars a role in this series if it wasn't important. Like... No other background character without lines (so far) was given an important actor to play it. So pardon me, but I don't buy it. Perth's character's gotta matter somehow. And, back to what I was saying, I think the next episode will be exactly where.

See, I made a poll here on the hellsite asking what y'all think happened to Non. It's this one. And it shows that, overwhelmingly, we all think Non is alive BECAUSE he was helped by the man himself:

"Okay, Dante, but, even if that's true, where does White fit in all this?" Glad. You. Asked.

Now, if we're assuming Perth's character's the one that's gonna help Non (and possibly Keng or maybe not, idk and it really doesn't matter for now), we've gotta assume he's a possible suspect for the murderer. And even more so under this optic that Non is alive. Who more than a person whose whole reality seemed to be the mafia and who might've escaped it would be okay with murdering people? Right? Or, on the contrary, that he took a liking to Non and is trying to prevent him from further digging himself a hole in life and is trying to save him from himself.

You see, I didn't watch The Hidden Character (and those who did apparently recommend it stays that way). I didn't know any of these people before except those who were in Kinnporsche. And you know what that led me to? Curiously enough, dear reader: confusing Fuaiz with Perth. So, yeah, you know where this is going... White and Perth's character might be related. Brothers, probably.

"All because you think they look alike?" Well, if you ignore the way I just explained how it would tie some very loose ends... Yeah, kinda. BUT, in my defence, it makes a lot of genetic sense.

See, no other characters in the show really look this much alike. Believe me, I tested it.

For this purpose, I tried many different sites but the one that seemed to give me the most reliable results was FaceShape. Most characters got no more than 10%, some even got 0% (e.g. New and Perth's Character). And you wanna know how much White and Perth's character got? Nearly 50%.

For comparison reasons, New and Non who are CANONICALLY brothers, got about 30%.

BUT, if this is not convincing enough, my sister and I (who share EXACTLY the same 2 parents) got lower than them.

(pls ignore the picture, I was trynna make it as accurate as possible so I took a front pic with a neutral expression. also, my sister is censored for privacy reasons)

Now... Will I claim this is irrefutable proof? No. Not at all, but think about it: if White and Perth are related that might maybe explain how Tee and White met. It might also explain that really weird scene in the pre-release trailer (albeit all scenes in that are rather odd) where White-

Yes, thank you, Obi-Wan. And Anakin Tee is looking up at him, as if White has more power than Tee does. Because then, it could probably mean that White knows something and is probably there to do something. What exactly? Idk, man. He could be there to ensure the group remains clueless/confused or that they remain where they need to be for things to work... Or he could be there to try and prevent stuff from happening much to the likeness of what I stated for Perth's character's case.

"Oh, but if he knows something, wouldn't he know what happened to Non? Why would he be curious to watch the recording??"

Well, not necessarily. We know Non is not communicative and that he doesn't typically share his problems with anyone (the exception being Keng, obviously, but then again, the exception confirms the rule). And sure, Keng might be more talkative but idk if he would say something if Non asked him not to. I have a feeling he probably wouldn't (since he has that weird thing JJ mentioned about how he "loves Non" and, therefore, even if he's an abuser, he doesn't perceive himself that way and wouldn't do something he actively thinks would hurt Non). So, while Perth's character would know what happened to Non while he was being held by Tee's uncle and even some things about why he is there, he probably wouldn't know the rest.

But then why would he date Tee? Well, this is a narrative so... Foils are something that can happen. Having White and his relationship with Tee be a parallel to that of Phee and Jin is not weird and, in fact, has happened in the very first episode when both couples arrive at the room where the singles are, in pairs. Therefore, it wouldn't be weird to think of White as someone who maybe also fell in love with the guy that was supposed to be a means to an end or, alternatively, and perhaps more interestingly, have White NOT be in love with him and actually succeed, unlike Phee. Thus, drawing the comparison that, while Tee and White are in a relationship, White didn't fall in love and, inversely, while Phee and Jin aren't in a relationship, Phee did fall in love.

And this would mean that all we've seen of White's fear might, in fact, be an act to throw suspicion off of him. Or even more justified because he knows exactly what's lurking in the woods... After all, why would he suddenly join Jin's goodbye party if he's not a friend of Jin's? What reason better than to tag along your boyfriend's getaway with his friends if not to protect him from the terrible consequences of his actions?

But I get it. It's an extremely convoluted theory and, in all honesty, maybe makes the show more dull and boring if it's true because... Why would they repeat this "secret brother" twist? Or the dating with second intentions trope? It could be a narrative parallel, yes, but I can also definitely see how people could point that out as uncreative or lazy writing.

Either way: these thoughts were circling around my head and, before the next episode confirms or destroys them, I wanted to get them out into the world for y'all to, maybe, hopefully, join in on the hype for it, as it's less than 24h 'till it airs. Hope in that I was successful, at the very least.

Anyway... As usual feel free to (politely) argue with me, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I missed this and that, add to it, etc... Because if there's one thing I currently love more than DFF itself, it's definitely the fandom and I want us to make the most of it!!

I'll see y'all tomorrow when we're freaking out about episode 10!!!

All the love! 💜💜💜

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she-is-ovarit · 8 months

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This is for all the younger gen Z women, particularly those of you within the ages of 17 to roughly 23. This is written from an American perspective, things might be a little different depending on where you're from.

I graduated high school with the unconscious assumption that certain systems will take care of me. The medical system would educate me on proper nutrition and health issues was probably my largest underlying assumption, but really I just had trust in institutions generally.

This isn't true. You are responsible for learning. As an example, I have been vegetarian since age 14. Nobody talked to me about proper nutrition, they just told me I needed to eat more protein.

I lived a decade of my life having shortness of breath, sleeping issues, clumsiness, cold hands and feet, having brain fog, extreme fatigue, heightened anxiety, etc. My period was extremely light and brown, it'd last for about 2 or so days. I'd go and talk about these problems, and telling doctors that I was vegetarian was one of the first things that came out of my mouth just with any visit because I knew at least that piece was important to communicate.

There was really no action taken over the span of about 10 years. I was told the period thing was normal, that changes for women. A sleep specialist let me know that feeling exhausted was also normal. The brain fog was probably due to anxiety. Here, try allergy medication (tbh that did help for other reasons). Then one day I just asked them to check my vitamin and mineral levels. Prior to this I didn't think you can make requests to doctors, I thought you showed up and they performed tests on what they recommended. With some reluctance from my primary care physician and some compromise because she said my insurance wouldn't cover testing things like B12 levels (I later found out from a nurse that, they would, she would have just needed to fill out extra paperwork), she did some tests.

I found out both my iron and D3 levels were low. What else could be?

I later learned pretty much all the vitamins common to be low for vegetarians were low. D3, magnesium, vitamin Bs, iron, and healthy fats. Bought some liquid vitamins (because the body only absorbs 10% of the pill supplements), began eating an avocado a day, my period became normal for the first time in nine years, and I am able to function.

Another example of how human systems won't educate you: I don't have feeling in some of my toes due to wearing incorrect sized footwear for years resulting in permanent nerve damage. I'm size 11.5 in women's, and I was relying on someone to tell me how proper footwear worked, because surely the guy in the minimum wage position working the footwear section would know.

Don't trust human systems to guide you through how certain things work. Seek specific specialists and experts when you can, and inform yourself on your own. Don't blindly trust search engines like Google, it's not like how it used to be when I was growing up and many millennial adults will tell you to "just google things" because we're used to finding actual substantive answers when we do. However, now, usually whoever pays is who makes the first page or two of search engines, it has nothing to do with what information is "most correct". Don't be afraid to request certain tests be done by doctors or certain referrals made to different specialists.

Edit: And also, I've found general practitioners are terrible when you walk in and tell them about several different symptoms at one time. They're more used to treating one symptom at a time, and they treat the symptom not the root cause. If you go in with a runny nose, general practitioners are going to throw medications at you to try and treat the runny nose, not look deeper into what's causing the runny nose. It's equivalent to if you're in a boat and it's sinking, they're bailing out water without actually fixing the hole or trying to figure out where it is, with the exception of emergency situations and even then it depends.

#tangent #health #nutrition #gen z #medical system #healthcare #women's health

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silantryoo · 1 year

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midnight rain — huh yunjin x non-idol!reader

yunjin can't help but reminisce about what she left to achieve her dreams.

WARNINGS ; self-depreciation, cyber-bullying

TAGS ; the huh sisters are the best, y/n is the most supportive gf ever, yunjin sacrificed sm, someone check on y/n, idek if this is a happy ending or not, yunjin using y/n as a coping mechanism tbh

GENRE ; fluff, angst (4.2k)

huh yunjin had the whole world in the palm of her hands.

there were thousands of people out there, longing for the idol's attention. she could win anyone's heart over, just with a couple words and her goofy smile, but none of them could ever compare to you.

huh yunjin might rule the world, but you still and will always rule hers.

yunjin met you right after she had finished produce 48.

she had left korea feeling like a shell of her former self. yunjin had gotten the taste of a dream that she so badly longed for, and one she most likely would never be able to achieve again. she had missed her only chance, and there was no getting it back.

it didn't help that mainland korea had turned its back on the then-aspiring idol.

she had read through the produce forums almost daily since then. yunjin spent hours scrolling, letting every horrible thing said build inside her like a sickly virus.

glad huh yunjin didn't make it. she's a backstabbing bitch. (+193, -21)

did huh yunjin die? i hope so (+86, -7)

i hope huh yunjin never debuts!!!!!!!!! (+273, -11)

huh yunjin knew she was done for.

she went back to new york mid-september a year later, back to the high school that she dreaded going to, another reminder that she will never, ever be who she wanted.

"um," yunjin felt a tap on her shoulder. "you know the school library isn't open twenty-four hours, right?"

"huh?" yunjin wiped her eyes. she glanced at the clock behind the strange girl. 7:12. "shit, sorry. i didn't realize."

"it's fine. i'm closing this place up soon." yunjin watched as the girl's eyes locked onto hers. she could feel her heart in her throat. "you can stay, if you want."

"i want to, uh..." yunjin cleared her throat. "i'll stay."

"okay."

yunjin forgot about everything for a moment.

"okay."

yunjin was never a studious person.

the girl had decent grades, but she never actually put effort into studying, not like her sister or her friends around her. it came to her naturally, and yunjin had other priorities such as working on her musical skills (something that she had abandoned as soon as she stepped foot on american soil once more).

but a week later, yunjin found herself sitting in front of her younger sister, watching as she did her homework.

"unnie?" her sister, rachel, eyed the brunette weirdly. "why are you here?"

"why?" yunjin stared at the empty desk in front of her, looking around the library to find the others full of papers. "can't i study?"

"no. you can't." rachel tapped her pencil. "you're literally incapable of studying."

"wow, okay." the former trainee scoffed. "i've had a change of heart."

rachel shook her head.

"i get losing in produce sucks, but i don't think you could do a 180 that fast." yunjin winced, rachel opening up fresh wounds. the older huh knew that the girl was just trying to make light of the situation, but it still hurt like hell. "it's been like... three weeks."

yunjin knew it had been three weeks. three weeks, two days, and five hours since she landed back in america. she didn't need rachel to remind her, not when the entire world already had.

"can you shut up?" yunjin snapped, gripping the backpack she was holding on her lap.

the younger huh flinched, the silence of the library amplifying yunjin's aggression.

rachel looked at her sister, yunjin's eyes shut tight as she tried to calm herself down. the young girl had never been good with emotions, but she wanted nothing more than to tell her sister that it was okay to feel upset.

(even if rachel knew yunjin wouldn't listen.)

"oh hey, rach." yunjin's eyes opened, her head turning to the sound of a familiar voice, soothing the former trainee. "what are you doing?"

rachel hummed, setting her pencil down. "working on the assignment from our econ class."

you made your way between the huh sisters, looking at the diligent note-taking of the younger girl to your left.

"why?" you muttered. you were sure that the due date didn't change. "that's due next week."

"no?" you felt your heart drop. "it's due tomorrow."

"oh shit." your eyes widened, covering your mouth. you were screwed. "i need to find nadine."

rachel looked at you with a smile. it was hard to believe that you were only a month younger than yunjin. though yunjin never cared for schoolwork, she was always hardworking when necessary. you on the other hand...

"who was that?"

rachel looked at her sister, yunjin's eyes trained at your retreating figure. "y/n?"

yunjin couldn't help but smile. the name fit you perfectly. "yeah."

"she's my classmate from my AP econ class." rachel squinted. yunjin was a bit too interested in you for it to just be curious. "she's a junior this year... why?"

yunjin's eyes widened, the former trainee's face unable to hide her surprise.

"why are you taking AP?" she tried to change the subject. "aren't you 14?"

"i wanna get into NYU." rachel sighed, picking up the pencil as she bit back multiple remarks that would leave her sister cursing at her. "leave me alone."

yunjin felt a pang in her chest.

it had slipped her mind that she had to think about university now. where she was going to commit, scholarships and loans...

yunjin tried her best to not seem fazed. dreams were meant to be dreamt, not fufilled. the sooner she knew that, the better it was for her.

"you're such a nerd."

"you're literally a theater kid, unnie." rachel bit back, too immersed in her work to notice the mood drop. "you can't talk."

yunjin stared at her sister, hoping that she would never feel that way.

(but in the back of her mind, through all the guilt and anger, she couldn't help but linger at the thought of you).

yunjin was starting to like the library.

it was quiet, and peaceful (minus the many kids who were scrambling to study for a test in the corner of the library). it let her think about everything, letting her sit in her feelings. plus, the library had the ambiance of the produce practice rooms early in the morning, something that the former trainee greatly missed.

"are you here to read through your phone again?"

yunjin could feel the hairs on her neck stand up. "huh?"

yunjin, eyes trained on your figure, watched as you took a seat across from her.

"you and rach look a lot alike." you said, humming as you set your chin on your hand. "i should've known that you were her sister."

yunjin pushed back a smile.

(she'd never tell anyone, but part of her was worried that rachel no longer looked up to her.)

"she told you about me?"

"she brags about you all the time." you smiled at yunjin's grin. "something about being a kpop idol, i dunno. i'm not good with that stuff."

the former trainee pursed her lips.

"oh, well," yunjin chuckled awkwardly, the awkwardness in her chest starting to change into pain. "i don't think that's gonna happen."

you looked her up and down. "why not?"

yunjin could think of multiple reasons, ones that she had internalized so much that she had changed the way she carried herself, but she wasn't going to say that to a random stanger (much less a hot random stranger).

"it didn't work out." yunjin said.

"oh." you scratched your cheek, yunjin nodding shallowly. "well, it's too soon to tell, y'know? you could be like, the next bts or something."

"how can i be the next bts when i'm one person?" yunjin squinted. kpop was so much more than just bts. "plus, bts isn't the only kpop group out there."

"i know that." you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the girl. "you just seem like someone who likes bts."

yunjin could feel herself blushing.

"...yeah."

"see, i already know you." yunjin looked away, afraid that she'd implode if she looked at your smile. "i just need to know your name."

"my name?" yunjin's mind went blank, nearly spitting out a random name. "jennifer."

"jennifer." you smiled harder. "nice to meet you, jennifer. i'm y/n."

and for a moment, right when yunjin's name rolled off of your tongue, yunjin felt seen.

yunjin considered herself a lot of things. as of late, most of them had turned overwhelmingly negative, but regardless, she at least knew that she was in tune with her emotions. she, unlike her sister, was able to identify them, and 'fix' them to the best of her abilities.

however, being around you the past couple of weeks you have told her differently.

yunjin knew she liked you. she liked the way you smiled at her, your gums showing through your crooked smile. she liked the way your hands felt, the way your hand would accidentally bump into hers, making yunjin long for more.

you were everything yunjin had ever dreamt of in a person, but she was sure she was just going to mess it up again.

yunjin sighed, forcing herself to stop thinking about you, a common occurrence that had been recently happening lately.

"unnie." rachel tapped her should, causing the older girl to jump.

she turned to the younger girl and her friends, her locker mirror shaking as she slammed it closed. "what?"

rachel's friend, nadine (if yunjin remembered correctly), said, "you're close with y/n right?"

yunjin clenched her jaw, a burst of anxiety running up her spine. had you gotten hurt? was something wrong? yunjin couldn't help but overthink.

"why?" she hummed.

"you guys aren't dating?" rachel asked, yunjin's eyes widening as big as saucers.

"no," yunjin scoffed, a blush covering her face. if only she could. "what?"

rachel looked at the girl beside her as yunjin avoided the younger students' gazes. her older sister was anything but subtle.

"okay." rachel said slowly, watching as yunjin perked up, waiting to hear any information about you. "derek's planning to ask her out, so i just wanted to make sure you don't go all... you on him."

"okay, i don't go all 'me' on anyone." yunjin crossed her arms. perhaps there had been one incident a year ago that almost got her suspended, but that was only because someone had hit on rachel. yunjin took no fault. "wait... derek mcavoy?"

"yeah?"

yunjin felt her stomach sink.

she considered herself many things, passionate being one of them. sometimes, yunjin passion could get in the way of her rational thinking.

"hey, do you guys know who sent me these flowers?" yunjin could hear your voice behind her, getting closer to her. "i think they're trying to kill me."

yunjin clenched her fist.

"aren't you allergic to those?" rachel blinked at you, staring at daisies that were in your hand.

how you weren't dead? she had no clue.

"severely." you sighed, looking at the bouquet in front of you. "i had to take my inhaler."

rachel shook her head, looking at her sister who was staring into the distance, face stoic and eyes glazed over. the younger girl sighed. it was happening.

"jen," you called out to her, bringing her out of her head. yunjin turned to you. "do you think one of your fans reached me?"

yunjin's eyes met yours, hardened and swirling with an emotion that you could only identify as anger and regret. looking over to rachel, she shrugged as yunjin continued to stare into your soul.

yunjin didn't want to live in regret anymore, not when her daily life was already filled with it.

"go out with me."

yunjin had never heard silence in a crowded hallway until that very moment.

"what?"

("unnie?")

"go out with me, y/n." yunjin stated, pushing down the embarrassment threatening to take over her entire body.

("should we be here?")

"uh..." you took a breath, your gummy smile making yunjin overflow with happiness. "okay."

yunjin had never felt happiness like that in her life.

"okay."

yunjin would be lying if she said she was satisfied with how her life was right now.

she had everything that anyone could want at her age. her grades, although not to ivy league standard, could get her in a good college if she kept her current pace. she had no family problems, and yunjin had always gotten along with rachel.

most of all, she was in a great relationship, celebrating her first valentine's with the girl she had slowly fallen in love with over the past four months.

but it wasn't enough, because this life will never be enough for yunjin.

"oh my god," yunjin smiled, turning her phone off as you entered her room. "is that huh yunjin from produce 48 where iz*one was created?"

although not as strong, yunjin felt a dull ache in her chest.

"you're so annoying." yunjin rolled her eyes, sitting up to greet you with a kiss.

"hey, i got into kpop for you so we could bond as a couple." you teased, humming against her lips. the taller girl smiled. "how am i annoying?"

"i didn't say i hated it." she whispered, moving over to give you a seat. "i missed you."

truthfully, yunjin did miss you, especially the way you made her forget her failures, even if it was just for a moment.

"i saw you yesterday." you teased. you grabbed her hand, smiling at her. "but i missed you too."

you leaned in once more, capturing the girl's mouth against yours. you always felt an overwhelming sense of love whenever you kissed the taller girl, but yunjin always felt a sense of fear. the fear of becoming content with a life like this, a life without doing what she loved.

you pulled away. "me or bts?"

yunjin groaned, guilt simmering in her stomach. "you're the worst."

"i know." you giggled, kissing her cheek.

yunjin sighed, leaning back as she slammed her back onto her bed.

you followed her suit, the short haired girl wrapping her arm around you as you snuggled close into her body.

"tired?" you asked, stroking her hair out of her face.

"this week has been kicking my ass." yunjin knew she had done it to herself, tuning into the japanese tabloids that week to keep tabs on iz*one's debut. "but it is our very first valentines together. plus, i think you're my gift from cupid."

you scoffed playfully, trying to pull away from the ex-trainee. "am i just an object to you, jennifer?"

"hey, no!" yunjin whined, shoving her face into your neck. you giggled, feeling the strands of her hair against your neck. "and don't use my full government name."

"sorry, sorry." you smiled, watching as her eyes looked into yours. "what do you want me to call you instead?"

yunjin thought for a moment, her eyes darting to your mouth. "mine."

your smile dropped, and you pulled away from her, the korean whining at the loss of contact.

"ugh." you sat up, shaking your head. "jesus, jen... that was disgusting."

she gasped, sitting up beside you. "you dated me knowing that i'm like this."

"no." yunjin frowned, and you couldn't help but smile at her adorable face. "i dated you because you're hot."

"wow." yunjin's mouth hung open, trying hard not to smile as you attacked her cheek with kisses as an apology. "so you only love me for my face."

you pulled back, raising your eyebrow. "who said i loved you?"

yunjin stared at you, hearing her heart break slowly.

she knew it wasn't your fault, but yunjin couldn't help but find herself feeling the same way she had at the beginning of the school year.

"i'm sorry, i--"

"i do, though. love you, i mean." you cleared your throat, awkwardly scratching your cheek as you looked at the ground. "i'm just trying to figure out how you know when i literally never told anyone until now."

yunjin smiled at you, taking your features in as if to memorize you.

"i love you too."

yunjin watched as your eyes swarmed with adoration, and nothing had ever scared her so much than the feeling of fulfillment that spread through her chest.

"you do?" you whispered, looking into her eyes, finding nothing but sincerity in them.

but something was off, you could feel it in the air. the way the weight of the room had gotten heavier, almost as if the burden of your girlfriend filled the entire thing.

yunjin looked away, and that was enough to know that deep down, she never wanted to fall in love with you, not like this.

"yeah." yunjin muttered, smiling through her smile. "i do."

you smiled through your pain, wanting nothing more than to feel love instead of regret.

"the famous huh yunjin is in love with me?" you joked, watching as her face morphed into a more playful tone.

"shut up."

"okay." you nodded, wondering how long you had left with her. "only because i love you."

"i love you too."

yunjin had meant every word she said, even if it came with layers of regret.

yunjin had heard from koeun a month ago that source music had opened back up, this time under new management, a much more competent one.

when the former trainee heard the news, she refused to get her hopes up. she had come to terms with how her life was now. yunjin still felt the what-ifs from time to time, but she couldn't do anything about it, even if she so badly wanted to.

she hid it well from her family, the longing for the spotlight, to perform. they didn't ask her questions about why she would skip dinner, sitting in front of her computer as she waited for a stupid email to pop up.

(you knew, however. and it pained you to know that your girlfriend would never truly be happy with you.)

you pushed it down, waiting for the right time to bring it up to her. you just wished it didn't have to happen today.

"hey, jen. sorry i kept you waiting. your mom tried to force-feed me once i stepped through the door. she thinks you aren't feeding me enough." you laughed as you set your sweater to the side of her room, making your way over to kiss her forehead. "happy six months, baby."

yunjin wiped her face, looking at the monitor of her laptop. "happy six months."

yunjin didn't look at you, afraid that she'd lose everything as soon as her eyes locked onto your eyes.

"what's up?" you wiped her tears. she hung her head low, the light of the monitor illuminating her tear streaks. "you don't look as happy as i do."

yunjin was silent, waiting for you to look at the screen in front of her.

you turned your head, skimming over the english text found in the email. it was bound to happen, and you had tried your hardest to prepare yourself for it. you hoped it was enough to keep the facade up long enough.

"oh, jen." you rubbed yunjin's back, watching as her tears fell harder. "are you going back?"

yunjin shook her head, not wanting to think about it. "i don't know."

"do you want to?"

you already knew your answer a long time ago.

"i don't know." yunjin didn't mean to lie, but she loved you. "i don't want to leave you."

"it's fine." you whispered in her ear, swallowing your tears back. "i'll be fine."

yunjin wrapped her arms around you, her head buried in your neck as sobs wracked her body. she couldn't do it again. she couldn't lose everything she's worked for again.

yunjin couldn't lose you for nothing.

"what if it doesn't go well, and i just ended us for nothing?" yunjin asked in between sobs, gripping the back of your shirt.

"so you want to go?"

yunjin's face fell, pulling back from you as you smiled at her with teary eyes.

yunjin loved your smile.

"baby..."

"it's okay, i promise." you nodded, trying to push through the pain. "you'll be fine. i believe in you."

yunjin shook her head. she didn't deserve it. she didn't deserve your support, not if she's leaving you like this.

"i finally accepted it." yunjin blubbered, too emotional to realize what she said. "i can't go through this again."

you bit your upper lip, looking away briefly. hearing yunjin say it was different from knowing that you were just the second choice.

"i know." yunjin's face was wet with tears, a never-ending flow of remorse. "but you won't, because you'll debut this time."

yunjin shook her head. "how do you know that?"

"because you're jennifer huh. you're the girl who came back here, fighting to be okay again even though deep down you knew that it wasn't what you wanted." you kissed her nose, watching as her nose crinkled at the contact. you smiled. "you're the girl i'm in love with."

yunjin felt a weight lift off of her shoulders.

"i'm in love with you too." yunjin sniffed. "i don't want to leave you."

you looked into yunjin's eyes, and you saw nothing but passion, passion for you.

if there was one thing that you loved yunjin, it was her overwhelming sense of passion. but at times like these, you hated it.

you watched her for a moment.

"then i'll leave you."

"what?" yunjin's eyes widened, moving her hands onto your arm. "no."

"you want us to make it work?" you asked her, almost challenging her at the ridiculous thought.

you two were high school kids, two girls who fell in love because of a missed opportunity, an opportunity that yunjin was willing to jeopardize for you.

yunjin could feel her fears coming true.

"i..."

"baby, what are they gonna think once they find out about us if we even manage to make it through until your debut?" you told her, furrowing your eyebrows.

"i don't know."

yunjin looked at you through the thick silence, almost as if she was trying to memorize you one more time.

"it's a good thing we're both private people, huh?" you chuckled, the knot in your throat becoming bigger. "imagine all the people you'd have to pay off. i mean, you guys are rich but st--"

"can you not?" yunjin whispered. "please?"

"sorry." you cleared your throat, looking away as tears were starting to form in your eyes (not yet. please.). "do you want me to go?"

"no." yunjin said with sincerity. "i just want to spend one more day with you."

yunjin stared at you desperately pleading for you to agree. she just needed to hold you one more time, to listen to your voice. she just needed one more day to memorize you before she lost you.

"okay."

one day was enough for you, even if you'd love her for the rest of your life.

"okay."

you untangled yourself from her at three in the morning the next day, eyes bloodshot and arms tired from holding her as if she was going to disappear.

you wiped your eyes, and placed your forgotten sweater on her desk, tucking a piece of paper in the pocket.

you were going to break soon, and you didn't want yunjin to see the broken pieces she'd leave in new york.

looking at the girl once more, you gave her one more kiss on the forehead, hoping that she'd remember you with only happiness and love.

you left yunjin's room, clenching your mouth as you tried your best not to sob.

"y/n?"

"night, rach." you tried to walk away, the younger girl following you to the door.

rachel looked at you with a frown, watching as you struggled to put your shoes on. "are you okay?"

you looked up at her, your eyes red as you smiled. you haven't heard someone ask that in a while.

"no." you grinned, the tears streaming down your face betraying you.

"thank you for doing this for unnie." rachel said, watching as you stiffened up. she wished she could do something more, but this wasn't her expertise. "it's probably killing you."

"i'll be fine." you whispered, standing up to face the girl.

"come study with me later?" she asked, a small smile on her face.

you hated how much rachel looked like her sister.

"okay." you patted her shoulder, rachel opening the door as you fished for your keys. "thanks rachel. you would've made a good sister-in-law."

rachel winced. not at the comment, but at the way your face morphed into an emotion she had yet to feel.

"you too."

"yunjin-ah!"

yunjin groaned as chaewon yelled at her from across the dorm. no matter how hard she tried to rest, there was someone who always needed something from her.

"you know that hoodie i was gonna borrow?" yunjin grunted, earning a smack on the head from chaewon. the taller girl looked up, staring face to face with an old piece of paper. "this fell out of it."

"huh?" yunjin didn't remember leaving anything in her pockets.

chaewon hopped on the couch, sitting beside her roommate.

"it's a letter." yunjin knew your writing anywhere.

"oh?"

dear jen,

i'm rooting for you, jen. just like i always have and just like i always will be.

i love you, jen l/n y/n.

"who's y/n?"

"someone." yunjin whispered, memories suddenly flooding her brain. "you can't wear that hoodie though, that one's special."

chaewon whined. "why?"

"you can't." yunjin stated, chaewon watching closely as she hummed, the taller girl having a small smile on her face. "now, let's go get food."

"you're so weird."

i love you too, y/n.

silan says " pls pray for me... i cannot fail my final ;-; "

#huh yunjin x reader #le sserafim x reader #lesserafim x reader #kpop x reader #idol x reader #wlw #silantryo

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aloneinthehellfire · 4 months

Text

The Introduction

A (possible) brand new series featuring Robin Buckley x Reader set in ST4

Summary: When Vecna comes to town, Robin and her friends need all the help they can get in the final battle. The gang searches for an old friend she's never met before. But what Robin didn't know, was that the help would catch her attention in more ways than one.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: canon deaths (mentions of vecna killings), reader appears at the end it is mostly a set up for the series, nothing really to report here tbh

[A/N: well hello there. I have *finally* storyboarded a new series that would be an episode by episode ST4 fic where Reader and Robin are endgame. It's something new and something I've been dying to create for a while now so I wanted to test the waters and see if anyone would be interested in reading this? I will literally take one person's yes and go with it, I am very persuadable]

The Introduction

Since when was it too much to ask for a normal spring break?

Robin had enough of the excitement in Hawkins last summer when she ended up in a secret Russian lab, tortured and shot full of some serum she was sure was unsanctioned.

The horrors of that day were flushed down that bathroom toilet along with those drugs, some kind of wave of reality hitting her hard when she realised she didn’t want to be alone anymore. She confided in her new friend, her closest friend, and hoped that it would end a horrible day with a weight off her shoulders.

And then she was crashing a car into a possessed guy and hurling fireworks at some freaky flesh monster. So, nothing good lasts forever.

But after that, it all had been pretty quiet. Robin worked Family Video every other evening and weekends, had Steve drive her to school for the first couple of weeks before it became a habit, secured her place in band and forgot that anything ever really happened. She didn’t want to remember. She wanted to graduate, to have that silly little crush on her bandmate, to save enough money to get out of Hawkins for good.

Then the first day of spring break hit. The first day. And she was stood there staring up at that TV, feeling nauseas in her uniform, knowing that the brutal death of a high school student wouldn’t be as simple as murder.

“So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news.” Dustin says awkwardly and Robin’s lips tighten, looking at where Eddie sat munching through Honeycomb cereal like it was his first meal in days. “How do you prefer it?”

“Bad news first, always.” Eddie responds with his mouth full.

Robin shifts on her feet. It would be dishonest to say that Dustin and Max dragged her into this. All they had done really was show up demanding their computers and a name. She didn’t have to help, or find the address, or go with them anywhere.

The urge to be a part of something always had been a habit of hers. The only reason she joined the marching band was because she figured she’d be safe there. The Russian radio communication was only of interest because she craved involvement. And now she had Steve, her best friend. Where he went, she followed. Which is why she was stood here now, contemplating her decisions.

She was scared, afraid that last year would have only been the baby of all problems she would have to face in Hawkins. And it was understandable, she wasn’t built for pressure situations. If anyone could take a look inside her brain, they’d be questioning why she was even here in the first place.

She has this theory where her mind and her body act completely differently. She’ll rethink everything until she’s overthinking it, but her body will never not react immediately. Whether its her mouth rambling or her legs running, her mind and body haven’t been in sync for a while now.

“Alright, bad news.” Dustin shifts in his seat and Robin exchanges a wary look with Steve. “We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you.”

Eddie’s face falls and Robin hates seeing the way the light in his eyes dim even darker.

“Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.”

“Like, 100% kind of convinced.” Max chimes in.

“And the good news?” Eddie looks for Dustin’s answer but Robin spoke first.

“Your name hasn’t gone public yet.” She says, resting her arm against a shelf. She really felt for him. He didn’t deserve this. “But if we found out about you, it’s a matter of time before others do, too. And once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.”

“Hunt the freak, right?” Eddie spits and Robin feels that little stab in her chest. Hunt the freak.

“Exactly.” She says and Eddie curses under his breath.

“So, before that happens, we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence.” Dustin tries to bring a positive note, Eddie’s face remaining unswayed.

“That’s all, Dustin? That’s all?”

“Yeah, no, that’s pretty much it.” He concludes, the older boy looking very unconvinced. Robin can’t help but think that Dustin almost was as bad as she was in these situations.

“Listen, Eddie, I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this kind of thing before. I mean, they have... a -a few times, and- and I have… once.” Robin adds, hoping that somewhere in her ramble there was a coherent message that he shouldn’t be afraid. “Mine was more human-flesh-based, and theirs was more smoke-related, but bottom line is, collectively, I really feel like we got this.”

“Yeah, see, we usually rely on this girl who has super powers.” Steve follows her direction and Robin nods, “But, uh, those went bye-bye, so…”

Everyone’s faces start to scrunch in realisation.

Robin searches for words. “So, we’re technically in- in more of the…”

“Kinda…”

“Brainstorming phase.” Max decides and they all hum in agreement.

“Brainstorming.” Steve snaps his fingers.

“There… there’s nothing to worry about.” Dustin splutters and Steve nods along with him.

If Eddie had been following on at all before, he was completely lost now, looking at them like they were maniacs. They tried their best, Robin thought just as a high-pitched noise started approaching in the distance. Sirens.

“Tarp.” Robin immediately says, pointing to Eddie. “Tarp. Tarp.”

Everyone starts scrambling to their feet and rushing to the windows, Robin’s heart rate unusually high. She hadn’t even experienced what she would assume to be the worst of it yet and she was already hating every second.

Her eyes follow the police cars and the ambulances drive directly past the boathouse, further down the road. Towards the trailer park.

“Trailer park.” Steve mutters, on the same page as her.

“They might have found something new.” Max suggests, looking at her friends in worry.

“Or someone new.” Robin grimaces and they all frown. “The ambulance.”

“Shit, okay, we need to-” Steve turns around, “Hey, Eddie.”

The tarp comes flying off once again, his hair looking a little dishevelled as he still tightly hugged the cereal box.

“You gonna be alright here?” He asks, and the boy simply shrugs.

“We’ll be back when we find out more.” Dustin promises, nodding. “With food.”

Either he didn’t mind or was too freaked out to argue, but Eddie remained impartial on their decision. It was a matter of time before they’re all clambering into Steve’s car, following the same route the police had taken earlier.

“What if the place is completely cornered off and we can’t see anything?” Robin voices her worry, Dustin’s eyes flickering to hers in the rear view mirror.

“It’s too early for that. Plus Max lives there, we can just say we’re dropping her off.”

The girl in question nods her head, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth.

“Doesn’t look like we need to worry about that.” Steve says and everyone’s heads turn to look ahead, focusing on a familiar girl stood among the cops, looking like she wanted to be anywhere else.

Once the car stops, their doors are opened and they all stand, patiently waiting. Even from a distance, Robin could see Nancy’s face light up with gratitude that she wasn’t alone.

Just as Nancy makes an excuse to walk over, Robin’s eyes are already scanning the place, actively ignoring the sheet covering something on the ground. There was this pit in her stomach, an unsettling mix of regret and panic. Whatever they were dealing with this time, she knew it was going to take more than an array of fireworks.

They were alone now, any help shipped away to California, and she was still barely caught up with their previous battles.

Robin really didn’t remember life before sitting around a picnic bench discussing freaky incidents that always seemed to link back to the Upside Down. Maybe that day in the lab had ruined her brain chemistry in a way that reduced her life before as meaningless. Or maybe her life before just wasn’t any better. Either way, a police report of a dead student wasn’t normally followed by a theory of some weird mind wizard from an alternate dimension. Then again, anything was possible in Hawkins.

“So you’re saying that this thing that killed Fred and Chrissy, it’s from the Upside Down?” Nancy asks, but it wasn’t the same scepticism Eddie had.

“If the shoe fits.” Steve raises his brow with a sigh.

“Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell, or... a curse.” Dustin says, “Now, whether or not he’s doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just loves killing teens, we don’t know.”

“All we know is this is something different.” Max frowns. “Something new.”

“Doesn’t make sense.” Nancy mutters beside her, looking down.

“It’s only a theory.” Dustin defends but Nancy shakes her head.

“No, Fred and Chrissy don’t make sense. I mean… why them?”

Dustin shrugs. “Maybe they were just in the wrong place? They were both at the game.”

“And near the trailer park.” Max cuts in.

“We’re at the trailer park.” Steve comments, looking around. “Uh… should we maybe not be here?”

A shiver rolls down Robin’s neck as she peers around, the wind picking up at the worst moment. It was eerie here, even without the knowledge of two murdered kids.

“There is something about this place.” Nancy shares, “Fred started acting weird the second we got here.”

Robin’s heart jumps. “Acting weird as in…?”

“Scared, on edge, upset.” Nancy explains, her brows permanently scrunched together.

“Max said Chrissy was upset too.” Dustin looks at her.

“Yeah, but not here.” She frowns. “She was crying in the bathroom at school.”

Robin’s mind began flittering around with theories, nonsensical ones for the most part until she pulled out something that felt comprehensible to their case.

“Serial killers stalk their prey before they strike, right?” Robin begins, forcing herself to reduce the speed of her words to ensure they were properly heard. “So, maybe Fred and Chrissy saw this Vecman.”

“Vecna.” Dustin corrects and she represses the urge to roll her eyes.

“I dunno about you guys, but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone.” Steve expresses.

“Maybe they did.” Max theorises, “I saw Chrissy leaving Ms Kelley’s office. If you saw a monster, you… you wouldn’t go to the police. They’d never believe you. But you might go to your-”

“Your shrink.” Robin finishes and the younger girl nods. “They keep files, right? Maybe something in Chrissy’s file will point us in the right direction of who, uh… Vecna is.”

“It’s worth a shot.” Max says and Dustin nods.

“But how are we meant to get it?” Steve frowns, “It’s the counsellor's office, wouldn’t they be locking that thing up tight? The whole school, even.”

“I can get the key.” Max says with confidence, “Ms Kelley said I could come to her house out of hours if I need it, maybe I can find where she keeps her keys and sneak out before she realises.”

Rather than question her alibi, it seemed like everyone was in agreement. They were off that bench in a second flat and following Steve to his car. Robin was trying to push away that fear of the unknown, the anxiety that they would find an answer they wouldn’t like.

She always loved puzzles, brain teasers, classic crosswords. Solving that Russian broadcast was a riddle she enjoyed, assuming it would be nothing but a small summer project to cure her boredom of the ice cream slinging world. But beyond games and word scrambles, she felt completely useless.

“Woah, woah, Nance.”

Robin snaps out of her haze to turn back around, her hand still steady on the passenger door.

“Nance!” Steve calls out and Nancy guiltily turns around from where she was straying from the group. “Nance, where you going?”

“Oh, there’s just something I wanna check on first.” She dismisses, her footsteps still leading her back to her own car. She looked like a woman on a mission.

“Something you maybe wanna share with the rest of us?” Dustin says and Nancy scrunches her face.

“I don’t wanna waste your time, it’s a real shot in the dark.”

“Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind?” Steve expresses and Robin’s eyebrow raises. “Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the loose? No, it’s too dangerous. You need… you need someone to…”

There’s a pause and Robin’s mind is already drifting when keys are suddenly being hurled at her, only catching them in the last second.

“Here. I’ll stick with Nance, alright? You guys take the car, check out the shrink.” Steve says and she blinks at the metal in her palm.

“I don’t think you want me driving your car.” She points at it.

“Why?”

“I don’t have a license.”

“Why don’t you have a license?”

“I’m poor.”

“I can drive.” Max suggests and Steve is quick to protest.

“No, no, never again. Please. Anybody but you, no.” His eyes drift to Dustin’s smile. “No chance.”

“Look, if it helps, I’m not gonna be alone for very long, okay?” Nancy interjects with a smile. “I… I need to call in a favour.”

“Call in a favour?” Steve frowns, “Who?”

Nancy purses her lips and looks down, shrugging. Robin notices Steve’s stance shifting into one she had labelled ‘the annoyed babysitter’; hands on hips, a slight furrow in the brows and a pouty lip. She had to refrain from pointing it out as she had done many times before, usually resulting in a random object thrown at her head.

“Y/n.” Nancy eventually says and Steve groans.

“No, come on. Literally anyone else.” He protests, shoulders dropping in defeat.

“What’s wrong with Y/n?” Dustin frowns, shaking his head.

“She’s just…” Steve sighs, not bothering to finish the sentence. Robin mouths your name, no familiar face ringing a bell.

“Whatever she is, she’s saved our asses on multiple occasions.” Max spoke up, Dustin nodding in agreement.

“It’s…” Steve starts, shaking his head. “She’s not even in town, is she?”

“She’s visiting her grandparents.” Nancy shrugs. “Look, we don’t have time to argue about it, I’m heading to the library.”

“And what if you don’t make it there, huh?” Steve objects, “What if Y/n is busy? Do we really want to drag another person into this?”

“We need all the help we can get.” Nancy says.

“Do we really want to drag Y/n into this?” He rephrases and Robin watches Nancy’s eyes dart away. Whoever you were, you were a sore subject it seemed. But they didn’t have time to be arguing about this.

“All right, okay. This is stupid.” Robin finally breaks, snagging the exposed radio from Dustin’s backpack and thrusting Steve’s keys back at him. “Us ladies will stick together. Unless you think we need you to protect us.”

Steve pulls a face at her and she laughs, already walking away.

“Be careful!” He shouts after her and she throws up a peace sign.

In all honesty, she was relieved to be heading to a library instead of sitting around in a silent car with her own thoughts. Anything but that.

“So, um… who’s Y/n?” Robin queries as Nancy starts up the car.

“An old friend.” She explains briefly, waiting until the others had driven off before following them out.

“She wasn’t at Starcourt, right?” Robin frowns, repeating your name in her head over and over.

“Uh, no. I don’t think you would’ve met her. She was with me and Jonathan, at the hospital, and…” Her voice trailed off, lips tightening.

“And?” Robin prompts but Nancy simply shakes her head with a smile.

“It doesn’t matter.”

As she looked over, she could just read a hint of guilt on her expression, a hard stare on the road ahead as she turns towards the public library. Robin wasn’t always the greatest at reading social cues, only when she was rambling and paying more attention on getting her thoughts out than how people were receiving them. There was something different about the way they were talking about you, however, like there was something unspoken.

The first thing Nancy did was find a phone.

Robin could just make out Nancy’s expressions in the payphone as she stood waiting by the car, her brows scrunched and mouth constantly moving. When she finally hung up, she wrapped her arms around herself and headed back to the Robin, nodding.

“She’s meeting us in a few minutes.” She explained, and Robin figured she didn’t want to talk about it any further. So, as she made a turn to the library, Robin decided on a different bugging query.

“Okay so, help me get this straight.” She starts as they climb the steps, the bell tolling above the building. She was recalling Nancy’s brief summary on the drive over. “Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, thinks that Victor Creel escaped from Pennhurst Asylum and that he’s the one running around Hawkins committing all these murders?”

“Pretty much.” Nancy responds with a tight-lipped smile. Robin wasn’t finished.

“But Victor committed the eyeball murders, like, way back in the ‘50s.” Robin frowns and Nancy pulls open the door.

“Well, ‘59.” She says.

“So, that means these murders predate Eleven in the Upside Down by about 30 years?” She continued as they walk up to the librarian’s desk.

“Yeah.” Nancy responds bluntly.

“Which makes spooky Victor Creel like 70 years old.”

“Yep.” She reaches out and dings the bell.

“So…” Robin keeps talking, occupying her brain with this theory so she didn’t have to worry about anything else. “He’s a grandpa murderer who can turn invisible and lift people into the air.”

Nancy takes a breath. “It doesn’t make sense. I know. That’s why I said it was a shot in the dark.”

She rings the bell again and, once again, Robin doesn’t catch the hint Nancy’s throwing her way.

“I know. I just thought that by ‘shot in the dark’ you were being modest or hiding something super solid up your sleeve that you were gonna wow us with later.”

Nancy rings the bell twice this time but Robin barely registers it.

“But this is really, truly a shot in the dark. Like, we are snipers with blindfolds on who’ve been spun around 50 times.”

She starts ringing the bell rapidly and Robin looks down at it with a frown, finally realising she’s yet again talked too much.

“Coming!” The librarian calls out, carrying a stack of books.

“Hi, sorry, we’re in a bit of a rush.” Nancy smiles apologetically at her, “Could we get the keys to the basement archives?”

“Of course. Give me one sec.” The woman nods, turning away.

Robin stares down at her hands before the anxiety takes over.

“Did I come off mean or condescending or something?” She blurts and Nancy hesitates.

“No.”

“Right.” Robin sighs, still staring at her, “Sorry. It’s just, you seem annoyed. You don’t know me very well. I don’t really have a filter or a strong grasp of social cues.”

“Okay.” Nancy whispers.

“So if I say something that upsets you, just know that I know it’s a flaw. Believe me, my mother reminds me daily.”

Nancy nods quickly, pretending to be interested. “Got it.”

“Alright, ladies.” The librarian returns with a smile, holding out a set of keys. “Here you go. Have fun.”

“Yep.” Nancy accepts them, forcing a smile. “We’ll… try.”

She starts walking away while Robin remains there frozen, earning a grin from the woman opposite. Robin simply shrugs and begrudgingly follows Nancy.

The archive room was… dusty. A little too dusty to Robin’s liking. Everything was old and smelt weird. Nancy starting looking over some books, inspecting the covers before spotting the Microfilm Readers.

“We should probably get a start while we wait for Y/n.” Nancy says, sitting at the machine and Robin hesitantly leans against it, pursing her lips. Nancy notices and looks up at her, already anticipating another ramble. “Yes?”

“So… Y/n?” Robin holds out her hands, “I don’t want to keep being nosy but, uh… how does she fit into all of this?”

Nancy reluctantly turns towards her with a smile. “She’s been a part of our, uh, group for a while now. Since Will was possessed.”

Robin blinks. “Right.”

“She was the one who figured out heat was their weakness – the things that live in the Upside Down. I’ve known her since we were kids and she’s always been amazing at…” Nancy searches for a term, “Detective stuff.”

“Detective stuff, right.” Robin nods and Nancy slowly turns back to what she was doing. “So, like…”

Nancy sighs and Robin shuts her mouth.

“Sorry, I’ll shut up.” She raises her hands in surrender and Nancy scrunches her face.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s just… I haven’t seen her in a while so I… I’m not trying to be rude, there’s just a lot going on.” She explains apologetically, surrendering her attempt at scrolling through the machine. “I can’t believe I’m dragging her into this.”

“Why are you?” Robin asks genuinely and Nancy tilts her head in contemplation.

“She did a project a few years back on the Creels.” Nancy begins, resting her chin on her hand. “She was researching into small town murders. Y/n was obsessed with the unexplained ones. She likes uncovering truths, solving the mystery. I don’t remember how far she got with this but she’ll have more than enough information to get us started.”

“Right, right.” Robin slowly nods, thinking it all over. You weren’t the new addition she assumed you would be. In fact, she was the only one here who was really new to everything.“Should I be here?”

“Sorry?” Nancy frowns.

“I mean, it sounds like you two are pretty close. And I- I don’t want to ruin the reunion or whatever, I don’t even know how to- I suck at meeting new people, basically.” Robin stresses, holding up her hand when Nancy tries to protest, “I already know. Everyone I meet pretty much hates me from the get go. I’m already ruining it with you and we’ve literally met before. Briefly. But still, I- I don’t know this Y/n and I don’t want to annoy her out of helping you-”

“Robin.” Nancy laughs, “It’s fine. Y/n isn’t like that. To be honest… you’ll probably get along.”

“What does that-”

Her words are cut off by the sound of the door opening and slamming shut, the wooden steps creaking beneath the weight of descending footsteps. They both whip their heads to the noise to see someone stood there with a folder in their hands.

“Got here as fast as I could.” You say, letting out a breath and smiling Nancy. You quickly notice the girl standing beside her with a startled look on her face. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, you- we were, just- I’m Robin.” She stuttered, her face flushing with embarrassment before she turns away from you. Calm down, she begs herself.

Nancy looks at her in confusion, “Are you-”

“I’m good.” She insists and Nancy shakes her head, getting up from her seat.

“Hi, Y/n.” She smiles, walking over to you. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” You say, but your heart didn’t really feel in it. “I brought the project you wanted. It’s got the newspaper reports from the original killings. If that’s of any help.”

“It is, thank you so much.” Nancy takes it from your hands and starts flipping through, carefully reading each of your headings and findings.

You shift on your feet before glancing at Robin, her eyes widening slightly when you look at her.

“I’m Y/n.” You offer and she nods quickly.

“Yeah, I, uh, I know.” She laughs awkwardly, “Nice to put a face to the name.”

An incredibly gorgeous face, Robin screams inside. Of all the problems she was facing today, this shouldn’t be one of them. Monsters, Russians, that was pretty much up her alley right now. Sudden introductions of pretty girls that literally took her breath away? Not on her bingo card.

Robin noticed the tension in the air between you and Nancy, that same unspoken theory recycling in her mind. What happened last year? Why weren’t you there at Starcourt? Why were you back?

She didn’t really know if she would regret knowing the answers. All she knew was that you had been here all of two minutes and Robin already felt like you were going to change her life.

Because, you were. In more ways than one.

Update: The Pariahs That Saved The World

[if you want there to be more chapters, pls comment below or leave it in my asks to be added to a taglist, i don't want to post something no one wants to read <3]

#stranger things x reader #stranger things #fanfic #robin buckley #robin x reader #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley x y/n #stranger things reader insert #st4 fanfic #st4 #sapphic #wlw

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