Tumgik
#idek what im doing anymore tbh
oruok · 3 months
Text
me just clogging up that tag with thirsty pics only damn i'm sorry lol
5 notes · View notes
skylesbian · 2 years
Text
when i first listened to out of my system i was like “yeah i like it, but i liked bigger than me more, idk :/“ and now im SO OBSESSED WITH IT, its literally my favourite song by far, i cant stop listening to it. not only the sound is SO GOOD but also like the lyrics hit so close to home. “take anything you can carry and leave everything else behind” “i am only half of what i think i could be” “im taking all of my demons, putting them where i wont see them, ‘cause i just wanna feel alive” ??????? HOW!!! btm also feels personal but this is just so......yeah.....yeah this!!! idk these songs are just so in line with the process i’ve been doing in the last couple of years and. like his album’s name IS faith in the future im :’) IM SO EXCITED FOR THE REST OF THE SONGS.
6 notes · View notes
barredandromeda · 2 months
Text
imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
1 note · View note
Text
Dating King Ben Would Include…
Holy shit,
This is a lot.
Def NSFW
Warnings: sex, language, not proofed, I’m a slut
Tumblr media
- r u actually kidding this man
- Idek where to start
- How about this
VK
- the moment he lays eyes on you
- Fuck
- When he smiles at you for the first time???
- Bye.
- Falling for the king-to-be was NOT part of the plan
- But he’s so goddamn cute
- You slip into the stands at his tourney game
- He makes a great play and you let out a cheer
- Surprising everyone around
- And he just grins at you
- There’s a party that night
- You show up in your most flattering dress
- And Ben cannot take his eyes off of you
- (The beast inside is awakening)
- He asks you to dance
- his big hands fit on your waist so perfectly
- Your hands loop around his neck and your fingers play with his hair absentmindedly
- You’re so nervous
- He pulls you closer to him and whispers into your ear
- “Relax.”
- Hello???
- He’s so in love with you UGHHHHAGGGA
- not following plot anymore screw it
- “You coming to the game tomorrow?”
- “Why should I?”
- “I can think of a pretty good reason.”
- SHAMELESSLY FLIRTS WITH YOU
- “If we win, I get to take you out on a date”
- “And if you lose?”
- “We won’t.”
- Ben fucking winks at you and just
- Up and leaves
- Someone take the confidence juice away from him!
- You go see another one of his games and after he wins, he runs up to you, sweaty and grinning, gorgeous as ever
- Before you say anything
- His head dips down to your ear, hands slipping around your waist
- “My car is waiting for you. I’ll be there soon”
- The mf had no fucking doubts that they’d win
- He gives you another million dollar smile before jogging away
- Leaving you flushed and a little turned on?????
- The date is absolutely wonderful.
- He changes ur perspective on everything
- Makes you his queen eventually
AK
- He’s such a gentleman omg omg
- PRINCESS TREATMENT OMFG
- Opening doors for you!!!
- Pulls out your chair for you!!!
- Ur a cheerleader
- He’s def the kinda bf to score and point at you like
- “Scored that for you, baby!”
- You wanna roll your eyes but can’t bc of his damn smile
- Don’t even get Ben started on your fucking uniform
- He’s down bad fr fr
- You in the colors of his kingdom??? HELLO?!
- He’s gone
- Such a fan of public PDA
- will kiss you ANYWHERE
- seriously
- Always has to be touching you
- The beast in him tbh ur his
SEX
- everything this guy does is
- Always turning you on fr
- At the worst times too
- He’ll just look at you and give you the smile he only does while balls deep inside of you while at dinner with his parents
- And he knows it too
- The way you blush and look away?
- He KNOWS
- Please he gets weak in the knees when you say his name/title
- “Benjamin”
- “King Ben”
- “King Benjamin”
- “Your Majesty”
- Bye
- I imagine that he’s so sweet at first but you can tell that he’s holding back (beast boy HELLO?!)
- You have to convince him to finally just let it out
- What does that entail?
- Let’s make a list!!
- Scratch marks on your thighs
- So so many hickeys (he doesn’t fucking care who sees, he’s the king)
- Finger print bruises on your waist and hips
- BITE MARKS
- shit
- This man has a heightened sense of smell
- So like… beware
- Low key high key loves the way you smell
- Will not stop sucking and biting on your neck bc of it
- BEN IS A DOM IM SORRY NOT SORRY
- it’s such a stress relief for him!
- Seriously as king he needs to release his stress somehow
- You luv when he’s rough with you
- A full on Edward Cullen breaking the bed moment and he’s scared to even touch you
- And ur like “Ben do it again”
- He’s all 😮 “wut”
- “Please?”
- And bam thinking with his dick again
- You love it when he fucks you in his office
- In between meetings
- When anyone can walk in
- “Don’t want everyone in the castle to hear your dirty sounds, now do we?”
- BEN IM SORRY
- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP QUIET WHEN UR LITERALLY REARRANGING MY INSIDES ON YOUR DESK
- Riding him while he’s in his desk chair
- The staff is quite confused when he asks for a mirror to be hung as a decoration on the opposite side of his desk
- It’s so you two can watch obvi but they don’t know that
- OMG the two of you at formal events and he cannot keep his hands off of you
- The things he whispers in your ear my GOD
- looks like the two of you are just innocently dancing but if they really knew the dirty things he was saying to you
- “What would everyone think if they knew how turned on you are right now?”
- “You taste better than all the food here.”
- Like r u kidding me he’s the dirtiest guy
- MASSIVE DICK ENGERY
- Its unfair
- Him pulling you out of the ballroom to absolutely ravish you with his parents and subjects a wall away
- Him just fucking you while wearing his crown omg (cant stop thinking about this)
- He’s so needy all the fucking time
- Anyways back to office sex
- It’s his fav
- Literally you’ll be on his lap and he’s fucking up into you and he will get a phone call
- Motherfucker GRINS at you
- “don’t make a sound”
- And then ANSWERS IT.
- KEEPS FUCKING YOU THROUGH THE PHONE CALL
- NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS
- Oh and def makes you keep eye contact with him the whole time with his hand on your throat
- Ben with a beard????
- Between your thighs??
- With the fucking fangs?????????
- DEAD
- DECEASED
- BYE
- GONE
- Is always down to eat u out
- Such a golden retriever bf about it
- Def fingers you in the car
- If ur driving??
- “Eyes on the road”
- 💀
- If he’s gone?
- You best BELIEVE he’s calling for phone sex
- “C’mon let me hear you. You sound so pretty when you’re desperate for me.”
- Soft mean Dom soft mean Dom
- Will hop in the shower with you just so he can wash your body
- Also makes you come with the shower head
- Loves boobies
- Loves ass
- He can’t decide which he likes more
- Loves making you watch what he’s doing
- If he’s going down on you?
- Eyes on him at all times
- Fingering you?
- You better be watching it
- That’s why the mirror comes in handy
- When you lock eyes through the mirror?
- His crown is lopsided and he’s just
- He’s just
- You know
- FUCKING KING BENJAMIN
- And he’s always smiling at you
- He knows what that smile does to you
- Uses it to his advantage
- He knows he’s pretty
- He loves waking up before you after a long night of straight up fucking
- He sees the damage done
- By him
- And it just gets him going!
- You wake up with his head between your thighs
- “Morning”
- It was in fact a good morning
- his morning voice adds to it
- You loooooove to tease him
- Low key flirting with another guy, if it’s fucking Chad you better get prepared
- Wearing an outfit you know he loves in a public place when he’s with his parents doing his king duties
- Putting your hand on his inner thigh during a meeting
- I hope you know what you’re getting into!!!
- He storms into his room that night where you happen to be lying on the bed, oh so innocently
- Wearing his jersey or a button up of his
- You don’t bother looking at him, already trying to hide the smirk on your face
- You can feel the glare as he shrugs off his suit jacket
- And removes his tie
- And loosens his collar
- And pushes his sleeves up
- (your favorite Ben look)
- He knows this ofc
- Sets his hands flat on the bed and just stares at you
- Finally you look up, a giggle escaping immediately
- “You think it’s funny, do you?”
- His hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you towards him
- His knee settles between your legs as he leans over you
- “Answer your King when he speaks to you”
- “Yes, your majesty”
- His head drops back and something (THE FUCKING BEAST) ignites inside of him
- He laughs
- Not like his true laugh
- A dark, sinister laugh
- Coming from Ben?
- Noble, brave, and good Ben?
- When he’s about to fuck you into oblivion?
- Good. Fucking. Bye.
- What’s Bennyboo up for??
- So much
- He’s horny ALL THE TIME
- highest sex drive ever
- Esp with the fucking beast
- He can go for hours
- King (lol) of stamina
- “You can do it baby”
- “C’mon, one more for me”
- “Fuck you’re doing so well”
- “Good. So so good”
- He’s loud as FUCK
- not embarrassed about it all
- No fucks given
- Will walk out of his office he was just bending you over in to greet his father in the next room like MAN ISN’T PHASED AT ALL
- And you’re catching your breath like 😳😳😳
- On one hand, he’s so nice and genuine and so well mannered
- And then when it comes to you, he’s a cocky little shit who can’t keep it in his pants
2K notes · View notes
faiirybread · 6 months
Text
the wilt of the rose ︴dr3
🥀in which.. they just cant talk to eachother
pt1! pt2!
danielricciardo just posted!
Tumblr media
did you think i didnt see you?
tagged: clara11.8
liked by user1, clara11.8, and 7.62m others
user1 DAD NOOO
user2 STAWP STAWP STAWP
user3 clara11.8 PLEASE GET OUT OF HERE. SAVE YOURSELF FROM THIS MESS
user4 bro u miss her
landonorris DAD PLEASE THIS ISNT YOU
user5 lando is just like the rest of us fr
user6 i need someone on twitter to explain the FULL timeline because i am so so confused on how this happened bro
user7 samee like i need to know who cheated first, who was pettier, AND WHO THE HELL WAS IN YNS POST!!!
redbull 😻😻 and mclaren 😕
papaya cult member
danny what the hell is going on
are you and yn like seriously over
im so confused
maxy paxy #1
yeah everytime i go on insta something is going on with you two
pls clear up the rumors
papaya cult member
danny i can see you reading this
maxy paxy #1
DANNY TELL US
DANNY RIIIC
idek tbh
papaya cult member
im gonna punch you
DANNY RIIIC
STOP i just dont know whats going on
like we went for that date and everything was fine and then the stuff about her and some guy came out
like idk
papaya cult member
ok but who started it
maxy paxy #1
yeah who cheated first
papaya cult member
be so honest rn
DANNY RIIIC
..me
papaya cult member
DANNY
WHAT THE FUCK
maxy paxy #1
dude..
DANNY RIIIC
HEAR ME OUT
papaya cult member
NO???
DANNY RIIIC
NONONO LISTEN
LISTEN
IT WAS HER FIRST
SHE CAME ONTO ME
maxy paxy #1
danny slow down
give us the full story
DANNY RIIIC
it doesnt even matter anymore
i just want it to be done
i miss her
i fucked up so bad you guys
papaya cult member
no shit sherlock
DANNY RIIIC
like
what am i supposed to do?
maxy paxy #1
mate im gonna be honest
i dont think you can fix it
DANNY RIIIC
what
why
papaya cult member
BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS
DANNY RIIIC
yeah i know that but like
is there fr no way back?
maxy paxy #1
ok lando back off
ok?
take a breather
papaya cult member
k.
maxy paxy #1
danny.
you betrayed her trust
so so much
like you will have to grovel your way back
DANNY RIIIC
ok
ok i will
yourusername just posted!
Tumblr media
there were flashing lights 🎇
tagged: carmenmmundt, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes
liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 1.6million others
user1 oh..
user2 GIRLS TRIP!!!
user3 mom i dont want a new dad
carmenmmundt the best trip!!
yourusername stop i love you sm carmen ��
user4 literally the prettiest group omfg
user5 mom pls forgive dad
user6 didnt she cheat on him?
user5 idek at this point, i just want my parents together
lilymhe LOVE YOU GIRLIE!!!
yourusername I LOVE YOU MORE 😚 😚
alex_albon 🤨
lilymhe babe look away
user6 4th and 6th slide.. danny ric you gotta step it up
user7 @danielricciardo you have 24 hours to respond
francisca.cgomes we have to do this again methinks
yourusername 100%, i need to party with you again!
alexandrasaintmleux literal goddess omg
yourusername thats all you girlie!!
user8 HOOOLY MOLY
user9 HOOOOOLY MOOOLY
user8 Holy crap
user9 Your body is makin’ me smile!
user10 yourusername yourusername IS THIS MAN A REPEAT
yourusername …🤭🤭
user10 HUHHHH
user7 THE LORE IS HUGEE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
216 notes · View notes
kaisworlds · 6 months
Note
SOMETHING with gaz PLEASE!! ANYTHING!! MY BOY IS STARVING!!!!
smirky face emoji
tbh idek what this is its so bad too someone help this fucking wristers block in murdering me and my unborn kids
cw: ooc gaz 😥 kissing👹 jealous kyle🤘
no one would have expected the sergent to be the one getting dicked down by the new recruit but here they are.
its only been a few months since you joined the force, constantly flirting with everyone but of course keeping in professional. not noticing the eyes watching you as you shamelessly flirt with soap listening to the cheesey pick up lines you two use on each other.
however your favourite person to make subtle advances towards is definitely sergent kyle, you could tell he liked it by the way he avoids eye contact as his cheeks deepen in color telling you how unprofessional it is. you dont do it as much anymore actually worrying for the sake of your job with how much he asks threatens to report you even though it was always empty promises.
you notice how he has been picking on you more, making you run errands like a chore boy so you decide to confront him knocking on his office door waiting for the quiet hum before walking in and standing across the desk from him.
he looks up from his paper work raising an eyebrow "yes? do you need anything?" trying to sound somewhat intimidating ignoring the way his heart picks up pace by simply being alone with you.
"no disrespect sir but i feel as though i am being treated unfairly with the distribution of chores around the base and i would like to wonder why" eyes scanning over his face, watching as he goes to rub his stubble, something he does when he is nervous, usually being yelled at by the captain but its just you two why would he be nervous.
confusion dusts your brain until it all clicks
"holy shit youre jealous arent you" kyle's eyes widen as he blinks "excuse me? what are you getting at here" his accent pushing through brutally hoping he doesnt get caught up in his small crush for you or maybe a small (huge.) part of him wants you to like him back. "im saying youre jealous of the other people i've been flirting with...and maybe even angry at me since i stopped messin 'round with you yeah?" leaning forward onto the table, he cant help up stare at how your muscles are bulging out of your shirt sleeves before replying "and what if i am its got nothing to do with how much chores you do im not petty" he keeps his eyes to the pages scattered across his desk as he feels your presence lurking around the desk until he feels a hand coming from behind resting on his shoulder "if you liked me you couldve just told me kyle" your lips are so close to his ear if he turned his head-
he couldnt even finish his thought before he felt a hand on his cheek turning his face as you plant a kiss on his lips a quick one that has him slightly chasing your lips "you know for a sergeant you're pretty desperate...going as far as to put me through manual labor just to get back at me" he shys away guilt slightly taking over him "you're cute though" he huffs before chuckling its been years since anyone called him cute
105 notes · View notes
valentine-writes · 9 months
Note
ur writing is super good!! sorry if i’m piling on with this, but any angst with miguel? i need this man put in a blender
if you need to be mean
Tumblr media
「 tws + notes: vv possibly ooc, unedited, spider-person reader, unhealthy dynamic, assorted angst, hurt/comfort ending, reader is cold, miguel doesn't know how to deal with emotions, everyone is a wreck but they're all trying so hard :( </3 」
Tumblr media
「 gn!reader, man idek if this is platonic or romantic tbh y'all r just messy here 」
↳ ft. miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099
author's note: THANK U SM!! and i got u!!! i am. so excited 2 practice more for him– anon please don't be upset w/ me,, but,,, (´∩`。),,, i physically don't think i can write Pure Angst. i wud b no good at it!! :p so! hurt/comfort in the end ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ i CANT JUS,, END IT SAD,, </3 i am so so sorry!! also so so real putting him in tha blender at the Highest Speed ever,,, he iz my milk webkin fr (lovingly) (kinda) some real quick stuff: this was gonna b short but i Overdid It and im still unsure whether i like it or not. and also. i was supposed to have the reader being mildly Messed Up™️ too cuz "hehehehe letz make this more difficult >:))" (also becuz miguel is NOT the only one allowed to have issues + too many angsts i have read where reader jus takes what miguel dishes out passively and i didn't want that) BUT I ENDED UP MAKING IT WORSE AJDHDQWHJE,,, hopefully this is. angst galore. again i am not great w this <( _ _ )> <//3
Tumblr media
▸ maintaining a healthy relationship with miguel– in any form– proves to be difficult.
this is especially prevalent in the beginning stages of your developing relationship. you begin to learn that he is terrible with verbally expressing any affection he feels towards you. some days he seems almost so completely distant that there’s valid reason to worry that he just doesn't care about you anymore.
these worries are the furthest thing from the truth– miguel hasn't cared about someone to this extent in a while. still, he finds himself lacking, completely unable to tell you how much you mean to him.
▸ sometimes he grows fearful that he's become too attached to you. he aware he's in too deep at this point, yet conflict rages on in his mind: whether it's better to hold on as tight as he can to keep you in his life, or let you go before something rips you away from him.
part of him is worried it's only a matter of time before something happens.
these thoughts are usually quelled by drowning himself in tasks and missions, using his focus on work as a means of distraction.
when there's nothing left to shut them out, he chooses to avoid you instead of seeking reassurance.
there are times when you don't see him for days straight. he doesn't send you on any missions, doesn't contact you, actively avoids you when you're inside of the HQ– and when you eventually see him again, he avoids speaking of it. you both understand you're meant to pretend like nothing happened.
you're not beyond doing the same to him. miguel is distraught with how similar you two can be, how you reflect him and he reflects you in unique and awful ways– ways that only the two of you can understand.
▸ whenever you choose to be the one to spontaneously ditch, however,,, there are moments where he gets desperate and ends with him seeking you out,, usually by assigning you a mission just so you have a reason to come back
no matter who leaves– whether it's you or miguel– you both end up taking each other back in the end, half-heartedly reaching the unspoken agreement that this is the way you two “reconcile.” you grow accustomed to this back and forth.
you're both wonder who this is hurting more.
▸ never wants to be seen as clingy or needy. wants to convince himself he can make it on his own, that things are somehow better that way. miguel feels a deep frustration in the fact that he can't seem to process his emotions in a proper manner.
he seeks solace in solitude, even if it never fully works. he's willing to settle with feeling "okay" instead of "better." (self isolation moment.)
asking for help on missions is one thing. asking for personal help is another, which means that offering him support on his bad days is always a hit or miss.
most of the time, if someone chooses to extend their hand to him, it's typical that he swats it away and insists he doesn't need anything. he doesn't accept help easily– even when it's from you.
▸ there's always the off chance he lets you stick around. he's silent as you find a place for the two of you to sit down. once he’s comfortable, he leans against your side.
the quiet in the room isn't tense. it isn't scary. you know he just doesn't want to talk about what’s bothering him often. he can't even verbalize how much you mean to him– how is he meant to explain any of his other emotions to you?
"it's okay." you whisper, breaking the silence in the room. "just... take your time."
even though your words are as soft you can manage, it feels like you're yelling in contrast to his complete wordless state. you glance over at him. miguel doesn't meet your gaze.
"i'll be here for you," his expression softens ever so slightly at your words as you reassure him, "i promise."
he only mutters one word in response: "don't."
▸ (next headcanon based off of this art from instagram. slide two specifically.)
you can still remember the first time he ever cried in front of you. it's been a vivid memory in your head ever since it happened– not because of why it happened– but because of how it happened.
"you haven't been around for days, miguel." it's been almost more than a week since you've last seen him. this time, you sought him out– not to bring him back into your life, but to confront him one last time. after deliberating for longer than you cared to mention, you finally decided you were going to make things right or get out of his life for good.
and there he is, standing on his platform. it's lowered to the ground, the orange holographic screens surrounding him empty, displaying nothing. they emit a soft glow in the dark of the room.
"tell me what's wrong." you demand. the tone in your voice is unfamiliar to him. you're not making any effort to conceal how thin your patience has been wearing.
his back is turned to you. he doesn't say a word until you approach the lowered platform he stands on.
"go away."
"what? like you've been doing this entire time?" you retort.
"go away." he repeats more forcefully. his anger doesn't scare you away. nothing ever does.
you stare at him unflinchingly. "not until you tell me what's wrong."
miguel knows you're going to stand firm. you're going to stay until he tells you. as he lifts his head, glancing over his shoulder to speak to you, you brace yourself– you wait for him to yell. to lash out. anything.
he just looked at you. his eyes, stinging with tears, meeting your stare.
you don't remember what was hurting him that day. you can't recall what made him breakdown in front of you. no, this is the part you remember.
miguel's large frame looks so much smaller as he attempts to shrink himself, as if trying to hide from you. he averts his gaze, trying to blink back the tears and fails horribly.
he has nothing left to do. miguel hides his face in his hand, even if it’s only the two of you in the room. he’s humiliated– completely ashamed– that he can’t seem to stop his crying. for a moment, you’re frozen, unsure of what to do.
it's a drastic change from how you know him. standing in front of you, miguel seems more like an inconsolable child, rather than the detached and icy person most knew him as.
"don't look at me." those are the only audible words miguel manages to choke out between stifled sobs. he cries like a little boy.
and you hate it. you hate how hard he makes it hard to stay angry at him. you hate that no matter what you do, you can't stay away.
the tension in your body dissolves slowly, jaw unclenching as you sigh to yourself. you’re caving already.
it takes you a moment, but you know you can't leave him like this.
slowly approaching him, you quietly wrap your arms around him from behind, gentle enough for him to pull away from your touch if he didn't want it. he doesn't protest. you swear you can feel him subconsciously lean in.
"it's okay," you mutter, "i got you."
▸ miguel makes sure to talk to you the next day after you comforted him. to your surprise, it wasn't to tell you to keep that moment between the two of you– he knew you well enough to know you wouldn't say a word.
he was there to say thank you. simple and plain as that. he thanked you for sticking around. thanked you for being there even though he constantly pushed you away.
and you couldn't find the energy to respond. horribly disheartening to miguel, considering this is the most effort he had put in to communicate with you– but understandable. he didn't push you any further.
as awful as it felt to know, you didn't want a thank you. you didn't need his gratitude for your stubbornness.
it was much too late for a thank you to resolve the days he left you without a word, only to return expecting everything to be the same. it was much too late for a thank you to make you feel better about the fact you ended up comforting him even after everything. those words couldn't fix anything.
you wanted a goddamn apology.
▸ it's been almost three weeks since you'd last been seen around the spider society hq.
nobody seemed to be aware of the reason for your sudden disappearance. miguel was worried sick.
his temper is shorter, his patience is waning, and he’s willing to snap if anyone even mildly irritates him. it’s an unpleasant experience for everyone.
he'd tried to find you by tracking your watch, which proved to be useless. you were too clever for that– you'd made yourself undetectable, somehow disabling or destroying it before you left. miguel could’ve hunted you down, searching every place in the multiverse to find you again, once more to see you. but he didn't have to. the moment he had decided to start the search, your watch went active again, allowing him to locate where you were. like you were beckoning him over.
he didn’t hesitate to meet you there, stepping through a portal to get to you. notably, you weren’t in your own universe– but he wasn’t going to scold you for that. not now.
there you were. it was almost dream-like to him, seeing you sitting in the grassy fields in the middle of nowhere, the outline of your frame illuminated by the moonlight. the night air was filled with tension, as you sensed him approach from behind and quietly sit beside you.
he’s the one to break the silence. your name slips from his lips, as he’s about to speak up–
"hey." you greeted flatly, cutting him off. you glance at him with a weak smile, chuckling dryly. "so... you need something?"
"...no." miguel glanced around at the unfamiliar setting. just before he can get anything out, you part your lips to speak again, looking up at the dark sky, glittering above the two of you.
“i forget that new york doesn’t have the best view of the stars.” you murmur. “light pollution and all that shit… so y’know,, this is nice. i missed this type of view.”
he nods in agreement, though the small talk about the stars isn’t what he wanted from you.
you continue with your little ramble, seemingly just saying whatever came to mind. “speaking of cities– how’s your corner of the multiverse been? has nueva york been fine? feels like forever since i’ve been there.”
miguel tries not to be distracted by your casual conversation or your obvious allusions to your absence. he sees the way your shoulders are held tense, the way your gaze flits over at him expectantly– miguel knows you’re just waiting for him to talk about it, anticipating what he’s oing to say next.
"i– look–” he takes in a breath, finding the words he had been planning to say all this time. “i know. i know i messed up, and i messed up a lot. …i just came here to tell you i'm sorry. for everything."
there’s a momentary lapse of silence between the two of you. the tension is immeasurable as he watches you shift your sitting position, facing him entirely.
"you should be. asshole."
miguel sighs. “i… really should’ve expected that.”
“you know, migs? i tried so hard to just leave you alone.” the previous confidence in your voice wavers. there’s no bitterness in your words, no malice. he hears it in your tone: you’re just worn down, utterly emotionally exhausted.
he hears a sniffle, causing him to turn his full attention to you. the tears glisten as they fall from your eyes and drip down your cheeks. you make no attempt to shy away.
“what are we gonna do now?” you ask, looking over at him. your voice is faint. small. “i can’t let you go– and for fuck’s sake, you won’t even let me– so… what now?”
“i… don’t know.” he confesses. his hand makes his way to yours, placed atop it. his other wipes your tears away, trembling as he touches your cheek with all the tenderness there is, like he’s afraid he might hurt you. he whispers your name again, and it is the sweetest sound you’ve heard in a while.
miguel usually thinks he’s no good at comforting others. but in this moment, you would’ve never known that. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into an embrace, holding you in his arms like you’re the most precious thing in the world. he’s not leaving you to suffer alone. he’s not leaving you like that ever again.
“you don’t have to forgive me.” he whispers to you. miguel knows he can’t repair all the damage he’s done. he knows you might never be able to look at him the same. And for once, he’s fine with that. he just needs to know you’ll be okay. “...just, please. let me do this for you.”
54 notes · View notes
ovaruling · 1 year
Text
negative self talk incoming for whoever needs that idek
regular daily update that i regret having my like 99999 cosmetic surgeries so much and i dont even want to put the exhaustive energy into accepting my face and body atp anymore bc they remain utter strangers who i hate
and despite all of the feminist theory i have read and comprehended and applied to the way i see the world i STILL cannot rid myself of this very specific form of self-hatred and im not even being defeatist when i say i truly know that i will never be at peace bc of the choices i have made. like how can i ever be ok with this. i’d have to be lobotomized to be cool with this
and even besides that the chronic physical pain and damage to my actual nervous system won’t allow me a moment of forgetfulness. like on an amazing day where i’m full of caffeine or xanax i can MAYBE forget what i look like for an hour but it’s impossible to forget that i literally cant physically feel my entire torso and abdomen and buttocks and my upper back and my inner thighs and upper arms and underarms and my jaw and cheeks
but also at the same time i can feel incredible levels of stabbing numb shocks of pain in all of them lmfao.
exercising helps for a bit and reminds me that i can at least move my body around but i always gotta come back to reality where i have to confront that i’m genuinely permanently ill and legitimately brain damaged. like neurologically
and bc of that i went from being a normal adult 10 years ago to now i cant hold a job, cant go back and attend school, cant drive a car anymore, need IV treatments weekly, no independence, no ability to even volunteer for longer than an hour at local animal shelters before i start having problems bc i cant explain to anyone why i need to lie down every 2 hours or else i legitimately go numb and pass out no matter how little exertion im doing, no future where i can help the world the way i want to. i cant even read 2 chapters of a fucking favorite book that i LOVE without getting dizzy for no fuckjng reason. i have to REST from reading a fucking BOOK
and doctors are just like “oh well that’s what happens when you fucking almost die two times from elective surgery lol kinda your fault tbh. you really should’ve just accepted how viciously hated by men your body was. but the human body is so mysterious huh!!! like this is crazy dude lmao. 🤪 so yeah here’s a pamphlet for a support group that doesn’t really fit your needs and some medication that won’t work bc we still don’t really know how to diagnose or treat plastic surgery victims like this bc technically you weren’t in a car crash or anything so we don’t really have enough research rn to fully apprehend what’s going on w your mysterious ass. also you had more surgeries than most ppl ever will be stupid enough to undertake so like we have no idea what to do w you lol!!!!!! there isn’t really data that fits your situation but maybe in 30 years 😌”
just in case anyone was wondering if i changed my mind on cosmetic surgery being true evil!!!!!! lol
ok sorry for the pity party i just really am feeling the weight of it all rn
25 notes · View notes
the-kipsabian · 8 months
Text
i feel like this is as good of a time as any to talk rn
but i think im kinda creatively burned out. especially when it comes to gifs and edits tbh
it might have something to do with the lashing out i did yesterday morning and how everything made me feel, but.. idk. making gifs very much just feels like a chore of me running on autopilot with how i create them so its just not kind of fun anymore. im still doing them more for myself than anything else, but at the same time it just.. just feels time consuming and like the time and effort i do put in doesnt translate back to me in a way i want. yes even if im pretty much only making kip content (with occasional chrissy b's thrown in), it still feels like that
i guess part of it is that i just did so much in rapid succession following the past week of content while ive been sick and my brain has decided to focus on the numbers about that which have for the most part not been great so.. this plus the stuff mentioned above. idk i just dont feel like its fun. like the stuff i posted today i dont feel like i had fun making it. i finished the set more out of obligation than actually wanting to provide gif content of kip
editing-wise idk again i like doing it but whats the point really lmao. im not good at it and its not the popular kind of content on my blog so idek why i do them. again, dont feel super fun rn
i dont know where this is going. maybe i need a break. i just dont feel very positively about making anything rn (and im praying it doesnt bleed onto writing cause i cant afford to feel that way too when i can finally get back to that when this sickness is fully over) but.. idk. heads up i guess if i stop posting stuff. just not feeling very great about shit is all
10 notes · View notes
star-sim · 26 days
Note
oh wise vanya please help me apparently my year of dignity and male-lessness decided to spice things up and now i’m in a Dilemma!
a bit (a lot) of context: so around two and a half years ago there was this guy who liked me and then confessed to me, at the time i liked him a little too but i think it was mainly because i liked the idea of liking someone and someone liking me?? if that makes sense.
so he confessed to me one day and i was like “oh i like you too lol” because i literally did Not know what to do in that situation and then it was lowkey awk because we mutually avoided each other at school 💀 we were really young tho BUT THEN like a month and a half later he was said he didn’t like me anymore (HE SENT THAT OVER TEXT LMFAO…) and i responded with “okay” (i realized that i didn’t really like him at that point too so i was kind of relieved tbh) it wasn’t even a relationship because bffr we didn’t even hold hands so why was bro being all like “let’s break up 😐” like… were we ever even together be honest
it was VERY awkward after that like lmao we wouldn’t even make eye contact but then a few months later we became close friends because we were friends before (idek how atp); then he moved away during the summer because he was going to some boarding school & we still kept in contact up until last summer
he got a girlfriend in may of last year?? and ever since then i’d been VERY distant like i didn’t talk to him at ALL because i have to uphold the girl code… apparently he told his girlfriend about me though and i’ve heard from a mutual friend that she doesn’t like me that much and disliked me even more after she found out that he had a saved folder of me in his photos (that’s on him tho bc wtf 💀 that’s kind of a Red Flag of him)
anyways back to today… i opened my snapchat after 8263872 days of being dormant and apparently he texted me for the first time since JUNE three weeks ago and i unknowingly left him on sent 💀💀
now i could either: a) open his message because honestly i am morbidly curious or b) leave his message to marinate forever and leave him on sent indefinitely
which would be more girlboss because i am done w men irl 😐 send help pls
ASH!!!!
liking someone purely bc you like the idea of liking someone and them liking you back is SO REAL
UGHH he is so middle school boy love.... the "let's break up" over text when the most ygs did was probably look at each other.... pukes
youre such a girl's girl, youre SO realness for not talking to him for the sake of girl code... ugh im sorry controversial opinion it irks me when ppl are angry at their s/o's ex... like u didnt even do anything to her, is it a crime to exist. if anything, she should be mad at HIM??? like who is the one keeping pictures of their ex? not you, so why are you literally the subject of her anger. ever since new years i've been trying to tone down my d1 hater tendencies but ouuuu that makes me to annoyed on your behalf like LEAVE HER ALONE 😡
i say... open the message. see what this bitchass has to say. i'm also kinda curious too. whether or not you respond is up to you, but if youre worried about girl code, i don't see an issue? he's the one doing shady stuff, your entire existence is not tied to him and your actions are independent of him, if that's hard for him or his gf to see then they clearly aren't mature does it kill them to use critical thinking
but if you DO leave him on sent... it would be pretty funny
everyone ditch his ass he deserves no one!!!!!
6 notes · View notes
discotenny · 6 months
Note
IDEK WHERE THE IMAGES R FROM IM SEEING EVERYWHERE BUT CANT FIND VIDEO BUT HEY LOOK DID U SEE THIS (from someone random blog post bc idek where to find the original)
https://www.tumblr.com/lochness-art/733533305005293568/no-one-asked-but-here-r-my-opinions-on-the-new
NEW SPRITFESSS TIME SKIP REAL TIME SMIP REALFL
NEW SPRITES NEW SPRITES AWAHHWAHFHEAJIORERER
I posted my thoughts on the outfits when that big compilation image came out but now that we have visible LEGS for the all the charas now I feel obligated to update my thoughts fdsafadsfs. Put under a cut cause I have a feeling its gonna be long fdsfdsafs
Original thought post
Original post listed in the ask
ALSo, the images are from the new hypmic flava trailer posted on their yt channel here :3
Ichiro: We saw him in full before, but I just want to reiterate how they intentionally got rid of all the connections Ichi had to the bros within his clothing. From Jiro's blue on his sleeves, the zip up shirt they all shared, and having the iconic BB lettering not there anymore- it seems like they're trying to distance Ichi's character from being so bro centric. Maybe to show growth how he's going to be more independent? It's a bit odd because being dependent isn't Ichi's flaw, that's Jiro and Saburo's... Maybe it's to show how THEYRE distancing from HIM 🤔
Jiro: This hair change is such a W for Jiro fans!! It was unclear if he actually changed it in art prior but this is a W SUCH A W!!! I miss the white stripes on his shoulders for contrast reasons but he looks just like a more mature version of his old design. It looks like he's wearing the checkered shirt instead of wrapping it around his waist which is cuter and makes much more sense fdsafdsfds.
Saburo: He looks all grown up LOL The time skip is only supposed to be a few months from what I recall, so at most he's now 15 but imo I think they're keeping them to og ages tbh. The mustard is such a good look for him! The more pastel yellow and school uniform esc coat of his old design did a lot to keep him looking / feeling young so this new design feels like he's growing up to be more comfortable to be who he is ;_;
Samatoki: He looks just as hot and he's somehow showing even MORE skin despite having a jacket lmao. Those popping buttons I see you Toki fdsafdsaf. Again he looks less like a gangster / yakuza but I wonder if they're trying to lean into that look. He pretty. Real pretty...
Jyuto: Thoughts have pretty much stayed the same, it reads like an Extra Wardrobe outfit rather than something he'd wear on the daily. In the new arc did he stop wearing his uniform since the government shut down? Did he just say fuck the dress code? I do like the outfit, it makes him look a lil more sleazy LOL
Rio: Rio looks good he looks good!! I don't have much thoughts on him since I never really do but I still find it hilarious he has the same pants as his old outfit.
Ramuda: He looks excellent as always but I do agree with the original poster that I miss his blue :C I think the yellow makes him look really young and it kinda doesn't jive with me ??? I love the hat though he looks very very cute. Ramuda also has the best shoes in the cast and I appreciate they didn't change it.
Gentaro: Gentaro is so funny I think they legitimately just made his back cape longer?? He also got rid of the high collar undershirt, which probably symbolizes that he's hiding less of himself to his friends. I love Gen but I need to see him not in motion to see how well this outfit fits him. ATM I think the longer cape messes up his silhouette by making him seem like a rectangle.
Dice: I miss the trench coat!! I miss the trench coat!!! I don't care if it would be smelly I miss the trench coat !!! I think getting rid of the black parts on his collar and outside his sleeves kind of make him look too... normal??? Like idk, where's the spice!! Give him fingerless gloves or sm shit he needs SOMETHING to make him look less like just a guy :C He's cute but I think his old fit is >>>
Jakurai: He looks SOOOOO GOOOD. We've seen this in full before but he looks CUUUTEEE. Like I'm no Jakurai stan but hooo boy that coat does smthn to me. He looks looser, like he's gonna have some fun, maybe go to the mall or smthn he looks good !!!!! Anons brought up Jakurai removing his doctor coat as a symbolism for his savior complex going away and I think it's really cool !!! One of the best new fits imo.
Hifumi: I like his og outfit much better I'm sorry 😭😭😭 I think with Materno's main color being light grey, Jakurai being in white, Doppo being a light grey now, Hifu being that off white just makes him blend together with the other members. Maybe it's the fact that he's set against a white background but he just gets lost among the other two. Having the darker colors concentrated around his head / upper body helps though.
Doppo: I love him my baby I love him I lve nye my baby my vobeoteoy frmajwfmweoijfghuefuwafjewanjmisafkowafewoawfeaiow. I say from my last post: "He’s getting loose he’s getting silly he’s CRAZY DOPPO IN THE HOUSE !!!"
Sasara: I like the outfit on it's own but I kind of... hate how it's matching with Rosho. SasaRo enjoyers rejoice but I don't like how it doesn't allow Sasara (and Rosho in turn) be his own character. It was mainly an issue I had with Rosho but this new fit puts in on Sasara too, that it kind of forces you to look at him in the lense of his relationship with Rosho rather than who he is as a chara on it's own. Also they made him less colorful :CC The bowtie is super cute though I like it.
Rosho: Rosho does look cute but again I wish it wasn't so obviously a callback to his relationship with Sasara!! I do like the hair, it's very cute fdsafdsa. He looks a lot more comfortable and a lot more confident but I'm unsure if its due to character development or just for cool points. Rosho looks like he smells good
Rei: He's too grey 💀 TOO GREY !!! I think getting rid of the hat and glasses was such a downgrade it does not look very good. It's a lot of my issues with Hifu's outfit without actually having a good clothing design to make up for it. I think it's nice how it could possibly be a call back to Kazuma Kiryu but that doesn't really make up for it :/
Kuko: I was wrong his hair did not get shorter 💀💀💀 But he is INCREDIBLE !! IT'S VERY GOOD!!! I have nothing to complain / nitpick about I think it's very good. (one nitpick I guess FDSAFDS. His bright hair now seems a bit out of place against the darkness of his clothing. Maybe making the purple accent stripes blue or red would have made it better? Unsure though.
Jyushi: He looks very good but I wish they gave him more interesting pants they're very underwhelming compared to his incredible top!! Like imagine sm crazy shit like lace racing stripes, some peekaboo patterns in triangles at the bottom of his flares, it would be very cute !!!
Hitoya: Very cute, very good, a stark improvement from his original look I have nothing else to say fdskafdasfdsa. Again, a 35 year old baby.
I think for some of the characters the outfits really really really really work (Doppo, Hitoya, Jakurai) but for a lot of them I think their original looks were much more iconic and much more fitting to themselves (Dice, Sasara, Rei). I hope we still get content put out with their original outfits because I'd legitimately be sad to never see Dice in his trench coat again :C
6 notes · View notes
bronzebatlle · 8 months
Text
feel free to ask some questions anons, i need cheering up lol its funny how im so upset by what i talk about on my own blog🥲🥲
idek what you all wanna talk about anymore now tbh, dont wanna offend anyone by talking about just L and O haha, whatever youse want do it, long as its not nasty!!💗
2 notes · View notes