#idk how to feel about thiiiiiis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 26

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- NOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER: im so sorry.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 26 : His chapter

NIALL

"She's just my best friend!" I let out for the hundredth time.

Maya rolled her eyes and shook her head in despair, her arms crossed over her body. I should find her extremely attractive, I knew it, but she exasperated me and although I knew she was gorgeous, I couldn't find an ounce of beauty in her at this exact moment. Perhaps I was way too annoyed by her petty behavior.

"So she's like a sister to you?" she asked a bit meanly, raising her eyebrows at me.

"What? No!" I grimaced. "No, Olivia is not like a sister to me she's like a... a best friend!"

It was so annoying to repeat the same things over and over again and it was not only with Maya, it was with pretty much everyone who would be around us for more than five fucking minutes.

"A best friend that you hold hands with? A best friend you hug all the fucking time?"

"Okay so we're affectionate with each other? So what?"

It was a bit more than that and I knew it was wrong to pretend otherwise but I was getting pissed. Okay, maybe I had imagined having sex with my best friend many times recently but it didn't mean anything at all. I was just a bit too horny, that was all. No big deal.

"Are you fucking serious Niall?" she continued. "How do you think that makes me feel to see pictures of you too acting like you're a couple?"

"You knew before we started dating, Maya. You know that my friendship with her was special. You knew it was different and you were okay with it, what changed? Liv is my best friend and she will always be my best friend. If you can't handle it right now then maybe this is not the relationship you need."

Her face changed suddenly and her traits softened but I was still just as mad, if not more. I wanted this discussion to be over with. I wanted to leave here and go back to having fun with my best friend. I was never a fan of drama, especially not in my own life, and I was not sure it was all worth it anymore.

"Are you sure you don't have romantic feelings for her?"

Her question took me by surprise and I frowned, pushing both my hands in my pockets before sighing low. I didn't want to answer this for the simple reason that I had to answer this question was too often. This is not something that I should be asked and I have no idea why the fuck the answer isn't obvious for everyone.

"Not that question again, no." I shake my head slightly.

I don't know how long I had been arguing with Maya when the phone rang and I took a few seconds to look at it, a bit surprised by Liv's text message. I didn't know who broke up with who but either way, it was shocking. I sighed low, rubbing my hand over my face a few times as anger towards Harry started rising inside me. I did tell him not to hurt my best friend didn't I? I couldn't believe that after all he had said and done to be with her, he was now leaving her or letting her go without a fight.

"Fucking Harry." I whispered, letting out a low and short groan.

"Niall! We're arguing here!" Maya said a bit too loud, taking me out of my daydream.

"Mm?"

I looked up at her and she seemed even angrier than before. I sighed and closed my eyes. I had to stop this discussion now before it went out of hand. Plus, I had somewhere to be, somewhere I felt I actually belonged, with someone I had promised myself to make a priority. I stared at my girlfriend a few seconds as she was desperately trying to keep my focus and attention on her and I rubbed my eyes a bit too hard, blurring my vision for a few seconds.

"Look, Maya, I really have to go."

---

The ride was short and the night was cool and stormy. The wind was blowing way more than usual and it was starting to rain but I didn't care. I waited patiently until Olivia opened the door for me and ran upstairs, skipping a few. I thought she'd be drunk by now but when she opened the door, she sent me a big smile and I was surprised to realize she could still stand and walk without difficulty.

"You look like crap." I half-joked, making her chuckle.

"Thanks, you too."

We stared at each other for a few seconds before she moved away to let me in. I noticed the bottle of wine, already half-consummated, sitting on the coffee table, along with an almost empty beer that probably belonged to Harry. I sat on the couch and grabbed the beer, taking a sip and grimacing at how warm it was. I put it back on the table and when I turned to Liv, she was sitting next to me and looking at me with an amused smile.

"Tastes like crap?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as I chuckled.

"Fuck yea."

"Like my life."

My smile fell down slowly and I suddenly felt really bad for her. I could see her eyes water and I quickly brought my hands up to cup her cheeks, moving closer to stare in her eyes better.

"Hey, hey." I whispered. She blinked a few times and pressed her lips together. "It's just a bump in the road okay? Just a small bump in the road. You're the strongest person I know, Olivia. You've been through a lot, you can get through this, you'll survive this."

She nodded slowly as my thumbs brushed gently on her cheeks.

"I believe in you, okay? And I'm here for you, I always will be."

Her eyes roamed on my face and I realized that mine were probably doing the same thing. I don't know how long we stared at each other before she just moved closer and leaned her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as I could, pressing my cheek on top of her head. It felt good to hold her that close and I realized that this hug didn't just make her feel better, it made me feel good, too.

We probably stayed like that for at least half an hour and we were both fine with it. I let my mind wander on the past few weeks and everything that had happened between us. We had never fought so much but also, we had connected in a way I couldn't explain and somehow i felt like both things were related. I had to face the facts, things really had changed between Liv and I, even if I had tried to convince myself otherwise, and I knew it really started right after tour, I just was not sure what it was and how to handle it. All I knew was that we both needed a moment of adaptation and that it would come with time. It was normal, right? People grow up, they change, and we were no exception.

"Are you gonna stay the night?"

Her voice was soft and it made me press her tighter against me.

"Yes."

I didn't even have to think about it, for me, it was obvious that I wouldn't be leaving.

"Thank you."

She was not crying but I knew she was close and I wanted to tell her to let it go. Instead, I just closed my eyes.

"Do you want me to kick his ass?"

She chuckled against my neck and it made me smile more.

"I'll do it if I have to." I added as she shook her head.

"Don't be stupid." she let out, moving slightly away from me and sniffing. "What Harry did... was the right thing to do. I guess I just didn't... expect it."

"It was a shock." I agreed with a nod. "Did you love him?"

Her face softened again and she tilted her head as I kept one of my hands on her shoulder. For some odd reason, I wanted her to say she didn't but I didn't know why. Perhaps I thought it wouldn't hurt as much if she was not in love with him.

"No, not yet."

My heart jumped but I simply nodded and send her a smile.

"Come on, it's late." I whispered. "Let's sleep, yea?"

She nodded and we both got up to walk to her room. I searched through her drawers for sweatpants and a t-shirt but when I was about to open her third one, she rushed to my side to stop me.

"Underwear?" I asked, raising my eyebrows with a smirk.

She didn't say anything but just rolled her eyes before getting clothes for me, pushing them against my chest and making me laugh. I unbuttoned my shirt and took it off before putting on the one she gave me which I was pretty sure actually belonged to me. I did the same with my pants and lied down in her bed, turning to look at her as she came back from the bathroom. She quickly turned the light off and I watched her shadow move and sit on the bed before getting under the covers with me. We remained silent again, both laying on our backs and watching the ceiling. I couldn't stop wondering what she was thinking about and I just turned my head her way.

"What are you gonna miss the most?" I just asked, not really sure why it mattered.

"The sex." she quickly replied with a chuckle. "It felt good to be wanted. And to get an orgasm from something else than my own fingers."

I nodded, my eyebrows raised, even if she couldn't see me. She was right, and I missed it more than I could admit. I missed it so much that I had sex dreams about my best friend, got hard from being close to her and even had to jerk off to the thought of her once. It was ridiculous.

I turned my body her way, holding my head with my hand, and I noticed she had closed her eyes. I brought my hand to her stomach, under the covers, and she immediately tensed under my fingers. I waited a few seconds until she relaxed again and let my hand slide down slowly. I felt her suck her stomach in and licked my lips, my hand traveling past the waistband of her sweatpants and I could feel my whole body throb at my boldness. This was not planned or even thought of. I was doing it because I felt like it and because it had been obsessing me too much recently.

"Niall..."

"Shhh." i cut her in a soft voice. "I got ya."

I slipped my hand down in her pants and the whole room seemed to move. It was the very first time I was touching my best friend this way and all I could think about was that my hand was exactly were hers was when I caught her masturbating. She whimpered, taking me out of my daydream, and spread her legs a bit to give me a better access. Two of my fingers brushed on her shaved pussy and I held my breath at the feeling, until they reached her slit, sliding between her folds and grazing her clit. She gasped, her eyes still closed, and I tried to focus on what I was doing. I could feel my dick swell against her thigh again but I decided to push the thought and need away as I pushed my fingers inside her.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I whispered without thinking. "Were you that wet when you masturbated at the lodge?"

"Y-Yes."

Her voice was shaky and whimpery and it made me grind my hips against her despite myself. My fingers moved in and out of her extremely slowly and all I could think about was licking them to taste her.

"What got you so horny that time?" I asked again with a smirk, knowing she would be more willing to answer me now that I was fingering her. "You never wanted to tell me."

"You."

My movements faltered for a second before getting back to their normal and steady speed but I couldn't stop the erratic beating of my heart due to her confession.

"Me?"

"Mmhm, you." she repeated. "I saw you almost naked, moving out of the pool, and... I just..."

I was surprised to realize she was lusting me exactly like I was lusting her. I honestly had never thought she had gotten horny because of me and I liked it. I could pretend I was simply flattered but it was more than that. It felt like some sort of victory and I couldn't understand why.

"Is that what you were thinking about when I caught you?"

I moved my head closer to whisper in her ear as one of my fingers started focusing on her clit. It was so quiet in the room that I could hear how wet she was.

"Yes."

At this thought, my fingertip pressed on her clit and her lips parted. She let out a whimper and I groaned low, my cock now painfully hard. I rubbed myself gently against her, trying to get some release as she moved one of her knees up. She looked a bit fucked, squirming slightly next to me as I fingered her, but I liked it so much I didn't want to stop.

"Fuck."

After her confession, I felt like I owed her somehow and I brushed my lips on her cheek to murmur in her ear again.

"When we got back from tour and slept in my bed together, I dreamed about us having sex." I had already shared that with her but I inhaled deeply before continuing. "I woke up with a boner, my dick pressed against your ass. I had to go jerk off in the shower. And I thought of you."

One of her hands quickly reached for my wrist and she held it hard and tight, her short nails digging slightly in my skin. I kept rubbing her clit and fingering her, a bit quicker this time though, and her back arched suddenly.

"Oh my.. god!"

She started shaking on the bed as I tried to touch her through her orgasm but the fact that she moved so much and rubbed her thigh against my cock despite herself made me groan low. I felt a rush to my brain and moaned a bit louder, feeling myself cum in my pants. She came down from her high as I reached mine and I held my breath, trying to hide the fact that I got an orgasm basically only from watching her and feeling a part of her body rub against me. I closed my eyes, slipping my whole hand over her pussy and spreading her wetness all over her. Somehow, I wished the lights would have been on and I wish there had been no blankets at all, if only to be able to see her better.

"Fuck. Oh god, fuck." she expressed again as I kept moving my hand between her legs. "I just... I came so hard."

She didn't dare to turn her head to look at me and I didn't dare to look away from her, scared but also hoping her eyes would meet mine. After a while, I gave up and licked my lips, sitting up in bed and excusing myself before locking myself in the bathroom. I had to take the sweatpants off and did the same with my soaked boxers, cursing low. I didn't know what to do with them and I ended up just washing them quickly in the sink and leaving them to dry on the side of the bath, hoping she wouldn't ask any question. I put the sweatpants back, going commando the same way she always did, and walked back in the room. She hadn't moved at all and I walked back to my side of the bed, wondering if she was already asleep.

"Liv?"

"Mm?"

I slipped back under the covers with her and waited a few seconds to talk again.

"Are you okay?"

This time, she turned my way and moved closer, cuddling my side and making my heart jump in my chest, threatening to come out of my throat. I was so happy that it didn't change anything between us and didn't make things too awkward.

"Better now." she admitted low, wrapping her arm around my chest.

I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head as her breathing became steadier and heavier. She fell asleep in my arms and I listened to her breathe for a few minutes before allowing myself to reach slumber too.

What woke me up is the unceasing and insatiable sound of my cellphone. I groaned and turned around in bed, feeling Liv move and whimper low. I grabbed my phone and mumbled somewhat of a 'hello' without really thinking.

"Niall? Where are you?"

I frowned, my eyes still closed, letting out a groan as I recognized Maya's voice. I was not in the mood to fight and I had to fight the urge to just hang up and go back to sleep. Olivia moved in her sleep again, this time closer to me, and I ran my fingers up her arm before sighing again.

"I'm at Liv's." I answered, clearing my throat. "What time is it?"

I didn't want to open my eyes and go back to reality but Maya was pulling me in that direction and I was not liking it at all. The night before came rushing to my brain and I felt my whole body on fire at the thought. Did I really do that?

"You slept there? At her place? In her bed?"

That was it. I was completely back to reality and I sighed louder, bringing one of my hand to my face to rub my eyes. I wasn't really into fighting in first place but doing it first thing in the morning was even worse.

"Yes, Maya. I slept here, in Liv's bed." I repeated. "The way I always do, and you know that."

t was a lie. Obviously, something had been different this time, but I thought mentioning it was not a good idea. I should feel guilty, perhaps, but I didn't. My best friend in the whole universe felt like shit and I made her feel better. Sure, the way I used to do it was questionable but I had promised myself she'd be my priority and i was going to stick to it. I grimaced, wondering who the hell I was trying to fool, and turned around in bed to press my face in my pillow. It smelled like her shampoo and I knew that i'd never smell vanilla and honey without thinking about her anymore.

The truth was, I had enjoyed myself too and I didn't regret it, not even for a second. I've wanted to touch her since we came back from tour and although I still wanted more, what had happened between us the night before had surpassed my expectations.

Maya kept arguing a bit on the phone but I kept quiet and when she was done, I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

"Are we still up for tonight?" I just asked, feeling Liv sit up next to me.

When I hung up with Maya, I turned to Olivia with a big smile. I was a bit tired and annoyed to have Maya on my back all the time but I tried to take it lightly.

"Morning sunshine, how'd you sleep?"

My smile fell when I noticed she was frowning, her tiny pink lips parted. Why was I noticing her features like it was the very first time? She looked confused and I sat up too, my face not extremely close to hers.

"Are you still dating Maya?"

I was taken aback by her question and I frowned, shrugging a shoulder slowly.

"Yea, why?"

Suddenly, she got up, bringing her hands to her face and shaking her head, and I pushed the covers off of me as she turned around and scoffed, making me nervous. When she turned around, I realized she was crying as I saw some tears quickly running down her cheeks. Quickly and without thinking, I jumped out of bed and walked to her, grabbing gently both her elbows right after she pressed her palms back on her face.

"Hey, petal, what's wrong?"

She got out of my embrace a bit roughly and turned around her back facing me.

"You.."

I could hear anger in her voice, even if she barely talked, and my heart sunk in my chest.

"You.. you touched me, Niall!"

"I know." I pointed out in a low and calm tone. "I remember Olivia, I was there."

"You touched me and you still have a girlfriend!" she argued again, a little louder this time. "That's called cheating Niall! And you cheated with me! And now I feel like shit! What are you going to tell Maya, mm?"

"No, wait." i let out, moving my hand up slightly to stop her. "You felt like shit, I just wanted to make you feel better. I mean, yea I've thought about you in a sexual way for a few weeks now but, you were sad, and-"

"It's not the first time i'm sad Niall! But it's the first time you choose to finger me to make me feel better!"

I got a bit shocked by how blunt she was but there was no reason for me to be surprised. It was very much like her to be so bold and it was a part of her that I adored.

"What did you think? 'Oh i'm gonna give her an orgasm to make her happy again'? It doesn't bother you that your fucking girlfriend was waiting for you while your hand was in my pants?"

"It was... it meant nothing, I just.."

I sighed loudly and shook my head, my eyes closed. She was partially right. Perhaps I should have made things clear with her first and I definitely cheated on Maya but I couldn't get myself to regret it.

"I decided you'd be my priority now, Olivia." I confessed a bit rudely. "I'm not going to lose you, not again. I don't want to. You and I... it's forever. You know it, right? You feel it? I can't be the only one to feel it."

Her eyes watered again and this time, she closed her eyes. The tears that slid down her cheeks made my heart break and I took a step closer. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to tell her how much I needed her in my life and how horrible those weeks without her were but I didn't have time. God knows if I would have even told her. Was I courageous enough to be honest with her and with myself?

"Well wrong move, Niall." she pointed out in a low and shaky voice. She seemed calm suddenly and I knew it meant nothing good. "I need to be alone."

Still wearing her sweatpants and a t-shirt, she grabbed a sweater and her phone before leaving the room. I remained standing up, motionless, until I heard the door from her apartment close. After a while, I sighed, knowing how bad I had fucked up, and sat on her bed, rubbing my eyes a bit too hard. I should feel bad for Maya, and scared to lose her. I should regret touching my best friend, I should hate myself for acting selfishly and stupidly... but all I could focus on was the fear that I had pushed my best friend away. Again. And that this time, she was gone forever.

#niall horan #niall horan story #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #was it too plain?#was it too boring?#was not hot enough mm?#idk how to feel about thiiiiiis

76 notes · View notes

your-jellyfish-senpai · 4 years

Text

Maybe I'll just. Work this weekend. Ugh.

#i cant fucking take thiiiiiis #i am past my breaking point i can feel it idk what to dooooo #i sent a message to my am like 'hey next week lets talk about my workload and stuff in general bc im struggling'#and then she promptly did not respond lol #you cant just give me more work than i have EVER been responsible for and expect me to thrive #im already drowning #idk how to cope with things as they are #unless theyre trying to kill me now or something in which case HUH YOURE SUCCEEDING #i havent felt this Bad in a long time and its a combination of work and everything else fucking happening #and if my managers dont understand that then idk what to do

1 note · View note

420pogpills · 3 years

Note

no i also agree about the whole “dream was miffed” thing. i think george really clicks with karl bc karl is one of the few streamer friends he has who doesn’t make it a point to make sexual jokes about him or insult him every five seconds or to - well - use him as shipping bait (*cough* no i’m not still bitter about last night’s stream wdym). regardless of whether or not i’m reaching though id say george warmed up to karl REALLY quickly and ive recently noticed that he always replies to karl on twitter? even when he’s not directly involved in the conversation, which, i just want to say, even dream doesn’t get this treatment. i’m really happy for them and it’s probably why george’s really excited to meet karl in person.

the thing is george doesn’t really do the whole simping for other people thing - that’s usually reserved for other people to do for him (at least on camera). i think dream was just thrown that george would blatantly show how much he cares for someone on stream. like george is reserved, and his online persona is built around being the “mean” friend if you know? george barely “breaks character” even for dream (unless it’s for obvious bait) so i think it definitely shocked him (and honestly everyone else in the call, sapnap and quackity were pretty quiet until karl explicitly mentioned them) when george was so forward with his affections.

i definitely agree with you that george has gotten very close with karl because karl treats him differently compared to the other guys, in a sense that he doesn’t get any bullying (even if it’s all in good fun) or sexual comments. they are both very goofy and you can tell their friendship is growing stronger every day!

thiiiiiis is probably a very controversial opinion, but i feel like george and dream have drifted a tiny bit? maybe my brain is just sending me these signals because of all the lore lately, it’s been very anti-dreamteam, there’s been a lot of arguments between them all for the plot and they get so heated that i guess a part of me takes it personally haha. and with the tweeting too, they haven’t really been interacting on twitter at all? but that’s purely my opinion and i’m probably just overthinking as i usually do. it’s hard to really say when you don’t actually personally know either of them haha

yeah george was never a simp. he always relied on dream, and i feel dream loves that, having someone who counts on him so much. i guess maybe he always thought it would be just them, just the dream team, but obviously so many people came into the dream smp and they’re getting bigger and meeting more and more people, they are bound to create more bonds! maybe dream didn’t expect george to prioritise someone else? not to say that that is what george has done, but i guess making plans to meet karl right in front of dream when they haven’t made plans yet (not that we know of anyway) kind of maybe made him feel a bit sad? bitter? idk what the right word would be.

i don’t know, i get some tense vibes lately for some reason but i reckon it’s just the lore influencing my opinion haha!

#anon #ask #imo #dnf #dreamnotfound #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #please check my pinned post before saying anything #i put a disclaimer about how my mind works lmao #discourse #i guess?

98 notes · View notes

astrologista · 5 years

Text

so that was An Episode.

SPOILERS SPOILERS MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD

DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN S3E1 THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

i’m sorry but i have to write these down right now before the thoughts go out my mind. i swear to my lord i it’s 4:17am and i’m compromised here we go

where do i even START.

so cass. that was definitely. not what i expected. or what i wanted, really. i feel that this origin is somewhat low-hanging fruit in my opinion just based on the context of how it was explained and cass’s positioning within the narrative. at the same time i completely understand it, and it was executed very well and heartbreakingly. the song was in-cred-i-ble. and tbh i’m glad they got the heck out of the dark kingdom so quickly, because it would have crippled the ep time-wise for them to stay even a few seconds longer.

adira is 100% going after cass now and nothing can change my mind

i imagine edmund will prolly team up with adira

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH HERE’S WHERE I GO OFF

when they showed that emblem of saporia, i honestly freaking thought they were gonna give us the ol’ tee-hee again and that we weren’t going to see any varian in this ep.

well.

i am glad to be wrong. because DAYUM.

varian has a beautiful new outfit. it’s like a steampunk cosplayer with sort of a pirate alchemist motif. it’s really nice. he’s got some thanos gloves and this amazing little bandanna he wears that has a print of an evil looking smile with sharp teeth. very fitting for him.

he also had a goatee which i in my infinite hubris actually thought was like a real goatee that he had somehow grown lol because puberty. but actually he just scribbled it on his face with a marker. that’s such a varian thing a ha. WHY’S HE SO CUTE

so andrew said they were CELLIES OH GOD I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. if that’s true it means king frederic threw him in gen pop jail. good goin’ fred.

now quite honestly i never thought that varian is the type to team up with other villains. and i was right, because he did have his own plan going and was ready to betray his whole gang as soon as he felt like it. but it does seem like andrew was super playing into varian’s affection-starved side lol and was doing a BAD job of trying to play big brother. like. he tried it lol. and i need to know more about this. i’m hoping to god more will be revealed.

varian named his new compound quirinium. so now no one will ever forget.

but oh wait. actually everyone’s gonna forget. because his plan is to pump out gas to literally make everyone forget everything he’s ever done because he’s got a GUILT COMPLEX THIS CHILD HAS A GUILT COMPLEX THE SIZE OF TEXAS Y’ALL

and i know i missed a bunch of details and i have to go back over it but now i understand. I UNDERSTAND NOW AND I’M SO SAD... the way he was listing off offenses on his fingers it’s like. he must have had a long time to think it over and he’s been rolling each one of those around in his mind for basically months. we need a flashback. give us a flashback.

i’m 99% sure the group of saporians hanging out with andrew are commies and also possibly meth addicts and i don’t think they’re a great influence on varian. not just because they’re villains but because they’re so low-tier he’s beyond them really. i get the sense he could do better.

i really honestly wanted this arc to happen... slower. i wanted there to be more time, more of an organic change, more of everything. but how it turned out, i’m glad. varian is a variable character, and just as quickly as he can turn villainous, so too can he turn to the light, as long as there’s someone there who cares about him. he still don’t give a darn about morality, he just happens to be on the side of good again? yay?

someone needs to cap that scene when they’re in the jail cell and varian is just sitting there looking like a sad, kicked puppy because that shit gave me a Feel.

when lance wiped off that magic marker goatee all of my crops were miraculously watered. oh varian.

and then i watched it again and became sad because he just looks so shocked and then DEPRESSED like “well. there is goes. what’s left of my manhood. gone in an instant. it’s over” also i think he looked a tad scared of lance because. he’s a big guy. who reminds him of his dad

don’t TALK to me about how sad he looked when eugene didn’t trust him oh MY GOD eugene i know this kid almost killed several people... and kidnapped the queen and went berserk... but like. look at him. how can you not trust him. he wants to be trusted. TRUST HIM EUGENE

by the way speaking of TRUST oh my GOD. HE REALLY WANTED THEM TO TRUST HIM AGAIN TO THE POINT WHERE HE WAS WILLING TO ERASE EVERYONE’S MEMORIES. varian. baby. you don’t go around erasing peoples memories to reinstate your social standing in the community. whatchu doin. i think we established that mass mind control is a big no-no

RAPUNZEL COMPLETELY TRUSTED HIM SHE IS PURE. SHE IS PURE.

blah blah some action scene with some cute/funny moments

varian be making BATH BOMBS good god. lush could never. someone get on manufacturing those for purchase.

where the F IS RUDDIGER OH MY GOD

ANDREW WENT IN FOR THE KILL LOL DISNEY. y’know FOR KIDS. but seriously this cements my hatred of andrew/hubert forever and ever. amen. not only is he a d-bag, he also tried to kill a kid. a kid who trusted him to some extent. nice

VARIAN ACTUALLY TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR SOMETHING. i’m gonna cry. he’s BECOMING A MAN. proud of him.

and THEN i freaked it. because um. YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH.

so i honest to god was NOT prepared for quirin in this episode. i was not at all prepared. i was gearing myself up for that close to or in the finale. but no. no they hit us right in the FACE, friends. they simply did not wait.

yknow i could say i wish they had extended this scene, and i do, because it could have used a little more, but the way it was executed was REAL GOOD like i LIKE liked it. i have 2 think it over a little bit more but quirin’s VA did THE MOST too. he was GOOD you can really hear the emotion in his voice and i’m crying now ha ha

oh yeah btw VARIAN JUST HEARD EXACTLY WHAT HE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR and that makes me sad in a way because to me, that essentially completes his arc. he will appear in more episodes but his arc is like, done because QUIRIN SAID THE THING! THE THING! AAHHHHHHHH HE SAID THE THIIIIIIING

he said the thing

and also i’m kinda glad that they didn’t wait any longer to yknow. free him. varian’s been jailed for a long time at this point and it’s just not good for him to make him wait any longer. HE NEEDS HIS DAD AAAAAAAAHHH

as an aside, i’m 99.9% sure that that note said WAY more than just “i’m proud of u son” but quirin was NOT up to having that convo in that scene so he just made shit up lol. good ol quirin still lying as usual lol. but this leaves something to be said here because VARIAN STILL DOESN’T KNOW THAT HIS FATHER WAS A FREAKIN GENERAL IN AN ARMY THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY HELLO???? hello.

in closing i am so glad varian & quirin showed up for that last song because it looks like they may actually be getting re-integrated into the community and none too surprisingly, it didn’t look like any coronans were going for varian’s throat. because he’s paid his debt to society. he’s good now. he learned that you always win when you are good. or something. idk about how they left this. the end of this ep really feels like the end of s3 except. we still have a whole freaking season ahead of us. and the main lingering plot point other than the king and queen’s memory loss is cassandra. because andrew & co. are jailed, remember?

this episode is full of plot holes some of which will be addressed in this season and some of which we will never receive full disclosure for. i understand why they did it, and fwiw the way this episode was implemented in EXECUTION is VERY satisfying to me and i enjoyed it like a LOT. but at the same time a lot of people are gonna be crying foul about wanting to see a more developed varian arc and cassandra’s origin and what was going on with varian and andrew and uhmygod. this is too much for me to process and it is now 3 minutes to 5am, and i need to get in a 30 minute nap before a full work week. so i have to end it here but i am NOT done talking about this you guys.

i know the storyline for this season was set in advance but something about this episode makes me feel like they made a few adjustments based on things people said? that’s probably not the case but idk i wouldn’t mind if it was.

so in short, 10/10 great episode you guys. it all really happened. tune in tomorrow for more. ahhh

#tangled the series spoilers #tts spoilers #rta spoilers #tangled spoilers #tangled the series #what in the h #i'm beyond it right now. im truly transcendent. what just happened to me

27 notes · View notes

sarasa-cat · 6 years

Text

Ramblings about characters (and writing them)

If I don’t fully know a character the instant I decide to write them, it takes me a long time to figure them out. That length of time is exponentially related to the length of the story I am writing. Not sure if it is the kind of writing I prefer to do (when not writing humor or fluff) or maybe my brain just needs a very long time to sort things out.

The kind of writing I prefer (when not fluff or humor) —> deep dives into a character’s psyche. So deep that the psychology of the character is the plot and the action that occurs inside and outside the character is just a mirror for us to look into their psyche and watch the inner drama unfold. To me, outer plot really isn’t important. Hell, that’s true when I am watching movies, playing games, etc. I don’t care if I get spoiled on plot points that most people care about because (a) I’ve already guessed most of the “surprise” twists (foreshadowing is often obvious to me, tropes are tropes, etc), (b) the plot points usually don’t tell me how a character’s inner life will transform which is the only thing I am interested in anyhow, and it is usually glossed over in media so I have to read subtle cues to make a guess or just toss my hands in the air and say that the writer(s)/actor(s)/creator(s) didn’t really care because *more explosions*. ;)

And maybe my brain requires a long time to sort things out because I am searching for the why behind the why behind the why. It’s like I need to build up enough of a socio-psychological profile for a character to explore X pages of story.

So...

Either a story falls out of the sky ready to be writen because “THIS THIS THIS THIS OMFG THIS^2 SO MUCH THIS *flails incoherently* THIIIIIIS”

-or-

A story needs to be discovered and that can be a long slow process that involves much exploration.

As for exploration, I find it best to low-level obsess over the writing project such that it is always in my mind and then, as I go about my day, I wait for things that I trip over in daily life to resonate such that I have mini-moments of “OMGGGGG THIS!” A quote, song lyrics, an image, something that a RL person does/says, a feeling/thought/behavior that I have or that another pesron has/expresses, something in the news, something congruent from another piece of fiction (not mine), etc.

It’s like I wait for the universe to reveal to me enough symbolic linkage such that my brain forms a BIG PICTURE of deep socio-psychological profiles of my characters. Once I have that, I grab whatever plot devices I need off the shelf to help reveal what I want to show. Meanwhile, a pile of notes and/or draft scenes are written, some of it eventually to be discarded.

Being forced to write under pressure only works some of the time.

Prompts and prompt challenges are hit and miss for me because ... idk, unless the prompt sparks with something already in my head, I have nothing to say. I’m not that kind of writer and I deeply admire those who are able to look at a random prompt and just run with it. ^_^

...

So, I had a moment with Monsters earlier today where something struck me as OH THIS. SO OBVIOUS. WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS LIKE **THIS** until NOW?!?!

I saw a quote while scrollingscroolingsccscsrrrollling thru random social media and the moment that quote appeared on my phone, one of my characters revealed a deep dark secret that is screamingly obvious except, well, I guess it wasn’t?

AND THAT MAKES ME NEED TO WRITE A WHOLE SERIES OF SCENES I HAVE IN PLANNING (some drafted) COMPLETEEELLLLY DIFFFFFFERENTLY. But they will be so much better because of this.

#writing about writing #even the litttlest monsters

3 notes · View notes

valkyrr · 7 years

Note

1-96, just because :P

-cracks knuckles- OH BOY alright, let’s do this

full meme under the cut

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

my closet doesn’t have a door!

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

YEA but they’re really faint unless i’ve been hanging out in the sun for a while

(3) Can You Whistle?

NO and I’m bitter

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

atm it’s blue, but it changes often

(6) Relationship Status.

single and kind of ready to mingle i’m not really sure just gonna see how things go

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

66 degrees F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

nope

(9) How Many Followers?

208

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Libra!!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel I think,,

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

if you’re talking abt a daily multivitamin and not medication then NO that’s a level of health I am Not At

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

ofc, i’ve figured out how to balance my phone on the shower ledge w/o it getting wet so i can sing to songs lmao

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

none atm

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

Ferahgo watched him intently and commented, “What’s that noise? Has one of your teeth broken? Oh look, it’s fallen out. (...)”

(16) Favourite Anime?

Lupin III

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Vinyls!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Crackers that may have been sitting in our pantry for ~4 months now

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

nah, but i’ll sing

(21) Favourite Animal?

Lynx

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

YEA I love the Olympics!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

1 AM - 3 AM

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

all of my mutuals tbh.....

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Music

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

with, but it’s gotta be classical or smooth jazz or Chill Anime Beats 24/7 or something

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

b o t h

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Orange

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

used to be team Xbox, i’m PS now bc i’m a traitor

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

depends what kind!

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

try to save it as best i can!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I’m back on my Bloodborne bullshit rn but besides that I’m really getting into Kings of Convenience as a band and i’m digging their music??

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

YEA kid me used to chase them around, keep them for a little bit, then release them

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

ye, please be aware i’m gonna copy personality traits if i’m around the same person for a while

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

lately yeah?? but i can’t ever remember them tbh

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Good Will Hunting

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Peanuts

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

honestly I still wanna see Fleet Foxes live but i’m ~salty~ because they just came to detroit @ a venue i’ve been at before and really liked and i was busy the day of their concert

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

not rly unless it comes to texture

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

tbh an atomic war could happen and if I was sleeping i’d be none the wiser

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

every time a thunderstorm happens i get 100% stronger

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

yea if i’m in the mood for it!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

also depends on my mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

The Growlers - Love Test

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer still, but it’s starting to feel like Fall in the evenings

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Pizza

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Cis girl

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea all the way

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No thank goodness

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Super Ace

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I wish;;

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Entei/ Aggron

(64) Favourite Social Media?

This hellsite

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

They’re cool, never use them though

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

All the time

(67) Are You A Virgin?

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Idk i think it’s like “Maui moisture” or somethin, i just picked it bc it smelled pretty good

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Sleep in my car, i’m a huge germaphobe abt motels/hotels in general

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

yes, thankfully

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

idk, the last one I wanted to see was Baby Driver but i don’t think it’s in theaters anymore?

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i only have one(1) ex from like...... grade school. lmao. i completely forgot about him ‘till this question

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

this

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown eyes are VERY underrated

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YEAH

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Tuna + Peaches

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

i have Fallout Shelter but i’m thiiiiiis close to deleting it because it’s stressful af and i get way too attached to my dwellers

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yea of course lmao I can’t see a reason why anyone wouldn’t???????

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

I used to pull internet marathons like that when I was in high school but I’m kinda over it

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

never in a creepy way, but i follow a ton of bands i like on instagram and i get unreasonably exited when one of them posts something to their story

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yea!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Not often

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

got in touch w a friend i hadn’t talked to in a while, did some laundry, drew a bit!

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

usually pj shorts and a t shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I have a ton of lipstick from Colourpop, a bunch o’ e.l.f. stuff, and some other misc things

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

there’s......... so many tbh

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Cream Soda

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rain on the window, cars passing on the road outside, running water

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

probably Bad, just chillin in my pjs

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Reading

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Okay I’d love to get something in the traditional style but I’m also one of those people who would prefer a tattoo w meaning and I don’t really know of anything I’d put on my body permanently yet?? Might change down the road idk

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

I’m only rly on YouTube for the music

thanks for the asks :)

#miscnerdings

2 notes · View notes

littlemissgot7 · 7 years

Note

I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY BECAUSE FIRSTLY, IVE BEEN READING THROUGH SOME OF YOUR WORKS AND WOW YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER AND ITS REALLY TICKLING MY SOFT STAN SIDE AND I LOVE THE LIL DETAILS AND THE CUTE THINGS YOU ADD IN DIALOGUES AND WOW EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND FLUFF I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH BUT I ALSO WANT TO CRY BC???? WHERE IS BAMBAM???? ;n; PLEASE TELL ME YOURE GONNA WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM EVENTUALLY OR SOMETHING IDK I FEEL LIKE YOU'D ABSOLUTELY MAKE SOMETHING AMAZING FOR HIM

+ SO YEAH I HOPE YOU KEEP ON WRITING AND KEEP ON ENJOYING IT AND I HOPE INSPIRATION AND MOTIVATION KEEPS COMING YOUR WAY!!! LOTS OF GOOD VIBES TO YOU!!!

AND GOODNESS HOW I WISH YOU HAD A MOBILE MASTERLIST???? IT GETS HARD TO DROP HEARTS ON YOUR WONDERFUL WRITINGS WHEN IM ON MY PHONE SKSJSKAO

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I’m sorry this reply is about a million years late I’ve been busy and not checking tumblr much lately so I missed thiiiiiis T_____T

BUT SECOND OF ALL I’m gonna cry you’re too cute I can’t deal fjeiwaofj I”m so happy you like all the dumb fluff!!!!! :D :D BUT ALSO YEAH WHERE IS BAMBAM the answer is I’m not sure hahaha no one’s requested him when I’ve had requests open, and I usually end up on Mark or Youngjae when I’m just writing for me hahaha ^^;;;;; but hopefully I will write something for Double B soon!! I want to try to finish the requests I have right now first

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD VIBES DARLIN I LOVE THEM AND I NEED THEM

And third of all!! I’ve been meaning to make a mobile masterlist for a while but I’ve never gotten around to it so I’ll try to do that sooooon for you guys!

#ultdabdab #answer #WOW YOU ARE SO CUTE #THESE JUST MADE MY DAY SO MUCH BETTER YOU ARE PRECIOUS #THANK YOUUUUUUUU

4 notes · View notes

pomade · 7 years

Text

whoops apparently i got tagged

I got tagged by @thetasigmawillseeyounow

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. Drink: gatorade 2. Phone call: a guy in illinois? 3. Text message: Kris 4. Song you listened to: The Private And Intimate Life Of The House from Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 5. Time you cried: last night?

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: Nup 7. Been Cheated on: no comment 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah 9. Lost someone special: Yep 10. Been depressed: (: 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Again, no comment

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Graphite gray-ish blue 13. Silver 14. Scarlet

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah 16. Fallen out of love: Yes? 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't think so? 19. Met someone who changed you: I don't think so 20. Found out who your true friends are: I already knew 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: facebook is for losers

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: f acebook is for LOSERS

23. Do you have any pets: two cats; Koda and Tangerine, and kind of a dog named Chloe?

24. Do you want to change your name: Not really 25. What did you do for your last birthday: I think a Slip N Slide and X Men movies 26. What time did you wake up: 7:54 meaning my alarm hadn't went off an hour before when it was supposed to 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Listening to stand up comedy and trying to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: the sweet release of death

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: last night 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i'm not gonna say it so that people who don't know won't see this but if you know me you know 31. What are you listening to right now: Top 40 Lost or Banned Episodes of Kid Shows 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah he was a dick and cried when fourth graders made fun of Duke (A basketball team people from KY hate) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: this grainy ass proactive shit that dried on my face 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube 35. Elementary: Hell 36. High School: insert noise I can't type but feel right here 37. College: (-: 38. Hair color: Brown 39. Long or short hair: Short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Unfortunately 41. What do you like about yourself: Sometimes I can write and people have told me I'm mature for my age? 42. Piercings: One ear's pierced and the other earlobe is split oops 43. Blood type: A+? 44. Nickname: Jay, Bucky, Jace 45. Relationship status: Pining 46. Zodiac sign: Gemini 47. Pronouns: He&Him 48. Favorite TV show: The Walking Dead and Bob's Burgers 49. Tattoos: None right now 50. Right- or left-handed: Right

FIRST: 51. Surgery: I had ear tubes when I was a baby 52. Piercing: Both my ears 54. Sport: Ballet, gymnastics, and soccer 55. Vacation: No clue 56. Pair of trainers: ????

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: TAKIS 58. Drinking: Lemon lime gatorade 59. I’m about to: Get up, unfortunately 61. Waiting for: It 62. Want: To go home 63. Get married: Hopefully? 64. Career: IIIIII don't wanna think about thiiiiiis 65. Hugs or kisses: Kisses 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: shruuug 68. Older or younger: Older 69. Light or dark eyes: Dark 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: all arms and stomachs are nice to me 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hookup or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant in real life, troublemaker when doing dumb shit online

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: Yeah 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: YEP 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, it's a long story involving salt water and flashing people while boogie boarding. 78. Sex on first date: No 79. Broken someone’s heart: I think maybe once 80. Had your heart broken: Yeah 81. Been arrested: Not yet 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: Once

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: ehhhhhhhh 85. Miracles: Kind of? 86. Love at first sight: No way 87. Santa Claus: )-: 88. Kiss on the first date: Not usually 89. Angels: I want to believe in them but idk

OTHER: 90. Current best friend’s name: Kris, Gwen, Tonly/Fizzy, Robin, Quinn, Lauren 91. Eye color: Just brown 92. Favourite movie: Dead Poets Society, GotG Vol. 2, Nerve okay i tag @extremeyoutuber1026 @erla1 @this-is-unoriginal @charliander @blackqueenary

2 notes · View notes